“What’s The Cringiest Thing You’ve Seen A Bride And Groom Do For Their Wedding?” (40 Answers)
Weddings are meant to be happy occasions—celebrating your vows of lifelong love, surrounded by the people you care about most in the world. And many happy couples believe that they should be able to do whatever they want during their wedding because, well, it’s theirs. Though that’s partly, true, there are plenty of things that marrying couples should definitely avoid doing. From asking for cash donations and being late to behaving way too stingy/liberal with the drinks.
Some wedding-weary internet users spilled the tea about the most cringy and tacky things they’ve ever seen couples do at their wedding, and the stories are spicy as heck. We’ve collected the most entertaining ones to share with you, so scroll down and take notes on what you want to steer clear of at your own wedding.
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Not the groom and bride’s fault. But the pastor marrying them, talked about his marriage and his kids for 20 minutes. He was obviously going for something of showing what marriage will be like. But he full up was talking about how his daughter, Kelsey, learned to walk this way, and his other daughter’s first words were this and that. And that he and his wife make love throughout the house because that’s what you do when in love, etc.
Bride and groom had to stand there holding hands for 20 minutes right in front of him as the other 150 of us had to listen about his sex life and his kids.
At a classmates’ wedding. They were young - maybe like 22? 23? There is apparently a caking tradition in some parts of the country, where when they cut the wedding cake, the couple feed each other a bit and smear each other’s faces with cake as a joke. The bride had absolutely made 1000% clear to the groom she did NOT want to be caked.
He did it anyways, and not just a small smear, but full on smushed the slice in her face. She was stunned initially, then got up, face full of cake, yelled “YOU A*****E I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!” and then ran to a back area in the reception. The groom tried to follow but the bridesmaids/mother of the bride stopped him. So he sat at the head table awkwardly while half the wedding party rushed off with the bride.
She stayed back there for like an hour. They eventually did let him back there to check on her. We could hear her crying and them arguing. The rest of the reception came to a screeching halt until one of the bride’s aunts emerged and directed the servers to clear the tables and put on some music.
They got divorced 2 years later.
He could have caked himself if it was so important 🙄
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I asked beforehand and she said No, and I did not. We are still married after 14 years.
I don't understand, please explain! Why would any sane person ask their partner, "Can I smash you in the face with some dessert in front of our families? We never do this normally but how about we ruin our nice clothes and our celebration? Doesn't cake in your nose and destroying your hair and makeup sound exhilarating?!"
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That is cause for annulment. She gave him a personal boundary and he chose to ignore it.
Definition: An annulment is a court ruling that a marriage was never valid. The most common ground for annulment is fraud and misrepresentation. For example, one person may not have disclosed to the other a prior divorce, a criminal record, an infectious disease.... So how did he misrepresent himself? Being a selfish díck isn't grounds for an annulment. 🙄
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It's never been funny. Especially for the bride - ruins her makeup and hair for the reception. Needs to stop. Just stupid
"Let's start our married life with me disrespecting and publicly humiliating you for the sake of my entertainment." Good thing they divorced but this is exactly why you grow up *before* you get married.
Went to a wedding where the groom is severely disabled. Bride decided she was gonna smash cake in his face and laughed "you can't do anything to me". Several of us (both men and women) demonstrated that he had helpers
Why would he marry someone who would even say such a thing?
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I mean, if your wife tells you she doesn't want to be smeared with cake...that's a pretty straightforward instruction. Wth.
My boss was at our wedding and reception and she kept shouting at me to smash the cake on my new husband's face. That wasn't going to happen. Why would I want to mess up his face and clothes (especially with his beard, lol) when it's his day too?
Yeah I felt this one. When boundaries are continually not just disregarded, but blatantly disrespected and flaunted in your face, even the seemingly small things become big things.
If he can’t respect a simple boundary request like that then the marriage is doomed to fail
Where and why is this a tradition? I’ve heard of it and assumed it was mostly an urban legend.
I've seen plenty of clips on YouTube of this happening. Maybe it's the same places that try to smash people's faces into birthday cake when they blow the candles out?
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Was he trying to assert his dominance over her or something? She clearly said no, and he did it anyways? And not even in the cute "oh, pookie, you got a smidgey-widgey on your nosey!" Smearing the cake is disrespectful.
I don't see how smashing food into someone's face on a day of unity is a thing. Poor gal, what a terrible experience, to be cake-slimed and feel humiliated in front of both families.
Why would he go full ln for something she clearly said she does not want? we associate certain actions with memory, good or bad. had a colleague who did not partake in Valentine's day stuff, cause his wife passed on that day, sometimes people try to convince him... maybe wife had bad experience with that, besides the fact that he did not respect her wishes
Did he not know how much costs the makeup, hairstyling and dress 😳 except the fact she explicitly told him no ....
So... They were married less than an hour, and he already abused her, humiliated her, violated ans assulted her. For laughs. Says everything about him.
I SEVERELY warned my ex husband prior to the wedding that I did NOT want to do the cake smash and WOULD NOT think it was funny and if he did it, I would leave
Wow, my husband was in a band that did lots of weddings. This story unfortunately is far more common than you would think. When our son and daughter were getting married he told both our son and futures SIL under no circumstances were they to do this. I went to a wedding where the groom hit the bride so hard she fell on the floor.
You had one no job and yet you felt compelled to do it any way, friend you are lucky she gave you 2 years to improve your listening skills
Imagine doing that with the old style Marzipan coated fruitcake wedding cakes. They're gonna be concussed.
Quote from an article "it is taken to mean the man is dominant while the woman is submissive in the relationship" https://www.cookist.com/heres-how-cake-smash-became-worldwide-birthday-tradition/#:~:text=It%20is%20interpreted%20as%20a,is%20submissive%20in%20the%20relationship.
I really hate that tradition. If both people are into it, that's fine, but neither of us wanted it, so we didn't. We were even given a surprise cake (with LOTS of cream, which I loathe) by the organiser for a "chance" to do it. We just cut it, posed for a photo, and walked away.
When my niece got married my sister was telling me about the wedding and, of course, the groom had to smoosh cake in the bride's face. I told her I hoped she didn't think it was funny. 😑
My wife gave me a bloody nose and i thought it was hilarious. It must of been the Canadian way.
I think this has less to do with sense of humor, and more to do with being able to respect a simple request from the one you're marrying. If your future wife tells you that she wouldn't find this funny and to please not do it, but you do it anyway, well, that's not being "funny", it's being completely disrespectful.
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They sang their vows to each other.
Neither had a singing voice.
Vows were generally bat s**t crazy, like submissive in the bedroom, and not asking about where she was going.
The autotune microphones were a terrible idea.
Their vow songs shared a chorus and it was awful and they expected the guests to sing along with the chorus.
The vows singing lasted 20 minutes.
Pure cringe.
Aww this could actually be kind of- "submissive in the bedroom" WHAT THE SHI-
The r/AskReddit thread made a huge splash. Redditor u/ajlposh’s question started a massive discussion, and at the time of writing their thread had over 80.7k upvotes. As it turns out, plenty of people have seen some pretty tacky things at the weddings they’ve been invited to.
And though a cringy detail here or there won’t harm the celebrations much (and let’s be real here, some of them are unavoidable), it helps if the wedding organizers try to put a positive spin on the entire occasion. After all, you really don’t want your guests to tell all of your friends about how tasteless your wedding was for years and decades to come.
When I was in high school one of my hockey teammates had a kid with his girlfriend when they were juniors. They decided to get married and the wedding was officiated by my teammates dad, who also happened to be our head coach. The entire wedding was the bride and grooms direct family and the hockey team. At a Golden Corral. Then the reception was at.... the same Golden Corral. Then we had a hockey game that night. The other team we played that night somehow found out about it and hounded the guy the whole time. They were a bunch of d***s.
Now about 7 years later that have a second kid, dad is an officer in the Air Force, both of his kids play hockey and he coaches and refs and him and his wife look very happy so I’m glad it all worked out for them.
Edit: For all of you asking about the game, I honestly don’t remember if we won. Hockey seasons a long one with a lot of games and it was 7-8 years ago.
