This Guy Bought His Whole Family A DNA Test For Christmas And It Turned Their Lives Upside Down
At-home DNA test kits are being advertised everywhere as the perfect gift idea, playing on people’s natural curiosity about themselves and promising closer connections with family as they learn of their shared connections. This knowledge can quite easily turn out to be a curse, however, as skeletons in the closet can emerge to tear families apart. Some secrets are kept secret for a good reason.
Image credits: Steve Garfield
This story, shared on the subreddit TIFU is a perfect example of why a Christmas gift of DNA kit to your family members is probably a terrible idea. I mean, 99% of the time the most groundbreaking thing you are likely to find out is some interesting Lithuanian heritage, but what if you were to discover something that you weren’t supposed to discover accidentally? There are a time and a place for a paternity test and the inconvenient truths that comes with it, and around the family Christmas tree certainly isn’t it!
So this time, there was a happy ending for this family. But let this be a warning as to what could happen! By all means, treat yourself to a DNA testing kit and enjoy exploring your ancestry and heritage. But maybe stick to books and socks for the fam, skipping the uber unique gifts?
Here’s how people reacted to the cautionary tale, some shared stories of their own
'Be gentle and considerate of folks." Best advice ever, anywhere.
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And when that doesn't work, I find swift and brutal violence gets results.
The thing that most people don't appreciate when they do these tests is that they're giving the companies that conduct them their complete medical genetic make-up forever. Not only that though, the companies can infer with fair-to-amazing accuracy the medical genetics of relations who have deliberately avoided being tested for their own person and private reasons. This information is a Pandora's box, and it can and will be used in the future in ways that most people today cannot fathom. Our societies are not prepared for the fall-out from this technology...
That is true, but I do believe that you have to click the little "I agree" box on the site to allow this. I did 23andMe and MyHeritageDNA company's tests and I remember having to agree to things. I didn't mind. I don't care. Let them use my DNA and genetic code for whatever reasons they need-- it might help people in the future. I've got nothing to lose, after all. And I'm glad to be a part of it all.
I feel the same, Molly. I have several autoimmune diseases. They have no cure. No current effective treatment. No research done to see whether they're hereditary or not, and are frequently misdiagnosed. If my DNA can help my children, grandchildren, or someone else's babies one day to not live in pain and suffer like I am, then giving up my genetic information is worth it.
If it would be for the good of all. But if it is, we do not know. You have nothing to lose? Well, your idebtity and your freedom!
I am always sceptical about these things. The first thing I think this could and probably will be used for is medical insurance companies. They will know what people in your family died from and refuse to insure you. On the other hand medical research could benefit, also finding the best candidates for clinical trials.
Dian Ella Lillie, This is something that I hadn't considered. Can you show me where your research has led you to this conclusion? I am generally interested in this topic. I haven't done a test yet but have been tossing it around for awhile now. I am wondering if there is something we can do now to prevent this from happening in the future.
I wouldn't take this test for all the tea in China. You are giving away something very private, to a company you don't know, for no good reason. In the near future it could be used for soooo many evil things, such as rejecting your medical insurance because of your genetic profile... The best thing to prevent this from happening is simple: DO NOT GIVE AWAY THIS KIND OF CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION. NEVER.
Maria Hermida, if and when, ANY government will decide to collect DNA samples of its citizens, this will be done (or is now in process) WITHOUT asking YOUR permission. You are a number for them, nothing else.
There have already been reports about how these companies are cooperating with various authorities (local and federal) without court orders. They just show up, ask for it, and it's given to them. There are laws preventing various law enforcement agencies from sharing this sort of information, but done of those laws bar private companies from giving it to said agencies. Or insurance companies. Or anyone. A number of criminal cases have been solved because the authorities had DNA evidence left by a perpetrator and when it was compared to test results from these companies, it pointed to a relative of someone who had a DNA test done by one of the companies.
