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Marriage is hard work; even the happiest couples face bumps along the way.
For those who ultimately decide that splitting up is the healthier alternative, the realization can come in a variety of ways. For some, it's a lightbulb moment when everything clicks in a second, while others need to think over the decision for much longer.
So when Redditor u/Slayer_of_Gingers asked men, "What moment with your former wife made me think 'Yup, I'm asking this girl to divorce me?'" they got plenty of different answers, providing interesting insights into navigating a romantic relationship.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Me and my ex were always having ups and downs. Cutting up my clothes when I was out with friends, cutting my hair when I was asleep, random violence and screaming fits... the usual...
We did the normal things couples were supposed to do and it seemed to prolong the episode for a time.
We bought a house for example.
Well, after we had the house the next thing we needed was a cat.
She loved it very much when it was a kitten but as it grew up it became more independent (it's a cat duh!) and she couldn't take this and became aggressive towards it.
I remember walking in one day and she picked up the cat and threw it up in the air, it bounced off of the ceiling and then I threw her a*s out of the house bouncing her sh*t of the curb.
I still have the cat.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
that may be one of the best expressions I've heard in a long time!
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Paula Marowsky 3 years ago
Please someone tells OP cutting of clothes and hair is not something normal couples usually do!!
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
Can we start with the fact that that entire first paragraph is describing an abusive partner? Men need to be taught to recognise red flags as much as women do.
Seabeast 3 years ago
Makes you wonder what his parent's marriage was like, that he didn't end the relationship the first time she cut up his clothes or his hair.
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Maura Hayskar 3 years ago
She sounds like there is some psychological issues.. real mental health problems that need to be addressed. Not by your, too made the right move.
Jaaawn 3 years ago
Maybe not. It isn't always mental health issues...some people are just plain evil.
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Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
Random violence and cutting your stuff is NOT usual ups and downs
ERIKA H. 3 years ago
Cutting your hair and clothes? That is abuse! Dude, you're lucky you weren't murdered!
RELATED:
#2
Her: "I can't live in this house anymore. It's not in a major city."
Me: "We're less than an hour away from one. Also, I inherited this house. It costs me nothing but upkeep. Also, I pay every bill. You work 6 hours a week and have 1 class. Where do you get off demanding anything?"
Her: "Buy me a new house or we're done."
Me: "Get the f*ck out of my house."
Otter 3 years ago
If anyone EVER says "Where do you get off demanding anything" for any reason, the marriage is already over.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Yes...When it's at that point, reasonable discourse has already been abandoned and nothing gets truly solved. And how many people out there, when given a demand like that, are going to dig in their heels and do whatever they to NOT comply?
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Doug 3 years ago
Sounds like both of these are a bit rotten. Pulling the "I pay for everything" card doesn't mean you get to dictate how life goes.
Joe Edwards 3 years ago
So her not paying anything and not contributing anything but whining and bitching means she should have the say? F**k that s**t
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René Studer 3 years ago
Note that she said „buy ME a new house“ so she’s not really helping either.
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Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
Does sound like there was any love between them at all, from either side. Why marry?
LazyPanda 3 years ago
As with most failed marraiges, there was love at some point. Or they got married based off feelings alone, which does not equal love. It's cliche but love is a verb, what you do and show. Not just what you feel.
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#3
She had lost her job, again, after quitting a decent one because she didn't get along with her boss. Anyways, a few months go by and I'm doing everything. Cooking, laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. I'd ask the kids what does mom do all day and they said she plays on the computer all day. So the final straw came when i came home from work and had to wash dishes so i could make dinner. Dinner is made so i tell family it's ready. She comes to get a plate and serves herself first instead of our youngest child who was four at the time and couldn't serve himself. As i watched this unfold it dawned on me. If I'm going to do all the work i might as well do it by myself or find a partner to share the load with because she clearly didn't want to be on my team.
Ell Torn 3 years ago
As someone that has had a couple of bouts of unemployment over the last couple of years, if my wife is at work and I'm not employed... I do all the chores, all the cooking and anything else that makes her life easier. It's only fair. Back to work, back to splitting the household chores.
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Hańka 3 years ago
I don't want to make excuses for her, but you also have to consider that she may have been depressed...
Flying Captain 3 years ago
I also thought of depression right away. To be honest it was my first thought. Not getting along with boss is way harder on your mental health than a boss who doesn't get along with employee.
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Atero 3 years ago
Ok, this will definitely be downvoted but do anyone else thinks what she resembles typical depression signs (apathy, inability to function in society, mood swings, etc)? The events mentioned here seem of someone with mild mental issues like depression which can happen to anyone and require lots of support from primarily closest ppl... And here he is - running away leaving her to her problems. Sorry, but I don't think what this guy is a hero here.
Rachel 3 years ago
Lol curable... It's treatable, but there is no cure for clinical depression.
Load More Replies... Lilith the Demon Panda 3 years ago
I wish more women find this a reason for a divorce when the roles are reversed
Gerard Neaux 3 years ago (edited)
Exactly, Bored Panda is full of social issues cases where he doesn't do anything all day and then it all comes to head when he throws a fit of entitlement "why didn't you pack my bags while I was busy gaming", and she goes online to ask AITA.
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third molar 3 years ago
This is interesting. While this is bad, its also interesting to note some Husbands were doing this for centuries without anyone complaining much.
#4
When the cops showed up and arrested me while I was washing dishes. Found out after being taken to the station that she had claimed that I had been beating on her and my five year old son. Was acquitted in court a month or so later. The situation was so messed up that the cops actually testified on my behalf.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Some women are so mean and falsely accusing their husbands makes it harder for women to be believed when it actually does happen.
Daria B 3 years ago
True. And that's one more, and amongst the most important reasons why we should always remember not to generalise, and always take an individualistic approach.
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Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
If a woman tells the cops her partner beats her, he goes straight to jail. If it's the other way around, the cops ask him what he did to provoke her.
V Martinez 3 years ago
That or they joke on him for "letting" a woman hit them. And many times they still have the man leave the home for the night and the female gets to stay.
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Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
There seriously needs to be new laws regarding false accusations, they risk innocent people being punished for nothing and even if they get found not guilty people still believe you must have done whatever you were accused off.
Egni Navpmac 3 years ago (edited)
These women should get the jail time and fines the 'perpetrator' would have gotten. Same with proven false claims of rape / assault etc.
Katinka Min 3 years ago
I loathe women who do that. I know who guy whose ex tried to get sole custody with that. There are so many women in abusive realtionsships who need support and help and these c*nts are just destroying their credibility with lies like that.
#5
I was on deployment and she yelled at me for interrupting her family's celebration when I called on Christmas.
Kona Pake 3 years ago
Careful, a lot of people don’t understand tongue-in-cheek humor.
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deanna woods 3 years ago
Husband: I am calling to let you know that I am still alive while fighting in a war. Wife: How dare you interrupt my family time with your being alive.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
His call should’ve been at least ONE of the highlights of her family’s celebration, ffs. If he’s deployed into an active combat zone, it’s to like he can reliably schedule a call, so has to take his opportunities as they arise—-and when you have a loved one in the military who’s in that same situation, even if they wake you up in the middle of the night, depending on time zones, you wake your ass up and talk to them!!! Because you never know. Know what I mean?
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
My reply? I'll be returning from deployment at some point, but I sure as hell won't be coming home. If you two were living on base, she needs to get her stuff and get out.
GoddessOdd 3 years ago
I would have had to answer with "it's OK. I'll never bother (with) you again.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
She'd probably cheated on you by then as well. Happens a lot of people on deployment.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
Did she think you were a telemarketer or something? Yikes. Some people need to chill about phone calls. Your dinner isn't going to become an ice cube if you answer the phone for a moment.
Comfy Panda 3 years ago
I was formerly military and this just goes ALL THE F**K OVER ME.
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Annie Bennett 1 year ago
I would be so happy to hear from my husband or boyfriend if he was away I would just go to another room and talk then get back to the family. What a jerk. you did the right thing.
#6
When she said, "You didn't pray hard enough and that's why our son has cancer. That's why I'm sleeping with my prayer partner."
Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
Oh good god! Christian my ass. She was on her knees for a different reason.
Viviane 3 years ago
Looks like the prayer partner's prayers worked and now they and the wife are saying "Ooooh God!" together.
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Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Kinda funny as adultery is a big no no in the bible. Fundamentalists always love to pick тв choose which bits to follow
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Pick and choose what suits you and disregard the rest.
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Your son has cancer b/c of your adultery. There, that's just as logical. Which is to say, it's not.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Wow. Deeply religious and at the same time, breaking the sanctity of her marriage. SMH.
#7
We were already not speaking. It was Thanksgiving. I knew she wasn't going to bother, but I made a turkey and whatever goes with turkey for my then eight year old daughter. I had the turkey out on the counter to rest after roasting. My beloved bride walked in, calmly threw the turkey in the kitchen trash can, and walked out. I had to take my kid to f*cking golden corral for Thanksgiving. That was it. I was done.
Charlotte A. 3 years ago (edited)
He said, his daughter. She was probably the step mom... (Still awful and really immature behaviour, though.)
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Candy corn 3 years ago
This post makes me unspeakably mad. More mad than any other post. Just….the hard work ruined, the waste, the complete pettiness at someone else’s expense, and the fact that some dumbass probably drove my Golden Corral that day and thought “damn it’s sad that some people are too lazy to make thanksgiving dinner”
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 3 years ago
I know, it just makes me sad tbh. Like he spent all that work, just for it to be ruined. And he made it for his DAUGHTER. Not even for himself. For. His. CHILD.
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rumade 3 years ago
I wouldn't have wasted that turkey; rinse it and pop it back in the oven. Plus he had all the sides with it. Why would you go to a mediocre restaurant instead of just making dinner out of sides?
CLG 3 years ago
I was gonna say, unless she took it out to a dumpster on the street, I'd probably have worked with the turkey. 10 second rule!
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Rannveig Ess 3 years ago
I hope --- somehow that dinner at the Golden Corral was made to be one of the most fun, happy. "dinner with my daddy" times.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
And it can be. I used to go with 2 roommates to Denny's in Scottsdale for Thanksgiving. We were all in recovery and so couldn't drink. There was a mean 8,000 year old waitress that worked holidays. We would ask for her section. It was great. BONUS: you could still smoke in restaurants back then (and we did).
