Disney Animator Illustrates Life With Two Children After His Wife Dies, And It Will Break Your Heart
Keeping a diary is a common and therapeutic habit, allowing an order to the cluttered thoughts and emotions that occur throughout our daily lives. Naturally, if you are a Disney animator, your diary can take on a visual format to become a 'doodle diary.'
This is what former Disney animation professional Gary Andrews started doing on his 54th birthday, as a happily married father-of-two, documenting the joy of family life with his beautiful wife and children. Sadly, tragedy was to strike, and Gary would become a widower and a single parent within three years.
While away on a work trip to Canada, Gary's wife Joy fell ill with what they thought was a simple flu. However, it soon became apparent that it was much more serious than that, and Gary rushed home to be near his beloved. On arrival back in the UK he received the devastating news: Joy had passed away from sepsis.
Completely shell-shocked from the sudden death of Joy, Gary struggled to find a way to respond to his overwhelming grief. He opened up his notebook and let his emotions pour out onto the pages. “I was crying so hard it was difficult to focus on the page. I was drawing through tears,” he told the Daily Mail. “Joy had been my soulmate for 19 years. She was beautiful, kind, generous and funny. We did everything together. When I lost her, I felt half of me had gone.”
Through the stages of grief, Gary continued with his doodle diary, recording the ups and downs, the good days and the bad. The process of putting his thoughts and emotions down on paper helped him to cope, by allowing him to vent his feelings. Joy is a recurring part of his doodles, and he also manages to capture the continuing happiness and fun that his children bring to his life, navigating the world of being a single parent.
Sepsis is a silent killer, and cartoonist Gary hopes to raise awareness for an illness that is often regarded as an afterthought for many doctors. Its symptoms, including fever, sickness, blotchy skin and dizziness, are often mistaken for other illnesses and not recognized until too late. If captured early on, it can be treated with simple antibiotics. Gary doesn't blame anyone for Joy's death. However, it was merely bad luck. “From the minute Joy was admitted to hospital, specialists from every department tried to find out what was wrong,' he says. “They couldn't have done more. It wasn't until the post-mortem that they narrowed it down to sepsis.”
“Blame and 'what ifs' won't bring Joy back. Would she still be alive if I hadn't been to Canada and a doctor had been called a day earlier? I can't think about things like that. What happened has happened, and you have to come to terms with it. I want to move forward, to honor Joy's memory and bring up our kids in a way she would have approved of.”
Scroll down below to see some of Gary's poignant doodles for yourself on how to deal with grief, and let us know what you think in the comments.
More info: Twitter
Shell-shocked from the sudden death of his wife, Gary struggled to find a way to respond to his overwhelming grief

He started drawing some doodles in his journal to document the daily life without his soulmate and found that expressing his emotions helped a bit
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Nothing wrong with that. This one made me smile, too, which was nice after the others.
Load More Replies...watched you on The One Show and immediately went to my computer - omg how tragic for you all - your mind set and courage is just beautiful thinking of you all god bless you all from an admirer of your courage = eileen
I couldn't get past this one--broke my heart because my husband died three months ago and that is exactly how I feel.
Straight to the point and honest - I Love children's open-hearted logic
14 Years. Some days it's still hard to process. It took me the first 4 years to really learn, that she will never come through the door again. #widowerlife #cancersucks
OMG. I wish this could be real for people who have lost someone dear to them.
Losing a loved one is so f*cking hard. My brother, I was so close to him, and he died very unexpectedly. I cried for YEARS after. I still do when something reminds me of him.
This is the first time in 7 months when tears have told down my eyes... Especially this one, holding hands...
This one got me. I can't imagine the grief and the strength this man has. God bless him
I lost my wife in 2015. She left me our two beautiful girls, now 4 and 7. Thank you so very much for sharing these intimate moments. The past couple months have been especially difficult. This particular one, I really relate to, and completely feel the same. I let my dog Rosie start sleeping in our bed so its not as lonely.
After we lost my dad to cancer a few years ago, mom has not been able to sleep in the bed anymore...she only sleeps on the couch. This breaks my heart.
To hear your soft breath, feel the warm air on my ear, these are things I miss most Your hair tangled in my hand, your arm across my chest, yo dark lashes on your alabaster cheeks, looking at our girl, reminds me of you she looks just like you! One day, we will sit and hold each other as I tell you about our life, after you went. I know you watch us, love us and... miss us, and we? Well, you are always with us And will never be sorry for missing what could have been. KLL 2018
😭😭 like, sitting in the break room balling. Losing family is *so* hard. :'(
My children lost their father at age 5 and 7. I can relate. These are fantastic!
You will always have the words, but they will be written in your heart, hold them close. One day, you will be able to share again.