And as a side note I really did not mean for this to be a rip on the couple. They’re amazing together and doing an awesome job raising their kids in a loving household where they want for nothing. They haven’t had the easiest lives but they’re doing the best they can and absolutely killing it
I haven’t spoken to him in a while but I’ve seen his dad (our old coach) at alumni games and they’re such an awesome family. They’re the perfect example of the fact that you don’t need a giant, expensive, fancy a*s wedding to be happy. As long as you have each other, family, and friends it’s a joyous occasion that should be celebrated.
Bride shows up almost 2 hours late to her own wedding. Southern California in an open field no water no shade. She shows up and wants to get married in her yoga outfit. the groom shut it down and when she refused to change her clothes the groom decided to leave her looking stupid and they never got married.
EDIT: I spoke with my uncle and it turns out he had speculation that his fiancé was sleeping with her personal trainer. When she showed up in her yoga outfit it was all he needed to call off the wedding. She ended up married to her personal trainer and divorced again.
The ceremony also was the "Name Reveal". They changed their last name because they didn't want to be stuck to their heritage and didn't want anything to hold them back.
Turns out they changed their name thinking they could erase their mountains of debt or at least hide from it. Turns out you can't live under two legal identities....
In England there is a tradition that a bride who got married in her shift (underwear, but not that revealing) dropped all premarital debt.
One redditor working in the wedding industry urged marrying couples to never ever sing their vows because things won’t go as planned. They also added that weddings are horrible occasions for surprises, so those should be steered well clear of. Something else to avoid are tacky and dirty jokes, being late to everything, and being unable to handle your liquor.
When I was 11 my cousin got married for the 3rd time. I never really liked her because A.) She was 37 when I was 11, we didn't have a lot in common and B.) She was pretty full of herself. The wedding itself was fine, pretty boring but fine. Then we get to the reception. We were told we had to sit down as soon as we got there, some people found it weird but I've only been to one other wedding before this (her other marriages were when I was little, no kids were allowed at her weddings) so I didn't think anything of it. The Bride and Groom then make a huge dramatic entrance and everyone awkwardly clapped for them as they strutted around the room with actual crowns on their heads. The Bride then gets the microphone and hands it to her mom and asks her to say something she loves about the bride. She then tells her mom to pass it on and says she wants EVERYONE in the room to say one thing they absolutely love about the bride. Not the bride and groom, not their relationship, just the bride herself. It was super awkward.
Edit: This blew up a lot more than I thought it would lol so for everyone asking "What did you say???" And "Where is she now??"
I said "Your eyeshadow is pretty." Because I felt so awkward and wanted to die. My older brother said "Pass" which made her force a fake laugh and urge him to say something. He ignored it and she kept insisting so he said "your parents." And passed the mic on.
She and husband 3 divorced a few months later because he was caught cheating with an 18 year old still in highschool. He gave off bad pedo vibes to the point where even strangers noticed and wanted kids to stay away from him. She married another guy a few years later and they are still together.
*Bonus* she likes to take pictures with a life-sized cutout of Trump and post it on Facebook because she, her mom, and sister believe it looks so REAL (nope) and she even pretends she's been caught cheating on husband 4 with cutout. Posting pictures of her kissing it or it in her room with a caption like "Oops, caught with my side piece ;)" or some cringe like that. Husband is also a hard Trump supporter so he laughs about it but her daughter (From marriage 2) deleted her from Facebook and often stays with her dad because she can't stand her mom anymore.
I wasn't a guest, I was working the wedding. The bride got drunk and sat on some other dudes lap for two hours and flirted with him while the groom sat by himself at the head table with a defeated look on his face.
My cousin and his wife are SUPER religious and maybe the two most awkward people I've ever met. They did one of those 'fake out' first dances where it starts with a slow song then transitions to a dance number with an upbeat song.
Not only is that naturally cringe worthy, the upbeat song was 5 minutes long and they just kept repeating the same moves over and over for what felt like eternity. There was no alcohol allowed at the wedding, so there was nothing to dull the pain.
I’m cringing now too. I genuinely hope they had fun doing it, though.
According to ‘Brides,’ the happy couple should not be charging their guests for anything at the wedding. So, for example, cash bars shouldn’t even be considered because the hosts should be taking care of their guests. However, if the budget is a big issue, you could solve the problem more subtly, say, by limiting the type of alcohol available at the venue
Fallon Carter of Fallon Carter Events told ‘Brides’ that weddings are more than just about the happy couple and they should think about the guests as well. “If you think this day is only about you, elope,” the expert said. “Focus on the guest experience.” The more gracious a host you are, the more likely that your guests will enjoy the wedding as much as you.
The groom gave a speech thanking everyone for coming that devolved in the space of about two minutes into a straight-up roast of his new brother-in-law. They were friends, and the brother-in-law seemed to take it in good humour, but there's only so much implication of 'I'm for sure going to be f*****g your sister tonight' that you can take before it becomes *really* cringy.
It didn't help that a) I barely knew anyone there because I was a plus one, and b) I was on the table with the elderly relatives from that side of the family, who were *less than amused*.
Was the groom trying to make the brother jealous or something? *banjo twang
The couple saved their first kiss for marriage, and when the officiant said you may now kiss the bride, they stopped the ceremony and made a video blog at the altar about how they just got married and were going to kiss for the first time. Cringe
My cousin's wedding featured the groom driving a small tractor around the outdoor venue while the bride rode on the back, to the tune of 'She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy' on repeat for about 30 minutes after their vows. The guests just hung out and waited, thinking it would be a quick jaunt and then we could enjoy some refreshments and food. Nope, like half an hour to make sure they got good pictures and video, then even more time for pictures sitting stationary on the tractor. It was blazing hot with no canopy or cover and I was very pregnant so I was especially miserable. He is not even a farmer, they live in an apartment...
Edit: OMG, this blew up!!! Wow, to think my top ever comment was about my cousin's bizarre wedding! I do want to add that I like my cousin- he is nice, just kinda clueless. His wife is the same, and they are perfect for each other! They are still together and now have many children, none of whom are named John or Deere.
Dated a girl in my 20s and went to her friend’s wedding in upstate New York. In the middle of the service the minister’s cell phone rang, he answered, it was God, God wanted to talk to the groom, conversation lasted a couple minutes, then the ceremony continued.
I know a guy who recently made his lackies, sorry friends, compete to be his best man. Most pretentious thing I have ever seen. Watching them grovel was so upsetting to me.
Would have served him right if none of his friends competed for the honor.
Finally: "The bride and groom had their ceremony outside where there were no space restrictions, and they said that anyone who wanted to come to the ceremony could. But, for the reception, they said they had to limit the guest list to 100. So, what was their solution to get the numbers down? They posted on their wedding website and shared on Facebook that if you wanted to come to the reception, they wanted you to submit an essay saying why you wanted to come, what their friendship meant to you, etc. — basically justifying why you should be invited. They gave a deadline for people to submit their entries. The bride and groom said they would then read through all of the submissions together and pick who would get invited to the reception. It was seriously one of the most egotistical things I have ever seen anyone do.
The minister (or pastor?) used to date the bride and gushed about how wonderful she was. Told the groom if he ever died not to worry, he'd take care of her. I was shell shocked. I so wished I could think of a reason to ask the couple for a copy of the video of their wedding but couldn't quite find a legit one.
One wedding I was in, no one was told until DAY OF that there would be no food served at the reception, only cake. The wedding cake was blue with penguins on it because the bride loved penguins. A friend of a friend had made the cake FIVE DAYS BEFORE the wedding. There was so much (dried out) fondant on it that it was nearly impossible to cut, and the cake was so stale it was impossible to eat. The bride literally threw a fit when she saw how many people were throwing away their slices of cake and became even more livid when people started leaving to go get food since there was no place at the reception site to get even a snack. To be clear, they HAD the money to actually purchase meals for the reception, but chose not to because 'people won’t notice there’s no food.'
I think (actually I'm afraid) lavishly decorated cakes can't be too fresh anyway, since constructing them takes time, cake has to cool down or even be frozen to make decorations stay on, a nice and fluffy sponge might not be stable enough, creams may have to be layered and cool/set before the next one can be applied and so on. They're more bio degradable art than phenomenal looking food - and in that kind of competition I'd take taste over looks any time.