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Alma Muminovic 3 years ago
But why? That’s just a waste and so unnecessary.. why did she throw it out?
#8
She said these words, "You need to take a shower before you get into bed, you've been playing basketball with all those black guys." She was always mean to waitresses, flight attendants, maids, thinking she was better than them. Now black people? F*ck that. Im out.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
I'm annoyed by it because one of my best friends is named Karen. She's very far from the term it now means.
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E Menendez 3 years ago
Yes. I always make my husband shower after he plays sports or martial arts because he gets nasty and sweaty. But for her she was just a racist b
Load More Replies... jammer 3 years ago
Yes yes, good on you, but dude, no matter who you play basketball with, get a damn shower before going to bed!
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
I just came here to say the same! You need to take a shower after playing basketball. With or without dudes. You're probably sweaty...
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LadyDelynn 3 years ago
There is nothing wrong with the statement "You need to take a shower before you get into bed, you've been playing basketball". That's just a given BUT when she tacked on those last two words she showed her 'true colors'.
Paula Marowsky 3 years ago
Wait! You were going to bed without taking a shower after playing basketball??? Please, don't do that!
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Yes you should shower before bed if you've been doing something physical like that. For people who ask why he didn't see that side of her before they got married, I've known people who didn't show their real sides till they felt secure enough to do so. Regardless of what their real side is.
#9
Besides the narcissism, random violence and violent outbursts, it was her strange punishments. Her last one doomed her. My crime? I forgot milk on the way home from work so she didn't talk to me, not one word, for a week. PURE BLISS, for a week. When she asked if I was ready to apologize I handed her the divorce papers. "Why?" "Because you rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship."
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Oh boy, this is just so weird. "... if I was ready to apologize". As if he's a 5 yo instead of a grown man.
Pittsburgh rare 3 years ago
That's narcissism in a nutshell. If you ever find someone who gives the silent treatment as a punishment or expects an apology for everything, RUN
Load More Replies... Alexia 3 years ago
"You rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship." - that's brilliant!
Aamna Shah 3 years ago
That's exactly what I was thinking. Such a simple yet profound statement.
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Radek Suski 3 years ago
Because you rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship I love it
Joe Reaves 3 years ago
uh, 'punishments', WTF? You're both adults you don't get to punish one another (unless you're both into that kind of thing and have agreed safe limits and safewords of course)
Dre Mosley 3 years ago (edited)
With Narcissists, they are always the wronged party who deserves and apology.
Lana Cat 3 years ago
She could go out and get some milk herself once she realised you forgot. No big deal and FFS keep some longer life milk on hand for such occasions, or powdered milk.
Random Panda 3 years ago
Right?! I have an emergency carton of the shelf stable kind in my pantry right now because life happens and sometimes people forget to stop for milk. BFD.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
Punishing someone, let an adult, over something so ridiculous just shows that you are not well.
Xan Maranya 3 years ago (edited)
Clearly not the real issue... like most ridiculous arguments.
Ethan Hunt 3 years ago
"Because you rob me of solitude but provide me with no companionship." Wow, that is a brilliant response.
#10
I always refused to raise my voice during arguments, which usually made her crazier and scream louder. After one such argument, during which our 3 year old daughter was playing upstairs, she started coming down at the same time her mother was storming up the stairs like a child of comparable age. Our daughter was in the way and her mother got in her face and screamed "GOD, I F*CKING HATE YOU, MOVE!" Of course, my daughter came to me, hurt. That was the moment I decided it was over.
Tee Witt 3 years ago
From what I have read so far I hope very few of these leave their children behind.
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Lisa Whipp Myhre 3 years ago
My then husband yelled in my 4 year olds face and that was it for me as well. You just don't do that.
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
My sister is four years old. When she sees me in the mornings, she gives me a hug and tells me how happy she is that I'm alive, since I have a lot of mental health issues and sometimes wish I wasn't. (She picked it up from my mother, who has me come out of my room to prove to her that I'm alive and to give her hugs XD). She may be extremely annoying the rest of the time, but yelling at her like that is out of the question. No 3 or 4 year old can actually control their actions, they're not old enough. That's unacceptable.
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
Exactly - while I don't see them very often, my cousin's daughters (who are around 8-10) are genuinely quite caring towards me, and can often pick up on when I'm not feeling too well, and even though they can be a little annoying/loud sometimes I'd never consider shouting at them like that. I'm admittedly not a big fan of children, but I'll still be nice (or at least decent) to them.
Load More Replies... MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
Narc rage is frightening. I hope you have full custody of your daughter.
debrina blackmoon 3 years ago
D':< I just DO NOT have sufficient words!!!!! This reminds me of things....can't.
Tobias the Tiger 3 years ago
This brought back some unpleasant memories of my stepmom doing this same sort of thing... she still does, in fact. The cat recently went outside and I was going to go help find him, and she instead rudely screamed at me and slammed the door and then got pissed because I wasn't helping. How I wish my dad and her would take the advice of my stepbrother and just break up already since they clearly hate each other so much.
#11
When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my "inappropriate conduct" around our kids.
Thank God he saw right through that bullsh*t immediately and told her to knock it off.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
B!tch. I had a friend who divorced bc of something like this. It was very sad to see him go through this. I couldn't do a single thing to help but just be there for him when he needed a shoulder.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Sometimes just being supportive is the most important thing of all
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ZAPanda 3 years ago
this is awful because certainly here the assumption is the man is a pedo. Friend of mine had this happen to him, lost custody, even though he's the most harmless character. She unfortunately (?) died. Now the kid lives with in-laws instead of her dad.
Aaricia 3 years ago
This is why gender roles are such BS. Just because a person with a womb birthed the kid doesn't mean they can take of them.
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Littlebunnyfufu 3 years ago
This is what fathers are supposed to do. This is so confusing. Mom/ex-wife may need some therapy if she's seeing this as abuse. It's sad all around.
Lola 3 years ago
I knew a guy who killed himself because his ex wife wrongfully accused him of sexually molesting their daughter. He was the nicest guy and couldn’t live with that. She later admitted she made it up to get sole custody because she was jealous of his new relationship.
Saeyoul Akiyune 1 week ago
That's so horrible and so wrong! Did she go to jail or receive any consequences?? 🤬🤬
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
There's a picture of me when I was like two or three and I am laying on my dad's big belly. We are both asleep. If my parents had gone through counseling, there is no way in hell that my mother would have used that picture against my father.
Springy The Non Binary Demon(They/Them) 3 years ago
Awwwww cute and I love my dad so much I call him darth father because he's my dad I call my mom mothra.
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DandiPandi 3 years ago
So being a caring dad is inappropriate behaviour?? Clearly she has deeper psychological issues
Isaac Harvey 3 years ago
Are fathers expected to not love their sons/daughters as much as or more than their wives?
Tom De Paul 5 months ago
Imagine being jealous of a four year old over your husband's affections. Major level crazy.
#12
When I came to the sad realization that we were just good roommates and had been like that for years.
We have been divorced for almost 10 years and she is one of my favorite people in the world, we just weren't supposed to be married.
katrina hunt 3 years ago
This is my situation. I have two kids with this “roommate” and am 4 weeks away from having the one I found out about right after we separated. Wouldn’t change it for anything even though it didn’t work after 8 years.
Tami 3 years ago
Glad you and your "roomate" are civil with each other. Things can get especially ugly when kids are involved.
Load More Replies... Daria B 3 years ago
I like it how this one has no hard feelings, nobody is the villain of the story. Sometimes we just confuse the chemistry, and it's respectable when people can recognise that, and solve the situation rationally and reasonably.
Maura Hayskar 3 years ago
I am going to borrow that because it so perfect and true. Confuse the chemistry!!
Load More Replies... Alexis Draskinis 3 years ago
This was kind of my parents. They married to essentially get out of their parent's houses. My dad had trouble adjusting to homeowner, parent, spouse, etc all within a few yrs & started drinking more. So they argued more, etc. They divorced when we were 3 & 7. It was strained for a bit as they both remarried & now had to figure out how new spouses fit in to every thing but they made it through. After my mom divorced my step dad, 20yrs later, he became a really close friend to her. When she passed away a few yrs ago, he came to hospice to support us kids but mom was so happy to see before she went. Never saw my dad cry before that, but he cried when she died & said how he lost a close friend he'd known since they were stupid kids who thought they were ready to be adults
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Absolutely nothing wrong with such an amicable divorce. I wish it happened more often.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
As it should be, just because you're not in love with someone doesn't mean you can't love them as a person/parent of your kids!
John Montgomery 3 years ago
This is going to sound stupid, but I don't understand this. Were they still getting along but not doing anything together? I am glad it ended amicably, but if they didn't have any hard feelings why end it?
Tom De Paul 5 months ago
Because friendships require different skills to maintain than marriage, although because they can overlap some people can confuse the two. Especially if they had poor role models growing up (or different motives for marriage).
Load More Replies... #13
She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls' night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can't). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff's notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
And kids don't understand why they need to take math in school. You never know when it might come in handy.
Kyle Hendricks 3 years ago
Is marriage really so sad that you have such little sex your husban can use that info to figure you're cheating?
WISNU W 1 year ago
The husband has no sex, the wife had frequently with her boss. So she forgot she never had it with her own husband. Hahahaha
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Lillukka79 3 years ago
Yes, because alcohol is the only thing you can drink at a bar...
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#14
My wife was around less & less...had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time.....just tell her I'm working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn't mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask "what's her excuse this time?" That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Yeah, the “free to live [your] life” stuff is what you do before marriage, not after.
K Witmer 3 years ago
No one should ever have kids bc of pressure or societal norms or forced birthers this is the result. Some woman hate motherhood. I saw a study people did on divorced mothers and most mothers are happiest when they don't get sole or primary custody. I know that sounds weird but it was a decades long study. Feel free to google it. It all makes sense when you see the reasoning.
Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
I don't doubt that study for a second. It's hard enough looking after kids when your other half is there, let alone doing it by yourself.
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Kishibe Angelo 3 years ago
if a little girl says whats the exuce this time then that is when enough is enough you did the right thing
Jackie Nettleton 3 years ago
No child should ever feel that way, I’m glad he divorced such a cruel woman
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Poor kid. My daughter had the same thing happen with her sperm doner. He is now on supervised visits and I have soul custody.
