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Kids have no filter, and we love collecting all the unhinged things they say. One group of people who have an endless supply of these gems is teachers.
So after Reddit user Loud_Bluejay_6663 asked them to share the craziest family lore a student has told them, the replies immediately flew in.
From embarrassing injury reports to confessions about secret relatives, I guess it's easier to spill the tea when you're still figuring out the rules of the world.
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#1
A 2nd grader: "my mom said that once my dad learns a few things, he might could come home but right now he's in "time out" for adults because he messed up REALLY bad and the judge said he gets a BIG time out. He doesn't have to stay in a chair though, he gets a room.".
Shark Lady 1 week ago
That's a really clever way to describe prison to young children. Time out is something they can understand
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
It really is a brilliant way isn’t it , exactly how kids think and can understand , without lying to them like some people do , ive heard oh daddy’s had to go away to work , for a few years. That’s just plain wrong imo , this way is lovely x
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Purple Gurl 1 week ago
You don't even know what happened. Get off the high horse, buddy.
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#2
I taught preschool. One of my favorite 4-year-old kiddos was just coloring with me at the end of a long day. Suddenly he looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hey. My Mommy used to be a boy. She still has boy parts. I grew in different belly and then my Mommy took me out and that was that. I know you thought she’s always been a mommy. She hides it good.”
And then casually went back to coloring a cat picture.
I never in a thousand years would have known had he not spilled the beans. Hopefully he felt good getting that out? Hope you’re doing well in elementary school Sam!
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Good for the parent for explaining things to the child honestly, simply, and early.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
Sam's mom is still his mom even if his mom still has boy parts :)
Rich Black 3 days ago
thats a very advanced sentence for a 4 year old. possible future nobel level intellect? (JK)
Mary Peace 5 days ago
Apart from the obvious, I like the "I know you thought she's always been a mommy". Did the teacher then have to hand the child over to mom at 'going home time'?
Midoribird Aoi 5 days ago
Probably. The child pretty clearly has been given an age-appropriate talk about his parents and wanted to share his newfound knowledge.
Load More Replies... #3
"Mummy is sleeping in a different room because it isn't daddy's baby in her tummy" .
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
Oooffff oi mum n dad , when talking about that shite MAKE SURE your child isn’t within ear shot 🤦♀️kids miss NOTHING ,
Sparkle 1 week ago
I call them little tape recorders. They don't forget anything!
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Rich Black 3 days ago
and she was sleeping in a different room when she got the baby in her tummy, too
#4
I was an "extra course" teacher for 2 weeks at the boys-only school.
One of the boys (12) asked me: "Aren't you afraid to be in a class full of men?" (haha... 12yo... "men"). I said I do not, and why should I?
To my horror, this 14yo said "Because my dad has seen you and said you should be, and that if you're not - he cannot wait to have a meeting with you. He said women should be afraid."
I never met the dad. I told about it to the main teacher and my colleague I was teaching with though (both men). I hope the kid (and his mom) are ok.
Julie S 1 week ago
You really don't know what Incel means do you, Crystal.
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Roxy222uk 1 week ago
This should have instigated a whole class discussion and work from the male teachers about what is and isn’t true on the internet, how men are being played, and what human rights are. It should have come from a place of compassion, not just for women, but for young lads trying to make sense of a world out to exploit their vulnerabilities for its own gain. That would have been an amazing teachable moment - missed :-(
Robert T 1 week ago
Yes. The whole world doesn't speak English as its first language.
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#5
I was a 1st grade math and reading tutor. 20 years ago, I complimented Allison on her beautiful winter coat. She told me her mom walked into someone’s house and got it for her. She told me that’s how she got her boots too. I asked her if that happens a lot and she said, “yeah especially before we go visit daddy in prison. We’re going this weekend!!”
I looked at the teacher and she just kind of did a little nod and shrug and moved on.
So anyway, seems mom didn’t want daddy to worry about them while he was doing time, but yeah they were not ok.
Allison was genuinely the sweetest girl in the whole class. I wonder how she’s doing now. I hope the universe is taking care of her.
Alex Kennedy 1 week ago
Much better than a vague hope in “the Universe” would be a competent and well-funded social safety net.
Michael Largey 1 week ago
For a child that age, a competent and well-funded social safety net is only a starting point.
Load More Replies... Pedantic Panda 1 week ago
I hope both members of staff took some positive action on this, such as put in support to help the family. Otherwise mum might get nicked and then poor kid could be put into care.
Brian Droste 1 week ago
If hope this didn't teach the child that she could do this as a adult now that she is one?
#6
So this is a core memory for me.not really family lore but it showed a glimpse into what must go on in the house.
