A good joke can make you laugh, of course, it can also test your smarts, and it can even make you reminisce about some of the best times of your life. A bad joke, however, can make you laugh even harder, might test your wit on a greater scale, and the snorting upon realizing just how good it is might spread a whole new kind of virus on the screen of your laptop. Yup, you got it; this is our list dedicated solely to the bad, the good, and the most cringe jokes ever.
So, what embodies a cringe joke? Well, a dash of dark humor is essential for some of them, but we love those spicier kinds of laughs, don’t we? Still, others fall into the category of lame jokes. You know, the ones that are so bad they morph into pure goodness. And then there are the plain silly jokes that would crack up a five-year-old, you, and your grandpapa. So, be it a bad joke, a dark joke, or the best joke ever, they all share that certain something to make them into a cringe-worthy arrangement of words.
We guess the introductions are sufficient, so why don’t we skip straight to the fun jokes themselves? Cringe all you want, but give the most impressive jokes your vote, so we’ll know that you’ve liked them! Also, it would be real friendly of you to share this galore of laughs with your friends, don’t you think?
This post may include affiliate links.
The CEO of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.
He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet.
So far I’ve got twelve fridges.
What time is it?
I don’t know. It keeps changing.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
What’s the difference between a dapper man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire!
What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree?
Branch manager.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
What do we call a crying sister?
A crisis.
You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
What do you get a man with the heart of a lion?
A lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
A stick.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
Why did the toilet paper roll downhill?
To get to the bottom.
What did the animals tell Simba when he walked too slow?
Mufasa!
What kind of tea is hardest to swallow?
Reality.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and says, “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
“Oh sheet!”
I used to have a job at the calendar factory, but they fired me because I took a couple of days off.
If you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
Never again.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Why did the priest pee in the holy water? He was trying to fill in all the holes!
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece!
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
If they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One you’ll see later, the other you’ll see in a while.
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
Kilometry Cyprus.
I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude.
Always walkin around like they rent the place.
How much does an influencer weigh?
An instagram.
Why are math books always sad?
Because they are filled with problems.
Why do chicken coops have two doors?
Because if they had four doors, they’d be chicken sedans.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted Danson and singin’.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
More than 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
I’m thinking about removing my spine.
I feel like it’s only holding me back.
What did the princess say in the photo booth?
“Someday my prints will come.”
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?
Because the best you can ever get is bronze.
3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them. So they toss the 4th cigarette overboard, which makes the whole boat a cigarette lighter.
But when they turned it on it set the whole world on fire and thus 2020
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
There are three types of people in the world.
Those who can count and those who can’t.
I just accidentally superglued my thumb and index finger together and at first, I started to panic but then I remembered that...
...it’s always going to be okay!
What’s the best time to see a dentist?
Tooth hurty.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name.
Today my son asked me for a book Mark.
Can’t believe he’s 11 and still doesn’t know I’m named Dave.
I gave all my dead batteries away today... Free of charge.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on its own?
It was two tired.
But why did the tricycle stay home? It was feeling like a third wheel.
What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?
Live stream.
There is a new kid in the tournament, no one wants to be downstream from him because he's a real wiz! When he pulls out his pole he takes the p!ss out of the competition!
I bought some cool shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked them to name the world’s best composer, they all said, “Bach bach bach!”
A man filed a report to the police that his bag was stolen. Upon leaving the man's apartment, the officer found the man's bag at the bottom of the stairwell.
It was a brief case.
Did you hear about the satellites’ wedding?
The ceremony was OK, but the reception was terrific.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
You got a haircut?
Looks like you got all of them cut!
See, I got a hair cut and no one even noticed! Maybe next time I'll do two or three and see if anyone notices
What do you call an Italian astronaut?
A specimen.
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is heavy and one is a lot lighter.
How many ears do space aliens have? Three: The left ear, right ear and the final front ear.
