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Nearly everyone has at least one romantic relationship that they regret getting into. Maybe the chemistry wasn’t right. Perhaps the partner was leading them down a bad path. Or maybe they were incredibly jealous, toxic, and took to stalking you when things didn’t work out. Whatever the case might be, when you hear about someone’s ‘crazy’ ex, it’s usually a one-sided perspective. Biased. Unfair. Superficial. Self-serving. Well, there’s always another side to the story that needs to be shared and heard.
The women of Reddit, who were called ‘crazy’ girlfriends by their exes, opened up about their side of the story in a series of brutally honest posts. Scroll down to read them below.
In the stories, some of these women explained just how toxic and insecure their partners actually were. Meanwhile, others were candid about the fact that they themselves messed up badly. It’s catharsis through anonymity.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I found out that my ex was a registered sex offender (the victim was a young child), on probation, considered at high risk to reoffend, and had several court mandated restrictions and requirements. His dad and stepmother had helped him hide it from me for close to 3 years.
I dumped him immediately and went no contact, but a friend of mine started dating him. She helped care for her sister's child, who was the same age and gender as my ex's victim. I told her and she confronted him. He denied it and said that I was a crazy jealous b*tch who couldn't handle being dumped. She accused me of slandering him and trying to ruin his life. This was before the Internet, so I showed her the court records I had copies of. She dumped him and outed him publicly.
He then went on a campaign to trash me to anyone who would listen to his rants. I was crazy, a whore, cheated on him, had stds, stole from him, physically assaulted him, turned tricks to support a drug habit, you name it, I did it.
I'm just glad this happened in the early 90s or he'd have put it all online and it'd have been a lot harder to put behind me.
Libstak 3 years ago
For one potential victim....what about the next in line?
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Holly Stevens 3 years ago
No no no, if it had happened now, YOU would have put it all online and he wouldn't even be able to show his face in public
Seabeast 3 years ago
He'd be on a sex offender's registry, so she wouldn't even have to do that.
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face be drawn lmao 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 3 years ago
"couldn't handle being dumped" *said the man, who was dumped.*
Kishibe Angelo 3 years ago
ok so these stories are nothing like what i thought they were going to be
Vanities 3 years ago
Exactly. They are just one-side and every commenter jumps on believing the post. Nothing like the title says to do.
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AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
I am so glad it ended that way. When I got to the part about the friend with a child the same age as his victim I got seriously concerned.
RELATED:
#2
For me I was with a guy for 4 years. The last 6 months of it I had no idea he was cheating on me. I find out. I get upset and I ask him to come over to talk it over. Mind you I was really rational about the situation.
I felt sad not only that he cheated on me, but that he must have felt trapped to do it in the first place. So I basically ask him why after all this time he couldn't just tell me that he wasn't interested in me anymore. He responded "I just didn't want to hurt you". Well it was a nice stab in my heart, but ok.
A few days later I check on my Facebook and I have all these messages from people that I am not necessarily friends with, I just knew them because they were friends with my ex. Well they're messages weren't kind to me and even people for some reason were making "notes" and passing them along like those chain letters or fill in the blanks.
So basically these "notes" we're poorly edited/photoshopped (might as well been paint) screen shots of convos where people twisted my words making it look like I was the bad guy. Basically I ignored these things, I was upset, but more embarrassed because honestly I found that my ex had been actually telling people these things were true.
I asked him to kindly stop. But he kept insisting that he was stating facts. I kept telling him that those things weren't true.
Soon after it died down and people stopped talking, he decided to come up with new things. Now he was telling people that I begged for money and made him buy everything because I am selfish. People bought it lol. Although I was the one who had a job... He never worked lol. So I asked him again kindly not to say things like that and he should be over me and focus on his new relationship.
Well it didn't stop. I got threatening messages from his gf about harassing him and begging him to stop with my "lies" and she told me some other stuff. Finally I had enough.
After all the harassment, I ran into him at the mall where he greeted me with a smile and gestured to give me a hug like we're friends. I told him that it's not appropriate and really I just don't want to talk to him anymore. His gf was meeting up with him and she stopped by as I was walking away from him and she started screaming at me in the middle of the mall.
I kept trying to explain I had no intentions of meeting him there. All the while she's screaming calling me "crazy" he's recording it all. I finally start to walk away (confrontation isn't my thing). She grabs my hair and pulls me to the ground and keeps telling me to quit obsessing over her bf. I struggle to get away and finally a security guy shows up and she explains how I am causing commotion and apparently "threw punches" at her. He kicks me out.
Hours later I go on fb and see I have 75 messages. And I am tagged in something. Well my ex recorded the whole fight (where I did nothing and basically get beaten up) on Facebook. People called me all kinds of scum. So I don't go on there anymore. So much drama.
All that time I was the "crazy" ex gf. And honestly I was more heartbroken that he was sad being with me than the actual break up.
I wanted to file a police report. I never did. He eventually got caught having sex with a 13 year old (he was 19 at that time). Had court, never showed and fled to Canada.
Thanks to whoever reads this..it's long.
Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
"You know those countries south of the border. They're not send us their best people..." (Sorry Canada)
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Craig Walker 3 years ago
Wait a minute. You dated him for 4 years, broke up went through maybe a year of abuse, ran into him at a mall, then sometime later he got busted at 19? The math makes him 14 when he started dating you. Huh?
V Michael Lazar 3 years ago
He offended at 19. You can be charged 8-15 years later.
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Mattewis88 3 years ago
TLDR; BF cheated, told a bunch of lies. Ambushed her in a mall to look like him and her are cool or having something, his new GF shows up and loses her s**t, get physical and he records it - puts it on FB and tags her. He fled Canada after being caught having sex with a 13yr old.
Aamna Shah 3 years ago
Why would you not file a police report? The woman literally assaulted you and your ex boyfriend himself was crazy enough to post the evidence of the assault. Please file a police report if someone abuses you.
Paddling Panda 3 years ago
Name and shame please. We're talking about a pedophile who now lives in Canada. I don't want this a*****e raping any of our young women. So name, description, etc please.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Aamna, I read Paddling saying "we don't want him raping our young women either"
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Firefly 3 years ago
I don't think this is entirely accurate based on her using words and phrases like rational, more embarrassed than upset, kindly don't say... Especially coming from a teenager (just guessing using bf's age).
Tanya Engesser 3 years ago
Depends on what sort of language her family uses. I was in 3rd grade when I told my new friend that I was sure my mother would “be delighted to meet [her]”. She was a couple years older than me and the youngest of three siblings, she really got a giggle out of my statement, as she found the use of the word “delighted” to unexpected.
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#3
In defense of my crazy ex-girlfriend, she was damaged by her parents' criminal neglect and violent abuse. Girlfriend didn't stand a chance as an adult. She had her sweet side, but she had no self-control when under stress.
People don't realize, when judging and ridiculing people who have bad behavior, that somewhere in that person's past there may very well have been physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. It can harm for a lifetime. Those people need patience, kindness, and understanding, not labels.
Otter 3 years ago (edited)
Speaking as someone from such a godawful background... such people also need limits. They have to learn the basics of acceptable behavior as adults, because they sure as hell didn't learn about it as children, and they actually do need to hear what behaviors are and are not acceptable.
Alex the Country Dog 3 years ago
All except “...didn’t stand a chance as an adult.” They do stand a very good chance...with therapy, and love in healthy boundaries. Never feel you or someone you love from a traumatic background can’t become healthy again. You can. They can. It takes a lot of long, hard work, but know that you stand MORE than a chance. ❤️
Grace Barclay 3 years ago
This should be at the top. Thank you for admitting that childhood trauma plays a big part of "crazy" in men and women.
anarkzie 3 years ago
This is true but it's also important that people don't allow someone's tragic past to keep them in an abusive relationship. If you're being treated poorly and you find yourself rationalising their behaviour by their childhood then you need to stop and take care of yourself first. When I say abuse I don't just mean violence it can be anything from having to accommodate their extreme jealousy, spiteful behaviour name calling any pattern of behaviour that makes you feel bad, that they know their doing but has made no effort to change.