I'm teaching kids gymnastics during high school and there's one girl maybe 6. She always wore clunky costume jewelry which was cute because she matched her grandmother who would drop her off. Anyway it's just at the start of class and I'm letting them jump on the trampoline as kids funnel in. She's happy and jumping one minute, and the next she is full on sobbing. I figured she landed on an ankle wrong or something so I go over to comfort her and she sobs 'I'M SAD BECAUSE JESUS SACRIFICED FOR OUR SINS AND I MISS HIM' and I'm just...not really sure what to do - so I told we can go get a drink from the water fountain and calm down. She calmed down and went about class but...full on sobbing??? You miss Jesus??? I just remember thinking 'im not super Jewish but I am TOO Jewish for this situation lol'.
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
Eugh poor lass being born in to this kinda religious lunatic home , this was disturbing totally , but loving the to Jewish 😂😂
Rich Black 3 days ago
and in related news . . . half the world has declared jihad on unbelievers
Mary Peace 5 days ago
I'm a Christian, so I would have said, "It's OK, Jesus is with you all the time even though you can't see him." Sorry if that's boring, it's what I believe and if she was crying like that about him it would be true for her too.
#7
I had an elementary student ask me to not put out the newspaper that day because her dads arrest was on the front page /:.
#8
Daycare. “My mom isn’t wearing panties today!” Proceeds to mime lifting a skirt- “she said look at this Daniel (dad)!”.
#9
4th grader: “My mom and dad aren’t together anymore because I took a video of my mom cheating and sent it to my dad”.
#10
“On new years, my dad drank too many bottles and got really mad so now he has to go live somewhere else for a few months to learn to not be so mad”.
Andrew Keir 6 days ago
We can but hope, although some places he might be aren't very good at curing the mistakes that brought their , er, clients there.
Load More Replies... #11
Teacher to smelly kid: "I think you need to have a bath when you get home"
Smelly kid: "Can't have a bath coz Colleen (sibling) sleeps in the bath."
Teacher was obviously horrified. Smelly kid was one of 6+ kids in the family and space was limited.
Bec 1 week ago
My friend's first teaching job in a middle school. She was annoyed with an otherwise good student for not doing her homework, when the student told her she didn't do her homework because her parents were fighting and her dad was angry do she had to hide in the bathroom with her younger siblings all night and hadn't brought her backpack with her. 😞. My friend then made it a policy that any of her students could come to her classroom during her lunch and free hour to work on homework and have a safe space.
Mary Peace 5 days ago
Surely they take Colleen's bedding out of the bath, then the bath can be used?
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
💔does. Other not know about BIRTHCONTROL this is awful heartbreaking totally , poor kids 💔😱
#12
Had a kid tell me that she wouldn’t be in the next day. When I asked why, she said her dad was in debt with some bad people after him, so they had to leave. Sure enough, student never came back.
#13
Im not a school teacher but I used to teach a summer educational program in a national park. We had kids from all over the US. One day, a new group of teens is meeting each other and discussing regional stereotypes. There’s this tough kid from rural Louisiana and someone asks him “is it true that everyone’s parents are cousins down there?” And he blankly responds “Im not gonna say yes or no but I’ll tell you I’m the only one on my baseball team who’s not related to another player” .
#14
6 year old, first thing he said when he walked in one morning. “My dad is an alcoholic and he uses the system.
I can only imagine what his mom must have been saying on the drive to schools.
#15
Once a 4th grader pointed to another kid on the playground and said “see that kid? He used to be my brother but then his dad cheated on my mom so he’s not my brother anymore”.
Purple Gurl 1 week ago
That is awful. Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but there is nothing that could make me say my brother is not my brother anymore. He may be the cause of several of my greying hairs, but he is still my PITA brother
Multa Nocte 6 days ago
I don't think the child was doing it to be mean. I think the child was just repeating what his parents told him.
Load More Replies... #16
While student teaching I had a student without me even asking proudly come up and tell me about how his mom’s two boyfriends weren’t getting along as well as they used to.
My O My 1 week ago
I mean, that's just a normal reaction for a kid living with polyarmorous parents. I don't think it weird or anything
Carey Jacksonn 1 week ago
Well yes, but it’s weird the kid was bluntly sharing family information
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Anne Roberts 6 days ago
I am a retired preschool teacher. I used to joke that being a preschool teacher was sometimes like being a bartender that everyone spills their secrets to. People (usually kids) tell you all sorts of thing, some of which can makes your eyes cross! 😁
#17
Had a kid and her mom come into the room where there were a lot of other parents and from across the room the child apologized for being late and went on to say they were late because her mom opened a kitchen cabinet and it was covered in cockroaches. The mother looked like she was going to melt from the embarrassment.
Bertha Madott 1 week ago
My mother in SWANKY condo had cockroaches. Eat off the floor clean.
