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Let's face it, increasingly more people decide to turn down the prospect of parenthood. As a Pew Research Center study has found, around 44% of Americans who are not already parents say they’re unlikely to have children — ever. But even though they consciously choose to forego having kids and feel comfortable with the decision, childfree people often face pressure from those in their social circle who believe they will definitely change their minds.
"You still have time" is up there with some of the most frustrating remarks people who chose a different life path have to hear. Thankfully, there’s a great way to fight stigma in society — see the positivity in their child-free freedom and be proud of their choice. This is something that hundreds of people expressed across various threads on Reddit, and their stories are nothing but honest.
We at Bored Panda have wrapped up a collection of responses where people open up about how this decision affected their lifestyles. Some explain their overwhelming joy and happiness, while others reveal slight doubts and regrets. So sit back, relax, and enjoy reading through their experiences. Be sure to upvote your favorite answers and if you want to weigh in on the topic, we’d love to hear your thoughts right below in the comments!
Psst! If you’re interested in even more childfree content, take a look at our earlier piece where people reveal what made them decide to never have kids.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I’ve recently started dating again, and the amount of men my age (35) with kids is disheartening. I started talking to one guy, and he mentioned having kids, so I told him we weren’t compatible. He told me I was being negative, asking how I knew we weren’t compatible, etc. Well, cause you have kids and I don’t, I don’t want any. I had another guy tell me he had a 22-month-old. He has not mentioned anywhere in his profile about having kids, and then when I tell him it’s a no for me, he resorts to insults. I’m honestly happy with my life and where I am, and I refuse to settle for anyone who wouldn’t add to my life. I’m complete. If I die alone with my cats, that’s better than settling for a miserable life
M O'Connell 3 years ago
I completely understand this. I came to the decision that I don't want to be responsible for bringing a life into the world a long time ago.
Lada Angelova 3 years ago
Glad to read these posts. I am 72 married just celebrated 42 year anniversary.. both my husband and I never wanted kids... we are happy and would never trade our life.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
I'm a guy approaching my late 40s. It's a challenge finding someone without kids in my age range. The kids are usually at least adults at that point though.
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
This is one of the reasons I gave up on dating. People get so cranky when you say you're not interested because you don't want any kids in your life.
cathy hurd 3 years ago
There's nothing wrong with not wanting children. They're not everyone's cup of tea. What's wrong is people pushing kids on you or asking why you don't want kids. I can't think of anything that's less someone else's business.
Shannon Veillon 3 years ago
I get this, just put it in your profile that kids is a deal breaker.
Aubrie Allen 3 years ago
I've been dating a guy with kids for 6 years. Although I am nice to them, I really don't have anything to do with them. I said if they were going to be in my house, they would have to live with my rules (just cleaning up after themselves, some chores...) and my dude and his ex wife said no, so I just have nothing to do with them. Seems to work for us. I never wanted kids.
RELATED:
#2
When my current manager found out I don’t want kids his response was “well you’re young and still have time to change your mind”. When I told him my husband and I want to retire early he said “but why would you retire early if you don’t have kids? What would you even do..?”
SMH these people are so brainwashed. There’s more to life than going to a job everyday then taking care of kids for the other part.
Adeline Bennett 3 years ago
Lol he should ask people who HAVE kids what they'd do if they didn't have kids and could retire early. I know plenty who could come up with answers right away.
Nathan Wolfe 3 years ago
I have a kid and am on track to retire early. What I'll be doing? Traveling, getting my motorcycle license, writing, reading, gaming, etc. I have ADHD, so pretty much whatever catches my fancy at any given moment. But at that point, I'll be doing it completely guilt free.
Load More Replies... Natasha 3 years ago (edited)
Why ? Uh, so you can have fun exploring life before your bodies can't do it anymore. I say this as a parent of 2 children M19/F18. You chose the life style you want rather than be dictated by what others say you should do. Children are awesome and I wouldn't change my decision to have them but I also recognised the impact having children would have on my life. This was my choice and I knew I would never be able to retire early. This is not everyone's choice. Good on you for recognising what you want. Have great fun in your life based on a good decision for you 😊
Craig Reynolds 8 months ago
Huh? Why would I retire early if I don't have kids? Umm, because not having them means I can afford to...
Isaac Harvey 3 years ago
I might change as I grow older, but the odds are that my brain tumor will also change in at least some ways, and likely not for the better.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
I wouldn't refer to anyone with a different view on life as "brainwashed", tho'. I guess being happy with how your life turned out does not give you the right to look down on other people's choices. I mean, does it always have to be about proving that certain lifestyle is better that the other? Whatever side you're on, stay happy and let others be happy with choices they made :)
Ursula Johnson 3 years ago
Women are expected from youth to get married and have kids. Few parents or people will understand or accept the fact that a woman doesn't want kids. It happens to some men, but most often women. Many family members and coworkers will ask people when are you going to have kids. We have thousands of members in our Facebook groups telling horror stories about how family, friends and others trying to force them into having kids.
Load More Replies... #3
I am 47 and life is great. Was married once (very young) and engaged once, but never had kids. Started my own business a decade ago and that's gone great. It's currently providing me income while I work on a start-up with a partner. I travel a lot (when there's not a pandemic), have tons of hobbies, and have built up a wonderful chosen family for company and support.
I have no regrets and no complaints. I get plenty of sleep and take good care of myself. I volunteer and give back to the community however and whenever I can. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Adam Heath 3 years ago
Well..as a parent...all I can say is FU!!! Lol..but seriously when are you going to have a kid? Your biological clock must be making you deaf by now.../endthelittleicared
#4
My son decided to get a vasectomy last year. I told him: "Won't you regret it later?" He replied: "I can always adopt, just like you adopted me."
Bored puppy dog 3 years ago
It's his regret to come to terms with. I wish people wouldn't suggest how we might feel. We know. We've thought about this
Isabella Ramos 3 years ago
What a beautiful story, I think the comments have lost sight of the main topic here…
Adam Heath 3 years ago
But adopting dosnt make u a real parent!!! Said no one ever. My daughter was a happy accident and wouldn't change anything. But I have nothing but the most respect for anyone who is willing to even think about adopting. And the second you CHOOSE to raise a child..means that you are already that kids parent
Claudette Shaw 3 years ago
Most vasectomies are reversible plus they are the absolute best form of birth control added bonus they also prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortions.
Gabriel Sbárbaro 3 years ago
When I got my vasectomy the doctor told me that, yes, in theory it is reversible, but the success rate of that surgery is so low that if I really wanted a vasectomy I had to do it thinking that it was not... so, no... not "most" vasectomies are reversible... actually, just a very tiny amount are...
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Gabriel Sbárbaro 3 years ago
When I got my vasectomy the doctor told me that, yes, in theory it is reversible, but the success rate of that surgery is so low that if I really wanted a vasectomy I had to do it thinking that it was not... so, no... not "most" vasectomies are reversible... actually, just a very tiny amount are...
Load More Replies... #5
1. My body already is pretty screwed up, I don't need it MORE screwed up
2. A lot of folks seem to hate their children. Like, A LOT of people seem to hate their children. Or at least mildly resent them. I don't want to do that.
3. I am an 'all in' type of person. A 'anything worth doing is worth over doing' type of person. I'd probably be a great parent because of this--all in for my kids. But it also means I'd be a terrible ME. I'd lose being an individual in the process, and that's not good for me OR any mythical children.
