“Tell Me You Don’t Have Any Friends Without Saying”: Woman Shares Her Honest Take On B-Day Parties
Interview With Expert
Who says the Internet can’t agree on anything? In this case, people banded together against one woman on X (Twitter) who expressed an unpopular opinion about birthdays. The user MicheBag22 posted that she does not want any invitations to birthday parties where she has to pay for the food herself.
Although the opinion in the comments was pretty unanimous, she did raise an interesting question: What is the etiquette for birthday dinners? Some people expressed how it’s nice to treat the birthday person. It’s their birthday, after all. Others chose to drag the OP and did so mercilessly. Check out people’s takes below, and let us know your opinion on this issue.
Because this turned out to be such a hot topic on the Internet, Bored Panda sought the expertise of an etiquette expert. Suzy Lins is a certified etiquette trainer who helps people gain confidence in business and social situations. We asked her about birthday dinner etiquette and who should pay the bill. Read her insights below!
More info: The Manners Maven | Instagram
If you choose to celebrate your birthday with your friends and family, often the best option is to have a dinner
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
One woman stirred up a discussion about whether the guests should pay or if the birthday person should treat everyone
Image credits: michebag22
Image credits: michebag22
Image credits: michebag22
Etiquette expert weighs in: the birthday person should pay, but there are some exceptions
This particular thread on “X” riled up quite a few social media users. Although most of them ridiculed the author for her argument that parents pay for the birthday kid, hence the birthday person should cover the bill as well, some people defended the OP.
Given that there’s so much contention around the topic, we decided to ask an etiquette expert what the right way to handle the bill at a birthday dinner is. Certified etiquette trainer Suzy Lins, aka The Manner’s Maven, says there is a general rule. “Etiquette calls for the person doing the inviting to pay for the meal.”
However, there are some exceptions, as always. “Keep in mind, this can vary depending on the formality of the event,” Lins notes. “If the birthday person is throwing a party to celebrate their birthday, they would be expected to pay for the meal.”
The situation changes when there’s no official party with invitations and such. “If it’s a group of friends getting together to celebrate the birthday person, typically each person would pay for themself and then chip in for the birthday person’s meal,” the etiquette expert explains.
Image credits: Jay Wennington (not the actual photo)
The birthday person should communicate things like this to their guests and friends beforehand
It can be difficult to know whether you should pay at a friend’s birthday dinner. Some people might think it’s common sense and not tell you, while others always include this information in their invitations.
“It’s a good idea to be clear on who is paying before the actual birthday meal,” The Manners Maven says. “The person throwing themselves a birthday party could say something like: ‘I’d love to have you at my birthday dinner, my treat!'”
“If it’s a group of friends getting together to celebrate a birthday, it should be made clear to everyone that they will be paying for their own meal and will be splitting the cost of the birthday person’s meal.”
“If this is not in their budget, then they can bow out at that time rather than being surprised when the bill comes. Make sure to let the server know in advance how you plan to split the bill. Either way, clear communication in advance will help avoid any awkward moments,” the expert trainer adds.
Unluckily for the OP, hardly any netizens agreed with this her hot take
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If your main defense of this is that "parents of the birthday kid paid for parties when you were a kid" but you're now an adult, well...
Add to that main defense this question, "How much did your mommy spend on that birthday present you are bringing?"
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I guess this is a cultural thing. Where I'm from (Eastern Europe), it is customary for the person celebrating their birthday to pay/provid for meals/drinks of everyone they invited, definitely not the other way around and most definitely not everyone paying for themselves.
Indeed, this must be a cultural issue. I'm a Spaniard, and it's assumed that I will pay if I gather people because it's my birthday and I want to celebrate it. Or maybe some people decide to celebrate my birthday (like a surprise party)... in such case, I wouldn't pay.
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In Europe the host is expected to pay the bill for a birthday dinner, and guests are expected to bring gifts.
Not in the UK. We pay for our own & share the cost of the Birthday peeps' food.
Load More Replies...
If your main defense of this is that "parents of the birthday kid paid for parties when you were a kid" but you're now an adult, well...
Add to that main defense this question, "How much did your mommy spend on that birthday present you are bringing?"
Load More Replies... I guess this is a cultural thing. Where I'm from (Eastern Europe), it is customary for the person celebrating their birthday to pay/provid for meals/drinks of everyone they invited, definitely not the other way around and most definitely not everyone paying for themselves.
Indeed, this must be a cultural issue. I'm a Spaniard, and it's assumed that I will pay if I gather people because it's my birthday and I want to celebrate it. Or maybe some people decide to celebrate my birthday (like a surprise party)... in such case, I wouldn't pay.
Load More Replies... In Europe the host is expected to pay the bill for a birthday dinner, and guests are expected to bring gifts.
Not in the UK. We pay for our own & share the cost of the Birthday peeps' food.
Load More Replies...
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