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Lee451 Henderson 1 week ago
As a former exterminator cockroaches can be found everywhere. Too many apartment dwellers don' t mention that have a problem until it starts spreading to other apartments. A little Maxforce gel will take care of the problem in two weeks.
Purple Gurl 1 week ago
Crystal-this happened to a good family friend of mine who lived in a slum area in Romania. Almost a daily thing until his father got promoted to a Colonel-or whatever the equivalent is in the National Army-and became a Ordnance Disposal Unit Leader. Then they were able to get to a better situation
highwaycrossingfrog 1 week ago
To be fair, OP is in the USA, but I doubt Crystalwitch bothered to check before assuming
Auntriarch 1 week ago (edited)
Your crystal ball told you it was America? Cockroaches and shyte landlords are both very widespread species
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#18
A second grader explained that her cousin (who was in 4th grade, same school) was not her cousin but her sister, and her daddy had had 3 wives but “she couldn’t tell anyone or they’d send the police over again.”
That explained the minivan full of kids at pickup.
#19
A student once told me her mom was on tinder. I was like oh, interesting, and she's like yeah it means she's cheating on my dad. Oh is that what that meant? And then she said "Yeah, I saw her bio and it said she was looking for a third person soo"
Pretended to not know what that meant and I doubt she did either.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 4 days ago
probably not cheating then. seeing as it said she's looking for a third person.
#20
My son in kindergarten regularly talks at school about having a ghost dad and a regular dad (long story, but ghost dad is a Japanese soldier from WWII, his real dad is alive and well). He includes ghost dad in drawings of his family in school, so hey Ms. Burk if youre in here, I'd love to clear the air lol.
Jaya 1 week ago
I was confused what they meant, I looked on the original post. Apparently OP and their family are just very superstitious and think that some "mysterious things" happening in their house must mean their house is haunted, but they're not scared of the "ghost" because it has a dad vibe, so that's why they call it ghost dad.
Purple Gurl 1 week ago
Don't scoff. I do believe that some of us in the world have been here before. I can't explain it, but have met too many folks with knowledge beyond their years to say it can't happen
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
There is no such thing as "past lives". How can you believe that we have past lives but you're anti-Christian and don't believe we have souls? What moves on from past life to past life, if not the equivalent of a soul?
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#21
When I worked at an after school care program for rich Montessori kids, a preschooler told me "grandpa got mad at mommy cause she drank too much red juice and throwed up on the table, last night!".
Sheena Leversedge Wood 4 days ago
weirdly good for settling your stomach after a heavy night, though, with vodka and spicy stuff.
Load More Replies... Multa Nocte 6 days ago
Not for me. Red wine makes me sick quickly and gives me a frightful headache. I would probably hurl after a single glass. And me living an hour and a half from Bordeaux in France! 🤷🏻
Load More Replies... #22
I have been teaching elementary school for 14 years and the craziest thing I ever heard was from a 7-year-old during a simple writing prompt about weekend plans. This kid casually wrote 150 words explaining how his dad has a second family in a city 45 miles away and that they only visit on Tuesdays. He even listed the make and model of the car they hide in the garage so the neighbors dont see it. It turned into a massive legal situation that involved 3 lawyers and a 6-month investigation because the kid was 100% accurate about the details.
#23
Two years ago, one of my third graders started using a different last name on her papers. When I asked why, she said, “That’s my mom’s old last name. My dad cheated on her and just left us for the filthy witch.” The student was normally so demure and sweet, and kindness is a huge thing at my school, but I just nodded, said I was sorry to hear that, and walked away. I wasn’t going to wade into those waters (although I did give the guidance counselor a heads up).
#24
I used to volunteer to read to kids who needed some extra adult 1:1 time at my children’s primary school. One day a young lady very plainly explained to me how her parents explained to her that she would turn into a werewolf at 18. She was serious. I watched her grow up and graduate high school- as a human. A little shocked for real.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
I remember when I was a child I was very convinced that, when I hit puberty, I would get my mutant powers and become one of the X-Men. I was also convinced for a while that I was a werewolf, because I'm adopted and I don't know for sure who my biological father was, so it was pretty easy to convince myself that of course he had been a werewolf and I would be one too XD I wonder if this kid was just pretending that her parents had told her she'd become a werewolf at 18, or if they, at some point, had played along with her fantasy in the "of course, dear" fashion.
Purple Gurl 1 week ago
Similar-I loved the 80's movie The Worst Witch-one of Tim Curry's earlier roles-and I dreamed of being chosen to go to a school for magic. Mind you, this was about 30 years before Harry Potter
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person (i think) 5 days ago
That is confirmation bias. OP doesn’t seem to understand you can only tell someone is a werewolf at night during a full moon, which does not typically coincide with school hours.
