ADVERTISEMENT

People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

Flowers
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a former meteorologist I wholeheartedly agree!

Centu Rionick
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've been taught that they are always given women's names because when they come they are wet and steamy and when they leave they take your car and house.

Load More Replies...
surprised pikachu
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would PAY to see the weather channel people say "hurricane death megatron 3000"

CalicoKitty
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, this was started by a guy who decided to name severe storms after people he didn't like and honestly I think we should bring that back.

Nameless 4
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course, we all know there's gonna be at least one guy in Florida who this he's Optimus Prime incarnate and try to fight the hurricane

Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sooner or later, all regular names would be used, so they might be starting to use pet names: "Fluffy is heading for the Gulf of Mexico"

Shinomi Chan
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apocslypse Bringer, The 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse "Doom", Angel-Maker, Satan's Playmate, Crucifixion of Life, The Morgue, Karen-5000, All good names for a Hurricane I'd say.

Alex Boomhower
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im not about to be scared by jenna coming my way, does she want a cocktail?

H Edwards
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, you joke, but there is evidence suggesting that hurricanes or storms with female names are taken less seriously.

Load More Replies...
tuzdayschild
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you're on to something there.

Sabrena Patterson
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be #1. I'm from Louisiana. Nuff said?

View more comments
RELATED:
    #2

    We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

    We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

    benphillip Report

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

    Charity Amante
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me and my children will outlast the apocalypse and dwell with the cockroaches thanks to our hobbit-like builds and sugar hoarding bodies. We will repopulate the earth!!! (With other teletubby bodied people, not each other)

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a real thing : survival of the fittest (fattest, lol). For millenia of scarcity, the ones who tended to gain weight survived adn transmitted their advantageous genes to the next generation while the skinny ones died. Now, most people have fat genes but no famine anymore, so the skinny ones are now more adapted. That's called "mismatch". Revenge of the skeletons.

    Otter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup! When I diet, my northern European peasant DNA goes "Oh, crops failed again? No worries! We'll keep all the fat cells robust enough to get you through a year or two of famine!".

    Aroha
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my country people needed to be plump to survive the 9-month winter, especially since crops failed often. Also they needed to be short because it is easier to pick potatoes that way. I am genetically 100% from this country... Lucky me 😅.

    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, that's my problem. My grandmother was from Scotland, so......maybe?

    Elizabeth Tunney
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My bro will eat chips, cookies, and candy, AND a dinner. He never gains weight. Me, I eat a slice of pizza and gain at least 2-3 pounds. We both exercise the same amount. I guess I unluckily inherited my dads metabolism... and at least he understands

    Moo Moo Futch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This made me laugh so much. I read it in both Irish and Scottish accents.

    View more comments

    As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

    In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #3

    Griefcase

    Griefcase

    malonza_muli Report

    Des
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i like ''griefcase'' better

    Sue Simmons
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brilliant. Griefcase. Love it. 10 /10.

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you're right, you're right.

    Requiem
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you cant fit that much in a griefcase

    Alditekim
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes and also change good grief to good baggage :D

    IFXO
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Ma'am why are you at the conveyor belt I thought you didn't send baggage?? sorry no, I thought I sent my griefcase!

    California Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Courtney C*x once called it "Junk In The Trunk", because that makes sense.

    View more comments
    #4

    I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

    I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

    meme_mayezster Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

    Elizabeth Tunney
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve found out that my house has a fake garden. There’s soil, but concrete two feet under the soil. I couldn’t grow anything, and thought I just had a black thumb, so my mom and I gave up planting. Until a month ago we restarted planting

    Load More Replies...
    Tiny Dog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hung a bird feeder from my apple tree years ago, and the birds kept spilling the sunflower seeds. Fast-forward five years later, there is a wall of sunflowers along my fence, and another wall between the sidewalk and the street. In the summer, people walking down my sidewalk have to pass through the Great Sunflower Tunnel.

    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My father was a skilled gardener. He used to say that plants like to be challenged : they give their best when they feel their survival is at stake. It makes sense, somehow, but not always. I think the real difference between wild plants and cultivated plants is that in nature you only see survivors : the seeds with the best genes which allowed them to succeed against all odds, whereas cultivated plants are just like spoiled little brats. You find them in the store completely doped with fertilizers, merchandised to look healthy and attractive, and you bring them back home, committed to treat them the best you can - but you're just submitting them to severe withdrawal, and most likely, decline and death, unless you go back to the store to buy more of their expensive drugs for them.

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's sadly similar to dogs and cats from puppy-mills.

    Load More Replies...
    Ash Trash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a certified plant i also so not vibe with the soil.

    Alexandra Nara
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad just let everything find its own place in his garden...There are flowers amongst the berries..Basil and sage along the ways and mints by the pond. He got frogs and dragonflies - keeping snails away from the plants by feeding them rotten salad-a wholesome biotop- and the best tomatoes/zucchini etc. Neighbours don't like the chaos but appreciate his delicious legumes and fruits every time. He's got a green heart not only a green thumb and everytime someone ask for his secret he says:" everything got its place where its welcome and there it will grow best." Bad luck me- I'm not even half as talented but his sentence about growth is still on of my favorite lifelessons

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess the plants you can buy are like over bred animals. They are more prone to decease and need extra care and special nourishment. But wild plants can grow wherever they fit. I tried to get rid of some old strawberry plants last year... they are back where they were before and I just roll with it. More strawberries for us lol

    Smelli Mel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God was killed here. Lmao 🤣

    lara
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I solved this in my yard vis a vis weeds. If it is green, it is grass, there you go.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    Soak It In Olive Oil

    Soak It In Olive Oil

    2Apples3 Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sad thing is that they will never get to the olive oil part.

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well it's gonna hurt without the olive oil.

    Load More Replies...
    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    work to live not live to work , you want me working after 6 pay me it's that simple

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a waste of good olive oil! Do not offend my culture like this! (Kidding, but olive oil is precious indeed)

    Springy boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just use Canola Oil or lube to fit it up their butt

    Load More Replies...
    Cupcake168
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can fold paper of any size a max of 7 times.

    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I learned this factoid as a kid and I haven't entirely stopped trying to reach 8. Every so often I'm like, "Wait! What if I did *this* to the paper first?!" It never works.

    Load More Replies...
    Ras Par
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I respect the author of this answer on so many levels... Poetry, narration, sarcasm, wit.

    Julie C Rose
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m guessing they don’t pay their employees for overtime either.

    ThymeGarden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soaked in olive oil? Nah. Sriracha or Tobasco please.

    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Slave owner mentality is never really far away. "I hired these people, their whole lifetime is mine now".

    Diane Herman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a boss like that once. I told him I work to live... not live to work. Then i asked him when he is on is deathbed will he wish he spent more time with his family or more time at work? He got the point.

    View more comments

    r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

    #6

    He’s My Biological Dog

    He’s My Biological Dog

    Gooooats Report

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm gonna use this with my cat. Lol

    Markus Holstein
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Is that your dog?" "No, he's adopted. My wife and I can't have dogs of our own"

    John C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say that I "got him used" - that always draws either laughs or stares, then I know who I'll get along with in the group.

    Requiem
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adopting and buying are different

    Laura Deckers
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I was going to say. Adopt from a shelter, or buy from a breeder. LLAP

    Load More Replies...
    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always tell them yes because my wife and I were not able to conceive our dog naturally...

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That.... could have been part of the plot for Wolf Children ♡

    Lydia Dean-Melchior
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always refer to my dogs biological mom as "my dogs biological mom".

    Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom was a dog and my dad was a human and I came out human. That sounded very wrong forget anything i just said

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Shh!!! We don't want to tell him until he's old enough to understand!"

    View more comments
    #7

    Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

    Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

    doenerzwerg Report

    IFXO
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brad! I is disappointed in you...

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    disappointed that like me you aren't realizing the damage you're doing to yourself.

    Load More Replies...
    Mollie Mills
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His cloud of lies, I gotta remember that one

    bryguy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Robyn must be pretty happy now that flavor vape pods are banned in many areas

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Goddamn it Brad. Every single time.

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in Medical Records at my local Hospital. Recently, I could smell something that was so close to Vaping, I expected someone to be hiding between the shelves with an E-Cigarette Vape thing, But couldn't find anyone,. A few weeks later, I discovered it was the new ink/toner their machines are using. Silly me.

    View more comments
    #8

    Marked Slices Of Tree

    Marked Slices Of Tree

    KatieOldham Report

    I want cake
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

    Debbie Burton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How? :O How do you not picture what you are reading? I get emotionally attached to the people in the book.

    Load More Replies...
    Jody Brown
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a librarian. Secretly, I feel like a book pimp.

    HooowlAtTheMoon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean don't tell people that one of your hobbies is hallucinating while staring at a dead tree they'll probably think you're insane

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about like, the consistency of paperbacks? Dead tree, covered and surrounded by it's own brethren.

    あんぱんまん
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hhhhmmmm..... this is making me think alot...

    Adam C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone been watching too much MTV.

    Krazy Kat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How wonderful you can enjoy the words. How sad you can't see the story in your mind.

    Dianethe Dinosaur
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I read a book, I get the movie in my head for free. I love to read.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, which is why I rarely watch the film of the book.

    Load More Replies...
    Janus Sanders
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i love reading and this just makes me love it even more

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

    The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

    #9

    No No, He's Got A Point

    No No, He's Got A Point

    Adm1sty Report

    Friday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sex offenders should never be released.

    qwerty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. I know that there will be people who disagree, but no sex offender should ever be given a second chance.

    Load More Replies...
    222T111
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My neighbor was a nurse in Ohio at one of the prisons that house mostly sex offenders for 34 years. I asked her if she thinks they can be rehabilitated. With no pause she screamed “NO!” 32 years with the worst of the worst and she said she never met one she thought had a chance.

    Ria C.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably just get better at not being caught.

    Load More Replies...
    Alex K
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they make money without paying taxes, and government doesn't like competition

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the money does go back into the economy

    Load More Replies...
    Fluffy Griffin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only rapists I would consider worthy of a short sentence (or no sentence) would be the "statutory rape" that is between two consenting teenagers that are very close in age. (Like an 18 and 17 yo)

    Lillukka79
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That shouldn't even be listed as rape, makes me so bloodey angry.

    Load More Replies...
    IFXO
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    pablo the plug my god y'all are creative

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh that I could upvote you more than once

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All Rapists and Pedophiles should be put into one big deep pit, and leave them there. See what happens until they all die.

    Maria Wallace
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rapist and pedophiles should have their thumbs and big toe cut off

    Frankenfrog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't want either. Don't want a rapist and don't want someone who wrecks people's lives and put them in danger

    Vicki Perizzolo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sex offenders should be automatically neutered..

