Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group
Many years ago, the great Dutch philosopher Erasmus of Rotterdam wrote his famous treatise called "The Praise of Stupidity". A lot of time has passed since then, and people continue to do incredibly stupid things and, moreover, willingly talk about how they did them, and how they felt doing them.
On the other hand, if a person realizes that what they once did was really stupid, this means at least they have realized their own mistake and will try not to make it in the future. Well, or at least they will do new silly things... But then, many years later, there will be something to remember and tell friends and relatives about!
There is an incredible thread in the AskReddit community whose topic starter asked just one question many years ago: "What is the stupidest thing you've done?" The result was around 17.2K upvotes, over 16.3K different comments - and such deposits of human stupidity of various levels that Erasmus of Rotterdam, if he had read this thread, would have continued his treatise in at least three more new books.
But the great philosopher died in 1536, and we at Bored Panda are here, alive and well, and have collected for you a selection of the best comments from this epic thread. So now feel free to scroll to the very end, enjoy these amazing examples of stupid deeds - and please solemnly swear not to do them like the authors!
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I woke up one night. Saw a hand on my pillow. Started to freak out, froze. Waited. Decided I'd move. Screamed and jumped when the hand moved.
It was my hand.
CookieCrump 3 years ago
Ah yes, the human hand, the most terrifying thing to see when you haven't fully woken up.
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
My brother once woke up with something fluffy breathing into his face. We didn't have pets. For a heart stopping moment his first thought was "a rat". He switched his bedside lamp on: Turned out the balcony door had been left open and the landlady's cat liked to cuddle up.
Dawn Woolley 3 years ago
I had almost the same experience. Somehow I'd fallen asleep with my forearm propped up on the spare pillow next to me. I woke up to see this hand looming over my face and almost had a heart attack.
LuckyL 3 years ago
I woke up and couldn't breathe, my arm and hand had fallen asleep and were across my face. I needed my second hand, to lift up my arm to catch some air.
Load More Replies...
Randolph Croft 3 years ago
It's a bit more common than you'd think. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/when-your-mind-disowns-a-limb/
BookCrazyTeen 3 years ago
Once when I was younger I was buried under a pile of stuffed animals and blankets, I felt a hand touch one of my limbs and freaked out. Guess who’s hand it was?
Adele Vincent 3 years ago
This can happen when you have nerve issues. I had my entire right arm fall dead asleep (I was having rotator cuff issues at that time) I felt "An arm in bed with me" but couldn't feel my hand touching it as I felt along it. (A disembodied arm in bed with you - try not to freak everyone). When it connected to my own shoulder I was so freaked out because I knew just how dead asleep it was.
RELATED:
#2
Let's see, where to start.
I once killed a pint of vodka, straight, on a dare. Spent the rest of the night ralphing.
I fell for a prank of laying a stick across a shovel handle and then stomping the shovel spade to see how high the stick would go.
I had my windshield tinted to 5% on my car.
I sent a Nairobi prince some cash so I'd get a big return. I really did.
I voted for Ross Perot in '92.
I volunteered for several things in boot camp without knowing what they were.
I rear ended a cop car. During the questioning, I got the involuntary giggles and when the cop asked if I thought it was funny, I said "Yes."
In little league, I chased a ball under the bleachers from the back side. Imagine running fast as the bleacher seats get lower and lower. Cracked my head open.
Hit on a starting linebacker's girlfriend at a frat party. I even knew it was his girlfriend.
Noticed my "low oil pressure" light on in the car; decided I could make it to the next exit 10 miles away.
Took bowling as a HYPERS class in college. Cheated on the final exam and got caught.
Decided to jump in the water to p**s; left the boat in gear.
Spent a half hour trying to pick up a quarter someone had super glued to a sidewalk.
I'm really not as dumb as all this sounds. I'm just...impulsive.
Denise Melek 3 years ago
No, my Eiffel tower is better, and it's just 500.000!
Load More Replies...
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Lol, at least when you die you can look back and think "Hell, my life was interesting ;P "
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
Once I was driving home in the late evening and suddenly noticed a squirrel in the middle of the road, so I slowed and stopped. Squirrel didn’t move. I inched closer and revved my engine a little bit. Didn’t move. I inched even closer, swearing “fkn move mr squirrel” under my breath, and honked. Took about 30 more seconds for me to realize it was a pinecone. 😅 classic me move, at least it’s been an interesting life if nothing else eh?
Load More Replies... Superninjatiger 3 years ago (edited)
Depending on the age the person was in Little League, cracking the skull open could lead to impulsivity issues if brain get damaged, so some of the stupidity could be linked to that.
Cecilia 3 years ago
Humpty, looked it up, it's a class for hyperactive students, I e. people who are ADHD
Load More Replies... 
#3
Late for work, running around the house looking for my keys. Ran upstairs, saw them on the desk, pointed at them and said to the air, "There they are." I was nearly to the front door before I realized I didn't actually pick them up.
LH25 3 years ago
At least you didn't leave and find yourself locked out. Yes, speaking from experience...
Scott 3 years ago
I learned how to break into one of the flats I lived in for a while because I kept locking myself out. Then I bought a townhouse, and had to learn how to break into it too. Thankfully my neighbours knew I lived there and how... absent minded I can be.
Load More Replies...
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago (edited)
Yea lol i'v done similar stuff lol even today i went to get a box cutter saw the box cutter on the table, and went back to where i was widout the box cutter.
Seedy Vine 3 years ago
I have to keep reminding myself that there's a difference between LOOKING at a thing and GRABBING that thing.
Arcade Fire_Fan 3 years ago
I one time was super thirsty and imagined myself drink waters d I opened my eyes again and realized I was still sitting in bed and still severely dehydrated.