Callie Ge 3 years ago
I don’t accept a shitty childhood as an excuse, I was abused, physically, emotionally & psychologically from Birth by my crazy mother. I was bullied everyday at school from the day I started until the day I left. I was abused by some of my BFs & almost killed by my husband (EX) , I have never been abusive or turned bunny boiler on any partner I’ve had. Being abusive is a choice.
Tanya Engesser 3 years ago
I don’t think the post was meant as an excuse, but rather as an explanation
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
I gave my ex nearly five years of patience, kindness, and understanding. In return, he tried to kill me. These people don't need relationships; they need therapy until they learn how to behave as adults and treat others decently.
GettheOtis 3 years ago (edited)
Oh I understand it perfectly, but at some point you have to take control of your life. It is HARD WORK. I'm not trying to hear excuses for s**t behavior o er and over and over again.
Naturally, there are two sides to the story in every break-up. And nobody likes to feel like they’re the villain. So some people tend to brand their exes as ‘crazy’ whenever they talk about them to their friends and family.
That way, the responsibility is off their shoulders—they’re the victim in all of this!—and there’s a clear target for all the things that went so very wrong. It takes a lot of introspection and maturity to admit that nobody’s perfect and that both parties are usually to blame. In some cases, however… there’s clearly one person who was the toxic one. And anyone can be toxic, no matter their gender.
#4
I've definitely been "crazy". Snooped through phones, emails, etc. because I knew in my bones he was cheating (confirmed). It made me realize I never want to be with someone who I feel like I "need " to snoop on. Walked away after that.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
That was a good and mature realization. If you can't feel trust for your partner, no matter if they are cheating or not, you shouldn't be in that relationship and if you always feel that way - you shouldn't be in one at all until you figured yourself out. In my opinion.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
You pass through a long list of stages with any combination of cheater/abuser/misogynist/a*****e before you stop even being angry or hurt and get to the point where you just don’t give a s**t what they’re doing anymore, and you just want out.
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ToGo 3 years ago
See, I've noticed a lot of people act like phone snooping is the biggest betrayal of all time. I even saw someone in this situation on reddit get berated for phone snooping - but the ex was CHEATING. Sure, no one has the right to randomly screen someone's phone but this wasn't a case of being paranoid. Sometimes our gut is screaming at us and seeing proof of cheating is the final kick up the backside needed to leave a bad relationship.
Alex the Country Dog 3 years ago
The phone “snooping” thing is weird to me. We have been married going on 29 years and both leave our phones lying around for either to see. Both know each others’ lock codes and we will often show each other long convo threads that were entertaining or weird, or whatever. It would not be abnormal at all for one of us to pick up the other’s phone and just catch up on photos or messages if the other one was away for a few days for work or conference etc. We just don’t have anything that couldn’t survive exposure to each other. I am always suspicious of couples who feel their phones need privacy. Like from what? For what? The only time we *hide* anything is if we’re trying to do a surprise gift, at which time one of us will say “don’t look in x photo folder or x messages or you’ll spoil a surprise.” I just don’t get what people wouldn’t want their spouse to see in their phones.
Vision Jinx 3 years ago (edited)
I accidentally found something one time years ago and my ex gave me s**t for it. Hear me out. He was logged into my phone on Facebook so I was going to log him out. I decided to prank message his buds pretending to be him as a joke. Open his messages and "wham" there is a blocked chick's message "(ex's name) you used me!" And there was a underage girl's nude photo. Dude was 19/20 years old at the time. Acted like I was looking for it on purpose by snooping or something. He like tried to take the upper hand like I was the wrong one. Girl was like 15 years old. What's funny is he outed himself by asking if I found the pics on his computer. Dude saved them to his computer! She was underage!
Bella10 3 years ago
There’s a reason we say “Trust your gut”. Sometimes our bodies are cleverer than our brains.
Ella TRIMBLE 1 year ago
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU DONT NEED HIM HE NEEDS YOU
Mark Erwin 3 years ago
Yes! Realized too that if I feel like I need to do those things, it means I don't feel fully safe and assured in the relationship
Becky Graybeal 3 years ago
We always know on some level, don't we? We just don't want to know sometimes.
#5
In the eyes of his family, im a crazy girl who caused him to lose his job with a prominent university in our state by filing a restraining order against him. Then after the restraining order was dismissed i further ruined his life by accusing him of/him being prosecuted for domestic violence, and it causing him to lose custody of his son.
In reality, he threatened to murder me and my family after i broke up with him the first time, causing me to file the restraining order. Being young and dumb, i attempted to rekindle the relationship after the restraining order was dismissed. After a couple of months, he hacked into my facebook account and posted naked photos of me, then beat the sh*t out of me when i confronted him about it, which is why he got domestic violence charges. Aaand he lost his son because he likes to smoke pot and blow it in his face and let him play with his bong.
Not crazy, just stupid.
Liam Walsh 3 years ago
Well, trying to rekindle a relationship when you felt the need for a restraining order is rather odd..! It IS on him but if it was bad enough for the restraining order you do NOT go back there.
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Red Riding Hood 3 years ago
....and this guy was really considered for a job at a university..??? A "prominent" job at that?!! Yikes!
Anne Edwards 3 years ago
He had a job at the University. Abusers come from all levels of income earners. He didn't lose custody of his child because of you, he lost custody because he was an abusive sack of excrement.
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#6
After three years he broke up with me via text. I sent him bull testicles so he could see what balls actually looked like. I mean someone had to show him what he was missing.
Rabbit Lord 3 years ago
"No, I'm not crazy, I simply ripped THAT testicles of this bull, put it in a box and sent it to my ex to show him what he was missing, officer." Meanwhile you hear a very hush and painful "Mooo...." :D
Rochelle Jones 3 years ago
So I thought she meant a picture of bull testicles. Did everyone else understand her to mean she sent him testicles in the mail?
Tanya Engesser 3 years ago
$20 (plus shipping?) It’s possible. https://www.exoticmeatmarkets.com/Bull-Testicles-1-Lb-19-99-p/bulloysters1601.htm
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Anne Edwards 3 years ago
I have no problem with that. I do think that you should have one of those love advice columns. I think your experiences would be beneficial for a lot of young people needing help with new romances.
Bored Panda previously reached out to British psychotherapist Silva Neves to hear his thoughts on toxicity, specifically about toxic masculinity in the modern world.
The mental health specialist explained that toxic masculinity is a collection of negative attitudes that are perpetuated by systemic misogyny. What’s more, a set of distorted ideas about what men ‘should’ be like feeds into this. In short, the ideas that men should never appear to be weak or soft, that they shouldn’t ever show vulnerability, and that they always have to be winners can have negative effects both on men, as well as the people around them.
#7
I was called the crazy ex-girlfriend. We dated for five years so we had many friends in common. I found out he was cheating on me through sexts on his mac he left open while he was in the shower. I freaked out and I threw his stuff out of MY apartment (he was living there 'temporarily' until he could find a job). I wanted to be alone to figure my life out so I turned off my phone so he couldn't contact me and took off work for a couple days.
After mentally recuperating, I turn on my phone to some mutual friends calling me a b*tch and I'm blocking you! etc. I find out that he had told them I threw him out of OUR apartment because he was talking to his sister and I thought he was cheating. He said I made him homeless. They believed him because I never responded to the accusations because my phone was off! So now they think I'm super jealous and I was crazy because I made him 'homeless' (his parents live 45 min away, he started living with them).
Luckily some people believed me, but for the most part, a lot of those mutual friends took his side. This happened six months ago and I still am getting flak for it. Too bad I never took screenshots of the sexts
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
My first thought as well - good for her that she got rid of the false friends together with the cheating boyfriend! Might feel bad at the moment but totally worth it in the long run.