    View more comments
    #10

    Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

    Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

    ShinigamiDady Report

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Feels like its a toss up between russia and usa

    Load More Replies...
    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just when you think Florida couldn't get any more Florida, a 12 year old boy and a 14 year old girl got in a shootout with police after they broke into a house.

    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder which part of Florida is Florida's Florida.

    abn_gator
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    South FL without a doubt. There's an imaginary line splitting the state between Ocala and Orlando.

    Load More Replies...
    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so hurt by this. I thought we were friends.

    Liz the Wanderer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Florida is the new Mississippi. They are still the poorest, but Florida is the idiot capital.

    Load More Replies...
    Holes2Heaven
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The reason you hear about so many crazy crimes in Florida is because we don't have laws that hide any crimes, unlike the rest of the states

    Susan Williams
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is not enough money in the world to tempt me to live in FL. I did it for four years, once. Hurricanes, tornados, and extreme heat are not my idea of a great place to live.

    CantWeAllTry2GetAlong
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In our defense, there are so many people that move to Florida, real Floridians find these news reports just as alarming...

    View more comments
    #11

    Lesbians To The Rescue

    Lesbians To The Rescue

    cloddishThyme983 Report

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lesbians to the rescue. I'd watch that show

    Jillian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. This is what I aspire to be

    RoseTheMad
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too am the lesbian that saves cats. I have 3 atm, all are rescues, and all but one of my previous cats have been rescues. :)

    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The hero this city deserves.

    Laura Watts
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you not have a cape

    Moo Moo Futch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That should be "I'll get my cape" not coat!!

    Leslie Burleson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so damn funny . Weren't you wearing your Birkenstocks? Lmfao . That is really cute

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #12

    We Drove Out The Lubrication

    We Drove Out The Lubrication

    theredditanator Report

    Apachebathmat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some, it’s the same thing

    Axolotl King
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This goes hand in hand with the molasses flood that happened sometime in the 1900's somewhere in the us. It killed like 15-20 people I think

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never knew about that. Wow, interesting fact, thanks! An 8 m wave of sticky molasses ... a terrifying way to die.

    Load More Replies...
    RGNix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did the toilet paper crisis of 2020 happen? same thing.

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hahahaha. Also weirdly I had a butter crisis of 2011. There were four straight shopping trips where i was convinced we were out, so I bought more. I had butter until 2012 or 2013 I'm sure. lol

    brukernavn340
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically "smøren" isn't a word. "Smør" (butter) is a neuter gender noun, so the definite form should be "smøret". "Smøring" on the other hand means "lubrication" and can be either masculine (smøringen) or feminine (smøringa).

    Y T
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. It's not saying that. Sorry. Also, every f g Norwegian crossed the border to Sweden and stole our butter. May they burn in hell.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?

    How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?

    genius23sarcasm Report

    KJ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bitey McBiteface.

    IAmBored12
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you spelled it wrong. it’s actually northern thicc scaleyboi

    Saint Thomas
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry (not) to put on my scholar glasses, but most dinosaurs names come from Ancient Greek, not Latin. And their signification is not so far from the 2 (funny) made up names. The term "Dinosaur" itself means "Fear inspiring (deinos) Lizard (saûros).

    Sheila Stamey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the short armed. Big assasaurous Mean Sh#$

    Ash Trash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't believe you forgot about the Western Thicc Smoothboi.

    View more comments
    #14

    Happens To The Best Of Us

    Happens To The Best Of Us

    alicewetterlund Report

    McSydney
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of them are just separated

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some of them are widowed, however. Some holes cannot be fixed....

    Load More Replies...
    Sergio Bicerra
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    - "Mommy... where's daddy? - "He went to the laundromat, and never came back."

    IFXO
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    most of the time they are murdered by the washer so the other sock just moves on

    Raena Celis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A legitimate question, for sure

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She couldn't stand the smell.

    Ashbug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually blame the sock eating monster that lives in our washing machine

    Paul Aguilera
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    one mysteriously vanishes in the dryer and the murderous spouse is never caught

    View more comments
    #15

    Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars

    Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars

    orchid_breeder Report

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Admittedly this took me a couple tries to understand, don't judge me it's been a horrible week. However, once I got it I scrolled back up to upvote! You're my new best friend Johnny call me every 5 minutes. lmao

    Load More Replies...
    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A rebel at heart never grows old, not even during a pandemic

    Theblackcat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of a book I read to my younger cousin, gangsta granny 😆

    Melissa Peck
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This needs to be a Weird Al Yankovich song.

    WholesomeArmyweeb
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m not even mad… that’s incredible

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That grandma wasn't born a grandma. She must have had a wild youth.

    Danieletc
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #16

    “I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

    “I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

    Blackpanther786110 Report

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey! I've seen some cute heckin' goats during my time. Means you'd still be cute. AND, Dem horns!?

    SeaShell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the goats are offended

    sylvanticx
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i dreamt that i somehow got robert downey jr.'s phone number and called him with a friend at a wedding hosted at my summer camp. in the dream he appeared to despise me and only awnted to talk to my friend. rood.

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a dream last night where someone kept reading the various things on my t-shirts/etc in my backpack out loud, and that was a major issue for some odd reason. I was relieved when I woke up and that wasn't an issue at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Bonni Poch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww...I adore goats and they're pretty darn cute. Plus, they have rectangular pupils. How do you top that?

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the funniest I have heard of 🤣😂

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #17

    Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

    Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

    reddit.com Report

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mean our Petri dish that gets put away in a dark cupboard every night? I’m amazed, after the shitshow that was 2016 - 2020, that we weren’t dumped out, and the dish cleaned out to start again.

    Bob Belcher
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, it's just getting good. They want to see what happens next

    Load More Replies...
    Janus Sanders
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is random but i love op's pfp

    C. Peirce Terry
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And us creating space travel is us just trying to climb the sides of the container

    rightofopinion
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those are the holes poked in the universe letting God's glory shine through. Imagine being in heaven and living in that light and not being blinded by it but being wrapped up in it!!!!!!!!

    ChinmayGhule
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A container made by a Type 5 civilisation.

    View more comments
    #18

    A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

    A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

    highway_40 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's pretty much the basis of all comedy. But you know, whatever.

    Load More Replies...
    John Baker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't feel bad. If she has a brain the size of a chocolate chip, then in proportion to her size, her brain is bigger than yours.

    New Prometheus
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That lady is lovely and smart creature with brains matching her slim figure ❤️

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Their nests are the cutest little thing ever, so small but well crafted.

    Leslie Burleson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We've had the same family of swifts that come back every year to have babies . We leave their little mid nests up for them. Lol the first year there was only one family . The second year I came out one day and their was a nest across from it but it was like 1/2 the size. Only one of the adult birds lives in the nest. The other has a nest under the eaves

    Grungy Gecko
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is the cutest thing i have ever seen

    Laurie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    . I don't think it's self- deprecation. Rather, I believe, it's about acknowledging the true reflection in the mirror

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you can see your brain in the mirror your reflection really isn't your highest priority.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #19

    Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

    Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

    notsofancymum Report

    Gandalf the Pink
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

    H Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having had the above thought many times myself, thank you for the explanation. It does always feel like they are adding insult to injury.

    Load More Replies...
    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The way I cook, I'm lucky my kids didn't slap me every time I made them dinner.

    Tài Trần
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mosquitoes are dangerous. Their saliva carry dengue/malaria, and some other viruses or parasites. Soooo! I'm really not ok with them sucking my blood.

    I Just Changed My Name
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Baby, let your bug love flag fly and spread all the cool facts you've got in there

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kinda hate how they be making that IIIIiiiiii sound RIGHT. NEXT TO. YOUR. EAR.

    AnnaBanana
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's like water torture if you're trying to go to sleep!

    Load More Replies...
    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That skeeter spit, it’s the Komodo dragon saliva of the insect world and it will take you out

    Theblackcat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel your pain. I was actually given a drip bcz my mosquito bite swelled too much

    Lillukka79
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't even mind the itchy juice. If they'd just shut up I wouldn't even notice them.

    Mónica Elisabeth Sacco
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

    The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

    Matelord99 Report

    Alex the awful German
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

    Fidgets McGee
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks: love this kind of stuff, just downloaded the audio book...yeah nerd time...🤓

    Load More Replies...
    Amy Dodds
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you're not actually hungry to eat all the leftovers, so now all you have is a sad little snack.

    I’m A Black Cat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also your brain half an hour later: you f*****g idiot

    Christopher Walkies
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Today is yesterday's tomorrow. Eat the pasta.

    Sakuhana
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the pasta-bilities ruined by our brain!

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want this as a license plate. For my bicycle. No, I'm Dutch.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #21

    “Festering...”

    “Festering...”

    Octo-bird Report

    J. F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember when politics where about what's best for the country, and not just a s*** throwing competition. Goes for every party

    LazyPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When? I recently read an article on America's first parties and they were still throwing the poos. Just didn't have social media to blow it up so fast and plummet the IQ so easily. But I suppose maybe politicians were still more poised and less shameless than these, even if the tactics aren't new

    Load More Replies...
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So do I. Believe it or not, both Nixon and Reagan would be considered liberals today. Hitler and Stalin, on the other hand, would be welcomed as bros.

    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I'm not sure about Reagan there. He was the one that got us into the whole trickle down economics debacle.

    Load More Replies...
    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is fantastic turn of phrase

    Marcia Cash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the 60's, Republicans and Democrats switched names when Kennedy stood up for civil rights. I was there. It was scary.

    Sharon Ingram
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Lol! What a crock. Dems have been saying this for years so you wouldn't KNOW they founded the KKK and voted 100% AGAINST civil rights.

    Load More Replies...
    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is unfortunately true. I changed my party to unaffiliated when I registered my truck last week. What has the party of Abe, Ike Teddy and Ronald turned into?

    Full Name
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ronald was pushing trickle down economics, the war on drugs, gay marriage was illegal, he fired the air traffic controllers on masse because of the strike, and they were censoring everything and talking about "the moral majority". So you'd rather have that than any Republican now?

    Load More Replies...
    _𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕔𝕠_𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕠_
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Festering fucktangle of seditious democracy-hating treason-weasles ❤

    Hannah M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so old I can remember when tolerance meant accepting people despite their different opinions instead of demonising, dehumanising, intentionally misrepresenting, and coming up with strings of insults for them.

    John Baker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never been tolerant enough to accept traitors who try to overthrow my legally elected government. Sorry.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #22

    I Am Chorizo

    I Am Chorizo

    kevinowdziej Report

    witchling
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually choked on my own spit laughing at this one.

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If that's of any value to you, you're not the only one, lol.

    Load More Replies...
    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It actually says "i am vegetarian chorizo" if you include the green line

    Pau Tea
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of "What if Soy Milk is just regular milk presenting itself in Spanish?"

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Presenting itself in bilingual, you mean. Pretty sure Spanish doesn't use "milk". In Italian it's "latte", so I guess Spanish must be similar.