The pastor stopped SEVERAL times throughout the wedding ceremony to tell the bride how beautiful and sexy she looked, and how if he was young and unmarried...
My husband’s friends didn’t like me, and boy did they show it at my wedding. At my rehearsal dinner, one of the groomsmen brought a woman with him who not only wasn’t invited, but who was the woman their friend group had tried for years to hook up with my husband. She tried to get his attention all night. Then, the wife of the best man and the wife of another groomsman didn’t show to the wedding, and they spent the evening calling their husbands asking when they were leaving. It got to the point where one almost missed the toasts because he was on the phone. They both left before the cake was cut. Then, another groomsman cut out early because he had made a date for the night since he was wearing such a nice suit — which I had paid for! By the end of the reception, only my friends were there. It was really sad for my husband, who had put up with these jerks his whole life.
My sister’s friend was marrying a Jehovah's Witness, and the day of the wedding, the mother-in-law fired the non-denominational officiant and replaced him with the pastor from her church. The entire sermon was about how the bride should be subservient to her husband and obey his every demand. It was awful. We called the groom ‘The Pallbearer’ because he was so somber and not fun. They divorced not even a year later, thank god.
Had a co-worker who got married in her church. Pastor spent the whole wedding speech talking about the end of times and how horrible everyone was in our society. Nothing really about marriage. I asked her what she thought, and she said she wasn't paying any attention to what he was saying.
Ive worked over 200 weddings at the same venue, many couples wanted fireworks and we had a company that could always do a show. The couple ALWAYS, without fail, would pick Firework by Katy Perry to play during the show.
Ok, so as soon as the bride and groom got out of church everyone went to congratulate them and give gifts (which usually are flowers/alcohol + envelopes). The bride had a pen and notebook and she signed each envelope or wrote in notebook if someone didn't give her envelope. Later as we went to the restaurant where the party was about to start we waited for 2 hours for the pair. Turns out they made a stop during their ride to count money. As they finally got to the party they started complaining that they didn't make enough to pay for the party expenses and earn more. They only spend time only with the "rich" part of family. The "poor" tables didn't get the good cakes/food. There was literally different food on some tables. I sat near our poor part of family, no meat or cakes made it to the table. Me and like 7 other people didn't get forks, only spoons (why would you give fork to someone when there's only soup for them to eat right?). Now, mind you I gave them enough to pay for like 5 "plates/people" and I helped them during preparations, I even baked a few cakes that I didn't get to eat in the end. Half of people got out after like 20 minutes. Bride called them all terrible for "ruining her dream wedding". Worst wedding ever, and that is just a part of the whole wedding mess. I wish I had a car back then so I could go back home as well, as the wedding was terrible for many other reasons as well. Groom was cheap, bride was a Karen.
The only legit reason I can see for itemizing received gifts is so that proper thank yous can be sent out.
The groom tried to ‘prank’ the bride. When the wedding vows happened, he planned to say ‘no’ to the question ‘Do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife?' For some odd reason, he thought people would realize it was a joke and start laughing. Well, the result was quite the opposite. The bride started crying and had to be escorted out of the venue. Fortunately, they ended up getting married after all, but we had to wait for a full hour before the bride was consoled by her family and the actual wedding vows happened.
Idiot. The bride should have kept walking away from that two-legged whoopie cushion.
Oh I have two!
1. The bride decided to sing as she walked down the aisle. She was not a particularly talented singer, and she was singing over a Carrie Underwood song so we could all hear the original vocal track. She finished walking about halfway through the song and then stood there and sang the rest of the song at the groom and all we could do was sit there and watch.
2. (Different wedding) They began the wedding with the groom playing an out of tune guitar and singing to the bride. They were sitting on chairs in front of everyone, legit 400 people, and the bride was clearly uncomfortable which made everyone else uncomfortable. That wedding also included a foot washing ceremony, and when the bride put her shoes back on she tripped on her dress and fell flat on her face. They hadn’t done the vows yet and the ceremony stopped for 20 minutes to deal with the nosebleed she gave herself.
It happened at my wedding and I still look back and shake my head
1. The pastor who we pushed to marry us found out that we had sex before marriage. He made sure to point that out during the ceremony.
2. When saying the vows I wrote I got so damn emotional it all sounded like gibberish and when I turned to get the ring from my best man he was bawling his eyes out and couldn't find it. I can't imagine how ppl in the audience felt.
Went to a wedding in the United states. This was both the bride and grooms 4th marriages. To each other. They got married 4 times and divorced 3. They picked a dirty motorcycle bar (not my wedding, theirs, ok.) But were openly giving young children alcohol then laughing at them being drunk. I asked my friend if i could leave when the bride pulled a knife out of her breasts and tried to stab the groom for having sex with a woman while they were divorced. Im not sure if this is common in new Jersey. Other weddings i attended while in the usa were not like that.
The groom had been drinking way before the wedding even started, so he was totally out of it by reception time. He grabbed the mic from the DJ and proceeded to rant, mostly incoherently, for about 20 minutes on the dance floor. He would occasionally shout, 'It's my wedding! I can make a speech if I want!' in between berating his wife and saying what a downer marriage was. It got so cringy that the DJ finally had to wrestle the mic away from him and make him sit down at the table with his new wife.
It’s a tie between my sister breaking her knee (seriously) at her own wedding dancing to the cotton eyed joe and my stepsister having her reception at an honest to god truck stop while 6 months pregnant. In her defense, the food was good but WOW was it weird walking through a gas station in formal wear.
Was there a reason for the truck stop, or did the wedding party’s transportation break down somewhere so they improvised?
At my cousin's wedding, they did the thing where the groom removes the bride's garter and tosses it to all the single guys. I guess none of the guys wanted to be next to be married, because once the groom tossed the garter, no one grabbed it. It just landed on the ground a few feet in front of a crowd of motionless guys. The groom tossed the garter 3 times before one guy halfheartedly picked it off the ground. The bride wouldn't look at any of those guys for the rest of the night.
My own wedding, so me.. My brother and our wedding band surprised us with a beautiful rendition of a very romantic song by a guy called Juan Luis Guerra, just so happened to be me and the missus' favorite song ever. Lots of happy crying and one of the best memories from that day. Unfortunately, my MiL doesn't like to be one upped, so she impromptu got a distant 2nd cousin from her side of the family who we did not know to immediately sing "My heart will go on" from Titanic. He was not a good singer and used a s****y youtube karaoke track and it lead to very awkward slow dancing, followed by fuming from her after we cut it short (terrible feedback from trying to play the track on the mic from phone's speaker). Just completely deflated the beautiful moment from my brother's singing. At least I'm happy to say we're still going strong and have been married for 10 years now. It should go without saying that little poop nugget of singing was NOT included in our wedding video.
Edit: Wow this really blew up, my biggest comment in reddit yet, to those who asked, this is the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u-_OUWNUUY
What is it about people trying to be the center of attention at someone else's wedding? Especially the MILs that wear white! WTF?!
"In the 1980s at the Newport Beach Marriott, we specialized in weddings — sometimes as many as six per Saturday. We had a beautiful atrium with a 150-year-old Italian fountain and a rose garden. One Saturday, we had a huge wedding in the rose garden with 300 guests. The bride was in a room a few stories above the rose garden and was doing shots of tequila to get up the courage to walk down the aisle. The groom, best man, and preacher were all waiting for the bride to show up. Well, suffice to say, she got too much 'liquid courage,' came out on the balcony, stripped off her top, and started shaking her bosoms for all the wedding guests, guests at the pool, banquet housemen, bartenders, and servers to enjoy. Quite the spectacle. The groom had to go up and drag her off the balcony. He finally brought her down, dressed, and they got married and went to their lavish reception. Wild!!"
Probably my cousins wedding. The food was really bad. And I mean REALLY bad. Things that were supposed to be warm/hot were ice cold and completely undercooked. There was music but nobody was allowed to dance because "we don't want people to dance on our wedding". There was also no alcohol. Not a single drop. But the worst thing was the seating arrangement. They didn't plan on families/friends sitting together. I don't know what they were thinking. I was sitting on a table with complete strangers. They even separated our grandparents from each other.