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Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
Clearly the friends were less mutual than you thought, good riddance.
buttonpusher 3 years ago
Pity there were no screenshots. Cos I'd send them and be like "Is this how you talk to your sister?".
Anne Edwards 3 years ago
It turns out to be really good news for you. You are now rid of a cheating jerk that used you AND as a bonus you know who your friends are. Have a great life!
Flyingbuttfluff 3 years ago
Reminds me of the time I found messages open on my ex's computer from a girl he had been meeting and I was told that I shouldn't be looking on there anyway. That was the end of that lol.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Next time you see his laptop open to stuff that proves he’s cheating, screenshot it and either print it out (then scan it into your own computer later), put it on a flash drive/micro usb, or email a copy to yourself. That way, if he tries to claim you’re crazy and making it all up, you can upload your evidence to prove he’s the crazy liar and your anger is totally justified.
Charlotte Keep 3 years ago
The ' crazy ' female narrative has been around for a long long LONG time. Doctors treated upset women for ' hysteria '- it was considered an actual disease. They're still prone to disbelieve woman over medical complaints for why? We're hysterical. Makes it easy into 2022 to pull the ' she's crazy ' card.
#8
Crazy ex gf. Whatever he tells people about me is probably true. My depression/anxiety disorders were out of control. I wasn't on the right meds and I acted crazy the entire relationship. I don't think he knew how to handle it and that's not his fault. I didn't even know how to handle it. 4 years later I'm married now, and not a crazy wife. Everything is under control.
Vanessa Richardson 3 years ago
I really like that many of these responses are from people who completely accept and understand that they were, in fact, the crazy girlfriend.
Joanne Lawrence 3 years ago
Legit. I wouldn't say I was "crazy," but damn did I screw over my ex hard. And yet he never even told his parents what I did, they still love me, and he and I remained friends for years until we drifted apart. I didn't deserve his kindness, but when talking about it later he basically said, "Hey, I get it. You were going through some stuff." I'll be the first to admit he would be completely within his rights to call me his psycho ex if he was so inclined.
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Courtney Lunsford 3 years ago
Sometimes you need the right person to get yourself right. He wasn't it.
#9
I had a terrible birthday that year. My moms had a positive biopsy, the cancer had spread, and at that it looked super high risk. There was drama at work, where I had to perform layoffs on some long term employees. I texted him about it. He texted me back to make sure I was going to be home that night, and that he was then at my apartment. I thought maybe he was going to surprise me with dinner or something.
I come home and he had been watching my tv (his cable was off) and left fast food wrappers all over my couch. I was miserable and planned to take a bath and get drunk. Next thing you know, his son is at the door. My ex had dropped him off, expecting me to babysit overnight while he went to Hooters with friends. He refused to answer his phone. When he did, he said he didn't see the big deal, as I said I would be home.
His version? I broke up with him because he didn't get me a birthday present, and I was too materialistic.
Edit: Actually, everything he accused me of doing was pretty twisted. He constantly was telling his son to disregard anything I said, that I wasn't his mother. Yet he expected me to babysit even though the son was then uncontrollable. Earlier in the relationship, the son was playing with a super ball and was popping it in and out of his mouth. I told him it was dangerous. My ex was in the other room, didn't know what his kid was doing and said not to listen to me. The kid started showing off more and aspirated the ball. My ex freaked out was trying to fish it out with his fingers but it was down the kids throat pretty far and the kid wasn't breathing at all. I flipped the son over and did the kiddie Heinrich maneuver, ball popped right out and the son started breathing again.
But I had bruised the kid in the process of doing the maneuver. My ex took pictures and whenever we fought he threatened to call the police for assault charges. Afterwards, he would tell the kid that I would hurt him again and how "mean" I was. He still expected me to watch his son regularly though.
Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
Especially after the Heimlich, time for spring cleaning and a brain wash to get those thoughts out.
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Space Whale 3 years ago
I'm pretty sure he just wanted a free babysitting, someone to dump on and an extra house and all he had to do to get it was blackmail you.
Random Panda 3 years ago
Yeah, I would have dumped him after the episode with the kid choking.
Alex the Country Dog 3 years ago
Hooters. Any guy in a relationship still going on bro nights to Hooters is a red flag. Ick. Yes been to Hooters with SO. (Anything “once as a philosopher.”)None of their food is good enough to pretend that’s why you’re there, kids.😂🤣
Jacob 3 years ago
People say to have pitty for those who act like this because their behavior is probably rooted in trauma. Whenever I hear these stories, I can't help but wonder what the victims must have been through to think that being treated that way was normal let alone acceptable. My heart goes out to them.
K Witmer 3 years ago
Ikr this wasn't a relationship it was a hostage situation
Load More Replies... Red Riding Hood 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like she's put up w his sh*t a little too much and for too long now! Wtf I wld get a court order for him to stay away from me...for good.
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the psychotherapist shared.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” he said.
#10
He was actually beating me and regularly r*ping me. He was constantly insulting me, grabbing me roughly, and essentially holding me hostage. Of course, he made everyone think I was actually f*cking nuts because I was always crying and trying to run away from him.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
Oh my, how terrifying. I hope he is far, far, far away and that you are supported and safe.
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
I'm glad you got away. And thank you for sharing because people don't realize how difficult to leave can be. You don't stay because you don't want to be alone, you stay out of fear. This is what he did when he liked/loved her; what the hell could happen if he hates her? Just know you are not alone and no matter how long it's been there is so much support available if you need it to still do healing
deanna woods 3 years ago
This is so terrible. I hate this person had to go through all that. Being in a relationship doesn't automatically give someone consent. Unfortunately, I know a few women that have been through this. My cousin is married to the guy that hit her in the face with a brick.
Hange 3 years ago
I don't know how I feel about your cousin marrying the guy
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MimSorensson 3 years ago (edited)
As I understand it, this is somewhat common among abusive psychopaths. Makes sense front their sick view I guess; if you constantly commit severe crimes towards an innocent person, you’ll have to do your best to undermine their credibility should they - gasp - someday force you to face the consequences of your own actions.
#11
In October of last year I had a miscarriage. I cried for the first 2 nights and on the third one my boyfriend said it was time to start getting over it. Here I am thinking were in the same boat and seeing him as my strength to only hear him say "Get over it". Gawd it destroyed me. He said it was because he didn't want to face it and seeing me like that was a constant reminder but I truly lost so much respect for him after that
Summer Mason 3 years ago
One miscarriage, one still birth, one kids healthy at 8 years old, and one dead from sids at 15 days old. It hurts no matter how they go.
Load More Replies... Benita Valdez 3 years ago
I do not like kids, plan to never have them, I even make horrible jokes because of my twisted sense of humor. And yet I know and understand how devastating it is for a woman and that a loss like that can hurt for months to years. Such a piece of insensitive garbage. Never mind losing respect lose his ass. He doesn't deserve you
Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
How can someone be so stupid, you say things like "get over it" if you accidentally break something or maybe lose a game of something not after someone suffers a miscarriage.
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
A miscarriage stays with you your whole life. It's not something you can just "get over". I haven't had that experience, thankfully, but still.
Blackadams 3 years ago
He probably felt the pain too but we men don't know how to express pain,ive been in a situation like this before,but i said something this short and it made me look heartless,but ineas hirting and didnt know what to do either
#12
The f*cker had about 1000.00 worth of my Blu Rays in his place, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to blow up his phone numerous times a day until he f*cking answered and gave them back to me.
GettheOtis 3 years ago
Yes, apparently numerous phonecalls to reclaim items makes you a "crazy ex". Just give us our stuff so we can go. Especially if it's a hoodie
For psychotherapist Silva, healthy masculinity means embracing “gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people.” He said: “Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”
#13
He was addicted to heroin for years and THAT'S why I was blowing up his phone constantly. I never told anyone what was going on with him but if he wasn't where he said he was he most likely had a needle in his arm. Back before he got sober he let people think that I was just obsessive when in actuality I was legitimately worried about him. Doesn't really matter now, we don't talk to any of those people anymore but my reputation still stands.