4. I really, really, really like quiet.
Mattewis88 3 years ago
No 4. is my main reason. I don't even listen to music in general, any sound Im not focusing on makes my brain feel itchy (I don't know how else to explain it).
ailee 3 years ago
sensory issues? i have misophonia and cant stand the noises kids make.
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Featherytoad 3 years ago
Number 4. I mute the T.V. if there's a kid crying and screaming. I just can't stand it.
Kay Phillips 3 years ago
I was an accident. When I was around 15 something happened - no idea what - but to me it seemed like my mother got tired of having a child. From then on it was ALWAYS arguing, I wasn't studying enough, my grades weren't good enough (I got accepted to two best universities in the country so couldn't have been that bad), my clothes were wrong, my friends were wrong, everything was wrong. So I moved 8000km away. I pretty much never see my parents, and honestly? With my depression I would much rather have been aborted. Would be better for all of us.
LaTasha Strahan 1 year ago
doll, maybe they SHOULDN'T have had children. Maybe they shouldn't have been YOUR parents. But I'M glad you're here just from having read this. I hope you're well.
Load More Replies... Adam Heath 3 years ago
Ahh..number 4....seriously if you're on the fence about having kids...think about how much you love yourself some silence..then have a look at some Walmart screaming kids videos..then think...
Nathan Wolfe 3 years ago
I enjoy quiet, but it also makes me severely uncomfortable. Adhd makes it so I need a near constant stream of stimuli. If I don't have that, my mind races a million miles an hour. Seriously 4-5 trains of thought. 2 are at the station, 2 are ahead of schedule, and 1 is derailed.
#6
Cringe answer but i don’t wanna bring someone into this world and force them to deal with problems just cause I wanted pride of having a child
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
This. I can imagine worlds I would have wanted to bring a kid into. This isn't one of them.
Dick Fletes 3 years ago
Not cringe at all. Never understood why so many people straight out of high school felt like the only thing in life was to get married and have too many kids they could hardly take care of
Alicia Reenan 3 years ago
People have told me that I'm selfish for not having children. I think having children can be very selfish especially for the parents that really don't want to raise their own kids.
SCP-3998 3 years ago
Having children is wildly selfish; you're making a copy of yourself. You're raising it based on your personal view of what a human should be, and influencing them based on YOUR views/tastes/likes and dislikes. If that's not a prime exercise in narcissism I dunno what is. I'll probably get downvoted for my personal view on the matter, but 🤷♀️ it's all boredpanda ppl do it seems; downvote comments they dont agree with. Not comments that are actually harmful. Explains banned books too.
Load More Replies... EJG 3 years ago
I guess this depends on how you see the world. I come from a happy family of 4 kids and growing up I wanted the same. 4 kids later, I pray that they grow up as happy as I have. My wife is the same. I know it's not always common for 2 overly happy people to come together - but we did. So I'm exactly the opposite than the post. I would love my kids to have the chance to go through my experiences (even the bad ones).
Jo L. 3 years ago
I recall reading an article framing having children as an "act of radical hope." I like that. I do believe that I can give my children a life at least as good as my own and that their world may be harder to live in (that's a may, not a certainty) but I know it won't be unlivable - at least the part of the planet where we live - and our country is also politically and economically stable. If I'm gonna have kids, this time and place isn't so bad. If I lived somewhere currently being ravaged by climate change or war, however, that would obviously change the arithmetic. But the world's problems that don't directly affect me now probably don't need to factor into the decision when they have a low probability of ever directly affecting my descendants either.
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#7
I overheard my sister-in-law telling my brother-in-law that we should write everything in our will to them because “We need it; they don’t have kids (on both sides). What do they need it for?” They’re trying to get my father-in-law to facilitate the conversation. If they think you’re entitled to my money, don’t be shy. Tell me to my face! The joke is on her because my side of the money is locked up in a prenup. Our will, as it stands now, a nice sum is set aside for education, down payment, etc., for my nieces. Most of it is being distributed to charities. Planned Parenthood is on the list! The audacity and entitlement make my head spin! Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean it automatically goes to them.
Gabriel Sbárbaro 3 years ago
The most entitled people I ever met are parents... they think the world owes them something just because they have a crotch goblin... someone PLEASE tell me what's so wonderful about doing something literally EVERY species on the planet can do...
ItsJess 3 years ago
My husband and I worry about this; we both work in fields that pay well and have other sources of future income. We know that we're really fortunate and we've worked hard for what we have, and we don't have kids. We worry that family members feel entitled to whatever we leave behind. Jokes on them; it's all going to charities.
Craig Reynolds 8 months ago
I'm an unfiltered kind of person. As soon as I overheard that conversation, they would be getting an earful of what I thought about their absurd entitlement, as well as how and why they won't be getting anything.
#8
Love my life. Wouldn’t trade it with anyone. I’m 70 with no children, never married, and no regrets. Several long term relationships (11 yr. & 17 year ... still friends). Loved my never relinquishing my personal freedom. Several things informed my decision:
Watching the relationships of parents and children, where children became a**holes. 2. Watching marriages that were okay go bad or boring 3. Watching people lose themselves in stressful marriages. 4. My inability to take shit and pretend that it’s not happening. 5. Not enjoying the feeling of having to negotiate everything from social events to meal choices. 6. Unwillingness to relinquish personal freedom
ethan kraner 3 years ago
honestly she's right, i AM a child, and i know that chlidren my age are assholes
Nathan Wolfe 3 years ago
Can be*. Its no more accurate to say all children are assholes than it would be to say that cartoons are for children. Sure, it may seem that way on the surface, but there are enough exceptions that the statement is downright false.
Load More Replies... Claudette Shaw 3 years ago (edited)
Many of the same reasons my younger sister has for not being married and having no children. She is Ok with older kids . She and I volunteered as rugby coaches for high school kids . But little kids are not her thing. But as friends also found out my sister is not a good travel partner. She does not like compromising her wants with others.
Kyl Glan 3 years ago (edited)
Is she wants kids but doesn't want the stress of young kids has she thought of adopting . This is purely hypothetical. I'm not saying she wants kids.
Load More Replies... Laura Bradshaw 8 months ago
Most of the time the child is a a hole because the parents are... some of the time the kids just grow into one but so so much of the time is Learning it from their parents
Mick Perger 1 year ago
Totally agree, I`m 66, I do what I want when I want. I tried relationships. It was good to be in love ,but I eventually realized it was one sided, so I bailed out. That was 16 years ago. Never been happier.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
I always wanted children, and the three I had I raised to be good citizens, so I'm proud of them. But it wasn't easy, because I was, as the OP put it "lost in a stressful marriage." If I had been smart, I would have left him after his first affair, when I was pregnant with my third child. But I was stupid and forgave him, only for him to leave after 41 years of marriage for a younger and richer model, leaving me with almost nothing. In many ways, If I'd booted him after his first affair, I would have been happily single and still had my 3 kids. Even my kids wish I had gotten rid of him then. LOL! I'm now 72 and am totally content with my life. I live happily with one of my daughters, who also didn't marry and doesn't want kids, so we have a good life. I don't interfere with hers and she doesn't interfere with mine.
