Bridesmaid Finds Out Bride Pocketed $7k From Bridal Party, Exposes Her In A Group Chat
Interview With Author
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, weddings often come with a whole slew of intrigue, drama, and joy, so it’s no surprise that many a story features one at some point. And, as it so often turns out, real life manages to be stranger than fiction.
A bridesmaid and her family discovered that the bride had pocketed the money everyone had sent her for her rather expensive bachelorette party. So she decided to dig a little deeper and found a whole web of lies and double-dealing. Later, she detailed the entire story of investigating, gathering evidence, and confronting the bride. We got in touch with dorkvader23 to learn more.
Weddings often cost quite a bit of money if you are covering all your bases
Image credits: Igal Ness / unsplash (not the actual photo)
But one bridesmaid discovered that the bride was pocketing money they had given for the bachelorette party
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Elina Sazonova / pexels (not the actual photo)
Later, OP shared a few juicy updates
Image credits: Kelli McClintock / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: tracy truhan / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: dorkvader23
OP shared a few more details
Bored Panda got in touch with dorkvader23 and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. Since posting the story and its many updates, there have even been a few more events. “Most of the other bridesmaids are on board with going on the trip to have our own mini-vacations instead of participating in the bachelorette party. A few of us (myself included) are considering bringing our husbands/significant others down as well! We were forced to book this ridiculous beachfront mansion so we may as well enjoy it! The bottom line: we won’t be celebrating the bride on this trip or contributing to any future part of her wedding. Additionally, we have all backed out of hosting/paying for the bridal shower. The mother of the bride is livid about all this – I’m going to let some time pass to get a good update, and I will add more to the post after my trip.”
“I think the bride felt she could get away with it because of the toxic maximalist culture that surrounds western weddings today. I really feel that she believed we would all be happy to support her Ice Swan purchase solely because “it’s her special day.” As someone who has been in probably 8 weddings by now – there is nothing I dread more than being asked to be a bridesmaid. I don’t even blame the brides (most of the time!) I blame society. We tell brides that in order to have an acceptable wedding, they need 8-10 girls to essentially take on a part-time job that requires hours and hours of our time and thousands of dollars. There’s usually the engagement party, the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding day, and the post-wedding brunch. Some even go as far as requiring certain themes/outfits/dress codes for each event, plus a million other expenses that no one but the bride actually cares about. It’s just. Too. Much. And it all falls on the bridesmaids. (Btw where are the groomsmen during all this ?!),” she shared with Bored Panda.
“I want to add that I am not jaded/bitter/or hate weddings. I just hate THESE kinds of weddings. I’ve been to tons of great weddings hosted by great people. I also got married this year and made my focus on ensuring guests had an awesome time and didn’t have to break the bank in order to do so. I think people are pressured to outdo each other on social media, and this applies to weddings. I believe that’s why so many people are willing to have these massive, ridiculous weddings that they can’t afford. SIL’s wedding already costs more than my house, for example.”
Getting married often ends up costing a pretty penny
Image credits: Luis Tosta / unsplash (not the actual photo)
If one was going to have a wedding with all the fixins’ including the bachelor and/or bachelorette parties, a big ceremony, decorations, a reception party, and so on, it only makes sense that the price would end up being quite high. The Knot believes that the average wedding, in the United States, costs somewhere between $16,000 and $46,000, which is a pretty penny for what amounts to a party or two over a couple of days.
Because some couples are insistent on a sizable wedding, there is even an entire wedding loan business out there for people who are truly desperate. It works like any other loan, assessing your creditworthiness, income, and debt history. However, like in so many cases, it’s often better to borrow from the family who are likely to be more understanding and less likely to repossess your possessions as payment.
It’s normal to get family to help pay for your wedding
This is why, perhaps, the parents who were paying for a lot of it didn’t even mind, at first. After all, everyone knows weddings are expensive, but who would hold money back from what might be the most important day of your children’s lives? As with so many things in life, the real issue was the fact that she lied to multiple people, including the folks bankrolling the entire event, like an ice-sculpture-obsessed Elizabeth Holmes.
Unfortunately, the result of one massive wedding after another, is that many people have started to think it’s normal and, at best, absolutely normal and necessary. As OP noted, $650 a head for the Airbnb is excess, but she still paid it as part of the bridal party. If you take a step back, how many events would you be willing to fork over that much money for?
