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Accepting the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, is the quickest way to grow. When you no longer cling to delusions and illusions, you can work through a lot of your problems incredibly quickly. Your reward? A life well-lived!
Inspired by u/Rare_Can_5418, the members of the world-famous r/AskReddit community opened up about the most difficult truths about life they know that make your life much better. Well, once you’ve accepted them, that is. Scroll down for a bitter but eye-opening dose of wisdom.
We wanted to learn more about facing uncomfortable truths, so we reached out to Jodi Wellman, MAPP, the founder of 'Four Thousand Mondays' and the author of the book 'You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.' Wellman shed some light on the so-called 'Big Five existential concerns' human beings have. Read on for the insights she shared with Bored Panda.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
No celebrity or politician deserves your worship.
Russell Rieckenberg 1 year ago
And, since it's that time again, you shouldn't give a flying blip-bleep what candidate a celebrity endorses.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
When talkies first became popular, some movie mogul said "who wants to hear an actor talk?"
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R Ferreira 1 year ago
We have a saying here at Brazil, "não tenha um político de estimação": don't treat a politician like a pet.
According to Wellman, it's natural to be uncomfortable about our temporariness. "Most healthy humans have a strong will to be alive and to stay alive. Knowing we won't be around forever is an admittedly dispiriting notion, even if we aren't consciously aware of this discomfort," she told Bored Panda in an email.
"Researchers have identified the 'Big Five existential concerns' we typically encounter: death, meaninglessness, isolation, freedom, and identity. Many anxieties stem from these hotspots, and being willing to face them—rather than avoid them—can help us live more fully."
RELATED:
#2
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”
- Jean-Luc Picard.
#3
You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
Don't I know it! There are some people who, the more you do for them the worse they treat you.
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
I didn't recognize it at first. This is, however, very true!
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Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
TBH, there are certain creeps to whom I hope I am the villain. Serves 'em right.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I'm usually the villain in other people's stories and I'm not sure what I did. I try to stay out of the way and let people make their own mistakes.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago
If you look at them failing and go 'bwahahaha' maybe they don't take it very well /s
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albernistuff 4sale 1 year ago
We are all the protagonist in our own story. Except me.. I am the NPC in my own game.
Bored Panda asked Wellman what we can all do to be more open and accepting of the world as it actually is, rather than what we'd prefer it to be like. She explained to us that it's believed that in order for us to reach our full potential, we need to come to terms with those five inescapable parts of the human condition.
"Death awareness can create even deeper meaning and gratitude for the lives we’re fortunate to get to live... even if we'd really rather bury our heads in the sand and not talk about or think about our 'limited time only' situation," she said.
#4
There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return.Focus on your heart value more than what others have.
Stephanie Barr 1 year ago
The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
albernistuff 4sale 1 year ago
"Comparison is the thief of joy" - some person much smarter than me
#5
Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke.
iseefractals 1 year ago
Plenty of people know what they're doing....but those around them don't know, understand or care, and because they either don't know, or are simply afraid that they don't know what they're doing, they tell themselves that no one else does either. That said, yes the vast majority of people are functionally stupid, but you can't paint everyone with the same brush.
Roger9er 1 year ago (edited)
Only when you drive a car, then you should act like every other participant in traffic doesn't know what tf they're doing.
Load More Replies... Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I graduated with people from high school that shouldn't have graduated from high school.
Papa 1 year ago
Judging from the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in OP's post he or she is one of them. Those of you that it doesn't bother, or think it doesn't matter, may proceed to down vote me now.
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Alvia Vseobecna 1 year ago
yes.. but you can choose to have as much peace by yourself as you want. that is possible
#6
1. Life is unfair. (Once you accept this, you will feel better.)
2. Good deeds usually go unrewarded. (If you are doing a good deed for a reward, you are doing it for the wrong reason.)
3. You will never be able to explain anything to someone who is unwilling or unable to listen. (If you try, you will, at minimum, be frustrated and waste your time.).
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
#3 is useful when you read idiots comments on news stories and health related articles on Facebook or other social media.
Data1001 1 year ago
Oh man, the number of times I've started to write a comment refuting someone's inane claims, only to suddenly realize, "Nope, it's not worth it," and delete it ...
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
Life is not unfair. Nor it is fair. Fairness has as much do with life as it does with algebra, music, or the phases of the moon. We must provide the fairness ourselves.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 year ago
It always bugs me when people ask "Why did this happen to me?" Because reason and fairness are human concepts, not universal concepts, and the universe is chaotic and random, and doesn't have the capacity to care about you
Load More Replies... Taibhse Sealgair 1 year ago
Rule 1 - Life is not fair. Rule 2 - There's nothing you can do to change Rule 1. Rule 3 - If you don't like Rule 2, see Rule 1.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
Sounds like the laws of thermodynamics: 1 - You can't win. 2 - You can't break even. 3 - You can't get out of the game.
Load More Replies... Cat Chat 1 year ago
I have a bunch of family members who are followers of an certain US political wannabe (thinks he was/is) leader. I know better than to even try and convince them otherwise. Except for my nephew who was having an actual civilized conversation about it. I showed him several unbiased news and fact check sites (ones that check all political figures). I was able to convince him of how bad he really is. He tried doing the same to the rest of the family. He finally told me "Thanks. And I now understand why you never tried convincing them like you did me".