#9
I had an experience that annoyed me apartment hunting last year. The lady showing my boyfriend and I the apartment kept prying why we would need a second bedroom, and saying things like if it’s just the two of us why isn’t a 1 bedroom enough. Even after explaining we both worked from home, she kept trying to push the smaller units. I guess the building has less 2 bedrooms so they like to keep them open for people with kids? As crazy as it sounds, people without kids also like space.
The Crushinator 3 years ago
In the part of the Netherlands where I live, the social housing situation has gotten so bad that me and my SO can't even rent a house with more than 2 rooms because we don't have kids. It's understandable, but infuriating at the same time.
Ursula Johnson 3 years ago
That should be illegal. Treating you like second class citizens.
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Bonni Poch 3 years ago
My husband and I live in a 4 bedroom house and it's just the 2 of us. I can't imagine us living in anything smaller. We love each other (our 24th wedding anniversary is next week), but also love/need our space.
cathy hurd 3 years ago
Even if it's not for working from home, a guest room? As long as you can afford it what business is it of hers?
LittleMissPanda 3 years ago
I'd say we're expecting. It's none of their business but would shut them up and give me peace
Alicia Reenan 3 years ago
They don't know what you're expecting. Dinner, a package, a call from mom ? Not your fault if they take it to mean you're pregnant. 😆🤪
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Lori Bryan 3 years ago
I live in 3600 s.f. with my husband and dog. Downsize, no way love my space
Jo L. 3 years ago
There's an old vacant office tower that was going to be a hotel in the downtown core of my city, but COVID made the developer decide to go in another direction and make it into an apartment building. That's great in itself because we already have a lack of apartments due to so many being turned into condos, but they are also planning on having a bunch of 3-bedroom apartments available. That's huge. It breaks my heart when couples who want kids can't have them for financial reasons, and being able to rent a 3-bedroom apartment would really help out a lot of young families.
#10
Coming up in a year since my husband and I bought our first house! 4 beds, 2.5 baths. I absolutely love it. We consider ourselves very lucky and grateful. Since then, when the topic comes up in casual conversation, I get the same response from breeders. It doesn’t help we’re the only child-free couple on the street. “Oh, so much space, making room for kids?” “That’s a lot of space for just the two of you.” “What about families with children that needed that home?” I’m sorry, I wanted space for separate offices and a space for visitors. Oh, the reactions I get when I say I turned the den into a cat room. “A whole room just for your cats!?” “Must be nice to live that way” Yes. Yes, it is. It would also be nice to share accomplishments without judgment.
Bonni Poch 3 years ago
I cannot believe how many comments on here talk about giving up larger accommodations for larger families. WTF? If you have enough money to purchase a home, who cares how many people live in it? Maybe each of my 3 dogs gets their own bedroom because really, they're like my kids. No one's business by my own (and my husband's).
Kristy P 3 years ago
My husband and I are childless by choice and bought a 4 bedroom home 2 years ago. One bedroom is for the dog. He has to be crated & it's much nicer to have a whole room to roam and stretch and do whatever he wants. It's also the guest bedroom. One bedroom is the bedroom, one is my office/craft space and one is my husband's music/craft space. Perfect :-)
Honu 3 years ago
At least here in the US, I think most people who would make the comment, “What about families with children that needed that home?” probably wouldn't support any sort of subsidy program to help those families purchase that home. If they want a 4 bedroom house and can afford it, they can buy one. Our housing markets aren't so impacted that there aren't enough large houses. It's the low-income housing that is in short supply. Are they suggesting that I should move to a smaller place and pay for a family with kids to have the big house?
Elio 3 years ago
For real. I'm sure if OP got a cheaper house or apartment there would still be the "but a family needs that!!1" people. The moral of the story is buy what you want.
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Thresia Paquet 3 years ago
I told a client my daughter had decided to remain child free. He claimed she was selfish. Why is that selfish? If anything, it's the absolute opposite. When people who don't want children have them for whatever reason, that child suffers. I know this for a fact.
Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
I live alone in a 4-bedroom house. People sometimes ask me what I need all that space for. Well, my own bedroom (with bright white fluffy carpet and a chandelier), my sewing room, my walk-in closet slash guest bedroom, and the attic for … stuff. I can afford a nice house on a teacher’s salary exactly because I don’t have kids. Love the space, and it being so quiet I can hear my grandma’s antique carriage clock ticking.
Bored puppy dog 3 years ago
What a wonderful world it would be to share accomplishments without judgment! Let's work towards that!
#11
I was getting to know a (female) doctor my partner used to work with. She asked about my dream job and I responded that I don’t dream of labor; my dream is to be financially secure enough that I can retire ASAP.
“Retired? Do you mean at home with babies?”
“…Um no. Retired meaning I have enough savings to not have to work anymore while living comfortably.”
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I've literally never heard anybody say, "I don't dream of labor" before, and this hit me hard. I come from a family where it was always "Idle hands make the devil's work," etc. I'm starting to see I'm a little brainwashed.
Elizabeth Schroeder 3 years ago
You can be busy with hobbies, travel and other things-it does not have to be”work” that keeps your hands busy
Load More Replies... Claudette Shaw 3 years ago
My husband and I retired fairly early and became Expats. He 52 me 57. A lot of people asked us " Well what will you do if you're not working?" Or "What about the kids?" . Answer, " As little as possible." and " They are adults , time for them to learn to be fully independent." Our children had some bumps but have actually done extremely well for themselves in the last seven years. My husband and I enjoy our lazy days, do a little volunteer work. Our job is managing our online investment accounts! :)
LaTasha Strahan 1 year ago (edited)
Good for you! I wanna be like you when I grow up!😄
Load More Replies... EJG 3 years ago
I used to do government work. One of those places where you have 20 year olds working alongside 70 year olds. A horrible thing I realized is that most of the people who retired died after a couple of years. Unless they came back as volunteers, or started another occupation. Humans are very bad at living without a structures routine and defined goals. My dad, after going into retirement, started sitting at home on the computer all day and forgot to eat or exercise and swiftly declined. Long story short - it's great to be able to retire early - but retire to be able to work on something you love. Does that make sense?
Laura Bradshaw 8 months ago (edited)
Urrrgh always with the at home with babies women are there to be incubator factories
#12
Glorious!
Vacations are a breeze, particularly if you go to another country. If I find a place, I can just up and move without worrying about if the school is any good, or how big the house is.
Hello 3 years ago
If you have a kid who goes to school and you decide to move your moving that kid away from his friends and everything else at that school, but if you dent you can move litterly anywhere
Kay Phillips 3 years ago
You can go anywhere, moving anywhere is not really possible.
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#13
I'm 48 never wanted kids, no regrets. The majority of the parents I know are stressed AF! My best friend has 4 adult kids and they all cause her grief. She is on her way to a mental breakdown.
The happiest married couples that I know, besides me and my spouse, is a retired couple no kids. They go on dates several times a week, travel and just love each other so much.
Having kids isn't a guarantee that they will take care of you when you get old. My mother works in a nursing home. Most of them are abandoned by their kids and only visit on Mother's Day for Facebook photos.
Kay Phillips 3 years ago
While I mostly agree, in some countries that's the only way to go. China for example has a horrible pension system and it's the children who take care of older members of the family. It is selfish, yes; but it's also self preservation.
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Diana Pahule 3 years ago
The only person who ever nagged me about having kids used that lame excuse, "who will take care of you when you're old?" That's not what kids are for.