The only Plueschopossum 3 years ago
That's always a twisted and f*cked up situation. My SO is heroin addicted as well (trying to get away from it every now and then). Whenever I said something about it in the first years of our relationship he always made (quide rudely) clear that this isn't my business (yeah.... sure....). So at some point I stopped commenting, stopped asking and started to pretend I wouldn't notice just because I was sick of being growled at for just being worried about the person I love. This now led to a point where he told some of our friends a few weeks ago - in my presence and in a matter-of-fact tone - that I wouldn't give a sh*t about his addiction... -.-" So when you're worried, you're obsessed and annoying. And when you try to keep yourself out of this, they think you lack empathy and interest. Whatever you do - it's wrong, even if you do just what they want you to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
😥 hugs from a concerned panda. Please love yourself and take sometime away from your SO to clear your head. Being there to help a loved one through addiction means you have to be strong enough to be away from the person and have your own life. I do outreach volunteering for homeless and have formed strong bonds with a few heavily addicted individuals. I am more than 2 decades sober. My hubby is around 13 years sober. You can't help someone in active addiction in any other way than showing them that the other side is brighter by maintaining your own mental health. I sincerely wish you the best 💖
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#14
I had an undiagnosed mental disorder and didn't understand how to handle emotions appropriately.
Samantha Maddog 3 years ago
¶Hello Darkness my old friend, I've come to see you once again....¶
Load More Replies... Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
cPTSD, acute anxiety disorder and depression. Over 20 years in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. Holy crap, it's over 30 years now. I'm that old. Yea, it's possible to overcome mental illness but everyday is a struggle. Please seek out help if you're struggling mentally.
Kristy Nelson 3 years ago
I am sorry. People need support, not exclusion for something like that.
Isaac Harvey 3 years ago
You can't blame yourself for that. Having a disorder/anomaly is never a choice. My parents and I didn't know I had(have) brain cancer until two weeks before my tenth birthday in early September 2013, and part of me wishes I hadn't been diagnosed with epilepsy in May 2020 as a result of the scar tissue.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
Sounds like you went through some really tough stuff. I hope you're doing better now.
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#15
Accused my boyfriend in high school of having an emotional affair with his best friend that was a girl, it made me uncomfortable when they were alone together or when he would constantly talk about her. For instance he told her how beautiful she was at prom and never commented on my dress. His guy friend, who is still a close friend of mine to this day, ended up pretty much being my date while he hung out with this chick. A lot of his guy friends told me I was just jealous and irrational. I broke up with him feeling like the crazy girlfriend. Fast forward four years and me and my guy friend were talking and he said that this ex boyfriend of mine almost had a restraining order from his former best friend that was a girl. Turns out he was in love with her for years and she led him on big time and would tease him and use him as a tool to make herself feel better when she needed a confidence boost pretty much. He ended up constantly badgering her about how much he loved her to the point of getting drunk and showing up at her house, facebook stalking her etc. and she had to completely cut him out of her life because it was freaking her out. Turns out he was the crazy one and he was cheating on me.
Now if I get that feeling I just end the relationship right then and there. Not dealing with that sh*t again.
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
'She led him on big time' and 'used him' leading to 'she had to completely cut him out of her life' is what this person's been told. Could just be yet another example of the girl being cast in the 'crazy' role. Or it might be true! 🤷
Seabeast 3 years ago
Exactly. To a guy like this, "She led me on" = "She continuted to exist".
Load More Replies... The expert sees toxic masculinity as dangerous. “Those men can be emotionally abusive and/or physically violent and sexually violent to women,” he warned.
“They can also be aggressive to gay people. They perpetuate toxic messages of masculinity so toxic masculinity is usually passed down to their children and peers maintaining the problems. “Toxic masculinity also harms the men themselves because repressing their own emotions so much can lead to mental health issues, depression, and even suicide. Toxic masculinity harms everybody.”
#16
Met this guy over the Internet. We met, slept together a few times. Told me about an ex of his who was so unhygienic that she would not use anything on the first full day of her period, and barely changed her tampons. HE told ME that she has HPV. I went and got tested, gyno said I had four abnormal cells. I told the guy.
He flipped it on me, said I must've been the one to give it to her (even though she had full HPV), and broke things off with me. Then called me a crazy b*tch when I called to scream at him for being such an assh*le.
He married her. Ick.
Kesam 3 years ago
Tell me you're cheating on me with your ex without telling me you're cheating on me with your ex.
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago
"yOu MuSt'Ve GiVeN iT tO hEr!"-WHOOPS, fucktard!!!
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April Stephens 3 years ago
Is HPV caused by poor hygiene? That's what this comment seems to suggest but I don't think that's true. We don't need to remove all stigma from STDs or something, but I don't think it's necessarily helpful to call people with them dirty.
Tyranamar Seuss 3 years ago
I agree with you. She's trying to make the ex sound like she got HPV from not using feminine hygiene products. Totally untrue. But sounds like dude was double dipping for sure.
Load More Replies... May 3 years ago
Off topic - but I'm curious about the HPV vaccine in the US. In many countries in Europe, all girls (and hopefully soon all boys) are offered the vaccine at about 12/13yrs. Do they do that in the US as well? Do you have to pay for it?
Chancey 3 years ago
Yes, I live in the US and my daughter got the vaccine at age 12. Insurance paid for it. She is 29 now so quite a few years ago.
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Candia Lee 3 years ago
BF accused me of giving him crabs, so I bought the kill stuff and comb, found 4 of the little buggers. All our friends agreed he gave them to me.
Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago
Probably thought she would have said no or asked him to wear a condom and he didn't want to. Too many people think a condom isn't necessary because of other methods of contraception - STDs are real and many are very nasty.
Load More Replies... #17
Years ago, I met a guy. It was an instant attraction (for me) and for a time, him too. Things were pretty intense and then for some inexplicable reason he faded on me.
This was all over the course of three years.
It literally drove me crazy when he faded on me. I couldn't understand why. I was so invested emotionally, just being near him made my body react. Everything just felt right when I was around him.
So when it turned out he wasn't feeling the same, I couldn't understand it.
I was hurt, so, so hurt, and angry and not knowing why sent me into a really weird headspace. I became obsessed.
I never blew up his phone or anything like that. Instead, I'd try to time things and be places I knew he'd be.
When I heard from a mutual friend about an ex gf of his, I got really jealous and paranoid. Was he seeing her again? WHy? Why her not me? What was wrong with me?
So I became obsessed with her too and this is where things got weird.
I began doing drive bys on both their houses. If I saw his car at her house I'd drive around and around until he'd leave.
I'd check to see when he was last logged on to facebook (seriously, that last online timestamp feature is a full stalker tool), I'd try to work out if they were having sex by the amount of times he logged on.
Before long though, instead of driving by, I began wearing a disguise and walking by her house. I never went to his, just hers when he was there.
The pain I'd feel in my chest when I saw his car there was unbearable. I HAD to know what they were doing. Why her not me?
I escalated to crawling along in bushes outside her house in my ridiculous disguise to try and hear what they were talking about.
I heard them having sex a few times. It was sick and creepy and I really f*cking hate that I know any of that.
My behaviour got even worse and I did a few other things I won't write here.
Eventually, I began lurking around outside his house. Long story short, he came right out and confronted me one night, while in "disguise". He said my name, but instead of seeming angry or weirded out, he just laughed.
I stopped all my silly antics after that, but f*ck, why did I do it? I don't know myself. The worst part was that during all these lonely sad nights I spent doing this, I knew it was crazy and weird. But I still did it.
During the time I was in treatment for suicide attempts and BPD but I still carried on like a weirdo. I never told my therapists about him or her or what I was doing.