The Silly Stellar Jay 3 years ago
My family member had a similar thing happen recently. They biked to school, forgot their bike lock, biked home to get it, bikes back to school and finds that they forgot the key to the bike lock. Oh college.
David Heisterkamp 3 years ago
ALWAYS put your keys in the same spot, or one - and only one - alternative spot. You'll never look for your keys again. Promise.
#4
The girl of my dreams came back to my place after dinner and drinks, we had been friends for a long time but never a hint of anything more.
I was in a sleeping bag, on the floor. She told me "Hey, you can jump up under the quilt to get warm" and my response was "Oh, this sleeping bag is really warm!"
It wasn't until the next day that I realized what I had done.
...Wow. Thinking about this makes me really depressed :(
sofacushionfort 3 years ago (edited)
Just perhaps consider: your feelings were emotional but her’s just recreational. You’d be in for a bigger letdown when the sex didn’t lead to any sort of romantic bond. Just my opinion: turning down sex does not compromise one’s masculinity
Jaya 3 years ago
If you realize the day after, it's quite likely that you are not too late. Invite the person again that evening and try to kiss them, there's a pretty good chance they'll still be interested. Or if you're brave enough to be vulnerable, you could even call/message them, and say 'I just realized today that you might have been hitting on me yesterday, I am such an idiot for not realizing. I am really into you, I hate my self for not saying yes. Do you wanna come over today? And if you weren't actually hitting on me, I apologize for this message'.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
I did a very similar thing. She may still think I am an idiot and she would be right.
Red 3 years ago
Back in the day guys used to flirt with me by saying how interesting and curious must be kissing someone with a tongue piercing, so my automatic response became a generic "yeah, it's fun, it's cool..." Just brushing it off. When my then crush said it to me I just automatically brushed him off and went on with my life like no big deal. Couple of days later my friend told me he was testing the waters and thought I wasn't interested. 🤦♀️
#5
I once started talking s**t about a friend who I'd forgotten we had just picked up and was sitting in the backseat of the car. This one still keeps me up at night.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Just imagine how the friend must have felt.... not only did het here what you said, he was deemed invisible too....
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
...and that's OP's waking flash backs for the next couple of weeks taken care of. (Not that I don't empathize - with both parties)
Load More Replies...
Whalen With An N 3 years ago
My buddy and I used to go to parties thrown by this big group of friends. We were on the outskirts of this group. Their ages ranged from 18-35. We were in the 35 range. We went to one of their parties and the young ones all got hammered and made complete asses out of themselves and puked everywhere. Two days later one of the called to see if we wanted to come to a party the next week. I said we had plans. It was early cell phone days and I thought I had disconnected the call. Then I turned to my friend and complained that I always felt like a chaperone at their parties because these kids power drank like frat boys and I was tired of being the baby sitter. Yeah, I never hung up and the girl who called heard it all. When I realized the phone was one, I said, "Look, it was shitty to say it behind your back, but you heard it and you know it's true. Yet, again I was a d**k for not saying to your face to begin with." She was cool about it and then agreed with me.
Donny Bereznak 3 years ago
My grandmother taught me the solution to this problem. If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say it at all.
Peeka_Mimi 3 years ago
Don't talk sh*t about anyone ever and you won't have this problem again.
#6
One of my ex's and I met in the city. We always went on dates in the city and never close to where we lived. I had just moved to the area, I had heard of the place he lived in but didn't think it was close to where I lived, and never really thought about it. Then I started staying over at his place, and when I was going home the following afternoons I would take the tram into city centre (~20 minutes) and then get the bus to my house (another ~40 minutes). I honestly thought the village he lived in was far from my house so I took the route I knew. Turns out he lives a 10 minute walk away. I did this like 8 times.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
Years ago I took over my sister's tutoring round when she was heavily pregnant. She had built it up over years, it was not even my home country so despite her carefully planned bus list, I kept getting disoriented. So I spent a day with a days bus pass and a lot of walking to get it straight in my head. Turned out, she had spent on average 2 hours a day extra connecting busses solved with a 1minute walk to a parallel street. Couldn't see that from the bus.
2x4b523p 3 years ago
My grandparents were on vacation some 40 years ago, way before smartphones and GPS. Parked their car in a town and went exploring. After almost full day there they visited a nice old church and decided that’s all for the day and traced their steps back to the car park. After two hours walking they got back to the car park, looked up and saw the back of that nice old church about 50m from their car.
Helen Edwards 3 years ago
This is why I plan my journeys with google maps if I am going somewhere unfamiliar, especially if I am going by public transit. From my experience, cities with bus systems often don't have straightforward route planning systems, but google with give you all the info you need with reasonable accuracy.
Madeleine 3 years ago
CityMapper is good too. It will even tell you which part of the platform to stand on if you are transferring to another train.
Load More Replies...
Irish woman abroad 3 years ago (edited)
I had a friend whose bf was a bit of a d**k at times. He'd given her directions to a newish shopping centre out in the middle of nowhere, and part of this included taking the exit for... [can't remember the town], going to the roundabout, then taking the exit for [Town where shopping centre is]. As we're doing this, I realised we were back on the road we'd been on, only about 200 metres further down. I pointed this out to her, and her jaw dropped as she realised she'd been making this completely ridiculous detour of about 1km for weeks. There was a hell of a row when she got home, but he just thought it was hilarious.
Seedy Vine 3 years ago
I spent a year on a college campus, taking the absolutely longest route possible to a class... Finally figured it out and got to sleep in later.
#7
I stapled my finger to see if stapling my finger was possible. can confirm, it is.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Who saw the red stapler and immediately thought "Office Space!"? Raise your hand.
