Woman Wears A White Dress For Her Birthday, Enrages Future SIL Whose Wedding Is In Two Weeks
It’s a common rule in many Western countries that wearing a white dress to a wedding is a huge faux pas. Unless the bride-to-be invites guests to don white gowns or specifies that she’ll be wearing another color, it’s best to steer clear of white, eggshell, off-white, cream and ivory.
But according to one bride, friends and family must start to avoid the color weeks before her special day. Below, you’ll find a saga that occurred after one woman had the audacity to wear a white dress to her own birthday party. Now, she’s reaching out to Reddit and wondering if she’s the cause of the subsequent family drama that ensued.
This woman wore a fabulous white gown to her 40th birthday party
Image credits: maxbelchenko (not the actual photo)
But not everyone loved the dress, as her soon-to-be sister-in-law took it as a personal attack
Image credits: [deleted]
Later, the woman shared a photo of the dress she wore to her birthday party
Image credits: cocoandlola.com
She also included a photo of the dress she planned on wearing to the wedding
Image credits: thereformation.com
Readers were quick to assure the woman she did nothing wrong, calling out her sister-in-law for being unreasonable
The woman also shared an update the next day, detailing her sister-in-law’s latest demands
Image credits: voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: [deleted]
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for a bride to develop a sense of entitlement as her wedding approaches
There’s no question that planning a wedding is stressful. There can be a million moving pieces to coordinate, tens of thousands of dollars in costs, dozens of guests to invite and pressure to ensure that it’s the happiest day of the bride and groom’s life. A whopping 96% of engaged couples admit that wedding planning is stressful, and along with stress often comes less than perfect behavior.
And while the term “bridezilla” can be a bit cruel and unfair to brides who simply want their days to be magical, there are some brides-to-be who need a friendly reminder to be kind and considerate while wedding planning, or no one will be excited to attend the big event anyway. Afa Rose explains on their site that unreasonable brides often have unrealistic expectations, develop a sense of entitlement, are closed-minded, have a habit of micromanaging, and aren’t great at regulating their stress.
But thankfully, there are ways to combat turning into a bride whose friends and family members dread attending their wedding. The White Sparrow Barn recommends that brides focus on what really matters and avoid sweating the small stuff. Taking deep breaths can always be helpful, and brides shouldn’t be afraid to delegate tasks to allow themselves some free time. Having a sense of humor and focusing on enjoying the journey is also wise, as you’ll hopefully only be getting married once.
Uninviting guests from a wedding is never ideal, but sometimes it is necessary
While wedding planning doesn’t always go according to plan, there may come a time when a bride and groom-to-be decide to uninvite certain guests from their celebration. But contrary to what the bride in this story may believe, this does not need to be done in a dramatic and hurtful way. While it may cause some tension, The Knot notes on their site that there are sometimes valid reasons for bringing this bad news to potential guests.
Attendees may sometimes need to be uninvited due to a disaster, such as the COVID-19 pandemic. If it’s a risk for more guests, or older guests, to attend, it might be worth it to cut down on the guest list. Bride & Groom Direct also notes that guests may lose their invitations after displaying toxic behavior, having a falling out with the couple, if they may cause drama at the wedding, or if the couple suddenly hits a financial rough patch where they can no longer afford as many attendees.
When it comes to informing a guest of your decision to uninvite them, The Knot recommends meeting with them in person to explain the situation and choosing words very carefully to try to salvage the relationship. And to prevent this altogether, it’s wise for brides and grooms to be particular about who gets an invitation in the first place; it’s better to add guests later on than to have to subtract.
Family drama can be difficult to avoid while wedding planning
The whole dress debacle that this woman detailed on Reddit snowballed into quite the dramatic saga. But unfortunately, it’s quite common for weddings and wedding planning to create conflicts within families. According to Stephen J. Betchen, DSW, some of the most common causes of family drama at weddings are the fact that change is happening, family members feeling a sense of loss, guilt, anger, envy and/or ambivalence.
And while it can be challenging to avoid all conflicts during a wedding, it’s important to remember that the occasion is supposed to be all about celebrating love. And you’re likely to have some regrets if your special day becomes overshadowed by bitterness.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Have you ever dealt with family drama like this surrounding a wedding? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article, we recommend reading this one discussing a teen who was uninvited from her own father’s wedding.