I wish I had the excuse that I was super crazy and was hearing voices or blacking out, but I made a choice. I hated doing it so much, but I still did and I'm a seemingly normal, well educated person.
It's been a few years now, and thinking about it now... it's like it was someone else. Why did I do that? Will I do it again? Why did I get weird about him and no one else?
I don't know...
K Witmer 3 years ago
Well borderline personality disorder makes people act like this sometimes. Must be so hard to live with. Not an excuse to stalk but it does give a reason. Hopefully medication and therapy help these episodes not be so insane.
Béla Kun 3 years ago
Manic episodes are the hallmark of bipolar disorder not borderline, if you get manic episodes that last 5-7 days it's bipolar, if you just swing from neurotic to psychotic it's borderline (sprinkled with some identity crisis). At least as far as I know.
Load More Replies... Patricia Pina 3 years ago
Been there... never got to the point of stalking in disguise but other things that definitely fall on " behaving like crazy". It happened with my second serious relationship. Im almost 50 now, never felt that crazy again and been In healthy relationships ever since. Now that i older and wiser, i guess there are people that can trigger this craziness out of you . Sometimes is due to the inexperience of dealing with certain feelings. Take the experience to your advantage, now that you know how it feels you can identify the "red line" and never cross it again . The fact that you acknowledge what happened gives you an enormous power. (English is nor my first language, apologies if its not correctly written)
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
Anything that you feel you have to hide from your therapist is a giant red flag. In my experience, it can mean that no matter how much you are suffering, you're not ready to change that behaviour. The next question for yourself is why? And you may not be able to understand that it on your own.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
I've experienced myself how love can affect you mentally, however I do hope you got help for it. It's a real unhealthy way of dealing with love sickness.
MaggieWest 3 years ago
First of all, I feel as if this post doesn't belong in this article because she was actually being "crazy", no mistake about it. However, I would have liked to know the state of their relationship: were they ever actually dating in the first place or was it just some flirting? If it was actually dating I feel a lot of this could have been prevented by the guy being honest.
Anne Edwards 3 years ago
The guy was honest. He ended things with her but she couldn't accept that he didn't want her. She didn't think it was fair for him to dump her. If this was the man telling the same story, these comments would be burning him in hell, she should be getting the same treatment.
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Laura Gaudiano 3 years ago
That's not "silly antics" that's stalking/restraining order stuff, if a man was doing it, cops would be called etc.
Rocky Mom 3 years ago
We know this. We really do. It just happened in this one story, he seems the ex bf never figured it out or oddly didn't find it dangerous enough to report it. No one is excusing the behavior.
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Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
BPD is WHY you did it. My ex-wife was both BPD and BD (Bipolar) when she was in her manic phase or BP, impulse control, morals, fear of consequences, all went out the window.
Wintermute 3 years ago
Jealousy is a mental illness in itself. It shows up on the OCD spectrum, which is why someone does this kind of thing despite actively not wanting to. It's a self perpetuating sort of chemical trigger (akin to an addiction) that can escalate on itself. There's an evolutionary basis for it, but that's beside the point. Knowing that it's a chemical reaction and not a personality flaw is a big help in recovering from it.
Alex the Country Dog 3 years ago
Yes you will repeat the behavior if you don’t get therapy and address what causes it. I’m glad you see it now more clearly, but you’re in denial that it wasn’t “crazy” behavior. You aren’t crazy, but the behaviors were, and what triggered it will do so again without help. It is not unrelated to your treatment for BPD and suicide attempts. Please seek help.
#18
He began stealing alcohol from our roommate (we were underage and couldn't buy it). He'd get trashed by himself and I'd have to help him to bed. Once he reached 21, he'd just get drunk and not come home. He moved onto other things, like smoking cigarettes and weed, then onto cocaine and adderall. I'm not against experimenting, but I was terrified because I cared about him and he took everything to extremes. He told me I wasn't fun. I didn't know how to party. He said my job wasn't stressful and that he needed these things. Whenever he was too tired to go out, he'd tell his friends and family that I said he couldn't go.
I figured this was a phase, and I tried to ignore it but I'd always end up venting my frustration. I was heavily invested in college and getting a job I liked, whereas he dropped out and essentially scammed people for a living. I was so angry that he didn't care about building a good career and getting an education. I drifted away from him because we had nothing in common. I tried to break up with him so many times and he'd threaten to kill himself and swore he'd stop drinking/doing cocaine/get a job, etc. It's a long story but I haven't talked to him in two years and his family firmly believes I'm f*cking insane and that he's a victim who's still going through a youthful phase (he's 27 now).
Logic and Reason 3 years ago
“Experimenting” sounds like an excellent way to get addicted to illegal drugs.
Farmboyatheart 3 years ago
This person needs to understand that it takes only ONE try to get addicted to hard drugs.
#19
I must be the crazy ex-wife. Every one of my ex-husband's exes were "crazy b*tches" so I'm probably no exception.
My ex-husband, Jon, was a complete a**hat. Is a complete a**hat. He was controlling, terrifying, and abusive, both emotionally, verbally, and physically. When I was pregnant with our son, he yelled at me over a f*cking mistake he made at work; I was panicking so badly I ended up in the hospital with false contractions.
The first time he hit me was three days after our honeymoon. I spent too much money on groceries.
It went on like that for the next year. He threatened to kill me, kill himself, kill his son (my stepson), kill our son, hurt our animals, etc. I weighed 78 lbs (while being 4 foot 10 inches in height) when I left him in December 2014.
When he hit me on our first anniversary (because I had asked him to maybe, you know, not invite his friends over to smoke meth on our anniversary), I told him if he did it again, I was going to leave.
He broke three of my ribs on December 10th, 2014, by pushing me over into the coffee table; he wanted my phone, and I didn't want him to have it. He then proceeded to ransack the house, and steal my medication (antibiotics and painkillers from a root canal), and took my phone away before going to work.
I sold my wedding ring at the pawn shop; I was hoping to stick it out for another week, just so I could go to Key West, FL with my grandmother and have one f*cking week where I wouldn't have to be a wife, a mom, or a f*cking victim. The money I got from my ring I gave to him; his logic had been "I bought the phone to give to you as a present, so it's mine and you have no right to privacy". So I paid him. "It's my phone, now, and you can't take it away" is what I said (I think?)
Three days later, I'm working at my dad's house with my son (who wasn't even 18 months old yet), so I could make sure there would be groceries for the family while I was gone. It was Jon's day off, and he spent it snorting morphine, and nodding off. He called me.
"Why are you never home on my days off your f*cking c*nt?"
My reply:
"I really don't feel like being around you."
His reply:
"Good, don't come back."
Me:
"Okay."
Hung up, got a hotel room, got an order of protection, filed for divorce, skipped going to Key West. Thankfully, my son was with ME, and I had snuck out two giant bags of clothes and stuff to my mom's house a few weeks prior.
I never cheated on him, despite his constant accusations. The f*cking assh*le spent more money on a lawyer to try and keep my son away from me than he did on his children's healthcare.
He stalked me for almost a year. He threatened to kill my current boyfriend. He's doing everything he can to take my son away from me.
F*ck you Jon.
tl;dr: exhusband was abusive; accused me of cheating; I left after he broke three of my ribs. He stalked me for a year.
MaggieWest 3 years ago
I always found it a total red flag if a guy claimed he had multiple crazy exes. Chances are he's lying or he drove them to it. Same thing if a guy would repeatedly call women "nags": no, buddy, you just don't do sh*t around the house 🙄
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
Absolutely! My sister was always meeting men who had sad, pathetic or crazy exes. Her taste in men left a lot to be desired sadly. Finally it clicked that she was picking the type who were not nice to women. If you have a man bad-mouthing their exes THINK! Not every relationship ends with the other automatically being awful, sometimes people recognise they're just incompatible and sometimes it IS your new romantic interest.