Elio 3 years ago
Sometimes the kids can't take care of you when you're old due to extensive medical issues. My brother lived with our mother for a few years but she got worse and worse and now she lives at an assisted living facility where they can care for her. The stress caused my brother to have a mental breakdown and start abusing opiates.
Rayne Saltair 3 years ago
My Father threatened to make me homeless and send my cats to the pound. He did just that in Feb. after I spent YEARS being his care giver, driving him everywhere, going into stores so he didn't have to etc. I had planned on continuing being his care giver until he left this world. Now, NOPE he is on his own and I have plans of moving to my dream destination, something that I couldn't do if I had had kids, because I'd have to stay in this country and close to them.
Nicky Hands 3 years ago
And your skin is beautiful!!! Stress from kids takes it’s toll on the skin!! I have 3 delicious monsters 16, 18, 20 & I look my 47 years 😂🤣😂🤣
Mark Ward 3 years ago
My wife and I are both 57, empty nester with 5 amazing adult children between the two of us. (second marriages) I'm retired, she is adout to. It sounds like your focus is on your friends life having raised children poorly, now suffering from the consequences. Raising children is hard, and rewarding at the same time. We love being empty nesters too.
#14
I am 38, my wife is 42. Our marriage is fantastic and our jobs are stressful, but lucrative. We worry and stress about normal things just like others, but just not about kids, obviously.
Like any major life decision, there are pangs of regret -seeing my friends enjoy ballgames and major milestones with their children that I know it won't experience with my own, but I know I am also sidestepping the negatives as well.
In the end, my wife and I chose each other and are endlessly happy. Could a child have improved that bliss? Possibly - but we collectively were not 100% all-in and didn't want to risk our happiness together to find out.
Crystal Kempher 3 years ago
I feel like people only find this post 'honest' if they think that CF people secretly regret not having kids, when they mostly just... don't.
Load More Replies... cathy hurd 3 years ago
It must be awful to have a child you're not 100% sure you want then regretting the decision. I know from experience that it's terrible for the child(ren). My mother had 4 she really didn't want and never let us forget it. My sister had 3 and abandoned them. I always wanted kids and never regretted it.
ItsJess 3 years ago
This is why we didn't have children (among other reasons). We felt like it's the most significant thing a human being can do, and something that you should only be "all in" about. Nobody should have kids who only sort-of wants them.
Load More Replies... Gabriel Sbárbaro 3 years ago
It would be foolish to think that there's no silver linings to parenthood... but, for me, the downs are so overwhelmingly more than the ups that there's really no question about it...
Gozer LeGozerian 3 years ago
Studies says it would definitely NOT contribute to your happiness
Coolwhip 3 years ago
This is the best post on here, you aren't bashing ppl with kids nor are ppl bashing you for not having kids. It's great to know that you see the downside along with the upside.
BlueCat 3 years ago
Meh, not everyone sees a downside to not having kids. I know a lot of CF folks who are just genuinely perplexed when someone asks 'Well, what about *insert thing they find positive about having kids here*?! Don't you want that?'
Load More Replies... #15
I’m a 46 year old auntie to a wonderful little boy and I’m fine with that.
My husband and I didn’t each hit 6 figures until about 4 years ago, so we’re not really swimming in money yet (we live in NYC). I love sleeping in. I love finishing dinner and then playing video games. I love going for long walks. I love peace and quiet. I love all my disposable income. My brother and his wife ask all the time when we’re going to visit so they can just toss my nephew at us for a week so they can go on vacation and you know, that just makes me extra happy I didn’t go that route.
Eric G 3 years ago
Same here. 46 and no regrets. I wanted kids when I was younger but eventually I got to an age where I didn't want to deal with younger parents at ptas, sporting events etc. I love my free time, freedom to travel, and not having to clean the house every single goddamn day because they make a mess. My ex sister-in-law had great kids but my God the amount of work and time they spent cleaning up after their kids was just exhausting for me . I've been to St. Croix and Iceland so far this year and going to London next month and hopefully Tokyo next year (if they open up). Don't have to worry about paying for an extra ticket, altering my plans because I have a kid Etc
Raphael Biock 3 years ago
Same here, too. Best decission of my life. Have enough to do with my own stuff.
#16
I've never had any desire to be a mother. I don't want to give up my freedom and spare time. I can't afford it. I don't want to grow a human inside my body. I have [bad] mental health problems that I would probably pass on to them.
#17
30 F, besides every other answer already provided here… I am legitimately terrified of the idea of pregnancy and giving birth. Even if I felt the burning desire to mother a child, (which I do not) I could never get past the fact I would have to grow it, and “have” it.
Thomas Ewing 3 years ago
No one seems to be mentioning the world has about 5 billion excess humans on it that are overburdening the planet's ability to restore itself. Don't have kids.
SirWriteALot 3 years ago
My wife was the same. Planned c-section and epidural was a must for her.
June 3 years ago
And how did she manage the "grow it" phase, if it's the "same"? And what about the "don't feel the desire to mother a child"?
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#18
Retiring to me means never working for anyone but myself.
Thanks to the stars aligning with my childfreedom, the real estate boom, and a deep seated drive to be both lazy and selfish I'm about to live my dream - moving across the country, renting out an ADU for passive income, and freelancing when I feel like it.
Of course, there are no guarantees this will last forever, but at 35 it's the closest thing to retirement I've ever experienced. So excited.
#19
Me 46M and wife 46F.
In a word, amazing.
We both work in Finance and our household gross income is about $200k with about $48k/yr in expenses (and half of that is discretionary...bare bones expenses are about $24k/yr)
Debt free except for the house, which will be completely paid off by this time next year.
Pretty much buy whatever we want, when we want it.
Go where ever we want, when we want to.
Our jobs are ultra-stable and we have both been with the company for 10 years and get 1.5 months of paid leave, plus 10 paid holidays per year (almost unheard of in non-union jobs in the US).
We live next door to my wife's parents and they are awesome people that treat me like the son they never had.
About the only thing we really need to fix, is we both put on too much weight during covid and need to get that shit under control this summer...so...salad & hiking summer it is.
Luckily, we live in the paradise of our choosing, Alaska, and there is truly epic hiking up here.
Pam 3 years ago
I’m reading comments about who is going to take care of you when you’re old? Having children is NOT a guarantee that they are going to take care of you when you age. They have lives of their own or may not be in a position to care for you. Life has so many twists and turns and sometimes doesn’t follow our dreams or ideals in terms of the future.
Liam Walsh 3 years ago
Completely agree. Sometimes children are disabled and won't be able to take care of you, sometimes you just don't get on, sometimes they have a lot of children themselves and can't help - there are so many variables that it would take forever to list them. Also, would not want to do that to my offspring. Friend of mine took care of her mother in old age and dementia. There were times when she came close to ending her life because of how awful it was. People underestimate so many things, their ability to cope can be just one of them. Those without children probably are able to save for quality care provided by professionals in later life as well.
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#20
Boyfriend and I are both 45 and life is pretty cool. We met when we were 39 and on our second date I had to ask the dreaded kid question. Thank god his response was a vehement no. It’s crazy to think people don’t ask that question right away and have terrible break ups over it. I figured I didn’t want to waste a minute with him if he wanted kids!
Thatkamloopsguy 3 years ago
Smart move. When I first met my wife she asked that question early on as well.
Jude Laskowski 3 years ago
When I was younger and dated a lot, I always asked that question. I hated it when the guy would say he didn't want kids either, then later on would ask me if I really meant it. I started dating guys who were divorced with older kids and had vasectomies.