"Research shows we’re better equipped to handle anxiety and appreciate life by 'trying death on for size' in even these subtle ways; some call it 'practicing death.' How do we do this, this subtle act of dipping our toes into the idea of our mortality? This often looks like:
- Interacting with people who are grieving;
- Pulling over for a funeral procession and imagining our own;
- Coming to terms with smaller losses in our lives—like lost jobs, friendships that fade, fizzled romances, great ideas that died on the vine at work, lost pets, even your basil plant that didn't make it through the season."
#7
Learn to say, "I don't know." You'll learn a whole lot more.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
This needs to be higher I feel. Too many people are afraid to say this. Or admit they were mistaking.
Fishpanda (fish/panda/it) 1 year ago
And even worse, some people are too stupid to ever realize they are mistaken.
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Fabian Bernard 1 year ago
My mentor always said " It's better to ask a question and look stupid for one minute than never asking and staying stupid forever ''
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
I think that was attributed to Ben Franklin. Maybe Mark Twain? "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
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Blondie23 1 year ago
Yeah, people are afraid to appear stupid. But admitting that you don't know does the opposite. It shows you are aware of your knowledge gaps and by admitting it out loud you open the door for someone to teach you and for you to learn! It's liberating if you use it correctly. If you say IDK in a way that shows you are willing to learn you can expand your knowledge so much more!
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
If the expert I'm talking with says "I don't know," that's my sign that (s)he is an ACTUAL expert.
Load More Replies... iseefractals 1 year ago
If you're always the smartest person in every room you enter, you're going in the wrong rooms.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
If you're the kind of person who feels weak or stupid saying "I don't know.", try this. Hit the table with your fist and say "That's what I want to know!" Do this enough, and you'll might even get promoted.
#8
You can't trust your employer. Ever.
R Dennis 1 year ago
My first job, I was at for 18+ years. He co-signed my first car, lent me a tux for my wedding, paid for all my meals on my honeymoon, gave my stepkids free meals at his restaurant on their prom nights... if it wasn't for the economy, I would have stayed. I absolutely could trust him and he did treat the staff like family. He just couldn't afford to keep me because of the economy, so I showed him how to eliminate my position and save some money. I still came in and helped out where I could before he was forced to close.
Cat Chat 1 year ago
Unfortunately, those bosses are rare, and the exception to the rules. My mom had a boss who helped employees like that...then she had to testify against him when it was found out he was involved with toxic dumping.
Load More Replies... Edward Loopyderm 1 year ago
If I could upvote this twice I would. They ain't your family, you are a number in a spreadsheet.
Sandra Morison 1 year ago
Always 2 sides .......some employers, especially in smaller business can be like family 🙄 .......but I don't trust my family🤣
#9
No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
Nah, no need to save myself. World is going to carp anyway. I'm just going to find a good seat and watch while it all burns around me.
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
Meanwhile, depending on where you live, you can still vote.
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Wendy Hamilton 1 year ago
I disagree. Ask for help. There are a lot of resources in your town/city. Give them a chance to help you. It takes a lot of courage but please do so.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
While I think it's good advice to be self-sufficient, please know that there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Yes, sometimes you must ask. Don't sit around waiting for help & then get discouraged when you don't get the results you want. As a species, we can be a bit self involved, but we also have the capacity to really show up for the people that need us. We care, we're simply not psychic.
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
I think this may be inaccurate. There very well could be somebody. However, it might not be who you want and they might not provide the help you need in a way that's beneficial to you. They may just take advantage of you in your current circumstance.
Wellman said that these are gentle ways to accept our mortality. These don't involve having to personalize the experience. "We might not 'warm up' to the idea of our finitude, but we can definitely take the chill off the unfortunate truth of it all."
Being aware of our mortality can help us appreciate life more and live courageously. You can use the calculator on the 'Four Thousand Mondays' website to see how many Mondays you probably have left to enjoy. (Trust us, it's a good jolt to get us doing what we've always wanted to do.) Meanwhile, be sure to also take a peek at Wellman's book, 'You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.'
#10
You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help.
Lowrider 56 1 year ago
This is very true, especially when trying to get clean and sober. Unless the person wants it, there is absolutely nothing you can do. I knpw from experience and 13 years sober.
#11
Nobody cares.
This is the best and worst news of all time.
Nobody, outside a few close people, is thinking about you other than in passing. They’re all the main character in their movie. A few years after you die, the world will mostly forget you. This is bad news.
It’s also very freeing. Throw off your worry and your shame. Live life to the fullest! You’re free from the judgement of people who don’t have time to care. This is amazing news.
The sooner you accept it, the better your life will be.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Once you realize this, you start to dress the way you want and do the things you want without feeling judged. If you want to dress like a slob, which I do, then do so! No one cares in the end about any of this.
Toothless Feline 1 year ago
And anyone not close to you who *does* care in a judgmental way deserves to be ignored and dismissed.