SewingStaffy 3 years ago
I did this, was working as a pharmacy assistant and learning how to become a pharmacist. Stood talking to the pharmacist and he watched as I did it. Said, for someone pretty smart you are stupid
Keller Worthen 3 years ago
I was fidgeting with a stapler while being a TA in my school library. Stapler triggers, stole hits me. I definitely bled, but the staple didn't get stuck.
Ian Webling 3 years ago
The first three times I picked up a stapler I ended up with a staple in a finger. Different times, different staplers.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Meh, i stuck my finger in a electric socket because i was curious.... ( I was 7 or 8 in my defence ,)
Cyndielouwhoo 3 years ago
My brother put my mom's car keys in an industrial outlet at my elementary school during a bake sale...the electricity was off for a while so they moved the sale outside. As he was wearing rubber soles shoes so was ok. He was 4 at the time.
Load More Replies...
Dandelion Girl 3 years ago
My mom stapled her tongue to see if stapling her tongue was possible, and I was opening a pack of beads wrong and a staple shot up like fully underneath my nail. Just an entire staple underneath my pointer fingernail and it hurt like hell. Had to have surgery :/
#8
Opened up a carton of orange juice and noticed it said shake well before use. Proceeded to violently shake the holy hell out of the carton as it rained vitamin C goodness over the kitchen and me. Housemate walked in and asked "what the f**k is wrong with you?" as if I'd done it on purpose and was thorougly enjoying my OJ shower
Irish woman abroad 3 years ago
My dad did this with a ketchup bottle, with a loose lid. Omg, my mother was cleaning up tomato for days!!
Load More Replies...
David Heisterkamp 3 years ago
At least you weren't looking for your cell phone using the flashlight on your cell phone.
Mariam Kutuusa 3 years ago (edited)
I legitimately did that and even called the police to report my phone stolen using the same phone.
Load More Replies...
Bunzilla 3 years ago
Few things drive me more bonkers than my mother deciding she doesn't actually need to close containers all the way. Oh, big bottle of pills? I'll just put the cap on enough so that it'll fall off when you try to pick it up, thus spilling the pills everywhere. Oh, bottle of juice you need to shake before pouring? Same deal. Just loose enough that you'll get juice all over the place if you try to shake it.
Noah Libitsky 3 years ago
Umm my mom is not supposed to know I have my phone out right now and I just started dying laughing 🤣🤣. Thanks 🙄
King of Goose 3 years ago (edited)
I once opened a can of carbonated drink, and thought to myself, "Oh dang! I forgot to shake it!" I shook it (open) and soaked my friend and I in sticky, sugary liquid.
Randy Volz 3 years ago
Did the same thing with a bottle of V8. That beautiful slow-motion arc of red, and the subsequent 'sploosh' across my kitchen counter was a sight to behold.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
I was holding an open half gallon milk carton when it slipped out of my hand and landed upright on the kitchen floor. The three-foot fountain of milk that erupted from it cracked me up. My mom was not amused.
Load More Replies... Seedy Vine 3 years ago
I once made a new pitcher of juice and my step mom came and dumped it all down the kitchen sink drain, thinking the pitcher was just dirty.
#9
I work as a substitute middle school teacher. At the beginning of each day the kids listen to the announcements. One time they announced that one of the students who had been battling cancer passed away the night before.
So me, being the great guy I am, give the students five minutes of time to sit quietly and reflect. Then I decide to lighten the mood by calling attendance, so I use a bizarre inflection to entertain the students.
Called out "Tyler?", no response. Call it out again, no response. Finally one student piped up and said that was the kid that died the day before.
This was after I called his name out several times with differing tones of voice to be comical, while all the students saw was me bashing the dead kid. F**k.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
I remember when a kid in my year lost his battle when I was 15. Substitute teacher walked in to our silent maths lesson with a breezy "looks like someone died here". We all silently got up and left. Took me a while to realise school not supply was at fault for that.
DelvianBlue 3 years ago
Shame on the school for not telling the sub beforehand. I bet he felt awful when he found out.
Load More Replies... 
Alex Boyd 3 years ago
He was a substitute, and didn't realize that the Tyler in the class he was covering was the student from the announcement.
Load More Replies...
#10
Barber while cutting my hair asks ''what do you do for a living?". I replied "I'm an accountant. You?"
Bored&InSchool 3 years ago
yeah, it's a natural thing to say, leading to this type of situation. like someone saying "happy birthday" to you and you saying "you too".
Load More Replies... Anonymous panda 3 years ago
Lol thats like when a waiter/waitress says have a good meal and you say you too
MJ 3 years ago
Ditto. Every time I used to fly the person taking my ticket(back in the day) would say, have a nice flight. I always said, you too! Doh!
Load More Replies... 
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago (edited)
While on a vacation that revolved around attending the theatre, my husband and I got into a discussion over breakfast about the plays we had attended so far and theatre, in general, with another couple staying at the B&B. I’ve been attending plays there every year since I was very young. The guy we were talking to was a successful Broadway actor who had also performed on the stage of this (internationally known) theatre. He & his wife were in town to see his daughter make her debut there. Since I so obviously love theatre, he made the assumption that I, too, had made that my profession & asked about my roles. I said I wasn’t in theatre & he reacted in surprise and asked why not.Without thinking I said, “I didn’t think that it was likely you could actually make a living at it.” My husband kicked me - HARD - under the table. He looked like he’d been slapped with a cod fish, and his wife almost fell out of her chair laughing. (TG, he forgave my gaffe. Had a nice afternoon with them.)
#11
One time I went through the drive thru at Dunkin donuts and stopped at the trash can instead of the speaker for about 5-8 minutes repeatedly saying "hello?"