Lobelia Barker 8 months ago
Sometimes the question doesn’t help though 😞 I told my boyfriend over and over when we first met that there would be no kids, and if he wanted kids it was a no for this relationship . I even got sterilised. He was ok with it. But 5 years in, when we have built up a life and love together he changed his mind and wants kids. So the past 2 years I have struggled with anxiety trying to figure out how to keep the relationship without taking that (new) dream away from him. Maybe part time foster home. I don’t know
Rens 3 years ago
Sometimes you get to an age where you don't want to waste your time or anyone else's on a relationship where there is a major incompatibility. When I was looking at online dating, I didn't want to waste my time (or his time) with someone who didn't share my interests, believes or attitudes.
Load More Replies... #21
Love it.
Can't even imagine having children. I'm not built for it.
Great with other people's kids (in short bursts) but ultimately very glad to be able to walk away from that cacophony of neediness.
I sleep as much as I want (as well as game/work/etc) eat whatever I want go where I want (or more importantly don't go where I don't want).
One of the few decisions that made very young (before I was a teenager for sure) that I've not wavered on and has paid off dividends.
Elio 3 years ago
Omg I took in my mom's cat and that describes him perfectly. At least I don't have to pay for him to go to college.
Load More Replies... Featherytoad 3 years ago
Same, I knew from a very young age that I never wanted kids and I've never regretted it.
Christine Jordan 3 years ago
I'm the same. I love kids, as long as they're someone else's and I can give them back.
#22
I was told at an old job that I’d be such a great mom because I was so patient and kind to coworkers, especially the new ones who had A LOT of questions. The difference is I can get away from my coworkers, but kids are a different story! My mom said I would be a fantastic mom— IF I wanted to be one, because ultimately, I wouldn’t be if my heart wasn’t in it. My mom gets it, and I appreciate her so much for it.
Kristy P 3 years ago
My mom is more than a little sad about it as I'm her only child. My biggest regret is not giving her a grandchild, but we both agree that's not a reason to bring a child into this world.
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
I got the same thing all my life - "you're so great with kids, you'll be such a good mummy." It's a correct observation, but I still don't want any children.
#23
I love children. I love holding them, I love playing with them and I love talking with them. Very neat group of people. Totally recommend them to anyone who thinks having a child is right for them. What I do not like is being responsible over another human being 24/7. I also don't like the thought of having to leave work to pick up a sick child from school or nursery school. I don't like potty training, I don't want to be unable to travel without a massive amount of planning, I don't want to fight with a 13 year old over... anything really, 13 year olds do not listen to reason. I don't want to get up at 7 AM on a Sunday to take my child to their football training, I don't want to spend all my money on somebody else's damn shoes that they will have grown out of the week after anyways. Basically, a child is not compatible with the lifestyle I want.
S Wu 3 years ago
My twin sister had a bad accident when she was 21. I decided taking care of her was the most important thing I could do. It took her 17 years to recover. 20 years after her recovery we both have great jobs, great people in our life and we love to travel. I have never been happier.
Akash Hiwarale 3 years ago
Ma'am,you are a good person and have my respect
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Steven Curd 1 year ago
Counterpoint to the "responsible over another human being 24/7". I am so happy with the adults my wife and I raised, they are contributing to the good in our world, and as a point of pride, both followed me into Nursing as a career. Now in our 50's, we travel internationally, have satisfying and rewarding careers, a beautiful home and 10 nephews and neices who add to the richness of our lives. (Just so you know it's not all doom and gloom) My Brother in law doesn't have kids of his own, but also has a rich and varied life that he shares with us all.
#24
I never wanted to have children. My relatives and acquaintances would tell me: "When you grow up you will change your mind. Children are a blessing in life," or stuff like that. I always replied that I didn't see myself as a mother. 15 years have gone by and nothing has changed.
LoudMansLover 3 years ago (edited)
I was told this all my life. I was denied by doctors when I asked about surgical sterilization because "I'd change my mind" someday. Well, guess what! 46 years old, perimenopause kickin' in and zero regrets from me or the hubby!
Elio 3 years ago
There is a great resource for sterilization procedures on the childfree reddit forum (click on the about tab). It's more difficult for women but there are doctors who will perform the procedure on younger women who don't want kids.
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Amanda Louise 3 years ago
I was told "when I grow up I will change my mind. I suppose 48 is a grown up. Didn't happen. Don't regret it.
Featherytoad 3 years ago (edited)
How are children a blessing when they stress you out, f**k up your body forever, drain you financially, deprive you of sleep and take up all of your time?
Marmie Kyat 3 years ago
There are positives to it, I swear. But yes, it comes with some serious sacrifices. I was always ambivalent about having kids, more partial to adoption if I did. I reconsidered a lot when I met my current husband. One tiny human later, I have no regrets. But I Fully respect those who opt out. I feel like they are more understanding of the responsibility of being a parent and recognizing that's not what they want for themselves. Which is a great thing. Knowing what you want out of life is awesome.
Load More Replies... MoodyBlue 3 years ago (edited)
Over 40 here and it still has not changed. Now it would be too late, though but my guess would be it will not change. I love my personal space, sleep, peace and quiet too much.
tl gmc 3 years ago
If someone older did want one, they could always adopt or foster. There's so many kids without homes it shouldn't be a problem. I can't see even adopting one, but I don't get how people use the "you'll regret it later" saying when there's other options
Load More Replies... Ursula Johnson 3 years ago
It won't. Wear your Childfree status proudly and enjoy upsetting them!
#25
I decided when I was 18 and I agree with it. People will tell me: "Who is going to take care of you when you are old?" followed by this little gem: "You have to start your own family," as if my boyfriend and my dogs don't count.
LoudMansLover 3 years ago (edited)
I hate when people say that (the taking care of you bit), then turn around and say people who don't want kids are the selfish ones. Excuse me? Did you just hear yourself? Selfishness of that statement aside: kids are a blind bag - you don't know what you're getting. You could have kids that grow up to not like you, or have issues that require *you* to take care of *them* all *your* lives!
Elio 3 years ago
I like how they straight up admit to wanting kids for a selfish reason, having a free caregiver when old, then call people who don't want kids selfish.
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Gabriel Sbárbaro 3 years ago
"Who is going to take care of you when you are old?" Ask that to the countless elderly people in nursing homes who are never even visited by their children...
Lara Kristelle 3 years ago
Are kids really just brought in this world just so you have someone to take care of you when you’re old? I can check myself in a nursing home if need be.
Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
My grandmother had 12 kids and due to the kids moving away, passing away or being disabled literally none of them was able to care for her in her final years. My mother (who lived half a world away) arranged for her to go to a good home, but my gran is the example that having kids just to have carers doesn’t always work out.
Jack and Coke 3 years ago
"Who is going to take care of you when you are old?" Is such a BS statement. Just because you raise your kids properly doesn't mean they should/could/would take care of you. Plan ahead and take care of yourself.
Btsquestrian 3 years ago
Tell all those people that Long-Term Care insurance is a thing, at least it is here in the USA, and it is fairly reasonably priced if you are fortunate enough to be able to get it subsidized as an employee benefit. I'm 48F and have never, ever wanted to be a parent. I work at a hospital. There is no guarantee that a child will outlive a parent, much less be able to provide for an elderly parent.