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greenideas 1 year ago
I once heard someone say: "Don't complain to others; half the people won't care and the other half will be happy it's happening to you."
Lowrider 56 1 year ago
I learned long ago to not care what others think about me. I am who I am. I know what is in my heart.
The Queen Of France 1 year ago
YES!!! This! Nobody is paying attention! Wear what you want! Be the best you that you can and make yourself happy! If people have a problem it’s just that. Their problem. Not your problem.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
Working in retail, I frequently have customers who are embarrassed about the products they are buying--feminine hygiene, diarrhea medicine, etc--and I always want to reassure them: not only do I not care about what you're buying, but five minutes after you're gone I'm not even going to remember you.
#12
Happiness isn’t a constant state, and that’s normal.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago (edited)
I should show this to my brother. He thinks just because I was having an off day, automatically means I have depression or something.
albernistuff 4sale 1 year ago
"Seek not happiness; it is impossible to be happy all the time. Seek instead contentment" - another person much smarter than me. :)
Debbie 1 year ago
While going through divorce, I was happy and also not happy. I felt my life was heading in the good direction and it felt good. This was happiness to me, it doesn't mean walking around smiling and having lots of energy. I was content with how life was flowing although the ride sometimes bruised me. I liked the river, I liked the destination and the sometimes rocky journey was necessary to keep the momentum going. This mental image is part of the reason i got a huge tattoo of 4 (5) elements. Earth, water, fire, air and lastly, the spirit. (It's a glass-in-lead scene surrounded by flowers)
Page intentially left blank 1 year ago
Sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down - but you're never either one for very long.
LizzieBoredom 1 year ago
Said George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. (inventor of the Ferris Wheel).
Load More Replies... A definite bolt from the blue for some is the fact that exercise and nutritious dieting—while absolutely essential—are far from enough to live a long, happy, and healthy life. To put it bluntly, if you ignore your relationships and your social life is in tatters, your physical, mental, and emotional health is at risk.
Social fitness is just as (and arguably even more) important than physical fitness.
The CDC reports that a third of adults in the United States report feeling lonely. Meanwhile, a quarter of American adults report not having social and emotional support. There’s a social isolation and loneliness epidemic in the US, and it’s a problem that’s very worth solving.
#13
Human Resources works for the company, not for you.
BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
But while it IS true that Human Resources works for the company, it's very important to remember that human resources are the company's way of attempting to combat bad bosses. Bosses that drive away talent; that pay less than an employee is worth to the company; that are abusive, manipulative, sexist or racist; that micromanage; that promote cronies; or that stifle career progress are all bad for the company. A good HR department makes good employees happy to stay with the company.
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Leigh James 1 year ago
"Human Resources is not human nor resourceful - discuss amongst yourselves." SNL
Allen Schleeter 1 year ago
Even with a union "their" first concern is that the contract is being followed correctly.
Scott Rackley 1 year ago
HR has one singular purpose and no other. To protect the company from lawyers. That's the whole mission statement.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
HR looks out for the interests of HR. Then the company and then the employees.
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
Human resources can only work on evidence. Keep a paper trail. Get in the habit of making notes after phone calls - time, date, person, and a short description of what was said. If a colleague is being problematic, keep a diary of times, places etc. HR will help you if you help yourself, but they can't do anything with "he said, she said".
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
Job hunting tip: If you want to work for a certain large company, don't contact HR - contact the department where you want to work.
Kharyss 1 year ago
I don’t know where this misconception that HR is on the side of the employee has come from. Having worked in HR for 25 years I can tell you categorically that we’re not. We are a department like any function. You wouldn’t expect Marketing or Finance to actively work against the company. So why HR? We are employees just like you. We have targets and KPI’s to meet. We are on the same payroll. We often have many of the same complaints or frustrations as you do. What we try to do is make sure we’re hiring the right people for the right jobs. That those people are paid correctly according to their T&C’s. That they’re adequately trained and have the necessary skills to do their roles. And that any workplace disputes are handled in a fair, equitable and legal manner. But we’re not everybody’s friend. If you want someone to fight your corner, join a union. If not, then the best we can do is tell you what your rights are, what the process is and give some advice on how to go about things.
#14
Good people get tired of spreading kindness to ungrateful, angry people.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I keep quiet. It seems the more you try to help some people, the more angry they get with you. Not worth it.
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
If you're doing good in expectation of thanks then you're not doing it for the right reasons. The people who most need kindness are also those going through the most trauma and pain. It is to be expected that they aren't going to be the sweetest, most grateful people all the time.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Good people may appreciate gratitude, but they don't expect it. They know that's not the point.
Stephanie A Mutti 1 year ago
It is exhausting and frustrating but someday maybe it will just feel good to do it regardless of the outcome. Maybe.
#15
Cheap, s****y shoes are doing you no favors.
Susan 1 year ago
I did this for YEARS and finally my body screamed NO! So now I wear orthopedic shoes every day and feel so much better at the end of the day.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
That is extremely true. Don't buy shoes for fashion or because, "they're cute." Your feet, and body for that matter, will pay in the end.