Okay, I had a trickle of tears before, but Lord, this caused a gusher!
this is so tragic - i understand the pain my beautiful husband passed away at twenty five years of age my son was 6 months old i truly feel your pain just wonderful how you are trying to deal with this situation can hardly type cor crying take care
When I saw the title I thought "oh no, another Sad Panda post." I couldn't look away though, and of course I'm crying for the family, especially for the kids. If only I could magic their mother back... And all because of sepsis - if only they'd pinged it a little earlier, there'd almost certainly have been a different outcome. I know now what superpower I'd want - to be able to make the pain better for people who've had to suffer too much through fate's fickleness.
My husband died of sepsis. Out of nowhere. Friday he’s fine. Monday in the hospital. Thursday gone. We have 2 kids.10 and 7. Each illustration is a window into my life.
Load More Replies...Boy it does! it knocks you off your feet sometimes. a horrible rush of pain!
I know this pain, all to well, you see the world walking on, you see people moving, talking, smiling, living... then you see your self, from the inside and you'd like to scream so loud it would shake the planet, I'M NOT OK TODAY~ instead you just walk on, oh the tears that fall, the heart that, amazingly beats, while lying in pieces, forever.
Man I feel so bad for this guy. I don't know if the drawings make him feel better or worse...I hope better.
Scattering ashes around a tree, brings her to you through a living monument!!
it will come so slowly watching your children you had with your lovely wife will fill you with so much pride - she will be looking down and warching
I wondered if the doctors ran every possible test available to diagnose sepsis. Sepsis has been around for a long time; combat medics know about it, and how to test for it, and how to catch it early and treat it. I am a bit amazed that the medical doctors this woman saw did not run every test. They missed something. Sepsis is treatable if caught early enough and aggressive treatment started. A friend developed Sepsis in a clinic in Mexico; she was in a lot of pain, went to a doctor here, and Sepsis was found. The infection left her sterile, but not dead. There is a missing part in this story.
If you can start to feel more positive then you are winning. There's no rush.
my heart still breaks with certain memories after 59 years - you cope but a part of her will be with you always
This one is sad, but what really did me in is when I noticed that he still wears his wedding ring, and includes it in the drawings. For some reason that broke me.
I know it's tempting but you are right. Don't do it until you are strong enough to cope with the feelings that will be dredged up.
now you've got it.. one day at a time... sometimes one hour at a time.. all will get better . in your own time..
Just move away from that glass of wine, I had some bad experiences.
Grief is one the step of the healing but try to look to the bright side of your life is two beautiful girls that is proof that she still with body in your kids and soul in you heart and every beautiful moment you have together, cherish every moment with your kids and celebrate your wife legacy every moment you can
My mother died when I was 7 and my sister was 10. This picture reminds me a lot of the time after her being gone. That‘s 26 years ago now... it gets better of course, but there will always be an empty spot in my heart...
I'm crying and thinking of us human beings. Isolated as we are in our shells, atomic as we are in an overwhelmingly large world... we still naturally feel other's pain and feel together
Cry as much as you can and then all go to bed together. Tomorrow will be a tiny bit better.
The star that glows the brightest and that catches our eyes when we look up,.....it is the only star that relates to our loved ones .....so we know they are looking and shining upon us
Now I'm crying. How beautifully he has drawn her, captured her essence.................,
He loved his wife soon much. This is hard to even read. Imagine how much it hurts him??? Amazing he is getting through it.
Sorry, but you have the wrong expression. It's 'crocodile tears' and that is probably not what you meant either, because it means an insincere display of emotion.
Load More Replies...The picture of your wife is lovely, she was a very beautiful lady, and you will see much of the mother in the children, it will warm your heart !!!
Whisky and stranger things... sounds like a good night to me... but im 14 so lets make the whiskey orange juice.
it will be more fun if the kids get involved and you all work together . great bonding and terrific life skills. involve them in all you can. tip. if you do it all you are taking away there power . teach them independence. and the work will be done faster [after a bit] and they off you guys go to do some fun stuff.
I can't keep looking at these, I'm going to cry at work. They are beautiful
She really is amazing, isn't she? (I'm guessing she's a lot like Mum?) x
They are always with us. This day makes it a bit easier. I always light a candle for them
Hey man you are doing a 3k run with your kids!!! Lesser men (like me) would be getting drunk or nursing a hangover. You are stronger than you think! Keep going!
Children give the comfort and love, that only children can give !!!
Omg I have been literally sobbing while reading this. You guys are so strong, I know that you will make it through this ❤️❤️
The first year seems to be the worst, after that you gradually get stronger, the children and the memories will be more comforting !!!
I've been on that rollecoaster for the last 18 months. The up's start lasting longer and longer, but it's a good 14 months before it does
presence are comforting .....even when ppl are not around us.....we feel them , and miss them ....but we smile as we know they are here somewhere
They certainly are! I feel so much for this guy and his little family - wishing them all all the very best in Life, and inner Peace. Beautifully written, cathartic and healing. Thank you so much for sharing! xx
Load More Replies...This really explains the feeling of losing your life partner. My husband died on New Years Day. Your line of "with whom it all made sense" is so true. The inside jokes, the person to share the silly stories about your kids with, someone to just empty your heart to. It leaves a void that no one can fill. But we find new ways of sharing, and new people to share with. I have loved your pictures. They are a wonderful illustration of this strange new life we are in. Thank you.