Daniel Atkins 3 years ago
Meanwhile the employees are all watching you on the cctv saying "look at this idiot."
WildHoneyPie 3 years ago
We had a library customer once who swore up and down she had returned the books she kept getting overdue notices about. My boss was talking to her and kind of walking her through how she returned them. I've never seen someone's head turn so fast as my boss took in where the woman was pointing. She pointed to the entrance instead of the side of the building where the book drop was. Boss walked out with the woman to make sure. She had "returned" them to the trash can!
#12
I asked my friend if he had got his car back from the garage while we were sitting in it...I am not a smart man.
Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
The panicked text you send your SO when you've lost your cellphone,,, that you are texting on.
Load More Replies...
#13
Back to girls house after dinner. She has early class the next day so gets ready for bed, but says I can stay and keep her company for a while.
Laying in her bed, she's in silk pajamas, I'm fully clothed. We're just talking. I start running my hand up and down her back. She says "mmmm.... you'd better stop that, I'm getting turned on"
So I stopped.
Like a F*****g idiot.
Malina1606 3 years ago
Actually I think if your first impulse was to stop after she kinda told you to stop it makes you quite a decent person. Misunderstandings can be discussed or hopefully laughed off in a case like this but us girls are usually happy about our NO or STOP being respected.
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago (edited)
I’ve had a moment like this where I was kind of trying to tease the guy (“oh stop, you’re getting me all worked up, giggle giggle,”)and get him to do more….but then he stopped. And then I realized that I was being weird and had technically asked him to stop, even if it seemed I was insinuating something else, he still stopped because he was being respectful which made me like him even more. (And then I told him “actually you know what? I kind of like that, please don’t stop” and the rest of the night is history!)
Load More Replies...
XenoMurph 3 years ago
Or reported as assault the following day. Girls, stop giving clues, we are terrible at clues, and are petrified of misconstrued signals. We need a yes or no.
Load More Replies...
#14
I put an umbrella handle in my mouth and pushed the button to release the umbrella.
I thought the umbrella would shoot out the front of my mouth and open. Instead the handle extended back into my mouth and broke my front teeth.
No idea why I thought that.
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
I did that once too and almost broke my nose, I had loads of bags and it started to rain ... meh
glowworm2 3 years ago
I can kind of see the logic in this but how damn big is your mouth to be able to hold an umbrella handle in the first place.
charli 3 years ago
probably like one of the small ones that doesn't have a hooked handle on it. like one you can put in your backpack?
Load More Replies... 
#15
Called my girlfriend a "big girl" for finishing her dinner.
Irish woman abroad 3 years ago
More like, are you single?... This could be why!
Load More Replies...
Adele Vincent 3 years ago
Only acceptable if you'd just been around a toddler minutes prior.... otherwise? Well...
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
"Oh My, You got so big!" only works on babies... not on girlfriends.
#16
Not me, but a friend of mine was dead serious and asked why don't wheelchairs have pedals for when your arms get tired.
ThreeAngryLlamas 3 years ago
Hey, my arms work and my legs work. I have serious back problems, which is why I use a chair. I would LOVE pedals.
Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
Yep, foot propelling a wheelchair (using the floor) is way more common than most people realise. My legs CAN work, they just don't do it on the same schedule as me! I can totally ride a bike on the flat, but I can't walk when I get to where I'm going.
Load More Replies...
Little but Fierce 3 years ago
This isn't stupid. More than 50% of all wheelchair users are ambulatory or semi-ambulatory (meaning they can walk at least some - this encompasses people who use wheelchairs due to chronic fatigue or chronic pain who may be able to walk fine some days, or may be able to walk but need a wheelchair for long distances, through to people who can only take a couple of steps). There are also wheelchair users who can't walk due to back or balance issues, to name just two, but their feet work just fine. Ableds have this stupid idea that all wheelchair users are either completely paralysed from the neck down or amputees, but that's just ignorance. It's dangerous since ambulatory wheelchair users are at high risk of attack if people see them so much as stand for one second. Being able to stand or walk a little doesn't mean you don't need a wheelchair!
SomePeopleCallMeMaurice 3 years ago
My friend wanted to call the theater to find out what time the midnight movie started. Another marveled how the snow always flew toward you, no matter which way you drove. No common sense, but very high book smarts!
Chris Cristo 3 years ago
Actually, I've seen some with 'pedals' you can rotate and steer with your arms. It wasn't a wheelchair as we know it but more like a tricycle.
Adele Vincent 3 years ago
Not wrong though - a large percentage of folks in wheelchairs have working legs. It's very ableist to think otherwise. Pedals might be good for some.
#17
Friend came to my house. Knocked on my door. When I answered it I was greeted with "Hey are you home?"
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
“Talk to the hand cause the face ain’t listening” ✋
Load More Replies...
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Done that but on the phone, called a Land line and when the other person answered i asked if She was home...
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
In early days of mobiles, I was talking to my sister when she asked "how did you know where I was" firstly, it's a mobile so irrelevant, secondly - you phoned me.
Load More Replies... Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
No, this is the cat... Bob is away at the moment. Give treats now and I won't scratch your dumb a$$!
Christof Irran 3 years ago
Have been asked that by my significant other, meaning: "Shall I tell them (the ones who rang the doorbell) that you are not home?"
#18
Unable to find my phone, in a complete state of panic, sending my friend a text asking
"Dude, did I leave my phone at your place? I can't find it anywhere!".
He replied "... what are you using to send this text, genius?"
I have never, in my life, been so ashamed.
*EDIT :* To clarify, this was quite a few years ago, before smartphones and Google Voice. We're talking some of the first color-screen Nokias here.