#25
I knew something big happened with one of our intermediate kids(4-6th grade) but not what so after seeing them after a few weeks I was talking to them and they casually dropped that their parent had given them a black eye. Another kid said their parents showed them a picture of a corpse before school and that really upset them. Like yeah me too.
Daisydaisy 1 week ago
I wasn't a perfect mum, but sheesh - no black eyes and no pictures of corpses! 😫
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
It could just be how they write. It's sometimes hard to convey tone via text on a screen. Hopefully they reported it.
Load More Replies... Kiss Army 4 hours ago (edited)
After my dad retired from the Army, he became a cop. When he came back from police academy, I asked him to show me some moves, he was showing me one where you flip someone over if they attack you from behind and when he swiveled around he elbowed me in the eye and gave me a black eye completely and totally by accident (I was about 13-14). I thought it was hilarious but he felt horrible and was almost crying over it. He spoiled me more than usual for quite a long time after and it became a big joke when I was asking him for a "big ask" I would say "Remember that time you gave me a black eye..." and he would say "What do you want now?" (I would give anything to say that to him again - RIP Daddy)
#26
My mom taught elementary school and has dozens of stories, but one of my favorites was not so much a lore drop, but the kid brought a ziploc bag of "sugar" for show & tell. He said he found it under mom & dad's bed.
My mom called the police and the kid probably ended up in foster care.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
I'm not sure foster care is always a good thing - it's often high on 'foster' but not always 100% on 'care'
Load More Replies... #27
My wife taught school and for a short period, had 4K and kindergarten under her charge.
One of the first days of school, a little girl grabbed my wife’s dress and lifted it way up.
Having dealt with kids a lot, my wife barely raised an eyebrow. “Why did you do that, honey?”, she asked.
The little girl said, “I was checking to see if you wear underwear, because my mommy doesn’t.”.
Kelly H. Wilder 1 week ago
Like pre-k (4 year-old kindergarten?), and kindergarten would be 5 year-olds
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#28
"My mum told me that she wanted to abort me but my dad persuaded her not to, and now he doesn't even talk to me".
Jaya 1 week ago (edited)
There's nothing wrong with mom wanting to have an abortion, but the kid should NEVER EVER know about that. As an adult, it's easy to understand why she's want an abortion and know that it has absolutely nothing to do with who the kid is. But a kid will not be able to separate those two things, and will feel "mom didn't want ME to exist", and will feel guilty or unloved or not good enough. It can lead to great psychological damage. Mom and all the other adults in the situation should have made sure that the kid would never ever hear about it.
Brian Droste 1 week ago
So the kid has a mother who didn't want her so she might be neglected by her mother and the dad doesn't speak to her. I am wondering what type of life she is going to have growing up?
#29
Not my student, but my coworker had a kid pull up a news article on his Chromebook of his dads arrest. He got angry and threw a chalupa at the Taco Bell employee. The article dubbed him the “chalupa chucker”.
Andrew Keir 6 days ago
The kid could do without all the press screaming. Press couldn't care less about the family, they just want a (shocking) story. The fallout isn't their problem.
#30
I had two students in the same 6th grade class with the same dad, different moms.
This is in a medium-sized city where there are dozens of schools in a city, and students go to school in the zone closest to their home. That means dad got two women pregnant in the same small area of this city.
Dad left the mom of one girl to be with the mom of the other girl. The girls were lovely and got along really well, like stepsisters/besties. They knew it was strange but they were cool about it and that was heartwarming 🩵
Parent teacher conferences were fascinating because I met each mom (dad didn’t attend either) and they were really opposite of one another. So there’s a little drama that maybe isn’t drama at all 🤷🏼♀️.
Doug Moyer 1 week ago
I think you're missing the point that the kids are the same age so the guy knocked up both women in a relatively short period. And at no point does the OP mention that marriage was involved with either woman. I had an electrician in the Bahamas that had two kids, nearly the same age, with different women and he called them ghetto twins (not in front of the kids).
Load More Replies... #31
When my daughter was in first grade, she asked the teacher if she could make an announcement. The teacher agreed. My daughter went to the the front of the class & said : “God gave us lips for a reason. If we want to be mean, they help keep our mouth shut.”.
#32
My partner age 4 told the nuns his house burned down the night before. He was hella specific about it. They had all sorts of support services, donation fund, meal train, etc., in place when his mom picked him up that day. His mom said they did own a tv at that time but that it wasn't kept out so she and her husband couldn't figure out how he knew so many details about emergency service procedures. He doesn't remember any of this haha but his mom was mortified.
#33
I told my teacher when I was a freshman that my mom threw me down a flight of stairs and I lost part of my tibia to a nail hanging out of the stair. My dad cauterized it with a blowtorch.
Teacher calls CPS.
CPS asks my parents about it.
