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We like to think we're on top of things, but that doesn't mean we are. For example, according to a survey sponsored by USANA and conducted by OnePoll, roughly four in five Americans consider themselves knowledgeable about the human body, but one-third of respondents didn't know we have two kidneys, and one-fifth believed we have three or more.
Which is probably why, when Reddit user Graynard asked all the doctors on the platform to share the wildest conversations they’ve had with adults, many came forth with stories that were equal parts surprising and amusing. From grown men thinking they’re experiencing menopause to women fearing they’ll contract AIDS through a toilet seat, our ignorance can be pretty impressive.
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#1
**I don't want my baby to get a vaccine because Jenny McCarthy's book says her son got Autism from the Thimerosal in his MMR vaccine.**
- Jenny McCarthy is a one time playboy model who wants to sell you her books.
- MMR is a live vaccine and does not contain Thimerosal.
- Thimerosal contains Ethylmercury which clears from your body in a ~10 days unlike methylmercury which stays for months and actually causes damage.
- Measles killed 135,000 people in the world ~~THIS~~ LAST YEAR
- Autism has a strong genetic component. If one identical twin has it, there is a 75% chance the other will as well.
~~with 75% of identical twins both having autism.~~
- Andrew Wakefield faked the research linking autism to MMR vaccine, lost his license to practice medicine, and made millions helping lawyers sue and selling books. He lives in a mansion in England.
I went to school for 11 years, spent 10,000 hours studying and just want to make sure your child stays healthy. Quit thinking your 5 minutes of internet research means anything, get over yourself, and vaccinate your damn baby.
Nitka Tsar 10 months ago
You know…. Even if vaccines could cause Autism….. it would be like any other risk. Compare a minimal chance of „getting Autism“ to the real threat of for example Measles (which are only coming back becsuse people stopped vaccinating their kids btw) and you should know what to do
Tamra 10 months ago
Wakefield has caused so much harm. What consequences has he had, other than (eventually) losing his license to practice medicine?
G A 10 months ago
I don't understand how he never got sued or jailed over his lies.
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Guess Undheit 10 months ago (edited)
Even ~~~IF~~~ vaccines caused autism, it would be one child in a thousand. Unvaccinated, many diseases will kill one child in a hundred or worse. But the idiots can't do grade school math, can't grasp that a manageable condition is NOT worse than a dead kid.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Wakefield did so much damage because he was developing his own vaccine. [insert.every.expletive.here]
Bell-icose 10 months ago
Unfortunately, those who do not believe in logic cannot be persuaded by it. (Logic is kind of like religion in that one and only way.)
April Pickett 10 months ago
Say it louder. I don't know why people are against vaccines. Those parents had to get them to start kindergarten/1st grade, with no exceptions.
Nicole Weymann 10 months ago
"But that would require some sort of government involvement "Socialism!!😱🤬" (I'd write in alternate capitals t indicate the HEAVY sarcasm, but that annoys me when reading it, so I don't inflict it upon others)
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Richard Iachetta 10 months ago
everyone wants to think they know more than everyone else. Their attempt to show it does the opposite It displays, at best their ignorance and at worst their utter stupidity
RELATED:
#2
Well it looks like she is about 30 days pregnant congrats!
How can she be pregnant she is only around her brother?
...well actually they don't follow the same moral code as you or I.
- veterinarian.
Nitka Tsar 10 months ago
Whow, for a second there….. that was well written. They knew exactly what they did there!
Anna Drever 10 months ago
We adopted 3 kitten siblings. 2 female and 1 male. There’s a reason we got him neutered first as we didn’t want that very scenario. Him at 5 months and the girls at 6, as per our vet’s instructions.
Nikole 10 months ago
I was thinking Flowers in the Attic, ha. Which I read when I was 11…
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#3
Not a doctor, but my human sexuality professor in grad school had some interesting stories. He worked a lot in very conservative Christian communities and so a lot of times people got married with no sex education. He had one couple who couldn't get pregnant. Turns out they thought sleeping together literally meant sleeping in the same bed. Another couple was in therapy because neither one of them enjoyed sex or ever had an orgasm. After having them talk through step by step what they did in bed, he learned the guy was just sticking it in and nothing else. He told the guy to move back and forth next time and see what happened. They couple came back one more time to say "THANK YOU!!!!!" and didn't need any more sessions.
Julia Mckinney 10 months ago
I've often thought that the whole "stay a virgin til you get married" thing was a crock. How can tell if your and your spouse are sexually compatible if you don't sleep together before the wedding?
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
And apparently don't know what sex is either
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Mel Colley 10 months ago
And this my friends are the kinds of people that made Trump president!
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
Even the awkward "sex ed" we had when I was in fifth grade in the late seventies was a helluva lot better than the absolute nothing most American kids get today. Bring it back, make it better, and ffs do NOT allow parents to exempt their kids from it for religious reasons.
Highfalutin Heron 10 months ago
The rest of the conversation with "sleeping in the same bed" couple must have been a shock
Linda Riebel 10 months ago
This is not the young people's stupidity. IT'S THE DAMN FUNDAMENTALISTS' FAULT!
King Of Birbz 10 months ago
he just stuck it in and left it there- oh dear lord how dumb some people are
#4
Patient made an appointment and brought in his s**t in a box. He was concerned about the size of his turd, and if it's normal. All he got from the visit was, "Normal turd. Yes, it's pretty wide."
Turd box was set out with biohazard waste. Waste guy thought it was a misplaced package and put it on the front desk. Secretary got quite the surprise that day..
Becky Samuel 10 months ago
"Rate my shít" was a very popular site in the early days of the Internet.
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ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
I've done this with my cat's turd to the vet. But turns out she actually has a hernia, so that's why her turds were so wide. She's much better now 😁
King Of Birbz 10 months ago
what compells a person to take their s**t out of the toilet and put it in a box to bring to the doctor like it's a sick pet gerbil?
glowworm2 10 months ago
When I was little, we had to do that once because mine was bloody. Big difference there though.
Load More Replies... #5
I was a newly minted graduate with fresh and optimistic views on my life as a doctor. Second week in came this old lady and her very dysfunctional family.
They would argue and complain about everything, from the food, the nurses they didnt like and every single medical decision we made. She was very very sick so her management was just as complicated.
She had several children and they all didnt like one another and would not talk to one another. Each time we would have to explain a long update to every single one of them because they "are entitled to hear it from a doctor".
One of these stories being sitting down and explaining why you don't give gatorade as an IV drip. They did not understand why we were giving "salt water" to her.
Conversation with her son:
"Look she likes gatorade, she is drinking it so why cant you give it to her through her drip?"
We explain why.
Son frowns. "But its isotonic."
We explain again.
"Yes but gatorade has more electrolytes."
We explain again.
"Salt water just seems to be too cheap. Cant you give her something else closer to gatorade? That has electrolytes?"
Continues for two hours. Wash and repeat every day during her admission.
Afterwards I told my fiance. He opened up a scene from Idiocracy on youtube and I just sat there with my mouth open for a while.
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
Each time we would have to explain a long update to every single one of them because they "are entitled to hear it from a doctor". NO. Updates are with the (competent) patient--or, if not competent, with the appropriate surrogate decision-makers--and any support people who happen to be there at the time. MAYBE, a single separate discussions with whomever the patient nominates as the "family liaison". Any questions from other family members get redirected to the liaison or to the patient themselves. Health care staff don't have the time to offer one-on-one play-by-play after-reports to everyone who wants one, and that is before you even consider the potential issues of confidentiality (especially between members of a dysfunctional family).
Nikole 10 months ago
And yet… *gestures around and then points at the next U.S. president*
Load More Replies... Glasofruix 10 months ago
Idiocracy becomes less and less a comedy and more and more a documentary.
AsylumWalker 10 months ago
Dystopian movies are always reflective of the time in which they are made, just pushed further. Its always been a documentary, but its also always had an uncomfortable pro eugenics angle
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Warren Peece 10 months ago
If you are going to charge $150 for something the hospital purchases for $2, make it something good.
#6
Step mom is an ER nurse, she used to tell stories about her fun patients she had. My favorite was always this:
Severely drunk guy came in with signs of alcohol poisoning. They put a urethral catheter in him so he didn't p**s himself. He didn't quite understand what it was and why he had it in his d**k and kept on messing with it.
At one point he tried pulling it out and my step mom (she's not the very best at subtlety mind you) leans over and said in his ear: "If you pull that out now, your d**k will never work again". Well wouldn't you know it? He stopped trying to pull it out after that.
#7
Im an ER doc and see this far too often with young and middle aged people with minor aches
Patient : I have some *insert pain in random joint/limb/back* since yesterday.
Me: Did you take any thing for the pain
Patient: no I didn't
Me: why
Heres where I get multiple equally stupid answers from people
A : I wanted to see a doctor first (why??????? These people have mild pain and are willing to wait for hours for no reason)
B: I don't know what to take (how does anyone from the age of 15 onwards not know about Tylenol/advil/generic OTC pain meds is beyond me )
C: I don't like taking pills (the f**k do you think I'm going to do, lay hands and make it better I'm not a f*****g paladin!!!
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Yeah, upvoting this because I work with idiots who won't take painkillers but will whine about their headache, etc.
Deborah 10 months ago
I have a different problem, I'll happily take pain meds if needed, but most simply don't work for me. Even opioids.
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Tamsin Far 10 months ago
I honestly don't get this one. Yes, ok - you are wrong in the ER with MILD pain, at least if it's not from a very worrysome place and, yes, for a lot of back pains and so on it's a good idea to take something so the muscles will relax. But - all pain medication has side effects and to me it makes sense to first see a doctor while you can still tell what's hurting exactly where. Why does a doctor advise to take anything you know from ads only if you are not sure you need it?
firecrackershrimp 10 months ago
For the same reason you don't go to the ER or doc if you sneeze a couple times or cough a couple times etcetera. Most basic things will clear up in a day with basic OTC meds. Only then if your still symptomatic should you consider escalating.
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Meagan Glaser 10 months ago
A. Because of doctors who tell patients "well, nothing I can do to diagnose you because you took painkillers. Next time wait longer/wait till you see me." they go to see the doctor before taking anything because of years of being warned not to ignore symptoms. They want to know what's wrong, not just throw painkillers at it. Sure, 99% of the time what's "wrong" is "ur old, ur human, take meds" but that's the reason they do it.
Upstaged75 10 months ago
People who abuse the ER are why the care often sucks and the waits are long. That's what your GP or urgent care is for!
m6nbtfpx7q 10 months ago
My dad did this though, he wanted a doctors opinion on what to take. He can get a little too high from two extra strength Tylenol and is currently prescribed the same dosage at 72, 230lbs that my 8lb dog is on.
Chicken Mitten 10 months ago
This is why geriatric medicine is so important. The body does not act the same as it once did.
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Con O Cuinn 10 months ago
Considering I got sent home from A&E with a torn ACL and told to just ice it and it would be fine, f**k this attitude.
Robert T 10 months ago
Depending upon what you take, it can mask symptoms or prevent you from being given a stronger painkiller. For example paracetemol will lower your temperature. If you have taken one type of painkiller, then you will have to wait a while before you can have something in the same group. If you do take something, you need to remember exactly what and when, and preferably take the bottle/packet with you.
