Someone Imagined What Would Happen If People Bought Cars Like Computers, And It’s Hilariously True
Trying to provide tech support for someone who doesn’t know the first thing about computers is frustrating enough. What’s even worse, though, is the fact that the person doesn’t even know how ridiculous they sound. Software engineer Jon Parise is putting it in ‘layman’s terms’ by pondering what it would sound like if customers bought and complained about cars the same way as computers – and it’s so hilarious. As advances in auto technology become more and more futuristic (driverless cars, anyone?), these scenarios may very well become a reality for customer service workers before we know it.
Laugh now, shudder later. Share this with anyone in your life who thinks using a computer is akin to flipping a light switch, and let us know if they got the joke.
More info: Jon Parise
Credit: NYU Press
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Um, in some cases, this really isn't that much of a stretch. I get to witness the driving habits of lots of people, and some should really have to go to driver's ed again.
OK, so I've been guilty of one of those (not saying which). But in deference to the owners, many manufacturers (Microsoft) are WAY too technical and have me chasing all over the internet for answers. The need a sort of "geek liaison" to translate into English.
Imagine what s*it the original customers (I mean those who bought the computers and were an inspiration for those stories)said. Honestly, scientists are absolutely right, stupid people always search the mistake in others' actions even if it's more obvious than a brick wall that they are the ones who are wrong.
Not all people, but an awful lot, yeah... Doing CS for a video game, sometimes we get angry customers accusing our game and services, only to turn out they don't know how to play.... I mean, you could contact your customer service kindly asking for advices, like some other customers actually do, but some people prefer to become an internal joke.
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Even tough this is a joke, I feel like something like these situations have probably happened sometime...
Considering, I once saw a lady (driving a brand new white BMW,) get angry with me because I told her she had to pay for parking, and then promptly throw her car in to reverse and- with considerable force - backed into a 'decorative' 5 ton rock (whose sole purpose in being there was because said rock was nicer looking than an ugly bollard, and we needed to protect a fire hydrant,) pulled her car forward into the space she previously was occupying, got out of her car and began blaming me, some how, for hitting the rock, and wanting *our* insurance information. The best part of this story, is that, after that conversation, she repeated the performance.... I'll just say that people really are that dumb. Not everybody, mind you, but they exist in perfusion.
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I'm sure there are people doing this with newer cars. Computer or Electric Vehicle? Helpline: "Did you plug it into the outlet?"; Customer: "Plug what in???"
Having spent 35 years in front of a computer and 20 years doing support, I'm very patient with people who don't understand something. But it seems all common sense is lost with many users when they write me. Instead of using the name of the thing spelled-out in front of them, they use pronouns, leave out important parts, or rename things what they want and expect me to know what they are talking about. When I don't know all the information I may reply with a set of questions or steps to try. Inevitably, I get the answer to one of them chosen at random and I have to re-ask about the others. This is how the vast majority of users are. No matter how precisely and plainly I write, some people misunderstand. They only read the sentence they want and sometimes still can't comprehend it. I have to be very careful not to sound patronizing when I point out what words mean in my sentences to native speakers. These are not technical knowledge problems.
My we're forgetting all about the moron who knew less than the customer he sold it to. The expert blue monkeys know nothing, care less and say whatever it takes to sell the thing. So the customer has been completely robbed by someone the company said could be trusted and now their self important tech douche who knows MARGINALLY more than dumb customer is being an unhelpful a*s. Hey tech support douche, you're not in tech support because you're a 007 level super spy tech God. You're a burger flipper at McTechy. Useful and relevant, hard working intelligent tech support folks move up because they are too busy working to talk s**t about the people they serve. Fortunately things like this exist not because all tech support are douches but because good tech support needs an outlet to deal with exceptional idiots and terrible days at work.
Am I the only one who was kept face palming while reading this?
I would so like to turn the tables on this guy by re-formatting his article for what might well be HIS call to me - on, say a problem he has he has no idea how to fix, because it's not in his area of training or interests. i.e. Me. "Hello, Medical Advisory Consultant, how can I help you?" Him. "I have this problem. I haven't been to the toilet in 5 days and now I have pain in my stomach" Me. "Do you mean you haven't passed feaces" Him." What does that mean?" Me. "Have you opened your bowels" Him "Have I done what. ??' Me. "have you pooped"? Him. Oh no. Me. 'OK. Does this often happen" Him."Only when I eat lots of eggs and dont drink much water" Me. "You have diet caused constipation. Take two laxatives and wait overnight" We all have our areas of expertise my friend. Making fun of those of us with no interest in or training for the world of computer soft ware just makes you look like a jerk.
