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Going on LinkedIn is very much like going through the looking glass into Bizarre-O Land. It’s a wild ride. Maybe you spot a few genuinely good briefs with some practical advice in your feed, shared by seasoned industry veterans. Then you sidestep a hundred or so people robotically bragging about how they’re so grateful/happy to quit/start a position at their old/new job. At this point, you’re so deep down the rabbit hole that you start noticing the most awful stuff that LinkedIn has to offer—clearly fake, extremely cringy self-promo posts that ‘professionals’ write for views and likes.

You know, the ones where CEOs, recruiters, and high-flying managers do their best to seem human while they offer banal, double-spaced ‘wisdom’ just to stay relevant online. JR Hickey, from California, shares the very worst examples of brain-rotting content on his ‘The Best of LinkedIn’ Twitter page. Scroll down to check out the very worst LinkedInfluencers’ posts and remember to upvote the ones that made you facepalm.

JR, the founder of @BestofLinkedin, answered Bored Panda's questions about why these LinkedInfluencers behave the way that they do, as well as what LI users could do to stand out without resorting to lying online. Read on for our full interview!

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Annie 1973
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cancelled my dentist appointment this morning because I had no energy to shower and I really need to shower. So I cancelled the appointment and went back to bed.

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Full Name
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Yesterday I woke up at 5:30, two hours before I went to bed..."

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BewilderedBanana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

did you also work 29 hours a day at the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to go to work? :)

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Kate Jones
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that's great but why do you feel the need to post it? It's not to inspire because if it was it wouldn't be phrased this way. It's to shame others who can't actually do that. You had a 16 hour day because you didn't have to pick your kids up from the sitter. You had a 16 hour day because you didn't figure out how to manage your job around your schooling better. You had a 16 hour day because you chose to go to school and you're also paying for it so...you don't get a cookie. And I'm not sure why you think that should be celebrated or, worse, shame others who aren't as free to do that as you are. I worked all through school, too, I didn't make posts about it. And, by the way, none of that guarantees a job when you get out, either. Props for being able to do it but you shaming those who can't just shows your sh!tty character.

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Ben
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually if was a 16 1/2 hour day if you include the first 30 minutes. She is so humble rounding it down to 16.

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Cuppa tea?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she didn't mention she then cooked her family dinner for 2 hours, spend another hour doing her kids homework, then watched TV for 2 hours before 8 hours sleep.

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Rindra Ramamonjisoa
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you own your success: no need to poop, no need to shower, no need to breakfast

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Barbara Kelly
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Annnnnd the Self-Absorbed Braggart of the Year Award goes to......

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Alecto76
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Today I woke up at 8 am after slapping my alarm since 7 and rolled into work at 10 with my hair in a messy pony tail, no makeup and the same jeans I wore yesterday. I then skipped the gym because everyone was being obnoxious on the crowded bus and I decided I needed a beer instead. Now I'm up too late waiting for my pizza to cook. Because I am DEDICATED to being average and fine with it.

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Tugg Ster
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

16 hour work day? most responsible adults do every day... up, fix everyone's brkfst, get them all ready to go wherever, work out, shower yourself, feed the dog, go work 8-10 hours, go to an activity for at least one kid, chauffeur home, fix dinner, help with homework, laundry, lunches made, give your significant other some attention, shower... and repeat. She is living in east street.

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SAF saf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I question Sarah's claim here. So she worked at a university and then attended classes at the same Location? She may be juicing those numbers. Also folks, Please don't think you can consistently drive you car with less than 6hrs of nightly sleep on a routine basis.

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Dr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sarah, lots of people do this too. There are many women out there living in poverty who have 2 or 3 jobs, children, and who are sometimes also studying. Bet your salary isn't bad. STFU.

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Charlotte Sandoval
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My toddler allowed me to poop today as long as I held her on my lap. It's a bigger success and it also took 16hrs

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Bruce Horton
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have no problem with ambitious people and don't understand the pride people take in throwing shade at people who do.

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RomanceRadish
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many people who have paid jobs plus caregiver responsibilities work this many, or more, hours.

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Freeasabird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most mums do that without thinking about it let alone boasting online about it.

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Quentin ingulfumble
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i did 16 hours yesterday. thats why i did absolutely f**k all today. i too am dedicated to my own success, but i have an urge to keep hold of my few remaining marbles at the same time.

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Mike Fitzpatrick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And cured the common cold, old age etc? I mean, c'mon Sarah, you have more hours left unused and sleep is overrated anyway.

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Niall Mac Iomera
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, that's an 8 hour work day, and 6 hours of class, with a 2 hour commute.

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Anxiousguest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've worked like this and sometimes even more. Not even once I felt proud. I just felt sad about the dystopian world I live in , and prayed to God to help me survive and to make the world a better place for future generations

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astrid
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and 50 years later you lay in your bed wishing you had done more with your life instead of dedicating every second to work and missing every important moment while putting others down for not doing the exact same

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The_OG_Catlady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congratulations Sarah to the start of your severe burnout. Making insane hours is nothing to be applauded for. You are not a hero.

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Brian “BB” B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She says "work day" if you do the math it's only 14 hrs. By her rules any single parent has 18hr work days, when I worked management I often put in 16-18hrs of work not including travel time and time I woke up

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Penny Kemper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually commute does could as work day. I've never counted my drive... 40 miles or 10 miles. Not getting paid for it

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Christof Irran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief! I made it to #4, but that's it. I give up. I can't take one more.

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Alewa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did that once. I guess we've all been there, done that every once in a while.

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Marcellus II
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He'll do it again also because he has a wife at home that resents him & wants him out.

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Bored Panda was interested in JR's take as to why some LinkedIn users go to such great lengths to create fake stories and soulless reposts. We were curious to hear his thoughts on what their end goals might be.

"For a lot of these so-called 'LinkedInfluencers,' this is the first time they’ve had a platform of any size, so one of their end goals is to simply not lose their platform," the founder of @BestofLinkedin said.

"This is why they resort to copy and paste style posts that they’ve seen go 'viral' on the platform from other LinkedIn users. Basically, it’s like the kid who nobody was friends with who starts copying the other kids to get recognized/fit in. It works, but at the end of the day they’re not being authentic or true to themselves," he said.

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HogHedge
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5 people died and he's bragging about his new job. Because, hey they're gone now and life moves on, right?

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Unfortunately, JR pointed out that there isn't really a clear or concise solution for how LinkedIn users could stand out from the crowd without becoming LinkedInfluencers. However, being authentic can help a lot.

"The internet is undefeated in sniffing out if somebody is full of [dung]. The way people get truly loyal/responsive followings is if what they’re presenting to the world is as close to or at least a version of their authentic self as possible," he told Bored Panda.

JR gave us a specific example of how this works. He actually practices what he preaches. For instance, he has a TikTok account called 'That's A Nice Touch,' @thatsanicetouch, where he goes around pointing out all the nice touches he finds around the world.

"It’s a little obnoxious and corny, but it’s a version of my personality that’s actually there, and that’s why people like it."

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Corvus
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were the hotel manager, I'd totally ask him to pay for this coffee machine.

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LinkedIn is huge on the internet. A whopping 830 million people use it in over 200 countries. So it’s hard to avoid making a profile if you’re looking for a job or want to make it easier for others to find you online.

At its core, the idea of LI doesn’t sound all that bad on paper: it’s all about networking with other professionals, looking for new jobs/talented individuals, and sharing awesome insights with one another. In practice, however… well, like any ‘regular’ social media site, LI has devolved into a weird digital space where job industry pros are trying to out-flex each other.

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Some of these industry veterans resort to ridiculous measures to get attention. Like outright fabricating stories and bragging about how much overtime they work (weddings, birthdays, kids being born—it doesn’t matter to them).

They also try to turn boring everyday events into ‘deep’ tales about morality. A select few shamelessly copy someone else’s ideas by listing them in a slightly different format (it’s not that hard to credit the original creators, people!). While others see it as their ‘calling’ to comment on random stuff on popular users’ posts to show everyone how wonderfully active and clever they are.

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There are some competent and interesting people posting on the site, but there are far too few of them. It makes sense why we’ve seen so many strange posts popping up on LinkedIn. If you want to have a strong online presence and have tons of people looking at your products and services, you need to stay relevant.

It also feels good to have people praise you for your insights and share your posts across LinkedIn and pretty much anywhere on the internet or in real life. The simple fact is that people want respect, adoration, and wealth.

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Jason
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom is always on her phone at the park. She doesn't even know where I am. I bet if you send her a message on social media she will respond

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A part of gaining a following on the internet comes down to luck. But there are some things that you can control, including posting consistently, making your content relevant, and trying to share some unique interpretations of current work trends and events.

That’s why you have so many folks being incredibly active on LI, trying to have an opinion on everything and anything. Some of them are desperate to stand out but don’t know what to write about, so they go a bit… wild with their [cough] imaginations [cough].