Still Going 10 months ago
My husband was an RN before retiring; apparently, that scenario is very common. Someone who might've gotten better with just a few days of taking it easy and OTC pain meds as needed will come into the hospital and wait for hours - just to be told by a doctor to take it easy and use OTC pain meds. 🤦🏻
#8
My sister (who is a new redditor and hope sees this) is a doctor and 25 years ago when she had her very very first patient out of residency and this patient refused to allow her to see her breasts (which were sore and needed a mammogram to check out a lump). So sister asks why and this girl who is about 30 and single said matter of factly "oh. That's lesbian. We can't do that. It's against the lord's wishes." She loves telling this story at the dinner table on family gatherings. Especially to our religious side.
char 10 months ago
so she would prefer a male doctor inspecting her tits? is the lord okay with that one?
General Anaesthesia 10 months ago
doG would rather let you die than have a woman save your life, got it.
Robin Roper 10 months ago
So why did she go to the doctor for a breast problem? Surely, she didn't think the doctor could diagnose or treat the issue without a full examination.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
I'm fairly sure the bible doesn't say anything about lesbianism (unlike male homosexual relationships, which of course do get a mention)
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 10 months ago (edited)
I thought that was a translation error and it was actually against pdf files?
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#9
I'm a paramedic and recently transported an idiot who self presented to the local hospital, who found he was having a heart attack (stemi) and needed him sent to a bigger hospital for treatment.
During my assessment I asked him how long he'd been having chest pain. On and off for twelve months, he tells me.
Any family history? (One of the biggest indicators). Oh, yes. Dad died of a heart attack. Brother died of a heart attack. Both of them first presentation, stone dead on the spot, no f*****g about.
So... you have a 12 month history of intermittent chest pain, and a family history of your closest male relatives spontaneously chucking hearties and dying, and you've never got it investigated. Further more, the only reason you came to the hospital tonight is because your family badgered you into it.
I told him he needed a solid kick in the a**e. To his credit, he agreed.
Family's_disappointment 10 months ago
At least he had the decency to understand his mistake and then try fix it
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Both of my younger brothers went suddenly from convulsive heart attacks. I have the same heart disease they did. I don't want it to be now, but that is the way I want to go.
Con O Cuinn 10 months ago
Very possible he saw it as an inevitable death sentence and that's why he didn't bother with it. Grief can warp your thought process around things like this.
#10
Not a doctor (yet) but an ER tec for ~2 years. Mom comes in with her baby plus two more older kids. Complains that the baby hasn't pooped in a while and wont stop crying. As I'm settling them in with one of the nurses, the baby is bawling, like opera singer lungs bawling. Suddenly mom whips out a white plastic shopping bag and sticks an end in the kids mouth, says "this is the only way she stops crying." Nurse and I share a look and immediately order and emergency x-ray on the kids stomach. Turns out she had ingested a good amount of these bags and it was blocking up in her stomach. Big deal, potentially life threatening. When we confront the mom about her baby feeding habits her only words of defense are "Well I checked all over the bag and I couldn't find anything that said 'non edible.'"
TLDR: Mom had been letting her baby teeth on plastic bags because she didn't know they weren't edible.
Original Kinkster 10 months ago
Well, we don't know about the ones that didn't make it so far...
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Noflipstogive 10 months ago
THIS is why we have to have all of those absurd warning labels on literally everything.
Original Kinkster 10 months ago
But you have to admit that there's indeed no label saying that a bag isn't edible. Makes me thinking about Einstein once again.
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Regina Holt 10 months ago
Well, there is nothing written on a vacuum cleaner cord telling you it is non edible. Just don't vacuum with the kid around.
BossyCloud 10 months ago
I mean, requiring a license to drive hasn't fixed that problem either...
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detective miller's hat 10 months ago
This is why things that are very obviously deadly poison have warnings on them that say "do not eat."
Mecha_Phed 10 months ago
She gets to vote other than being a "parent" omg this is top notch stupidity!
#11
Medical Assistant to a cataract surgeon here.
If you f*****g sleep in your contact lenses long enough, they will fuse to your eyes and will need surgery to have them removed. Yes, you can go blind from this. For the love of God, don't sleep in your contact lenses.
Strings 10 months ago
When I still wore contacts, I would ocassionally sleep in them. Usually followed within a day or three by a week of wearing my glasses again
Sue User 10 months ago
Same. If i slept with them in, i would have to take them out the next day. Otherwise it was like wearing sandpaper.
Load More Replies... ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
I did this when I was in highschool and just got contacts. I had such a a hard time getting them in I just left them in. And my vision kept getting worse, swollen corneas... Yep, I was an idiot at 15.
Big Chungus 10 months ago
There are certain contacts made for long wear through day and night, but its like a week max and they need to be changed.
UKGrandad 10 months ago (edited)
They make contact lenses that are big enough for people to sleep in? Personally, I prefer to sleep in a bed.
Guess Undheit 10 months ago
Taiwan, 2014: A woman went blind by not changing her lenses for six months. [ https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/a-contact-lens-cautionary-tale-wearing-lenses-too-long-woman-blinded-by-amoebas/article19630094/ ] I only wear disposables (use once, never again for the sake of hygiene), and only on nights out at the bar or social events. Otherwise glasses are easier 99% of the time.
KittyMommy 10 months ago (edited)
I have contacts for times when I'm going to be outside for an extended period of time. I can't see to read with my contacts in and it's too much of a pain to put them in for only an hour or so. I can't see fine details with them
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Enby Lindor 10 months ago
This is one of the reasons I don't want to wear contacts. I know I'll forget to take them out before bed on more than one occasion 😭
Nikole 10 months ago
Ha I’ve done that (when I used to wear contacts). When you wake up in the morning it’s like, wait, something is different… OMG! No, no… I slept wearing contacts…
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BookFanatic 10 months ago
I was a stupid teenager (that's a reason, not an excuse) and took a nap in mine. Still not sure how the silly thing managed to move up to the top of my eyeball. Absolute panic until I blinked a couple times.
Nikole 10 months ago
That happened to me in class in high school. I had to go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, lift my lid slightly, and then move the contact down with my other hand.
Load More Replies... King Of Birbz 10 months ago
well I didn't know this. maybe because I don't have contact lenses
#12
So I'm ~~only~~ an EMT, but I want to weigh in here to this conversation.
I had to tell a patient with severe pneumonia (and the patient's family) that you don't get sick (i.e. catch a cold) by leaving your skin exposed. The family was vehemently debating me on the fact claiming that I had no idea what I was talking about because I'm not a doctor.
Attempting to explain to them the necessity for a foreign body to enter your system was the most preposterous thing to them.
Edit: I just want to say to everyone who flooded my inbox with wonderful sentiments regarding the work of EMTs and paramedics. That appreciation makes dealing with the seemingly inexorable chorus of professionals telling us (me) otherwise much easier.
Kira Okah 10 months ago
Is this family related to my step-mother? She is a doctor and believes that colds are caused by exposed shoulders.
Meowzers! 10 months ago
I was told as a child that you can't go out in the cold with wet hair or you'll catch a cold.
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Erla Zwingle 10 months ago
Wet hair. I grew up with the dictum "If you go outside in the winter with wet hair you will definitely catch a cold." I walked home after swimming practicein below-zero weather and icicles were hanging from my hair. Not one cold. Ever. But the dictum remained.
Deborah 10 months ago
At a boarding school in PA in the early 70s, there was a girl from FL who'd never experienced cold weather. She went out with her hair wet. Bit of it actually froze! No other problems.
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Another Panda 10 months ago
*only* ?!? EMTs rock. You are the first line of defense in keeping patients alive. Any medico who looks down on your training and abilities needs a swift kick in the backside.
Glasofruix 10 months ago
Yeah, my family on my mother's side believes that anything cold will make you sick. Oh you have the sniffles? That's because of the ice cream you ate yesterday. Got yelled at by my mother when i was a kid because i drank a glass of room temp water, i was sick and the only liquids i was allowed by her was hot tea which felt like swallowing broken glass.
Geoffrey Scott 10 months ago
While I do applaud your line of work, my understanding is your immune system WILL weaken if you get even mildly hypothermic.
Nicole Weymann 10 months ago
It's a looooong way from "some exposed skin" (shoulder? wrist? face?) without mentioned weather conditions (was it even freezing, let alone REALLY cold?) to hypothermia, even a mild one.
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Sparky Hughes 10 months ago
It’s usually the paramedics who keep you alive before seeing a doctor
Lene 10 months ago
I read about a study that found that keeping your nose and feet warm will reduce the risk of a cold signicantly. I've kept this in mind for over a year now and went from having the cold 3-5 times in a Winter to just 1 time. So I will for sure do this from now on!
Neb 10 months ago
I believe it is mostly related with environment suitable for viruses (cold and wet) and the fact that the cold might cause your body immune response become weaker. For me it is neck and back between shoulders - I start coughing and then almost directly to sick. Even if it is summer and it is only strong AC.
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Tom Hutcherson 10 months ago
I had a heart attack Oct. 20 last year, and this is what I wrote to everyone involved in my recovery. Dear R.N.s, NPs and PAs I hope this letter finds you well. I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for the incredible work you do every day. Your dedication, compassion, and expertise make a profound difference in the lives of your patients and their families. Nursing is not just a profession; it is a calling that requires immense resilience and empathy. The challenges you face are immense, yet you approach each day with unwavering commitment and kindness. Your ability to provide comfort during difficult times, advocate for patients, and collaborate with your healthcare team is truly inspiring. Thank you for your tireless efforts, your late nights, and the emotional labor you invest in your work. You are the backbone of our healthcare system, and your contributions do not go unnoticed. Please know that your hard work is deeply appreciated and valued. With sincere
Debby Keir 10 months ago
This is purely a matter of understanding grammar. If you bare your skin, you may well get cold - but not a cold.
#13
There was a nursing student I had once who laughed loudly and exclaimed 'How can you possibly get an STD in your mouth?' ahh the innocence of youth.
m6nbtfpx7q 10 months ago
Who says it was a lady? I usually find men more uneducated on the subject.
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Tom De Paul 10 months ago
I know that my mother (born in 1912 and now deceased) would absolutely deny that people engaged in oral sex.
#14
I had severe asthma as a kid. I was intubated for a sever attack a few times. My parents were instructed to take better precautions in our home and went through instructions, more dusting, washing bedsheets etc.. and the big one NO SMOKING inside the house. So my parents agree to all of this.
Few weeks later I'm back in the hospital. A doctor recognized me and came over to talk. Then he bent over and smelled my head (I'll never forget that. I thought it was so weird). He told a nurse to sit there and not let me leave with my parents. When my parents showed up he asked point blank:
"Did you not understand what I told you last time? Do you understand these attacks could be fatal?"
"But we open windows and have stopped smoking in her room when we put her to bed" :/.