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Morgan Merrill-McNeal 3 years ago
Forget about putting down animals to save on resources and money, just kill the evil a**hats. It would save a lot more money than getting rid of pets.
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Persephone 3 years ago
Omg... this is almost exactly what happened to me. Ex spent more money on attorneys just for the sake of accusing me of everything HE did, to destroy my credibility... so that him beating the snot out of a new mother still recovering postpartum in front of his newborn daughter that he shattered glass on, would be less believable... all he cared about was his image and covering His BP1/Schizotypal breakdown.
#20
I was meeting his friends for the first time. We all went out and then came back to his house for drinks. I'm talking to his friends getting to know them and be social. He's upstairs and talking to another friend. Girl walks in and goes up stairs I think nothing of it until his friend comes down and I'm being directed elsewhere.
I realize they're trying to distract me and of course since I'd been drinking everything was a lot bigger of a deal. I throw a fit and go and knock at the LOCKED door and might've start screaming because what else was I supposed to do when he guy your seeing is in a locked room with a pretty girl? I'm humiliated, can't be talked down and am alone cause they're all his friends. Screaming, crying and the like.
So that's how I became the crazy one.
MaggieWest 3 years ago (edited)
If she were a man they wouldn't have blinked at him banging on the door demanding an answer. Such a sexist double standard.
Angela Turrall 3 years ago (edited)
Bloody hell, not a comment on this person's story but strangely related to the topic - that stock photo looks so much just like my next door neighbour I got a shock and a sick feeling in my stomach. She does in fact act like a crazy ex and this year has taken to hanging over our boundary fence to look right into my lounge to yell incoherently about whatever crap she's hating about me that week, this is exactly what she looks like when she does it. Then complains that I don't want to engage with her?! No, you either have a tantrum, scream at me, tell lies, look into my house from the fence or order your kids to do it for you from the trampoline, or damage my property by knocking things over, pouring paint everywhere, even throwing your weeds over (all of these captured on the security camera system I had to have installed because of your behaviour). Eesh.
lazy panda 3 years ago
You're an a*****e. She's crazy for realizing that the "friends" are distracting her from her significant other doing God knows what behind a locked door in the same house? Are you serious?
Load More Replies... #21
My ex posted pictures on facebook of a girl wearing the sweatshirt I bought him. When I called him out on it, he quickly deleted the photo and called my a psycho. He literally tried to convince me I was crazy, until I showed him the picture I took of that picture on my phone. He then said that he posted that picture because they had the same sweatshirt and it was such a big coincidence! Too bad that sweatshirt was from goodwill for a football team at a random high school all the way across the country. With the same jersey number on the back. He then tried to tell me I was a psycho jealous b*tch. Until I told him to cut the sh*t and he admitted to cheating on me with her multiple times. This guy was another kind of stupid.
#22
Well I guess the biggest reason is because he never told me the things I did that bothered him.
Like it exploded at some point and things came to light that he never talked to me about once.
Like for example, whenever he told me he was going out I would ask if I could tag a long. When everything blew up this was one of his issues and I told him in disbelief "Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to be alone? Why leave it at "I'm going to XXX."?"
I may have never understood if he was just tired of me or tired of us or if all his reasons were justified. I honestly thought until that point we were okay, so I guess that made me "crazy".
anarkzie 3 years ago
That's on him for not mentioning that he needed some me time, he had the problem with the amount of time you were spending together so its up to him to communicate it. As much as we like to act like there is a standard norm in dating, when you get out there and actually meet people you find that people are all different.
Béla Kun 3 years ago
I had a gf like this, but she would be mad for days because she thought if she would have asked me something (like we should go somewhere or do something she wanted to do) I would have answered it negatively. Sometimes I had to work hours before she spat out what the problem was. I was sad because of this because I could see that she had some deep emotional problems but she was so introverted that there was zero chance she would have shared those problems with me. Once she got mad at me because she dreamt that I am cheating on her (that was a wild 3 hours).
Aamna Shah 3 years ago
A lot of men say 'speak up we can't guess what's on your mind' while referring to women without realizing a lot of them do the same. It's not a gender thing.
Buren 3 years ago
There should be some personal time. One should be able to see if it's a invitation or at least ask.
Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago
The only 'should' in my opinion is communicate about your needs. If someone needs time on their own and the other doesn't, they can't guess that. I'm in a relationship where one of us needs more time alone than the other, it happens. My SO knows that though and so we're both fine with it. Even if we both needed the same alone time it might not happen AT the same time. Talk to your SO!
Load More Replies... Courtney Lunsford 3 years ago
Honestly you were probably fine. My ex would gaslight me all the time and this is kinda what it is like.
Tobias Reaper 3 years ago
if you did it enough that he blew up over it you must have done that alot sounds like you were co dependant on him if you ask to go with him everytime he goes out
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Sounds like he was a live-in, said "yes" to her tagging along but resented it, didn't tell her so she kept asking thinking this was how *they* handled it.
Load More Replies... #23
He was controlling and abusive. He had separated me from my family and friends and was pushing me (a very religious and socially conservative girl) into a sexual relationship I was not ready for. I started having panic attacks after sexual encounters before I literally ran away to Alaska (I was 18 at the time). He told everyone I knew that I was insane and had stolen a bunch of his stuff for drug money. Fun times.
#24
He never called me crazy, but if you ignore me for days after constant communication, I'm going to hide in a shadow on a street and wait for you to get home to see you're with your fianceé you conveniently forgot to tell me about.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
He sounds disturbed. Why would he build a personal relationship with someone he is cheating on, just to ghost after she becomes attached?
EEF🤓 3 years ago
Going to your boyfriends place to find out why they're ghosting you isn't crazy...
Load More Replies... #25
My ex spent years convincing me that I shouldn't make a plan B--we were moving in together and getting married. I had no plan B. And "convincing" ranged from earnest, thoughtful talks to him wearing me down with constant, unstopping b*tching.
He hammered me because he hated my friends, he "accidentally" went through my emails, Facebook, and phone at least twice each, and used that to tell me what an awful girlfriend I was.
Turns out he was f*cking the girl down the hall, the same girl who he got a job at his company.The girl he threw a double birthday party for me and her. The girl he invited to our dinners and had once a week lunch beers with.
So, while he's telling me that I need to spend less time with my friends, love him and rely on him alone, and that I'm a sh*t girlfriend, he's cheating on me. For years.
He f*cked my life and set me back years--money I could've saved, time with other people or working on school or jobs. He knew he was ruining my future and didn't care.
So, I texted his mom, his dad, and called his job to tell them he was f*cking a coworker. Doesn't seem like he got fired, which is too bad. I'd like him to restart at ground zero too.
Our many friends in common wanted to stay neutral. My response was that we don't have friends in common. I know they've all told everyone I'm a crazy, spiteful b*tch, and the truth is--yup, yup I am. 100%
Persephone 3 years ago
You know the guy isn't.... no Gaslighting narcissist goes willingly, bc they are protecting themselves from the "yucky feelings", like shame, remorse, and empathy, that they are not equipped to process!
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#26
Was never a girlfriend. But I was dating this guy I worked with. Another girl we worked with starts saying he her boyfriend. I asked him if he was seeing both of us (since we weren't exclusive it wasn't ridiculous to think) but he flipped out and was very defensive. He said they were definitely not seeing each other romantically at all and that she was crazy. Totally believed him. Then, when I quit, he invited her to my going away party and she was rambling on about their two year relationship. I confronted him about it and told me I was crazy and that I was making up everything. He said I made up that we ever went on dates. That a made up that he ever took me back to his house. That I made up all the intimate/physical stuff we did. He told me that he had never been attracted to me or done anything that should ever make me think that and that I was insane and to stay away from him. He's just telling ME this, not his girlfriend of two years, she never found out. I had to go to therapy for a bit afterwards because I was like "What if I did just make it all up somehow?" I totally didn't, or at least according to the therapist I had a "very pragmatic view on life and a firm grasp on healthy coping mechanisms". That plus at least two coworkers knew he had been cheating on her with me. So we couldn't have all imagined it.