After an hour my grandmother stood up, walked over to my grandfather and both declared that they are leaving now to the restaurant down the road having something good to eat and a beer. I joined them as well as my parents. It didn't took long that people noticed that our seats were empty. (Really easy to figure out since nobody was allowed to dance or walk around in general) We got a call from one of my uncles where we're at. After we explained why we left he said "you are right... This is b******t" and we ended up with 20 guests from the wedding in that small restaurant having a fun evening.
I still don't know why they even bothered celebrating their wedding. They also never invited us again. Thats actually a good thing because now I don't need to find an excuse why I can't join their future "parties".
When we were doing the seating arrangements for our wedding, my inlaws wanted couples and families split up too - to encourage mingling, we were now two families in one, after all. I, an introvert with less-than-fond memories of being on my own at parties, drew the line there. No one was at a table where they didn’t know anyone else.
At the beginning of the reception, we all had to stand up and sing the national anthem.
To be clear, this was in another country I'd never been to a wedding in before, so I thought "ok maybe this is just a tradition I've never heard of before here!" Then I told this to other people, and they were all like "no, that's just really weird."
Also, at that wedding the father of the groom ended his speech with what I'm sure he thought was an amazing joke, on how it's easier to build a bridge to Hawaii than to understand what a woman is thinking. It would have been awkward enough had the man not also been standing between his ex and current wife as he was delivering it.
Why as an American do I feel only a stunt like this would be somewhere in the American south lol?
I went to a wedding where the bride went around to all of the tables with a big gaudy purse/bag so that people could put cash in it. On top of the wedding gift. And they even announced it.
The bride’s family paid for an open bar. At the end of the evening, the groom’s family ordered and loaded up trays of drinks to take to their rooms to party. It was so egregious that the bar manager came to ask the bride’s father if it was OK since they were paying by the drink. He just shrugged and said yes. Fortunately, he could afford it.
Friend of friends. Young, uber-Christian small town naive girl. Meets married, much older man with two kids. Falls in love. He does eventually leave his wife. Doesn't want any custody.
Wedding was her hometown church. His vows were over the top about how he has never felt love before, she is the only woman he ever wanted to marry, he's been so lonely his whole life, etc. He's literally sobbing through it all. Her turn to say her vows and she's standing there saying nothing for at least three beats. Then she is handed a microphone and the piano starts playing. She's made up her own song which are her vows.
After the ceremony we adjourn to the church basement for the alcohol-free reception. I'm somehow roped into serving the groom's cake. It's two NASCAR car cakes made with an edible photo draped over the cake shapes and impossible to cut through without mangling the cake so I have to peel it off. My friend is cutting the bride's cake and it's a full inch or more of fondant on top of plain cake. No frosting.
The "buffet" was potluck from her family. Food you'd expect at a kid's party. Pink punch was the only thing to drink. No dancing because of her religion.
Then they left for their "honeymoon" at the town's only hotel which was like a Motel 6 level dump in a two-horse drawn carriage.
We were well into the afternoon; everyone was dining, dancing, and having a great time when the music stopped. A woman in her early 20s had a microphone and started saying how honored she was to have come and how she had flown in from Australia (this was in the UK). She stated that she hadn't brought a gift, but would be handling that now with the gift of song. She then started singing Dido's 'Thank You' a cappella. Maybe this wouldn't have been too bad if she was good, but she was terrible. Her voice was awful. Everyone looked on stunned for about a minute until the DJ just played music over the top and took the microphone off her. Very odd.
Instead of throwing rice (or confetti, or sprinkles, or anything like that) the bride and groom asked their friends to save all their empty Juul pods and throw those as they walked down the aisle. The friends obliged.
Ok so i googled what Juul pods are, and it seems they are for vaping (correct me if i am wrong)
I was asked to bring a dish if I wanted to attend the reception. In other words, it was a potluck, but we weren’t told that until two days before the wedding.
Bride takes three hours to appear. After the ceremony, she and her spouse go up in an air balloon. The marriage did not last a year.
Wonder what she was doing in those 3 hours... I have some guesses...
I'm in the wedding industry. I've been to over 3,000 weddings.
The singing-your-vows thing is *never ever* going to work out like you think it will. Never sing your vows. Never attempt to sing any part of your wedding. It will not go as you visualized it.
A wedding day is not a good time for surprises. Don't surprise your bride with an unexpected part of the ceremony. Don't surprise your mom by the wedding itself (true story... the bride told her mom she was going to an engagement dinner). The only exception to this rule is if you give the bride a surprise addition to her ring – grandma's diamond, a ring made from her parents' rings, etc..
Jokes about sex later are never funny. They make people uncomfortable, and it makes you look like an adolescent. There will always be crickets after you make the joke.
If you are going to be late, communicate that to EVERYONE somehow. Have your SO, or your parents, or someone tell everyone you will be late. The staff needs to know, especially.
If you forget the rings, don't stress it. It's a funny story. If you forget your vows, wing it as best you can (just don't sing). Ask the officiant for help for last-minute vows.
Finally, don't get drunk and be an a*s. You don't want to be that guy. Plus, if you are drunk, you won't be able to have sex later!
*crickets*
You could write a movie about my cousin’s wedding. It was a destination wedding at the top of Mammoth Mountain in July, however it was still cold with snow up there. Some of the guests were not able to handle the altitude and had to be brought back down and given oxygen. The day before the wedding, my cousin slipped and fell during rehearsal and broke her foot because she insisted on wearing heels and a heavy wedding dress in the snow. The day of, she was an hour late and wearing a cast and an ugly sneaker. There’s more. She's half-Mexican and half-Welsh, however her in-laws are very WASP-y and racist. I think they assumed she was Italian, and she just rolled with it. The food at the reception was Italian. However, before the reception, the best man and friends had a surprise planned for the bride and groom.
The groom's friends handed out the lyrics to 'That's Amore' for us to sing to the couple once they made it back down Mammoth to the reception. We stood around in a circle and were all looking at each other like, 'This is weird.' When my cousin and her new husband entered the room, we all sang 'That's Amore,' which was led by the best man. After we were done, the best man raised his hand and yelled, 'How many Italians do we have here today?' The room was just silent for a good five minutes with everyone just staring at each other. My uncle, her father, walked up and snatched the microphone and started quickly saying in Spanish how he was proud of his beautiful and intelligent daughter. Then he said, 'Trick! I speak English.' After that, he shouted, 'How many Mexicans are in the room?' and there was a sea of raised hands. The groom's family went pale.
But wait, there’s more! The reception was set up with assigned seating. While most everyone was singing 'That's Amore,' someone else was switching the name tags around. On top that, there was a surprise guest. Someone sat my parents next to my mother’s brother’s recent widow. My uncle died under suspicious circumstances, and the coroner suspected that she had poisoned him, but there was not enough evidence. They had been married for less than a year, and he told us that he was planning to divorce her. He kept his money in a separate account and willed it to his sisters. Minutes after he was pronounced dead, she tried to have him cremated, however his body was recovered for autopsy by the police minutes before he was to be placed in the crematorium. Only a few days after his death, his widow quit her job and had plans to move out of state until she realized he had a will and she was expressly excluded. She sent letters to the family telling them to turn over their share of the inheritance to her and that she was destitute. She most likely murdered my uncle. My parents were in a civil suit against her, along with one other sister, and now she was seated next to them. Not only was it extremely tacky and upsetting, but it was against court orders. One of my cousins, who was also very upset this woman even attended the wedding, opted to switch and sit next to her to avoid a giant scene at her sister’s wedding.
My family is a piece of work. You really can’t make this stuff up.
Invite all their facebook friends and expect 700people and like less than 100 show up
I was raised a jehovah's witness, it's a cult. Dating is only allowed to find a marriage partner and was very monitored, to ensure NO premarital touching occurred. Worst wedding was a small ceremony, it was literally her family, his family and my family in her grandma's living room. What made it the worst was the xxx kiss at the end, the groom wanted the bride inside his mouth hard core, there was tongue in and out everywhere, saliva and hot breathing, complete with first date excited groping.