Jessica Cooney 10 months ago
Unfortunately, smokers, especially those who are parents, rarely care about the health effects of those around them caused by the second hand smoke. My mother once tried to quit. She came home and said, "Idk why I'm even doing this." to which I responded, "for my sister's and my health." The response from her: "That's not good enough."
cogadh 10 months ago
Your experience with smokers does not equate to all smokers. When I smoked, I never once lit up inside my own house, because it could affect others, like my kid. Rainy days, dead of winter, brutal summer heat... didn't matter, if I wanted a smoke, it was out to the patio for me. In the car, only smoke when there are no passengers and the window is always open when the cancer stick is lit. My father, who was also a smoker (coincidence?) had the same habits, never in the house, never with passengers in the car. He was a unicorn in that way, as smokers in the 70s and 80s were allowed to smoke pretty much everywhere and there was no shame in it.
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Tamra 10 months ago
Both of my parents smoked like chimneys. Never opened a window in the house or the car. We smelled disgusting, got frequent bronchial infections, and had a hard time playing sports. Also, we frequently had holes in our shoes, ill-fitting clothes, and were homeless more than once, but they always managed to afford those cigs. I know how addiction works, but I have a very visceral anger response when I see parents smoking around their children.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
My son went through (actually is still in) a monster truck phase, and we hit two or three events per year... the number of people I see who come out of the arena with 2-3-4 kids in tow and immediately light a cigarette is beyond me. Sucking a butt with one hand and holding your 4yo's hand with the other while crossing the street to the parking lot... [Shudder]
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LukewarmSoymilk 10 months ago
Ugh, reminds me of one video I watched. OP's mother had stage 4 lung cancer because of her husband's smoking habit that's persisted for around 40 years or so. He'd always smoke next to her without a care. Even as she sat there, having her lung drained, he would smoke right next to her.
Mickey Spencer 10 months ago
My dad was diagnosed with emphysema & told he'd die in a year if he didn't stop smoking. He didn't care. My pediatrician figured out that most of my respiratory ailments were caused by his smoking. He quit as soon as Mom told him he was killing me. I miss my Dad.
Janine Randall 10 months ago
I had severe asthma as a kid as well (the almost died kind). Luckily, my parents took it seriously. Everyone stopped smoking, new carpet in my room, etc. Fortunately, it wasn't triggered by pets, so no fluffies had to be rehomed. I was born to the right people!
Flavia Slag 10 months ago
I have smoke related asthma and now copd because no one would stop smoking around me when I was young. I always smelled like a cigarette.
Dawnieangel76 10 months ago
I'm 48, and I lived with my grandparents from birth until 11. Grampa smoked indoors. Smoked in the car, windows up. We sat in the "smoking sections" in restaurants. Flew on planes that allowed smoking at the time. I developed asthma in my late teens, but it's only started to get noticeably bad in the last 5 years or so.
#15
That the 30+ cups of coffee he was drinking every day could possibly be the cause of his chief complaints of anxiety and insomnia. He said he was not willing to give this up or try decaf.
Guess Undheit 10 months ago
Back in the 1990s, NHL goalie Nikolai Khabibulin drank two POTS per day, ended up regularly missing games due to dehydration. [ https://www.tampabay.com/archive/1997/03/16/slap-shots/ ]
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
How the hell you all drink that bitter despair masquerading as a breakfast drink
Linda Riebel 10 months ago
Send this guy to Ukraine to stay up 72 hours, and off a bunch of Russians.
Geoffrey Scott 10 months ago
My daughter, several years ago, complained to her husband about having no sleep and being jittery." What coffee have you been drinking?" "The stuff in the black pouch"..I believe it was called 'Back Death' or some such. Like triple the caffeine levels of normal coffee.
#16
I'm really late to this one but maybe someone will get a kick out of it.
A few years ago, the subject of human anatomy came up between a friend and I. He went on this whole tangent about how all men have uteruses because his college professor said so. I don't know if his professor was trying to explain transmen and some wires got crossed or what. But I had to explain to this fully grown man that he did not, nor did any natural born male, have a uterus. I sent him diagrams and told him to google for himself if he didn't believe me. He said those were fake, "Professor so and so said!" I asked him where he thought his uterus was and he said "the same place yours is". When I countered with "oh you have a vagina?" He got quite angry and said men don't have vaginas. I explained that not having a vagina means not having a uterus. He laughed at me and said "okay, just go ahead and believe that." Why yes I will go ahead and believe anatomical facts 🙄.
We weren't really friends anymore after that, especially since I asked about 20 times wether or not he was joking.
Erla Zwingle 10 months ago
"Just go ahead and believe that," the motto for the next five years. Or ten. Or forever, at this point.
Guess Undheit 10 months ago
This is what happens when "education" discourages curiosity. Nobody reads, nobody thinks. I've lost count of people who say, "Why would I read about that when it doesn't involve or affect me?" Because it involves or affects OTHER PEOPLE, people you might know. 9_9 Spending twenty minutes reading about a random thing you hear won't kill you.
firecrackershrimp 10 months ago
So the word of one professor over all the other information available to you .... Sound like many Magats out there today
Philly Bob 10 months ago
I was absolutely gonna say the same thing. 50 thousand doctors and scientists over alll the years and they listen only to the dear orange leader. But then again, he knows more about everything than anybody. On a scale such as the world has never seen before.
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Austzn 10 months ago
To be fair this is possible; it's called persistent mullerian duct syndrome. Some dude in the UK (I think) not too long ago got this surprise when he went in for what they thought was a hernia and found several other things in addition to his typical male reproductive tract.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
"You might very well believe that; I couldn't possibly comment" - Francis Urquhart, "House of Cards"
#17
I'm not a doctor but I suppose this is related, my mother (before she had kids) grew up not even knowing that you could breastfeed a baby. She was never told anything about what breasts were for, sex and even about homosexuality.
Her parents never talked about any topic that was considered taboo, my mother learnt about that once she had her first baby subsequently at 16.
Debby Keir 10 months ago
My stepmother had my half brother and immediately asked the midwife when they were coming to pierce her breasts....she thought someone had to peirce them before she could breastfeed. (She also thought the baby was in the bladder in a sac of urine, but that's another story)
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
And now I'm imagining The First Class singing "pee baby, pee baby, gimme your hand..."
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tw 72 10 months ago
Exactly. This is why sex ed should NOT be left up to the parents. Ever.
Load More Replies... G A 10 months ago
I can't believe how bad most of these are. I mean, the only thing I remember was one of the teachers putting a condom on a banana but we knew the basics even at 11 or 12 and that was 1982. Seems the world is going backwards.
BarfyCat 10 months ago
Grew up in the 80s and sex ed started in 3rd grade and continued every year all through high school, with more nuance and complexity each year (in U.S. public school). We've definitely gone backwards!!!
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LukewarmSoymilk 10 months ago
Reminds me of my step grandma who was born around 1940. She went into labor assuming she'd give birth through her belly button.
Leesa DeAndrea 10 months ago
My grandmother was a nurse. But I guess she never had "The Talk" with my mom. Which is why my mom got pregnant at 15 years old.
#18
My Dad's answer(I am not a doctor): My dad had to tell a patient that they were not pregnant. The patient was male.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
Was it a giant hair and teeth tumor baby? Referring to greys anatomy episode
Never Snarky 10 months ago
A young female doctor told my 70 year old mother she thought my mother was pregnant Mom didn’t go back to her
Sky Render 10 months ago
A very select few can. Transmasc individuals and certain rare intersex conditions allow for it. Denying it doesn't really change it being possible. Said intersex conditions aside though, at present there's no way for someone born male to get pregnant.
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CP 10 months ago
It is sad how much more effort it takes for you to be obtuse and miss the point. Why do you people care so much about trans people? It is gross and weird.
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#19
My brother is a general practitioner in rural Tennessee. Enough said, right?
He says most of his patient visits go about like this:
MD "Well, person, you're pre diabetic, have high blood pressure, and are complaining about joint pain. Have you been exercising and cutting out sugar and carbs?"
Person "yeah I have, doc, but it doesn't seem to help. Do you have any better meds you could prescribe?"
MD "well, let's talk about your diet. How much water do you drink a day?"
Person "I don't like water, so I get extra ice in my sweet tea every day to make sure I get enough water."
MD (explains how that's not enough water by a long shot) "how much sweet tea are you drinking every day? Those can have a lot of sugar in them."
Person "well I get a large one from Hardee's/McDonalds/ wherever on my way to work with my breakfast, and another one on my way home for dinner. Then I have a glass or two when I get home."
MD "well, that's a lot of sugar. And a lot of fast food if you are eating it twice a day. What do you eat at home?"
Person "I don't like to cook so I usually don't eat anything but little Debbie snack cakes at home."
MD "those have a lot of sugar too..."
Person "I thought that all I had to do was cut out Mountain Dew! Now you're saying I can't eat my food or my snacks?! What are you suggesting I do? Eat salads for every meal?! Why can't you just up my meds?!".
HeavyMetalHeart 10 months ago
I was told I was pre-diabetic so I changed my diet and lost 14lbs. The doctor was astonished. Apparently 99% of people don’t do anything and just get diabetic.
CP 10 months ago
It isn't easy changing your lifelong eating habits. 99% of people will agree.
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 10 months ago (edited)
I had a patient who had daily headaches. Turned out she drank a cup of tea with her breakfast, and nothing else all day. I suggested she try drinking more throughout the day. Bizarrely, her headaches stopped!
Erla Zwingle 10 months ago
I don't want to chaaaaaange..... I want you to fiiiiiiiiix meeeeeeeee.....wah wah wah...
CP 10 months ago
Yeah that is how it goes a lot with people. Changing lifelong habits isn't easy.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 10 months ago (edited)
My father has just been diagnosed as pre diabetic. He drinks coffee with sweetener, my mother cooks real food from scratch, I make his desserts without sugar. He's not overweight. It's going to be an interesting conversation with the nurse. I'm guessing he's just old, his pancreas is giving up the same as most of the rest of him. Watch this space.
BarfyCat 10 months ago
My doc told me it's genetic. From your mother's side. I asked her because my dad and all his siblings were diabetic. My mom was not (nor is anyone in her family), so my doc said not to worry about it!
Load More Replies... ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
My partner is from Tennessee. Sounds about right. Except BBQ is its own food group.
DramaDoc 10 months ago
I was diagnosed with T2D (A1c was over 1100 at the time). Turns out for me it had very little to do with my diet and exorcise: my thyroid was seriously out of whack. Once that got regulated, I dropped 65 lbs, stopped being insulin dependent, and have consistent A1c levels between 5.1 - 6.0 since 2019. I learned that when in doubt, get your thyroid checked.
Heras buddy 10 months ago
Met a woman who had her last chemo treatment. She was in the store buying cigarettes.
B 10 months ago
My husband changed his diet lost 40 lbs & is no longer pre diabetic. It's just a matter of if you are willing to help yourself
Kelly H. Wilder 10 months ago
It is not always that simple. Diabetes and insulin resistance have a very strong genetic component. Your trite statement makes it seem like it's the patient's fault; that is not always the case.
Load More Replies... #20
Patient comes in at 2am for insomnia, clearly tweaking her brains out, heart rate 200. Can't sit still, bouncing off the walls. I suggest maybe easing up on the c*****e. "But doctor, I LOVE c*****e." K.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
You love cocaine so why are you in the hospital trying to cure your high???