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
I got some high-heels - once. I got them through Freecycle with some other items. I wore them once.
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Šimon Špaček 1 year ago
Try work boots. They are made to last and quite often do not cost a fortune.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Actually they keep me away of walking barefoot. I never can save enough for shoes, so I wear cheap Chinese or second handed
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
Do your research. For example - Doc Martens boots are expensive, but no longer high quality since they moved their manufacturing to Taiwan. The original factory still produces boots that are identical in quality to the old style ones but don't have the yellow stitching.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
I bought a pair of Taiwanese Docs because I didn't know any better. They cut holes in a lot of socks, and drew a lot of blood from my Achilles' tendon area. They hurt too much, and I gave up.
Load More Replies...The impact of social isolation and loneliness is massive. To be very blunt, it greatly reduces the quality of your life and increases the chance of an earlier death.
Socially isolated and lonely individuals have a greater chance of getting heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, and dementia, among other illnesses and conditions.
#16
In general, people *in the real world* are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip in their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I don't worry. If someone takes some sort of interest in something about me, that alone shows what poor judgement they have.
#17
Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself.
There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you. .
Susie Elle 1 year ago (edited)
Depending on someone and expecting people to help you always beyond their limits are two different things. You can depend on a person, but it's still your life, your issues, your celebrations and your responsibility to manage yourself. Which is very normal and healthy, by the way.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
TO be blunt, no one wants to hear your about your issues when they have their own.
The Queen Of France 1 year ago
However - when you think you have to face big and scary things alone, you might find that there are a lot of people who will gladly help you.
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
This becomes more true as you age and or as you experience more things in life. You may not be as special as you think you are to somebody else to fully support your existence.
#18
Death comes for everyone, eventually; it's a sobering reminder to hold your loved ones tight. .
geezeronthehill 1 year ago
You're here for a while, then you're gone. Try to improve things while you're here, but don't expect a reward.
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
One day there will be a generation of people who live for an exceptionally long period of time, if not forever. Do you think you are this generation? It's unlikely.
Sandra Morison 1 year ago
Enjoy life ......focus on you, your family and closest friends ....look for positives
The people most at risk of social isolation and loneliness tend to have chronic diseases, psychiatric conditions, or long-term disabilities. Other at-risk groups include the marginalized and discriminated against, people who live in rural areas, those with limited transportation, and anyone who can’t speak the local language.
Other folks affected by social isolation include those who have lost a loved one, are unemployed, or are facing a divorce. Older adults, people living alone, and low-income individuals are also at risk.
#19
You cannot love someone into loving you back.
Blondie23 1 year ago
This is a really sad truth! I was beating my head against a wall for years trying to get my first husband to love and care about me.... we ended up divorced. My current husband is the complete opposite. He loves me and cares about me and wants to be with me. Totally shows me the difference! If you are having a hard time getting someone to love you then walk away. Trust me. the pain you feel leaving is far less than the pain you feel trying to make them love you!
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
How do people achieve to be loved? "Just be yourself" doesn't work. Love yourself didn't help, so I broke my brains trying to figure it and it seems that maybe being the meanest I can, will do. Because mean people always have an army of people who love, support, indulge and care about them.. and they always seem to forgive everything mean brat jerks do.
Load More Replies... Magenta Blu 1 year ago
But, if you have enough money you can pay for people to listen to you, to give advice, and to pretend to care
#20
Not everything you don't like is "trauma" or "toxic". Maybe sometimes you're actually the problem. Self-reflection is a lost art.
iseefractals 1 year ago
The same for racist/sexist/phobic. That you are ______ and you dislike something that was said or an outcome that has befallen you, doesn't mean it's the result of hatred, bigotry or discrimination. YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO NEVER BE OFFENDED. That you are offended doesn't mean you've been wronged, your feelings are your own to deal with.
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
As a white person, I don't have the right to tell a person of colour that something is or isn't racist. I benefit from a system that privileges white people, so something that seems trivial *to me* might be, in fact, very oppressive to someone else. I have a responsibility to acknowledged if I've wronged someone, even unintentionally, because of my privileged position as a white person. I don't have to deal with the constant microaggressions of racism and, even if I didn't meant to hurt someone, I *may well have* and it's my responsibility to say I'm sorry and learn from it. It doesn't hurt *me* to say those things and makes the world a better place because I've learned something from it I can use in the future.
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Colleen Glim 1 year ago
If you are offended, that’s a you problem. Too many people have lost sight of this
#21
Your lack of planning doesn't constitute an emergency for others. It sucks but seriously, always have a back up plan for everything and be as well organised as you can.
Colleen Glim 1 year ago
If the store is closed when you get there, accept that you messed up and retail workers have lives too
RosenCranzLives 1 year ago
Ugh. I worked retail for about 20 years. So bloody true.
Load More Replies... Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
Seriously try your best. ✨ That's all any of us are doing anyway, and your friends will appreciate the efforts.
A decades-long study from Harvard found that our positive relationships make us more resilient. We recover from stress more easily, and we end up living longer, healthier, and happier lives.