#27
Crazy ex wife. He continually lied to me after I caught him cheating after 6 years of marriage. I had proof and he kept promising me we'd work on the marriage and he'd quit talking to her. I....just lost my sh*t. Made his life hell for the next year after that. So glad I never had children with him. At whatever point I finally let it go, I could just walk away with 0 communication.
#28
I never went crazy. I just got angry when I found out that he had been cheating on me with random strippers. His infidelity led to me getting chlamydia. So, yeah, I guess that makes me crazy /s
Becky Graybeal 3 years ago
Mine too. When I told him about the STD he lamely said, "No, I haven't been with anyone el . . . oh. Sorry." Jerk.
Load More Replies... Kantami Blossom 3 years ago (edited)
There should be a law against things like that, your lover trusts you to have their health in mind so if you cheat without protection and end up giving them an STD/STI it should be classified as a form of assault.
Adrienne Doyle 3 years ago
My ex did something similar, only said that the ex before me gave him chlamydia, but he cheated on her, and gave her it. As you can expect, one of the first things I did after leaving the ex was to get tested for every STI I could, and fortunately, everything came back negative. I'm glad I never had children, as I was able to completely get rid of that ex.
#29
Residue insecurities and anxiety from a past abusive relationship made me assume that my boyfriends only wanted me for sex and were cheating on me all the time when in reality they weren't and my constant worrying and clingy behavior was what made them so distant.
#30
I have Aspergers Syndrome that went ignored until I was eighteen. I didn't know what to do with my emotions, especially as he was emotionally/mentally abusive and that left me completely bewildered - so I kind of just went mental.
Ben 3 years ago
Somewhere in this crazy world there's someone that will treat you like a princess..don't give up
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago (edited)
So...there's someone who will marry me off to a total stranger for monetary and societal gain?
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Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 40. I'm highly functioning, but not relating to people has lead to a lot of bad relationships. On their end, not mine. I couldn't care any less and that's the problem. I'm the polar opposite of the crazy jealous girlfriend. I'm unfeeling and uber casual. Guys hate it that I don't need them in my life. They hate my independence.
#31
I was the "crazy girlfriend." Granted I was young (18-19) and it was my first serious relationship. I didn't trust my ex one bit. Didn't like his friends, was always suspicious of what he was doing. I even made him give me all his passwords. His phone was connected to Google Voice so I could also read his texts. Turns out, I was right to be suspicious. He was hiding a serious heroin addiction. I'm in a much better place now. I'm in a happy, healthy, and loving relationship with the most amazing guy who I could ever imagine. Craziness has subsided and I'd like to think I'm more mature now.
#32
I dated my first serious boyfriend for about 2 and a half years. A little over a year in, he became verbally abusive and eventually physically abusive. He demanded all of my free time, didn't let me have any friends, and wouldn't even let me play online video games because he thought I would meet someone else through them. I broke up with him and he stalked me for five months. He was telling all of his friends that we were still together. I met someone else and he followed us on one of our dates, and then he told all of his friends that I cheated on him. One of the girls he told actually called me a b*tch for it and treats me like crap when I see her on campus. I think they're dating now, ha.
#33
We had kids, he didn't help and had a major addiction to screens. He also lied to me about everything. I grew up with a sh*tty abusive home life and had never had counseling. I didn't know how to handle all the crap I was dealing with and definitely acted incredibly crazy for a few years. The crazy even spilled over into my friendships. One day I woke up, decided to change, left with the kids, and got counseling. Best thing I could have ever done for myself and my girls.
#34
"If you try to put something in my mouth that I don't want there, for any reason, I'm going to bite it."
Grim Reaper 3 years ago
They probably wanted a blow job and the gf said no
Load More Replies... #35
My side of the story is he tried to guilt me into having sex with him repeatedly, so I broke it off. Years later he looked me up and asked to be friends, he tried to guilt me into sex again, despite having a girlfriend at the time. So I told him to never contact me again and deleted his number. I heard through mutual friends that I apparently begged him to break it off with his girlfriend and take me back? It was weird as hell and I don't live in the state anymore so he can say whepatever he wants. My only regret is that I forwarded his texts asking for sex and claiming his girlfriend "didn't mind and wanted us to make love" to the girlfriend. I don't even know her, but at the time I really thought she deserved to know about it. Now I kinda wonder if that was a mean thing to do or not.
Max Cloarec 3 years ago
You did great! The girlfriend needed to know this behavior! Just imagine if you didn't do it. He will continue that. Don't regret
#36
I was dating (and later engaged to) a man who was a pathological liar. He would lie about what he had for lunch that day, it just came naturally to him. Apparently so did cheating. He did that multiple times. We had many mutual friends, and I am not the type to go to other people about my problems in relationships- I never told anyone about the times I caught him cheating or the literally hundreds of lies I caught him in constantly. This resulted in me looking like a stone cold b*tch most of the time, since he would go to our mutual friends saying I yelled at him and called him names (yes, because I found out that he cheated on me yet again) for no reason. People started talking about the horrible way I treated him, how wonderful he was for putting up with me, how controlling and jealous I was, etc. After we broke up, I lost all of our mutual friends. He started dating a girl that he had been cheating on me with (of course our friends didn't know that), and "our" friends welcomed her with open arms. The gf herself even thought I was crazy, since she apparently had no idea that her bf had a fiancee for the first 2 months of their relationship. The gf and our old mutual friends would even post little passive aggressive things online every now and then, "I'm so glad we get to spend this Christmas together, my love, I remember how you described last Christmas. Hopefully this one was at least a little better, lol!" and the like. To this day the gf (who is now his wife) has no idea. Our old mutual friends who all dumped me like a wet blanket have no idea. I'm just the crazy psycho ex girlfriend who treated her bf horribly, had major jealousy issues, was a controlling b*tch, and who, thank god, is no longer in any of their lives. They all deserve each other.
#37
There was something in his eyes when he talked down to me that morphed him into my abusive brother. When he smiled like that while talking down to me he was all I could see. I wasn't screaming at my boyfriend, I was screaming at my brother
#38
I was crazy for the first few months of my current relationship. I hated anytime he was away and didn't have to be. I had never had a SO that I wanted to be around 24/7. I've never been a dependent or clingy person. But he was emotionally distant, and I ended up being so attached and he couldn't understand. Since then, he has become more open and I have become more relaxed.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
This! Me and my husband are the same way. He is so understanding tho when I get paranoid. Previous to him I was in a really bad relationship for almost 12 years. I was in the middle of kicking my ex out of my apartment when we met. I had been broken up for over a year but uet him stay on the couch cause he is the biological of my daughter. That was so dumb of me. But now I'm happy and way more trusting 5 years later.
#39
I was young and naive. I was heads over heels in love with a guy. And in my mind letting it go wasn't an option. In my dumb young brain I thought somehow that if I talked and bugged him enough that I would somehow figure out the way to fix it. This included a drunken night of me showing up at his door and crying for two hours asking him why. To be fair he did lead me on for a while telling me we would be together after he got though his whole I wanna be alone period. OBVIOUSLY that didn't happen. It definitely made me grow up a lot. I realize now especially that when a man decides he's done with the relationship it's definitely done. So yea basically I was just a crazy idealistic girl who thought if I asked enough questions I would get an answer I would want to hear.
#40
I needed different meds and therapy. My home life was sh*t and he was my escape and so I was clingy yet I took everything out on him. Now I am doing much better since I have better meds, I have a therapist to help me understand my emotions, and I actually have him back. I needed to grow up and he needed time. So Im just a girlfriend now instead of the crazy ex/gf.