Honu 3 years ago (edited)
Yes. And sometimes the care really is too much to expect your adult child to do in their home. I've experienced a few rounds of elder care. One was hospice care and the person passed, the others eventually went to care facilities. It got to the point where they needed full time care that outstripped my ability, aside from the tremendous emotional strain. I can't provide 24 hour attendance. I have to work and sleep. I can't lift an adult person on my own. We don't know what kind of care we're going to need when we get older. Some of us will die suddenly, or after a shorter-term illness. Some of us will live for years and years requiring constant supervision, help with daily tasks, and possibly even basic mobility. The only way I could've provided that in my home is by quitting my job and hiring someone to help me. That is a lot to expect of your child.
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Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 3 years ago
Someone who's paid job it is will professionally take care of me, thank God
Judi Dietz 1 year ago
Yes I am selfish and so is my husband of 51+ years. I knew since forever I would never have kids. NO desire to have anyone around but Joe. He feels the same way. One of the first things we ever talked about. Joe is gone now and I am 74. I have friends to talk to and play with. Why would anyone want to bring another person into a world like this??? People are 80% just rude and mean. I dont understand it so how would you explain this to a kid?? Never really missed them. Growing up I never babysat. I never needed money that bad. I have loved every nmin of our life together.
#26
Almost 40, no kids, never married. I work about 50ish hours a week. Life is good. Money just sits in the bank since I don't have to spend it on children, I have a bunch of free time that I use however I want because I can't ask a significant other how they want to spend time together or have to cater my schedule around sports practice, or academia. I use my vacation days to extend some weekends, travel somewhere nice, stay in a bed and breakfast and enjoy the nightlife the place has to offer.
#27
Utterly delightful. We can do what we want, when we want. Zero debt except the mortgage. 10/10 would do again.
#28
Fantastic. I couldn’t ask for a better life. I wouldn’t trade my current status for the greatest child in the world and I like kids. Me 44 and hubby 38, almost mortgage free. Stress from jobs are there but I feel like it’s nothing compared to my friends with kids.
Bonni Poch 3 years ago
Jobs will always cause stress, regardless of whether you're childless or not. I'm a bit older, but also almost mortgage free and love my life. Being childless wasn't my choice, but the lifestyle I have because of it is amazing.
georgios pahatouridis 1 year ago
when I read "mortgage free" on their 40s I am freaking out. Usually mortgages last about 25 years. How old these people bought their house? 15? Or they have a higher monthly payment? But then, how can you survive in your 20s with a really high monthly amount for mortgage? All these remain a mystery to me. (if the answer is not rich family)
#29
45 F, I love it. Also never been married, or never lived with someone (except roommates). I love the freedom to do as I please, spent my money the way I want.
Allie Croft 3 years ago
I have read through all of these and truly wish someone had of said ALL of this to me 30 years ago. I love my sons but I truly wish I never had children. My mother used to say to me when I was a teen (youngest of 5 kids) and she was my age now, "if I knew then what I know now, I would never have had you kids!". I get it now. Why the f**k didn't she explain it better!!! My current husband never wanted kids and respects my now adults sons (sort of), his sister didn't want them either. If only I had of met them earlier in life. I wouldn't be struggling. Having kids: destroys your body, mentality, finances. As they grow they are completely dependant on you for years, then turn into teens that hate you and once they finally leave home, you still stress over them all the time!! 1 out of 10 would NOT recommend!
Cory Tollman 3 years ago
My mom once told me that she and my dad had kids, "before they were smart enough to know better" or something to that effect. I think she meant it more in the way that people wait and then overthink having kids. My parents just did it and had to deal with having kids. They did at least stop after having only two.
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#30
My biggest factors in not wanting kids are SLEEP and SPONTANEITY! When telling my coworker this, she’s like “it’s not as hard as you’d think it is” then, a couple weeks later, she comes in talking about “the baby is sick and can’t sleep” or “the baby was up at 6am today” (we work nights) and she has to plan [things] way in advance, and she can’t handle her car issues because she has no money because of the baby.
Luckily! My sister, my mom, and my close friends who have kids are very honest with me about what their lives are like, and they don’t blame me for not wanting kids! The only people who seem to REALLY want my husband and I to start pumping ‘em out are my coworkers, which is extra weird because like… they would never even see my hypothetical baby ??
Btsquestrian 3 years ago
It's because they want you to be miserable just like them. Misery loves company and all that. FWIW, I'm 48F, happily married for 25+ years, and contentedly childfree.
Dillon Sizemore 3 years ago
Yep it's M.A.D Mutually Assured Depression if 'I' I'm not happy no one will be.
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#31
When people who have children start talking about them, they suddenly look at you and say: “And when are you going to have children?” And when you answer that you don’t want to have children, they tell you that that’s selfish, and they ask who will take care of you later. They also say you need to have children to have your own family, or that you say that because you are too young.
LoudMansLover 3 years ago
What's more selfish - not having them, or having had children only so the kids can take care of them when they're older..?
Monday 3 years ago
I never understood the selfish argument...The very idea of having kids is the selfish choice since you're bringing a human into the world that nobody but you wanted or asked for. Nobody is having kids "for the good of the planet" or "for the good of mankind". Nothing wrong with being selfish in that regard, people are just weird about it.
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TomCat 3 years ago
I hate when people say this about, "family". My husband and I are happily married. We are a family. Period.
Marmie Kyat 3 years ago
Yes you Are! Family is what we make of it. There are bonds way stronger than blood out there.
Load More Replies... Minath 3 years ago
I think it's selfish expecting your children to look after you in your old age. My parents have told myself and my sister that under no circumstances do they want us caring for them. I have told my adult daughter the same, she has her own life to live and if she decides to have children I don't want her to make herself ill by trying to juggle me, her family and her job.
Thatkamloopsguy 3 years ago
How is that selfish when that child doesn't even exist because you didn't even have them.
June 3 years ago (edited)
My friend tells me "when my son is grown up, I'll be able to take a small, cheap, appartment just like you and it will be great !" 🤷♀️ [edit: context is 8th and last floor appt, not that small and big balcony (south), energy bills are soooo low, and rent is basically 500€/month in a big french city]
#32
I've been taking care of my siblings basically all of my life. Too many times I made sacrifices for others sakes. I really enjoy not having to worry about others too much and having alot of alone time. For the most part of my life I don't see myself having kids.
joop 3 years ago
I was the youngest and never watched anyone else's kids, so I didn't really know what to expect, but it's great. It's also a lot of work when they're young, but I really liked doing kid stuff with em, go to the zoo, all the playgrounds, the kids farm. It was like being a kid yourself again, carefree. So we went on a holiday to Greece with the first one and when I came back, I told a friend it was so great. The hotel, the restaurants, it was all for kids with a playground in the restaurant etc. Just fabulous. She's the oldest of 12!! She said: Oh how nice. Yeah I also always first look if a hotel is kid friendly. Oh nice. Yeah. Then I don't go there. LOL
#33
I'm 39, child free, and had surgery to make sure it stays that way. Very pleased with my life - solid job, zero debt, own house, own car, plenty of nerd toys, and plenty of sleep. I do what I want, when I want, how I want and it's fantastic. The funny part to me is seeing people now having kids, who really have no business having them. One person at work she's young, was going to dump her guy, then magically she's pregnant and staying with him, or a long ago friend whos my age but got pregnant and still lives at home with her parents even though she's mid to late 30's. To me the shocking part is how people think creating a human life can just solve all their problems and sadness when all it will do is create more problems and difficulty.