Parents tell CPS I’m lying about it.
When answering the CPS worker about it, I just throw my leg up on the desk and show them the scar and asked them to put their thumb in the hole where my bone should be.
Parents moved us out of state to my moms brothers house in Arkansas that night.
The Chronic Insomniac 1 week ago
I find this one a bit hard to believe. Perhaps they lost a chunk of flesh but a chunk of bone??? That seems unlikely. Either way, it sounds as if they were in a horribly a*****e family which is very sad.
Catmom 1 week ago
Same in high school as college: freshman in 9th grade, sophomore in 10th grade, junior in 11th grade, senior 12th. In the US, anyway.
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#34
“My dad can’t eat garlic because it makes him fart so much” 🤣🤣🤣.
Devin Schmitt 6 days ago
It's worked for me so far. Also helps with werewolves. *Your results may vary*
Load More Replies... #35
“Tyler sleeps on the couch”
I have no idea who Tyler is and the child was not accepting questions at this time.
#36
Not a teacher.
My daughter went to pre-k one day and told everyone that her baby brother Jonah had passed.
My daughter is, and has always been an only child. There is no Jonah. She made him up. The poor sub (main teacher was out on maternity leave) was this 20 year old college student and she approached my wife at pickup that day and was trying her hardest to be gentle because obviously the loss of a little one is probably the hardest thing a parent could bare (the center had actually had one of the kids lose a sibling to SIDS just a few weeks before). The relief I’m sure that poor TA must have felt when my wife broke the news. 😂
Kids are jerks. Funny jerks. But jerks nonetheless.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
*Some* kids are jerks. Others are doing their best to obey the rules they often don't understand and may not even have been taught
#37
One of my students told me that his mom was having a histerectomy (after asking me, in a conspiratorial whisper if i knew what a period was lol) and that was why she couldn't come to field day.
Jaya 1 week ago
A kid whispering "hey teacher, do you know what a period is", that makes me laugh so hard.
Purple Gurl 1 week ago
I hate to be pedantic, but it is spelled 'hysterectomy'. From the Greek hystera (uterus). Also the basis for the now defunct medical illness of hysteria-thought to be cured by removing the womb to cure a woman's 'uncontrollable emotions' Take it as you will.
Rosecat 6 days ago
Ancient Greek for uterus, no one uses that word anymore
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#38
Ex Kindergarten teacher here. A student of mine during my second year of teaching her mom faked cancer. My student would say things like “I helped give mom shots. It’s her special medicine.” At 5 years old! She had a GoFundMe and everything.
The mom was the mystery reader one day at school and came in in a wheelchair and had a friend pushing her. She read to the kids for about an hour. A book about historical figures. To 5 year olds. She acted completely normal and didn’t look sick in the slightest.
It was about a month or so after that it all unraveled. She was actually charged with fraud an spent some time in prison.
Luckily, the dad was amazing and the kid grew up pretty well adjusted, considering all the mom trauma.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Of all the crimes involved here, lying about this to her own kid is , imho, the worst.
#39
I had a student tell me that their dad (step-dad that mom married a year before) had been married 4 times, but this time it was gonna stick.
Also, 99% sure this was a mail-order bride situation.
#40
I just got to see a family tree that a student put on the board, and they listed the 9 half siblings that are confirmed, but apparently it’s in the lore that there’s 13. (Dad is not Nick Cannon).
#41
Saw a student at the pool one summer.
Student - “Hi Mrs! It’s my birthday!”
Me - “How exciting! Happy Birthday!”
S- “yeah, this is my party, at the pool. I almost had to miss it. See? My arm is wrapped up. The hospital said I broke it but my mom said we’d go back for a cast after my party.”
Me - 😳😳😳
Arm was indeed in a sling and wrapped up.
Purple Gurl 6 days ago
Curious as to why the downvotes. I said this because the hospital should have casted the arm right away, not let the mom take the kid to the pool and get a cast later. That is how I interpreted the story. If you let a broken bone go without being properly set, it could be damaged worse, become an open fracture, or if lucky-start healing in the wrong position, requiring re-breaking and setting, or surgery.
Load More Replies... #42
17 year old boy who still slept in the same bed as his mother, and this came out in a meeting with him and his mom, and neither of them regarded it as odd at all. (It wasn’t necessary due to housing or anything like that - he had his own room.).
Daisydaisy 1 week ago
I'm a big fan of co-sleeping but it generally ends when they're about three years old!
#43
Not a teacher but mom was the school nurse at a Catholic school (free tuition) and my family was one who constantly had comedy movies, particularly anything military-related, on screen.
By the time I was in nursery school circa 1985 Stripes was in solid rotation and there is an iconic John Candy mud wrestling scene.