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Sad Quokka
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My version - I was on my way to the interview but I saw a cat stuck in a tree, so I chose not to go to the interview and rescued the cat instead and ruined my new suit. It turns out that the cat was the interviewer and hired me on the spot

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Jason
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strangely enough I have been using please and thank you for almost 4 decades and never assumed people would want to give me things for being a decent human being

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California-based JR, the founder of ‘The Best of LinkedIn’ calls out the very worst of the bunch on his Twitter page. The last time that Bored Panda featured his account, he told us about the origins of @BestOfLinkedin.

"Back in 2018, I was an Account Executive for a SaaS company in San Francisco. I had a boss who was a dinosaur—his idea of a good follow-up to a meeting was mailing laminated copies of the deck we presented to the prospect after the fact. The phrase, 'Stop by Kinko's' was uttered a few times in my short tenure there (Kinko's was dropped by FedEx in 2008, ten years prior)." At the time, a pretty significant chunk of JR’s job involved cold-calling on LinkedIn.

"I was already dissatisfied with my role, my career, and the company, so spending a few hours a day on LinkedIn just about pushed me over the edge. I began seeing the first inklings of these so-called 'LinkedInfluencers' and started screenshotting their posts and sharing them on my personal Twitter account. Once those gained traction, I decided to create a dedicated Twitter account for it, and thus, @BestOfLinkedin was born,” he told us during an earlier interview.

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Adam Zad
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Courage is working in your p**s-soaked pants. Intelligence is changing out of them. Planning is bringing spare pants to change into.

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"I would say the best way to describe LinkedIn's culture is 'downright demented.' It's just a giant back-patting circle/echo chamber where people aren't even telling a version of the truth anymore," he said that the LI network is full of fabricated posts.

"It's unoriginal sellouts who regurgitate corporate buzzwords and stories of incredible business acumen in an effort to game the LinkedIn algorithm and try to hide the fact that there isn't a single thing that's interesting about them. And nobody will call them out, for fear of losing their job or it blowing back on them professionally.”

According to JR, “the entire platform lacks accountability, which is insane because its intention initially was to be just that.” It’s not all black and white, however.

LinkedIn does have its upsides, like being a pretty good place to read business news, as well as to find jobs, recruit talented people for your company, and network with others in the industry.

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Olivia Lisbon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbh I made my dad go to a Spice Girls concert with me, which he also hated, but in my defence I was 12.

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Jason
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My toddler just tells me he's the boss when I ask him to do something. Does this count?

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"It's a valuable business development tool but sadly it's been watered down by these self-proclaimed 'LinkedInfluencers' and their BS success stories. LinkedIn could improve the user experience drastically by focusing on moderating these posts and suppressing them when they don't offer anything valuable," JR, the founder of ‘The Best of LinkedIn,’ said.

"If the only reason you're posting on LinkedIn is to show off a picture of yourself with a story about how you were called 'too pretty' to be in business then your post will be taken down. If you aren't sharing anything educational or valuable, and instead are attributing incredible management advice from your FIVE YEAR OLD, your account will be banned. Sadly, I wish this was an easy fix, but LinkedIn has replicated every other social media platform and become another runaway train of trash," he told Bored Panda.

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N Miller
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I'm disappointed this is being used for shameless self-marketing, because I'm fully prepared to believe that, outside of LinkedIn, this conversation did happen, based solely on genuine real world conversations (about Alexa and Siri, but the gist is the same) with my then 6-year-old nibling.

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"LinkedInfluencers, for how much 'expertise' they have, have some of the thinnest skins on the Internet. Because they 'create' their content strictly for LinkedIn, where nobody criticizes or calls them out, they lose their minds when an account like @BestOfLinkedin does. Personally, I've created content for over a decade now in the forms of comedy, podcasting videos, and articles," JR told Bored Panda.

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Olivia Lisbon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure, you’ll get a better “reply rate” if you offer to work for free. But you’ll also drown in debt.

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"When you create anything for the Internet, there's going to be 50% or more people who hate it. So you have to know that criticism comes with the territory. But when a LinkedInfluencer sees me poke fun at them for @BestofLinkedin? Oftentimes they don't know what to do with themselves. Usually, they'll try to doxx me or get me fired. Good luck, I'm a freelance Creative Director and don't have a boss. I get paid to write things for social media and more. So yeah, I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to. If you don't like what's being said about you on the Internet, the proper response isn't to take your ball and run home. Or worse, take your ball and run and tell your parents."

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Jason
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would have been icing on the cake if she mentioned the open positions

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Shyla Bouche
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would anyone shake a beta? It's poor little fishy brain would get all bollocked up!

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Hotdogking
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alright, time for me to ruin the picture for everyone. Anyone else notice the fact that he’s photoshopped into the car?

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Note: this post originally had 66 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.