My Mother passed away when I was 10 as well. I'm now 52 & still not over it.....
I'm so sorry. My mother died when I was 56. I still miss her every single day. And no, I won't "get over it" either. I'm not sure I need to. <3
Load More Replies...A very dear friend of mine died just a month ago. All the songs are sad right now.
stay strong brother......she is always there and always will be .......ur love and bond is pure......
the old humors are back though you're still grieving "grieving humor"
I can totally relate. It's the dreams that kill you. Some natural sleep aids can help but don't drink till you pass out. I did that and it took years to break the habit.
Melatonin is excellent. I don't drink often due to family history of alcoholism, but yeah, it can be a terrible habit to break.
Load More Replies...if you work out during the day outside long walks etc. you will be able to sleep I keep a pillow at my back it helps.
ohh stop it man...u are making me cry with all this post.....its such a beautiful feeling ur are passing to me....i never wanna lose the person that i love the most.....RIP for your wife.....she seems a kind hearted person and ur love shows in all the post......may god bless u and ur family
The inability of medical doctors to discover sepsis is puzzling. Sepsis has been around for a very long time; combat medics are familiar with it and how to catch it early and treat it aggressively. There are many forms and manifestations of sepsis. The doctors missed something; they didn't run every test out there. Sepsis is not a mysterious illness. It can start from a small cut. This was a death too soon, preventable and tragic.
This was great Grief is so long it does get better but tears and that chocking feeling are never far away my grief is my son. This is a club no-one should ever join!
It's been over 12 years since I lost my Mum, but I feel I never had a chance to grieve properly. I had a 15 month-old daughter, so had to let it slip in whenever there was a 'free' moment. It's always around, and I am hopeful that it will get easier. I miss her so much!
Load More Replies...I had to stop reading these after the first page because I started crying in study hall. I wish you the best
me too. I'm crying at work. so emotional & powerful
Load More Replies..."What do you miss about her?"... And Ben said,"Everything." The heaviest word I have ever heard...
I lost my mother at age 15. It'll be 30 years ago in November. I still miss her.
My mother died when I was 60; I still miss her and always will. My sister still misses her. When you are fortunate enough to have a really good mother, you will miss her forever after she is gone. The widower in this story has wonderful memories, no regrets for things he didn't do for her. He will always miss her; the children will miss her; however, their lives will move forward into a future. He can make new memories with his children. Perhaps he might even meet someone when he is ready, and start a new life. As someone once wrote, nothing is forever except death and taxes. He is still alive; he needs to find a way to live now. His children are aware of his grief; that does not help them with theirs. It might help them to see him returning to some kind of normal. There are meds which can put you on an even keel and keep you there. Has he seen a psychiatrist? They are also medical doctors and can prescribe medication if necessary.
Load More Replies...Absolutely heartbreaking and sincerely true, what a amazing father and husband this man is. Keep going strong, your doing an amazing job and your wife would definitely be proud of you xx
It's exactly a year today since my mum passed suddenly so couldn't go past 1st page. I think I'm sadder for my dad than me after this :(
I've enjoyed Bored Panda for a long time and this is the first one that made me ugly/beautiful cry. Today's also my bday- you've inspired me to keep living my best life ever with my family. Thanks for being so achingly vulnerable.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are doing a great job. These pictures will mean so much to your kids as they grow. Bless you.
I had to stop reading these after the first page because I started crying in study hall. I wish you the best
me too. I'm crying at work. so emotional & powerful
Load More Replies..."What do you miss about her?"... And Ben said,"Everything." The heaviest word I have ever heard...
I lost my mother at age 15. It'll be 30 years ago in November. I still miss her.
My mother died when I was 60; I still miss her and always will. My sister still misses her. When you are fortunate enough to have a really good mother, you will miss her forever after she is gone. The widower in this story has wonderful memories, no regrets for things he didn't do for her. He will always miss her; the children will miss her; however, their lives will move forward into a future. He can make new memories with his children. Perhaps he might even meet someone when he is ready, and start a new life. As someone once wrote, nothing is forever except death and taxes. He is still alive; he needs to find a way to live now. His children are aware of his grief; that does not help them with theirs. It might help them to see him returning to some kind of normal. There are meds which can put you on an even keel and keep you there. Has he seen a psychiatrist? They are also medical doctors and can prescribe medication if necessary.
Load More Replies...Absolutely heartbreaking and sincerely true, what a amazing father and husband this man is. Keep going strong, your doing an amazing job and your wife would definitely be proud of you xx
It's exactly a year today since my mum passed suddenly so couldn't go past 1st page. I think I'm sadder for my dad than me after this :(
I've enjoyed Bored Panda for a long time and this is the first one that made me ugly/beautiful cry. Today's also my bday- you've inspired me to keep living my best life ever with my family. Thanks for being so achingly vulnerable.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are doing a great job. These pictures will mean so much to your kids as they grow. Bless you.