    Load More Replies...
    Pumpkin Spice
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soy yo! Cho-o-o-rizo! Soy yo! Cho-o-o-rizo!

    Janina Prado
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great. Now I'm gonna be singing this when I eat. Thanks, pal. ;)

    Load More Replies...
    Susie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That stuff is actually pretty good. Just sayin.

    Janina Prado
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It totally is. Have to watch what I eat, so I'm happy with that.

    Load More Replies...
    Pauly Donahue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It says vegetarian right under chorizo. I've actually had some pretty good ones.

    Jenna Howe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you for the belly laugh.

    PurpleUnicorn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Laughed way to much on this one!!

    View more comments
    #23

    Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

    Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

    yoyoha Report

    Orillion
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh. I'll have to remember that one.

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from the Caribbean and we are a highly superstitious people. If you did that, we'd probably first ask the neighbors if they did it then get a priest to come exorcise the house. Lol

    Truth Monster
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't recommend watermelon on people's porches. Place it on a black person's porch you may be charged with a hate crime

    LazyPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sentence is dumb, annoying, and true all at once.

    Load More Replies...
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus, in my neighborhood, it would have to be wrapped in something pretty durable, or the raccoons, foxes, possums, deer, and other various and sundry rural fauna that populate the field and woods behind my house will have it pretty much eaten before sunrise.

    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a teenager I put a swan planter full of flowers in someone's unlocked car. Listen, it's as wild as I got, but now I feel bad for the lady whose swan I stole. Forgive me, plant lady. I know your pain now.

    Sasy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think i have had enough bp when i read that as " be the imbecilic phenomena you wish to see in the world " and it made sense.

    Veronica Vatter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Mommy! The watermelon fairy came!"

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #24

    Floppy Discs

    Floppy Discs

    karenvideoeditor Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a song by Metronome, titled Self Control, that uses the old printers' sound effect. It's really nice. I'm not even kidding. And then there are actual geeks making remakes of famous songs with the actual hardware. Geniuses!

    Load More Replies...
    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or when it was trying to read a damaged DVD...just scrrreeeeecchhh knock knock....scrreeeccchhh...and then it'd spit it back out. Lol

    Randolph Croft
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have we all forgotten Hayes Modems during the Dial-Up Handshake? It was like a bus-load of 9-year olds, on fire, going over a cliff into a deep quarry lake - the sudden silence was a horrifying relief.

    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last week I resurrected a 16-year-old computer to play a 16-bit game (I guess those aren't supported by 64-bit Windows even with compatibility mode) and yeah, my husband said I shouldn't leave it on for very long in a stretch because it sounds like it's gonna just start on fire or maybe fly away like a helicopter. :P

    Parmeisan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PS. Yes, I tried DOSBox, emulators, and VMs. In the end the easiest thing was just to boot up the oldest machine I had kicking around the house and pop the CD in.

    Load More Replies...
    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, and those primitive beasts where also HUGE. My Atari occupied the most part of my deck, was noisy as hell - and it didn't even have a hard disk drive.

    Pille P
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not comparable to an electric breast milk pump. The big 1800€ one you take on loan from the pharmacies in Germany is loud and annoying. But the small portable 150€ one (which you theoretically can use at home while your child is sleeping) moans like a rowdy bull, needs to be adjusted every 5 seconds or it looses the vacuum and after 10 minutes starts to whistle like a football/soccer judge.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are actually people making real music from these. Search "floppy disc music" to see what I'm talking about. I genuinely like it, it sounds so cool. But I like the Tesla coiler music too.

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then te 56k modem chimes in.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, I always loved that sound! (No, seriously, I did, I found it new and exciting)

    Load More Replies...
    MORGAN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A pterodactyl eating a corncob? Did I read that wrong?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    World Changer

    World Changer

    ronnui_ Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's kinda the same with car rides, except for the windows.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if you're in one of those glass elevators of fancy schmensy buildings that let you see the view as your cabin climbs up and down?

    Load More Replies...
    Johnny
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog knows the elevator is an alternative to stairs. When we go back to our 3rd floor apartment and I head for the stairs, he'll sometimes pull me over to the elevator so he doesn't have to walk up 3 flights of stairs.

    Cheri Aline Sydney
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Johnny, your dog is probably trying to figure out why you're so hard to train....

    Load More Replies...
    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That opens a whole new philosophical world to me

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I honestly think they don't really care all that much. Some might never understand their purpose, some have it figured out in seconds and yet all of those not afraid will just take it in stride as "I suppose it is what it is".

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always called the car "the earthquake box". A loud, shaking place they were held that made the landscape change!

    Liz the Wanderer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they do. There are strays in some countries that ride the train into the city during the day to beg for food. They ride the train home again to wherever they sleep. Reportedly they never miss their stop.

    jewish.space.laser
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lived in the third floor of my dorm building with my doggo and if we took the elevator and even if it stopped on a different floor before 1, she would just walk out like, "Ok, mom. C'mon, it's time for walkies!" And I would have to pull her back inside.

    Valentin Iulian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having spent 6 years living with a German Shepherd on the 7th floor of an old communist apartment building, the elevator broke down from time to time. I always wondered if he ever figured out elevators, each time we had to take the stairs.

    Meike H
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sometimes see birds like pigeons in subway or train cars...I always worry about them, will they ever find back their nest?

    Demongrrrrl
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    British scientists have shown that many of the pigeons in Trafalgar Square commute in on the trains. Then they take the trains back home.

    Load More Replies...
    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends on the elevator, I use to take my doggo into the nearby city, he never minded elevators until we got to some older buildings, he flat out refused to enter so I would put his in the stairwell and call him from the floor I arrived on. At first I wondered if he knew something I didn’t, but he just didn’t like the rickety ride

    View more comments
    #26

    “Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

    “Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

    jackwick23 Report

    Call Me Mars
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a bad feeling about Dave all along! I KNEW it!

    Load More Replies...
    Tiny Dog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dammit, Dave! Do you know how expensive those windmills were? Now we have to move on to Plan B. Load the Queer Sprinkles into the crop duster and let’s be off!

    Patrick McKemie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Homosexual Mists sounds like a great band name.

    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is that why it smells so good in here now? Like fresh-baked cookies and rain during a sun shower. .

    WholesomeArmyweeb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did we mess up? It should smell like boba ramen and iced coffee in a heavenly candle scent

    Load More Replies...
    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know the punishment for revealing any part of the Gay Agenda, Dave. Prepare to have your Judy Garland albums ritually burned!

    she/they and definitely gay
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WE'VE KEPT IT A SECRET FOR SO LONG DAVE JUST A LITTLE GODDAMN LONGER WOULDN'T BE THAT HARD

    View more comments
    #27

    Crotch Fruit Employees

    Crotch Fruit Employees

    MaxQuill Report

    bryguy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not that bad actually. It's like asking kids to do chores, just 10000 times faster. I'm the kid, btw.

    Load More Replies...
    Dark Pearl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I turn my own lights off and get the remote myself and so do my parents. Mandy V is just a slave driver.

    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm from the 60's. I was the family tv antenna. And the remote.

    Load More Replies...
    WholesomeArmyweeb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True kids aren’t slaves- GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS SHAREN

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a trained dog, some have trained significant others, kids ain’t all that

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw a post about someone successfully training their cat to turn the lights off. The problem was, the cat found a new toy. ♡

    Load More Replies...
    blugeagua
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well let's see, I actually get off my ass and get the remote and turn off the lights myself. It's not that hard.

    John Baker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop using your crotch fruit as employees, **and** learn some proper f*****g grammar.

    Alex Luiz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, but the thing about not having kids is that nobody hides/loses the remote, so everything is controllable from the sofa nest.

    Fluffy Griffin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get this.. Kids are the ones leaving the lights on in every room, and the ones who lose the remote in the couch cushions.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #28

    Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

    Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

    ShinigamiDady Report

    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We’ve also left eggs to boil too long…. (Now THAT’S a mess to clean up——you’ll also be finding tiny bits of dried up burnt egg in crevices you didn’t know your kitchen had, for years to come.)

    Load More Replies...
    J. F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only know about eggs and grape slices in microwaves - Eggs explode (but don't get better) and grape halves catch fire (they create plasma that goes up in flames)

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I noticed chestnuts may cause a fire (already coocked+no shell) if put alone in the microwave. However, if I add them to another food, like rice, for example, it seems fine.

    Load More Replies...
    Rainy Day Wolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean most grain do this... have you not tried puffed wheat or puffed rice?

    Blakkur Sverrir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So far I can say: Exploding doesn"t make better: Peas, Beans, Carrots, Eggs, Chicken-stripes Testing continues. Will keep you informed

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you never experiment with a microwave as a child?

    Calypso poet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Do not put a whole egg in there.

    Load More Replies...
    Molly Cule
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I forgot to poke holes before cooking some jacket potatoes once. Only once. The few pieces that remained in the oven tray were pretty tasty.

    Ashbug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad did that with a blue potato once it was a sight to see

    Load More Replies...
    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i tired with pasta, but it didn't work

    Yvette Desmarais
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. You need something with an outside hull or skin. Try a tomato.

    Load More Replies...
    Alan Metcalfe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The search continues. Big Clive on YouTube!

    Dog Lover
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you cut a grape in half and put the halves in the microwave with a glass over them, you will get some weird ass plasma show.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #29

    “Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

    “Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

    lindsaybauer36 Report

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just throw an Amazon shirt on and carry your knife in a box.

    Ria C.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm gen X and if I don't know or expect you, I don't answer.

    LazyPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes I don't answer if I expect you 😅 call me five times first while I'm taking a poo reading BP

    Load More Replies...
    Steve Barnett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always wondered if a serial killer has unknowingly killed another serial killer.

    Rainy Day Wolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Serial Killer frustrated after 3 days waiting for millennial to open the door "how is this person never leaving their house!!!!!"

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm okay with that industry going under.

    A Shipper
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a boomer and I absolutely do not answer the door if I'm not expecting someone. I think it comes from being a latchkey kid in NJ in the 70's.

    Chancey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was also a latchkey kid in NJ in the 70s. I don't answer the door either.

    Load More Replies...
    cccooper
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guess they could reinvent themselves and nab jobs for Uber and DoorDash.

    Theblackcat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like nobody these s Days answer the door cuz like they have these doorbells with a camera in dem

    Essex Eagle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No but their quite happy to wonder around with headphones plastered to their ears or ear bods in and wonder why they dont hear people coming up behind them....

    View more comments
    #30

    Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!

    Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!

    EnlightenmentAddict Report

    Mark Stewart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the new "smell ya later".

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if you put your cheese in a bag, the smell will stay inside until you open it up and smell it later, so this totally works.

    Load More Replies...
    Karl Baxter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like something Bender (Futurama) might say 😀

    Blue of the yams
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See, I think it sounds like Bill Cypher from Gravity Falls!