#34
Yes, I had people who say, “You will never save enough to have a baby, so just have one anyway.” I also had people shame and laugh at me for having pets and treating them well. Then those petless people finally got a pet and treated it like a baby too. I was always amazed and wondered how some people afford hair, lashes, nails, etc., every month, but I think we all prioritize what we want to spend our money on. I have other hobbies, so I put my money there instead.
#35
My significant other went to his father for advice when I told him I didn’t want kids. He was young and had not given much thought to the topic yet. His father’s advice was that his mother didn’t want kids either, but then she changed her mind! What kind of advice is that? Luckily, he came around to my side. I mean, the hundreds of reasons not to have kids are so compelling. I just don’t see how anyone could NOT be convinced to lead a glorious child-free lifestyle. I told my significant other within a month cause I didn’t want to waste our time if he really wanted them. If he really wanted them, it just wouldn’t work out.
#36
I teach, and people have used my patience with students as evidence that I’d make a great parent. They don’t seem to understand that I get paid to be patient, and that I get to go home at the end of the day
#37
Fan-Fucking-Tastic. No regrets. Time, travel, money, hobbies, peace, & little stress. We do what we want when we want to and can vacation any time of year. Married 30+ years now and we feel we did the right thing.
#38
Pretty sweet. Sometimes it can be a bit boring, but not nearly enough to think "wish I had kids" or some shit like that.
#39
My last ex was like this too. We only dated for 2 and a half months, thankfully. Toward the end, he sent me a text about how we could "get a surrogate so that we could both be happy." because he could have a biological child for us to raise and I wouldn't have to give birth. (not the point, bud.) Then when we discussed it a couple days later in person, it came out that he didn't think I meant it as strongly as I did when I said I didn't want kids. He thought I just didn't want to give birth. And when I tried to point out that we had discussed this, he tried to imply that I was lying about the content of the previous conversation because "well you didn't say that clearly enough". And when I asked him point blank if he was okay with never having kids if he stayed with me, his response was "I guess I'm fine with that". Nope nope nope. I'm not tolerating an "I guess" on a topic like this. So I bounced. He did not respond to that very well. Tried to contact me again a month after the break up to talk. When I said that if he was trying to get back together, it wasn't going to happen, he got super pissed. Saying that I was making way too big of a deal on the kid thing because he didn't actually care about having kids. That was definitely not accurate... lol
#40
When I was past my thirties, my dad, in an eventful tone, said to me, “I’m very worried about you. You haven’t married, you haven’t started a family, you don’t have children. I’m not going to be happy until I see you happy.” I could not hide my surprise. I could not believe what he had told me. I never considered that one should marry or have children to be “happy”; I still do not consider it necessary, although I am happy with my partner and our dogs. I love children. I like working with them, teaching them, and playing with them, but my decision not to have children is still steadfast. It has nothing to do with whether or not I will be a good father. There are already too many of us in this world, and if we all wanted to have children, we would be accelerating the road to self-destruction.
#41
I’m selfish with my time and don’t want to be held down like that. Also I’ve felt since the 80’s that I’d witness the downfall of mankind so there’s that too: not wanting to bring a child into a world I feel is turning to s**t.
#42
I always thought the urge to have children would eventually hit me. Maybe next year, I'll start trying, I always thought. It was never the right time. Turns out, the right time never came, because I have no active interest in having children. The only reason I wanted them was the worry that I'd regret it if I didn't. And here I am, close to 50, aka I don't feel regret at all. I actually love being independent. I love not having to worry about someone else. My humans is on a business trip And while I really miss him, I realize I actually like being on my own, being able to do i whatever I want, whenever I want. Contrast that with my colleagues with children and their needs and desires always come second. Absolutely no regrets here
#43
I have an aunt who recommended I go to a specialist. For her, it’s because you’re not okay if you don’t want to have a partner or children. I think she thought of it as being immature and insecure. I’m not offended if she questions my mental health, but there were better grounds than “I don’t want to start a family.” Anyway, not to put her down, she’s a sweet person. She was just raised with different values.
#44
My friend (30F) is apparently very invested that I (30F) have a child ASAP. She claims it is the hardest but most rewarding thing she has ever done. If my husband and I were even to try to have a child, it would be very expensive due to fertility issues. Assuming we got pregnant, we’d have to pay for the baby and all its expenses for 18+ years. I told her I did not want to be in debt just from trying to get pregnant alone. Also, I love having the freedom to do what I want when I want. I am too “selfish” to sign up for that lifelong responsibility. My friend reassures me that children are not that expensive. However, she complains that no childcare can accommodate her work schedule and that she cannot afford it... says the woman who gets her hair, nails, eyebrows, and lashes done regularly. I also do, but I don’t have to budget for supporting a child. She complains about this constantly yet still wants me to hop on board the crazy train? No, thank you. Do anyone else’s friends contradict themselves when trying to convince you to have children?
Seedy Vine 3 years ago
I had some friends that contradicted themselves when trying to convince me to have children, but they didn't stay my friends for very long.
#45
Let me get this straight... Tale as old as time. Older people are warning us when we were Teenagers and young adults to enjoy it while it lasts.. Vacation, lots of free time and less responsibilities etc... The highlight of a Good life. So all those older people reminding us, are amazed we remind them the good times are NOT in the past and you could work on it as a (Life)goal. I already here Aunty May gasping, holding her pearls. We always hear the moaning of the Ghost of springBreak-past, how it was so much fun "back in the days" and now they can't even afford fun things. complaining how bad they have it and jealousy on young adults is free, so that's their collective fun thing to do. WHY is it such a sin to work on it (let alone ***think*** it can be done) and Gain back that privilege to the 'less responsibilities, more free times' ?? I save a seat at the Bonfire and a Margarita glass if you get here, no bad vibes here and no bad behaving kids!
#46
I'm 37 and never had kids, and I am single. I feel it is too late in life to have children. And I have always been on the fence about them. I don't feel I the empathy or temperament for children.
#47
I’m financially in good shape, but my life feels somewhat unfulfilling. But I honestly don’t think children would fix that, or a wife… I don’t know. I feel very bad when I hear my coworkers talk about how little time they have for themselves. It is a little bit lonely, but I am very good at keeping myself occupied.
What do you think ?
Cat 3 years ago
I don't have issues with people choosing either having or not having kids. What I do find problematic is one side trying to tell the other side that their choice is wrong in a patronising manner. Neither side should have to justify their choices
James016 3 years ago
This. What I don’t like is people with kids looking down on child free people. I did know someone who once she became a mum, got the biggest superiority complex about it be ever. Expected everyone’s world to revolve around her as “I’m a mother”. Her husband divorced her and he got custody of their kids.
Load More Replies... LoudMansLover 3 years ago (edited)
I'm 46 and do not, nor have I ever wanted, to have kids. I do not even find babies cute, I don't have the energy, time or desire for kids. Told my prospective hubby this before we got serious & he agreed, so 17 years later he and I are happy the way we are.