Hugh Crawford 10 months ago
Oh, I actually thought they were censoring "coffee" 😂
Load More Replies... justanotherweirdo 10 months ago
Totally thought the censored word was coffee for a second there 😂
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
I had no idea indulging in coochie could have such side effects
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Yeah, I like to go out for chinese too, but may try pizza or tacos.
#21
I was living in China and taught English on the side to a student whose mother was a physician. This was in 2012 just prior to the London Olympics, the mother wanted to send her daughter to London with a school group to watch the Olympics but has reservations about it. I asked why, she said she was worried that her daughter would catch AIDS from using the public toilets. Yes, a doctor.
Robin Roper 10 months ago
I was once asked by a 17 year old if she could get HIV from a toilet seat. I started with "To contract HIV from a toilet, an open wound on your body (buttocks) would have to come into contact with fresh/wet blood, semen, vaginal fluids, or beast milk." I then asked, "If you went into a toilet of any kind and there was fresh/wet blood, semen, vaginal fluids, or beast milk on the seat or anywhere in the stall, wouldn't you choose a different toilet to use?" I also explained that if she chose to use that toilet and didn't have an open wound on her buttocks, how she would have to oddly straddle the wet and disgusting toilet in such as way as for the fluids to enter her body though one of the natural openings she had between her legs. Her mother was an idiot; It was an interesting conversation.
Kira Okah 10 months ago
My step mother is a doctor - she believes that Chinese medicine (not the herbs part) and reiki are completely valid and that you can catch a cold from having bare shoulders. Several people in my med school class believed that babies were incapable of feeling pain so hole in the heart surgery should be done on newborns with zero pain management.
Torres (Student) LI 10 months ago
For me, Chinese medicine is used for more long-term issues like a cough that won't go away or constantly having a blocked nose ( as a Chinese person)
Nitka Tsar 10 months ago
Chinese as in „I live in China“ or Chinese as in „I was born and raised in the US but my Grandparents came from China“? Please don‘t hate me, but I think it makes a huge difference in the perspective.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 10 months ago (edited)
When the medical advice columnist Doctor Hip Pocrates was asked by a reader if it was possible to get a STD in a public bathroom, he replied "Yes. But bathroom floors are often cold and hard."
Tom De Paul 10 months ago
Med students in Africa burst into laughter when first told HIV was sexually transmitted.
justagirl 10 months ago
uh huh. i don't think the ruling elite have anything to do with it...more like, we are very patriotic and focus on chinese and math, rather than history.
Load More Replies... #22
Not a doctor, dental hygienist...
Had to explain that brushing your teeth with Comet ( the cleaner ) was not a good way to clean your teeth to a 40 year old woman.
Also had to tell a woman that painting her teeth with white finger nail polish was a bad idea.
AtMostAFabulist 10 months ago
Comet, is worse than Listerine, Comet, will make your mouth turn green. Comet, will make you vomit. So buy some Comet and vomit today.
Kiss Army 10 months ago
We always sang: "Comet, it makes your mouth turn green. Comet, it tastes like gasoline. Comet, it'll make you vomit. So eat Comet and vomit, today!"
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GrowingThruConcrete 10 months ago
My mum and her friends used glow in the dark nail polish to paint they teeth, then used a hair dryer to set. in our trailers bathroom before a night clubbing under blacklights in the 90s
Meagan Glaser 10 months ago
Old school hollywood did use varnish on actors teeth sometimes. Apparantly it was quite a talking point on the "gone with the wind" set because the dude's teeth reeked like gasoline because of it
#23
A mother came in with her son to discuss treating his acne. Son was about 15 years old and didn't really care about the acne but mom did. After going over treatment options she asked if he just needed to "do it" to get rid of the acne. A grown woman with a child thought that by him having sex his acne would magically go away...smh
EDIT: It seems that many people think that having being a teenager = acne, thus having sex makes you a man and you would no longer have acne. Odd thought process IMO.
Ace 10 months ago
And did they also believe that there was some fundamental difference between "doing it" with a partner and the "doing it" they'd already been doing to themselves for some years?
Pferdchen 10 months ago
To be fair and possibly a coincidence, my (M) acne did clear up when I had my first physically intimate romance. 35 years with acne was awful. Just kidding, I was 16. I worked as a hospital ward clerk and can still remember my embarrassment when Mrs. Greene saw me with a clear face and teased me with "Good for you, you're getting laid." Any doubt she had was certainly eradicated by my blushing face. Ah, the 1970's were a lot of fun!
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Mom had it backwards. Getting laid will not increase the chances of a teenager's acne going away. But a teenager's acne going away will increase their chances of getting laid.
The Other Guest 10 months ago
That edit has the same logic as "if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood." "And therefore...?" "A WITCH!"
Original Kinkster 10 months ago
Well, as far as I remember from my sex ed in the 90s, there should be some kind of link between your sexual hormones and acne so it can make sense to think that acne will get better when you're sexually active and "get this hormones out of your system".
TiNaBoNiNa 10 months ago
Yeah, the only way to get rid of "those" hormones is castration, just like a dog or horse.
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Dusty's mom 10 months ago
Maybe she had an experience similar to my husband's. Prior to marriage he had a pimply back. Less than an year of marriage and they were gone, never to return. I often wondered if regular bedroom gymnastics helped clear it up. He was in his middle 30s when we married. He admitted things were sporadic previously. Maybe contact with my hormones had something to do with it? His stress level was about the same.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
Good on them for not having ever had to deal with adult-onset acne, I guess...?
Abel 10 months ago
Not my case but I knew somebody who had acne as an adult., about 30 yo. Not agressively, but thats what doctor said. With skin diseases everything is possible! 🫤
Load More Replies... #24
Had a patient in our high priority area for DKA. Sugar was in the 800s. Stomach pain, nausea, vomiting and the such. Pulled Burger King and gummy worms out of his backpack and proceeded to eat them. Like bro do you even know what diabetes is? Noncompliance and lack of medical knowledge is a big thing in Detroit.
LukewarmSoymilk 10 months ago
DKA is one thing, but if I sat there vomiting, snacks would be the last thing on my mind wtf
Mr E 10 months ago
These days I see a lot of blatant non-compliance that cannot be blamed on a lack of medical knowledge. It is unbelievable. “I didn’t know I need to stop eat ing that…” Yes you did. You were told multiple times, were given a a full list of things to avoid, a comprehensive diet plan with numerous suggestions for snacks.
TiNaBoNiNa 10 months ago
That's when depression and/or mental illness enters the picture. Behavioral health counseling should be part of the treatment plan just as it is for other eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia.
Load More Replies... Kelly H. Wilder 10 months ago
My mother died from DKA. Her blood glucose level was over 1300 when she got to the hospital. She was essentially brain dead. The week leading up to her death she had flu-like symptoms, but it was the middle of December. She (and we) assumed it was the flu. We were wrong. Fatally wrong.
Never Snarky 10 months ago
Most people don’t know what carbohydrates are so don’t know how to cut back on or avoid them. Doctors should not assume they know.
Ellie Ahmed 10 months ago
I remember a patient who was day 2 post having gastric banding (back when that was still the top of the line bariatric surgery), still recovering in hospital, and she had her mother bring her in a McDonalds thick-shake. Then got mad because the surgeon came in for review and immediately threw it in the bin. I feel like I could give an entire thesis on regain post gastric banding and why its so common, but two days! This particular surgeon was actually pretty good with working with patients pre-op on expectations and screening whether patients would be good candidates for compliance post-op, but obviously she slipped through
#25
My friend is a student doctor and is on placement at a small town doctor's office.
She had a 70-ish year old woman come in with complaints of a small but painless growth that was visible at the back of her throat.
Turns out it took her 70 years to notice her uvula.
Kelly H. Wilder 10 months ago
So I apparently am very tired. I read uvula as vulva and was very confused. 🤦♀️ I should probably go to sleep.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
My first thought! That's where we learned about them
Load More Replies... FlamingoPanda 10 months ago
The little dangly thing at the back of your throat.
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#26
As a veterinarian, I had a 10 minute conversation with an owner explaining which side was the dog's left side.
quentariel 10 months ago
It's not too weird to ask questions like that, everyone isn't so good with directions. Also you can get confused about which way to look. I was buying a new fridge with my mom and the previous customer was making sure to get the opening side right and asked if they should think the directions as a person opening the fridge or as a person sitting inside it. The seller told that they made fridges mainly for people staying outside so the first options was right. But he admitted that it was far from first time that was asked.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
I have directional dyslexia. I can't tell left from right but I just have to pretend I'm about to pick up a pencil or hold up an L if I have time. It sucks. If I'm driving with the GPS voice on I'll panic like Michael Scott and my brain automatically makes me turn in the wrong direction
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Grandma told me to put my thumbs at right angles - the one that looks like an L is your left. Smart woman.
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geezeronthehill 10 months ago
In horse handling language the left side is the "near side" and the right is the "off side". Saddling, harnessing and mounting usually is done from the left while training a green horse. Later you train for the off side.
Ellie Ahmed 10 months ago
I'm not great with left and right, it really doesn't come naturally. Once I did learn I got taught the "making an L with your thumb and forefinger" method. This mostly works but always becomes a chore when, in my job, I need to report the site of a breast mass. Doctors describe the location using the clock-face method, so for example "L breast 1 o'clock" means the mass is in the upper-outer section of the breast. The mental gymnastics I have to go through - "this is my left hand because it makes an L, which means anatomical left corresponds to my right hand, then to go clockwise one hour I'd have to move my hand this way, which means that 1 o'clock would be on the outer side". I'm jealous of my colleagues who can just picture it naturally
Jen Hart 10 months ago
I'm a cancer registrar. We have this "boob clock" to help us code the site: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSL1B79JuQwEXaYV2bJa5OIaODQyJ7kJ5o5gg&s
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#27
Dentist here
Things I've had to explain to parents:
1. Breast milk CAN cause cavities
2. Don't put your kids to bed with a bottle with Coke in it. (They then switched to Diet Coke).. facepalm
3. Don't wiggle out your permanent teeth just because the tooth fairy will give you money.
4. You can't brush cavities away with toothpaste or any of these new Internet fads (oil pulling, honey, chocolate) once your cavity is deep enough it needs to be fixed by a dentist.
5. Fluoride isn't poison any more than table salt is poison. Small quantities are good for you. Anyone who tells you otherwise has been lied to and believed it.
I have plenty more, but I'd have to think harder.
Edit: Had a few questions about #3.. there was a little guy probably 8 years old or so that had wiggled out his 4 lower PERMANENT incisors (front teeth) after wiggling out his 4 baby teeth in the corresponding spots because his family made such a big deal about giving him money from the tooth fairy. They were in my office asking when the new teeth would be coming in.... had to tell them NEVER.
Edit#2: incisors only have 1 root typically and when it first erupts it is not completely developed and the tooth is still moving through bone so it isn't really firm in place yet.. this kid capitalized on a single-rooted, undeveloped, erupting tooth, and with a little elbow grease and the promise of riches was able to tough it out.