In general, this bride has a lot of ideas with little means to execute them
Image credits: Álvaro CvG / unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, having a big, expensive wedding is one thing, misleading people to just pocket their money is significantly worse. Even when caught, the bride still tried to weasel her way out of returning the money, something which most commenters argued should have been the breaking point where OP reveals that the jig is up.
In a previous post, which OP alludes to in the comments (some of which can be found below) it becomes clear that this particular bride has an appetite that excessively exceeds her means. Even without “scamming” them, the bride was asking for quite a bit from the bridesmaids, for the cost of dresses, makeup, hair, gifts and God knows what else. The fact that she had the gall to ask for more, and then pocket it is too much to stomach.
It’s worth noting that many of these obsessions appear to be the brides alone, from the bachelorette to the decorations, as the groom had much more down-to-ideas planned, which can also be found below, in the comments section. On that note, be sure to share your own thoughts and ideas below and look through OP’s discussion with some of the readers for more context.
Readers gave OP their own suggestions
Others shared their reactions and thoughts
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If that were me in that situation I would conspire with all of the others to go on the trip but do what we want. Technically if we paid for the AirBnB she can't kick anyone out because then she will open the window to be able to be legally sued for a refund and would have to pay.
Exactly! And, maybe in advance, find out what expenses you can cause that are her obligation to pay afterwards. Any taxi rides, uber, food, entrance fees - whatever you can throw on her pile of bills, do and throw. Maybe stick your request to be refunded on that stupid melting bird, make sure it looks hideous. Spite? Yes. But, tbh, I can't even. This behaviour needs punishment. Punish her, but make it enjoyable for yourselves.
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Mine was 1500 and it was fantastic. It's 1 freakin day, if people save the money for a honeymoon I would understand, but weddings are so freakin overrated.
Load More Replies... I’d be doing 2 things right now. The first would be telling her to cancel the ice sculpture. It’s frozen water and as it’s still a week away from the bachelorette party it hasn’t been made. The worst the company can do is keep part of the money as a deposit for the not yet frozen water. The other thing I would do is speak to the other women who have been charged for it and get them all to refuse to let the ‘influencer’ bride use any images of them from the trip on her social media. This is the best revenge they could exact.
Please, if someone knows who this "influencer" is, share the info.
She's an "Influencer," out only out for herself, greedy, selfish & fake. Whilst I am sorry for your situation, I am more concerned for you brother. He is in denial & in for one bumpy ride. I give them 2 yrs at most before he wises up & leaves.
The bride needs therapy before the marriage can flourish. Her status as an "influencer" is fine but doesn't put food on the table or pay bills. Does she expect to be taken care of by her husband? If he agrees to the arrangement, that's on him. If children follow, he should expect to pay for a nanny to care for them. Good Luck!
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She couldn't cancel the swan ice sculpture? In this situation, return or cancel everything you can, including bridesmaid dress, shoes and most definately wedding present, do not spend one cent more than you have to, resell anything you can't cancel, and see if you can rebook hair/makeup services for another day/event. Tell the other BMs you are doing so. Go to the wedding, because it's your brother's wedding, but do not be her bridesmaid. If anyone questions it, be honest: "We're short of money right now, because Bride owes me £650, and refuses to pay it back. She stole a total of £7,000 from the bridesmaids, and that's after we'd already paid other expenses of over £1,000 each. That £7k? She used it to pay for the swan ice sculpture. We're all financially stressed, and racking up credit card debt so she can have a fancy wedding."
you know what would REALLY make that wedding memorable for this bride? if someone were to light some lovely scented candles by that ice swan. :)
Baseball bat for each bridesmaid - smash that f****r!
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My suggestion is for the bridesmaids to bring their hair dryers to the reception.
As if the wedding itself isn't a look-at-me affair, now we have to endure expensive get-aways with the bride and/or groom? GTFOYA Self-indulgent people annoy me to no end. There is NO reason for a get-away bride's weekend, there is no reason for the weekend AND a shower. GREED is out of hand.
I can't ever imagine a scenario like this. In India, its customary for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid's dresses. They also book hotel rooms to accommodate their guests and I've been to weddings in various cities where I've only had to pay for my airfare. Food and stay was always taken care of. The couple's parents also shop and buy sarees or dress materials for their close friends and family members so that one outfit is covered. My house help will be getting married soon and she's already has a list of 30 sarees to buy for her family and friends.