~5 year old me had many incorrect assumptions as to what was happening in that scene so when asked by my teacher (who was also a nun) what I wanted to be when I grew up I responded “I want to wrestle in Jello!!”
Mum was mortified.
#44
Had a student who said his dad was a colonel in the army and he would be gone on “missions” for an extended period of time. It turned out “colonel” was actually an honorific for an auctioneer. Our school counselor did some digging and found out that the “colonel” was actually the students dad, and the students mom was his side piece. The “missions” were when the colonel was with his wife and other son.
#45
I was a 1-on-1 assistant for a student on the spectrum. He was 15 at the time of this
Me: what did you do over the weekend?
Him: I played video games while my mom drank boxed wine.
Purple Gurl 6 days ago
I love this for the fact that most folks on the Spectrum have absolutely no filter. It is actually refreshing to talk to them, instead of trying to interpret all the careful phrasing and masking that most people do in real life. I would love more people to say : Yes, that looks hideous, rather than: That is an interesting choice
ILoveMySon 5 days ago
I hosted a dinner party and drank TWO glasses of wine. My son was young and made up a song including lyrics "Mommy was drinking wine on the railroad tracks...". I was MORTIFIED.
#46
I had a kindergartener tell me her mom was in jail bc she set the house on fire with all the kids (and her disabled brother) inside. Absolutely broke my heart.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Unfortunately , in many countries jail is plentiful, mental treatment is overwhelmed
Load More Replies... #47
I'm the parent but I'm friends with the teacher. She taught my daughter in Pre-K. One day, I was running late and I explained that I have narcolepsy and had fallen asleep. She assured me it was okay and when I got to the school, the teacher said "actually, we've known for a while. Your husband picked her up from school one day and she said 'oh that's my daddy. I guess mommy is sleeping again. Ughhhh she's always sleeping, she has narcolepsy'" like I had personally inconvenienced her. I do feel really bad when my disorder affects them, but I try my best. Some days are just harder than others. today for instance I drank three energy drinks and STILL couldn't stay awake.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
I've got narcolepsy and I can confirm that all the caffeine and energy drinks in the world won't help you stay awake if you're going to have a narcolepsy episode XD I used to be mortified of my narcolepsy and was worried that it was frustrating and inconveniencing my then-boyfriend (he would get upset when I would fall asleep when we were watching football on Sundays.) One time we were at a convention and I was so afraid of falling asleep during the panels/events that I drank dozens of those little bottles of 5-Hour Energy. We were talking to a friend of ours later that day and I passed out while standing. Somehow managed to convince everyone NOT to call the paramedics (see prior mortification.)
Sue User 1 week ago (edited)
Imagine feeling inconvenienced by someone's medical condition. OP needs to give herself some grace.
Lee451 Henderson 1 week ago
I am diabetic and always feel inconvenienced by it.
Load More Replies... #48
Had a kindergartener casually mention during snack time that their great-grandfather was a "famous bank robber" in the 1920s. Apparently the whole family was proud of it and kept newspaper clippings framed in their living room. Wild.
BarBeeGirl 1 week ago
My great great great grandfather was a famous (or infamous) serial killer and grave robber. And yes I am proud of it and will tell everyone if given a chance.
#49
Little girl accidently told me her parents are siblings. She was telling me about her trip to her parents' home country. They'd gone back for her grandfather's funeral. She's telling me this whole big long story with some extra characters, aunts, and uncles. I'm trying to keep track and ask her clarifying questions. She eventually loses her thread, and that's when she mentioned her parents' reactions and how they were grieving. Initially, she'd told me it was her dad's dad, but then she's telling me something about how her mom was wailing, "My father! My father!" That's when I really lock in, and I say, "Wait, I'm confused, I thought it was your dad's dad?" She looks at me 👀, eyes expanding to the size of saucers, then proceeds to take me on another rollercoaster of details, but I know what I heard. Plus, it was easy to believe, given all the other things (which I shall not reveal here) that we knew about the family.
#50
Somewhat related, my gf works at a daycare and has two kids in her class that are sister-cousins. Same mom, and the dads are brothers .
#51
I’ve got a student who was terrible all year acting like he’s been scared straight these past couple weeks. I finally got him to tell me why he’s so quiet. His mom told him he’d been so bad and evil that a demon was going to crawl inside him at the devil’s hour (3:00am) if he didn’t start being better. He is terrified! And another second grader in that class jumped in telling me there are little demons and big demons and the little ones lead you to the big ones. Kid looks like he’s seen some stuff. I asked him where he got that from and he said TikTok.
Then there was the time I was doing a lesson on tolerance and one of the 1st graders said his mama told him there’s about to be world war 3. And another one said his mama told him white people were out to get black people. 🤦♀️😬💁♀️.
Multa Nocte 6 days ago
I do hope that people report this person to BP. This is unbalanced.