Nobody knew where to look for 5 mins
They bought an apple orchard after leaving the city to live a simpler life...and really doubled down on the apple theme.
Apples everywhere: on the tables, in baskets all around the venue, on the podium where they got married, pictures of apples hanging everywhere, small fake trees with apples tossed under them, the dude marrying them had an apple tie on, apples somehow incorporated into every dish for the reception. The cake was shaped like an apple.
It was really f*****g bizarre.
They sold the orchard a couple years later because they had no idea what they were doing.
Bride entered to Braveheart soundtrack blasting on boom box. Civil service that lasted a few minutes starting at around 1 pm. She leaves to same blasting Braveheart soundtrack. The mother announces that the reception starts at 5:30 pm. There is no food and no bar, but trays of dessert bars will be served. We are also told the venue is locked until then so there is no place to wait!
My girlfriend and I leave with a crowd of people to across the street to an Irish pub for drinks. A bit of a party breaks out there. We all get told to knock it off and come wait back at the venue in the hall. So we sit in the hall on the carpet for a few hours without drinks or dinner.
Bride and groom arrive and enter the venue to an “honour guard” of floor hockey players wearing hockey jerseys and holding sticks above their heads like swords at a royal wedding. More Braveheart music of course.
Place emptied out pretty quick as people either left to go back to the pub or to the fast food place a bit further away. Our dinner was lemon squares and a can of Coke from a vending machine in the lobby.
Funny stuff.
Edit:
I should mention that I got guilt tripped into staying after the event to help clean up as I “lived nearby and didn’t have to work that day”. It was the perfect ending.
For some reason after the Bride and Groom kissed at a wedding I was at, the Groom, a big douche to begin with, took a pair of hillbilly teeth out of his mouth and screamed "I DID IT AGAIN BOY'S!". I felt so sorry for the bride idk what she ever saw in the guy. They are now divorced.
Edit: Hillbilly teeth are those fake inserts that look super nasty you get from a party or gag store. I will also clarify he was belligerent drunk, barely able to stand and no one...still to this day knows what he meant when he screamed “WE DID IT AGAIN BOY’S!”. I don’t think he knew either. I hope this clears some stuff up for you all!
For my wedding, we had only invited a few people. In the middle of our vows, someone I had not invited showed up and started banging on the unlocked door until someone opened it for her. She had a big attitude and a snarl on her face, and she kept her arms crossed until we finished our ceremony. When my husband, the two groomsmen, the two bridesmaids, and I got ready to leave for our afterparty, we were told we had to take our wedding crasher as well. I was not too happy with this. Needless to say, we piled into our cars, but by the time we got to our party, my groomsmen said they would not ride in the car with her because she fondled them in the backseat. At the afterparty, she tried to sit on the laps of both my groomsmen AND my husband. After getting rebuffed several times by her lewd remarks and tactics, she went out on the dance floor and danced with any willing person...but I wouldn't call it 'dancing.'
My mom and MIL insisted on doing a 'stukje', a bit of theater often to mock the bride and groom by showing embarrassing pictures from their childhood.
Cringe worthy all by itself, but we explicitly asked them NOT to and they went against our wishes.
So when they performed their 'stukje' everyone was annoyed and embarrassed. When we finally made it through that ordeal we wanted thd party to resume, but my MIL did ANOTHER 'stukje' and we were about ready to kill her.
Not the couple, the Pastor kept saying "Our Heavenly Father, Daddy God," while marrying them.
Edit: thanks for the gold! For context it was a military wedding. It was just the couple and the pastor, it was live streamed on twitch, and the pastor was probably about 25. It was in Hawaii. He was wearing flip flops, and a lei made of fake flowers.
This happened right before our wedding. We were set to have my now husband’s family friend that’s a Pastor be our officiant. I am not religious what so ever but open to anything. My husband’s late mother was a Sunday School teacher and so his family is pretty religious.
Anyway, we went to the pastor’s house to go over our wedding plans and everything and he asked me if I was going to center my marriage around God. The answer was no. It got awkward REAL fast. It became a back and forth as to why I won’t accept Jesus and how awful that is. He didn’t like it either we were getting married at a country club. He then refused to do the wedding. We scrambled and found our town’s Mayor to marry us. I made my own ceremony and wrote the whole thing from scratch.
Then the day of the wedding the Mayor mentioned her recent back surgery and just wanted to get this over with. She called my husband “Eric” multiple times - his name is Evan and she was high on painkillers so she went off script there for a bit. Have you ever watched I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry? Yeah she did the whole marriage is a circle script. It took everything we had not to die laughing.
And that pastor? He showed up and watched the whole thing go down. We got a picture with him at our wedding. Him and his wife cropped us out of it and he made it his profile picture.
Hilarious! I'm sure when things started to go sideways, you must have {gulped} a little. But by the time we get to Chuck and Larry, I'm weeping in laughter. Thanks for sharing!
At the reception the groom took his shirt and pants off as a strip tease while removing the bride's leg garter. He remained topless for the remainder of the wedding.
The bride was doing the worm on the dance floor.
well now im a lil ticked off my husband/partner didn't go toples with me to our wedding
I live in Britain and as a child there was a show on CBBC (Children's BBC) just like this. The show was called Marrying Mum and Dad. Oh lord I hate that show. It's about these kids who get to arrange their parents' wedding, they choose the theme, the entertainment, and the cake. Naturally, the kids were always making absolutely horrible occasions, because what did you expect. They would choose a ridiculous theme for the wedding (Australia, Medieval, Space, Clowns) and have everyone arrive dresses appropriately. Then they make the couple do some activity or another (it ranges from bungee jumping to VR) for entertainment. Then they have the wedding and eat the cake. The worst part is that the parents have no clue what's happening, they don't know anything until the day, and the children will go out of their way to make them uncomfortable (Making them eat bugs for 'entertainment'). Everyone just has to go along with it, and you can tell all the guests are really awkward, and then at the end the couple have to say just how good their Australia themed wedding where they ate bugs was.
This reminds me of the reality tv show ‘Don’t Tell The Bride’, where the groom plans the wedding without any input from the bride. The few episodes I watched of it were all disasters
At my sister's wedding, the maid of honor, who was told to be at the venue a couple of hours before the actual event started to help with setup, decided to show up as the processional was starting. We had even delayed the start time by 30 minutes in hopes that she would show up, but she wasn't answering her phone, so we had no choice but to start without her. The venue was outdoors, so all of the guests got to witness her running full-tilt across the field to get into her place in line.
The groomsman prepared a skit in which they "lost" the groom at the reception and proceeded with over the top hands on hips " Hey guys- Arent we forgetting SOMETHING? Well , where can he POSSiBLY Beeeeee?" acting like some high school musical. None of the guest were prepared and silently fussed around with their drinks and silverware. When the whole thing ended, they anticipated like a standing ovation but it went over the heads of everyone. A lone voice muttered "That was kinda wierd..." as they made their exit quietly
EDIT:
I guess this blew up to the point i should try to remember some of the skit. It was some of the corniest s**t i saw, not sure if some of them were inside jokes to the groomsmen crew:
They all entered into the main area together minus the groom
One guy had the fakest cartoony voice "Hey arent we missing something"?
"It cant be me, because im Alwaaaaaays prepared! (Winks and Pause for laughs)
.....
"What about your bowtie?"
Oh Noooo
(Produces tie, puts it on, waits for audience reaction)
No wait! Its the groom! Wheeeere can he PoSssibly BEeEeee?
This went on for a bit, i dont remember it all because i was on my phone not really doing anything but to avoid eye contact everytime they said a line and desperately scanned across the audience. In the end the groom came out through the door when he was cued, i dont think he knew about the skit, thank god he wasnt there to see it unfold. As for the crowd, who isnt gonna clap and whistle when the newlyweds show up at a wedding so it was all good.
Went to a wedding for my cousin. It was both of there second time getting married and they had only known each other for about 4 months. When they were getting married at the alter the husband had a 6 pack of Dr pepper and the wife had a 6 pack of Mountain Dew. After the reading of the vows the priest says you may now kiss the bride. So they kiss and then immediately hand each other one of their drinks and start to chug it.