Jossh Nine 3 years ago
Not to be rude, but I don't think the model of phone you were using comes in to play here haha
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I did that once - got up from the table where I'd been eating lunch and went "uh-oh where's my phone??" and started frantically looking around for it... while it was right there in my hand. I had been using it to read while I ate, so I think my subconscious had reclassified it as a book.
Sam Lin 3 years ago
I had done a similar thing years ago, looked around my room for my cell phone for 10 minutes and failed to find it, then grabed a "random thing" from my pocket and made a call to my friend, asked "Have you seen my cellphone? I can't find it." He then replied "What's wrong with you? What are you using to call me?"
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
I texted my dad once asking him to call me cause I couldn’t find my phone… d’oh
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
When I was 8, I was doing homework. I got up for something, then sat back down. I couldn’t find my pencil. I ran around in a panic, unable to find my pencil, when I realised it was in my hand…
#19
I was riding my bike and wondered what would happen if I stuck my feet in the spokes of my front tire.
Answer: Flipped over the handle bars, broke my two front teeth and road rash on half my face.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
You got a different outcome.... my friends daughter got two broken wrists out of her try ;P
Jaya 3 years ago
As a young teen, I tried to take off my sweater while riding my bike. I did that with jackets all the time, but those have a zipper so you don't have to pull them over your head. My thought process: it's only takes 1 second to pull it over me head, it's a straight road, what could go wrong? Yep...
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
I did this on accident once. Tore a chunk of skin off my chin down to the bone, messed up my back, tore the skin off the knuckles of my left hand and totaled my bike. Best part of the night spent at the ER was the nurse accidentally punching me in the chin when he put a blanket over my shoulders. Or maybe finding out local anesthetic doesn’t really work on me. Good times. Good times.
AliJanx 3 years ago
My bike had fenders. My foot rode up the wheel and my big toe got chewed to pieces by the fender.
Bored_Panda 3 years ago
One time, I was walking while closing my eyes for fun....I ended up in a pond and walked home soaking wet 🙃
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
Well yeah stupid stuff like this happens… I once accidentally did that, and I literally crashed off the bike. But I didn’t break anything.
#20
When I was younger I got kicked out of ballet class because I kept running into the mirrors thinking they were open windows or like portals to another world or something.
Michael Reed 3 years ago
Walked into a mirror once thinking it was a doorway and was apologising to my reflection for bumping into them and then stood aside to let them pass before realising it was me
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
You win the comments today, Michael.
Load More Replies...
Dragonmonkey17 3 years ago
I really feel for the ballet teacher that had to explain why you couldn't come back. "No matter how many times we tell her not to do it, she just takes off straight into a mirror every time I turn my back to her. I look away for a second and she goes bouncing off the wall mirror "
Featherytoad 3 years ago
How do you mistake mirrors for open windows? Wouldn't you notice someone walking towards you or the room behind you?
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
If you kept doing it, I'd say you were a little on the dumb side.
#21
After a night of drinking, we went back to my then-boyfriend's place to chill. He turned on the tv, but I had other ideas. I pulled the rolling chair away from his computer desk, placing myself between him & the tv. I turned the chair backward threw my leg over in what I thought was going to be a seductive manner, whipping my hair a little. Ended up putting my foot down on the edge of the wheelie part on the other side, rolled my ankle, and my momentum carried me all the way over to the floor. I hit the ground, the chair back smashed my face, and my nose started bleeding. Not my brightest moment.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago (edited)
Lamoooo this reminds me of a sexy sexy story, i have a friend that really loves to tease, She loves the atention, once we went shopping and She bought a lolipop, then we went for a coffe, and wille i was driving She started licking the lolipop in a very very sugestive way, ( does nothing for me só i didn't care ) when i was parking i accidentaly hit a very low pole on the parking lot, and She almost swallow the entire f*****g lolipop stick and all, i never laughed só much in my life, She was really pissed at me though lol
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago (edited)
I have a hilarious friend like this, she was hyper-sexual (her words, not mine) and ended up in a few hilarious moments because of it (dropped her debit card at Starbucks and tried to bend over all sexy without realizing she was putting her a*s right in the face of an unappreciative older lady who was in a wheelchair behind her; trying to pole dance on a cheap aluminum sign for a newly-opened sushi restaurant and breaking it and having to pay $300 for it; getting kicked out of a public children’s playground mini water park TWICE for wearing just nipple pasties and a thong and water wings (the dads loved it of course hahaha); AND, just like your friend, trying to sexily lick a popsicle on the very full skytrain and accidentally stabbing herself in the back of the throat! I laughed way too hard ) I love her to death and she’s absolutely gorgeous but I kept telling her she needs to calm tf down hahahaha 😂
Load More Replies...
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Exactly, but in a way its the exact se thing lol.
Load More Replies... 
Michael Vickery 3 years ago
I would have died laughing if this happened in front of me, and also would have thought it adorable. I think klutzy is cute.
#22
Missed the school bus and potential rides to school one morning because I couldn't find my backpack, eventually realized it was on my back.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Lol amateur i once spent 15 minutes looking for my car ant it was right Next to me lol ( i had a white car, changed the color to black, went to a Supermarket, then spent 15 minutes looking for the car, i was about to call the police to report a theft, when i look at my brother leanning in to a black car, and he asked me " are you opening the car you moron, or AM i waiting here the rest of the day "
Sage Gusano 3 years ago
Trying to find my glasses. I couldn't see clearly, so I put on my glasses to help me while I looked....
Winter Eleven 3 years ago (edited)
Dude i lost my glasses hundred of times (am always wearing them since can't see s**t without them) and once spend half an hour looking for my glasses... While wearing them ..
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
My housemate and I searched for my glasses for a solid 15-minutes. I found them on top of my head. My question: what was my housemate thinking?