Load More Replies... Robert Cosgrove 1 week ago
Casual rascism, generalisation, asserting fact with no evidence and writing in capitals. I'm trying to think who you remind me of. You should have ended with 'Thank you for your attention to this matter'
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#52
A bit of the other perspective - I got a call from the mom I nannied for after her son’s parent-teacher conference in kindergarten. I had met the family when I taught pre-k and the boy was in our after-school program. Apparently he had said something in school that made the nuns question what type of Catholics the family truly were. When they asked mom and dad, mom started laughing hysterically and said that that wasn’t something they ever told their son, but they knew who did. Thankfully I wasn’t in trouble, because the mom completely understood how I would say such a thing.
The questionable religious lesson: the reason God gave people elbows was so you have somewhere to cough and sneeze. God gave them to you. Use them!
Yes. I 100% said that to her child. More than once. And for the love of all that’s right and holy, stop coughing on ME!
Jaya 1 week ago
The story is funny, but the bigger story is: how toxic is a school where they judge whether a student's family are good enough Christians or not. Ugh.
RevBear 1 week ago
Sounds like a typical "religious" school in the USA, to me. I went to one and questions like this were asked.
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#53
My nephew told his class “mama hurt her back cuz she slipped on my boogers!”
My SIL had slipped in his barf, when he ate one too many slices of deli cheese at the grocery store. Her back’s never been the same.
He’s almost 18 now, I like to make fun of him with this one.
Purple Gurl 1 week ago (edited)
At least this one is wholesome. By that I mean the tease about the kid's choice of words, not the incident itself. There are some running jokes in my family about folks using the weirdest words instead of the technically correct one. My fave was at a restaurant, and it was me. I was showing off how good I could read to relatives, and called the side dish I saw on the specials whole corneld kern. 40 years later, and they still bring it up.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
I hope OP just means that they joke with the nephew about the phrasing of what he said as a kid - "mama hurt her back cuz she slipped on my boogers" when it was not, in fact, boogers at all. Otherwise yes, the teasing would be over the line.
Load More Replies... #54
I had an 8th grade student tell me once that his dad was “the bicycle storer” for their church, so when the apocalypse happens and there’s an EMP, everyone at their church will have a bike to ride. Their garage is apparently packed with bicycles. “That’s my dad’s job. Everyone in the church has a job to do while the rest of the world burns.”
I wondered what happened to them at Covid because his dad quit his very publicly visible employment.
Purple Gurl 6 days ago
Isn't there a Red Bull commercial recently showing the zombies getting faster with the drink? Maybe I am remembering wrong
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
That would work on the surface but would end with viewers thinking RED bull was dangerous.
Load More Replies... #55
Not a teacher, but when I went to pick up my kiddo from afterschool care one day, I overheard a child telling one of the teachers “my mommy doesn’t drink grown up juice because her uncle would drink it and hit her.”
To be honest, I still don’t know how I feel about overhearing it. On one hand, I felt bad that the child knew about that, but on the other, I know my child has overheard stories I’ve told when I thought they weren’t in the room or were asleep. But I also give big kudos to that mom for not even risking being like that around her child.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
A lot of people have rock-solid reasons for not drinking. Please, never do the "Oh but you haven't tried this, I insist that you drink it" on anyone. Their life, their decisions - and, often, their d**n good reasons.
#56
Doing a Mother's Day survey sheet with 4th graders, looking over the answers as I moved around the room...
"Mom's favorite food: salad and vodka".
#57
TBH I didn't get this from the kid, but from admin, but I had a 6th grader who was held hostage for several days with his parents. I had to know because he would be sensitive when the anniversary. He was a total sweetheart, I wouldn't have even suspected something so traumatic otherwise.
#58
"My mom is suing the company she works at because she thinks they're discriminating against her because she has lots of kids."
Idk what happened with the lawsuit, but the family was difficult, to put it mildly. They had 2 nannies and a housekeeper, and one of the kids (age 6 at the time) let slip that he did his own laundry, and had since he was 4. I felt so bad for those kids. I guess it's proof that money can't buy happiness, but those kids deserved better.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Looking at some of the papers / media recently , there seems almost to be a negative correlation ...
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murmelinpaiva 1 week ago
My kids did their own laundry ever since they were tall enough to reach the buttons on the washer and dryer. I taught them how to be responsible people.
#59
“My mommy and my daddy don’t live together anymore because my mommy was mean to my daddy. Hey, do you like my shoes?”.
Auntriarch 1 week ago
Reminds me of couple that told their little boy he was adopted, and his response was "Oh. What's for tea?"
