We're all guilty of lying from time to time for our own personal gain. And of course, no one's here to judge you, after all, it's a dog eat dog world so everyone deserves to do a little something to help themselves. But when you think about it, how do you separate an innocent white lie and legit nasty lie? Well, this series of tweets about people lying for personal gain will show you how far people will go in order to get what they want, and honestly, you can't really blame them, some even managed to get married to the love of their life just by fudging the truth a bit.
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My grandmother was taken to a nunnery as a little girl during the war in order to keep her out of the ghettos and death camps. Sadly though, after the war two thirds of the family was missing or deceased. Despite this, she went on to become a successful entrepreneur and married the love of her life -with whom she shared two sons with. She survived both the holocaust and Ovarian cancer (twice!) My grandma is still alive today at the ripe age of 90 and has six grandkids and five great grandchildren :)
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Easily done. I've got degrees, O & A levels, Masters, professional qualifications but I've never been asked to show them since I started gathering them 45 years ago!
The last grade I fully completed was grade 9. I am now the first aid attendant and security at a company and make more than $25 an hour. Not too shabby for someone who's been bullshitting her way through life since day one!!
That's very offensive. Please read my comment above and reconsider your choice of humour in future.
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Fair enough. Don't blame you one bit. Hope you ate ok that night.
My dad used to do this on nature walks. Found out years later that the 'lesser spotted throat warbler' was a thrush.
That reminds me of this 6 year old kid in our neighborhood. He saw a banana and said he didn't know what it was, so we let him eat one. It turned out he didn't know what any fruit was so we were always giving him some. We thought we were doing him a huge favor. Got talking to his mom one day who laughed and said he would say anything to get food and he was familiar with all kinds of fruit! We were so taken for a ride!
My sisters and I lied saying we were collecting for "Jerry's kids" because my mom did not have enough money to feed us four kids. We collected over $100.00 in the later 1970's and used that money to buy food for us. We felt we were just as needy as Jerry's kids.
I think that can be waived. Desperate times and all. I hope you don't feel too guilty.
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Not sure if this was a lie exactly, but our class had a pet snake. At the end of the year, there was a mouse that hadn't been eaten and my teacher said she'd be throwing it in the garbage. I'm not a crier, but I faked/forced tears after class to guilt her so that she'd give me the mouse instead. My parents weren't thrilled when they picked me up that day, but I got a new pet.
The teacher wanted to throw a living animal in the garbage? That’s really horrible.
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Me and my little brother both had Gameboys to play with. One day, my brother stole his allowance money from our parent's room that was taken away from him after disrespecting his teacher (Over 100 dollars) and tricked our grandpa into buying $125 worth of hot wheels cars and tracks, and that was more expensive than the mani-pedi my grandmother bought for me. When our mother found out, she took away both of our Gameboys for 5 months and banned us from shopping for toys and took away our allowance for good. So, 4 months later, I was allowed to play because I committed no crimes, and in doing so, my brother came over my shoulder and teased me repeatedly and shoved me around and called my pokemon weak (He does this repeatedly), so I threw my Gameboy out of anger. We are punished if we are caught throwing any electronics, so to cover it up, my brother said he wouldn't tell on me if I guarded for him while he played on his Gameboy so he wouldn't get caught, and if he was, he would tell on me. I agreed, and told a lie to my parents that we were getting along well and playing a board game. When they found out that this scheme was being concocted, My brother, a boy of his word, said that I threw the controller and added the additional lie that I punched him, so that I would get into more trouble than he did for playing Pokemon. We were both equally punished for the lies we told. We never saw those Gameboys again. Literally.
Sucks that your parents initially took both gameboys away even though your brother was the only one that deserved to be punished.
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I once convinced someone I was psychic. On the way to school I told the boy in my carpool that I could see the future and knew I would get a headache the next day. The next day I faked a headache and he was so freaked out!
I've been lying to everyone on Bored Panda ever since I created my account. I'm not really Ryo Bakura. I'm Zorc.