#23
I like to think I am not stupid, but I have one memory gap that leads people to believe I am dumb as soup.
I cant f*****g recall right and left off the top of my head!
It is so f*****g frustrating!
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Look at the back of your hands. Stick your thumbs out. The hand that is L shaped, that is your left. Someone explained this to me as to how they learned left from right.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
I know this trick too but I always end up scribbling in the air with a invisible pen to see which one is right.
Load More Replies...
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
I know a numbere of people that have this, even my SO has this sometimes... I'll just reply with "The other left sweety.." ;)
Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
I have this problem and my husband dose that.
Load More Replies... 
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Unless they’re truly ambidextrous, wouldn’t it help to remember which hand they write with?
Dynein 3 years ago
Note that the OP includes the phrase "off the top of my head". As in, they almost certainly DO know left and right - just not at once, they have to think about this first. Btw I have the same problem. I'm strongly right-handed so the distinction is no problem at all, but if I'm driving a car across an intersection and the passenger yells "turn left!" at the last moment, the only part of the command I'll be able to reliably follow is "turn". To get the *direction* right, I'll need a second and some available brainspace to process it.
Load More Replies...
Lady Fos-Boss 3 years ago
I do this too, and so does my dad. I think its a left-handed thing, we get so confused since the entire world is right orientated.
SomePeopleCallMeMaurice 3 years ago
I can only remember vertical from horizontal, because I once heard a guy refer to sex as the horizontal mambo.
Linus G. 3 years ago
I had a friend in college who could not tell right from left. We would use the mirror for left and the radio antenna for right. "So Harry, you want to take two mirrors then one antenna and you will be there. Store will be on your antenna." He bought a new car with TWO mirrors and the antenna was wire in the rear window. When he left his house no one ever saw him again.
#24
Last weekend my friend asked for a ride across town since he left his phone at a bar the previous night. Somehow I heard "car" instead of "phone" so dropped him off and drove home. I don't answer calls while I'm driving since I'm a bad driver too, so didn't realize I missed three of his calls til I got home. I'm sure there's others but my memories going pretty fast as well.
Tharizin 🇺🇦 3 years ago
I feel like not answering calls when you’re driving doesn’t classify you as a bad driver
Francine Govan 3 years ago
I think OP meant that s/he was already not a confident driver, so was especially careful by not answering his phone whilst driving! 😀
Load More Replies...
Jaya 3 years ago
Which means he's never out of beer when you visit. I see this as a win /j
Load More Replies...
#25
In a spelling bee I spelled the word python:
"pee" "why" "eth" "oh" "en"
I was quickly reminded that "eth" is not a letter, though to this day I think that maybe it should be.
Ace 3 years ago
There used to be, the letter thorn (Þ, þ). In Old English and many other languages, was gradually replaced by the th in most of them.
Full Name 3 years ago
Spell Thorn with the actual letter and see what the word looks like >:)
Load More Replies... Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
I know what all the letters are called in multiple languages and scripts, but I cannot spell anything aloud. Asked to identify letters in that way my brain just stares at them and seizes. I cannot give you this information.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
I am Italian, we don't have "spelling" even as a concept, let alone a word. We have to say "tell me the letters one by one" and we use it only when having to write down foreign words (and sometimes Italian last names, but it's very rare). Spelling bees in Italy would go on until the heat death of the universe.
Load More Replies...
Lorraine R 3 years ago
Those are the voiced and unvoiced "th" letters, right?
Load More Replies...
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
Eth (/ɛð/, uppercase: Ð, lowercase: ð; also spelled edh or eð), - Wikipedia
#26
I asked my wife who was upstairs to drop my phone down to me. As it was falling I thought it would be cool to catch a phone with one finger. It wasn't.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Well.... I tried to " catch " a pallet with my foot..... ( I use to wear steel tip boots, and web i was putting heavy stuff on the ground i would 1st rest them on my foot that way i knew i wouldn't damage the floor Paint or tilles, that day i was wearing Sneakers and i forgot i had them on......
Jordi Sharpe 3 years ago
I once tossed a blue pallet (70 lbs+) onto a small stack, only to have it bounce back and hit me right in the knee.
Load More Replies...
Oreo Tookie 3 years ago
I dropped my soldering iron at work, and caught it by the hot end. Thankfully I let go super fast and only scorched my skin, not burned it!
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
I was at the dermatologist's office, so of course I had my shirt off waiting for her. Had this thought, sitting there, that I might just want to get my phone out of my shirt pocket, but the doctor came in, and the thought went poof. When we were don taking 14 skin tags off (two quite big), she went out, and I grabbed my shirt, pulled it over my head, and watched my phone land on a hard floor face down. $400 later, two days later, I had a new phone. This one has insurance.
#27
"I can probably make this jump". Every. Single. Time.
Telmo Belo 3 years ago
I was once on a loading bay and saw a waist-high box next to a 2m tower of boxes and thought "if I use the small box as boost I can jump over that tower." In the air I thought "small box is falling." and forgot to land. Broke both ankle bones.
#28
When my girlfriend asked why I am always late when going to her place, my response was "Im only late for things that aren't important".
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Yea ... I had a gf that was NEVER on time to meet me, She was always 10 to 15 minutes late, once i went to pick her up, and 10 minutes passed, 20 minutes passed, i called her again to tell her i was waiting, no answer,30 minutes, 40 minutes, 45 minutes later She shows up very apologetic and says, i'm sorry i fell a sleep after you called me....
Stylishsidewaysbird 3 years ago
Freudian slip? It’s really disrespectful to always be late. Life happens so occasionally it’s fine with proper communication but really you should put in the effort to be on time.