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 week ago
That was pretty much my reaction when I found out! I was 6. I found a Polaroid of a woman holding a baby in a hospital and "Rose and Crystal, 1982" was written on it. I took the photo and asked my mom who Rose was (I knew I was Crystal, and I knew I'd been born in 1982, so I figured I was the baby.) My mom freaked out and started crying. My older sister (adoptive parents' bio child) ran in and also started freaking out and crying. I was sort of blinking at them in confusion as my mother sobbingly explained that I was adopted. I apparently said "Oh. Okay. So like how we adopted Split?" Split was the family dog XD I didn't care one bit that I was adopted.
Load More Replies... #60
Ooooh! I have one! I’ve been teaching 20+ years and this year, about a month into school, two of the students in my p3 8th grade class told me that one girl in my class was the “auntie” of the other boy in my class. I asked them to repeat it and they did, smiling ear to ear. Both great kids. And here’s the kicker: auntie is younger than her nephew who sits three desks away.
Stardust she/her 1 week ago
My niece and nephew are close to me in age while my cousin is like in his fifties. Not too weird lol
Auntriarch 1 week ago
We had such a pair in my class, the niece was a couple of months older than the uncle, who was a laat lammetjie.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 week ago (edited)
It's pretty common for different branches of a family to have different generations the same age as each other. When I was aged 5-7 I had an uncle and niece in my class. My best friend has a "cousin" the same age who's exact relationship to her I'm never quite clear on, but he's either a generation before or after her. I have a great-niece only 5.5 years younger than my niece on the other side. (My partner's sister is 8 years older than him and had her kids in her early to mid 20s. I'm 3 years younger than him, and my sis is 2 years younger than me (~a 14 year difference between his sister and mine), and had her kids mid to late 30s. 26 year age gap between his niece and mine. That's all it takes.)
Winter 2 days ago (edited)
My father had one half-brother about 9 years older than him, and one half-brother more than 30 years younger than him - so I had a "little uncle" when I was in my early late teens - early twenties. How: my paternal grandmother had been married, and had a son with her husband. Nine years later, she divorced her husband and married my paternal grandfather. They had a son, my father. Many, many years later, my paternal grandmother died, and my grandfather remarried - and you guessed it, had a son with his new, very young, wife: my "little uncle"! "We were not amused!"
#61
Had a 2yo tell me they had a skeleton in their basement. I figured lol halloween decor, but it was a little funny, so I mentioned it to his mom, and she said no, they had a *real* skeleton in the basement that dad had seen someone taking to drop off at the thrift store, but he was like WOW and the person gave it to him instead. I did not ask further questions, but I don’t think it was a plastic one.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
I can't get past the feeling that a human skeleton deserves cremation or a proper burial. But that's just me.
Mike Phillips 5 days ago
Med students used to,, or maybe still do, need a real skeleton to learn from. Plastic can’t easily replicate bone structures.
Load More Replies... #62
Student casually says in dead silence ‘my parents are cousins’. I don’t remember how I found out it was true, but it was true. They were first cousins.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 week ago
I had a school friend whose parents were first cousins. It's not common here, but there's no taboo about it.
Brian Droste 1 week ago
I had a uncle whose wife was his second cousin I believe. I didn't know this until within the last couple of years.
What do you think ?
Eastendbird 1 week ago
One of my favourites was when I was reading the book "We're going on a bear hunt" to the class and one little boy piped up with "My mummy calls my daddy her hairy bear. She says he has hair aaaaallll over.." Made the next parent/teacher conference fun.
Coralinea 1 week ago
Pre Christmas my niece's teacher asked if any of them played an instrument and to bring that in the next day. Niece says she plays the recorder. At home, she tells her mum she needs to bring the recorder, big confusion, as she doesn't play it. They have a talk with her, she needs to tell the teacher tomorrow. Next day: niece comes home from school and my brother asks her if she had told the teacher that she didn't play the recorder. Niece "Yes, I did. And I told her that I play the piano. But that's too big to bring in." We're not sure if she's actively telling fibs or, more likely, thinks the random tapping of keys is actual playing.
Eastendbird 1 week ago
One of my favourites was when I was reading the book "We're going on a bear hunt" to the class and one little boy piped up with "My mummy calls my daddy her hairy bear. She says he has hair aaaaallll over.." Made the next parent/teacher conference fun.
Coralinea 1 week ago
Pre Christmas my niece's teacher asked if any of them played an instrument and to bring that in the next day. Niece says she plays the recorder. At home, she tells her mum she needs to bring the recorder, big confusion, as she doesn't play it. They have a talk with her, she needs to tell the teacher tomorrow. Next day: niece comes home from school and my brother asks her if she had told the teacher that she didn't play the recorder. Niece "Yes, I did. And I told her that I play the piano. But that's too big to bring in." We're not sure if she's actively telling fibs or, more likely, thinks the random tapping of keys is actual playing.
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