#15
I used to love to do chores for her because she loved being taken care of. When she stopped noticing, it started hurting. Then one day I made a bench for our entryway out of barnwood. Took about 40 hours of work. She walked in the house after work that day and sat her purse on it and proceeded to start the fight where she told me that she was mad she got married to me. She stormed out of the house grabbing her purse. Never noticed the bench was there. I knew then but I think she already knew.
Mary Jaye 3 years ago
all black cats are perfect. so exotic looking. I always get a black cat!
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
Loved being taken care of? If someone starts out with feeding that expectation (that's all it ever was) by doing that very thing, be prepared to be doing it for the rest of your life. "Taking care of" works both ways when needed. Red flag when it's only a one way street.
Khaos Childe 3 years ago
He sounds like a daddy to me (though IIdont know much about it). He just ended up with someone who didnt need or appreciate being taken care of. She was probably a user that just took and got used to taking until it was no longer satisfying.
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Lousha 3 years ago
My partner does a lot around the house. The things that are usually attributed to be "men's jobs" like lifting heavy stuff or doing a bit gross jobs he would never let me do. But he also hoovers, washes dishes, does laundry etc. He does it because A, he likes a clean house and I'm a bit of a pig B, he knows that it can be a real chore for me to do everything alone. I can agonize about having to do something longer than it would take to actually do it. I can also get very much obsessed with stuff like figuring out a knitting pattern and I'd do that for days without stopping for doing the dishes or anything like that. He never said one bad word about it, just goes and does it if he can't look at the mess any more. I don't think I'd ever not notice how great he is.
Evan Martin 3 years ago
If your intention behind doing something nice is to get "credit" for it, you have the wrong motivation...just sayin.
clairebear 8 months ago (edited)
Erm most women get treated like this by their husbands. How many men thank their wives for doing all the chores. Also Sounds like the 'chores' were doing stuff he liked, like making a bench.
maaike martens 1 year ago
doing chores fer her? It's your house too, she doesn't have to "good boy" you, for doing your part of the household....
#16
We met and spent the first seven years of our married life on the West Coast, then moved East. Five years later, I took a job back on the West Coast, but it was the middle of the school year, so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me.
Things hadn't been very good between us for a while, but I hadn't articulated it to her—or even myself—beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction.
One weekend, out there on my own, I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns, a town in which I had lived long before I knew her, a town we had visited often while married. It was late afternoon was about to head back to my hotel when I realized that I could visit a particular beach that had special meaning to me from my earlier life there.
I stopped at a convenience store, grabbed a Grolsch like I used to drink on that beach, and drove out there. Hiked out to a specific spot I remembered, sat down, popped the beer, and looked out over the ocean. And it hit me that I hadn't done that in over 20 years. Whenever we'd visit the area, I'd suggest stopping at the beach, but she wasn't interested and would always veto the idea.
I'm sure reading this it seems like the tiniest thing, but it was the catalyst for me realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship. I think from the time I sat down, I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes. Just sitting there, sipping my beer, looking at the ocean.
Deanna Crichley 3 years ago
Now, I really don't enjoy the beach, but I could suck it up if it would bring my partner pleasure to be there. In fact, I WANT my partner to feel content. To experience pleasure. My guy plays the drums. It's annoying af but he loves it. I move two floors up and turn the TV up LOUD. No way would I stop his happiness. There are things that make us whole, and in a loving relationship you don't stop the other from having those things.
AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
This is why I adore my husband. He is the woodsy person. Loves to hunt and camp and play in the mud. I do these things too because HE enjoys them. Don't get me wrong, I love the forest, but my zen...my love is the ocean. Always has been. And that man HATES beaches but guess what? He goes every single time with me. He sits there and watches the sunset with me. We get ice cream and coffee and we have a great time. He tells me all the time, I may not like the beach, but I Love you and you love it, so therefore I love going. That is what relationships are about.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Could be. Still, if love is lost then an amicable divorce is better than staying with someone you don't love anymore.
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rumade 3 years ago
The small things matter so much. I lived in a Welsh village near the sea and didn't have a car so it was hard to get to the beach. Whenever it was hot, my boyfriend would say "let's go swimming", but he would always get his choice of swimming in the mountain river instead of my choice of the beach. I loved the river too, but just once it would have been nice to have the other option. He just always said no, even though it was closer and less driving.
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
The ocean/sea is always a good adviser for me. I love going to the beach to clear my head when I need to make a decision.
#17
When my 2 year old was learning to talk he would consistently say another blokes name. Apparently he was there the moment i left for work till when i got home. Single Dad for 5 years with primary custody now.
Allan Breum 3 years ago
The worst part is; He probably can't even be sure the kid is biologically his, unless he got a DNA test. The other dude could very likely be the biological father.
Bob Standen 3 years ago
My x-wife would have her younger brothers friends around while I worked 2 jobs to pay the bills. As they were much younger than her I never thought that their was anything going on behind my back. Then after 18 months one of the guys has a spin out mentally and is put into an open phyco ward. I went to visit him and he acted crazy. He couldn't hide the guilt that was eating him out. She's dead now.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
I'm afraid to ask how or who killed her. This was a unexpected end.
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Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
3 things never lie: small children, drunk people, and yoga pants. Thank goodness you had at least one of those to help you find the truth.
Patrick Wilson 3 years ago
Same. Except, it was my wife's Mother and Father who told me I needed to "get a handle on my wife".
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
They knew her long before you did. But they are also responsible for rearing her . . . .
Load More Replies... #18
When I, as the only earner in the house, was denied buying a new pair of work boots- in december- because she needed the money to "buy vaccines for the puppies".
She bred dogs as a hobby, I was a framing carpenter in Ohio. My current work boots were toast- holes in both, no soles. I needed them. Her "puppy vaccine" story was bullsh*t- her hobby was dogs, but she was a pro at popping pills. Thats what she needed the money for.
I was done with her by March.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
I hope he got custody of them. I wouldn’t trust someone who popped pills (though he didn’t say what kind, it’s still a problem) with the care and feeding of animals.
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Tom De Paul 5 months ago
A surprising number of men hand their paychecks to their wives who then pay the bills and dole out $ for wants/needs/incidentals.
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I hope you got "custody" of the puppies and found them good homes. And you keep one for yourself. They may chew your boots at first, but at least you get to buy new ones.
K Witmer 3 years ago
Addiction is a disease and it ruins lives of not just the addict. They have to hit rock bottom in order to get help or they end up in prison or dead. I watched my little brother ruin everything good he ever had. He got addicted to opioids when he was 15 and graduated to heroin. It's insidious. He had a different mom than me and she's an alcoholic addiction runs in his genes plus watching his alcoholic mother didn't help. He passed away in October bc he couldn't get the treatment he needed due to anti vaxxers taking over the hospital he went to. He had such a kind heart too. He was only 38. He was my only sibling and I miss him. I hope this woman gets help if not for herself than her animals.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 3 years ago
I’m sorry that happened to you. I know that as a stranger on the internet, there’s nothing that I can really do to help, but I am sorry that it happened
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deanna woods 3 years ago
My dad would wear all his clothes and shoes until there was nothing left if my mom didn't buy him new stuff.
#19
When we went on a family vacation and I hoped she'd sleep the entire time so I could have fun with our son.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
I'd need a lot more information than this one sentence before I'd give an opinion.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
Followed by you getting to have fun with him all the time because you have major custody.
#20
Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife's Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300). Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts. Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked "did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?" At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.
Zoe's Mom 3 years ago
3 years?! Never again would I ask for anything besides a hug and kiss.
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Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
This is just insane and shows how short sighted and materialistic this person really is.
Allan Breum 3 years ago
If a dude paid off my dept like that, yeah, he is getting head... and I'm not even gay.
Suleiman Ahmad 3 years ago
This made me laugh so hard 😂. I'd definitely give head too 😂
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Josy Bannon 3 years ago
Its sad that she could not appreciate this. It was his money and he could have bought himself a car or whatever like most people would, but decided to do this selfless kind gesture instead.
#21
During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn't. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I'm happily divorced.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I'm not ALLOWED to? Them's walkin' away words right that very minute.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
More men need to find the courage to talk about being physically and mentally abused by their partners. It's very real, very damaging, and very under-reported. I'm glad this man was able find a better life for himself.
Isaac Harvey 3 years ago
It goes two ways. Yes, men shouldn’t be afraid to talk about their emotions, but also other people shouldn’t just brush them off with some variation of “just deal with it.”
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#22
I endured a physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive relationship for over six years with my first wife, four of which we were married. There were many, many instances that should have caused our marriage's demise. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, though, was eight days after I had major oral surgery. Due to a freak medical occurrence, I had to have 28 teeth cut out and two holes drilled into my sinus cavities from top of the back of my gums. She and I were in a grocery store parking lot, and I asked her not to start an argument in the store because it's a small town and I was so tired of being 'those people'. Her reaction was to backhand me in the mouth. Six times. Or at least I counted six times because I'm pretty damn sure I lost consciousness. I just remember waking up when we were pulling into our driveway while she's freaking out because my face is against the window and blood is coming from my mouth like a fountain.
Anna Nilsson 3 years ago
Agree! Save maybe an other man and put her behind bars.
Load More Replies... MoodyBlue 3 years ago
I went to look for more about this story. The ex was bipolar and not taking her meds. OP had to get his mouth sewed again after the injury. The OP is now happily married to another woman and has kids.
Allan Breum 3 years ago
Bipolar doesn't make you violent or abusive. She was just a c**t, pure and simple.
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Sarah Bell 3 years ago
Please tell me you called police, pressed charges, and ran away from them. I hope tmyou didn't have any kids with her or you have fill custody
Sarah Bell 3 years ago
I can't text * I hope that you didn't have any kids with her Ior you have full custody.
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago (edited)
I've had major oral surgery where the bones in my jaw had to be broken and pieced back together, I hurt for months, I went out of my way to avoid anything touching my face. I cannot even imagine the pain that you must have gone through and I'm so incredibly sorry. I hope you pressed charges.
Jeff Striks 3 years ago
Never say "Don't start an argument" unless you want to start an argument. If it happens, subtly tart recording on your phone and politely ask "Can we talk about this later when we're not in public?" and record the abusive backlash for court
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
I believe there's more to this that lead up to him telling her not to start an argument. It's not his fault. And she beat him up for it. Doesn't matter how he should tell her to wait.
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#23
When she decided our dog was annoying her and sold him on Craigslist (which she then used the money to buy herself a non refundable purse) instead of making any mention of her feelings so we could come up with a solution.