#29
I turned left onto a one way street (where I should've went right), not SO bad until I panicked and then did U-Turn around the median onto yet another one way street... still going the wrong way.
Enter my first (and only) car accident.
Khavrinen 3 years ago
Once coming off the freeway in an unfamiliar part of Seattle, we got to the stop-light at the end of the off-ramp and there was a "One Way" sign that had been knocked askew and was pointing at a weird angle. We weren't sure if it was referring to the cross street we were planning on turning onto, or the street directly opposite us, and there weren't any other cars on the street at the time to give us a clue. When the light changed, my Dad decided to turn left into the closest lane, and only realized he had guessed wrong when we noticed that this was one of those streets that didn't just have a yellow line in the middle to divide the two directions of travel, but an actual curb -- and we were on the wrong side of it. Then, in moving over so he could quickly cross to the right side at the next intersection, he checked his mirror and started laughing -- because four other cars had *followed* us down the wrong lane. Luckily, there was no oncoming traffic at the time.
Irish woman abroad 3 years ago
I once nearly gave my sister a heart attack by starting to turn right down a one-way road, remembering just on time before I completed the turn that the direction had changed the week before, and violently swinging the wheel back so we were still on the main road (not much traffic around). She called me all the names under the sun, and still thinks I can't be trusted, after nearly 30 years driving.
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago (edited)
Is New York the only city with one way streets in the US? In Canada we have lots, I could see this happening anywhere :)
Load More Replies...
Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
I've done this because I got confused because the traffic was different then I'd been in before, and but I was going slow and figured out I could only go straight
Cindy Brick 3 years ago
I hate to say this...but I've done this, too. Fortunately got OFF before the inevitable accident. To my credit, I was in a strange town, late to a wedding.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Yeah, the have signs for that. They usually say "One Way. Do Not Enter".
#30
I drilled into the side of my thigh with a 10mm drill bit while drilling holes through the bottom of one of my girlfriends flower pots.
Edit: This was just a few seconds after it happened before it started bleeding. The bruising is from my skin wrapping around the drill and pulling away from my flesh.
http://i.imgur.com/0FlQCAV.jpg
Happy Blue Panda 3 years ago
It's actually not too bad. I've seen and done worse to myself
Load More Replies...
Alias Delfs 3 years ago
Do you happen to be my father who did the exact same thing except with a cabinet
Bored_Panda 3 years ago
Once I my dad played with my hair while driving a golf cart, so I moved to the other side in the back to play with his....when I was moving back I fell and I can still see the mark half a year later
Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
I'm scared of someone doing this while I'm watching them or helping them or me doing this to my self.
Starhawk Hunt 3 years ago
My ex succeeded in sawing deeply into VERY high on his thigh cutting a tree branch. Almost wasted that vasectomy, he did…..
What do you think ?
Jose Ortiz 3 years ago
On a first date in Atlantic City we're in the Tropicana Casino. She was telling me about this place called the Wild Wild West. So me trying to be cute , i got one of the guys who pushes you in a carriage at the boardwalk to give us a lift. When i said Wild wild west he looked at me funny. He finally agreed and literally was the building next door. Im talking like maybe a 50 foot walk. I felt my face turning really red. Good thing my date had a great sense of humor. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. So cringe man
delightfuldragon 3 years ago
LOL Whoops! He could have gone down the street a bit before turning around. He was not your bro. lmao!
Load More Replies... Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Walked out of a restaurant bathroom and almost bumped right into a woman coming the other way. I stopped and said "oh, sorry!" and then realised I was talking to a mirror...
Jaya 3 years ago
Well, not apologizing would be very impolite towards your reflection.
Load More Replies...
Jason Marin 3 years ago
Drove my mom to the mall years ago. After I shut off the engine, I put the keys in my left hand. We get out, lock the doors, close them and suddenly, I can't find my keys. I use my right hand to search for them. Check my back pockets and front pockets and am about to freak out when I look at my left hand and see I'm still holding them.
Daniel Yamada 3 years ago (edited)
This one turned out to be not so stupid. I was in Air Force basic training and our Training Instructor told us he needed a volunteer for a special project. I raised my hand to volunteer, and the instructor says "Good, I need you to clean out a clogged sewer drain.” Everybody thought that was funny including him. But while doing it, I found a gold ring with three diamonds on it. I turned the ring in to the base police. Nobody claimed the ring, so they gave it back to me the day before I graduated. I later sold it to a jewelry store for a few hundred dollars.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Friday, I was absolutely desperate to finish work (I hated it anyway) and relax, left on the dot, walked 20 min to train station, thankfully a short journey to my stop, walk another 15 min to get home. Only to realise I've was in such a rush to leave the office I've left my handbag, with my house keys AND my train pass (back then there was no automatic barriers so I just walked in) at the office. My boyfriend had a key but a) he was working a late shift 40 miles away and b) my phone was in my handbag. Not only I have to make the whole journey back, had to buy a one-way train ticket just in case but also do the walk of shame back to my desk, at the very back of the office so everyone witnessed my stupidity!
Michelle 3 years ago
Was on the phone with my sister for around 2 hrs. Realized it was getting close to time to leave for work so I started getting ready while we talked. Right as I’m ready to leave to catch my bus I realized I couldn’t find my phone. I started searching everywhere. My sister could hear me shuffling around the house basically destroying it so she asked what was going on. I told her I can’t find my phone. She in turn started naming spots that I’m known for leaving my phone so I was going back and forth between spots she’s suggesting and I’m thinking and not finding it. After about 15 minutes (and missing my bus) my landline rang. I paused the call with my sis to answer that and got off that call quick and picked my cell back up to talk with my sister while I scavenged for my phone with her giving me new suggestions…this continued for about 2 minutes before I burst out laughing hysterically when my sister asked what? Did u find ur phone? Yeah…I’m my hand on that call 🤦🏼♀️
Michelle 3 years ago
Yeah, we both pulled a blonde moment and neither of us thought about that fact that we were both in our cells and not our landlines for that call hahaha
Load More Replies...