Again, readers called out the bride for creating unnecessary drama
FSIL is off the dāmn rails! I would block them on everything and live my life in peace. OP's husband can deal with his wedding invite and then decide how he wants to proceed from there. OP is clearly NTA.
Load More Replies...
Some of these are really wild rides. There was another where a future bride tried to prohibit her family & friends from having weddings for the entire calendar year of her wedding. Another tried to prohibit people from vacationing in her wedding destination in the same way: nobody could vacation in Hawaii.
Hahaha that’s awesome. The sense of entitlement is strong!!
Load More Replies...
This is insane. "Even though you now decided to no longer attend my wedding because of the my ridiculousness, you still HAVE to show me what dress you were going to wear or your husband can no longer attend either." W.T.F. Not attending for both OP and her husband sounds like a godsend and they should bow out of that toxicity entirely. OP has no connection with either BIL nor FSIL so if OP's husband still wants to have a relationship I can do so alone (he also seems supportive of OP). OP should absolutely go no contact. Life is too short for their b******t.
Sigh, it's all very silly really. Once people wore a nice dress of any colour, then Queen Victoria wore a white one, thus began the fashion. It doesn't even suit a lot of people. Many end up looking like the Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters.
Nah. This marriage won't last long, so no point in attending. Husband should pass on wedding, but instead take his wife out for a romantic evening with her wearing the dress she bought for the wedding. They can have their photo taken and then share them with FSIL, who did, after all, insist on seeing pics of the dress
Husband should pass on wedding, but instead take his wife out for a romantic evening… at the same venue. 😂
Load More Replies...
This woman doesn't just sound like a Bridezilla. She sounds a bit unstable to me. To continue this stupid argument when OP bowed out of the wedding is insane. Could this woman be trying to drive a wedge between the brothers for some reason? The whole thing makes no sense.
You’re suggesting that she’s not off-kilter because of the wedding but because she’s a bad person?
Load More Replies... Read fsil as f*****g sister in law but after realising it stands for future sis in law - think my misinterpretation was right!
Some people really do believe that the entire universe revolves around them! WTAF? If wearing a white dress for my own birthday party 2 weeks before the future SIL’s wedding had caused this reaction towards me I would have agreed to show her my dress for her wedding. After she sent me photos of the outfits being worn by the other 269 wedding guests on the night of my birthday. I can pretty much guarantee there would be around 37 blokes wearing white t-shirts or shirts, 4 white dresses, 13 white blouses and 11 pairs of white trousers if it was a weekend. The white shirt count would increase a lot if it was a work day.
Im really curious - what is driving these trends? It feels like a wave - is there a wedding subculture or some wedding ‘guru’/‘influencer’ that are promoting these expectations?
Society in general is becoming more selfish and more entitled. I really don't know why, but there's a trend towards thinking "I'm the centre of the universe and the rest of the eight thousand million people on the planet revolve around me, my whims and my needs. Nothing else matters". It's a worldwide trend, and it won't end well. People really scare me more than anything else. Social media don't help, either, because they multiply idiocy one million times. In the past, this behaviour was not tolerated, unless you were the queen or something like that, but now every imbecile in the world shares their toxicity with the universe shamelessly, and unfortunately entitlement is more contagious then any virus.
Load More Replies...
Isn't what you wear on your birthday supposed to draw attention? Well, I doubt whatever OP wore would be acceptable to her. She could wear bland clothes, and still be accused of stealing attention.
I'm surprised FSIL wanted to have a wedding so close to OPs birthday.
Load More Replies...
For filth like that.. sometimes the best solution is the public one. Tell her you wont attend and best of luck but wouldn't enjoy being around such a petty, sad, jealous person. Post the entire conversation on FB, tiktok, Twitter (always twitter to me, screw you elon you child) post it all and tag the whole family and every guest you can Go scorched earth .
I truly truly truly hope she, or a family member or a guest sees this and she reads all the comments about what a psychotic Bridezella she’s acting like and for her to know we’re all laughing at how pathetic she’s being, right before the wedding, it will hands down ruining the whole thing for her & how she’s the only one to blame that we’re laughing & calling her a psychotic b***h. I’ve never wished I had an email address so bad in my life.
If it helps the latest update to this makes the story much less believable.
Load More Replies... Wait, so how was it resolved? Did the brother get disinvited? Did he attend, or just not go? Did I miss the ending somewhere?
I think op and her husband should go on a nice trip somewhere the same weekend the wedding is. It doesn't sound to me like the FSIL will back off on her demands to see the dress so op's husband may be uninvited anyways. Perhaps they should bring BIL with them on the trip? Or op's husband should, if he's re-invited to the wedding, go to the wedding wearing that black dress in whatever way he can sqeeze it on. The bride will be upset by this and he can say that if she'd only invited OP then SHE would have been wearing the dress and the drama would be less .... well, dramatic. It'd be a petty thing to do but also fun, imo. Also, I'm wondering why the BIL is not putting his foot down on this. I mean... he is letting himself be pushed about by his future wife who is about half his age? I suspect the marriage will end in a quick divorce. I give it 6-12 months. Lol.
OP’s white dress is a kind of silvery white and bedazzled, and looks absolutely nothing like a wedding gown. SIL is insane.
Your party, you choose the dress. If I were you, I would neither go to or send a gift to that wedding. The drama has just begun and you might be better off avoiding it.
Tell your BIL to dump this girl and run for the hills, she's gonna totally f**k up his life
I really don't understand this whole crazyness about marriage in the US. Yeah 'cause in Belgium, marriage is usually more tame. Some don't even pass through the Church and are settled before the bourgmestre (I suppose it's the equivalent of the mayor? Not sure....) followed by a reception with family 😊 correct me if I'm wrong but the "not wearing white" isn't even a thing as long as it's not a wedding dress.... And a bridezilla would quickly be scold and put down a notch or two. The wedding day is about the newly weds... Like they're in their own little bubble and the others don't ping their radars.
Someone tell BIL this is the sign he needs that his fiance is a psychopath and should be dumped immediately.
I'd warn the hubby first then send a picture of a clown costume. Then immediately send a second text apologizing for choosing the same thing she'd be wearing. If you're gonna go, you might as well go nuclear.
I don't get people behaving this way. It reminds me of a toddler throwing a tantrum. Not that I'm ever getting married again, but if I did, I'd invite everyone to wear the outfits they wore at their wedding. Let's all celebrate our love together. The party would be lit.
Wait... so now OP's refusing to attend, but hubby is disinvited to his brother's wedding, unless FSIL gets to approve the dress OP would have worn but won't because she's not planning to attend. The drama is insane. I hope someone sends a link to BIL's ex so she can laugh her a*s off at the fuckery he's signed up for.
“And on our next episode of future divorces” FSIl is seriously insecure and fixated on this woman.
I can't even begin to explain everything that's wrong here. NTA! You and your husband are the only sane ones here!
FSIL sounds batshit crazy. OP is definitely not TA. Though normally I would frown upon wearing black to a wedding, I would make an exception for this bridezilla, if I bothered to turn up at all.
I think some people have too few real worries in life, so their brains collapse due to boredom and lack of purposeful aims and they suddenly come up this kind of absolutely crazy demands. Also, the people around them is partly at fault, because they pay attention to them. "No" is a complete sentence. No need to argue, explain, beg or fight. Just "no". If they behave like spoilt children they should be treated like spoilt children. The more attention you pay to them, the more important they feel, and the bigger the entitlement.
The latest update on this I am afraid took this into the realms of fiction.
I always send a picture of my dress to the bride for approval.. Just to be sure. I would have sent one, just to be the bigger person. The white dress on your birthday is BS. It's your day!
Why? You don't need the bride's "approval"! For f*ck's sake!!! It's just a wedding. They have not been designated Master of the Universe. If somebody asked me to send a picture of my outfit for approval I wouldn't attend the ceremony. Unless I'm the bridesmaid, which I will never, ever be, or if it is an extremely formal event with complex protocol. In every other case, I'll wear what I want. It's high time we started setting boundaries. There are attitudes I won't put up with, from anybody.
Load More Replies...
Excuse me??? The world doesn't revolve around the bride, however important she thinks she is. For her it might be the most important day in her life or any similar s**t, but honestly the rest of us couldn't care less about her wedding and her entitlement. Perhaps if people started to refuse to put up with s**t and declined attending a wedding at the slightest sign of entitlement or nonsense, this trend would vanish. Nobody would "gloss over it" because other people have their own lives to live.
Load More Replies... FSIL is off the dāmn rails! I would block them on everything and live my life in peace. OP's husband can deal with his wedding invite and then decide how he wants to proceed from there. OP is clearly NTA.
Load More Replies... Some of these are really wild rides. There was another where a future bride tried to prohibit her family & friends from having weddings for the entire calendar year of her wedding. Another tried to prohibit people from vacationing in her wedding destination in the same way: nobody could vacation in Hawaii.
Hahaha that’s awesome. The sense of entitlement is strong!!
Load More Replies... This is insane. "Even though you now decided to no longer attend my wedding because of the my ridiculousness, you still HAVE to show me what dress you were going to wear or your husband can no longer attend either." W.T.F. Not attending for both OP and her husband sounds like a godsend and they should bow out of that toxicity entirely. OP has no connection with either BIL nor FSIL so if OP's husband still wants to have a relationship I can do so alone (he also seems supportive of OP). OP should absolutely go no contact. Life is too short for their b******t.
Sigh, it's all very silly really. Once people wore a nice dress of any colour, then Queen Victoria wore a white one, thus began the fashion. It doesn't even suit a lot of people. Many end up looking like the Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters.
Nah. This marriage won't last long, so no point in attending. Husband should pass on wedding, but instead take his wife out for a romantic evening with her wearing the dress she bought for the wedding. They can have their photo taken and then share them with FSIL, who did, after all, insist on seeing pics of the dress
Husband should pass on wedding, but instead take his wife out for a romantic evening… at the same venue. 😂
Load More Replies... This woman doesn't just sound like a Bridezilla. She sounds a bit unstable to me. To continue this stupid argument when OP bowed out of the wedding is insane. Could this woman be trying to drive a wedge between the brothers for some reason? The whole thing makes no sense.
You’re suggesting that she’s not off-kilter because of the wedding but because she’s a bad person?
Load More Replies... Read fsil as f*****g sister in law but after realising it stands for future sis in law - think my misinterpretation was right!
Some people really do believe that the entire universe revolves around them! WTAF? If wearing a white dress for my own birthday party 2 weeks before the future SIL’s wedding had caused this reaction towards me I would have agreed to show her my dress for her wedding. After she sent me photos of the outfits being worn by the other 269 wedding guests on the night of my birthday. I can pretty much guarantee there would be around 37 blokes wearing white t-shirts or shirts, 4 white dresses, 13 white blouses and 11 pairs of white trousers if it was a weekend. The white shirt count would increase a lot if it was a work day.
Im really curious - what is driving these trends? It feels like a wave - is there a wedding subculture or some wedding ‘guru’/‘influencer’ that are promoting these expectations?
Society in general is becoming more selfish and more entitled. I really don't know why, but there's a trend towards thinking "I'm the centre of the universe and the rest of the eight thousand million people on the planet revolve around me, my whims and my needs. Nothing else matters". It's a worldwide trend, and it won't end well. People really scare me more than anything else. Social media don't help, either, because they multiply idiocy one million times. In the past, this behaviour was not tolerated, unless you were the queen or something like that, but now every imbecile in the world shares their toxicity with the universe shamelessly, and unfortunately entitlement is more contagious then any virus.
Load More Replies... Isn't what you wear on your birthday supposed to draw attention? Well, I doubt whatever OP wore would be acceptable to her. She could wear bland clothes, and still be accused of stealing attention.
I'm surprised FSIL wanted to have a wedding so close to OPs birthday.
Load More Replies... For filth like that.. sometimes the best solution is the public one. Tell her you wont attend and best of luck but wouldn't enjoy being around such a petty, sad, jealous person. Post the entire conversation on FB, tiktok, Twitter (always twitter to me, screw you elon you child) post it all and tag the whole family and every guest you can Go scorched earth .
I truly truly truly hope she, or a family member or a guest sees this and she reads all the comments about what a psychotic Bridezella she’s acting like and for her to know we’re all laughing at how pathetic she’s being, right before the wedding, it will hands down ruining the whole thing for her & how she’s the only one to blame that we’re laughing & calling her a psychotic b***h. I’ve never wished I had an email address so bad in my life.
If it helps the latest update to this makes the story much less believable.
Load More Replies... Wait, so how was it resolved? Did the brother get disinvited? Did he attend, or just not go? Did I miss the ending somewhere?
I think op and her husband should go on a nice trip somewhere the same weekend the wedding is. It doesn't sound to me like the FSIL will back off on her demands to see the dress so op's husband may be uninvited anyways. Perhaps they should bring BIL with them on the trip? Or op's husband should, if he's re-invited to the wedding, go to the wedding wearing that black dress in whatever way he can sqeeze it on. The bride will be upset by this and he can say that if she'd only invited OP then SHE would have been wearing the dress and the drama would be less .... well, dramatic. It'd be a petty thing to do but also fun, imo. Also, I'm wondering why the BIL is not putting his foot down on this. I mean... he is letting himself be pushed about by his future wife who is about half his age? I suspect the marriage will end in a quick divorce. I give it 6-12 months. Lol.
OP’s white dress is a kind of silvery white and bedazzled, and looks absolutely nothing like a wedding gown. SIL is insane.
Your party, you choose the dress. If I were you, I would neither go to or send a gift to that wedding. The drama has just begun and you might be better off avoiding it.
Tell your BIL to dump this girl and run for the hills, she's gonna totally f**k up his life
I really don't understand this whole crazyness about marriage in the US. Yeah 'cause in Belgium, marriage is usually more tame. Some don't even pass through the Church and are settled before the bourgmestre (I suppose it's the equivalent of the mayor? Not sure....) followed by a reception with family 😊 correct me if I'm wrong but the "not wearing white" isn't even a thing as long as it's not a wedding dress.... And a bridezilla would quickly be scold and put down a notch or two. The wedding day is about the newly weds... Like they're in their own little bubble and the others don't ping their radars.
Someone tell BIL this is the sign he needs that his fiance is a psychopath and should be dumped immediately.
I'd warn the hubby first then send a picture of a clown costume. Then immediately send a second text apologizing for choosing the same thing she'd be wearing. If you're gonna go, you might as well go nuclear.
I don't get people behaving this way. It reminds me of a toddler throwing a tantrum. Not that I'm ever getting married again, but if I did, I'd invite everyone to wear the outfits they wore at their wedding. Let's all celebrate our love together. The party would be lit.
Wait... so now OP's refusing to attend, but hubby is disinvited to his brother's wedding, unless FSIL gets to approve the dress OP would have worn but won't because she's not planning to attend. The drama is insane. I hope someone sends a link to BIL's ex so she can laugh her a*s off at the fuckery he's signed up for.
“And on our next episode of future divorces” FSIl is seriously insecure and fixated on this woman.
I can't even begin to explain everything that's wrong here. NTA! You and your husband are the only sane ones here!
FSIL sounds batshit crazy. OP is definitely not TA. Though normally I would frown upon wearing black to a wedding, I would make an exception for this bridezilla, if I bothered to turn up at all.
I think some people have too few real worries in life, so their brains collapse due to boredom and lack of purposeful aims and they suddenly come up this kind of absolutely crazy demands. Also, the people around them is partly at fault, because they pay attention to them. "No" is a complete sentence. No need to argue, explain, beg or fight. Just "no". If they behave like spoilt children they should be treated like spoilt children. The more attention you pay to them, the more important they feel, and the bigger the entitlement.
The latest update on this I am afraid took this into the realms of fiction.
I always send a picture of my dress to the bride for approval.. Just to be sure. I would have sent one, just to be the bigger person. The white dress on your birthday is BS. It's your day!
Why? You don't need the bride's "approval"! For f*ck's sake!!! It's just a wedding. They have not been designated Master of the Universe. If somebody asked me to send a picture of my outfit for approval I wouldn't attend the ceremony. Unless I'm the bridesmaid, which I will never, ever be, or if it is an extremely formal event with complex protocol. In every other case, I'll wear what I want. It's high time we started setting boundaries. There are attitudes I won't put up with, from anybody.
Load More Replies... Excuse me??? The world doesn't revolve around the bride, however important she thinks she is. For her it might be the most important day in her life or any similar s**t, but honestly the rest of us couldn't care less about her wedding and her entitlement. Perhaps if people started to refuse to put up with s**t and declined attending a wedding at the slightest sign of entitlement or nonsense, this trend would vanish. Nobody would "gloss over it" because other people have their own lives to live.
Load More Replies...
91
95