#41
I was 16 and he was 20 and I didn't understand how he was using the age difference to manipulate me. Kept me on a string of ups and downs and maybes to where or relationship was at and would shut me out and ignore me and then come back and act like I was crazy. When we broke up I was so devastated, because at 16 he was my whole life, I went absolutely nuts. He lived with my sister and was over there after a night out, he came home had another girl (after keeping me on the hook for him telling me maybe we'd be together he just needed time) and I confronted him and he just ran off. I followed him and one thing leads to another I'm getting the garage door slammed closed on my head and left there.
#42
The guy was an abusive(emotionally and physically), lying, cheating assh*le. Called me crazy when I would always find actual proof of him lying and sneaking around on me. Made sure all his friends thought I was the crazy one because he couldn't control me.
#43
Being codependent. I would let him blame me for things and make a fool of myself falling I to his game. How many things could he have me take blame for knowing I'm not to blame. It just made me seem very needy and desperate demanding he be with me at all times to know there were no infidelities..which there were plenty. So I just looked like a desperate girlfriend. I got tired of not being taken seriously
#44
I will happily call my boyfriend 30 times in a row when he's done something wrong and tries to hide from the argument.
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
You sound like his mother, not his girlfriend. Either accept him as is or cut him loose. What you’re doing now isn’t healthy for either of you.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Lol I'm a tad crazy. I'll call once, text "Pick up" and call again then text "f*ck you I'm pissed".
#45
I had an ex who cheated on me constantly, but would threaten to kill herself if I tried to leave her. She was staying with me. One of those flings who never leave type. Eventually I told her straight up- if you're going to threaten suicide, you should either do it, or cut that sh*t out. I went to her parents, told them what she was doing, showed them her e-mails and messages. They gave her two options- hand over her car keys, or they would have her committed. Haven't seen her since.
Alex the Country Dog 3 years ago
You both need therapy, and you need some perspective on your own issues. “One of those flings who never leave...”=toxic statement from you there, buddy. You told a mentally unstable person that you (supposedly) care about to either do it or shut up? That’s a real POS response. You were not a “victim” here. You were a crappy human who reacted horribly to a crappy situation. You both need mental guidance and therapy.
#46
I have clinical depression. Endured a psychotic episode last year. Tried to kill myself three times, was almost sectioned and my ex threw me out of the house. He said I was crazy. I genuinely believed everything that the voices in my head were telling me and now that I look back I realise I wasn't crazy, I was simply unwell.
#47
He was abusive, I was severely depressed, and I didn't know how to handle it. I would try to talk to him about how I felt and what I thought and he would turn himself into the victim. He talked about me to our mutual friends and when he would cheat on me and break up with me it was somehow my fault. He would get back together with me and do it all again but I was so lonely and hurt on the inside I just wanted somebody to notice me and make me feel, even if it was sh*tty
What do you think ?
Don't Look 3 years ago
I cannot stress enough how well I have learned to hear at least two sides of the story. Every time. I'd prefer three but at least two sides. Same goes for those reddit stories like AITA.
Space Whale 3 years ago
It's amazing how some people can twist the truth till it's unrecognizable and people will still believe it.
2x4b523p 3 years ago
That’s why every time someone tries to convince me that another person is “crazy” I become very wary and careful about the person doing the convincing. So far it worked for me and usually turned out the person calling someone else crazy was in fact the controlling, crazy a**hole.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
One of the patterns I see here is abusive men labelling the woman as crazy (so, gaslighting). When a man calls all his exes "crazy"--you will be the next, not the exception.
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
I was in an abusive relationship. I don't have an excuse for her behavior. But after surviving domestic abuse, I don't think that this thread is very nice to the victims.
blugeagua 3 years ago
This article is about horrible men who called their ex "crazy" when they really weren't
Load More Replies...
Kyndal T 3 years ago
I've known a few people who've said their exes are crazy. I always ask the same thing. So what did you do to make them crazy? If all your exes are crazy- it's you. The only common denominator- it's you. Sure. They might be crazy. But you attract the crazy or make the crazy. It's not just a coincidence. Anytime they get super defensive about that question- I'm out. I can't be friends with that person. My mental health and peace of mind is worth more than any person. The only man allowed to f*ck with my emotions is a foot tall with black and white fur and cute little ears. And I love that manipulative little bastard. Probably too much. But the first person to say that to my face is getting cat smacked.
Niffler_13 3 years ago
I got ghosted for a week, cause we got into an argument. Did a Google Search. Found his engagement announcement and wedding registry. Called him out on it, he called me insecure and crazy.
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
Please everyone know that no matter what you think and how alone you may feel there is always someone there who can help and you don't have to put up with abuse of any kind. There is so much support available these days and the hardest part isn't taking that first step, it's believing that someone cares. It is by no means easy picking yourself up from the lows but know that you are worth more.
Rose 3 years ago
I was the crazy ex wife, true I had mental health issues, but I was constantly pregnant and he was abusive. Finally a friend said if I go back he would kill me, everyone in town knew it. So I left, but without the kids - I was running for my life. Ex got custody of the kids cause I was crazy, mentally unstable and had abandoned the kids (I had no way of getting them as he watched the 24/7, I was the one who had to go to work, even while pregnant. He kept the kids as a hostage to my syaying)staying. Up shot 3 years later I get a call, kids have been taken off him cause he's started on them. I get custody. But his family still call me a crazy b***h... well I was ... for marrying him in the first place. 30 years away from him and guess what, my mental health started to improve from the day I left
Don't Look 3 years ago
I cannot stress enough how well I have learned to hear at least two sides of the story. Every time. I'd prefer three but at least two sides. Same goes for those reddit stories like AITA.
Space Whale 3 years ago
It's amazing how some people can twist the truth till it's unrecognizable and people will still believe it.
2x4b523p 3 years ago
That’s why every time someone tries to convince me that another person is “crazy” I become very wary and careful about the person doing the convincing. So far it worked for me and usually turned out the person calling someone else crazy was in fact the controlling, crazy a**hole.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
One of the patterns I see here is abusive men labelling the woman as crazy (so, gaslighting). When a man calls all his exes "crazy"--you will be the next, not the exception.
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
I was in an abusive relationship. I don't have an excuse for her behavior. But after surviving domestic abuse, I don't think that this thread is very nice to the victims.
blugeagua 3 years ago
This article is about horrible men who called their ex "crazy" when they really weren't
Load More Replies... Kyndal T 3 years ago
I've known a few people who've said their exes are crazy. I always ask the same thing. So what did you do to make them crazy? If all your exes are crazy- it's you. The only common denominator- it's you. Sure. They might be crazy. But you attract the crazy or make the crazy. It's not just a coincidence. Anytime they get super defensive about that question- I'm out. I can't be friends with that person. My mental health and peace of mind is worth more than any person. The only man allowed to f*ck with my emotions is a foot tall with black and white fur and cute little ears. And I love that manipulative little bastard. Probably too much. But the first person to say that to my face is getting cat smacked.
Niffler_13 3 years ago
I got ghosted for a week, cause we got into an argument. Did a Google Search. Found his engagement announcement and wedding registry. Called him out on it, he called me insecure and crazy.
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
Please everyone know that no matter what you think and how alone you may feel there is always someone there who can help and you don't have to put up with abuse of any kind. There is so much support available these days and the hardest part isn't taking that first step, it's believing that someone cares. It is by no means easy picking yourself up from the lows but know that you are worth more.
Rose 3 years ago
I was the crazy ex wife, true I had mental health issues, but I was constantly pregnant and he was abusive. Finally a friend said if I go back he would kill me, everyone in town knew it. So I left, but without the kids - I was running for my life. Ex got custody of the kids cause I was crazy, mentally unstable and had abandoned the kids (I had no way of getting them as he watched the 24/7, I was the one who had to go to work, even while pregnant. He kept the kids as a hostage to my syaying)staying. Up shot 3 years later I get a call, kids have been taken off him cause he's started on them. I get custody. But his family still call me a crazy b***h... well I was ... for marrying him in the first place. 30 years away from him and guess what, my mental health started to improve from the day I left
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