Elio 10 months ago
Same. I'd need orthodontics again but I think my insurance will pay for invisalign this time.
Load More Replies... TiNaBoNiNa 10 months ago
According to the Google AI: "Oil pulling is an ancient Ayurvedic practice where a person swishes edible oil, like coconut, sesame, or sunflower oil, in their mouth for several minutes before spitting it out, with the belief that it can improve oral health by removing bacteria and toxins from the mouth."
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#28
That having sex gets you pregnant. It was a 20+ year old woman that couldn't grasp the idea that sex leads to pregnancy. She thought that in order for a man and a woman to have children, they needed to be married first and then have a baby. That sex was just an act unrelated to it.
Then again, we are talking about a small rural community in the middle of f*****g-nowhere, Mexico.
Spidercat 10 months ago
Belief in the invisible man in the sky will make you believe funny things.
Geoffrey Scott 10 months ago
Or as 'Young Sheldon' said to his Mom..."You talk to a man in the sky that grants wishes...science is real".
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A dude who likes to drum 10 months ago
Idk who downvoted you but you’re correct so take my upvote
Load More Replies... Original Kinkster 10 months ago
The granny of my ex-wife was really surprised when she became pregnant again, since she didn't kiss her husband after her last pregnancy... It was her fourth child and she still thought it would be the kiss and not the sex that gets her pregnant.
Suzanne Wiliams 10 months ago
Small town in Florida. As a nurse you see everything. From the time a patient was 14, she came in pregnant, every year. So after 4 children, we said, well we will see you next year. Hell no she screamed at us. I found out what causes it! Oh lord no one ever explained how she got pregnant! So sad!!!
Regina Holt 10 months ago
And the right--wing christian conservatives want to prevent sex education.
Jenna Kay 10 months ago
Had a classmate in college who thought you got pregnant by holding hands. Like, the sperm swarm down his arm and up her arm and into her tummy. She had seen me holding hands with my bf and was worried for me. It was very touching that she cared. We had a very long talk over an anatomy book!
Cougar Allen 10 months ago
They probably didn't. Might have been born only a few weeks after they married, but it wasn't born out of wedlock....
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RajunCajun 10 months ago
I knew girls that thought you got pregnant just like your period. it just happens one day. you just need to get married first so you have a dad to help out.
#29
Lady had a broken jaw. She comes in after 2 weeks with an open mandible fracture. Referred her to the hospital for immediate surgery. She never went bc it "doesn't bother her and she'll see if it gets better".
#30
Nurse here. Retired after 27 years on the job. The number of American 20-somethings that don't know if they're circumcised or not is surprisingly high. When one with urinary tract infection symptoms needs to give a specimen for testing, I ask, "Are you circumcised?" If not, I have to tell them to pull back the foreskin before peeing in the cup. The number of guys who have asked, "What's that?" is way too many. For the record, I can count the number who were uncircumcised on two hands.
Ace 10 months ago
This is in America, totally fskd up IMO, but it's considered so normal that I'm not that surprised that some men are unaware that they underwent genital mutilation as a baby.
Austzn 10 months ago
Can confirm; there's a strange opposition to even talking about it in the US and dare you try to compare it being done to vulvas. I've literally been shouted at in person before for suggesting that maybe they shouldn't be cutting things off of ANY baby. True story: When my youngest was born, the nurse came proudly trotting into our hospital room with the authorization form for the genital cutting and just slapped it down at me and told me to sign it. I politely refused and told her we didn't request that nor are we doing that and she started an argument with me. Eventually she said something along the lines of, you better teach him to clean that thing! I replied, you mean like I would if he were female? She huffed under her breath and stormed off. I was shocked by how audacious her attitude was; totally unprofessional for a nurse to behave like that towards new parents.
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Original Kinkster 10 months ago
Wait, there are uncircumcised guys that don't pull back their foreskin before peeing? Why???
Austzn 10 months ago (edited)
That's probably the least of their issues. Remember, there is a small number of men out there who don't even wipe their asses because "it's gay".
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M McBride 10 months ago
My brother wasn’t circumcised as a baby, and he later decided to have it done as a teenager. He reports that the surgery caused significant scarring. Years later, when I was pregnant with my son, my brother said “ Whatever you do, get the kid circumcised as an infant. Don’t let him go through what I went through.” We talked it over with my son’s pediatrician, who said that there are documented benefits to circumcision (cleanliness and fewer infections, for example), so we had it done when my son was a few days old. It never seemed to cause him any pain (of course, he had a local anesthetic during the procedure, and topical pain relief in the days after). He’s nine now, and everything looks good. I totally understand both sides and why parents choose not to get it done when their kiddos are infants. I’m just saying we’re happy with our choice, and our son doesn’t care.
Sophia Athene 10 months ago
Did the doc explain the reduction in pleasure men lose through circumcision cutting off so many sexual nerves endings? Seriously, curious question, not antagonist.
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Dawn Marie 10 months ago
I am NOT going to apologize for having my son circumcised when he was two days old. By doing so it insures that he lessens the chance of infections as well as other diseases and has a fuller sexual life as an adult. He is now 25 and I do not regret my decision.
Joe Russo 10 months ago
After the Vietnam War especially this was standard practice for health reasons, not for...whatever else you might be imagining. A simple search will show you the stats on how much this decreases the chances of contracting STDs, etc. My mom is American, and was a nurse, and was very adamant about the number of health issues she saw as a nurse among the un-snipped...
Ralph Vanloton 10 months ago
If your junk looks like all of the other guy's junk how would you know the difference unless you were explained the difference?
Jumping Jellyfishes 10 months ago (edited)
I feel like this fits here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8utAagjD8SE
Guess Undheit 10 months ago
Yankland, of course, where genital mutilation of baby boys is a profitable industry. Charge the parents for mutilating the kid, then using the foreskin in expensive plastic surgery.
#31
So, not a doctor but I work at a hospital.
We had someone come into A&E because they needed their nails redoing...
They genuinely thought it was a good idea to go to accident and emergency to have their fake nails taken off and redone because they had gotten too long and become uncomfortable.
#32
Obligatory not me but my wife. She's a nurse practitioner and had to explain to a 40 year old man that brown sugar did, in fact, contain sugar and that is most likely the reason why he now has diabetes. The same man also adamantly insisted his wine consumption was not an issue because he "only drank the dry stuff like chianti so it doesn't have any sugar.".
#33
My mother is a doctor. She once told me this story about a patient she had (she serves low income people, so typically immigrants/minorities, usually without health insurance). The man is from Central America and is there for a normal check up. Typical of most patients, he has fairly high blood pressure. However, this man is also having bowel problems. So my mother asks, "What color and consistency is your feces when you need to use the bathroom?" The man has no idea what she's talking about. My mom tries again: "Your poop. What color and/or consistency is it typically?" The man still has no clue what she's saying (he understands a bit of english). She tries again. "Your doo doo." Nothing. "Your fecal matter." Nothing. "Your poo." Nothing. "Not number one, but number two." Nothing. Finally she asks, "It's not liquid when it comes out, but its more solid, you know?" The man has an epiphany. "Ohh, you mean s**t!" he says. "Yes, your s**t." So my highly educated, professional mother has to continue the rest of the checkup asking about his s**t. "What color is your s**t?" "Is it more wet?" "Does it hurt when you take a s**t?"
This went on for a fair amount of time. My mom nearly burst out laughing by the end of it. Absolutely amazing what a minor language barrier can do ...
#34
Doctor here.
I think the most frustrating I've seen since I was a resident was a very pretty (like stunningly pretty) 17 year old with what appeared to be normal, loving, affluent parents. She had a tumor in her pelvis (rhabdomyosarcoma) that we could resect to potentially cure her. The parents declined, also declined chemo and said they want to try holistic medicine because that made more sense to them.
I last saw her 3 years ago, she was getting huge lymph nodes removed from her groin because they were unsightly. Obviously metastatic disease. Parents did not want primary tumor removed and again declined chemo.
I see 100 patients/week probably, lots of devastatingly sad cases. But I still think about that girl, listening to her parents, costing her life. I bet she's dead now.
I can assure people, doctors are not trying to swindle you, give you unnecessary care, or have some ulterior motive in this sort of setting. 99.99% of doctors are treating patients the same way they'd treat family, so try not to be dense, we want to help.
Noflipstogive 10 months ago
I would ask why wasn’t CPS called or social services to get a court order?
Ace 10 months ago
These things take time and don't guarantee anything, the girl was 17, presumably when she first presented, so would very soon have reached the age of consent and was presumably indoctrinated into her parents' lunacy.
Load More Replies... The Other Guest 10 months ago
I don't understand the significance of this MINOR being "stunningly pretty." Would it have been less sad if she were average in appearance, or gods forbid - ugly?
cadena kuhn 10 months ago
They would only remove the unsightly problem seems like they were trying to keep her pretty
Load More Replies... #35
Not a doctor, but I agreed to pick up my good friend's wife from her pregnancy sonogram. Driving home, the wife tells me she's surprised it's a girl because the last kid was a girl and "it's supposed to go 'boy-girl-boy-girl', right?".
Original Kinkster 10 months ago
Oh yes, of course! Just think of the first children Adam and Eve had - Kain and Angelina...
#36
Not a doctor, but my favorite story from the last time this topic came up.
A woman came to her obgyn for an exam as she had an infection of some sort. The doctor did the exam and asked the usual questions "Are you sexually active, etc." and nothing seemed to obviously be the case. At some point though, the woman lets slip that she's sick and tired of dealing with this infection that she's had her whole life. That perks up the doctors antennae and so the doctor tentatively asked her which direction she wiped when she uses the toilet. This 30-something year old woman had been wiping back to front her whole life and didn't have any idea of the problems that could, and was, leading to.
wowbagger 10 months ago
I didn't know this till I was in my 20s and had had a couple of painful UTIs. This was pre-internet, and my parents never taught me the about wiping directions, so there wasn't really any other source of information until a nurse mentioned it to me.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I didn't know until I read it in a magazine when I was in my early twenties.
Load More Replies... justagirl 10 months ago
wait so she wiped the poop...into her butt? Is that's what's happening? And I didn't realize that there was a standard for which way to wipe, so now I think I may be doing it wrong? can someone help?
smugdruggler 10 months ago
Basically women should wipe front to back to avoid transferring fecal bacteria into the vagina as they can travel to bladder and cause urinary tract infections.
Load More Replies... Otto Katz 10 months ago
I am SO tired of the commercials for Uqora, to prevent uti's. this couple where the woman had 8 or 10 the previous year, so they invented this stuff. I yell at the tv for the guy to STOP GOING TO FIRE ISLAND! NO grown-a*s 30'something woman should be getting 10 uti's in a year.
#37
That coming to the ER for a pregnancy test is a very very expensive way to do it. Apparently she didn't know you could buy one at the Rite-Aid down the block. Seriously, don't come to the ER for a pregnancy test, cause the test results won't be the only surprise you'll be getting.
Also, if you have diabetes, that you need to take your medication. No, 'getting fatter' isn't the worst that can happen. The worst that can happen is that you'll die. That's why you're in the ER with diabetic ketoacidosis and suffering organ damage. It's why you're gonna lose your toes. Take your goddamn meds.