I’m from England and my friend is getting married in India in 18 months. I’ve been invited and already been told that I only need to cover my flight. I’ve never met her partner or family and we only met 6 months ago yet I’m invited to stay with her family.
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Every time I read one of these brides maid articles, I get a differend feelingg about what BM means.
I dunno man, does the ice sculpture make you pay everything up front? I would think it would just be a despoit that you may lose if you cancel
Oh my... No one could ever get me to pay this amount of money for a wedding of a stranger my sibling is about to marry. I really hate this new trend around weddings anyways. Like these people do not pay for their own screwed up wedding fantasies most of the time. If they have their own money to throw out for their "dream wedding" it is their own choice and it is okay. But to trick your future family members only for the purpose of few snobby photos for intagram... Sounds stupit at least. I'd be devastated if my brother would marry a women like this bride is.
FFS, you decided to go to a wedding where, as a bridesmaid, you would be paying more than I've previously spent buying a car? Now you complain about $650?
Everyone has a limit and this woman reached hers, not just because of the amount but because of the lies.
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That is not even the end of the story. It turned out that there never was an ice swan. The bridesmaids and their SOs went to the location and the bride was furious that no one waited at the limo pick up at the airport. later she vanished for a few hours and returned in a wheel chair with some nurses in tow. Turns out she booked that AirBnB because of its location... close to a plastic surgery office.... and it had space for the nurses and the private chef for her post-surgery care, because the 7k went into a new set of boobs she got done that weekend. There was a later update... the wedding is off because apparently the bride cheated on her future husband with the same doctor who made her new boobs. They should make a movie out of this, I would watch it.
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I guess I am being a big victim-blame-y, but why on earth would you spend $650 you cant afford on a brides weekend? You "have kids to feed"? Then say no.
Think all the BM should just ghost the wedding, say they went same place as their $$.
Geeze, for my brother’s wedding, myself, the brides sister and another friend went out to dinner. I don’t know what my brother did, but probably something similar. That was 20+ years ago, but come on people! For me the Bachelor/eye party and the wedding should be about spending time with friends and family, and having fun! If I did it again I’d throw a backyard BBQ and oh, surprise! We’re getting married!
Why tf did any of them agree to these outrageous expenses in the first place? $650 Airbnb? Just Say No.
Traditionally the bride's parents used to pay for the venue, reception dinner, maybe the music, and the bride's gown, etc., and the groom's parents would pay for rehearsal dinner and maybe the booze at the reception. That's it. The rest of the family would not contribute money. The wedding industry is out of control and too many brides think they're being crowned queen of the universe.
"Where are the groomsmen?" Literally having nothing to do with any of this cr*p.
'get a real job' that sent me. but seriously all respect and trust is now GONE for the bride.
All the BMs should go there, but once arrived, just have a vacation of their own liking. Maybe there's like a museum around that has one halfway interesting exhibit? Go there instead of some of the wedding BS. Just show up early enough to stuff yourself with whatever food is around, and then leave again for some fun activity with people who don't exploit you. Ruin her fücking wedding. Not a single photograph matching her delusion shall be taken! Nothing at all should be done to her request, as long as you're legally safe, do something else, elser or elsest! And, mention it every time you see her. Make her cry. Out of spite and pettiery, but still - it was her goal to have some instagram-wedding, and she just shouldn't succeed with that because she exploited you, lied to you, in real life. Like, real reality. That relevant life besides the idiocy that is all of every and any influencery!
Absolutely the other women in the bachelorette party have a right to know they’ve been taken to the cleaners, and they have a right to know it *before* the wedding. And as a group y’all need to demand that the bride refund your money. EDIT: When you demand your refunds, demand that they need to be made before the wedding or no bachelorette party will happen.
I am a bit offended by the „western culture“ comment. I really don‘t think it is „western culture“ in general, that has this problem…..
It is though. As stated by other commenters, for example, in India the bride's attendants don't pay for their clothes or any parties. Not sure about, for example, Canada or the U.K., but in the U.S. a LOT of brides do this elaborate, crazy-expensive stuff and expect their bridesmaids to pay for it.