    Load More Replies...
    Cheesy69
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel forced to comment, it’s cheesy

    HooowlAtTheMoon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My girlfriend is going to be so confused when I start using this

    Pauly Donahue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oldie, but a goodie. Cheers from Wisconsin!

    A
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep reading this and putting an imaginary comma in different spots.

    Jody Craig
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am now also using this ha ha ha

    View more comments
    #31

    Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

    Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

    praaany Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See also: Normal Feminism or Circe wearing Groucho Glasses?

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, Classic Jesus might mean Crusades and Witch Hunts, so maybe add Actual Jesus to the mix. Actual Jesus is way more peace-loving, flexible, and tolerant of differences than either of the other two.

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's classic Jesus. Spain Jesus is what you're thinking classic Jesus is.

    Load More Replies...
    Rainy Day Wolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Christians are people who don't follow Jesus teachings but think they deserve to go to heaven because they read the fanfic...

    noralin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am not sure what kind of christians you have encountered but those people you mentioned are not christians. The whole concept of Christianity is that everyone is a sinner and does not deserve a place in heaven without the blood of Jesus Christ. So, by definition, a person who thinks that they deserve to go to heaven, can't possibly be a christian. A place in heaven is impossible to be earned by anyone.

    Load More Replies...
    K Killian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus Classic sounds like a new Coca-Cola product.

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    neither. i'm atheist

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus was not a Republican. Neither a Democrat. He was the king of Jews (and basically of the entire world), so He was a Monarchist. Conclusion : long live the queen.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #32

    Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind

    Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind

    kevinowdziej Report

    ThatGuv
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes! The softest substance in the known universe, is in fact, the Corgis butt.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A fuzzy potato that barks at the wind.

    Barbara Cass
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, I have one of those wind barking potatoes

    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog has wind phobia. Doesn't bark at it. Just hides all 65 pounds of himself behind my back. On the couch. Very comfortable. I especially appreciate the shaking part.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cannot be the only person wondering what her other potatoes bark at.....

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love to be blessed with 3 seriously enormous big cats, the smallest is about 5 kilos and they are all freaky weird just like me and they are the best company but not much space to sleep un our bed because they don't see that its an option to sleep with out them. That's just stupid 🥰🥰 and man how much they talk to us every day all 3 of them🥰

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #33

    Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

    Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

    SwipingNoSwiper Report

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next time, take Cotton-Eyed Joe outside where he'll eat other annoying bugs. Spiders are underrated.

    Sportsgal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that song is a wormhole infesting my brain! Will be singing it all weekend! 😁

    IFXO
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cotton Eyed Joe has left the chat

    Smelli Mel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww I live in Australia, a giant huntsman is great to have. It kills all the dangerous spiders. So we let them live!

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh no, cotton eye joe, I didn't even get to say hello.

    Marilyn Holt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my cat is staring intently at the ceiling, I know joe is up there. (shudder)

    Robin DJW
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awwww. Spiders do far more good that harm.

    ZuriLovesYou
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think most people most people are afraid because they look scary. Not because they're afraid of getting bit.

    Load More Replies...
    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once worked in an 11th floor office (top floor) that had spiders drop down from the ceiling now and then. I used to wonder what the heck they were finding to eat up there.

    Lily Mae Kitty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    poor spider just living his life, trying to make her house safe from the bad bugs

    View more comments
    #34

    Two Mini Hellpanthers

    Two Mini Hellpanthers

    Lemightyman Report

    Cath Homer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They suck you in, those furry wee bastards. Masters of manipulation.

    Bron
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At 3 o’Clock in the freaking morning!

    Load More Replies...
    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is he Gordon Ramsay? Lol. Also mini hellpanthers that poop and yell is very accurate. They also attack if they are ignored.

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband was the same way about the two cats I had when I was single. Within a week, he was also supervising their meals, and recommending better cat litter. This is a man who never had a cat as a pet in his life.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd laugh except I did this a few nights ago... *crawls away in shame*

    AnnaBanana
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My partner is the same. Ambivalent towards cats until he met mine. They day he got all three to follow him and have their dinner was the best day of his life - he couldn't stop talking about it for hours...

    Danieletc
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hellpanthers find some easier to train than others.

    Scott
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will say, I'm not a cat person myself. But give me a kitten, let me bond with it and vice versa (meaning, let me teach it to be a dog), and I'll go to war to feed it, care for it, protect it, etc. if I have to.

    Lily Mae Kitty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my now husband said he thought he was more a dog man b/c he'd never had a cat. Within 2 months my old cats loved him so much and I realized he's a cat whisperer. He doesn't even like dogs really. We are happy cat owners to this day.

    Susan Williams
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dogs do it too. Their damp eyes bore into me. They only like white meat chicken or ham. If I put anything else in their bowl, they give me the damp eye again.

    View more comments
    #35

    The Eyebrow Spectrum

    The Eyebrow Spectrum

    reddit.com Report

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    somewhere in the middle. Literally covering their nose instead of eyes

    Load More Replies...
    Tom Hardeveld
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm so sad, I have barely any eyebrow" "No worries little lady, I got you coverd" "Marry me!"

    Venatrix324
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We should call mustaches lip eyebrows

    Crissy Brandt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your dad has so much eyebrow, some moved down to his lip.

    price ko terada-bellis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you marry dad? Mom:He had something I don't.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sooo.... the child has a pencil mustache and handlebar eyebrows?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #36

    Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

    Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

    Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

    Toast Of Saint Louis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This actually happened to me. I smoked some really good time traveling pot and ended up in 1978. Cried when I had to come back to 2012. I absolutely loved 1978 MN.

    Load More Replies...
    Valley Girl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I woulda thought I smoked myself clear to Mississippi!

    Marie Stanford
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t know you were black until that last sentence.

    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    chong harder my friend

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    /Stephen Fry QI affect/ "That would have been a vest and suspenders, not a three piece suit, as it turns out"

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    About the same reason I haven't done that shir for over 20 years I just think and believe the weirdest s**t ever!

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Digging up bones that should never have existed.

    Grady'sRaider
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Walking with an old college bud down the street when a really long stretched limo goes by. He stops and turns white, and asks, was that a really long limo. I tell him yes. He says thank god, I thought I had an acid flashback.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #37

    Julius In The Coolius

    Julius In The Coolius

    VA2M Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Et tu, Tutus? [angry recorder noise]

    lazy panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually lost it at "angry recorder noise" 😂😂

    Load More Replies...
    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A King in a Bin? Freezing the Caesar? Tyrant in Iceland? Decapitator in a Fridgerator? Stuckus my Brutus? Nero in Absolute Zero? Tiberius during Mid-Freezius? Pompeius in an Apparatus?

    Herobrine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Juiluis in the coolius is the beat one tho.

    View more comments
    #38

    You Are One Of My Sims

    You Are One Of My Sims

    FireHauzard Report

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh you poor innocent beings. You're not safe anywhere. All they have to do is to hit PAUSE, and build walls around you, and then the games REALLY begin.

    Load More Replies...
    Tom Hardeveld
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I listend to a slice of ambiant rain and ate cheesecake noisy for ten hours, does that count?

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To my sims master: "Show me how it gets better"

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay...so now I'm definitely gonna do this. Lol

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On the bright side, when you piss on the bathroom floor two feet from the toilet, you now know why.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    DRINK NOTHIING. You don't know this yet, but toilets are going to be a problem.

    Susan Williams
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just one slice???? That proves it was only a dream.

    View more comments
    #39

    Wiggles Concert

    Wiggles Concert

    Daniel_Min Report

    elStiJneriNO
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...eat spaghetti until your forgetti your regretti

    Load More Replies...
    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having progeny does not equate to being a successful human.

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what the hell is wrong with not having kids? some of us couldn't. some just didn't. We have a right to breed or not don't we?

    W. 5
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely HATE it when people try to make people with no kids feel bad! To have a child was my choice, I wanted to have a child with all the responsebilities and limitations...and every person without kids has a fantastical life without those specifics parental circumstances and does not "miss out" Shoutout to all happy childless people! (I know it is a sad thing If you are not deliberately childless and have to cope with this, I am just sick of parents saying things like "You don't know love *or whatever* until you have a child." JUST NO!)

    Tracy Costa
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids are not for everyone. It is absolutley acceptable to not have children. But this meme cracks me up. First, I have a kid and no clue who the Wiggles are, but the Pixies concert was fun. Second, in reality, how was your trip to Italy? Oh, you didn't go? Because they never go. You are not a jet setter just because you don't breed. I know one person who doesn't have kids and travels. Meanwhile, I actually have gone to Palm Beach on a whim with my kid. It was lovely.

    v
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Because they never go" because it supports your argument and you want us to believe your Palm Beach story? Why should we?

    Load More Replies...
    Heather Menard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no kids but have dogs so I can't just pack up and go

    Liz the Wanderer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same, but I travel wherever I like with them. They are far less likely to disturb others in a hotel..

    Load More Replies...
    abby smink
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Progeny? This isn't True Blood.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have great nieces and nephews. Me making "progeny" means nothing in the grand scheme.

    Sheila Stamey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it was the username "tuggywuggy" That gave them away.

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two rude ,unkind, judgementele, nosey, people who are hostile and easily angered for no reason. Don't asume anyone is unhappy because their life isn't a photocopy of your own. Be grateful you each had a choice.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #40

    Whatever Works

    Whatever Works

    UltraThicc42 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    isn't that the way to eat steak?

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bro bro bro bro, brobrobro, obviously, you have to 1. Set yourself on fire 2. Add steak (and flip occasionally) 3. Add spices when you feel medium rare.

    Ash Trash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How else you supposed to do it.

    John C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adam Ragusea doesn't even get a mention for this? His youtube channel is endlessly watchable - he's got legit cooking tips and entertaining personality, what else could you want?

    Amir Ahmed Asif
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adam Ragusea! That man is so articulated in his sentence construction that it is as enjoyable as his cooking process. I am not a native English speaker, but I love when someone has a good mastery of the language (as well as cooking).

    Grady'sRaider
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Season your steak. Put it in a baggie in the fridge for a couple hours before cooking it. The dry spices come back to life. - first time by mistake; on purpose since.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #41

    Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

    Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

    reddit.com Report

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This Generation's Robber Barrons

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aye, amazing how stupid they both look. Did they get married?

    Load More Replies...
    bryguy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark Zuckerberg always looks like a robot that just got a software update and it's taking a second to reload. That creepy ass o - o look he's always got going on

    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did Mark Zuckerberg actually get himself a robot stand-in for boring official meetings ? That's a real question though.

    _𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕔𝕠_𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕠_
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark Zuckerberg is like, signal disconnected. Searching for signal. Searching for signal. LOOK AT HIS FACE

    Priscilla Reshell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find it weird that Zuckerbergs wax figure looks more real than him

    blugeagua
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why the f**k does Zuckerberg always look fake and emotionless?