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
Story time. A few decades ago, when I was young pup working in a Catholic hospital's Emergency, a (very) young couple presented to triage asking for a pregnancy test. The nurse asked them how far along they thought the pregnancy was, and the couple looked at each other for a bit before the young lass blushed and whispered: "About 45 minutes." :)
Jan Rosier 10 months ago
lucky for me a spray of water is not too harmfull for a computer screen
Load More Replies... #38
My mom tells it so much better, but here's a try:
My mom was the head nurse at a clinic here in Houston in the 80's. She worked for an old WWII doctor that had gone into private practice (old school GP) when he returned back to the states. Well one afternoon she told me that they had a patient come in that was running a high fever and was complaining of pain in her pelvic area. Mom also tells me that there was a stench coming from the woman's lap that could only be described as enough to Gag a maggot off a meat wagon. She begins to interview the patient who told her that her and her boyfriend had been sexually active and that she has been in pain since. She thought that the woman may have contracted an STD and asked her to undress and wait for the doctor to examine her. The doctor arrives and closes the door, only to re-open it a few seconds later mentioning about the need for fresh air.
The doctor noticed that there was a vaginal discharge began to question the patient about her sex life, was it protected, non-protected, etc... According to mom, the patient told her "No doc, we always use a rubber." The doctor looked down then noticed that there was a small rubber band extending from the woman's vagina. The doctor reached in with his gloved hand and pulled it out. What came next can only be described as a magician pulling the magic cloth out of someone's mouth... one rubber band after another came out over the course of the next 10 minutes. Finally once they were all removed, the Doctor had "the talk" with the woman about sex education and that rubber bands were not a successful contraceptive and not what they meant by "wearing a rubber" and then wrote her a presecription for Abx.
Tldr: Mom was a nurse who had a patient use rubber bands as a contraceptive device who ended up with a severe infection and required medical attention to get them removed.
UKGrandad 10 months ago
That gives a whole new meaning to 'rubbing one out'.
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#39
Not a doctor, but I regularly have people come in for eye examinations because 'when I take my glasses of things are blurry'. Often these aren't passing comments during the exam, but the main reason for their visit to the clinic.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
Well yes, the blurriness when I take my glasses off has always been the main reason for my vision-related appointments. Am I missing something here?
Auntriarch 10 months ago
The first ever visit to an optician, yes. But I go when my vision is blurry with glasses.
Load More Replies... #40
From when I was a resident, working in the living hell that is the GYN-ER at a major Florida hospital.
Woman comes in complaining of missed periods. Hasn't had one in two months.
Me: Do you think there is any chance you may be pregnant?
Patient: No! That's impossible.
Me: Are you sexually active?
Patient: Yes, of course
Me: Do you use protection?
Patient: No.
Me: Do you think you might be pregnant??
Repeat for 15 minutes.
Edit: I swear, we could have reduced the number of visits to that ER by stapling a bag of pregnancy tests to the door with a sign saying "Think you're pregnant? Take one" and tacking a vaginal ultrasound probe to the door with a sign saying "Want a picture of the baby? We use this to take the ultrasound.".
The Other Guest 10 months ago
A sexually active lesbian or transwoman would be very unlikely to be pregnant. Not saying that is the case here, but it's a possibility.
#41
This is kind of the opposite. I'm a patient and went to a doc in the box because i hurt my foot and i have diabetes. (foot injuries should always be checked when you have diabetes) the Doc at the urgent care pricked my finger and saw that my sugar was 150. I just had lunch and my "normal" is between 120 and 150. He told me i had to lower it and said i should drink a coke because coke always regulates peoples sugar for some reason and he doesn't know why. I say no thanks and and he gets all mad cause he's the Dr and doesn't want me to leave until my sugar goes down. I called my real Dr while he was out of the room and after getting yelled at for going to a doc in the box he said he'll take care of it. 2 mins later the nurse came in and i was free to go. I didn't see the Dr. on the way out. Either with a different patient or avoiding me. Ill never go there again.
Edit: A "doc in a box" is any urgent care facility acting as a primary/ER but not quite either.
Grudge-holding Treefrog 10 months ago
“I see your blood sugar is high. Have some sugar for that”
kzys59pcrp 10 months ago
I have a friend who is about to have her foot amputated because she didn’t get help for an injury to her foot
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
Sounds like it should be another one of these items. "Always check to see if you have a doc in your box."
firecrackershrimp 10 months ago
Did you fall on your head ? Sugar free drinks do not lower your blood sugar... You just contributed to this article.
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#42
This will be a long story:
When I was an Internal Medicine resident I came across a very nice 50 year-old Dominican lady, she was well mannered but one could tell she was not the sharpest tool in the shed. As I was prepping her chart for our first visit, I noticed that she'd been seen by every single digestive disease MD in our hospital system. Not only that, she'd had EVERY SINGLE PROCEDURE IN THE BOOK. Ranging from endoscopies up both holes and culminating in an exploratory laparotomy (you're opened up to basically look inside you when we have no clue what's going on). All of this because for years she had one single complaint, she reported severe gnawing pain in her stomach. At this point I should mention that she was spanish speaking only. Not only that she had a very heavy dominican accent, and I was the first hispanic doctor to ever see her. My first language is spanish and even I had difficulty understanding her. So she comes in and after exchanging some first time pleasentries I politely ask her how she's doing. Sure enough although she was smiling and said she felt well she pointed at her belly and said "it" was biting again, and asked for the cream to kill "it". At this point I got intrigued. Her medication list only mentioned a cream used for herpes breakthroughs. The previous fellow only mentioned in his note that in every single visit she only asked for the cream and nithing else. When I asked what she meant by the biting and what she intended to do with the cream, she very calmly tells me she intended to stick the cream up her a*s in order to kill the bird living inside her. After delving more deeply into her story, it turns out she didn't have a medical condition. Ever since she was a little girl, she believed tahat after eating whole quail egg, the bird had spawned inside her and gnawed away in her insides whenever she was very hungry. After a short visit to psych, she was diagnosed with a somatic type delusional disorder. No amount of medication or psychotherapy will cure her, but she was still a fully functional mother of 2 who payed her taxes and had to part-time jobs. I reached out to every digestive disease doctor in out hospital system once more, to make sure she never receives an inappropriate invasive intervention. I've been following her now for three years and she's happy as one can be, considering she has a bird living inside her..
tldr: lady complains of "pain" in her belly, worst case of lost in translation ensues, gets very invasive medical procedures, turns out she's just cuckoo.
Pencil 10 months ago
Yes. "...the bird had spawned inside her and gnawed away in her insides whenever she was very hungry." When she was very hungry, her delusions told her that it was actually the bird causing the pain.
Load More Replies... 
#43
Paramedic here.
Was driving with my partner and patient in the back. Patient was fine. Patient's skeezy boyfriend was riding in the front with me and apparently saw a golden opportunity to ask a question that had obviously been on his mind for some time.
Him: So when cats and dogs eat grass, that means they have cancer, right?
Me: Ummm. No. No it does not.
Made for an awkwardly silent ride the rest of the way.
Dahamada Jamawas 10 months ago
If this makes a silent ride for sure, I will ask that every Uber driver from now on.
Brian Droste 10 months ago
I never heard of dogs eating grass but heard of cats eating grass. I thought that if cats ate grass there was something either wrong with their stomach or they are lacking something in there diet. Someone correct me if I am wrong about this.
CF 10 months ago
Dogs and cats can also eat grass just because they like it. I'm a vet, and I've had many dogs and cats. My old dog would snatch mouthfuls of tall green grass as he ran when we went on trails. He had a stomach of steel I swear and rarely had GI tract problems. My current cats love it, and I grow a pot of wheat/oat grass for them every month or so. The dog and the cats occasionally vomit the grass, and that is likely why they eat it when they have upset stomachs (instinct to induce vomiting).
Load More Replies... Guess Undheit 10 months ago
I'll bet (a) 90% of those reading don't know why dogs and cats eat grass, and (b) most of them won't go and find out why. Proving what I said in another comment about lack of curiosity.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
My first dog used to eat grass to make a point. If I stopped on his walk to talk to another person, he would eat grass immediately. And then stop when I moved on. It was quite obvious.
Load More Replies... #44
Had to explain to an adult you have to brush all the sides of a teeth. Like... no, just the side that shows when you smile is not enough. And yes flossing is not just a thing for rich people.
Breadcrumb. 10 months ago
I watched a YouTube video on how to brush properly, my parents never taught me.
zububonsai 10 months ago (edited)
And that's totally fine, cool 👍🏻 👏🏻And even better, you can now spread your knowledge, like, to your parents? Don't wanna sound condescending, in contrary, I had the same experience here. Grew up in the East bloc. Dentist visit in the 1980-ies meant "go only when in pain, if it's caries, they fill it with amalgam or pull it". Zero preventive education whatsoever, only "here's a toothbrush. Brush." My parents did sugar in everything, in tea/,herbal infusion, in salad.... I learnt what floss and flossing is in my late teens... Now me an my parents and children have upped our game.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Had to explain to my boss, a GP, how electric toothbrushes are superior to manual and used a broom and vacuum cleaner analogy...
#45
My mom is a nurse and told me about this guy with 17 kids (all girls) from 6 different women. He kept on having children because he really wanted a son- she had to explain that he was the determining factor for the baby's sex.
#46
I'm a dental hygienist and once was telling a patient after a cleaning that she had gingivitis. She replies with "I must have caught it from my boyfriend". Had to explain to her that it's because she doesn't brush/floss enough. She was 36.
#47
A 32 year old grown man asked me if the hot spells he was experiencing at night meant he was going through menopause.
#48
Not a doctor, but a coworker asked about a surgery we had just finished at the animal hospital I work at. The dog had a pyometra (pus filed uterus) we removed. When I told her this, she looked at me in horror and asked how the dog was going to be able to pee without a uterus.
She's 25.
Ace 10 months ago
Urethra/uterus, looks like a similar word, easy mistake to make. I recall when I was around 11 or 12 getting very embarrassed when my granny mentioned something my intestines, confusing with testes, which was a word I knew. OK so I wasn't 25, but still...
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Epidermis and epididymis is another pair ripe for confusion. We had such fun with that at school
Load More Replies... #49
My mother helps the Amish get dental care. One Amish woman complained that she needed new dentures. When asked why she thought so, she replied, "Well, I've lost weight, and you know that when you lose weight, you lose it in your gums first."
Doctors and dentists: if you're looking for a community to serve, the Amish can truly use your help. I could write a book about the things I've seen.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
The last hospital whose insurance company I worked for before getting out of the workforce had a HUGE Amish outreach program. One of the things I most appreciated about working there.
#50
OMFG, finally something I can comment on. Well, here in México we have something called social service (Our college education is free in some institutions, so we have to pay for it with one year of free work in a rural area).
So the first month a woman in her 30s came to consult because she was feeling weird in the mornings since forever. I asked what her symptoms were and she told me that every day she wakes up feeling her mouth dry, and that feeling disappears in about one or two hours. "well lady, how many water do you drink?" "Hmm, one or maybe two glasses, one at breakfast, and one middleday"
"Do you know what thirst is?"