Crazy Dog Lady 3 years ago
She's lucky all you did was divorce her. I don't think I could control my actions if someone did that to me
Otter 3 years ago
I'd have done my damndest to get her arrested and jailed.
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Alexia 3 years ago
A former boyfriend threatened to throw my parrot out the window (it was a sweet, little budgie) because the bird was very attached to me and would chirp every morning. It was just a threat, but it was enough. No matter how bad are things between us... Stay. Away. From. My. Pet. Or else I can make your life a living hell too. Just try me.
Aaricia 3 years ago
I have budgies myself, if someone said that I would be so mad I'd drag them out that very moment with all the adrenaline I've got.
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I'd find who bought the dog, explain what happened and if I had to, pay anything to get them back. Meanwhile, the purse disappears to a thrift store and her stuff magically appears on the front lawn, locks changed with the divorce papers taped to the door. I'd really want to put her stuff on Craigslist, but that would probably get me in more trouble than her selling the dog.
Laura MG 3 years ago
My ex sold my aquarium one day when I was at work because he said it was too hard to clean. I'M the one who took care of it!
Glen MacLeod 3 years ago
First, I'd try to get the dog back. Secondly, burn the frikkin' purse. Third wait until she left the house, changed the locks and put her s**t in the driveway. I would physically attack any person who did that to me.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Do whatever you want, but if you lay a finger on my dog, ALL OF HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE!
#24
We flew across the country for her sister's wedding. She didn't say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, "None of my family knows you're here--I told them I came alone." She walked out of the airport and left me there. Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
She gave you a head start to fly home, get your gear together and nope the fück out of there.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Why? Why would she refuse to be seen with her own husband who I assume her family at least knows about. Why would she let it get to that point, all the way to the airport once you LANDED?! Why couldn't she just be honest and say she wanted to go alone?!
Frozengeckolover 1 year ago
This is almost as bad as the time my ex-boyfriend accidently invited me to his family's christmas party. About a month before, he said "We are going to my Mom's for Christmas". This MFer went shopping for their presents with me, answered questions about what each family member liked, listened to me excitedly chat about meeting his family, helped me plan the road trip, and he even helped me bake some pies the day before we left. We drive two hours, pulled into their driveway, THEN he turns to me and says, "When I said 'WE', I meant my brother and me. They didn't invite you, so you need to wait in the car." WTF?!?! I calmly called a cab, took all the presents and desserts with me, took a bus home, and gave everything away to strangers on the bus (gave one of the pies to the cabbie). That idiot did not understand why I dumped him.
#25
When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.
The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a "You should leave this relationship" look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn't making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.
I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end --- not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.
James Mills 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like a compulsive liar, that's not someone you want to be around.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago
No, compulsive lying is a different thing altogether. This is pure manipulation and emotional abuse.
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Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
I know it's not important, but that is a weird picture of a marriage counselling session. I count at least one too many folks in that pic. He could be a polygamist, I guess.
Todd 3 years ago
My divorce lawyer made sure my phone was always on record when we were together as the divorce was happening because he saw so many false accusations like this and recordings can be the only way to defend yourself. My marriage counselor also told me he was proud of me for getting out since I told her I wanted a divorce while at therapy. We’re there 15 minutes and he saw what she was. After she stormed out we talked for another half hour and he told me to research narcissistic personality disorder. Wish it didn’t take me a decade to see what he saw in minutes. Well, I kinda did. But we all do dumb things. And I have 3 amazing daughters and am so happy these days. Past is the past. I don’t dwell on it at all.
LongFang 7 months ago
Immature father here, took me 10 yrs too.... Happily divorced with 1 amazing daughter. Big hug !
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
A professional doesn't give you a "look" that tells you to leave your marriage! You made the decision all by your own self, and that's okay.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
I'm a retired LCSW child, adolescent, and family therapist. I certainly have given that look. To both husband's and wives.
Load More Replies... Bridget Binion 3 months ago
Selfish hateful women like this make it hard for actual DV victims to be believed!
#26
When a friend's wife said to me "You know your wife is sleeping with my husband."
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Uhm, no, I did not know. Thank you for telling me. Shall we kill them together?
Allan Breum 3 years ago
Gods above help me, but my first thought was; Welp, to to pay back the favor...
#27
When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex's was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall - I was out, with the kids.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
So glad. Your teenage daughter probably feels complete relief and freedom. Glad all the kids are with you.
MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago
Ridiculous of a mother being jealous of her own daughter. Why? I know how it feels being in that position. Having a mom sabotage your skin, hair and humiliate you in front of other people just to make herself feel good.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
MOHBS, I'm really sorry this happened to you Love. Are you ok now? I hope you have a happy and healthy 2022 and I'm sending you a hug.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
Yet another comment about cutting someone's hair while they're sleeping. Is this a thing?! Man, I'm so glad I'm out of the dating pool. The water's looking a tad choppy ;-) No offence intended to the OP and their situation, just having fun.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I'm sorry your daughter had to experience more than one of these things before you took action.
Wandaluzt 3 years ago
You're speaking to no-one. It was posted on Reddit 4 years ago.
Load More Replies... René Studer 3 years ago
The sad part is, it’s possible that the stepdaughter also becomes one of the stories in this list.
James Mills 3 years ago
i wonder if he got custody or if the daughter went to live with her biological father.
Khaos Childe 3 years ago
Sounded like he probably took her away too. He seems like he would consider her his daughter.
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#28
When she staged a robbery of our house so she could pawn all of my sh*t for drug money.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Ah, I have a cousin who did something similar. She did'nt get nearly the jail time she deserved.
Elsie 3 years ago
What about through sickness and health? I understand that's crazy but it's a mental health problem. My mother was living in my home and sold my things for her alcohol problem but I didn't kick her out .. she's been clean for 8 years and on her own If you allowed her to use drugs you are part of her problem.
#29
My wife at the time told me that she had called a local radio station which often discusses hardships that military families go through and sometimes gives away $1,000 to a family in need of help. She said that she informed the radio station of my deployment and how I didn't come back the same, and she told them about our daughter (2 months premature and only 8 months old at the time) who had numerous health problems. My wife explained to me that the radio station hadn't given away the $1,000 in quite a few weeks so they were going to give us $10,000 for her telling such a heartfelt story. She called me while I was at work to tell me what had happened and I was really excited...asked my SNCOIC to help me draw up a savings plan and figure out which debts should be paid off first, etc. Things were looking up. I get home that night and rather than being greeting with an enthusiastic hug, she points to the loft and mouths "not now, I'm on the phone." so I go upstairs and wait for her to finish. While I was waiting I could hear her saying things like "yeah I can get those papers to you" and "no problem, I can have that ready by tomorrow." Hmm. Maybe they need identification and proof of my deployment or something, whatever. Fast forward to later that night and like usual I'm having trouble sleeping. I decide to get on the computer and listen to the podcast from the radio show. After a few searches I find it and start listening to it. This is where my blood starts to boil. She told the DJs that she was a single lady living on her own and that her sister married a Marine and they had a child named Marie (our daughter's middle name). She goes on to say that Marie is now in her custody after the Marine husband (me, sort of) was killed in Afghanistan and the mother (her IRL single sister with no kidsv Jacqui) was killed in a car wreck and Marie was now my wife's responsibility. Hundreds of people called in and offered to help, many of which owned business and wanted to offer things like baby supplies or completely furnishing a nursery for her. Literally thousands of people had heard this bullsh*t fabricated story, including some of my coworkers. It was the radio station she was on the phone with and they were asking her to provide death certificates and a birth certificate for Marie, which is why I was shoo'd away.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
Hope you reported her for fraud, to the radio station and the police.
Jude Corrigan 3 years ago
For anyone who is interested, I looked at Reddit, to see what happened. From the comments made by the OP.. 1. He left her and went to his Mums 2. She got rid of his tools and cats. 3.She had his truck repossessed. 4. He has not seen his daughter for about 6 years. 5. He is looking for a pro bono lawyer for visitation rights. Sad ending I know but if anyone knows of a lawyer for him to change things around?
Bitz_Please! 3 years ago
From BP member Jude Corrigan: For anyone who is interested, I looked at Reddit, to see what happened. From the comments made by the OP.. 1. He left her and went to his Mums 2. She got rid of his tools and cats. 3.She had his truck repossessed. 4. He has not seen his daughter for about 6 years. 5. He is looking for a pro bono lawyer for visitation rights.
Load More Replies... Kishibe Angelo 3 years ago
best thing to do is report her lying ass for fraud those poor people where persuaded by that nonsense
#30
I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has f*cked me up pretty good.
Helenium 3 years ago
oh i would so have made cards and a big sheet with that on and put it on the front of the house and sent the cards out lol
lazy panda 3 years ago (edited)
Or just made a scrapbook for her with like 20 pages of the picture of her and the guy followed by a page that says in call CAPS "I'm divorcing you. You are his problem now."
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 3 years ago
It's not about fooling someone. It's about respect and what you and they want out of life. If she keeps doing it, clearly she doesn't want to be with you.
Load More Replies... Natalia Allen 3 years ago
This comment is not about this specific post, it's an end of the whole thread comment. To all the broken people to all those who's love has been rejected, to all those who deserve so much more. May you/we all find love. To those who hurt others may you all find healing.
#31
I left for work at 6am and forgot to unplug the toaster. When I arrived home at 6pm, I was given the "everything you've ever done to piss me off speech" just for leaving the toaster plugged in. I asked her what she did all day that prevented her from unplugging it herself. Another "I'm an as*hole" speech. I said something to the effect of quit acting like your f*cking mother. She threw the cat at me. A cat. She threw a f*cking cat at me.
Gerard Neaux 3 years ago
It she calls it "a f*****g cat" he's clearly bad with animals too.
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Gerard Neaux 3 years ago
No one who talks about the cat in those terms makes a good pet caretaker.
Load More Replies... #32
I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she "got a good deal on it." Apparently I was supposed to pay the $800/mo bill. I didn't think it was a good deal.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
If she bought it in her name only, don't pay and she won't have it long. Oh darn!
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
I had a GF like this and this is why we are not together anymore. She didn't seem to realize that living beyond your means is a terrible idea.