So, with that in mind, it’s not just enough to get your 10,000 daily steps in or avoid processed food. You have to consistently put in focused effort to strengthen the connection between you and the people you care about the most. The difficult truth is that without a flourishing real-life social circle, your life won’t be as great, no matter how big your muscles, bank account, and follower count might be.
#22
You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning.
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
A long-time friend of mine suddenly lost everything, and couch-surfed with his many friends for a few years before I let him stay at the townhouse where I lived - I had an extra room. He stayed with me the last 2 1/2 years of his life.
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
I knew a man who had the dream life. He loved his job, had a mortgage on a lovely countryside home, and his wife was pregnant with his first baby. It turned out that his wife had invented the pregnancy and there never was a baby - she showed him fake ultrasounds. On her 'due date' she disappeared and he never saw her again. He had a breakdown and lost his job, so he could no longer afford the house. I don't know where he ended up.
#23
You don't have to floss all of your teeth
Just the ones you want to keep.
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
There's still very little evidence to suggest that flossing makes any difference. If you like doing it then go ahead, but it's not backed up by any science.
Cat Chat 1 year ago
That gunk everyone gets when flushing... evidence it works.
Load More Replies... #24
That some people won't like you. And sometimes for no reason.
troufaki13 1 year ago
We also don't like some people sometimes for no reason. When we realize that it will be easier.
Data1001 1 year ago
Yep, there are a few people who I developed an instant dislike for, and can't tell you why, other than there was something really "off" about them. I'm willing to admit that I may have been completely mistaken, however, and that perhaps others have thought that same thing about me.
What are the hardest and most uncomfortable truths you’ve ever had to face? How has accepting them improved your lives, dear Pandas?
What advice would you give someone who’s feeling overwhelmed with everything at the moment?
We’d love to hear what you think, so if you have a spare minute, drop by the comments section to share your opinions.
#25
This is more of a saying, but I feel it helps shed light on a few things: "we judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."
IOW people are going to look at you for what you do and your intentions are mostly irrelevant.
Liz Reid 1 year ago (edited)
I thought that too! I mean they do call tourists haemaroids because they hang round in bunches and turn red! Told that by my mum who is from the IoW.
Load More Replies... featherytoad 1 year ago
In Other Words. This is not how abbreviations work. You can't just make them up and expect people to know them.
#26
That you have to put in hours and hours of work to get better at something, but it’s worth it. Life is long and it’s worth it to develop skills.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
Enjoy the development of the skill, not just having the skill. It's so cool to do something, first kinda suck at it and then eventually see yourself become pretty good at it.
Papa 1 year ago
That reminds me of something I read. A famous golfer was giving an interview, and he said that people would occasionally tell him they'd do anything to be able to play golf as well as he did. He'd reply "Would you practice eight hours every day, rain or shine, sometimes until your hands bleed?"
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Yeah.. but my best in everything is barely mediocre... Which is frustrating.
#27
You can’t change the past, but you can decide what to do next.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
The past will stick on you like pine tar though. You can only change the present and therefore your future.
Lowrider 56 1 year ago
True, but you don't have to let your past control your future.
Load More Replies... Lowrider 56 1 year ago
I always like to say that you don't have to let your past control your future
#28
Karma isn't real. Bad people will succeed.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
And being always nice, good and helpful just gets you misused and guilted by others.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
If someone abuses the fact that I am "nice, good and helpful" then I have learnt a valuable lesson about them and I will direct my goodness towards others in future. I'll still feel good about myself though.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Karma is misunderstood as a term - it's your action, not the result. It's not a reward system.
Roger9er 1 year ago
Indeed, it is only the sum of your actions, nothing more.
Load More Replies... ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
I don't know about karma not being real. But I believe the second half.
Ryan Jenny Kidd 1 year ago
That isn’t how karma works, it’s much more complex than this basic application. Learn about it.
AD Sully 1 year ago
Caveat: Bad people succeed but bad people use terrible methods (think bridge burning and scorched earth) and those always, always come home to roost. Usually in the form of crippling loneliness as they age. Karma is real, it's called consequences. We just don't recognize them easily.
#29
Don’t “just be yourself”. No one has ever succeeded without putting in a level of effort that makes them uncomfortable.
Roger9er 1 year ago (edited)
There are dozens, if not hundreds, different versions of yourself. Not in other dimensions, but simply in how others see you. One person sees you as a loser, another sees an example of how he would like to be. The version you have of yourself, does not exist for others.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
"O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us / To see oursels as ithers see us!"
Load More Replies... #30
You have to go to the DMV. You just do.
michael reid 1 year ago
It's an all encompassing statement I believe meaning no matter who or where you are, you have to deal with bureaucracy at some point.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 year ago
They could just say that instead of referencing a specific bureaucratic entity that's specific to a particular country
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 year ago
My husband is nearly 60 and has never had a driving licence either.
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ThisIsMyDisplayName 1 year ago
Not if you don't drive (wish I'd learnt, but I think the world's a tiny bit safer without me in charge of a vehicle).