"Yeah, when you drink water so you can p**s"
So I had a conversation that took one hour long about what thirst is and how it feels, also I had to told her that she needed to drink more water.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
That parenthetical is something that needs to be implemented globally.
ॐBoyGanesh 10 months ago (edited)
Maybe something is lost in the translation, but while 3-4 glasses of water per day isn’t anywhere near a good amount, it’s hardly likely to cause symptoms of dehydration. Also, “thirst” (in and of itself) isn’t a presentation of a medical symptom nor a diagnosis. Not even in Spanish. Not even in regional dialects of Spanish. Also, I wouldn’t advise a patient that we need to drink water to píss. There’s absolutely nothing medical about that recommendation nor is it responsible. Had a patient complaining of dry mouth enough to make a visit to a doctor’s office, I would do a little more than suggest she was thirsty. I looked for underlying issues and concerns, probably order some labs and check her for more serious issues. This is the least professional Entry on this very long list.
Sera 10 months ago
The patient described thirst as drinking water so she could urinate, not the doctor. Nothing lost in translation, just in your comprehension.
Load More Replies... #51
I don't know how much of this is true, it was my cousin (who is a doctor) who told me. He was in his first year in a clinic and people went there to have an appointment because he was good looking. Elder ladies loved him particularly. But this is totally unrelated, and the worst case was when this elder lady goes in with her granddaughter, around 8 yo. She had a severely infected wound in her head. Upon close inspection, he saw the wound crawling with small maggots and the smell was terrible. He was pissed, of course, and asked why didn't she washed the wound and brought her earlier. She said she thought it would heal with time and was afraid to wash it, lest water enters her brain and kills her. There was also this woman that took her 6 yo daughter there to check why she still didn't have pubes.
#52
That taking that weird plant they bought from a "pharmacy" online isn't 14.324 times better than chemo and doesn't only attack cancer cells because it likes the acid environment in it.
#53
While on dermatological rotation, a Middle Eastern patient saw me with what she described as some funny, itching growth in her butt crack. Some quick investigation revealed it to be a severe case of genital warts. I explained the diagnosis and that it was an STD until she shockingly assured that she was still a virgin. Now virginity is a big issue for young muslim women (or perhaps their families even more), but apparently that doesn't cover a**l sex and therefore no birth control in the form of, say, condoms was needed.
EDIT: I thought I share another story but this time with a colleague being the one acting stupidly. This was when I finally made it to neuroradiology and in comes this mother whose maybe three, four months old son we would scan today because he had epileptic seizures after his birth. Apparently, the paediatricians didn't tell her about the fits nor the severe neurological birth defects they knew about for weeks so I had to explain her that her child had mental disabilities. That was probably the first time I flipped out on a colleague I didn't even know over the telephone and, in the heat of the moment, wanted to find this idiot and spit in his face. He was totally oblivious of how he f****d up, saying there was a language barrier while this hospital employs a whole department of translators just for such cases.
Original Kinkster 10 months ago
Well, I don't know about other countries but here in Germany it seems to be pretty common among young Muslim women to have a**l sex when they want to be sexually active AND stay a virgin. But it's definitely important to practice safersex nonetheless.
#54
My friend is a doctor. Says that gynocologists, when interviewing a couple who can't get pregnant, start off by checking they are using the right hole.
Often they're going for the belly button.
#55
Am GP in small town British medical centre. Older lady came into one of the day clinics with a large shopping bag emitting a foul smell, so much so we gave her the 'special treat' reserved for smelly patients of waiting in the doctor's corridor instead of the waiting room, having received complaints from other patients.
Said older lady comes into my office for her appointment and sits down, asks me how big the largest 'poo' I've ever seen - "as a doctor" - was. I demur and explain I don't actually see as much poo as one might imagine, and she proceeds to tell me an epic tale:
For the week before her appointment, she'd had the worst case of constipation she'd ever had. She tried and tried, but could not go to the toilet no matter how much olive oil or liquorice she consumed. Then, the day before the clinic, she felt "the urge" and found herself doing "the longest poo I've ever seen - it just kept coming, and coming, and coming".
So fascinated was she by her enormous poo that she couldn't bring herself to flush it, but picked it out of the toilet, put it in a waterproof shopping bag, and showed her friends, who - she says - told her she must show it to a medical professional, because we'd just be *fascinated* to see such a large, unusual stool.
And then she opened the bag, and showed me her poo. Which filled it. It filled *the entire bag*.
**TL;DR: Full grown adult woman brought in a big bag of her poo because she thought I'd find it interesting.**.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
At least these days people can take a picture on their phone to show the Dr
cj be like 10 months ago
Well its probably good she was at a doctor, that doesn't seem normal even for constipation
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
OK, I'm a fan of single-payer "socialised" medicine as anyone practicing in a civilised health system but--man--sometimes I really want to push back against making access to medical practitioners free at the point of care! Hopefully this doctor was able to make good use of the various "opportunistic health interventions" that any good GP is trained to do (overdue health checks and screenings, healthy lifestyle promotion, medication reviews and education, etc.)
Some guy 10 months ago
Good thought, but it seems any conversation might have been problematic given the elephant in the room, so to speak.
Load More Replies... #56
Where the penis goes in the female reproductive system during sex.
I had to explain this to a first-year female medical student. So someone with presumably 4 years of a pre-med/biology education.
To her credit, she understood that the vagina was involved somehow. She just also thought the penis kept going through the cervix and uterus to the uterine tubes....and maybe further?
Debby Keir 10 months ago
One of my kids (then aged about 8) watched a documentary about conception with us, and it showed sperm under the microscope trying to implant into the egg. Discussed afterwards as to any questions but no, all good. Several months later, she asked - well if the dad stores all these sperm, it must be a huge 'container'. On further questioning, she hadn't realised that the sperm were seen under a microscope but were in fact rather small.
#57
During residency in an urban NE USA city, I was in clinic. A very pleasant 50s something lady came in for a physical. Everything was going fine when she casually asks if there are any new vaccines out. She was up to date with everything so I asked if she had any specific concerns. She was casually asking to see if she could vaccinate her gay adult son against homosexuality. Very nice, always had a smile on her face, even when I broke the "bad" news to her.
#58
Not a Doctor but when I was in Afghanistan a local man came up to us on patrol with his hand wrapped in a sheet. He was in visible pain and was asking for a doctor, so we got the medic to go see him and I helped unwrap his hand and it was just f*****g _huge._ He'd cut his hand very badly and, for whatever reason, kept it submerged in diesel for three days before seeking help. His hand appeared to have soaked up a s**t load of diesel, or it was just infected to f**k but it resembled a water balloon and lightly touching it caused it to p**s liquid. It was naaaasty.
Susical 10 months ago
I read of a woman who, in a very extreme circumstance, cleaned her leg wound with gasoline. But she only did it once. It's excruciating & does damage the tissue. (Her name was Juliane Koepcke, & Google her for an interesting survival story!)
Austzn 10 months ago
I used to be an auto mechanic and I've gotten gasoline on tiny cuts many times and it burns like fire! I can't imagine the pain of saturating an open wound with it.
Load More Replies... #59
Son of a physician here. Was told an interesting one a while back.
Basically, there were some patients who would have rings put around the top of the stomach in an attempt to make it so they couldn't eat as much food (they'd get sick if they had more than could pass through the ring, if I recall correctly). The idea was that this would help in reducing weight in patients who drastically needed it down so as to help with their health issues.
Well, some of them would learn that if you ate only a little over what the ring would allow at a time, you'd eventually be able to eat ridiculously large servings again. This was because the ring would stretch out over time.
You can imagine what the conversation between doctor and patient was like when the doctor found out what the patient had been doing.
Libstak 10 months ago
Its called lap band surgery and its not the rings that stretch its the newly resticted stomach.
Ace 10 months ago
Yes, and many such patients learn that it's quite easy to simply liquidise their food to be able to ingest more of it. I think it's less common than it used to be, but people with (over-)eating disorders used to seek out this surgery as an easy fix. It was never an easy fix.
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
This is why, my bariatric surgeon told me last year, their department stopped doing lapbands almost a decade ago.
detective miller's hat 10 months ago
I know 3 people who did that when they had their lap bands. All 3 of them have to permanently wear a bag to drain puss and other nasty stuff from their stomach because of the damage that caused.
#60
I saw a patient for a follow up after three ER visits in as many days for asthma. He was from another country, so this was the first time I ever met him. His lungs sound absolutely terrible, but he swears he is taking the inhaler every 2-4 hours with no relief. This raises suspicion to me, as the same meds are working in the ER. I ask him to show me how he is using it. He holds it about a foot away from his mouth and does two puffs like Binaca and swallows. I felt really bad, he had never received any education about his illness or medications.
Deborah 10 months ago
This is just sad. Didn't someone show him the correct way to use an inhaler when it was first prescribed?
Regina Holt 10 months ago
Years ago, can't remember when or why, after a period of time when my asthma was worse than usual, my allergist wanted me to show her how I use my inhaler. She said that it was excellent, and that I could teach other people proper usage. I didn't really think about it back then, but I guess she had dealt with someone like the person in this story.
Load More Replies... #61
I'm not a doctor, but my mom doesn't have a good grasp on the reproductive system so I had to be the one to explain that:
1. Getting my tubes removed did not remove my ability to get a period.
2. That we women have a urethra, a vagina, and an a**s--babies do not come from the urethra. This one was strange because she had me and my sister so...
3. That when you neuter a dog, you just remove the balls, not the red rocket too.
China/Taiwan's sex ed was severely.... lacking. So my mom, until she was in her 20s believed that if you sat on a seat still warm on the bus that a guy sat in before you, you can get pregnant. If you kissed a guy, you could get pregnant.
I'm still finding out, years later, misconceptions that my poor mother has about reproduction and explaining things to her.
Rose the Cook 10 months ago
My mother was of British decent , extreme religious upbringing, and she believed and tried to teach us that you got pregnant from toilet seats or touching anything that men had touched.
Original Kinkster 10 months ago
I mean, touching a penis can absolutely get you pregnant and chances are high that said penis was touched by a man before...
Load More Replies... justagirl 10 months ago
wait i'm confused like if you have your tubes removed, doesn't that cut off the ovum's route to the uterus? which means you can't get a period? someone set me straight, please.
ॐBoyGanesh 10 months ago
Your periods are based on the same hormones that cause ovulation. You still ovulate with tubal ligation. The route through the fallopian tubes is simply blocked. Your uterus doesn’t know this and responds to your ovulation as it did before the procedure. - https://www.todaysparent.com/family/womens-health/first-period-after-tubal-ligation/
Load More Replies... #62
EMT here, I had a grown adult try to explain to ME that someone else s**t his pants. Got toned out for finger pain at a homeless shelter at 0200, we get there and the guy jumps in the truck with very mild swelling to the tip of his right index finger. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: so what happened?
Patient: I smoked some meth and then I fell asleep in my bunk and I woke up next to my bunk and my finger hurt and there was poop!