#33
We had a trial separation and lived apart for a month. During this time I vented off some of my frustrations to one of my best friends. Come to find out said friend was f*cking my wife behind my back. They both attempted to manipulate my emotions so that I wouldn't think anything suspicious, but goddamn my intuition always had my back. Always trust your gut folks. Even when your head isn't where it should be.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Damn, this one hurts twice as bad...losing a friend AND a spouse...on the bright side, they were able to cull 2 known worthless P. O.S.es from their life.
Janelle Collard 3 years ago
Isn't this a country song? "My wife + friend were F***ing + I miss my friend."
#34
She required a much more varied selection of d*cks than I was able to provide, so she went out and acquired them herself while I was stationed overseas in the Air Force.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Yeah, I kinda sprayed a bit of coffee over it myself, so don't feel too bad, you aren't the only one.
Load More Replies... #35
When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
My Mom's sister-in-law sat on my Dad's lap at his and my Mom's wedding reception in her parent's home. My Dad just stood up, she landed on her @$$ and he stepped right over her, went to the kitchen to get another beer. What a guy! Complete keeper! For 44 years.
Poultry Geist 3 years ago
I agree ! They were complaining because she was their friends girlfriends And there is something seriously wrong with her if she is trying to arouse SO friends :)
Load More Replies... #36
My son was watching Netflix on her phone with me and her boyfriend text her. It was 12 at night and he said he missed her and couldn't wait to see her again ( typical, I know). I confronted her and she denied and said that her friends daughter was texting my son. My son is 3, the daughter in question was two and barely speaking. Yea. That was time to go
Gerard Neaux 3 years ago
The 3yo son was watching Netflix? Like what, Altered carbon, what exactly is a 3yo watching on Netflix?
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
My 4 year old sis likes watching Boss Baby: Back In Business and the like.
Load More Replies... #37
My neighbor's wife screaming "Putana!" downstairs after she caught my bride and her husband f*cking in front of the fireplace.
#38
I made dinner and baked a chocolate cake for her birthday. She came home that night weeping about her problems: work is rough, her friends are all jerks, her parents are this and that is that, etc. I consoled her as I had every night for the past three years and tried to convince her to eat. She proceeded to lecture me on words to say to properly comfort her. "When a girl says blah, you are supposed to say blah blah blah...." And in that instant I just ran out of f*cks. It's like the needle has been on "E" for a while now, and the "low f*cks" indicator has been on for months, and now the last fumes of f*cks have finally been used up. I packed up all my sh*t into my car, grabbed the cat and left. I realize it's not the dramatic explosive end like most of these stories, nor does it paint me in the best light, but sometimes these things just sputter and die.
El muerto 3 years ago
we are to support our partners, but every vessel has its' limits...and sometimes woman become too demanding and a bit egocentric, specially for some who somehow are always the victim...when we realize that we are not enough...of course it is a little selfish to get away, but that's also selfcare
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
The well of sympathy and compassion has a finite capacity. Drawing from it more than it can refill, and the above example is the result. Men and women both can be guilty of this. Everyone should give comfort and care, but everyone at some point will need to be given that same comfort and care. If energy flows in one direction only, the battery will eventually be dead.
Load More Replies... #39
Wife asked me to defrost the freezer because of ice build-up.
I said OK, was on it immediately...Turned on the kettle and filled a few pots with near boiling water and placed them inside.
She was too impatient - pushed me aside and then proceeded to grab the longest, sharpest knife from the drawer and starts chipping at the ice in the freezer. 30 seconds later "hissssssss" sounds coming from the freezer as all the freon escapes.
Made ME buy a new freezer because I "made her nervous by taking so long and that is why she punctured the freezer".
This woman was impatient about everything and her impatience RUINED EVERYTHING.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
I'd quickly learn to live without a freezer. You want a new freezer? You buy one.
#40
In marriage counseling:
Me: I love you.
Ex: I settled on you.
#41
When she mocked me about being sexually abused when I was 5, yet, I'm still here like the f*cking idiot I am.
Walking On Sunshine 3 years ago
You're not an idiot. You just have hope for change. But some people just aren't worth it and some people will never change. Save yourself brother.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
If it’s legal where you are, record her saying something like that, and then file for divorce. You’re not an idiot, but it’s time to go. She is not a good person.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
You are not an idiot. Shock at being on the receiving end of that cruelty does not make you an idiot. She is beyond unbelievably cruel. This probably didn't come out of thin air. This will happen again. And again. Please leave. It's hard. It's scary. You are not a failure because you leave. She is the cruel b!€+h who doesn't deserve you and you definitely deserve better in life. Please leave.
Gerard Neaux 3 years ago
It's hard but move on. Some people do change but many don't, and they don't especially if you don't tell them clearly how hurtful they are. If they still don't change, it means they don't want to.
#42
I found out she cheated on me, and upon me confronting her to discuss it, she manipulated me into thinking she was suicidal. Then she admitted the manipulation. DONE. She may have once been a nice person, that's all gone now.
#43
Our daughter at 3 years old told us to stop yelling.
Florence likes women 3 years ago
i was six or seven when i realized how f****d up my parents marriage was.
Viviane 3 years ago
Without context, it might look as if one argument broke the marriage. There may be more going on than that one argument. If the yelling was constant, I'd want to leave. I can handle the occasional and brief argument.
Load More Replies... #44
When I realized I didn't get along very well with her boyfriend.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Strange, since they both have mutual interests, you'd expect some bonding.
LONECOOLMAN 3 years ago
yes funny how you bump into them everywhere you go or at your home when you come home....
#45
When we had a much needed family trip planned to Mexico and due to a fight the week before, she told me she didn't want me to come on the trip, and took my 2 daughters and her mother for a week. She was a stay at home I mom so I paid for the whole trip months before. As soon as I knew the plane left on time, I marched into a lawyer's office. I served her the papers the day after they got back home.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Lots of these stories are about selfish women. The lack of respect is just ... WOW...
Debra Timah 3 years ago (edited)
yeah - but we are hearing only one side of the story here; and also some of these may be in need of mental health care and/or addiction rehab
Load More Replies... #46
When she posted on Facebook about an argument we had, and her friends gave her advice on how to get back at me, including but not limited to; poisoning me, hitting me in the face while I'm asleep, and cutting my brake lines. All of these comments were met with laughter and emojis on her part.
Alfie kelly 3 years ago
Isn't it illegal to threaten on social media? I'd understand if it was only something like "give him a little smack" but poisoning them? Cutting brake lines? I don't know man...
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Cops see these complaints as somewhere below "lost puppies" where I live.
Load More Replies... #47
I'd found evidence of potential cheating. Despite this I still was willing to work on things. I confronted her about her feelings towards me (not the cheating). When I point blank asked her if she was interested in counseling or trying to work things out she said no. That was the first time, it would have been better to have stuck with it. There was a tumultuous time after that where we flip flopped and were trying to work things out (sorta, she complicated things). I had broached the cheating with her and we made rules during our maintenance period. One of which was that she was no longer to have contact with her friend she was cheating with. I ended up finding out that she was still Facebook friends with him. When I calmly explained why this would hurt me she turned it around that I was the bad guy. I started living with a friend at this point. During my drunken half sobbing tirade where I explained everything to him I finally realized that I don't WANT to be with this woman anymore. She doesn't love, respect, or care for me at all, and I deserve those things. Moved out, moved on and have since found a wonderful woman that I will marry in April. Even though I figured I would never get married again.
#48
Wasn't married but about 1 month away from marrying. We worked together at the same job for about a year but she was first shift and I was second. We both had weekends off so we could and did things on the weekend. We had got everything paid for and were set. One weekend, actually on my birthday, i went to get a haircut before we went out for the night. I weirdly noticed this one car in the parking lot of our apartments. Didn't think to much as there was a sh*t ton of cars that would come and go. She had gone up to a casino with her mom the previous night and stayed overnight. That wasn't uncommon as they were both huge gamblers. I got back and did some cleaning and she walked in. She looked at me and throw her ring on the table and said, "We need to talk. I think I like "Joe" more now and decided I want to be with him. I don't need the ring and you can cancel the wedding." It all clicked that car I seen was "Joes". She didn't go up to the casino with her mom but with "Joe" instead. Even more f*cked up is I called her mom to see how close they were to home and she covered for her daughter. I then come to find out her friend "Joe" was a ex lover who also broke up her last engagement. He was always trying to befriend me too and act like we were best friends. I have never felt less of a man, more ashamed and hurt then when this happened. I sacrificed a lot for her. I was there doing anything and everything for her and her family when her dad very slowly passed away. And she ends up treating me like a pet she could get rid of when she got bored. I still can't remember a few months of time after that happened. I was in a bad place.
deanna woods 3 years ago
It wasn't your fault that Joe, her mother, and she were all dishonest and horrible people.
Gerard Neaux 3 years ago
Huge gamblers, and Joe broke her previous engagement as well? What in the world?!
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
I hate to say it, but “huge gamblers” was such a red flag for me that I couldn’t imagine the relationship surviving beyond that alone.
#49
I was at work and got a call from my grandparents that she had shot our dog, Zoey, that was laying on the bed with her. We were separated before that for other reasons, but that's when I ponied up a few grand and went to an attorney to file. I really miss her. The dog, I mean.
René Studer 3 years ago
Even though you shouldn’t hit a woman (or anyone for that matter), if there ever is justification for hitting someone, this is it. If you kill my dog, I will punch you in the face. That’s guaranteed.
Alfie kelly 3 years ago
I think if you shoot an animal, the animal should be allowed to shoot you, just putting it out there
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
I think that yes,she shot their dog , apparently while it was on the bed.Where she did it really doesn't matter...its the fact that she shot this innocent animal that the O.P. loved, out of pure cruelty and meaness to hurt the O.P. This person is a psychopath.