My parents lived near Seattle, WA while I attended college 116 miles away in Central Washington State. After speaking on the phone with my mother, we arrange the next time we would talk. "Call me tomorrow at 3" I said. "Ok..3pm your time..that would be 2pm my time..." she replied. Silence.."What are you talking about" I said... "We live in the same time zone." My mothers sigh of frustration as she says "I'm gonna kill your sister. She convinced me you were an hour ahead of us." Good one, sis...good one.
When he was growing up, my father was an incorrigible liar. His lies were never harmful, but they were great whoppers. I learned about this when I lived with my grandmother while attending college. At one point he told people that she had been born in Holland - she found out about this when someone was surprised she was from there. BTW Grandma was born in Minnesota.
When I was 9 years old I was a catholic girl living in an Irish town. In Ireland all Catholic girls went to an all girl school and the boys went to an all boys school. Also Prodestants and Catholics had different schools. Because of this I was the only girl in my estate who went to my school. I took advantage of this when after quite a heavy snowfall I got off 3 days off school by saying the school was closed because of frozen pipes. I only got caught out when my dad asked a friend whose daughter went my school "When will the school be open again" and the friend said "what are you talking about ?" , the school's not closed. " BUSTED BIG TIME. So it was a lecture from mum and dad and the principle and no TV for a couple of nights, but worth it (sort of).
My grandmother skipped the 5th grade by lying. She moved to a new town and said she was in the 6th grade so she could be with her friend. They asked for transcripts and she lied multiple times until they forgot.
At uni (in 1999) I couldn't be bothered handing in an essay on time. I wrote 3 pages or so of gibberish (like this; 0000 --'^) and told the tutor my floppy disk had corrupted when I tried to print it. Got a 24 hour extension.
I'm so pale that I look sick all the time I have used this more then once on the school nurse to get out of class
I had just moved back from Las Vegas and desperately needed a job. I got an interview for a cocktail waitress position at a prestigious local hotel because i lied on my resume. I told them that i had worked at MGM Grand and Cesar's palace as a bartender. In reality, i worked at a tiny mom & pop video arcade serving soda and fries to kids! Anyway, after my first shif the floor manager pulled me aside and angrily told me "you've never worked in a bar a day in your life and it shows." I stood there shaking knowing that i had been caught. Then she said "but i like your energy and attitude! So, starting tomorrow night, I'll work with you and train you properly.". It was the start of a ten year tenure as a bartender/waitress! I even made employee of the month one year for four months straight!!
TJler, I hate to burst your bubble, but everytime you are unkind, rude or just blatantly cruel in your comments you are in fact lying to your child. At this time in her life she believes you to be her Hero, to be her Champion for all things good, and to most of all never let anyone treat her as you do others. I hope that she never finds out you lied to her, that you can one day be proud enough to show her your pride and love for her shared on the internet, and I hope no one ever insults her or makes her feel less than her worth, as you try to do to other peoples children, no matter how old they may be now.
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Many years ago, my cousin Mark went to work in an American summer camp (we're from the UK). He hated it, but they wouldn't let him just leave. So he and his parents cooked up a scheme where his dad phoned the camp and said that his mother was having a breakdown, she was missing him so much, and his mum was wailing loudly in the background 'is that Marky? I want my Marky!' and so on. So the camp let Mark come home. They are the coolest aunt and uncle!
They wouldn't let him leave? They couldn't force him to stay there. This doesn't make any sense.
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I had never made my Confirmation but went to Cathlic School through 2nd grade till it closed due to lack of funds. I also attended the same church since birth along with a group of friends that I grew up with. Years later when I was getting married I needed proof of my Baptism, my Communion and my Confirmation. Well the church had my Baptism and my Communion on record and the fact that I did attend their school but could not for the life of the find my Confirmation records. Since I grew up with the same group of friends that attended the church and all made theirs I just started rambling off names of people that I 'most definitely' made my confirmation with. Since they all were in the book it 'must' have bern a mistake! The Secretary of the Church signed off on my papers and wished me well... I'm going to hell =/
At orientation for high school, they were starting a fund raiser for my class. They were giving us boxes of candy to sell. All we had to do was give them our name. It was too easy, I gave the guy a wrong name and took off with two boxes of candy. I sold one and ate the other. He didn't check the name against a list, he just wrote it down.