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's on benzodiazapams like xanax

    Load More Replies...
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In another age, that would be about the size of it. Except the robot would be someone with a serious head injury who drifted up to the lighthouse in a dinghy.

    View more comments
    #42

    Anon Knows The English Language

    Anon Knows The English Language

    HurrHurrHurrCheese Report

    fire bug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of all the movies out there... The Joker is definitely one of them.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you neither want to be mean nor to lie

    Beeps
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like the original poster accidentally the whole thing.

    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I seen one of the movies ever made last night , well i assume i did

    Tom Hardeveld
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Movie, the movie! coming out as a movie

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they're on to something there, I am sure it was one of the movies ever made.

    View more comments
    #43

    Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

    Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

    drnkchineseboi Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously, what where they thinking before?

    Ash Trash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conspiracy: They purposely made it bad for the meme, to make everyone know about it. Then "fixed" it. Free advertisement viva meme.

    Load More Replies...
    Foxxy (Not Original)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The old one looks like the kid from jumanji turning into a monkey

    Legen ( wait for it ) dary
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can we do the same to designers, so they add pockets to women clothes ? Seriously.

    Stan Chung
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    naw, that's a conspiracy to sell you handbags

    Load More Replies...
    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not bullying if EVERYONE agrees with you. Then It's a cult :3

    Trisha Schulte
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why couldn't they have done this with Dumbo? They seriously took the cuteness away from my favorite Disney character.

    Lisa Shelton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still think they made the 'before' just to leak out and make an uproar so they could 'fix' it and everyone would watch the movie in gratitude.

    Duncan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That movie was hilarious

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reporting a warcrime is not cyberbullying. I mean did you SEE the teeth?! It looked like one of those felt horror puppets with real human teeth.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #44

    LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

    LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

    CrimsonComet777 Report

    River Webb
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    on the other hand, Chewbacca is thicc

    Ian Koch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unpopular opinion, Chewbacca is the equivalent of a pretty smart bear that REALLY needs a hair-cut.

    Load More Replies...
    Toni
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    because men dont have arses..

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I found out I was transgender when I woke up one morning and my ass fell off.

    Load More Replies...
    Chucky Cheezburger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that they mean some men don't have well defined butts. They're flat and don't hold their pants up very well. Some guys, me included, are best described as " back, crack, and legs."

    Load More Replies...
    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ummm my guy is a guy and he has the most perfect butt I've ever seen like how is he NOT a butt model for real.

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Real men don't have arsecheeks?

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He do be gay for that Chewbacca right? Not judging, just asking.

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    suddenly i feel a strange attraction to the fictional bipedal animal species.....

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #45

    Cool Sport Rush

    Cool Sport Rush

    RyckandMorti Report

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

    Peppermallow
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ll take not understanding what I smell like, over not having pockets to store stuff any day of the week

    Rainy Day Wolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I buy men's deodorant because some smell really nice like lumber or spices

    Demongrrrrl
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bay Rum deodorant smells great. I love English Leather, too.

    Load More Replies...
    Calypso poet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg! Current deodorants Mine: cucumber & green tea His: KRAKENGARD 🤦🏻‍♀️ wtf?

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do tell wtf is a Fruity Dream Mix, bud.

    Grady'sRaider
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saw a meme. The difference between men and women. If a woman asks you to smell something, it smells nice. 😁

    Julia Atkinson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At the moment I smell like 'Sour Prunus', because it's a cheap duplicate of Tom Ford's 'Bitter Peach' and the manufacturer wants to avoid legal action

    PinkWoot08
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing wrong with men smelling like vanilla, lavender 🙃 I get where it was going but just saying

    Calyfan Yelood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yess!!! I don't want to smell "extreme". Hand me the tutti frutti deoderant

    Mya Lugar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, as a woman, I see the names of mens deodorant and scents, and it just translates in my mind to SWEAT!

    View more comments
    #46

    One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

    One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

    markedly Report

    Friday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. This is accurate, I even read it in his voice. RIP Steve.

    Load More Replies...
    Sheila Stamey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahh,mate, look at this little fluffer noodle I found in it's habitat! Like all things in nature, though, this one has its foods and obviously she had just eaten more than her share of the local fare, but isn't she a cutie! She has a strange defense for a non venomous snake, if you are unlucky enough to upset her just after eating she'll fart on ya so bad you'll change religion to get away! Crikey! She just did it! Run fellas!

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cikey look at this specimen. She's a little thick in the middle but that's alright, it eludes to just how powerful she is because she obviously doesn't have to fight for her next meal. See that shifty eye? that means she ALWAYS knows what's going on around her. I wouldn't get too close with bad intentions though she will bite you.

    Shinomi Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks Steve! I too wish, I was a cute snake on a desert.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    CROOOOIKEY LOOK AT THIS ONE! SHE'S SYUUUPER DINGEROUS! I'M GUNNA LICK IT!

    René Studer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gorgeous, it's sleeping. Don't wake it up before 10am, it gets a little cranky.

    View more comments
    #47

    Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

    Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

    genius23sarcasm Report

    Alex the awful German
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

    Venatrix324
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ‘Ello, old chap. Would you fancy a spot of tea?

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This horse looks better than me in a three piece suit....and that was expected. Lol

    Christine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently, ALL animals in people clothes look a bit creepy. Who knew?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #48

    Life Pro Tip

    Life Pro Tip

    UnculturedYam Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    KombatBunni
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s ridiculously accurate and made me laugh out loud, cos it sounds exactly how it would with me attempting to play. Thankyou Bacony Cakes, I needed that.

    Load More Replies...
    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so wrong, but so right at the same time. I can vividly picture what this would look like

    TmKhr
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Suddenly you and others nearby start laughing and you might forget why you're having a panic attack in the first place

    Bettie-Jean Neal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I doubt it, at least for me. I alway have one when I'm alone.

    Load More Replies...
    ScarlettofHydraIsland
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m going to do that because it will undoubtedly make me laugh and break the panic attack

    Amy Dodds
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make hyperventilating funfunfun

    Alejandra Lima
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That surely sounds like the flute fail in the parody version of Titanic

    TheOfficialAshfoot
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes me think of that one Wilbur Soot harmonica YLYL where he goes 'It sounds like I'm having a panic attack!' *harmonica noises intensify*

    Janus Sanders
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i need to try this next time i have a panic attack lmao.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #49

    Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

    Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

    MartinniTheJawa Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the generic farm in the background where the tornado starts.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I am "young man #7 who gets stabbed in the back by a flying fence post".

    ScarlettofHydraIsland
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m that one idiot who stands there and stares at it

    Janus Sanders
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i'm that one tree with the flimsy branches that eventually gets ripped out of the ground and goes flying across the field

    Alastor the radio demon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the one who lassos you and ties you to a metal pole while I go kick the tornados ass

    Load More Replies...
    Paulina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the one that runs towards tornado to save the dog but gets smashed by the rolling car (dog is fine)

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We've got cows.... Another Cow.... I think that's the same cow. (if you know you know)

    ~hUmMuS vIbEs~
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the innocent turkey uprooted from their home

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I strongly identify with the stop sign that violently flaps back and forth but doesn't break.

    YesItsMe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you put me read that same text twice??!! :D f**ing annoying!

    G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the part that pushed me over the edge was the fact that it was not only redundant but also quoted incorrectly. :-P

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #50

    Snarrot

    Snarrot

    s3csh3n8 Report

    Janus Sanders
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i love everything about this lmao

    Jill Bussey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would be the other way round though. Small end first....

    elfin
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But wouldn't it start eating at the small end of the carrot?

    View more comments
    #51

    Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

    Florida Going To Feel This One For A While

    Round_Rock_Johnson Report

    Erizzle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This needs to be higher. 🤣

    Laura Mende (Human)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He wrote VIRGINA and I read... You know what I read. 😂😂😂

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes my thaught on that is the same and the bestest florida man is orange, like thats a real minority to be the only one on the planet and I'm always amazed that people buy houses there by choice! Amazing

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #52

    If You Don't Find Waldo He's Gonna Stab You

    If You Don't Find Waldo He's Gonna Stab You

    RedditShaz420 Report

    Peppy Piplup
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sew as a hobby. Sometimes the needles sneak attack me when I'm lying in bed.

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember this game. SPOILER: it ends with you in urgent care getting half a needle extracted from your foot with forceps and an electromagnet.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bought a magnet on a stick thing that looks a bit like a sponge mop. Even that misses some of the pins.

    Memere
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have one of those in my craft room, and yeah they don't always get all of them!

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #53

    Huh?

    Huh?

    deepzeke Report

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the Feds could do this w beer America would already be at 100%

    Cyndielouwhoo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should try this with the covid vaccine in the U.S.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can these ferrets even HAVE chocolate? "Most ferrets commonly experience diarrhea and excitement. In bad cases, your pet may vomit, be depressed, have seizures, excessive thirst, urinate more frequently, and even experience muscle tremors. If the ferret ate too much chocolate, he may die from cardiac arrest." Great conservation plans, once again...

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's OK; the story's not true (which makes me glad because candy would rot their teeth and chocolate, as was said, probably makes them sick): https://www.livescience.com/55427-drone-vaccines-save-ferrets.html

    Load More Replies...
    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We can all dream the impossible dream

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best way to take someone who is convinced he outsmarts every one with them thinking that this sounds finally smart thing to do and goes in a well caused mission to save the day and then you do it as long it works better than perfect. No Karen making a mess and her relatives. An almost perfect world. I agree every time my dear husband reminds me its no point trying kid sphycology on him but in reality sometimes I have already done it 5 times that day alone and its perfect. We are both happy and it works like magic.

    Holly Allen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    M&Ms huh? I could just stand by the ferret colony with my mouth open

    humdrum
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a) old and b) not true but do vote me into invisibility if y'all didn't want to know that.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mink are very susceptible to covid-19, so I guess ferrets could be as well. Or is this for a different disease?

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This article's been out for a while, so I'm guessing for a different disease.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #54

    Not A Squirrel

    Not A Squirrel

    edgelord_brian Report

    LAWLAWLAW
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or for shits and giggles just yell "SQUIRREL"

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My go-to would be "NOT A HUMAN! ... dangit, I f****d that up. Run Steve, run!"

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist: the librarians are not responsible for the notice, and are now wondering why suddenly every one is shouting 'not squirrel' through the book return.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conclusion: Keith has nutty lunches and a phobia of squirrels

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is an internal bet with the librarians of who says it and who says it the loudest. They are just laughing at your ridiculousness on the other side.

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Move your lunch away from the return drop, Keith.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Definitely a squirrel! You'd better have packed peanut butter sandwiches, Keith."

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bring helium. "Helloooooo? We've *COUGH Iiiiiiiiii've got a booook to droooop." Then giggle.