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago (edited)
I mean cars don't need to be licensed and inspected anymore, why does my driving? (For reference I think cars should pass basic safety standards to be on the road, but my state doesn't!)
geezeronthehill 1 year ago
Here we have to set up an appointment months ahead to go to the DMV.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
Fortunately where I live most of what has to be done at the DMV can now be done online, with the exception of your 10-year vision test.
Load More Replies... Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I bought my car recently online and I didn't have to at all thankfully. I haven't had to go to the DMV in years now.
#31
There are many things that are out of your control.
iseefractals 1 year ago
Most things are out of your control. "You" on the other hand, your thoughts, feelings, words and actions are wholly within your own control.
Susan 1 year ago
Unless you have invasive thoughts. Then those are also out of your control.
Load More Replies... #32
If people want to spend time with you, they WILL.
#33
Even the best bands have critics, Even the worst bands have fans. Same applies to movies. Tv shows and video games.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
And if you don't like critics and insist on only fans, I hear there's some sort of website set up for that.
#34
Time heals, but it doesn't erase.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
You're a better person than me. I don't forgive or forget.
Load More Replies... Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Time doesn't completely heal. Somethings will always bring pain. Sometimes that pain gets smaller with time and then is at least tolerable.
#35
Some people are just a******s. Has nothing to do with you. Let it go and let them be miserable.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Some people are just a******s in the context you deal with them. They may be fine otherwise. After all, you wouldn't expect an a*****e to be a model of consistency.
#36
If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Yeah, not good to stalk! Also, why bother someone who doesn't want you around? Would you want the same done to you?
#37
Not all friendships last.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
People and times change. Both of those things change, and sometimes end, friendships.
#38
Just because you're right, doesn't mean people will agree with you and might work against you either way.
My wife struggles with this. She has an idea that works and gets the company more money, but the owner and other workers are against it because they disagree with it. Even with the evidence that it works better for them financially.
All the data in the world won't change the mind of a person who won't listen.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
I stopped approaching my control freak boss with efficiency options that would save him money because he refuses to change his business structure. This is costing him a lot of money. I have also stopped listening to him whine about how much money he is having to spend running the same business.
Cinti Jack 1 year ago
People often confuse the term belief versus knowledge. They say they know something when they only believe it. Knowledge is based on facts and frequently changes based upon new information. Beliefs are immutable and not subject to logic nor reality.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
You can't reason someone out of a position that they didn't get reasoned into.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago
If you want a change, make people come to your conclusion by themselves, so they won't fight against it.
Stephanie A Mutti 1 year ago
People aren't moved by data, they're moved by feelings. The trick is to turn data into a feeling they can receive.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
As far as work goes, no one listens to a word I say, so it's best to keep quiet and keep your head down. Don't bring attention to yourself.
#39
"Not everything is a lesson, sometimes you just fail" - Dwight Schrute. I think being able to accept failure and move on from it is quite important. You might try and fail despite doing everything right. But it's important to be able to try again.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
The only experience that is truly a failure is one you don't learn from. Or as Nelson Mandela said, "I never lose. Either I win or I learn."
iseefractals 1 year ago
If you're not failing, you're not trying, and if you're not trying how can you ever really accomplish anything? Failure isn't important, it's what you do after.
#40
Your happiness might upset others.
#41
People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for and filled with fun times, despite of any differences.
People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts.
#42
My troubles are of no concern to the outside world.
Flopsy 1 year ago
When I got stuck at the airport because I was pregnant and I didn’t have the right papers my doctor ran like crazy to complete the right forms, stamp them, scan them and send them to me. Whenever someone asks for my help I really do my best to help them. Ask for help and from my experience most people will make your troubles their concern.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
That's very true. I keep everything to myself unless someone asks specifically.
#43
Things are just things. They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
But things do have emotions attached to them by us. I have a useless ugly brass donkey,but it was my grandma's, so it triggers feelings for me while being very useless.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
If it brings you happy memories then it's not useless.
Load More Replies... iseefractals 1 year ago
It's not that the things have feelings, it's that the things elicit feelings in those who possess them. Things are a link to a moment in time. It's not that the thing itself is important, it's the memories that go along with it. A movie stub from a first date, a gift from a loved one, an item that was a shared activity with someone whose no longer alive. The things we collect are part of the story of our lives.
troufaki13 1 year ago
Oof! Why do I do this? Why do I believe that inanimate things have feelings? Especially if they get damaged or broken.. 😥
Dee Rutherford 1 year ago
I am trying to downsize. I have two grown children. That’s it. They have been given and taken, everything they want, so the rest goes to charity.
Lauren Matal (LaubenMafal) 1 year ago
i will never get rid of my dogs pink bunny, no matter how long he is gone. my new dog can have his other toys and tear them up, but the pink bunny will not be touched. like marie kondo says, if it sparks joy, then keep it.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
That might work for you but I like looking at the things I have collected during my travels, thanks.
Sue Denham 1 year ago
Sometimes things have the potential to be useful at some vague time in the future and that's why I have trouble decluttering.
#44
When you **actually accept**, not just understand, that there is no such thing as "*fair*", your life and your thoughts will be so much calmer.
#45
Its okay to be gay.
iseefractals 1 year ago
Yes, it is. However it's not ok for that, or any other identifier to be your entire personality.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
You go girl/boy/fill in the blank. Everyone deserves happiness of some sort.