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#50
15 years in, and I find texts on her phone. Completely blindsided... No clue she had it in her to cheat. Told me it was just texting. Begged for forgiveness. I caved. A month later, checked the phone bill to find that it never stopped. Confronted her again... Cue more begging and more denial on my part that she would let the life we had built go down in flames. This went on for a few months. So many promises. One night, I caught her on the phone when she thought I had left. Suddenly it's not just texts. Sometimes it was phone calls too... Just a friend she could talk to that she let things go too far with. Promised to break all contact. Swore it was never physical. Then I found emails. She detailed things that made me sick to read... But also included descriptions of his house. She broke finally, but swore it was all just in the line of duty. That's how she met, you see? Visiting nurse service, and this guy was a client. Promised she was done. Loved me, you see? No chance she was going to let 15 years go like that. I wasn't buying it anymore though. She announced she was going out one night with a work friend. Promised they were only going to the bar, then she'd be home. Maybe late, but not too late. She had taken over her own phone account by then, but wasn't bright enough to understand that Google Latitude was still showing me where she was, and I wasn't about to show my hand. She kissed me goodbye and bee-lined right for his house, and was there until the wee hours of the morning. Once I knew where she had headed, I called her dad and my best friend to keep me from doing anything dumb. I will love them both forever for keeping me calm while my world went f*cking insane all around me. My father in law offered to stay with the kids and wait for her to get home. Around 3am, while couch surfing my buddy's place, she sent me a nasty text asking where the f*ck I thought I was. I texted her a screenshot of her little GPS dot at her boyfriend's and let her know I'd be sending her some paperwork soon.
Bridget Binion 3 months ago
So she's out being a cheating, lying skanky w***e but has the audacity to get mad and nasty when he was at his buddy's house.
#51
When she physically attacked me in front of our then-11-y-o son. I'd been pondering the idea for a while. That was the clincher.
#52
Ex-wife and I were already on a trial separation, but honestly had hoped we would get it worked out. My daughter and I moved into my parents house while we figured things out, and Christmas day rolls around and she shows up to give her presents to everyone and leaves. Just really hit me that she couldn't even stick around on Christmas day because she had more important things to do, that this wasn't going to work. Honestly the only time as a grown man that I've ever cried.
Kay blue 3 years ago
In case any man needs to hear this: there is nothing shameful in crying, it does you more harm to keep things bottled up than crying ever would. Any partner that has an issue with you crying, doesn't deserve your love.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
You speak the truth Kay. Some guys have had it drilled into them since the could comprehend that tears mean weakness and that real men don't cry and it's damn harmful. Crying has a purpose. Its a relief valve for feelings that can overwhelm a person,whether it be sadness, anger, or joy. Once emotions become suppressed, it's so, difficult to release them.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
To any man that reads this:YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CRY AND BE EMOTIONAL AND ANYONE THAT TELLS YOU DIFFERENT IS A MORON.
#53
When she cried poor to me over the $100 she needed to cover going to NYC so she could see friend she hadn't seen in months. She went from not going because it wasn't worth the money to walking gleefully out the door when I handed her the $100. As I was laying in bed I wondered why she had no money... I checked her favorite clothing store history. She was averaging spending 75% of her income on clothes and makeup. Everything fell into place for me that day. I filed after the money scavenger hunt turned up she had a Boyfriend too.
#54
There were many reasons but this was the final straw. My grandmother was on her death bed. My Ex took this time to throw a childish fit because I ordered food that she didn't like. I realised at that point how completely miserable I was and how f*cking short life is. So we divorced, she took all my money and my kids (+childsupportl). I've still never been happier and everytime I have to interact with her is blows my mind that we made it 9 years. I guess when we were together I was so trained to comply and overlook. I now see what an absolute toxic bully she is/was.
UpupaEpops 3 years ago
It's one of the unfortunate realities of divorce. Unless the mother has a serious addiction or a similarly serious and evident problem, underage children will almost automatically be placed with her. It's BS and makes for some miserable childhoods.
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#55
She said she knew it would never last when I started looking at houses "out in the sticks" (20 minutes from a major city) when she could only live in the middle of a city. She actually cited the distance to Starbucks as a determining factor as to where we should live. I knew it wasn't fair to either of us when I realized that the only time I thought about her in a positive way was when we were drinking or f*cking.
Harri Ellis 3 years ago
She would have loved the village of 8 houses in the Scottish Highlands. 90 miles to the nearest McDonalds, or traffic signal. I loved it.
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
Oh that sounds heavenly to this Texan with horrible allergies!
Load More Replies... #56
My son picked out the perfect Christmas present for her. Adult coloring books in all her favorite themes. Obsessed for hours on the right ones to get her. He loved to color and she would only do things with him that she liked doing, which included coloring. After we opened presets, she asked what he wanted to do. It was the few hours of a weekend when he got to actually spend time with her. He's behind excited. He said he wanted to color with her. Got super excited when she said yes. So they go and start getting things out and she says go get your coloring books. He says I want to work on a picture together in your book. She says no, that is mine. Get yours. Crocodile tears. Biggest I have ever seen. He lost it. And she didn't. Change. Her. Mind. Still wouldn't let her 6 year old touch her coloring book. Done.
Karis Ravenhill 3 years ago
6yrs old is way too young for a kid to find out how s**t*y people can be.
#57
When I came to the realization that I was the as*hole. For those that are curious. I'm an emotionally detached Alcoholic Veteran. I don't drink anymore. Still an as*hole though
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Well, the first step in becoming a better person is realizing what the problems are.
#58
When she said that if I ever did anything that she didn't like she would just divorce me, because I was her first real relationship. We had been married for 6 years, and were both in our mid-30's. I loved her, but that was the moment i realized that she didn't know what marriage meant. When I was laid off a few months later, she asked for a divorce and I agreed. Now I have the best job of my life, have lost 50 pounds, and met a lovely lady. Meanwhile she has been dumped multiple times, is still single and has gained weight because she is miserable. I hope she finds some happiness soon though.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
When ultimatums come into play in a relationship you have to give yourself one ultimatum: I'm out if they ever even hint to an ultimatum.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
You’re a good guy. Even though she said such a horrible thing to you, you still want her to be happy!
#59
When she informed me she was cheating on me and leaving me for that guy. k That guy was engaged. Not to her. Oddly enough he did not break off his engagement...
#60
Finding her, on Christmas Eve, still sexting a co-worker whom she claimed she was no longer in contact with (having been busted sexting him previously, also). I cleared out of there like a blackjack dealer.
#61
When i found the letter between her and my friend about their affair and how she couldn't wait to be away from me so they could be together..... yup... i knew then, that it was time to get that divorce
#62
That would be the moment I walked in from work to find my wife sitting at the kitchen table crying and our two children (5 and 2 at the time) no where to be found. I immediately thought something had happened to the kids. When I asked what was wrong, where are the kids? She said "They are fine. They are upstairs playing. I just realized that when we die the kids and I are all going to be in heaven and you won't be there with us". Context: we were both raised in religious families but through-out college neither of us practiced at all. After college I began migrating toward my ultimate destination as an atheist. She found god and was reborn.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
Religion has fcuked up more relationships than people know. It's poison. Wish it was off this planet.
Kallen Kneeland 3 years ago
Not religious and understand your sentiment, BUT . . . given how many @$$h0le$ there are on the planet, and given that SOME of them have religion that may at least tone down their natural impulses to be jerks, I'm not sure you'd want all religion "off this planet". Just sayin'
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Viviane 3 years ago
Obviously, the gap was huge for this couple. I'm still an atheist (non-practicing Jew). I'm actually happy that my husband (half-Jewish, raised Catholic) joining a Jewish congregation. It's very progressive, the rabbi is lovely and doesn't care that I don't keep kosher, and if he outlives me, he'll have emotional support. It probably helps that the afterlife isn't emphasized in Judaism, unlike in Christianity.
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
It's much more likely for a good atheist to go to Heaven than a bad Christian.
memyselfandI 3 years ago
I’m glad she at least knew that it wasn’t going to work if one was religious and the other wasn’t. No one’s crazy, just not compatible.
#63
The morning I saw a picture of some dudes d*ck on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings...
#64
For my (step)dad -- when he found her calculations about how much she would get in child support and alimony in a divorce. She wasn't home at the time. He had the locks changed on his doors first thing, then shut her out of their shared accounts.
#65
Not divorced yet. Haven't fully decided it's time, but I think it's close. And my straw was when, during one of her every-three-month epic melt-downs, she said, "I fantasize about you just finding another girl and sleeping with her so I'll know it's over. It would be the worst thing you could ever do to me."
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
What more does he need? A written letter of consent that she's willing to divorce as long as he takes the blame and she can be the innocent victim?
boredkitten 3 years ago
Try councillig first if you both are willing to work on it. It might help you with decision.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
That's probably going keep up to get a "Fine! I will!!" Out of you to make you the bad guy. Just tell her it's over.
#66
Made an account for this. When I saw her texts to the person she was having an affair with, and they were making fun of me. I actually regret the divorce to be honest, she accused me of stuff I didn't do and I can't see my kid anymore. He was too young to remember me, and I'm sure she isn't giving him a glowing opinion about me. I don't think he will ever want to know his old man.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
It doesn't take much for a woman to convince the judge that the husband is an abusive jerk with absolutely no bond to the children. In divorce cases the husband is nearly always guilty until proven innocent.
Load More Replies... Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
Don't give up hope. I divorced my cheating abusive first husband and literally fled with my 2 month old daughter. Hid my address & phone # for years. When she asked, I told her the things she could understand and more as she grew. I guess I painted a pretty grim picture too. When she was 19 and in a sad place, she expressed the desire to meet him. I contacted his family and he called. His first words were a tearful apology and that he had searched for years. She flew out to meet him and he was a different person entirely. One of the very few good endings!
Flash Henry 3 years ago
I work for a divorce lawyer and women like that really make my blood boil >:( it's frightening how often they get away with it
#67
She started working at a job with people that were closer to her age (25 - 30) instead of a job where her coworkers were in their late 40s - early 50s. She wanted to go out and hang out with them rather than come home and be with her family [myself and our at the time 2 year old daughter and a god forsaken cat that she just had to have]. There were a lot of other little things that added up over time, mainly her desire to drink and drive [without our daughter in the car thankfully] and 4 days a week of not coming home until 2 or 3 in the morning and not telling a soul where she was or what she was doing. After a month of that, she said she wanted a divorce. I fought it with everything I had for 3 months. Decided to go to counseling, where the counselor asked her "Ex-Wife, in your mind in this marriage already over?" After a literal 5 minute silence, I had the answer I needed. Separated a week later and divorced a year later. We're still civil for our daughter's sake. But I will say that after the initial shock of actually going through a divorce after us both proclaiming to do whatever it takes and never getting a divorce, I will say I'm much happier now. I was able to save up and buy a house for my daughter and I, which I never would have been able to do had I stayed married.
alex mitchell 3 years ago
I think all cats are godforsaken, as they really don't give a sh#t regardless. Be more like cat.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
funny, but not true. I have a cat who is really dog-like. Wants affection etc.