Eastendbird 3 years ago
I do love that being child free has become so much more accepted now and it's good that articles like this allow people to discuss their choices, thoughts and feelings. However, the real "victory" will be when we don't feel the need to comment on it.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
My husband and I decided not to have kids, and we're content with that choice. When I was young, I spent a lot of time taking care of my half-siblings, because my divorced parents were great at churning out kids but didn't have any interest in looking after them. My Mom signed me up for a Red Cross class that taught me how to do CPR on the little ones if necessary, and then she considered me good to go. I would feed the kids SpaghettiOs and read them stories while she was at the bar. I feel like I had my kids in middle school.
Janet C 3 years ago
Mine turned out great. I knew at 16 I never wanted kids. I'm now 66 and have zero regrets. I retired at 62 and my husband and I moved to a villa in the gorgeous Monduver mountains an hour south of Valencia Spain. Even after 5 years I feel like I'm living a dream. We live in a paradise and also take frequent trips all over Europe. None of this would have happened if we'd had kids.
Tyranamar Seuss 3 years ago
I kind of wanted to hear from people who were past childbearing age- say 55 or older, how life had turned out. Not someone at 30 telling me they are happy with their cat. I'm really curious how it looks when you're older and look back. I liked the one from the 70 y/o lady.
Ciderale 3 years ago
We tried. Lost 3 times. Can take it out of you. We are both nearing 60 now and it's just us. We pretend to be happy but know something is missing. Everyone can get mad at me, but I don't care. If you have the means, have children and a family.
Lea S. 3 years ago (edited)
I run a daycare. My whole life is kids. A client I've known for 20 years out of the clear blue the other day asked me when I was going to have kids. Excuse me? Who's paying for the extra room I would need to add on? I'm a single lady, the last man I considered settling down with died of aggressive cancer. I have no plans for that. Then she asked who would take care of me when I grew old? I'd take care of me, and imho that's a terrible reason to have children. Then she said I'd be lonely, I told her I would LOVE to be more lonely. LOVE. IT. I sent her a pic that night. My boutique table for two on my porch, a glass of wine, and enjoying the quiet and the stars for several hours. She also likes to frequently point out that since they had kids early, they will be *done* parenting by *insert age.* My oldest sibling is in his early 50s, the youngest is 34. My mom isn't done parenting, neither is my dad.
Gozer LeGozerian 3 years ago
Such a pathetic reason to have kids, so they can wipe your @ss when you're old
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Scarlett 3 years ago
I’m almost 18 and I know that I never want children. I can be a camp counselor, I can work in a nursery. I can work with children. I never want one. My mental health issues are too problematic (I barely take care of myself some days let alone a child). Also I do not have the patience for being with kids 24/7 365. My mom is still pressuring me to change my mind because she was one of those people who wanted a family. I don’t think I will
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Everyone deserves every chance to pursue their best life and I totally believe if a person doesn’t want kids they have no need to justify. I do find that so many of these are money focused. Maybe I’m lucky in that life changed after kiddo but not drastically. I did find a partner who shares everything 50/50. My career hasn’t suffered although, I live in a country where kids are a part of life and society (not the US). I have a startup, pursue hobbies, friends/social life with friends who don’t have kids. I don’t always get to sleep in and I can’t just pick up and go however, that’s equally driven by having a large dog who likes to get up for morning potties at like 5 am.
Gozer LeGozerian 3 years ago
And? What's wrong with people wanting more money? This world isnt exactly cheap to live in.
Load More Replies... Cat 3 years ago
I don't have issues with people choosing either having or not having kids. What I do find problematic is one side trying to tell the other side that their choice is wrong in a patronising manner. Neither side should have to justify their choices
James016 3 years ago
This. What I don’t like is people with kids looking down on child free people. I did know someone who once she became a mum, got the biggest superiority complex about it be ever. Expected everyone’s world to revolve around her as “I’m a mother”. Her husband divorced her and he got custody of their kids.
Load More Replies... LoudMansLover 3 years ago (edited)
I'm 46 and do not, nor have I ever wanted, to have kids. I do not even find babies cute, I don't have the energy, time or desire for kids. Told my prospective hubby this before we got serious & he agreed, so 17 years later he and I are happy the way we are.
Eastendbird 3 years ago
I do love that being child free has become so much more accepted now and it's good that articles like this allow people to discuss their choices, thoughts and feelings. However, the real "victory" will be when we don't feel the need to comment on it.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
My husband and I decided not to have kids, and we're content with that choice. When I was young, I spent a lot of time taking care of my half-siblings, because my divorced parents were great at churning out kids but didn't have any interest in looking after them. My Mom signed me up for a Red Cross class that taught me how to do CPR on the little ones if necessary, and then she considered me good to go. I would feed the kids SpaghettiOs and read them stories while she was at the bar. I feel like I had my kids in middle school.
Janet C 3 years ago
Mine turned out great. I knew at 16 I never wanted kids. I'm now 66 and have zero regrets. I retired at 62 and my husband and I moved to a villa in the gorgeous Monduver mountains an hour south of Valencia Spain. Even after 5 years I feel like I'm living a dream. We live in a paradise and also take frequent trips all over Europe. None of this would have happened if we'd had kids.
Tyranamar Seuss 3 years ago
I kind of wanted to hear from people who were past childbearing age- say 55 or older, how life had turned out. Not someone at 30 telling me they are happy with their cat. I'm really curious how it looks when you're older and look back. I liked the one from the 70 y/o lady.
Ciderale 3 years ago
We tried. Lost 3 times. Can take it out of you. We are both nearing 60 now and it's just us. We pretend to be happy but know something is missing. Everyone can get mad at me, but I don't care. If you have the means, have children and a family.
Lea S. 3 years ago (edited)
I run a daycare. My whole life is kids. A client I've known for 20 years out of the clear blue the other day asked me when I was going to have kids. Excuse me? Who's paying for the extra room I would need to add on? I'm a single lady, the last man I considered settling down with died of aggressive cancer. I have no plans for that. Then she asked who would take care of me when I grew old? I'd take care of me, and imho that's a terrible reason to have children. Then she said I'd be lonely, I told her I would LOVE to be more lonely. LOVE. IT. I sent her a pic that night. My boutique table for two on my porch, a glass of wine, and enjoying the quiet and the stars for several hours. She also likes to frequently point out that since they had kids early, they will be *done* parenting by *insert age.* My oldest sibling is in his early 50s, the youngest is 34. My mom isn't done parenting, neither is my dad.
Gozer LeGozerian 3 years ago
Such a pathetic reason to have kids, so they can wipe your @ss when you're old
Load More Replies... Scarlett 3 years ago
I’m almost 18 and I know that I never want children. I can be a camp counselor, I can work in a nursery. I can work with children. I never want one. My mental health issues are too problematic (I barely take care of myself some days let alone a child). Also I do not have the patience for being with kids 24/7 365. My mom is still pressuring me to change my mind because she was one of those people who wanted a family. I don’t think I will
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
Everyone deserves every chance to pursue their best life and I totally believe if a person doesn’t want kids they have no need to justify. I do find that so many of these are money focused. Maybe I’m lucky in that life changed after kiddo but not drastically. I did find a partner who shares everything 50/50. My career hasn’t suffered although, I live in a country where kids are a part of life and society (not the US). I have a startup, pursue hobbies, friends/social life with friends who don’t have kids. I don’t always get to sleep in and I can’t just pick up and go however, that’s equally driven by having a large dog who likes to get up for morning potties at like 5 am.
Gozer LeGozerian 3 years ago
And? What's wrong with people wanting more money? This world isnt exactly cheap to live in.
Load More Replies...
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