I was a chat room host for 6 years. My profile: 25 yo gay man. Truth? 50yo woman
My favourite was probably the one by Keith Spy Jet, where he copied the key... If I did any of these my mum and dad would kill me.
Man, they are some pretty awful people out there. I get being in a bad spot and making a poor decision, but these people are proud(?) of their sorrieness?
In the early days of the internet, before you could easily reverse search things, I stole a poem I found and told my best friend, who really was a poet, that I wrote it. I was so impressed by her artistic abilities and desperately wanted to be able to write like her, but instead I was just a liar and a thief. Still feel terrible about it.
Okay, there are lies, and then there are the psychopathic confessions above. Some seriously messed up people out there!
My sisters and I lied saying we were collecting for "Jerry's kids" because my mom did not have enough money to feed us four kids. We collected over $100.00 in the later 1970's and used that money to buy food for us. We felt we were just as needy as Jerry's kids.
I think that can be waived. Desperate times and all. I hope you don't feel too guilty.
Load More Replies... Not sure if this was a lie exactly, but our class had a pet snake. At the end of the year, there was a mouse that hadn't been eaten and my teacher said she'd be throwing it in the garbage. I'm not a crier, but I faked/forced tears after class to guilt her so that she'd give me the mouse instead. My parents weren't thrilled when they picked me up that day, but I got a new pet.
The teacher wanted to throw a living animal in the garbage? That’s really horrible.
Load More Replies... Me and my little brother both had Gameboys to play with. One day, my brother stole his allowance money from our parent's room that was taken away from him after disrespecting his teacher (Over 100 dollars) and tricked our grandpa into buying $125 worth of hot wheels cars and tracks, and that was more expensive than the mani-pedi my grandmother bought for me. When our mother found out, she took away both of our Gameboys for 5 months and banned us from shopping for toys and took away our allowance for good. So, 4 months later, I was allowed to play because I committed no crimes, and in doing so, my brother came over my shoulder and teased me repeatedly and shoved me around and called my pokemon weak (He does this repeatedly), so I threw my Gameboy out of anger. We are punished if we are caught throwing any electronics, so to cover it up, my brother said he wouldn't tell on me if I guarded for him while he played on his Gameboy so he wouldn't get caught, and if he was, he would tell on me. I agreed, and told a lie to my parents that we were getting along well and playing a board game. When they found out that this scheme was being concocted, My brother, a boy of his word, said that I threw the controller and added the additional lie that I punched him, so that I would get into more trouble than he did for playing Pokemon. We were both equally punished for the lies we told. We never saw those Gameboys again. Literally.
Sucks that your parents initially took both gameboys away even though your brother was the only one that deserved to be punished.
Load More Replies... I once convinced someone I was psychic. On the way to school I told the boy in my carpool that I could see the future and knew I would get a headache the next day. The next day I faked a headache and he was so freaked out!
I've been lying to everyone on Bored Panda ever since I created my account. I'm not really Ryo Bakura. I'm Zorc.
My parents lived near Seattle, WA while I attended college 116 miles away in Central Washington State. After speaking on the phone with my mother, we arrange the next time we would talk. "Call me tomorrow at 3" I said. "Ok..3pm your time..that would be 2pm my time..." she replied. Silence.."What are you talking about" I said... "We live in the same time zone." My mothers sigh of frustration as she says "I'm gonna kill your sister. She convinced me you were an hour ahead of us." Good one, sis...good one.
When he was growing up, my father was an incorrigible liar. His lies were never harmful, but they were great whoppers. I learned about this when I lived with my grandmother while attending college. At one point he told people that she had been born in Holland - she found out about this when someone was surprised she was from there. BTW Grandma was born in Minnesota.