Rider 3 years ago (edited)
I worked at a mall and could not find my car late one night. Called my friends, bless them, they drove 25mins to pick my panicky a*s up. They found my car instantly. It was 2 isles over, the lot was empty. I lost my car in an empty parking lot. I will never be allowed to forget this.
Ivo Nieuwburg 3 years ago
Where to start, worst one was rock diving of a 90 foot cliff in Turkey on holiday. Well actually running over the edge and falling cause I can't dive am scared of heights and open water. Great hospital and staff though.
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
Was at a college buddy's apartment one time to help him put up some shelves on the wall. After, he was rearranging some stuff on the floor right under the shelves. I guess forgot the shelves were there, stood up really fast, and was immediately knocked unconscious by the shelf. After the initial shock and making sure he was ok, I proceeded to laugh harder than I ever had in my life. Even thinking about it now, I can't stop laughing. Was the most absurd thing I've ever seen.
Jose Ortiz 3 years ago
On a first date in Atlantic City we're in the Tropicana Casino. She was telling me about this place called the Wild Wild West. So me trying to be cute , i got one of the guys who pushes you in a carriage at the boardwalk to give us a lift. When i said Wild wild west he looked at me funny. He finally agreed and literally was the building next door. Im talking like maybe a 50 foot walk. I felt my face turning really red. Good thing my date had a great sense of humor. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. So cringe man
delightfuldragon 3 years ago
LOL Whoops! He could have gone down the street a bit before turning around. He was not your bro. lmao!
Load More Replies... Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Walked out of a restaurant bathroom and almost bumped right into a woman coming the other way. I stopped and said "oh, sorry!" and then realised I was talking to a mirror...
Jaya 3 years ago
Well, not apologizing would be very impolite towards your reflection.
Load More Replies... Jason Marin 3 years ago
Drove my mom to the mall years ago. After I shut off the engine, I put the keys in my left hand. We get out, lock the doors, close them and suddenly, I can't find my keys. I use my right hand to search for them. Check my back pockets and front pockets and am about to freak out when I look at my left hand and see I'm still holding them.
Daniel Yamada 3 years ago (edited)
This one turned out to be not so stupid. I was in Air Force basic training and our Training Instructor told us he needed a volunteer for a special project. I raised my hand to volunteer, and the instructor says "Good, I need you to clean out a clogged sewer drain.” Everybody thought that was funny including him. But while doing it, I found a gold ring with three diamonds on it. I turned the ring in to the base police. Nobody claimed the ring, so they gave it back to me the day before I graduated. I later sold it to a jewelry store for a few hundred dollars.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Friday, I was absolutely desperate to finish work (I hated it anyway) and relax, left on the dot, walked 20 min to train station, thankfully a short journey to my stop, walk another 15 min to get home. Only to realise I've was in such a rush to leave the office I've left my handbag, with my house keys AND my train pass (back then there was no automatic barriers so I just walked in) at the office. My boyfriend had a key but a) he was working a late shift 40 miles away and b) my phone was in my handbag. Not only I have to make the whole journey back, had to buy a one-way train ticket just in case but also do the walk of shame back to my desk, at the very back of the office so everyone witnessed my stupidity!
Michelle 3 years ago
Was on the phone with my sister for around 2 hrs. Realized it was getting close to time to leave for work so I started getting ready while we talked. Right as I’m ready to leave to catch my bus I realized I couldn’t find my phone. I started searching everywhere. My sister could hear me shuffling around the house basically destroying it so she asked what was going on. I told her I can’t find my phone. She in turn started naming spots that I’m known for leaving my phone so I was going back and forth between spots she’s suggesting and I’m thinking and not finding it. After about 15 minutes (and missing my bus) my landline rang. I paused the call with my sis to answer that and got off that call quick and picked my cell back up to talk with my sister while I scavenged for my phone with her giving me new suggestions…this continued for about 2 minutes before I burst out laughing hysterically when my sister asked what? Did u find ur phone? Yeah…I’m my hand on that call 🤦🏼♀️
Michelle 3 years ago
Yeah, we both pulled a blonde moment and neither of us thought about that fact that we were both in our cells and not our landlines for that call hahaha
Load More Replies... Rider 3 years ago (edited)
I worked at a mall and could not find my car late one night. Called my friends, bless them, they drove 25mins to pick my panicky a*s up. They found my car instantly. It was 2 isles over, the lot was empty. I lost my car in an empty parking lot. I will never be allowed to forget this.
Ivo Nieuwburg 3 years ago
Where to start, worst one was rock diving of a 90 foot cliff in Turkey on holiday. Well actually running over the edge and falling cause I can't dive am scared of heights and open water. Great hospital and staff though.
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
Was at a college buddy's apartment one time to help him put up some shelves on the wall. After, he was rearranging some stuff on the floor right under the shelves. I guess forgot the shelves were there, stood up really fast, and was immediately knocked unconscious by the shelf. After the initial shock and making sure he was ok, I proceeded to laugh harder than I ever had in my life. Even thinking about it now, I can't stop laughing. Was the most absurd thing I've ever seen.
You May Like People Share Things That Exist Only Because People Are Dumb 50 Memes You Might Want To Share As They’re Too Funny To Keep To Yourself 152 Short People Jokes For Quick Comedic Relief
Neilas Šurkus
Gabija Palšytė
Larysa Perih
Related on Bored Panda