A younger couple at a wedding I attended thought it was a really good idea to get on the husbands sport bike with cans and s**t dangling off the back of it after drinking during the celebration.
He popped the clutch and was attempting to do a burnout with her on the back, things got caught in the chain, the bike bucked both of them off, and they spent their honeymoon recovering in the ICU.
I went to a potluck wedding. The attendees kept all the food in their hot cars while at church then when we moved to the event hall they brought it all in to be served. Potato and macaroni salad after being in a hot car for an hour. Delish. Those were the high end dishes. Some attendees brought 2 liters of soda or bags of chips. At this same wedding they also had a "dollar dance". Everyone lines up and pays for the chance to dance with the bride. They pin dollars on to her dress. They ran out of pins so she started stuffing dollar bills into her bra.
That's my time to shine: so, my cousin was about to get married in a protestant church that his bride used to go. Now, keep in mind my cousin doesn't have any religion, so he only married in the church bc his fiance really insisted.
So we are all gathered in the church as the minister started. His first words were "Good night, open your Bibles in apocalypse". He starts reading the part that says all the kinds of people that goes to hell, turns to my cousin and says "I know you fornicated with her, she told me. And you are getting married here bc I told her thats the only way for her to get forgiveness".
And, as if that wasn't enough, the minister starts pointing out everybody in the f*****g church who was "fornicating". He kept saying that they were going to hell, that theyr lives were cursed and all kinds of s**t like this. After one hour and a half of this, he, without asking for vows or even saying the famous "you may now kiss the bride", just said "we are over here. Proceed to the party and may God bless you all.". My cousin was fuming, mad as f**k. When we got to the party he starts drinking beer like an absolute mad man, goes to the dj and asks him to play the "devil songs" as the minister would say, and danced the f*****g night away.
His bride, who was on board with everything that the minister did, gets so f*****g upset she started crying in the party as the minister goes home. I'm not married (and I really don't intend to be) but I don't think that's a good start for a couple.
Wasn't a legal wedding. Without the questions, the wedding is not legal
The groom sang his vows. I honestly had to stare at the floor and slow breath to not laugh and get through it.
And whatever you do, do NOT look at your sister in these situations. She will laugh first
I was at a wedding when I was 8 and instead of the bride and groom getting up to make their speech thanking everyone, they had done like an awards show. So the DJ opened up an envelope, announced their names, they were handed and “awards statue” (a Barbie and Ken doll) and proceeded to thank everyone in the form of an awards speech. In the right hands, it would have been funny, but the bride and groom are incredibly shy by nature so it was just awkward. I’m in my 30s now and I still remember this
Oh lets see.
Groom changed who his "Best Man" was and didn't tell the original BM until the start of the ceremony.
Bride & Groom asked a guest to bartend the reception AT the reception
Groom "dirty danced" with his step-mom (full hands on a*s).
Bride & Groom hauled their wedding party up to do a choreographed dance to Meatloaf's 'Paradise by the Dashboard Lights' but didn't give them any pre-warning or teach them the dance. That song is 8.5 minutes long.
Wedding was at a scenic boarding school campus during the summer. Guests were told dormitories were complimentary to stay in. Guests were not told there would be no bedding provided or A/C in the building. Groom later emailed everyone who stayed in a dorm asking for money.
Same Bride & Groom chose another friend's wedding reception as the right setting to yell at a 3rd pair of mutual friends for not including them in their wedding party.
Well, the groom (my uncle) didn’t do it, but my dad wrote “help me” on the bottom of his shoes in big blocky letters so when he went up and kneeled at one point the immediate crowd had a good laugh.
Edit: my dad wrote the letters on my uncle’s shoes, not his own
At my cousin's wedding when they knelt at the altar they had the bridesmaids come over and arrange the train of the bride's dress so it draped gracefully over her feet. Then they had the groomsmen make a big production of straightening the cuffs on the groom's pants, which got a laugh.
I went to a wedding with my ex a few years back. It was one of his fraternity brother’s wedding, and apparently the bride’s parents were ridiculously conservative. So conservative that they have super-edited versions of every song the DJ played, including bleeping out the word “shots” from “Shots” by LMFAO.
Also, it was a dry wedding, so this rendition of the song was almost too on the nose...
Surprised you could even recognize the song when the chorus is literally saying "shots" repeatedly lol.
So this wedding took place in an Episcopal church. Priest had all his finery on and the church itself was decorated very nicely. The bride and groom had asked everyone to wear casual clothes. We all took that to mean "semi-formal."
Nope. They and their kids all came out wearing overalls and white t-shirts. Stood next to the priest in his formal robes. The other cringey part was when the groom, during the ceremony, started talking about the bible verse "let the little children come to me" and insisting it implied "and listen to what they're telling you."
Pretty sure they were divorced in 2 years.
Edit: I should explain the "little children" comment a bit more. It was part of a 20 minute speech explaining how the bride and groom got together. There were plenty of parts in the story where the groom was like "I wasn't sure she was right for me" but his son was pressing him because "he wanted a mom." (Sad story actually, biological mom died when the kid was 4 and this was 8 years later.) So it was this long unfocused story that boiled down to "I'm marrying this woman so my kid can have a mom." Not a good sign when that's your main reason to get married.
I focused on the "little children" quote because getting advice from children is absolutely not what that quote is about. I knew it, probably half the attendees knew it, and the priest definitely knew it.
That whole story would have been fine to tell during the reception, but I have no idea why he decided to tell it during the actual wedding.
I've never heard this sinister interpretation of the "little children" quote...not that that's outside the realm of possibility by any means, but disturbing if true ☹️
My uncle not only brought up his daughters ex boyfriend in his speech but talked about their toxic relationship for a solid 5 minutes. I highly recommend preparing a speech before talking in front of a room full of people.
They made their vows political statements. I mean, it's cool that you're passionate about your political beliefs and standings, but to put them in your VOWS???
Most memorable: The bridal dance song was Eric Clapton’s 'Cocaine.' The marriage ended in divorce. Coming in at second place: The bride’s parents were ballroom dancers (and not very good). They made sure they were the only dancers on the floor for over half an hour. People were polite for the first song, but when they finally gave up, no one was watching.
I went to a wedding once where they did a potluck. I guess it okay depending on the type of wedding, but the reception was at a fairly nice venue, the wedding couple was like an hour and a half late, and their best man didn't have a speech ready so it went on for a very painful 15-25 minutes, also stating in there that they're going to have great sex now that they're married. This was a devout Christian wedding with many of the friends (including me) were from church. By the time me at like table 15 got to eat, I was lucky if I got something that was kept warm in a Crock-Pot, but everything else was room temperature. We were able to to go home between the ceremony and the reception, but I bet most food had been sitting in people's cars since that morning.
Oh, also the church that she moved to did the whole "no kissing before marriage" thing and started making out with her new husband on the altar to the point where the pastor had to say "okay, that's enough."
The whole thing was weird.
Potlucks can work great, with the right planning. Personally I like the way my sister did it...she did Taco Salad buffet style with fancy cake and cookies afterward. Not too formal, but also not on potluck level.
Friend's wedding. The bride wanted to sing him a song, so she did a kind of karaoke thing.
There's *bad* singing, and then there's whatever the hell this was. It was so awkward.
Also, dude asked a professional photographer friend of ours to photograph the wedding about a year before. Got a super non-commital answer. Never followed up. And was SHOCKED that the photographer didn't show up. (After he specifically declined the invitation because he was going to be in another country).
Had the entire set of groomsmen rent *ridiculously* expensive Tuxedos. Which, fine. Cool. Happy to be here. He's having his Tux custom tailored, asks for something ridiculous and gaudy, but when quoted the price says he can't swing that and insists they do it for about 1/4 the price. They do their best to meet specifications within the given price range, but it's bad. Really bad. So, the groomsmen look amazing, and he looks like a clown that didn't put on his makeup.
Has another friend make a custom batch of meade for the toast, but rents a hall that doesn't allow outside alcohol, so it can't be used for the toast during the reception.
It was probably the cringiest thing I've ever seen, not just the cringiest wedding or even cringiest *thing* at a wedding.
Large, matching back tattoos... of the Monster Energy Drink logo.