    #55

    Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

    Oil Execs Dip Their Hands In Big Barrels Of Dinosaur Juice To Lube Up Every Time They Have A Wank

    synthgrrl Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *china laughs in coal power*

    Memere
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then they keel over coughing their lungs out from the air pollution...js

    Load More Replies...
    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate that the boredpanda's cussin' censor doesn't apply to British swears.

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. Our youngest generation is the ones who will save the planet when they are strong enough to over power us hopefully in the near future because we obviously don't even seem to try let alone think about it. That's not how brainless people think.

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We live in the northern hemisphere and we are using as much of non toxic clean energy as we can and we are going to do it from now on to forever because we value our clean air and the fresh water we are blessed with and nature that astounds us even til this day and for the 150th time so yes we are fighting for it andcee just liok our yhe window to se the man made climate change and no one doubts it or you are literally braindead not to see the same as the rest of us.firdt time in my 40+ years I lived trhougj a winter and utcsbowed for two days and gone within a day. Its supposed to be a full blown ice age for at least 3 months every year always. No one i know has seen it before and even the elderly people are mind blown beyond words so Yeah we dont think much of people saying we are lying.

    Load More Replies...
    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find this very hard to believe.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My state doesn't use coal and is reducing use of oil while increasing solar and wind energy sources. Most of Vegas is already solar powered...

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Tey provide services that you use.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #56

    "Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

    "Babies Are Absolutely Biodegradable"

    LotG Report

    Orillion
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's not wrong.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not having babies is the best thing you can do for the environment.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a cemetery near my house, and there is an area only with babies. I can testify they are totally biodegradable.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LATEX CONDOMS ARE BIODEGRADABLE

    Jessica Cifelli
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How would a latex condom not be biodegradable? Latex literally comes from a plant. Also most lube on the condoms are water soluble

    qwerty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, guilt-free usage.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please do not bury your STDs in babies. Even biodegradable ones.

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course they sre biodegradable thats how living being works and personaly a better thought than knowing that the most important thing in the world is the same material as a condom and garbage!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #57

    American Horse Pirates

    American Horse Pirates

    My_Memes_Will_Cure_U Report

    Cath Homer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm calling them this from now on. Rebranding!

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too will refer to them as American horse pirates.

    Load More Replies...
    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..what are cowboys? did you mean American horse pirates?

    Black Pug Puppy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes foolish Americans thinking American horse pirates are called cowboys

    Load More Replies...
    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pirates VS Cowboys VS Ninjas VS Vikings VS Romans VS The British.

    #58

    “Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

    “Somehow Managed To Sire Both Beavis And Also Butthead”

    ttlai Report

    Theoretical Empiricist
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "OF COURSE MY SEED IS STRONG! I HAVE THE STRONGEST SEED OF ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. ELEPHANTS ARE ENVIOUS OF HOW STRONG MY SEED IS!!"

    Load More Replies...
    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or, as Jon Stewart used to call them, “Adolph and Fuckface”.

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ehuehuehueh ehuehuehueh ehuehuehueh ehuehuehueh

    DDmaybeandor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eh, weren't the models mostly plastic? Maybe good looks weren't in the gene pool at all.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They just took after his side of the gene pool

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also Lolita and Tanqueray. With Barron, it remains to be seen...

    View more comments
    #59

    Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

    Let Go Off The Plastic You Gargoyle

    afrid_ali Report

    Fluffy Griffin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a cat that would eat any strings. Yes the typical dental floss, but also the chair cushion ties, accent ribbons, shoe laces... She survived to be 16 and did not die from bowl obstruction.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really want to know what was whited out, now...

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have 3 huge ones living with us and the smallest is ca 5 kilos😂😂🥰

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And all of them weird in thaughts but thats what makes all of them so unbelievably precious to us and they are family members not our property and with so unlike characters but love each other with their enormous beautiful hearts and soul abd and get along great and help each other all the time 😅😅🥰

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #60

    Some Day

    Some Day

    aguynamedude Report

    kristy sickles
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate how much I can relate to this...

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can do what ever you want with a strong and positive attitude 🥰

    TheBoredPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know why but I thought the greyed out word was 'bubs'.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Only antidepressants and food can beat depression. And add alcoholic if it does not work.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #61

    Birds

    Birds

    DrBourxss Report

    J. F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So would that makes them "Skinnies"?

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    REVERSE FURRIES. Cannot unsee that gangwar.

    Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They sound amazing and seem to think of everything imaginable 🥰

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Start using mens deodorant on female ostriches

    #62

    Cursed Kebab

    Cursed Kebab

    diveonfire Report

    Clandestine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    scoliosis? My sister has some for scoliosis.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate it when they add fake weight to my kebab with medical grade titanium alloy.

    #63

    Magic Skeleton

    Magic Skeleton

    Pasghettipourn Report

    the child
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    didn't expect motivation among the wondrous gobbledegook in this article but thank you

    Scott
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Wonderous gobbledegook" made me immediately think "wibbly wobbly timey wimey"

    Load More Replies...
    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thank you, fellow magic skeleton

    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tell that to my skeleton , it's fckn killing me , laid up with a bad back

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My good man... no. Not only am I not the skeleton, I'm not even the subconscious and CNS operating it. I'm a bloody passenger sat in a blob of fat and blood! I can access the senses, but I'm in a penthouse dungeon without windows. The driver's ability to understand my instructions actually seems to fluctuate with the vehicle's FUEL level, if you can believe that. Plus there's that preposterous recharge cycle that forces the whole thing into some sort of standby mode in the dark every so often. It's SO primitive, but it's all one has for the moment.

    Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am molten freddy. I am a blob with a mask

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #64

    I Love Biology Facts

    I Love Biology Facts

    bonelazo Report

    Marianne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This rule is only true for land predators. Most fish and birds have eyes facing to the sides, because they have to navigate through a 3 dimensional medium.

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does that make us predators? (As in creeps)

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    For children.

    Dhukath
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Predators for children? New there was something off about Burt & Ernie and don't get me started on Elmo!

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #65

    Translation Please

    Translation Please

    memezzer Report

    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ite izze vairie diffikeulte tou spique ouizz euh propeure inngliche accante iou no.

    H Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vraiment. But it's also very hard to speak with a decent French accent, and I have to cringe when I hear some Brits attempting to speak French.

    Load More Replies...
    Yvette Desmarais
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been relearning French. I notice they skip the last consonants more than New Englanders skip Rs.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ensuelte ze cowèurdlee dogue eez olzo 'eerh.

    View more comments
    #66

    The Wet World Is A Bad Place

    The Wet World Is A Bad Place

    VA2M Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After the shower: damn this sucks

    Just a girl with a brain
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else just sit on their bed in a towel for half an hour doing nothing after they take a shower or is it just me?

    Natalia Shoemark
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes!!!!!! I haaaate getting in there but then love it sooo much when I'm in there!

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For (Pain > Water temp > Body temp, wet = mood(content), Else wet = mood(WHYYYYYYYYYY));

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very true. I have to remember that with kids....I hate the transition, too.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fear there are recessive feline genes in you

    View more comments
    #67

    He Should At Least Be Vibing

    He Should At Least Be Vibing

    abigmilksteak Report

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's enough hormones in turkey without ..."contributions" from staff under influence.

    Anne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alderall may help stores.. all stocked and places super neat

    Sharra
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll never understand why employers have the right to interfere in their workers' personal life like this. As long as you do you job well who cares what you use over the weekend?

    Karl Baxter
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Got to admit when I worked in kitchens 30 odd years ago, being stoned made peeling a dozen sacks of onions a lot more fun than it should have been

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #68

    A Guy Ate A Bat And Now I Am Unemployed

    A Guy Ate A Bat And Now I Am Unemployed

    Naanderson2022 Report

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idiocracy turned out to be a prophecy, s**t came true but Terry was two seperate presidencies. Home Alone happened at the Capitol, and we're doing Outbreak now. Grab a sandwhich, I need to tell you about phones.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #69

    Steve Irwin’s Wario

    Steve Irwin’s Wario

    smok000 Report

    the child
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you can't describe them better than that

    AlmightyOne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where Steve Irwin was kind to animals, Joe, unfortunately, abused them.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Harsh shade on Wario, can he counter this savage opening salvo? The ref is pounding the count out, but he's just not moving! Oh my god, ladies and gentlemen, this was .... WOW. Price per minute, those were the most expensive fight tickets in history.

    #70

    Mainstream Consonants Ugh

    Mainstream Consonants Ugh

    darkest-mirror Report

    the child
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    somehow i understand this

    DDmaybeandor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always thought this, but never had the guts to say it.

    Mohammad Ammar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    R, S and T deserve to be higher, I agree.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had a far closer relationship with X and Y because of that whole relationship drama in maths class.

    Shelby P
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    really Y is pretty useful so maybe swap the two (I mean look at all those Y's I just used)

    #71

    Escape Proof Wiener Bun

    Escape Proof Wiener Bun

    trulygreg67 Report

    Michelle Brandt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you imagine this little cutie running off to grab his hotdog bun because he knows he needs it to go outside? Middle of the night "Mom I gotta potty!" *drops costume on your face* OMG that's adorable!

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please tell me his name is Hogie? I can just see the introductory chat with new neighbours: "And this is our dhogie Hog....I mea-- you know what I mean". Neighbours rolling on the floor laughing. Lifelong friendship ensues.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not referred to as opportunistic for nothing

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Fix the fence and stop shaming your dog!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #72

    Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

    Millennial Culture Is Knowing That Frankenstein Is The Scientist

    Thedepressionoftrees Report

    Marianne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Millennial culture is also knowing that the scientist is the monster.

    Max
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Millenial Culture is also knowing that the 'big green monster' is Boris Karloff only. (That makeup is copyrighted.)

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One and the same, hence the deaf-mute response of the prof

    Yvette Desmarais
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also. That's shriek not Frankinstein's monster.

    Nothanks L. Walk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Millennial culture is not recognising the last line of the book and it's relflection on the irony of humanity. Only we could use humane to describe the very species that defines inhumane. Yes I'm a boomer. Foreign, too.

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the Monster is never given any name, only ever known as Frankenstein's Monster.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    A new, better generation is taking over. Their parents were irrelevant, their grandparents f****d everything up, but now they are here, so stop messing around you stupid elders.

    J. F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The new generation is great in pointing out problems and blaming other without any clue or concept to fix them. Idealists at best with the attitude that others (mostly the older generations) have to fix the mess for them

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #73

    When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

    When Youre This Cute Money *does* Grow On Trees

    bigtimeyikes Report

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You realise that this makes just as much sense as the human version of capitalism.

