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This Twitter Page Documents Only The Most Savage Yet Also Clever Comebacks, And Here’re 30 Of The Best Ones
Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!
One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.
We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.
I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.
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"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."
According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.
#4
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
The US constitution demands a jury of his peers, for a fair trial. Yet the jury did not consist of 12 white racist cops with a record of killing civilians... sounds unfair.
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Emerald 4 years ago
As a person who lives in Minneapolis and knew George Floyd personally, this is an amazing comeback and needs more upvotes ❤❤
Miriam L 4 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. The past year must have been incredibly challenging and I hope you have some small measure of peace now. We have a long way to go to repair a broken unjust system, but step by step we're getting there.
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Blakkur Sverrir 4 years ago
He choked a man to death on camera, while ignoring his and bystanders pleas for mercy. He should thank the god of his choice that the trial was not "fair"...
Scagsy 4 years ago
Would it be so hard for U.S. cops to just stop killing people for a while? I saw all 8 Police Academy films and nobody ever got killed. If anything, it was a heart-warming experience but obviously the current Police Academy is not nearly as good as the others were. Always the same with sequels.
Watching 4 years ago
Screw all the nasty Trump supporters that keep saying George Floyd deserved it.
Something 4 years ago
He didn't, but it sets a pretty bad precedent if murder is allowed just because people think the victim deserved it.
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Cassie 4 years ago
Derek Chauvin got due process. George Floyd did not get due process. Everybody accused of a crime should get due process.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Because several videos of Derek Chauvin smirking to the camera while killing a man wasn't conclusive evidence. That murderer has a record of violent and racist behavior.
soni w 4 years ago
I feel everyone lost their way in the argument. Whether you're black white Hispanic indian Asian or whatever, what happened here was about POLICE BRUTALITY. The killer was a cop. And the victims of this behaviour are all colours and races, very well documented too. We gotta stop compartmentaling these behaviours as racism and start looking at what it really is - authority with the power of God in thier hands knees and hearts.
TrashPandaSociety 4 years ago (edited)
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Bernardita Valdés 4 years ago
U are free to visit chauvin while he is in prison to show him ur support, or start a ridiculous movement that states that chauvin didnt have a fair trial if u want to receive all kinds of backlash. Also, correct your tweet and instead of “we all know” write “i think” or somethin like that.
Lilith the Demon Panda 4 years ago
not to be prejudiced against dumbass hairstyles but... yeah, you just see the profile pic and instantly know what kind of person Ryan is...
Let’s All Just Try And Be Decent 4 years ago
Ok whoever this Ryan person is who posted that, that is all the trial I need for you to get thrown into jail with him. Thanks.
TrashPandaSociety 4 years ago
Black criminal runs from cops and resists arrest. Cops do their job and shoot a bitch. Woke society: ThAt cOp iS rAcIsT.
The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it.
"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.
#8
Chris Wade 4 years ago
In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.
Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"
#10
Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.
Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.
#13
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.
However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.
#18
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.
Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.
#24
cybermerlin2000 4 years ago
They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19
If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).
However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.
#25
Mark Schilling 4 years ago
Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.
Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.
#30
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.
“It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.
#36
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
You can slam the anti-vaxxers with logic, facts and figures all you want. It's just as useless as telling toddler Trump and his followers that he lost the elections fair and square.
#39
Chris Wade 4 years ago
What?! You cut off the comeback! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l/?context=1
#40
Her Highness, Duke of Qin 4 years ago (edited)
I like all lil nas songs even montero but those shoes bro...who ever gave him the idea?
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What do you think ?
Glowdaddy 4 years ago
I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
Sara Rodrigues 4 years ago
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If I could I would live under water 4 years ago
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
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Axolotl King 4 years ago
Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Axolotl King 4 years ago
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
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the child 4 years ago
Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
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Persp Gold 4 years ago
This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
𝕊𝕒𝕞 (𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪/𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕞) 4 years ago
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg 
Violet Smith 4 years ago
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
Load More Replies... Glowdaddy 4 years ago
I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
Sara Rodrigues 4 years ago
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If I could I would live under water 4 years ago
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
Load More Replies... Axolotl King 4 years ago
Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Axolotl King 4 years ago
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
Load More Replies... the child 4 years ago
Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
Load More Replies... Persp Gold 4 years ago
This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
𝕊𝕒𝕞 (𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪/𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕞) 4 years ago
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg
Violet Smith 4 years ago
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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