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My wife allowed me to plan most of our wedding AND most of the cost came from HER savings as I was coming out of debt from being bad financially for many previous years and my huge raise at work actually took affect not until during our honeymoon so as little as I contributed it was my best. She also thanked me for paying for her (beautiful but super affordable "considering the comps") dress, my tuxedo setup (I've worn it many times afterwards especially two of her own sibling's weddings so worth buying imho) and very little else but was genuinely thankful for any tiny contribution going towards her happiness. Turns out Happy Wife Happy Life is quite real, who knew? Lol. This here is not just a bridezilla but she has all wondering how to navigate this mess without offending or hurting someone else when she the sole culprit shold be the one completely red faced for EVERYTHING. How proud is the FOTB now? This story taped to seat bottoms and an indicative speach? Gooz Fraba!
If that were me in that situation I would conspire with all of the others to go on the trip but do what we want. Technically if we paid for the AirBnB she can't kick anyone out because then she will open the window to be able to be legally sued for a refund and would have to pay.
Exactly! And, maybe in advance, find out what expenses you can cause that are her obligation to pay afterwards. Any taxi rides, uber, food, entrance fees - whatever you can throw on her pile of bills, do and throw. Maybe stick your request to be refunded on that stupid melting bird, make sure it looks hideous. Spite? Yes. But, tbh, I can't even. This behaviour needs punishment. Punish her, but make it enjoyable for yourselves.
Load More Replies... Mine was 1500 and it was fantastic. It's 1 freakin day, if people save the money for a honeymoon I would understand, but weddings are so freakin overrated.
Load More Replies... I’d be doing 2 things right now. The first would be telling her to cancel the ice sculpture. It’s frozen water and as it’s still a week away from the bachelorette party it hasn’t been made. The worst the company can do is keep part of the money as a deposit for the not yet frozen water. The other thing I would do is speak to the other women who have been charged for it and get them all to refuse to let the ‘influencer’ bride use any images of them from the trip on her social media. This is the best revenge they could exact.
Please, if someone knows who this "influencer" is, share the info.
She's an "Influencer," out only out for herself, greedy, selfish & fake. Whilst I am sorry for your situation, I am more concerned for you brother. He is in denial & in for one bumpy ride. I give them 2 yrs at most before he wises up & leaves.
The bride needs therapy before the marriage can flourish. Her status as an "influencer" is fine but doesn't put food on the table or pay bills. Does she expect to be taken care of by her husband? If he agrees to the arrangement, that's on him. If children follow, he should expect to pay for a nanny to care for them. Good Luck!
Load More Replies... She couldn't cancel the swan ice sculpture? In this situation, return or cancel everything you can, including bridesmaid dress, shoes and most definately wedding present, do not spend one cent more than you have to, resell anything you can't cancel, and see if you can rebook hair/makeup services for another day/event. Tell the other BMs you are doing so. Go to the wedding, because it's your brother's wedding, but do not be her bridesmaid. If anyone questions it, be honest: "We're short of money right now, because Bride owes me £650, and refuses to pay it back. She stole a total of £7,000 from the bridesmaids, and that's after we'd already paid other expenses of over £1,000 each. That £7k? She used it to pay for the swan ice sculpture. We're all financially stressed, and racking up credit card debt so she can have a fancy wedding."
you know what would REALLY make that wedding memorable for this bride? if someone were to light some lovely scented candles by that ice swan. :)
Baseball bat for each bridesmaid - smash that f****r!
Load More Replies... My suggestion is for the bridesmaids to bring their hair dryers to the reception.
As if the wedding itself isn't a look-at-me affair, now we have to endure expensive get-aways with the bride and/or groom? GTFOYA Self-indulgent people annoy me to no end. There is NO reason for a get-away bride's weekend, there is no reason for the weekend AND a shower. GREED is out of hand.
I can't ever imagine a scenario like this. In India, its customary for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid's dresses. They also book hotel rooms to accommodate their guests and I've been to weddings in various cities where I've only had to pay for my airfare. Food and stay was always taken care of. The couple's parents also shop and buy sarees or dress materials for their close friends and family members so that one outfit is covered. My house help will be getting married soon and she's already has a list of 30 sarees to buy for her family and friends.
I’m from England and my friend is getting married in India in 18 months. I’ve been invited and already been told that I only need to cover my flight. I’ve never met her partner or family and we only met 6 months ago yet I’m invited to stay with her family.
Load More Replies... Every time I read one of these brides maid articles, I get a differend feelingg about what BM means.