Me: there was poop..? Did you fall in poop..?
Patient: no no, like in my pants!
Me: so... you pooped your pants?
Patient: no! It wasn't me!
Me: so let me get this straight... you smoked meth, took a nap, rolled out of bed in your sleep, hurt your finger, and someone ELSE came along and s**t in your pants before you woke up...?
Patient: yeah! It wasn't me!
The Other Guest 10 months ago
When my mom had severe dementia, she insisted it was the "poop fairies" who did it.
#63
One of my university tutors had to explain how sex worked to a married couple.
They had come into the clinic wondering why they hadn't fallen pregnant after like 12 months of marriage. The doctor asked the usual questions about menstruation, erections, etc, and the patients' responses were a bit weird. Finally she was like, "you are having vaginal sex, yeah?"
The couple were really confused. The doctor literally had to explain that one partner needs to put their penis in the other's vagina and ejaculate, in order to even try at getting pregnant. Apparently they were so shocked! They thought pregnancy just happened by itself after marriage.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
This is becoming a theme in this article. I wish I could say that surprised me.
H Daven 10 months ago
This is why abstinence only teaching in the States have the highest rates of teen pregnancy. You can't teach abstinence and not teach what causes pregnancy.
Load More Replies... #64
While in dental school my friend pulled out several bombed out (technical term) teeth on a adult male. After the procedure was finished and post-op instructions we given, the man asked, "So when should I expect my new teeth to grow in?" He was serious.
#65
My dad told me about an extremely religious male patient who was concerned about his nocturnal emissions. He saw it as a offense to God and wanted to know what he could do to stop it. My dad's response: "Well, It's gotta go somewhere guy".
geezeronthehill 10 months ago
A friend who was a catholic priest was told that nocturnal emissions were a sacrifice to the lord. That's weird theology, but slightly better than "an offense to god".
RajunCajun 10 months ago
OH my god..... I had to read all the comments to understand what this was about. I thought you were talking about farting in your sleep. I have never had the other that you are talking about (that I know of) now I feel left out.
H Daven 10 months ago
Hey bud, nocturnal emissions are normal. I don't want to burst your bubble, but spontaneous orgasms during dreams are normal for vagina owners too
Load More Replies... #66
I was working in GP and had a patient scheduled for an appointment. Looked through his notes to gain an idea of why he may be seeing me and saw he'd been seen a few times with knee pains/shoulder pains and the like. The guy is in his 70s so probably just arthritis. I'm thinking I'll do an examination of his sore joints and ask a few questions, prescribe some painkillers and it'll be a quick one.
Call him in and he walks in sits down and is cheery as anything.
"What seems to be the problem then, sir? I notice you've had some issues recently with sore joints" I ask.
He then proceeds to tell me about this sore knee. So I check his knee and take a history and it all seems fine. Ask anything else and he's like oh actually my neck is sore too. So I check his neck and nothing untoward to be found there either. At this point he's like ok well thanks doc I'll be off then.
I say to him oh good glad we could help. And you have no other pains at all before you go? He then sits back down and tells me he's been having central, crushing chest pain radiating down his left arm and into his jaw since last night and has been feeling breathless and when it happened he had an impending sense of doom.
I know a lot of you won't be doctors here but I'm sure you all recognise signs of an MI there. He had all the classic textbooks symptoms.
Called an ambulance and he was rushed to hospital for PCI. (Edit: Percutaneous coronary intervention - thread a catheter up the arteries into the coronary artery to find and then treat the blockage - sorry for the medical acronym haha)
Tl;Dr - man came in complaining of arthritis and when he was about to leave decided to tell me he'd had a heart attack the night before and thought nothing of it.
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
Now, THIS one is a tale as old as time. The variant is mentioning this at minute 17 of a 15-minute booking. "Why didn't you mention this earlier??" "Well because then you wouldn't take the time to fill in my [insert your choice of bureaucratic paperwork that needs a doctor's signature] form!"
Amanda the Panda 10 months ago
By OP’s telling, the patient didn’t come in complaining of arthritis. OP assumed what was wrong with the patient by reading the notes from his previous visit, and then steered the conversation that way. OP didn’t even ask the patient what was wrong until well into the consult! Also, the observation that “The guy is in his 70s so probably just arthritis. I'm thinking I'll do an examination of his sore joints and ask a few questions, prescribe some painkillers and it'll be a quick one” is quite a disturbing admission. Older/elderly patients deserve a better level of attention from their GP.
#67
Two stories, not about patients, but about the Drs lack of knowledge - both working in a western country.
I worked with a young female Dr from the middle east. One day on discussing homosexuality she said 'yeah but it's only been around for like the past 20-30 years though right?' Was absolutely gobsmacked!
Another conversation, older middle eastern (different country) male Dr. 'Being gay is a symptom of having been molested by another man'. Yeah. Wow.
Kenneth Barns 10 months ago
Direct her to all the homoerotic Sufi poetry from the medieval period.
Spidercat 10 months ago
I'll get shot down but the Middle East has some of the worst homophobia on the planet combined with a non questioning belief in their version of the god thing. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD BOYCOTT MIDDLE EASTERN SPORTS WASHING. Fücked up place for gays, women and basically anyone from Bangladesh hired to work there building stuff.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
...bjt only people who were molested in tge past 20-30 years turned gay, I guess :D (and we poor bi folks just don't exist. I'm a figment of my own imagination!)
RajunCajun 10 months ago
When I told my middle eastern DR I wanted to get some depression meds and the fighting with the wife all the time is killing me. He told me I needed to get a girl friend. That was the last time I saw him and to this day I have never told my now ex that still goes to see him.
Sparky Hughes 10 months ago
It’s sad, but males rape young boys (consensually or not) in the Middle East a lot. It’s okay to show affection to men in public as well. I see to go to Egypt and it wasn’t odd to see two men walking down the street holding hands with the wife of one them would be behind them. I asked my friend and he said it’s common.
Broad Panda 10 months ago
How are these things related? Men holding hands isn't a big deal in lots of countries. And Egypt isn't in the Middle East
Load More Replies... #68
My mom lost her s**t when she found out my grandma didn't change her needle between blood sugar tests. My mom lectured her, I lectured her, and she still wont change it. It's like two years old. Grandma's gonna die of an infection one day but that's her problem. Also she had a friend who didn't know how to use the needle right, so instead of poking herself with it, she'd scratch her skin till she bled. I cringed when I heard that.
Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
I got my first real diabetes needle/oh, down at the five and dime/scratched until my fingers bled/and my sugar was 69
#69
I had a patient *drive himself* to the neurology clinic who ended up being completely deaf, cortically blind in half his visual field, and demented to the point where he didn't know what decade it was.
Kelly Scott 10 months ago
No. He probably lives in the US and wanted to avoid an ambulance bill. I can't say that I blame him a bit.
Load More Replies... #70
My uncle told about a patient who thought he had Ebola because he was in the same Que as a coughing black guy. :/.
#71
Not a doctor, but a nursing student. I was checking the carseat and walking a postpartum mom out of the hospital. Mind you, this was her fifth child. Five. She had raised 4 other children to adolescence. But for this one, on the way outside, she took a blanket and tucked it around the baby's head and face, nice and taut.
The Other Guest 10 months ago
"Nice and taut" is a really, really good way to smother the baby.
Load More Replies... #72
This one is a little different.
My dad is a pediatrician. He told me the story of a teenage boy (around 13 y/o) who was referred to him (something unrelated, can't remember what). When he asked him if he was on medications, the boy's mom pulled out some birth control pills. Apparently his family physician suggested birth control as a way to treat his acne.
Yes, you read that correctly. A licensed doctor told a teenage BOY that was just going through puberty to take female hormones as acne treatment.
I think he had been taking them regularly for the past year...
Kirsten Kerkhof 10 months ago
Not as strange as it may seem > I take birth control pills for excessive bleeding, but they are specifically meant to cure acne. It even says so on the box. I always wondered how many boys/young men are actually prescribed these pills for actual acne.
Jesse 10 months ago
Can attest to that. I've been taking the pill for two months now and my face cleared up considerably. Not having to deal with periods is also a bonus.
Load More Replies... Original Kinkster 10 months ago
There was a scandal some years ago in France as it turned out that a medicament against acne that was described as birth control for decades has severe side effects. So I'd believe that this boy got this medicine prescribed for the effect it was once introduced.
#73
Christ, the number of times I have to explain colds to adults. You're 40 years old, you've probably had 100 of these, how have you not figured this out yet?? Do you come to the doctor every time??? Antibiotics won't help, drink fluids, sudafed, and write this s**t down for next time.
Debby Keir 10 months ago
If you treat a cold it will only last a week, but if you don't treat it, sadly it lasts 7 days.
Kelly Scott 10 months ago
If I could take time off work for a cold, it lasted 4 days. If I had to work while I had a cold, it lasted at least a week or longer.
Load More Replies... Libstak 10 months ago
Colds can often cause throat infections due to the rough coughing causing scarring which any number of microbes then take advantage of. Additionally, throat and nasal infections can present with the same symptoms as a cold or flu. I have had throat infections at least half the number of times i have had cold symptoms in my life.
Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
And real Sudafed is OTC or prescription now. Lots of pharmacies don’t bother to carry it anymore
Load More Replies... BookFanatic 10 months ago
Funny. I never go to the doc for a cold, and when I mentioned this in passing during a visit for something entirely unrelated he was horrified. Like, what was I thinking...just suffering on my own like that?! Dude, it's a cold. It's not Ebola.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Unless your snot turns green, then you've got a bacterial infection that can be treated
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Gary Geracci 10 months ago
Had a weird burning when Peeing. Learned I had a UTI that affected a Kidney and was going septic! Whatta wake up call! I just thought I had accidentally gotten soap up you know where. Don't ignore the symptoms see a doctor anyway!
Lsai Aeon 10 months ago
Diabetic here, I argued with my doctors for YEARS. My diet isn't an issue, I can't cut carbs any more than I already have, I only have one real Dr Pepper then water the rest of the day, you need to be checking other reasons. 8 years later they finally listen while trying to figure out why my pancreas is suddenly not working. LADA https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/type-1-diabetes/expert-answers/lada-diabetes/faq-20057880
highwaycrossingfrog 10 months ago
Pretty sure NO-ONE should be drinking caffeinated, sugar-filled soda every day, let alone a diabetic
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Gary Geracci 10 months ago
Had a weird burning when Peeing. Learned I had a UTI that affected a Kidney and was going septic! Whatta wake up call! I just thought I had accidentally gotten soap up you know where. Don't ignore the symptoms see a doctor anyway!
Lsai Aeon 10 months ago
Diabetic here, I argued with my doctors for YEARS. My diet isn't an issue, I can't cut carbs any more than I already have, I only have one real Dr Pepper then water the rest of the day, you need to be checking other reasons. 8 years later they finally listen while trying to figure out why my pancreas is suddenly not working. LADA https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/type-1-diabetes/expert-answers/lada-diabetes/faq-20057880
highwaycrossingfrog 10 months ago
Pretty sure NO-ONE should be drinking caffeinated, sugar-filled soda every day, let alone a diabetic
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