Edit: Ok that blew up a little. Some background:
Obligatory my brother was actually the witness but still one of the funniest/cringiest stories ever.
My bro managed a gas station about 10 years ago and hired the soon-to-be bride. A little while into her employment she requested off for her wedding. The date was still a couple months out so no big deal.
About a week before her request-off she came into work and the exchange goes like this:
Bride: "Wanna see my new tattoo?"
Bro: "Uh, sure."
She lifts the back of her shirt to reveal a huge, green "M" covering the whole upper half of her back.
Bro: "Holy s**t. Wow."
Bride: "Awesome huh? We both got the same tat!"
Bro: "Really?..."
Bride: "I know, I know what you're thinking. Copyright right? But what are they gonna do? It's already on my body! It's ALREADY ON MY BODY! Ha ha!"
Bro: "Right. That. *That* is what I was thinking."
He did get to see pictures. I'm working on getting a hold of those. It was a camouflage themed wedding. She had an open-back camo gown with camo heels, complete with camo veil (I really wish it was ghillie suit headgear).
The groom had camo pants with camo boots and a camo bowtie. He was, indeed, shirtless. He did wear a camo ballcap though.
I imagine them walking down the aisle, backs glistening in the sun with vaseline over a huge Monster logo... just the perfect day.
They ~~have been~~ were happily married for 7 months.
Edit: Some formatting. I suck at reddit.
I DJ’d a wedding for a couple that were constantly throwing up red flags as to why I shouldn’t DJ their wedding (ie asking for a discount in exchange for a positive review; I don’t want your f*****g fake review). One of these red flags was when they wanted me to live mix their special dance number. I’m fine with mixing live (it is what I do professionally) but these two were not professional dancers. Honestly at this point I can’t even remember what their complaint was, they did their dance, it wasn’t entirely smooth, but their family and friends loved it because (get this) their family and friends love the bride and groom. Immediately after the reception the groom gave me a tip and they both said I did an amazing job.
Cut to the next morning, likely while the bride and groom were still drunk, the groom emails me with some “constructive criticism”. A few emails later he is demanding that I apologize and that he isn’t going to pay me the balance of what I was owed. He then ghosts me. A few days later the wedding coordinator contacts me to say that I have to give them a discount because they are so mad at how their first dance went. These two people, who are not professional dancers, who awkwardly pulled off a terrible first dance, with nobody who was present knowing how the dance was “supposed” to look, blamed me for... feeling awkward? I just told the coordinator that the bride and groom can keep their money.
My aunt and uncle had decided to dedicate their weeding to the brides kids, everything was little mermaid and they had a huge little mermaid bouncy house right in the middle of everything. Their wedding was on a severely crowded beach at 3 in the afternoon. The groom decided it would be a good idea to ride a paddle board into the reception and it would be an awesome idea except everyone could see him get on the board and then go out to the ocean then turn right around and come back. The couple also decided to get incredibly high and couldn’t even remember each other’s names let alone theirs. Oh and one last thing, the grooms vows were literally “I love you more than bacon” that’s it, that’s the only thing she said.
Edit: since some of you wanted a couple more stories, I will tell them. During the ceremony, as I have mentioned before, it was a very crowded beach, there were little kids and dogs everywhere. A couple of dogs got loose and no one really seemed to care, but those dogs ended up going behind them and they started going at it. No one did anything to shoo away the pups having a good time, because obviously no one wanted to ruin the ceremony, but the only thing any one could focus on were the dogs just going at it as the preacher was talking about love and long lasting.
The couple wanted to do the cake thing where you smash it in each other’s face and honestly it’s a fun and cute idea but they took it a little toooo far. The bride doesn’t even pick up the cake, she grabs her husbands head and just smashes it down. All anyone had for desserts that my poor great grandma spent days making.
That is all I remember for now but if there is any that I do remember I will definitely post them! Thank you everyone for the upvotes!!
Do NOT shove people’s faces into cakes. The really fancy tiered ones are held together with skewers.
Groom's last name was White so after the pastor announced that they were married, they marched out to Billy Idols "White Wedding."
I leaned over to my wife and said "Do they know what that song means?"
I actually thought that she might have been pregnant... It was a nice moment when my wife said "I think that because his last name and now hers it White, that they thought it was cute."
Luckily, my social social sphere has been quite queer & non traditional growing up and living in the Castro (gay district of SF) so my experience with het weddings has been limited. And we gays do marriage a little differently. But here’s the songs I’ve heard of or experienced at the few straight weddings. “Every Breath You Take” is about obsession & stalking. “My Heart Will Go On” is about a lost/dead love. “I Will Always Love You” is the same. "My Cherie Amour” is about unrequited love & stalkerish.
I worked as a wedding videographer. This is the only Bridezilla I encountered in ten years. This girl was so self centered she kept everyone waiting at her outdoor ceremony for more than an hour while she was pampered in the makeup chair. While she's having them redo this and touch up that, she's sort of making up her wedding vows in a very relaxed, casual manner completely inappropriate for the hundred people sweating under full summer sun waiting on her. Her aunt came in and very gently reminded her people were waiting on her and that it's been more than an hour and she threw a tantrum, screaming, "I feel like everyone's forgetting this is MY DAY!!!"
Eventually she comes out, "vows" are lame and borderline incoherent, and one of the groomsmen, sweltering under coat and vest and shirt and sun, passes out from heat exhaustion. The officiant whispers to ask the couple if they should stop and make sure he's okay and she goes, "Nah, he's just being dramatic, keep going!"
As the couple is headed back up the aisle, an ambulance can be seen arriving to tend to the poor overheated groomsman.
I mostly do makeup for film but have on occasion done weddings as a side gig when it’s slow. People think actors are divas?? They pale in comparison to bridal parties 😆 I had one bride get mad at me because the MOH was “prettier” than her. Lady…. It’s a makeup brush, not a magic wand 🤦🏻♀️ I didn’t pick her!! I’m not going to deliberately do a bad job because you’re insecure.
Lost my wedding ring 5 mins after we got married.
We had the ceremony then our photographer wants photos before reception... wife bugged me multiple times to get my ring fitted, I never did it and during photos it flew off into a vinery.
Me and the photographer and wife went out and our poor reception had to wait about 15 mins of us searching, super embarrassing
And then I found it, some how.... I was so nervous I literally sweated through my whole suit, like drenched. (It’s what I do when anxiety kicks in)
I walked into reception with wife, photographer explained to reception what happened, everyone laughed. I was embarrassed most of the reception because of how drenched I was.... also had a thin button up shirt that basically showed through when it was wet... still cringe thinking about it
Couldn’t even eat my food i was so embarrassed
Then I got absolutely hammered and had the best time ever.
I couldn't find my ring right before the ceremony either. It went missing in the bedroom, still in it's box. I borrowed my sister's ring for the ceremony. Found my ring right after the ceremony was over in an obvious spot. We got married in my parents' house, which was haunted, and the mysteriously missing ring (and one of my shoes!) confirmed it.
Flew away in a helicopter at the end but there were only appetizers for food
My wife and I don't dance, so we hadn't danced together before our wedding dance. Loved it, but it was cringe-worthy.
Giving horrible vows and speeches.
A part of my family has the habit to use any family gathering as a moment to remember loved ones who died. That's not a comfortable habit for me but to each his own. However, it becomes very weird when wedding speeches and even vows start to include great uncles who died more than a year ago, and the only people who actually knew him are my grandparents. Yes, the vows. And not even in an interesting way, but just "if only uncle Barney could have still been alive while we are getting married".
To be honest, our entire family is horrible at giving speeches. There's 2 brothers, one of whom is my dad, and 2 sisters.
- My parents can only make joke speeches
- the uncle and his family make dry lists of things they do. For example, his wedding speech for his son was an 10 minute monologue about renovating the couple's kitchen.
- One aunt can only boast about achievements their family members have gained, if there's no achievements, there's no speeches
- the fourth is the one with the death speeches.
During the wedding of some friends of my wife, the groom stopped the party to put a corny video with their photos since the first time they met until then. It doesn't sound that bad, but honestly it was the most ridiculous video with a totally out of place song, made worse by the fact that the bride was laughing mockingly and taking tequila shots with her friends.