#47
Happiness and satisfaction are *completely internal*, and based on what you have chosen to measure them by. No one, and no thing can make you happy unless you have chosen to let it.
This why there are so many miserable rich people, and people who have great lives that still unhappily yearn for "more".
iseefractals 1 year ago
This is like telling those with depression that they need to smile until they're happy. Satisfaction is fulfilling a need or desire, being satisfied is the sense of being fulfilled, happiness is a separate thing, that is rarely within our own control, and just because someone else's life looks "great" to you, means absolutely nothing. You're seeing the surface. You're standing at the curb looking at beautiful house, with no awareness of the fact that within the walls of that house, it's filled with sewage and rotting away. Ambition, is the reason humanity is no longer huddling naked in caves, it's the reason you go to work, talk to the cute stranger, go after the new job, or decide to hit the gym. It's all a balancing act, one that can't be solved, enhanced or improved with empty platitudes.
Papa 1 year ago
Maybe it's oversimplified, but that's not how I interpret it. I am convinced that most people are basically unhappy or, if not happy, at least content, because of whether they focus their emotional energy on the good or bad things in their life. Rich people have problems too, even if money isn't one of them, and it's a rare poor person that doesn't have good things going in his or her life.
Load More Replies... #48
It is easy to believe that everything is hopeless and terrible, because that means you don’t have to do anything about it because, apparently, it wouldn’t do anything anyway. There’s no point.
There is comfort in hopelessness.
So you can sit there, do nothing, believe that the world is in the hands of some mysterious insidious cabal, and coast believing the results would be the same whether or not you did anything between nothing and everything.
It’s much harder to accept that you have power, because that might entail some responsibility. The truth is, over your life, the lives of the people around you, and to some extent the world, what you do actually matters. And given the way the effects of our choices ripple beyond our ability to see them, probably in much larger ways than we realize.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Only way to get through life really. I can't change much of anything. People are awful, and are only getting worse. Common sense is eroding away. I can't change that.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
That's some good victim blaming in this post. Well done. Tell it to all of the people with depression or some other mental problem that makes making choices living he'll. I'm sure it will cure them instantly.
Papa 1 year ago
This is not victim blaming. This is saying that if you aren't happy with your situation, sitting around and moaning about it, and blaming external factors for it, will not make it better. In fact, many people use that as an excuse for not getting up off their butts and making it better.
Load More Replies... #49
Neighbors and coworkers don’t need to know everything about you. They’re not your friends.
Some of your *friends* are not the friends you need.
No response is a response.
Things that you care about will die eventually.
People are going to do what they do. However you fall into that is open to interpretation.
Maintain your physical and mental health the best you can.
Edit:
You won’t always get to say goodbye.
Your last moment may not be when you think or what you hoped for.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I don't speak with anyone at work unless I have to. I got burned once - never again.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
I wasn't able to be with my dear dad when he passed away. I got a call from the hospice at around 11pm saying that he was near his time, however this was Christmas Eve, my husband was at work on a night shift, I had nobody else to mind my daughters (aged 4 and 1 at the time) and I had no intentions of getting them out of bed on Christmas eve to take them to somewhere where they wouldn't understand what was going on. He passed away at around 2am on Christmas morning. I feel like I let him down at the end and that guilt has never left me.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago
If it was you dying and your daughters not able to reach you, would you be upset? I'm sure not. Your father knew how much you loved him and cared. He probably left thinking about his girl and how proud he was of you. Don't keep this guilt, he wouldn't like this for you.
Load More Replies... #50
Avoid seeking other people's approval... Be you.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
"When I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect." - Mark Twain
#51
Don't get into arguments on the internet. No one will change their mind.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
Excuse me, did you pay for the 5 minute argument or the full half hours?
Load More Replies... iseefractals 1 year ago
For better or worse, the internet is where most public discourse now takes place. There's the line "All it takes for evil to succeed, is for good people to do nothing" well, i've modified it a bit "all it takes for stupidity to spread, is for intelligent people to become comfortably apathetic when faced with that stupidity" No one can learn, if no one is willing to teach.
Richard Graham 1 year ago
The Grammar Police would like a word with you concerning subject-predicate agreement.
#52
You and you alone are your best ally and worst enemy all at the same time. Once you come terms with that, things will start to make some sense.
#53
You die. I mean, you really die. Like you only get one go at this. What a precious thing we have. One time. That's it.
No second chances. No redos. Gone.
The world goes on. We stop being alive. We don't go anywhere. Nothing happens.
All done.
No more.
That day is coming soon.
Live your life to its fullest.
Love yourself.
Love your family.
Tolerate your neighbor.
Lowrider 56 1 year ago
Also, the amount of people older than you will never increase.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago (edited)
Death is the last partner on your dance card. Enjoy the ball.
Mystery Kitteh 1 year ago (edited)
This is OPs truth, not everyones. Follow your own truth, don't be swayed by others.
Alyce 1 year ago
There is no 'your truth'. There is truth, which is fact-based and there is experience, which is personal.