    Jaded Queen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No it doesn't. Because we actually make things work in life with money. Not just use it cause we are cute & loving

    Load More Replies...
    Liar Howard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This gets a lot funnier if you imagine that the dog owner trained the dog to go into the bar with a leaf and take a cookie and now some dude's getting free cookies for life on the side

    C Unverferth
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    then gives each of the chocolate chipse to his enimes

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Proving once more, dog “owners” are getting owned

    #74

    We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

    We'll Assume That Darth Maul Has Not Seen Any Of The Film's In The Home Alone Franchise

    Thedepressionoftrees Report

    Ian Koch
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how is Link involved in this? (HAHA FUNNY ZELDA JOKE)

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #75

    Great, Whimsical Little Flying Blisters Of Plague

    Great, Whimsical Little Flying Blisters Of Plague

    overpineapple Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As they're most probably referring to Covid: it's virus baubles.

    Load More Replies...
    IFXO
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what if the bubbles were from a bubble machine? great whimsical little flying blisters of polyethene?

    #76

    Perks Of Being An Immortal Being

    Perks Of Being An Immortal Being

    GilCisnerosCloneOrgy Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #77

    “Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

    “Enough Leg To Throw Their Mouth At Food”

    trish-from-HR Report

    bryguy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget about their little tongues! *slurp sound*

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #78

    It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

    It's Quick, It's Easy And It's Free: Pouring River Water In Your Socks

    Octalgulfweed560 Report

    Lillukka79
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not quick, easy or free when the closest river is 5km away.

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've actually done that, trying to remove river gravel. It was neither quick nor easy, but it was free.

    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I'll be damned, it's true.

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    three very good reasons

    #79

    Gay Insider Trading

    Gay Insider Trading

    _mach Report

    Aroace tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was thinking about this exact tweet yesterday 😂

    Natalia Shoemark
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For sure!!! But then they also recognize the little snarky remarks!

    #80

    Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

    Every Step We Take Brings Us Closer To The Gummy Beyond All Things

    VyceVictus Report

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your burgeoning existential crisis has moved me. Go forth and meltify.

    Yvette Desmarais
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What do you think they looked like before they were born? One big glob of melted single colored gummy juice.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is probably a religion about that.

    SeaJaySea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SCP-001 anyone? When day breaks?

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope they weren't sugar free ones. Eating one giant sugar free one would cause you to beg for death. Read reviews of Amazon sugar free gummi bears and cry

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We are the Gummy Borg. We have been assimilated."

    ZuriLovesYou
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's really deep for some flavored sugar.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #81

    "Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

    "Dont Waste Yr Time On This Earth Live Your Life Slap Some Rice"

    yosemite78atreddit Report

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thank you for the inspirational words. i will go and do so

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #82

    I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

    I'm Sort Of A Chicken Magnet

    AmazingScallion Report

    Autumn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love me (chicken) tender.... love me sweet

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd rather be a chick magnate.

    #83

    Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

    Nude, Gay, Ghostly Brad Pitt

    jp_1896 Report

    #84

    In The History Of Children

    In The History Of Children

    BlanketMage Report

    Annamagelic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet it turns out children have been about 10000% better at following the rules and minimizing the spread of covid than adults.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have been. I see teenagers from the nearby high school wearing masks even to just walk down the sidewalk to McDonalds.

    Load More Replies...
    Shelby P
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's almost as if kids in school in general are tasked with not behaving like children... and they do it (for the most part)

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    not the history of the people, or the world, only of the CHILDREN

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #85

    “A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

    “A Loose Cannon Eventually Points Your Way”

    Dxj_R Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's immortalize this, boys.

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How 'bout the all-inclusive y'all.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #86

    Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

    Road Rage About To Be Like A Cod Lobby

    Un_FaZed211 Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Prepare for the first Drive-By Rickroll.

    surprised pikachu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there's gonna be that one person who just blasts music

    Carole Dose
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Early Volkswagon drivers flashed lights and honked at other VW drivers. Sorta the same thinking.

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Granted there are Teslas around. That is a stupid invention. Just cuz we can does not mean we should. What would you say to them "Hi, Tesla driver, how are you?" "P***k off"

    Forrest McCanless
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought "Cod Lobby" was a fishing term I was unfamiliar with. Maybe outside the School?

    TheBoredPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had to google COD lobby. Call of Duty...got it now

    Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine all the catcallers you would come across😶

    #87

    Jenga Tower Of Blood

    Jenga Tower Of Blood

    floridatastic Report

    Adam
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But if you fall you don't explode in a mass of flesh and bone

    #88

    Virtual Cowboy

    Virtual Cowboy

    ApXv Report

    ThatGuv
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My horse is named Swamp Donkey

    Truth Monster
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Around 2018 I had an in-game pony named Very Stable Genius.

    J. F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer Horseton Wells

    MCathenaE
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His are Cookie Crusher & John...

    Scott
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine is Roach. Always Roach.

    Polarlink3frc
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I ride the Mjut in Biomutant. He looks like sully in Monsters Inc. I call him Kitty.

    Kitti B.
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That's such a negative stereotype. Gamers are not guys who just sit at home all day playing video games. Some do cheat, whine, but they call their hose Jon Bon Pony :D

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #89

    Scared Horse. I Am Shooketh

    Scared Horse. I Am Shooketh

    nana_richz Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #90

    Dog Villains

    Dog Villains

    norro58 Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The one in purple is the meanest one, and she is the big sister of the other one who is less evil but who obeys because he is wary of her.

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why no booties forthe Greyhouds?

    Clandestine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nawww! They are good dogs! They are the fancy rich people who befriend the golden retriever and overcome their privilege

    #91

    Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

    Kinda True, It Is Meat With Electricity?

    Howard_duck1 Report

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just became the explanation for all my bad choices.

    I I
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i was told there would be pies

    #92

    Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable

    Spring Rolls Are Unpredictable

    BillDixonish Report

    kristy sickles
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked at a restaurant and DMX came in one day and bought a Heineken and a burger I personally cooked for him and he ordered another one to go and gave me a hug so I guess he liked it lol. He was very nice and yes I kept that beer bottle! RIP my friend!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #93

    Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

    Bare-Chested Man With Two Dead Raccoons

    Livid_Jeweler612 Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he looks like he drives the hillbilly mothership

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And by hillbilly mothership, you mean the rusted '89 Ford Pickup that needs a good push to get it started?

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This guy ^^ got up that morning and said, "I think I'll go storm the Capitol looking as absolutely freaking ridiculous as possible. That'll show 'em!"

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly this represents the looneys of America that have come out the woodwork more thabnusual and it makes the rest of us look back. I am American but not 'Murican. Please accept me!

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Without the paint and the costume he's completely forgettable. The human equivalent of beige paint.

    Essex Eagle
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Or so called peaceful protests that are actually just an excuse to cause wanton destruction to people or property. Or that because you had a opposing view that leant to the right that you would be classed as a second class citizen and forced out of a job.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #94

    That Good Ol Southern Drawl

    That Good Ol Southern Drawl

    treesmithmusic Report

    Orillion
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not gonna lie: that took a few re-reads.

    Marcia Cash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can say y'all in an Irish accent. Too many years at Texas Renaissance Faires.

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm trying to envision this and I'm LMAO.

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Stubbs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Australian: Just abbreviate and add an "O" to the end of any word you like. EG. Batman becomes "Batto" Texan: Something, something....[insert anything that maybe "ist"]....something, something....*loudest, largest*

    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get it. And I've come to realize that the French Québec accent, which usually sounds funny to French people, is nothing else than the average American accent, but in French instead of English.

    Apachebathmat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That nearly caused me to have a seizure

    #95

    My Fart Is On The Floor

    My Fart Is On The Floor

    davisjblair Report

    Jaded Queen
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That's why it's always advised not to have kids. Kids r orphans today because humans want to reproduce like bunnies. Shameful

    #96

    A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

    A Slap In The Face Of The Pez Community

    lilsadb*tch69 Report

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have Elvis pez dispensers in unopened boxes that are 33 years old. Someone offered 800$ for them. I have 3. I did not know there was a pez community but now I must be a member

    Birgit M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With Elvis-dispensers you must even be the pezident!

    Load More Replies...
    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haaaaa - slap in the face of a Pez dispenser, priceless. He had no clue.

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yay, plastic being rare. I, for one, do not get this stuff.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently eBay started as a way for Pez collectors to buy and swap with each other.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #97

    Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

    Snarling Ambulatory Carpets Of Death

    Udzu Report

    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then you have the honey badger - mostly in Africa - who scares lions.

    Rob Woollard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adorable?Really ? Come to England, go up to a badger and pat it on the head. I'll supply the first aid

    Pervinca
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you have a more original and cute skunk. Our is a simple ferret (still cute)

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love both ferrets and skunks; I'd never be able to decide which one's cuter. Though I do know which one makes a better pet. ;-)

    Load More Replies...
    H Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    UK badgers will still give you a nasty bite should you corner one.

    Shelby P
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    which is "your" and which is "our"...

    Anne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ours just looks polite.

    Ben Stubbs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't mess with a European Brock

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #98

    Very Specific

    Very Specific

    theOG-Larrymenta Report

    Mac
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so f*****g funny oh my god the last part😂

    Blue of the yams
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a key part of the Trump supporter starter kit: Huge pickup truck (Ram, Chevy, Ford) usually in white or black, at least one American flag somewhere, 45+ yrs driver dude, some sort of facial hair, weird sunglasses, a hat or a skullcap, obese of haggard looking, arm hanging out of window. Bonus points for smoking a cigarette, awkward hair, tailgating, and a Blue Lives Matter sticker.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought their balls were hanging from the back bumper, having been chromed?

    #99

    How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

    How Are All Your Thoughts In Comic Sans

    Dresslerj1 Report

    the child
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Your thoughts are in comic sans" is lowkey a good burn

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a compliment. "Your thoughts are in italic papyrus", however...

    Load More Replies...
    ThatGuv
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Because comic sans is one of the few fonts easiest to read for my dyslexia demon..."

    Loralie Chase
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you actually read the fonts made for dyslexia? Or are they just as bad?

    Load More Replies...
    Jessica Cifelli
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know why, but I read the whole thing in Crowley's voice

    Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sans and papyrus from undertale were named after fonts

    #100

    Horseback Jesus

    Horseback Jesus

    reddit.com Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha yeah, in my hometown in the early 2ks, that was the "a*sf**k guy". It was a hobo, probably with some sort of mental deficit, just rambling around town yelling stuff about a*sf**king all day long.

    Kimberly Young
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My hometown had Unicorn Man. Unfortunately he ended up going to jail for being a pedo.

    Blue of the yams
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had a few: Dude-Bob the surfer, The Legendary Lady who was also a surfer, Totem aka Kyle, and Robert, a.k.a. The Pink Umbrella Man. He would slowly walk around our town wearing all pink, a bit of pink lipstick and eye shadow, and holding a pink umbrella. I talked to him once, one of the most intellectual conversations I've ever had.