Not the bride and groom but...my husband's cousin has a signature wedding move - about halfway through the reception he takes over the band/DJ mic and sings this rockin' 60s pop song (I forget which one but you'd know it). He really plays it up, belts it out. It's his moment in the spotlight and everyone loves it. Except in my husbands family there's like 60 cousins so I've seen this move in dozens of weddings over the years. The first time it felt spontaneous and fun. But now I cringe as he heads up for the mic yet again.
At the reception, the groom and his groomsmen sung a god-awful acapella version of 'Stand By Me.'
The worst part was he wasn't even singing it to his wife. He was singing it to his mum.
"Oh darling, darling, stand.... by... me..."
Chinese weddings, man....
Serve macaroni and cheese only to the bridal party. Everyone else got mashed potatoes. I was a hostess so I got macaroni and cheese, after tasting it there was no way in hell they would’ve broken the bank preparing enough for everyone. It was just really tacky because people were asking for it and I told them I didn’t know much about it I am just following directions.
they made this whole scenario where the bride was like a damsel in distress and the groom was James Bond and he got on a zipline and did this whole thing to “save her” and then kiss her. they even put the 007 music and everything. it was brutal to watch.
Not wedding but engagement ceremony. They reenacted a scene from an old romantic film, about two lovers in 1800s. In front of like 300 people.
In November 2018, I attended the wedding of my in-laws' friends. They were an older couple (in their 60s) that had been dating for decades and finally decided to tie the knot.
The husband did a stint in the Navy, and so given the timing of their wedding, he invited a lot of his veteran buddies from across the different branches.
During the reception speech, the guy had the DJ begin playing the military hymns for the various branches, and he asked all the various veterans from said branches to stand up and be recognized.
I get where he came from, wanting to pay respect given calendar proximity to Veterans Day, but absolutely nobody (veterans included) knew he was planning to do that. They all kind of stared amongst themselves and awkwardly stood up. The civilian guests just fidgeted for the 5 minutes or so this went on.
His heart was in the right place, but damn if it wasn't cringey as f**k.
Later that night, the bride got really drunk with her girlfriends and spent a while dancing barefoot on the floor. At some point, she took a wrong turn and wound up rolling her ankle pretty badly. She ended up in one of those mobility boots for about a month.
I was forced to sit there and had to watch the bride and groom take pictures in poses that were from bollywood movies, for 2 hours straight.
An acquaintance of mine from college and his bride did a choreographed dance to a song from the Disney princess movie Frozen...I think it was the one where the couple is singing to each other about love or something, but the dance was super hard to watch and it then became very obvious we were at a “Frozen-themed” wedding.
Snowflakes everywhere, light blue and silver and white color scheme. They were 22 and probably just getting married to have sex (very conservative southern kids).
Edit: to correct the age. I realized they were younger than I estimated.
You sure this wasnt the wedding I attended in kindergarten that the teachers crashed at recess?
Well, they copied the majority of my and my husband's wedding ceremony. Same entrance music (it was an extremely specific pie e of music cued to a very specific part of the song), same vows (we wrote our own), and their best man's speech was almost a carbon copy of *our* best man's speech. They got married a year after we did, and I guess they couldn't think of anything else for their own wedding.
Oh, and at that same wedding, a young religious couple regaled us with how awesome sex is and how they do it all the time while we were waiting to be dismissed. It was neat.
When I was at a wedding of my parents friends, the groom tried to throw a decently sized piece of cake at the bride who moved out of the way, the cake ended up hitting my 76 year old grandma. We all had a good laugh. But we were all cringing at the same time at the missed cake attempt.
I used to videotape weddings so I've seen it all. This one couple from New Jersey were the spitting image of snooky and j-wow's ex husband, Roger. They were super into appearances and very over-the-top gaudy. During their church ceremony, they had their very white 60 yr old uncle, with native american feathers tied into his hair, stand up and chant around the church giving what I can only assume was some kind of blessing. It was so weird and out of place. I assume they wanted to seem "deep" during their ceremony. They mixed colored sand together in a vase too.
This is my dads story. He went to his friends daughters wedding reception. Before coming in, the bride and groom had this whole scene of them looking for each other. The guests watched it on a giant screen inside.
Update: I asked my dad. It was live streamed. They then entered through opposite entrances, met in the middle and did a little dance with their friends. They then had their first dance.
Long ago I worked at a banquet hall and witnessed a fully NASCAR themed wedding. During the reception they played the audio of the proposal going out over the PA at the track. It was fully unintelligible. BZZT GABBAGBGA MRRRY MEZZZZZ RROOOOOWWWVROOOM.
Other highlights were the owner locking himself in his office to avoid the bride’s father because he was threatening him to haggle on the costs.
In the end we had to call the police because the bride in gown climbed over the bar to steal more sweet sweet MGD after we had closed the taps and the event was over.
OMG.
So my sister's wedding was very last minute.
Our mom had just passed away and her fiancee was getting stationed up in North Dakota so I wanted to make her day as memorable as possible.
She was trying to pay for everything herself so she rented a venue for a *Thursday*.!.?.!. Which was ok. Everyone still showed up.
Also she's not very good a public speaking (not that she freaks out and stutters, but she just seriously copies everything she sees on TV) so during the dinner, she grabs a mic and tries thanking everyone who helped to make her day perfect, but it was like a combination of Prison Mike and Julia Roberts from My Best Friend's Wedding. I finally got her to fade out buy "accidentally" bringing out the wedding cakes early. (I forgot them in the kitchen fridge. She said just bring them out after the speech).
And *then* the floor was open for dancing but my dad's family is very prude so I put on cupid shuffle to try and get people up. It turned into just me, the other brides maids and grooms men. And everyone in the audience was clapping as though this was supposed to be some kind of prepared dance just for the bridal party 😰
Bringing an umbilical cord to the ceremony
Requiring every attendee to bring a date because she didn't want "sad, lonely people on her day".
Not my friends luckily but pretended to be a friend's date because she really wanted to see her cousin get married.
Out of curiosity what's everyone's opinion on alcohol free weddings cause a few people here complained about them?
I don't drink and I find it sad that people can't seem to have a good time without drinking.
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I just want to add that the things that *weren't* perfect are the things we look back on fondly. Nothing so cringely as any of these; just things like my bride putting her right hand out for the ring instead of her left - I was confused, and we all laughed. We had a wonderful lower-budget wedding with all of our friends, relatives, and many of our colleagues (also friends), and in two weeks we'll celebrate our 31st anniversary. Of all these, the young couple at the Golden Corral was wonderful - fun, inexpensive, and they're still together in a happy marriage. The rest of them, though...
My parents. My mother was considered an older bride at the ripe old age of 27 so her MIL basically forced the issue. I've seen the wedding pictures, there isn't a single person smiling in them. 😔 obvs. the marriage also didn't survive the 7 year itch. I'm so glad we are past the point of bullying people into getting married. At least in (hopefully ) most cultures.
Stories like these make me glad I have a strict rule never to attend weddings.
Jumping a broom sounds like more fun than most of these weddings.
Load More Replies... Out of curiosity what's everyone's opinion on alcohol free weddings cause a few people here complained about them?
I don't drink and I find it sad that people can't seem to have a good time without drinking.
Load More Replies... I just want to add that the things that *weren't* perfect are the things we look back on fondly. Nothing so cringely as any of these; just things like my bride putting her right hand out for the ring instead of her left - I was confused, and we all laughed. We had a wonderful lower-budget wedding with all of our friends, relatives, and many of our colleagues (also friends), and in two weeks we'll celebrate our 31st anniversary. Of all these, the young couple at the Golden Corral was wonderful - fun, inexpensive, and they're still together in a happy marriage. The rest of them, though...
My parents. My mother was considered an older bride at the ripe old age of 27 so her MIL basically forced the issue. I've seen the wedding pictures, there isn't a single person smiling in them. 😔 obvs. the marriage also didn't survive the 7 year itch. I'm so glad we are past the point of bullying people into getting married. At least in (hopefully ) most cultures.
Stories like these make me glad I have a strict rule never to attend weddings.
Jumping a broom sounds like more fun than most of these weddings.
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