Load More Replies... #54
Life's not fair, people will let you down, and not everyone will like you, but that’s okay.
#55
If they wanted to, they would.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
Of course, tell the blind to see and the lane to walk. They just aren't trying hard enough. In other words, this is just too much of a simplification.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
I would phrase this, "You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do." And that includes spending time with you or being your friend. Just move on. Not worth wasting your time.
#56
You are your best advocate. Nobody will treat you better than yourself.
#57
You need to provide the world with something for people to value you. There are so many people out there who think that they just deserve a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but if you're not giving anything if you don't offer anything, then you're not going to get the kind of person who offers you anything.
The same thing with friendships, friendships are about giving, it's not about what you want, it's about what you offer. And I'm not talking about financial stuff here, I'm talking about listening, being there when someone needs you, helping them.
When you hit your 20s, all you can think about is what the world can give to you, not about what you can offer. You need to offer something to be valuable to society.
iseefractals 1 year ago
Yes! You don't deserve anything just for existing. When it comes to things that you do, for yourself, you can decide what you do and don't deserve. But you do not get to dictate to others as to what you deserve from them. Not in a job, and not in relationship. That is not up to you, what you do with that information however, is.
Virgil Blue 1 year ago
I did that and they just took me for granded and droppen me as soon as they needed to put effort in.
#58
You're a child, always was, always will be. You may get wiser, stronger, older, and smarter with age, but you're still a large child who is selfish, hungry, and desperate for attention and validation. You can either deny it and become depressed, embrace it and become entitled, or simply accept it as part of your life and realize you were born to be happy and work towards making your inner child happy as often and responsibly as you can.
iseefractals 1 year ago
This is describing the Id, from which the Idiot is derived. Life is not about being happy, life is about finding meaning, and meaning rarely brings about happiness. It's hard, often thankless and full of struggle. The idea that everyone "DESERVES" to be happy is a big part of the reason humanity is hatefucking the planet into oblivion, pumping poison into the air, ground and water, while guzzling other poison into our bodies, that's making us fatter, lazier, stupider and more entitled by the day.
ColdSteelRonin 1 year ago (edited)
Idiot has nothing to do with the Id: The word "idiot" ultimately comes from the Greek noun ἰδιώτης idiōtēs 'a private person, individual' (as opposed to the state), 'a private citizen' (as opposed to someone with a political office), 'a common man', 'a person lacking professional skill, layman', later 'unskilled', 'ignorant', derived from the adjective ἴδιος idios 'personal' (not public, not shared). In Latin, idiota was borrowed in the meaning 'uneducated', 'ignorant', 'common', and in Late Latin came to mean 'crude, illiterate, ignorant'.[ In French, it kept the meaning of 'illiterate', 'ignorant', and added the meaning 'stupid' in the 13th century. In English, it added the meaning 'mentally deficient' in the 14th century.
Load More Replies... #59
Not all relatives are good for my mental health even if related by blood.
#60
When you're young, it feels a small thing to turn you back on society, but as the years go on, it can be a lonely place out there.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
Or sometimes society turns its back on you when you're young, and it's a lonely place.
#61
The person you thought was the love of your life may not think of you as the love of their life.
And that's ok.
We all see the world differently. Your happiness doesn't come from someone else. It comes from within.
#62
You will die just like everyone else.
Russell Rieckenberg 1 year ago
I really wouldn't mind at all if Boredpanda.com deleted duplicated posts. This is the third time the inevitability of death was mentioned in this thread.
Michael Largey 1 year ago (edited)
Well, if something's inevitable, that means it doesn't go away.
Load More Replies... #63
Life can never be without difficulties.
#64
Potato chips are completely unnecessary, and they'll keep shrinkflating so long as you keep paying the ever-increasing cost. You're allowing their unabashed greed.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
I'm "allowing their unabashed greed"? 🤣 Come on, dude! That could literally be applied to anything that you buy. Including the necessary things.
Richard Graham 1 year ago
The Biden Administration has pledged to make the United States the world's leader in chip manufacturing with the "Chips for America" Act of 2022.
#65
You're probably not gonna amount to Jack Squat.
cerinamroth 1 year ago
For people who love you, and who you love, you are the centres of each other's universe. I personally think that counts as a life well lived.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago (edited)
Says who?! It's MY life! I'll make something of myself if I want to!
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Those of us who went to high school with Jack never knew that he would be held up as a standard to live up to like this. Serial killer was more what we had in mind.
Joseph Dixon 1 year ago
In other people's minds perhaps. But again, that's relying on others for validation. No need to do that.
What do you think ?
wowbagger 1 year ago
One that's been hard for me to accept: I have to get out of my comfort zone and do things I'm afraid of on a regular basis. If I don't, my anxiety will expand and my life will shrink. It sucks.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
That's the definition of courage. You're afraid of the thing, but you do it anyway.
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wowbagger 1 year ago
One that's been hard for me to accept: I have to get out of my comfort zone and do things I'm afraid of on a regular basis. If I don't, my anxiety will expand and my life will shrink. It sucks.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
That's the definition of courage. You're afraid of the thing, but you do it anyway.
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