    Calypso poet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our city does not have one. My former one did. I was 15 and working in a McDonalds when a couple of old ladies tried to have us kick him out because of his language. Nope. We think he had Tourette's. He was harmless. After he died recently I found out he was actually a really good artist.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every town needs its local color, and we all need to appreciate that individual more, nobody makes us feel better instantly

    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We've got a few in the surrounding towns: The wizard. Money Jesus. The Golden Rider. The Derby man & the Rain man.

    humdrum
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have the naked guy on rollerblades. Yes, this is Amsterdam, no, you really did see that.

    Truth Monster
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My entire hometown is comprised of people like that. My hometown drove out a New Age cult because WE were too crazy. And its true, my hometown is crazy.

    Scarlett Fox
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my city there's a guy that wears a duck costume. He's pretty cool.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #101

    Primitive Urges

    Primitive Urges

    jkpianocomposer Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a pond with tadpoles in my backyard... I am having weird urges right now...

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #102

    Yogurt

    Yogurt

    reddit.com Report

    qwerty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    George Bush during and after presidency.

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *said this outloud in Yoda voice*

    #103

    "The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

    "The Little Mouse Who Lives In My Frontal Lobe Is My Only Source Of Income"

    why-am-i-sad Report

    #104

    I’m An Asparagus

    I’m An Asparagus

    JDBROWN37 Report

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An Asparagus wouldn't do Pink. They would do Greenwich

    blugeagua
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow the misogny in this is despicable. Screw you Bored Panda for putting up this crap.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #105

    Hmmm Yes

    Hmmm Yes

    kaploov Report

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, when you leave the house it gets awfully peopley.

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "...peopley" - that made me ugly snort. Thank you!!!

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #106

    Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

    Mr Mime Has A Humiliation Fetish And Ash’s Mom Totally Doms Him

    Devioustuna247 Report

    #107

    The Vegans Of Gaming

    The Vegans Of Gaming

    c4jina Report

    Bill
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to see his gaming pc then.

    #108

    My Elementary School Locker Combination

    My Elementary School Locker Combination

    lord_tachanka43 Report

    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is adderall and what does it do?

    Clandestine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From Healthline: ""For people diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Adderall helps to improve concentration and focus. As a central nervous system stimulant it can also have the very same effects on people without ADHD."

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still remember my lock combinations from junior high--both of them. Yet some mornings I can't remember how to make coffee.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #109

    Wrestling With A Bobcat

    Wrestling With A Bobcat

    megahornet Report

    Charity Amante
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like having to pee when you've been swimming- pulling up the ole one piece is torture

    Abnus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just it down all the way in the stall.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #110

    Emergency Hotdog

    Emergency Hotdog

    runterhoos Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, but what type of hotdog is it? Plastic or Actual?

    Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually that'd be pretty handy in like a hurricane or a flood

    J. F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about a lunchbox that heats up food with Calcium oxide and water? Imagine something like a thermos flask that's able to do that

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good news! The military has something similar!

    Load More Replies...
    #111

    It’s Time To Kill Space

    It’s Time To Kill Space

    diveonfire Report

    #112

    He Ain't Wrong

    He Ain't Wrong

    Briskey Report

    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never understood why the Americans started using "daddy" in a sexual way. That's beyond me

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who thought this was a good idea? Stink Mound Fried??

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son calls me dude, and I like that.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #113

    If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

    If Cat Not Enjoy Being Held,why Baby Sized?

    Juj_88 Report

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thats how they bait the trap for murder mittens and bitey teeth.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #114

    Moon’s Haunted

    Moon’s Haunted

    TheAlphaOmega21 Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that seems to be the US way of solving things. Just bring guns.

    Kimberly Young
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every problem looks like a nail when you have the biggest hammer.

    Load More Replies...
    Jo-anne Rogers
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you are taking the rock salt shotgun from supernatural, im not sure guns would help.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you have a phased plasma rifle, those ghosts aren't leaving!

    JuJu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that's just sailor moon and her posse

    Scott
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair.... Cosmonauts used to carry a combo shotgun/pistol (that fired ammo designed for the AK-47), so NASA's just playing catch up here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TP-82_Cosmonaut_survival_pistol

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Ghosts? Demons? -Worse : Chinese."

    View more comments
    #115

    Hottie Hot Take

    Hottie Hot Take

    nividdesai Report

    Rita Shapiro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where do the multitaskers go? I suppose if we adopted your new system they could commandeer the specially-marked mandatory trans bathrooms in Alabama, but that's too far to drive for most of us.

    kathoco
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it would have to pee "pee only" and "poop with an option to pee".

    Load More Replies...
    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THE SMELL!! The sounds! Maybe we just play loud music and spray stuff continuouslyto cover it up and nobody feels weird about publically pooping.

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe you can start a poop plopping and fart sounds band, like coordinate your sounds to be musical.

    #116

    Get Down Jeezy Boy

    Get Down Jeezy Boy

    TtTwichy21 Report

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *I shall not laugh, I must not laugh, I cannot laugh* *snorts*

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a long lapsed Catholic, I find that tweet highly offens... Who the f**k am I kidding? Those sorta shenanigans might make me give it another go.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #117

    Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

    Glorified Milk Carton By The Token White Friend

    spoonboyforkman Report

    N G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Milk cartons have a use!

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The shallowness runs deep

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Workers in Bangladesh don't earn much by North American standards, but they do get paid.

    surprised pikachu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i'm confused, what does she have to do with bangladeshi workers? and even then, can she really do anything about it? She probably has people who run the brand

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #118

    Inspiration : 100

    Inspiration : 100

    NOT-A-WISEMAN Report

    Jaded Queen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been fousing on my career since womb days. Should have foucoused on traveling more

    #119

    Well That’s A Pivot

    Well That’s A Pivot

    napqueen1 Report

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow she doesn't do things by halves.

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The true path to nirvana

    Anne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's some massage.. How many bored husbands are now looking at flights to India? lol

    #120

    Circumcise Me, Captain!

    Circumcise Me, Captain!

    bitchyswiftie Report

    Mazer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s so hard not to react to those little gems, once you do, you have lost years of hard won ground

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe mispronounced the Captain Crunch slogan, "Crunchatize me, captain!"

    Ben Stubbs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Young lad has been listening to a certain nautical song by the Sex Pistols?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #121

    Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

    Are You Saying Waluigi Has No Free Will

    Fanfic_Galore Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Luigi was only necessary for Waluigi's generation. Now the ritual is complete.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #122

    Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

    Just Everything About This Sentence To Be Honest

    Photmaus Report

    Apachebathmat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Makes a note to come back to life as a high AF cockney eel

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh man, i'm high off my ass, bruv." *begins swimming in circle* "Wooooooo."

    Load More Replies...
    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So London has nicotine addicted squirrels and fish high AF on coke. What next?

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ANOTHER problem?! How many problems do eels have? If it's alot, maybe they actually need the cocaine!

    #123

    See Ya Later

    See Ya Later

    harrygill1991 Report

    #124

    Makeup Brand New Lexicon

    Makeup Brand New Lexicon

    NuclearDawa Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #125

    When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

    When God Sings With His Creations, Will A Turtle Not Be Part Of The Choir?

    ThisIsOmeySalvi Report

    Troux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turtle sang in Three Amigos, turtle gonna sing in real life.

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    depends. can sheldon sing?

    QueerTheory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    one of my cats was named sheldon

    Raki Suzuki-burke
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone is a turtle, except the great leader Rak

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It hit peak popularity in about 1935, but even then it was ranked something like 249th.

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had a Sheldon classmate!

    PandaMonium
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spike Lee's real name is Shelton. Close to Sheldon.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #126

    Don’t Be A Fool

    Don’t Be A Fool

    Spacemann7 Report

    K Killian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time for Seth Rogen to make another animated flick.

    Kyler Lee
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this post just got me out of my prn addiction

    Eppe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's actually a trick your DNA plays to propagate into the next generation

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thou unborn art a fooleth. Ieth hathethesteth thouine callipygian alienseth.

    #127

    Diet Autism

    Diet Autism

    reddit.com Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Pro Tip: You can level up thou autism by doing creativity.

    #128

    Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

    Skeet Skeet Your New Daddy’s A Llama

    lem0nstealingwhore Report

    Amelie C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stay calmer if you want to harm a llama- call a llama farmer!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #129

    Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

    Being Medium Ugly Is Lit

    tbonemoe316 Report

    Marcia Cash
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    boyfriend told me "You're not beautiful, but your cute. That's great! Beauty fades, but cute is forever."

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #130

    Y'all Ever Just...

    Y'all Ever Just...

    genius23sarcasm Report

    Paradise
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe once. Then a giraffe came in and ruined it.

    A_BadlyDrawnBearPic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first I was like: The first rain in vears? Then I realized that the rest of the y is cropped out lol

    #131

    Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

    Suck Santa’s Dick Like The Rest Of Us

    chrsandersson Report

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haven't heard that version, but considering the meaning behind the original, there's no way that song works with "Santa Buddy."

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've listened to it... it's awkward, to say the least. Never been a fan of "Santa Baby", but this version was even worse.

    Load More Replies...
    #132

    Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

    Been A Longtime Lurker On This Sub. Finally Found One That Really Spoke To Me

    wholelottabread Report

    Troux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you take it off after the shower or just put on a form fitting shirt and wait for queries?

    Sista of the moon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No it cooks the noodle. S p a g h e t t i b o o b s

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #133

    Icy

    Icy

    khushbuuu_ Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who uses both, men's deodorant doesnt' last any longer.

    Troux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Explain your reasoning for using both and also any findings.

    Load More Replies...
    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer women's, for the same reasons. Especially the roll-on cream deodorants.

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mitchum Roll-On, unscented. Only thing that works. You're welcome.

    Monika Nagyova
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use Mitchum dry stick and spray, depends on what I need. No other brand ever worked for me.

    Load More Replies...
    Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Different deodorants have different effects on different people. What works for some, doesn’t work for others. People forget that a lot.

    TheBoredPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a female, I use men's deo mostly because I don't want to smell like a cucumber lime lavender rose.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #134

    This Scholarly Film Reviewer

    This Scholarly Film Reviewer

    ChrisMMatthews Report

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every Pixar Mom is built like a BelAZ.

    Autumn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I need pictures of Pixar moms too see if this is true

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    *fuccboi face*

    #135

    Checkmate, Aethiesm

    Checkmate, Aethiesm

    Shorya12 Report

    Troux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fits just as well around the body of a cobra. There's even room for two hands. Go with God.

    Dhukath
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is that some kind of euphemism for a hand-job!

    Scarlett Fox
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are so many Canada geese that live by my house, and they're such aggressive jerks it makes you want to throttle them

    Sarah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now, now. Be nice to the murderous widdle gooselets.

    Load More Replies...
    #136

    Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

    Unlicensed Rodeo Food Stand That Poisoned Eighty People

    Sleuthin___ Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #137

    I Want To Move To New Jersey

    I Want To Move To New Jersey

    A_Mei_Zing39 Report

    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's wrong with the old one? This is a terrible throw-away society!

    Pervinca
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not from the US, so, what's the problem with NJ?

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT