30 Women Are Sharing Spot-On Questions From Their Therapists That Made Everything Click

The most prevalent form of abuse is the kind that does not leave bruises.

It was only when I was recovering from an abusive relationship after my marriage ended that I realised my marriage was also an abusive relationship. My ex-husband never got physical but he was emotionally abusive as well as financially abusive and sexually abusive by withholding affection from me.

And after, you find institutional women violence, too - police, judges, media, etc.

I remember wishing he'd hit me so I'd have proof. 🤷

Realising this whilst in the relationship is the worst for me.

This was key to beating my depression, when I realized that I couldn't remember what I was worrying about a week ago. That meant that what I was worrying about now wouldn't matter next week, so maybe it wasn't as big as I made it to be.

At the time, it can easily feel like yes, it will matter 5 years from now

Such good advice. So hard to remember when needed.

This is my personal mantra. Sometimes, for the most part it works, and at other times . . .

Yes. It will hurt me my entire life

If I had FIVE cats - we only have two- this would be so easy to answer.

Actually making others happy, makes me happy. I like making birthday and chrissie gifts, I love treating friends/family to lunch, brekkie etc, I don't do it out of obligation, I do it out of joy for myself and bringing joy to others.

everyone list 5 things! mine: cats, not having to clean my house (but i have to), not having to make dinner (but i have to), playing video games and achievement hunter.

I'm glad that I don't have that sort of problem! I have a lot of things that make me happy, and basically all of them my wife also enjoys.

I am a very reactive and emotional person with anger issues. Was diagnosed with ADD 2 weeks ago and started meds last week, hopefully they will help.

We can be made to think our feelings are irrelevant, silly, emotional, and if our thoughts and feelings are different from the 'families' then they are wrong X

I found out lately that my "anger issues" were actually emotions that I don't understand. They used to trigger some "fight or flee" instinct. I actually just need time to process those things. I don't have "anger issues" anymore since I was diagnosed with ASD earlier this year. I'm 36...

I was finally diagnosed with asperger syndrome at the age of 40 but my years growing up with awful I was emotionally neglected by a mother who just didn't understand and abused by my stepfather because I wouldn't break.

I feed off of others emotions. Definitely not healthy

I think it's pretty normal for children to seek their parents approval, even as adults. But when it impacts you negatively then of course there is an issue that you need to resolve within yourself. You can't change how others act, but you can change the way you act. (Of course easier said than done).

I had to set boundaries with a few family members that are toxic to me. My mother for one.... she couldn't just be supportive in my recovery from addiction. She was always negative and let me know what a screw up I was. I call her every other day and see her 1 day a week just so I know she's ok. I love her and want her in life but I cant deal with her toxic ways. She's my biggest trigger.

I gave up on my parents when I was 10. It was very cathartic (for me)

The real-world answer to that is: Because someday, I may need something from them, and actually get it. That's one reason people put up with family members even though there's little love or liking there, because someday they may need a loan or a place to live. (Of course, if you've realized that they'll never help you or recognize your needs, life is a lot simpler in some ways.)

My sister Lydia..HECK NA but everyone else (minus my dads side of the family) YAS and the family friends! My dad does not count on his side of family my papa made a racist FB post.we don't talk to him or about him anymore

Often when living in a disfunctional family people tend to become rather isolated, as cutting people out of their lives is the most effective way of hidding the truth. E.g. a child who never has any friends over so they won't see how drunk mom is. This, however, will often cause some rather fragile friendships that quickly fall apart. Hence most people from nonfunctioning families are often rather lonely and have no supportive network who can assist with the breakup with the familiy. Leaving a family, even if you don't like them, therefore often becomes an overwhelming task, since the company they can offer is still seen as better than being completely on your own. Another important aspect is that most people think of what they experience in their family to be pretty standand, and hence do not realise that they can make other, and better, kinds of connections to some other humans. We are pretty stuck with our families and hence quite dedicated to do what it takes to make it work.

This is something I managed to figure out on my own. No, I wouldn't be friends with my relatives.

Needed that.