Load More Replies... #68
I was working 6-7 days a week 10-12 hours a day and she called me lazy. She screaming in my face and telling me I was a bad Father as she demolished my sons room. Goodbye.
#69
After all the arguments, yelling at each other and talking in cross purposes we were looking at each other and she says to me, "I know that you are going to divorce me because of this but I really hate you". It was the first time in a long time that I completely understood her and what she was trying to express to me. My daughter was 3 at the time ad over the years she said she wanted me back but I would say, all you have to do is apologize for what you said. She never would. That's how I knew she didn't love me.
#70
I was standing next to one of my best friends waiting for the ski lift to start up when his brand new wife leaned over and said "of course it's broken if their mechanic is a Mexican." The shock in his face leads me to believe that's the moment he knew they would divorce in a few months.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
It's been hidden. 2016 came and the Known Racist released the flying monkeys.
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Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
Actually Mexicans and Hispanics make really good mechanics i know of some that are quite good in their work. Not saying a white man or a black man cant be a good mechanic just saying from experience.
#71
I caught my wife being unfaithful, even though we had a very active sex life (we had sex 5-7 times a week.) That was it. Once a cheater always a cheater. I filed a week later. There are no second chances when it comes to infidelity in my book, it is one act that shows the most blatant disregard for your spouse. If you are gonna cheat, then grow a pair and tell your spouse first, or get f*cked.
boredkitten 3 years ago
I disagree that a cheater always cheats again. People have a power to change. But it is wierd if the sex life is active...
#72
dunno, mighta been when the doctor told me i had a STI, and i hadn't had sex with anyone apart from her for many years and was completely clean of disease beforehand. oh yeah, and a couple weeks later when that pregnancy test came back positive and we'd been using condoms since the baby was born. a bit of a clue, anyway.
#73
Sometimes when my ex and I used to fight, she would decide that she wasn't going to go to some function or honor plans we had previously made. (sometimes very last minute, like hanging out with friends, dinner with my family etc.) For example, we got into some argument and she decided to not go to my only sisters wedding (btw the wedding was that day)... A year later, she did the same thing during a fight. She threatened me again, telling me that she decided to not go with me to Texas for a reunion with some of the guys I served in the Marines with. I didn't fight it this time and just said OK. Several days later she tried to reneg on her threat and actually tried to turn it around on me. Saying how mean i was for not wanting her to come with me. I told her that I was actually relieved that she wasn't going. I could hang out with my friends that I hadn't seen since I got out and it would be nice to not have to worry about her crazy, insecure drama. That realization, that I was going to be happier without her was the moment I knew we were done.
#74
Months of no sex, secretly seeing someone "as a friend" at her night job, going to stay the night at his house over the weekend, and finally, finding her saying she loves him in an instant messenger text. Also, forgetting my f'ing birthday. This was less than 90 days in.
#75
When she admitted to cheating on me with a coworker. This was the second time. First time was with a bunch of Internet strangers, albeit at separate times. You could make the case that the second time was the 2nd dude, but I'm talking about 2nd admittance. But I digress... At that point, it wasn't so much me asking her as it was me getting the f*ck out of Dodge.
just me 3 years ago
Reading further it sounds like "first time" was referring to the admission, not the cheating.
Load More Replies... #76
Went to my grandpas funeral, Disneyland after the service, flights and board were paid for by my father. She was the most ungrateful unsupportive whiny bitch the whole weekend I couldn't believe it. My little sister said my entire family didn't like her or her attitude and was constantly asking why she was there, that really sank in and at that moment I knew we were done. Don't keep her around if your family can't stand her, they prolly don't like her for good reason.
Me Oh My 3 years ago
Yeah, my family has automatically hated everyone I've ever dated just because they were scared I'd finally come to my senses and leave them in the dust. Which I did.
Load More Replies... John Smith 3 years ago
Couldn't disagree more. My family hates my wife, they seem to think that she is some sort of she-devil. In fact she is a wonderful, caring, intelligent woman. Who has nothing but love and good feelings towards me. It took me a while, but I realised it was my family that was the problem, not her.
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
Us proper grammar users must continue to resist, my friend XD.
Load More Replies... #77
Saturday before Easter of this year she came at me with her desire to go to Germany and see "friends" that would pay for her round trip there and back. We got into an argument about it. I voiced my suspicion that something more was going on. We didn't speak Sunday. Then Monday rolls around and she tells me she's done. So I get home early, look around on her laptop and find chats between her and her German girlfriend. (I invade her privacy because she had cheated before) She had been planning on divorcing me since November last year. So I call her at work and tell her to pack her sh*t and get out. I feel so much better not having the trust issues with her but this whole ordeal is wreaking havoc on my three children.
#78
she made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. Is Your Marriage Okay or not type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn't see any. We had already been to counseling.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Sometimes there's a huge gap between how people think their relationship is doing and the reality.
#79
Preface: we were doing a trial separation. She moved into the spare bedroom of our apartment. "Divorce" had been thrown around but we still spent time together and slept together. I wasn't seriously considering divorce, but rather counseling, etc. Up until the day I came home from work at the same time I came home every day and she was in her room being f*cked by some random guy she met on Tinder. She had not told him she was married. I kicked him out of the apartment and made it clear to her I would be moving out as soon as possible.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
He should have kicked her and her Tinder love out of the apartment.
#80
We were at Wendy's with our three kids. My intestines, for whatever reason, were ready to purge. I said I was going to the bathroom with urgency and she insisted, despite my protests of urgency, that I take one of the three kids with me to the bathroom because she didn't want to sit with all three. I held my 3-year old in my arms while my bowels exploded. And I realized then that it was over.
Frozengeckolover 1 year ago
That's weird af. "Oh, you need to poop? Take one of our young children with you." What the heck?!?!
#81
When I found evidence of the last affair. As soon as I heard it, I knew that was the end, and there would never be anything else there.
#82
For the first one: I was working late and the daycare calls and ask if I'm picking up my kids. Left work to go get them, when I got home she was gone. Didn't hear anything from her for 2 weeks. For the second one: the third time I bailed the house out of foreclosure because she wouldn't pay the bills. Even though there was money in the accounts to cover it. I closed the account, handed her cash for the mortgage packed a bag my kids and left.
#83
I worked, she played. She woke me up in the middle of the night to grab the extra blanket off the bed. I expected to find her disgruntled on the couch alone the next morning. I found her in the guest bed with another woman- both naked. No forewarnings or clue-ins. Just despondent betrayal. I woke her for answers and got a whole lot of mumbles. Decided to split for "space". That weekend we both ended up at the same bar on the same dance floor. I thought she'd followed me there to make amends. She'd brought the same girl and completely ignored me when I called out to her. When I walked up to her she pretended I was a stranger...I told her I'm not going to play any games and didn't know what was going on. She said she didn't want to be married. I gave her the ring back and went to tell my friends goodbye that night. I didn't want to tell them why, I felt so embarrassed. She saw me talking to my friends and decided to make out in front of us with her new woman directly on the dance floor eight feet away from where I stood while everyone stared. Looking back now I realize she probably was scared to come out. I can give her credit for that. But she was an awful person for the way she did it and for never having the courage to say to my face whatever she was feeling. I thought we were best friends. I thought we were going to be together forever... She asked me to marry her. Now I'm just grateful for not being with a liar and a coward. I've made a fresh start. Sold everything. Traded my entire wardrobe and style to feel like I'm in a new life. Sure, I've lost more money than I ever thought imaginable. And the dog... I just keep optimistic that I'll find someone who deserves my time. I don't focus on the past and I have faith in God and the future. Whoever I marry next will be grateful for a man like me and loyal. But until then I'm gonna enjoy the single life again and just play.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Wow. Unbelievable. Look if you're gay, be honest with yourself and others. Don't make people live a lie and hide your sexuality behind a sham hetero relationship just because you're not ready to come out.
Florence likes women 3 years ago
i mean maybe she’s bi or pan but yeah, if she wasn’t really in love with him it was rlly shitty of her to pretend
Load More Replies... Kanuli 3 years ago
So people never talk to eachother? We talk often at least, and also about thoughts, dreams, fears, also about the possibility from that post up there. But we are quite happy being hetero. Although we don’t rule out a triangle, if there was a person fitting, kinda like the marston movie, if it happened why not? But we would also be totally fine if it just stayed the two of us :)
Sa Ruuu 3 years ago
Arrogance? Narcissistic? Are you ignoring the big red flag of bringing their affair to have sex with in the same house as their spouse? Feeling the need to make out with them in front of their spouse and spouses friends? That's f*****g crazy. They're an adult who could have and should have used their words to have an amenable break up.
Load More Replies... #84
My ex was one hell of a disaster. Yet I stood up by her and tried to work with the hand I had been dealt, so to speak, because she was my wife. I discovered she was cheating on me. I expelled her from my house. As the rage subsided, we started talking again. I convinced her to move back in and we agreed, as she had suggested when I first confronted her, to go to therapy together. She promised to never contact the guy again. Five months later, as I am finally facing the fact that she lies to me constantly and about all kinds of things (besides the usual "not putting up with her share of the effort", "expecting me to foot the bill on everything", "not sharing stuff she should be sharing with her husband", etc.), I discover she's talking to the guy again. So, she keeps cheating and I don't trust her word one bit? I'm done here. Now, we had a kid together, and this was in late november... so I chose to extend my misery for seven more weeks, so I wouldn't ruin my son's Christmas. I counted the days until a Jan 15th, when I kicked her out for good. Those weeks weren't that difficult, actually, because she had made me miserable for years, and this period at least had a clear ending date. Divorced now, and still bitter about all the wasted years with that undeserving bitch.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Good for you for being miserable so u can make your son happy. You’re a good guy
#85
I think I'm in the process of realising it's time to call it a day. I love her but we seem to have vastly different ideas on the best way to live (ie money, lifestyles). And it's thoroughly disheartening being the one trying to make an effort all the time.
#86
My best friend was in Air Force stationed in South Korea and got married right before he left. After about 6 months he flies her out to visit. 1st night she was there she would go outside to smoke more and more. She left her phone and he looked at it when someone texted her. She was texting 2 guys on base asking "do you want to fu$& me when my husband goes to work?" He got out of doge when she went home. Turns out she was cheating on him the whole time he was gone and was going to text him she wanted a divorce anyway.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
She's disgusting, be happy there's no children and get that divorce.