In your example the person does want to know what wrong. The people in the post don't care, they just want their computer fixed. I don't think everyone needs to know how everything works, but ''USB port'' and ''browser'' are things I'd expect the average person to know.
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it’s the joke that if you could buy a car like a computer and there was a place you could call in, this is what it would be like. they aren’t really conversations.
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Um, in some cases, this really isn't that much of a stretch. I get to witness the driving habits of lots of people, and some should really have to go to driver's ed again.
OK, so I've been guilty of one of those (not saying which). But in deference to the owners, many manufacturers (Microsoft) are WAY too technical and have me chasing all over the internet for answers. The need a sort of "geek liaison" to translate into English.
Imagine what s*it the original customers (I mean those who bought the computers and were an inspiration for those stories)said. Honestly, scientists are absolutely right, stupid people always search the mistake in others' actions even if it's more obvious than a brick wall that they are the ones who are wrong.
Not all people, but an awful lot, yeah... Doing CS for a video game, sometimes we get angry customers accusing our game and services, only to turn out they don't know how to play.... I mean, you could contact your customer service kindly asking for advices, like some other customers actually do, but some people prefer to become an internal joke.
Load More Replies... Even tough this is a joke, I feel like something like these situations have probably happened sometime...
Considering, I once saw a lady (driving a brand new white BMW,) get angry with me because I told her she had to pay for parking, and then promptly throw her car in to reverse and- with considerable force - backed into a 'decorative' 5 ton rock (whose sole purpose in being there was because said rock was nicer looking than an ugly bollard, and we needed to protect a fire hydrant,) pulled her car forward into the space she previously was occupying, got out of her car and began blaming me, some how, for hitting the rock, and wanting *our* insurance information. The best part of this story, is that, after that conversation, she repeated the performance.... I'll just say that people really are that dumb. Not everybody, mind you, but they exist in perfusion.
Load More Replies... I'm sure there are people doing this with newer cars. Computer or Electric Vehicle? Helpline: "Did you plug it into the outlet?"; Customer: "Plug what in???"
Having spent 35 years in front of a computer and 20 years doing support, I'm very patient with people who don't understand something. But it seems all common sense is lost with many users when they write me. Instead of using the name of the thing spelled-out in front of them, they use pronouns, leave out important parts, or rename things what they want and expect me to know what they are talking about. When I don't know all the information I may reply with a set of questions or steps to try. Inevitably, I get the answer to one of them chosen at random and I have to re-ask about the others. This is how the vast majority of users are. No matter how precisely and plainly I write, some people misunderstand. They only read the sentence they want and sometimes still can't comprehend it. I have to be very careful not to sound patronizing when I point out what words mean in my sentences to native speakers. These are not technical knowledge problems.
My we're forgetting all about the moron who knew less than the customer he sold it to. The expert blue monkeys know nothing, care less and say whatever it takes to sell the thing. So the customer has been completely robbed by someone the company said could be trusted and now their self important tech douche who knows MARGINALLY more than dumb customer is being an unhelpful a*s. Hey tech support douche, you're not in tech support because you're a 007 level super spy tech God. You're a burger flipper at McTechy. Useful and relevant, hard working intelligent tech support folks move up because they are too busy working to talk s**t about the people they serve. Fortunately things like this exist not because all tech support are douches but because good tech support needs an outlet to deal with exceptional idiots and terrible days at work.
Am I the only one who was kept face palming while reading this?
I would so like to turn the tables on this guy by re-formatting his article for what might well be HIS call to me - on, say a problem he has he has no idea how to fix, because it's not in his area of training or interests. i.e. Me. "Hello, Medical Advisory Consultant, how can I help you?" Him. "I have this problem. I haven't been to the toilet in 5 days and now I have pain in my stomach" Me. "Do you mean you haven't passed feaces" Him." What does that mean?" Me. "Have you opened your bowels" Him "Have I done what. ??' Me. "have you pooped"? Him. Oh no. Me. 'OK. Does this often happen" Him."Only when I eat lots of eggs and dont drink much water" Me. "You have diet caused constipation. Take two laxatives and wait overnight" We all have our areas of expertise my friend. Making fun of those of us with no interest in or training for the world of computer soft ware just makes you look like a jerk.
In your example the person does want to know what wrong. The people in the post don't care, they just want their computer fixed. I don't think everyone needs to know how everything works, but ''USB port'' and ''browser'' are things I'd expect the average person to know.
Load More Replies... it’s the joke that if you could buy a car like a computer and there was a place you could call in, this is what it would be like. they aren’t really conversations.
Load More Replies...
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