“I’m Child-Free By Choice, Can You Please Leave?”: Woman Has Enough Of Neighbors’ Visits
An unexpected visit is not always a pleasant surprise; especially when it becomes a recurrent event.
For this redditor, her neighbor and her daughter repeatedly visiting unannounced was not something she would look forward to. Child-free by choice, the OP tried being friendly with both the single mom and the child, but had to eventually ask them to leave; and though they did, they let the redditor know they were waiting for an apology.
Surprise visits can be stressful to some
Image credits: Image-Source (not the actual photo)
This woman preferred to keep to herself, but her neighbor and her daughter would often visit unannounced
Image credits:Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Klutzy_Hedgehog_1516
Many people seem to be on good terms with their neighbors
Being on good terms with neighbors is always a good idea; living in such close quarters, they can make your life easier at times when there’s an emergency or you need assistance of some sort. However, they can make your life a living hell, too, if things go south, which is all the more reason to try and work on fostering a good relationship.
Statistics show that the majority of people in the US seem to love their neighbor; according to a survey from 2022, as much as 86% of them are friendly with those living around them. Some of the things people love most about their neighbors, according to said survey, are the fact that they’re friendly, respectful, and considerate; they are also trustful and tend to watch out for fellow residents, which is something others appreciate.
Be that as it may, some things neighbors do people don’t appreciate equally as much. The aforementioned survey found that noisy neighbors tend to bother residents the most, followed by those with unruly pets, and those who are nosy or don’t mind their business. Fourth on the list was not respecting neighbors’ boundaries, which is something the OP was planning on discussing with her neighbor, as she prefers to keep to herself rather than being surprised by repeated spontaneous visits.
Image credits:Christian Lue (not the actual photo)
A large share of people carry out an ’emergency tidy-up’ before guests arrive
The OP is far from the only one who finds surprise visits more anxiety-inducing than enjoyable. If you’re anything like her, you probably also feel the need to make yourself presentable before opening the door; and if you’re anything like roughly half of the Brits out there, you, too, carry out an “emergency tidy-up” before someone arrives at your home.
A poll of 2,000 Brits found that for three-in-four of them, it’s important how others view their home. Many of them also didn’t hide the fact that they judge others based on the state of their dwelling, too. One of the main things people notice about the home is the living room, and especially, the smell, as many report appreciating a pleasant smell upon entering. Another thing that tends to leave a good impression for many is a fresh-looking bathroom.
Surprise visits rarely give one enough time to tidy around the living room or make their bathroom sparkly clean. And even if they don’t care for being judged, some people might simply want to enjoy some peace and quiet on their own, which is why netizens didn’t think the OP was being a jerk asking her neighbor to leave. Some, however, did say she could have worded her arguments better.
Image credits:Christelle Hayek (not the actual photo)
The OP replied to some of people’s comments, providing more details
People didn’t think she was being a jerk in the situation
Some believed the way she handled the situation was not great
Some netizens have gone through similar situations themselves
After reading the comments, the woman decided how to move forward
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The initial gift of the plant was nice, but she should have left it at that. What I don't understand, are the commenters saying that her response of "child free by choice" was too harsh. This neighbor had repeatedly showed up, unannounced and uninvited, and pushing to let her child inside. I see it as this woman just setting up clear, firm boundaries, nothing more. It seems society still isn't okay with women being firm about their boundaries...even, at times, when it involves other women.
Agree. Sometimes the only language people understand is 'rude'.
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If OP had said it more sensitivity, the neighbour would have kept pushing. I'm not really up for a visit right now is clear and polite. She argued back. Clearly this is someone who will walk all over anyone who doesn't push back. As OP starts to get to know the other neighbours, I'm sure they will have similar stories.
I think this situation doesn't need an explanation. Setting bounderies because someone is ignoring my hint to leave me alone is the only thing I would have done, children or not.
The initial gift of the plant was nice, but she should have left it at that. What I don't understand, are the commenters saying that her response of "child free by choice" was too harsh. This neighbor had repeatedly showed up, unannounced and uninvited, and pushing to let her child inside. I see it as this woman just setting up clear, firm boundaries, nothing more. It seems society still isn't okay with women being firm about their boundaries...even, at times, when it involves other women.
Agree. Sometimes the only language people understand is 'rude'.
Load More Replies... If OP had said it more sensitivity, the neighbour would have kept pushing. I'm not really up for a visit right now is clear and polite. She argued back. Clearly this is someone who will walk all over anyone who doesn't push back. As OP starts to get to know the other neighbours, I'm sure they will have similar stories.
I think this situation doesn't need an explanation. Setting bounderies because someone is ignoring my hint to leave me alone is the only thing I would have done, children or not.
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