#87
When she moved out while I was camping with 2 of our sons and there was no discussion of whether her leaving was permanent or potentially temporary in her view.
#88
Was told to sit down. After sitting down, was told her "friend" who frequently visits and brings her 5-year-old daughter, is really her daughter and grand daughter. This, after a long discussion about not being able to have kids, which really meant "I don't want any more kids" and my thoughts and feelings about having kids can f*ck the f*ck off.
Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
Unless she was very young when she had her daughter, and the daughter was young when she had her daughter, she's probably too old for children anyway.
Batwench 3 years ago
Maybe after having the daughter, she was unable to have anymore children. If it was a grandchild as well maybe there was a stigma about her having a child out of wedlock, or the birth was that traumatic that she felt that she couldn’t have more kids. We need a full story from both sides here as it seems that OP is an older person.
Little Wonder 3 years ago
From Reddit: Without getting too deep into the specifics, she is from Japan and was/is 11 years older than me. I knew of the prior marriage, which I didn't care about, but the "friend" turned kid, who had a kid of her own got under my skin. We had talked about kids - I really wanted one, but she said she couldn't have one. Turns out, she just didn't want to go through the experience again. She could have had a kid, but didn't want one. I can respect that, too, but to not be up front about it, knowing how important it was to me... that was the end of the trust in the relationship.
Load More Replies... #89
The day she sold 'her' refrigerator after I had just put $70 worth of food inside it. I still thought we could figure things out maybe until I came home with ice and a cooler and my son told me she barged in his room and stole his xbox.
Kira Okah 3 years ago (edited)
On checking the OP, it looks like it was for paying back payday loans.
Load More Replies... #90
She went to vegas for a girls trip. Called me up and said she was going to see a dude she knew in Texas. I said umm what? I told her no she said she was already on her way. She stayed there for 2 weeks and made up the most insane justifications as to why. This is about 2 months after I bought her tits. She left everything. Clothes, purses, shoes, both dogs that she adored, she did steal my Xbox tho. I don't know what I did that was so awful I never got a decent answer out of her.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
If the stuffs worth anything have a yard sale or donate it, if not throw it away, divorce her for abandonment and try to move on.
#91
The day she didnt take off work to help me go through a dumpster. I had accidentally thrown my keys in the trash while cleaning out my car
Little Wonder 3 years ago
OKay I checked reddit. This is a joke referring to someone in a thread about what made men propose where someone said his girlfriend went through the dumpster with him to find his keys.
Lillukka79 3 years ago
If you are dumb enough to throw your keys in the dumbster, you look for them. I'd say she was lucky to be rid of him.
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Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Sweet criminy crickets. Reading these just makes me so much more grateful and appreciative of my wife and that she is so sweet,kind and understanding. I dont think I could find anyone better to be with and I'm so lucky because I got to marry my bestest friend. I love you baby.
Mary Bank 3 years ago
Reading these... yikes. I know I lucked out marrying my best friend but gonna make more of an effort to make sure HE KNOWS that I know how lucky I am. O_O
Load More Replies...
Patti Vance 3 years ago
reading these made me relive the reasons why i left my husband of 32 yrs. doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman - sometimes the person you thought you knew was only the person that was being presented for their own agenda. what amazed me is that sometimes that person can keep up the charade for decades until they just feel like they can let it go because of the attitude of 'well, where are you going to go?'. i am disabled and even my friends thought i was crazy to live on my own again. so far, doing great! he, on the other hand, entered into a relationship immediately with someone who cheated on him as well as other things. the difference between me and her is that she is the kind that will not say no to anything, preferring to live with material comfort rather than autonomy.
Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
Patti, I hope you have an extremely awesome 2022 just to spite him! It's your turn to shine, hon.
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago (edited)
This is so infuriating to read. Yes, my parents stayed together for 44 years. But more than some of those years were pretty awful because of a health condition my Mom had and the only medications available to keep her alive made her volatile and cruel. There were times I wished they would divorce and I could live with my Dad. Finally, when there were different medications and she got switched, she became a different person. She was wonderful for the rest of her life. She once said that back then she thought everyone else was wrong and she was right when really it was the other way around. Both me and my Dad forgave. It was the meds. She was on ephedrine pills (used to be taken by folks to stay awake during long drives. Now illegal) Amesec pills (contained amphetamines) and isuprel spray. Pure uppers. She went through withdrawal. Those years were horrible. I dont know how or why at the time, we stayed.
Rijkærd 3 years ago
Your Dad is amazing for seeung through the effects of the medication and her actual personality..Glad your mom got better..
Load More Replies...
Lovin' Life 3 years ago (edited)
These made me extremely angry! Just as with men, women can be toxic and abusive. The best move I ever made was leaving my husband before he killed my. I left after he held me down in the kitchen floor and put a gun in my mouth. My 3 kids were there watching. That was the last straw for me. If you're in an abusive relationship, get out! Please get out! It may be hard to start over, but it is totally worth it!
Caro Caro 3 years ago
WHAT did I just read Lovin'Life???? OMG, I'm so shocked. And your children watching.... You had the strength, the guts to leave. Bless you.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Hubby and I had a long separation (8 months) and worked it out, and now I realize why. Turns out we had issues, but a$$hole-level selfishness wasn't one of 'em.
Dodo 3 years ago
Glad to see there's less misandry in the comments here. On Facebook, it just seems to be 'women have it worse, get over it'.
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Nice to see a BP post that balances the debate a bit. A disproportionate number are about how awful men are so for once, it's being called out that we're not all misogynistic bastards and occasionally find ourselves on the receiving end of truly awful behaviour from women.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I thought exactly the same. BP should do this more often. Happy and Healthy 2022 Mark.
Load More Replies... InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Disgraceful, I'm so glad I found mine, met in 1997 and love her more every day, and I make sure she knows it, I can be pretty annoying at times I'm sure but that's part of it, I know she can annoy the s**t out of me sometimes.
Seabeast 3 years ago
Sometimes people can hide their true nature and put their best foot forward until the wedding is over, but I suspect that a lot of these marriages started with physical attraction and not much talking.
Load More Replies...
Joanie 3 years ago
My son was on dialysis and waiting for a kidney transplant. We got the call on a Wednesday afternoon that a life saving kidney that matched had been found! We rushed to the hospital and he was prepped for surgery. My husband was pissed off because it was on a Wednesday night and he was going to miss watching Survivor. That's hard for me to live with.
Samara Morgan 3 years ago
Your husband should be the one with messed up kidneys. That's so evil.
Load More Replies... Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
Sweet criminy crickets. Reading these just makes me so much more grateful and appreciative of my wife and that she is so sweet,kind and understanding. I dont think I could find anyone better to be with and I'm so lucky because I got to marry my bestest friend. I love you baby.
Mary Bank 3 years ago
Reading these... yikes. I know I lucked out marrying my best friend but gonna make more of an effort to make sure HE KNOWS that I know how lucky I am. O_O
Load More Replies... Patti Vance 3 years ago
reading these made me relive the reasons why i left my husband of 32 yrs. doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman - sometimes the person you thought you knew was only the person that was being presented for their own agenda. what amazed me is that sometimes that person can keep up the charade for decades until they just feel like they can let it go because of the attitude of 'well, where are you going to go?'. i am disabled and even my friends thought i was crazy to live on my own again. so far, doing great! he, on the other hand, entered into a relationship immediately with someone who cheated on him as well as other things. the difference between me and her is that she is the kind that will not say no to anything, preferring to live with material comfort rather than autonomy.
Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
Patti, I hope you have an extremely awesome 2022 just to spite him! It's your turn to shine, hon.
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago (edited)
This is so infuriating to read. Yes, my parents stayed together for 44 years. But more than some of those years were pretty awful because of a health condition my Mom had and the only medications available to keep her alive made her volatile and cruel. There were times I wished they would divorce and I could live with my Dad. Finally, when there were different medications and she got switched, she became a different person. She was wonderful for the rest of her life. She once said that back then she thought everyone else was wrong and she was right when really it was the other way around. Both me and my Dad forgave. It was the meds. She was on ephedrine pills (used to be taken by folks to stay awake during long drives. Now illegal) Amesec pills (contained amphetamines) and isuprel spray. Pure uppers. She went through withdrawal. Those years were horrible. I dont know how or why at the time, we stayed.
Rijkærd 3 years ago
Your Dad is amazing for seeung through the effects of the medication and her actual personality..Glad your mom got better..
Load More Replies... Lovin' Life 3 years ago (edited)
These made me extremely angry! Just as with men, women can be toxic and abusive. The best move I ever made was leaving my husband before he killed my. I left after he held me down in the kitchen floor and put a gun in my mouth. My 3 kids were there watching. That was the last straw for me. If you're in an abusive relationship, get out! Please get out! It may be hard to start over, but it is totally worth it!
Caro Caro 3 years ago
WHAT did I just read Lovin'Life???? OMG, I'm so shocked. And your children watching.... You had the strength, the guts to leave. Bless you.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Hubby and I had a long separation (8 months) and worked it out, and now I realize why. Turns out we had issues, but a$$hole-level selfishness wasn't one of 'em.
Dodo 3 years ago
Glad to see there's less misandry in the comments here. On Facebook, it just seems to be 'women have it worse, get over it'.
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
Nice to see a BP post that balances the debate a bit. A disproportionate number are about how awful men are so for once, it's being called out that we're not all misogynistic bastards and occasionally find ourselves on the receiving end of truly awful behaviour from women.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I thought exactly the same. BP should do this more often. Happy and Healthy 2022 Mark.
Load More Replies... InfectedVoice 3 years ago
Disgraceful, I'm so glad I found mine, met in 1997 and love her more every day, and I make sure she knows it, I can be pretty annoying at times I'm sure but that's part of it, I know she can annoy the s**t out of me sometimes.
Seabeast 3 years ago
Sometimes people can hide their true nature and put their best foot forward until the wedding is over, but I suspect that a lot of these marriages started with physical attraction and not much talking.
Load More Replies... Joanie 3 years ago
My son was on dialysis and waiting for a kidney transplant. We got the call on a Wednesday afternoon that a life saving kidney that matched had been found! We rushed to the hospital and he was prepped for surgery. My husband was pissed off because it was on a Wednesday night and he was going to miss watching Survivor. That's hard for me to live with.
Samara Morgan 3 years ago
Your husband should be the one with messed up kidneys. That's so evil.
Load More Replies...
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