When I was 9 years old I was a catholic girl living in an Irish town. In Ireland all Catholic girls went to an all girl school and the boys went to an all boys school. Also Prodestants and Catholics had different schools. Because of this I was the only girl in my estate who went to my school. I took advantage of this when after quite a heavy snowfall I got off 3 days off school by saying the school was closed because of frozen pipes. I only got caught out when my dad asked a friend whose daughter went my school "When will the school be open again" and the friend said "what are you talking about ?" , the school's not closed. " BUSTED BIG TIME. So it was a lecture from mum and dad and the principle and no TV for a couple of nights, but worth it (sort of).
My grandmother skipped the 5th grade by lying. She moved to a new town and said she was in the 6th grade so she could be with her friend. They asked for transcripts and she lied multiple times until they forgot.
At uni (in 1999) I couldn't be bothered handing in an essay on time. I wrote 3 pages or so of gibberish (like this; 0000 --'^) and told the tutor my floppy disk had corrupted when I tried to print it. Got a 24 hour extension.
I'm so pale that I look sick all the time I have used this more then once on the school nurse to get out of class
I had just moved back from Las Vegas and desperately needed a job. I got an interview for a cocktail waitress position at a prestigious local hotel because i lied on my resume. I told them that i had worked at MGM Grand and Cesar's palace as a bartender. In reality, i worked at a tiny mom & pop video arcade serving soda and fries to kids! Anyway, after my first shif the floor manager pulled me aside and angrily told me "you've never worked in a bar a day in your life and it shows." I stood there shaking knowing that i had been caught. Then she said "but i like your energy and attitude! So, starting tomorrow night, I'll work with you and train you properly.". It was the start of a ten year tenure as a bartender/waitress! I even made employee of the month one year for four months straight!!
TJler, I hate to burst your bubble, but everytime you are unkind, rude or just blatantly cruel in your comments you are in fact lying to your child. At this time in her life she believes you to be her Hero, to be her Champion for all things good, and to most of all never let anyone treat her as you do others. I hope that she never finds out you lied to her, that you can one day be proud enough to show her your pride and love for her shared on the internet, and I hope no one ever insults her or makes her feel less than her worth, as you try to do to other peoples children, no matter how old they may be now.
Load More Replies... Many years ago, my cousin Mark went to work in an American summer camp (we're from the UK). He hated it, but they wouldn't let him just leave. So he and his parents cooked up a scheme where his dad phoned the camp and said that his mother was having a breakdown, she was missing him so much, and his mum was wailing loudly in the background 'is that Marky? I want my Marky!' and so on. So the camp let Mark come home. They are the coolest aunt and uncle!
They wouldn't let him leave? They couldn't force him to stay there. This doesn't make any sense.
Load More Replies... I had never made my Confirmation but went to Cathlic School through 2nd grade till it closed due to lack of funds. I also attended the same church since birth along with a group of friends that I grew up with. Years later when I was getting married I needed proof of my Baptism, my Communion and my Confirmation. Well the church had my Baptism and my Communion on record and the fact that I did attend their school but could not for the life of the find my Confirmation records. Since I grew up with the same group of friends that attended the church and all made theirs I just started rambling off names of people that I 'most definitely' made my confirmation with. Since they all were in the book it 'must' have bern a mistake! The Secretary of the Church signed off on my papers and wished me well... I'm going to hell =/
At orientation for high school, they were starting a fund raiser for my class. They were giving us boxes of candy to sell. All we had to do was give them our name. It was too easy, I gave the guy a wrong name and took off with two boxes of candy. I sold one and ate the other. He didn't check the name against a list, he just wrote it down.
I was a chat room host for 6 years. My profile: 25 yo gay man. Truth? 50yo woman
My favourite was probably the one by Keith Spy Jet, where he copied the key... If I did any of these my mum and dad would kill me.
Man, they are some pretty awful people out there. I get being in a bad spot and making a poor decision, but these people are proud(?) of their sorrieness?
In the early days of the internet, before you could easily reverse search things, I stole a poem I found and told my best friend, who really was a poet, that I wrote it. I was so impressed by her artistic abilities and desperately wanted to be able to write like her, but instead I was just a liar and a thief. Still feel terrible about it.
Okay, there are lies, and then there are the psychopathic confessions above. Some seriously messed up people out there!
