50 Times People Dropped A Sentence That Probably No One Has Ever Thought Of Before, As Shared In This Group
People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.
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Name That Death Megatron 300
We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge
My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.
As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.
In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.
Griefcase
I Do Not Vibe With This Soil
I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.
Soak It In Olive Oil
r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay
He’s My Biological Dog
Brad And His Cloud Of Lies
Marked Slices Of Tree
I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.
People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.
The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.
No No, He's Got A Point
Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?
Lesbians To The Rescue
We Drove Out The Lubrication
How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?
Happens To The Best Of Us
Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars
“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”
Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe
A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip
Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You
The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.
The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now
I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.
“Festering...”
I Am Chorizo
Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World
Floppy Discs
Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really
World Changer
“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”
I had a bad feeling about Dave all along! I KNEW it!
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Dammit, Dave! Do you know how expensive those windmills were? Now we have to move on to Plan B. Load the Queer Sprinkles into the crop duster and let’s be off!
Is that why it smells so good in here now? Like fresh-baked cookies and rain during a sun shower. .
Did we mess up? It should smell like boba ramen and iced coffee in a heavenly candle scent
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You know the punishment for revealing any part of the Gay Agenda, Dave. Prepare to have your Judy Garland albums ritually burned!
WE'VE KEPT IT A SECRET FOR SO LONG DAVE JUST A LITTLE GODDAMN LONGER WOULDN'T BE THAT HARD
Dave, not again! First you told them about the water, now you told them about the windmills!
you guys I tried to warn you about dave but noo you just wouldn't listen
Dammit Dave! I swear, can't keep your frickin mouth closed can you?
Why did this make me think of this "Emu's All Live Pink Windmill Show" Grotbags for the win!
Dave really needs to stop telling people our gay agenda. This is the third time this month we've had to change it. Thanks Dave.
Welp if that were true their world domination isn't going so well. Stupid Dave.
THEY ARE NOT WINDMILLS. THEY DO NOT MILL. They are wind turbines, to create electricity.
We dropped our entry standards for a few months and now we have to deal with Milo Yiannopoulos until we figure out how to excommunicate members without too much fallout. Crop-dusting randos? No, hunty. Never.
Is this why Trump was so afraid of them? I thought it was because he thought they gave people cancer?
I don’t think so! If you think you can catch gay! Your a special kind of moron!! My only issue with “gays” is they high jack the rainbow! I like rainbows, but I’m not gay! Lol
I think it was Dorothy. They're all just... FRIENDS with her somehow. Is she secretly the kompromat queen of queen kompromat? /s
I hope this info scares the s**t out of the stupid haters trying so hard to sound smarter than a peace of paper 😂😂
that is probably the stupidest thing I've ever read... which right-wing religious nut came up with that??? it wasn't Dave...
Mhm, yes yes. I totally know what this comment says. Mhm… ah yes so true /s
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Why Dave I can't believe you, at least Charles could keep his mouth shut this time.
It’s rainbow coloured and smells like unicorns :) Just watch the glitter, that sh*t will get everywhere!
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I really need to redecorate so I could use some Homosexual Mists in here!
If windmills are wafting anything into anyone's home it's gonna be the bloodied bits of the birds they shred to pieces
The windmills near my house have been painted green so birds can spot them better.
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Crotch Fruit Employees
Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?
“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”
Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!
Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?
Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind
Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated
Two Mini Hellpanthers
The Eyebrow Spectrum
Smoked Myself Back To Segregation
Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.
Julius In The Coolius
You Are One Of My Sims
Wiggles Concert
why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway
Whatever Works
Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week
Anon Knows The English Language
Cyberbullied And Entire Studio
LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal
Cool Sport Rush
Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something
One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert
Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have
I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"
Life Pro Tip
PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value
Snarrot
Florida Going To Feel This One For A While
If You Don't Find Waldo He's Gonna Stab You
Huh?
Not A Squirrel
Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank
"Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"
American Horse Pirates
“Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”
Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle
Some Day
Birds
Cursed Kebab
Magic Skeleton
I Love Biology Facts
The Wet World Is A Bad Place
He Should At Least Be Vibing
A Guy Ate A Bat And Now I Am Unemployed
Steve Irwin’s Wario
Mainstream Consonants Ugh
Escape Proof Wiener Bun
Can you imagine this little cutie running off to grab his hotdog bun because he knows he needs it to go outside? Middle of the night "Mom I gotta potty!" *drops costume on your face* OMG that's adorable!
Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist
When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees
We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise
Great, Whimsical Little Flying Blisters Of Plague
Perks Of Being An Immortal Being
“Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”
It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks
Gay Insider Trading
Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things
Your burgeoning existential crisis has moved me. Go forth and meltify.
"Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"
I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet
Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt
In The History Of Children
And yet it turns out children have been about 10000% better at following the rules and minimizing the spread of covid than adults.
“A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”
Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby
Jenga Tower Of Blood
Virtual Cowboy
Scared Horse. I Am Shooketh
Dog Villains
The one in purple is the meanest one, and she is the big sister of the other one who is less evil but who obeys because he is wary of her.
Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?
Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable
I worked at a restaurant and DMX came in one day and bought a Heineken and a burger I personally cooked for him and he ordered another one to go and gave me a hug so I guess he liked it lol. He was very nice and yes I kept that beer bottle! RIP my friend!
Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons
That Good Ol Southern Drawl
My Fart Is On The Floor
A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community
Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death
And then you have the honey badger - mostly in Africa - who scares lions.
Very Specific
How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans
Horseback Jesus
Primitive Urges
I have a pond with tadpoles in my backyard... I am having weird urges right now...
Yogurt
Hmmm Yes
Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him
My Elementary School Locker Combination
Wrestling With A Bobcat
Like having to pee when you've been swimming- pulling up the ole one piece is torture
Emergency Hotdog
It’s Time To Kill Space
He Ain't Wrong
If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?
Moon’s Haunted
Hottie Hot Take
Where do the multitaskers go? I suppose if we adopted your new system they could commandeer the specially-marked mandatory trans bathrooms in Alabama, but that's too far to drive for most of us.
Get Down Jeezy Boy
Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend
Well That’s A Pivot
Circumcise Me, Captain!
Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will
Luigi was only necessary for Waluigi's generation. Now the ritual is complete.
Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest
See Ya Later
Makeup Brand New Lexicon
When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?
Don’t Be A Fool
Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama
Being Medium Ugly Is Lit
boyfriend told me "You're not beautiful, but your cute. That's great! Beauty fades, but cute is forever."
Y'all Ever Just...
Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us
Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me
Icy
This Scholarly Film Reviewer
Checkmate, Aethiesm
I Want To Move To New Jersey
"So Thor is the bastard lovechild of Professor McGonagall and France?" Yes, I actually said that once. No, I will not tell you the context.
This literally made my night I was laughing way too hard at some lol
Why do they call people who report on the weather meteorologists when they are reporting on the climate, shouldn’t they be climatologist? And Meteorologists should study and report on meteors? No, really.
Podologists don't study poodles, but orthodontists ARE awful dentists, so perhaps this phoneticism has potential.
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Back in the late 90's and early aughts everyone was buying desktops computers, but to get on the internet it had to go through your phone line and it was long and unreliable. Many people just used their computer to play solitaire. It was a $2,000 dollar deck of cards. People also used to wear wrist watches, they were modern and a quick reliable way to tell time. Now if you ask someone for the time, they reach in their pocket and pull out their cell phone. So we are now to the time before wrist watches and back to pocket watches.
My wife kept sticking her head around the door, saying, "What are you laughing at now?"
I just learned something: if you suck in an empty yogurt tube in the correct way with a gap between your two front teeth it makes cool sounds that kinda sound like if rewinding a tv show had sounds that went the same speed as the rewind.
Where are the rest of the images? Just separate them into multiple posts if need be.
@ 115: Pee & poop toilets sounds good, but hey sometimes you go to pee and when you sit down your bunghole says, "Well while you're here..."
"So Thor is the bastard lovechild of Professor McGonagall and France?" Yes, I actually said that once. No, I will not tell you the context.
This literally made my night I was laughing way too hard at some lol
Why do they call people who report on the weather meteorologists when they are reporting on the climate, shouldn’t they be climatologist? And Meteorologists should study and report on meteors? No, really.
Podologists don't study poodles, but orthodontists ARE awful dentists, so perhaps this phoneticism has potential.
Load More Replies... Back in the late 90's and early aughts everyone was buying desktops computers, but to get on the internet it had to go through your phone line and it was long and unreliable. Many people just used their computer to play solitaire. It was a $2,000 dollar deck of cards. People also used to wear wrist watches, they were modern and a quick reliable way to tell time. Now if you ask someone for the time, they reach in their pocket and pull out their cell phone. So we are now to the time before wrist watches and back to pocket watches.
My wife kept sticking her head around the door, saying, "What are you laughing at now?"
I just learned something: if you suck in an empty yogurt tube in the correct way with a gap between your two front teeth it makes cool sounds that kinda sound like if rewinding a tv show had sounds that went the same speed as the rewind.
Where are the rest of the images? Just separate them into multiple posts if need be.
@ 115: Pee & poop toilets sounds good, but hey sometimes you go to pee and when you sit down your bunghole says, "Well while you're here..."