I dunno man, does the ice sculpture make you pay everything up front? I would think it would just be a despoit that you may lose if you cancel
Oh my... No one could ever get me to pay this amount of money for a wedding of a stranger my sibling is about to marry. I really hate this new trend around weddings anyways. Like these people do not pay for their own screwed up wedding fantasies most of the time. If they have their own money to throw out for their "dream wedding" it is their own choice and it is okay. But to trick your future family members only for the purpose of few snobby photos for intagram... Sounds stupit at least. I'd be devastated if my brother would marry a women like this bride is.
FFS, you decided to go to a wedding where, as a bridesmaid, you would be paying more than I've previously spent buying a car? Now you complain about $650?
Everyone has a limit and this woman reached hers, not just because of the amount but because of the lies.
Load More Replies... That is not even the end of the story. It turned out that there never was an ice swan. The bridesmaids and their SOs went to the location and the bride was furious that no one waited at the limo pick up at the airport. later she vanished for a few hours and returned in a wheel chair with some nurses in tow. Turns out she booked that AirBnB because of its location... close to a plastic surgery office.... and it had space for the nurses and the private chef for her post-surgery care, because the 7k went into a new set of boobs she got done that weekend. There was a later update... the wedding is off because apparently the bride cheated on her future husband with the same doctor who made her new boobs. They should make a movie out of this, I would watch it.
Load More Replies... I guess I am being a big victim-blame-y, but why on earth would you spend $650 you cant afford on a brides weekend? You "have kids to feed"? Then say no.
Think all the BM should just ghost the wedding, say they went same place as their $$.
Geeze, for my brother’s wedding, myself, the brides sister and another friend went out to dinner. I don’t know what my brother did, but probably something similar. That was 20+ years ago, but come on people! For me the Bachelor/eye party and the wedding should be about spending time with friends and family, and having fun! If I did it again I’d throw a backyard BBQ and oh, surprise! We’re getting married!
Why tf did any of them agree to these outrageous expenses in the first place? $650 Airbnb? Just Say No.
Traditionally the bride's parents used to pay for the venue, reception dinner, maybe the music, and the bride's gown, etc., and the groom's parents would pay for rehearsal dinner and maybe the booze at the reception. That's it. The rest of the family would not contribute money. The wedding industry is out of control and too many brides think they're being crowned queen of the universe.
"Where are the groomsmen?" Literally having nothing to do with any of this cr*p.
'get a real job' that sent me. but seriously all respect and trust is now GONE for the bride.
All the BMs should go there, but once arrived, just have a vacation of their own liking. Maybe there's like a museum around that has one halfway interesting exhibit? Go there instead of some of the wedding BS. Just show up early enough to stuff yourself with whatever food is around, and then leave again for some fun activity with people who don't exploit you. Ruin her fücking wedding. Not a single photograph matching her delusion shall be taken! Nothing at all should be done to her request, as long as you're legally safe, do something else, elser or elsest! And, mention it every time you see her. Make her cry. Out of spite and pettiery, but still - it was her goal to have some instagram-wedding, and she just shouldn't succeed with that because she exploited you, lied to you, in real life. Like, real reality. That relevant life besides the idiocy that is all of every and any influencery!
Absolutely the other women in the bachelorette party have a right to know they’ve been taken to the cleaners, and they have a right to know it *before* the wedding. And as a group y’all need to demand that the bride refund your money. EDIT: When you demand your refunds, demand that they need to be made before the wedding or no bachelorette party will happen.
I am a bit offended by the „western culture“ comment. I really don‘t think it is „western culture“ in general, that has this problem…..
It is though. As stated by other commenters, for example, in India the bride's attendants don't pay for their clothes or any parties. Not sure about, for example, Canada or the U.K., but in the U.S. a LOT of brides do this elaborate, crazy-expensive stuff and expect their bridesmaids to pay for it.
Load More Replies... My wife allowed me to plan most of our wedding AND most of the cost came from HER savings as I was coming out of debt from being bad financially for many previous years and my huge raise at work actually took affect not until during our honeymoon so as little as I contributed it was my best. She also thanked me for paying for her (beautiful but super affordable "considering the comps") dress, my tuxedo setup (I've worn it many times afterwards especially two of her own sibling's weddings so worth buying imho) and very little else but was genuinely thankful for any tiny contribution going towards her happiness. Turns out Happy Wife Happy Life is quite real, who knew? Lol. This here is not just a bridezilla but she has all wondering how to navigate this mess without offending or hurting someone else when she the sole culprit shold be the one completely red faced for EVERYTHING. How proud is the FOTB now? This story taped to seat bottoms and an indicative speach? Gooz Fraba!
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