Out of all types of cringe-worthy material, the "badass guy/girl" trope is one of the worst. Some people really feel the need to let the world know how much of a badass they are as they use guns/drugs/have tattoos/are anti-liberal or are just plain mean. However, such attempts at bad-assery are usually cringe-worthy rather than cool to all those around such people. Here, we made a list of all the laughable attempts at trying to appear cool and edgy. Prepare for some cringing, then scroll down below and leave a vote for those that made you laugh (or cringe).

#1

"I'm Italian. We don't call the cops - we call family"

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Xavier Wescott
Community Member
1 year ago

this is another good one, especially if your Italian!

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#2

"The dumbest thing you can possibly do is piss off my wife. She will open the gates of hell and escort your a** right on in. And she will do it with a smile on her face"

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C
Community Member
1 year ago

Purchased by his wife

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#3

"Pastor. Because hardcore devil stomping ninja isn't an official job title"

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Christina Sersif
Community Member
1 year ago

Love this one lol

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#4

"Hey snowflake, in the real world you don't get a participation trophy, not everybody is a winner, no one owes you anything, screaming doesn't make you right, sometimes you actually lose, crying doesn't solve problems, nothing is free in this world, people are going to say things that you don't like and you are not special!"

Jackizback0 Report

Noonie Kehoe
Community Member
1 year ago

Has he never heard that brevity is the key of wit?

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#5

"As a September guy, I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me just remember I know how to hide a dead body"

saggywizardsleeve Report

Christina Sersif
Community Member
1 year ago

Don’t understand the September guy part, but I think it’s a funny shirt otherwise

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#6

"I came into this world kicking and screaming while covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem with going out the same way"

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C
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, that's a gross visual

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#7

"I have been the kind of man that when my feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says 'oh crap, he's up!'"

daisiebee123 Report

Christina Sersif
Community Member
1 year ago

Haha this one is funny

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#8

"If this flag offends you, I'll help you pack"

unknown Report

Christina Sersif
Community Member
1 year ago

I swear racists all look like Larry the cable guy

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#9

"I may seem quiet and reserved but if you mess with me while I'm bowling, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place"

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Chris DiFonso
Community Member
1 year ago

Wow, I didn't know that bowlers are such tough fellas!

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#10

"Beware: I ride horses, which means I own pitchforks, have the strength to haul hay and have the guts to scream at a half ton animal after being kicked. You will not be a problem"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

Again with epistles. Keep it short!

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#11

"Too fat to run, too fat to fight, I JUST SHOOT"

cattattattat Report

Jaguarundi
Community Member
1 year ago

Wal*Martians are an embarrassing fact of life here in the 'States.

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#12

"Oh, you ran a marathon? That's so cute! Maybe when you grow up your mommy will let you do the rest of the race!"

Sycsa Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, if he did an Ironman, he is right...

comboplush
Community Member
1 year ago

Still an a$$. You can do an Ironman and still respect other's individual achievements.

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hobbitly
Community Member
1 year ago

Does patronizing the sport other people do makes you feel better about the sport you do?

Ben Smith
Community Member
1 year ago

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Sigh....point missed

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Luke Beauchamp
Community Member
1 year ago

All he's saying is that he can't travel 26 miles without a bicycle

Jace
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh look, a self-important jerkass who thinks he’s better than other people because of his personal choice of physical activity.

Ben Smith
Community Member
1 year ago

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It’s a joke... he’s a triathlete. Calm down

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Dani
Community Member
1 year ago

Well that was a constructive and polite way to brag about doing a triathlon

Jo Choto
Community Member
1 year ago

Toxic alpha masculinity right there.

Carson Skjerdal
Community Member
1 year ago

This one is just making fun of running?? As the less superior fitness activity? Why would anyone have this specific of an opinion about something.

boredpanDaman
Community Member
1 year ago

i fail to understand how such a 'masculine' activity can have such a 'girlish' way of arguing...

LSR
Community Member
1 year ago

The archetypical "Oh I am so into running, swimming and cycling" DOUCHEBAG.

Christine M Quigley
Community Member
1 year ago

Wow, that's just plain mean...not everyone can run a marathon..

Louisa Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago

In the Uk we say people should have sportsmanship, as in appreciation of someone else's skill and or achievements in sports. I guess you get these types of assholes worldwide .

Felicia Dale
Community Member
1 year ago

That's just mean.

BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

Swim bike run. Can't make up his mind?

danielw
Community Member
1 year ago

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triathlons involve three forms of endurance sports- most commonly, swiming, biking and cycling. A well know triathalon race is the ironman.

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Ellie
Community Member
1 year ago

That`s a bit too condescending. It takes a lot for one to train and complete a good marathon. Those ppl deserve encouragement not insult.

Clara The Idiot
Community Member
1 year ago

yaayyyy because we looove being so fragile that you have to put others down to feel good about yourselffff

criminalgirl
Community Member
1 year ago

Ironman snob.

Piotr Parda
Community Member
1 year ago

Triathletes are full of... gear...

elfin
Community Member
7 months ago

I guess that means that your mommy lets you do it now.

DoubleHomicide
Community Member
1 year ago

I hate ppl like this

Leslie Schlak
Community Member
1 year ago

I like the start of it “Oh you do “this” that’s so cute —that’s all it needs besides the end of it “Run, Bike, Swim”

Louise Brigance
Community Member
1 year ago

And once again the imagination runs wild in circles.

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 year ago

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A triathlon is a multisport race with three continuous and sequential endurance races.[1] The word is of Greek origin, from τρεῖς or treis (three) and ἆθλος or athlos (competition). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triathlon : "While variations of the sport exist, the most common form includes swimming, cycling, and running over various distances. Triathletes compete for fastest overall course completion, including timed transitions between the three races."

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#13

"I am the weapon"

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Noonie Kehoe
Community Member
1 year ago

And it's a pea shooter.

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#14

"Only God can decide if terrorists are right or wrong. It's our job to arrange the meeting"

lionheart10801 Report

Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

God wants a word with you in his office.

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#15

"Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?"

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Noonie Kehoe
Community Member
1 year ago

Maybe not but he definitely cares what everyone else thinks.

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#16

"I am an asshole man: I love freedom, drink beer and love my wife. I protect my family, I eat meat and have tattoos. If you don't like it - move"

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Christina Sersif
Community Member
1 year ago

Bet this shirt was made in China

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#17

"I didn't serve this country for pussies to tell me that I should be politically correct"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

In my experience, people who object to PC ("It's PC gone mad!") have usually just been caught and called out for being racist, sexist or homophobic.

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#18

"I have three sides: the quiet side, the fun and crazy side, the side you never want to see"

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Noonie Kehoe
Community Member
1 year ago

He three sides: the quiet side; the fun & crazy side; the back side.

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#19

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil , for I am the baddest motherf***er in the valley"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

'Baddest' MF waiting patiently in a line and wearing trainer liners.

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#20

"Peace is not my profession - it's yours. War is my profession. Should you fail at your job, I will not fail at mine"

mtbullard14 Report

Amy Pattie
Community Member
1 year ago

A T-shirt worn by exactly no one in the military.

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#21

"I am 10 times the asshole you could ever hope to be. Now run along"

SWEDinTexas Report

Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

Can we not even stay long enough to marvel at the sartorial elegance?

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#22

"Careful, <...> I'm this old for a reason"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

Even Death doesn't want you?

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#23

"Stay back 100 meters or you will be shot"

LetsGoGameCrocks Report

Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

No one has any intentions of going within a kilometre of you so we'll be fine.

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#24

"There are a lot of people in the world to mess with, I'm the one you may wanna skip"

NateLeport Report

Tore Hana
Community Member
1 year ago

What’s with the constant “Mess with...” on all these shirts..?

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#25

"Obama can't ban these guns"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

Water pistols.

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#26

"If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson"

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Christina Sersif
Community Member
1 year ago

Someone has a little pp

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#27

"Forklift operator. My sense of humor may hurt your feelings or offend you. I suggest you buckle up, buttercup! I change for no one"

tardgard69 Report

C
Community Member
1 year ago

Lol, everyone at my job operates a forklift. It's not special

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#28

"I oil my guns with liberal tears"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

I would have thought salty water would be bad for guns...

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#29

"Never, and I mean never, mess with 4-H kids, because in 4-H we are a family... and if you mess with the family you better run"

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Iggy
Community Member
1 year ago

Sorry, I got bored halfway through.

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#30

"Cool story, babe. Now make me a sandwich"

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C
Community Member
1 year ago

Nice fedoras tools

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Note: this post originally had 40 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.