Related to what Dian says: www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2017/03/14/gop-bill-could-force-employees-to-undergo-dna-testing-or-pay-thousands/#5ef07b0c71fe
I have taken the 23andMe test. You have to agree to have your results aggregated to be used for medical and genetic testing. If you click 'no', it isn't used. I have several autoimmune diseases. They have no cure. No current effective treatment. No research done to see whether they're hereditary or not, and are frequently misdiagnosed. If my DNA can help my children, grandchildren, or someone else's babies one day to not live in pain and suffer like I am, then giving up my genetic information is worth it. For the most part, any connections with these companies are done from pharmacetical companies and research laboratories who receive aggregated (non-personalized) data, stripped of your actual identifying information, in order to research diseases, cures, and treatments. Everyone freaking out is jumping on a conspiracy bandwagon. Notice, many say they haven't taken the tests- meaning they haven't seen the member's only side of the sites, where you have to agree to when/if/how to share.
I think these tests have resulted in criminals being found through similarity in DNA. I guess if you aren't a criminal and don't have criminals in your family you really don't have much to worry about. I know adopted kids are finding parents that may or may not want to be found. And children of sperm donors are finding out they are related and the donors really didn't want anything to do with them.
I've also read that DNA companies are already striking deals with insurance companies... imagine not being covered because you carry the gene that may give you a particular disease?
Debbie, they are also finding identities of cold case John/Jane Doe through similarity in public DNA results. I'm definitely in favor of both those uses.
Not to alarm you, but many places already have your genetic makeup. They also know when you're sleeping and when you're awake. No, that's not a joke.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I agree. Far too many paranoid people on here.
Welcome to Gattaca...
Cool movie.
People are forgetting the very easy and simple get-around to this. Take your test anonymously with a fake name and there is no link back to you. No scary insurance rejections, no scary Big Brother interference. And if you're worried that you'll still be "in the system", again, they have no connection from your DNA to your identify. And if they DO...AND you've give false information then there are bigger issues to worry about. I administer tests for several people who have used pseudonyms, I purchased the tests and it's all done through my account with my email and my address.
And then several family members also do it, and as a result of their results, both your real identity AND alias are on record.
Oh, we fathomed it back in the nineties. "Gattaca" is that future. Genetic testing will be used to determine the entire course of a person's life, including whether they are born. Question is, will we ever be ready and can we really stop the inevitable.
Random thought: Gattaca looked like a society pre-Brave New World to me. These two stories feel connected.
Agree 100%
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I just ordered a 23and me kit on Christmas Day before the sale ended. Now I’m a little worried. I didn’t buy the Ancestry one, because everyone knows the Ancestry Co is part of the Mormon Church and they are compiling all these historical records, and DNA info and storing them FOREVER due to their religious beliefs. I thought I could dodge that with 23and me. Oh well : /
Ancestry is owned by members of the church, not the church itself. The church compiles historical records, not DNA. We believe that families can be together after this life, so we seek out records to help us trace our family. We then perform the ordinances on their behalf. DNA testing is neither required nor encouraged. Also, if you set your Ancestry info to private, no one, not even the church, can see your info. I am much more comfortable with the Ancestry test than the 23andMe test. Did you know that hidden in the failed healthcare reform bills of 2017 was a little section that would have allowed employers to test and have access your health DNA tests? What do our bosses need with that info?
Send kits to the Kardashians.... Now that would make FANTASTIC TV.... especially when Khloe's father wasn't a lawyer but a hairdresser....
Send them to politicians. I bet that'd be one big pile of dna-cr*p...
Im not the first to say this, and I wont be the last! NO Kardashian TV is fantastic TV!!! I think we have ALL seen enough of that ridiculous family! (and no matter how outrageous the results, nothing would be a surprise to ANYONE!)
Now thats the only way you will catch me watch the karTRASHians
It took me a couple of minutes to check that Khloe Kardashian did 23andMe, she was 58 percent European, 41.6 percent Middle Eastern. I have no interest in the Kardashians but I do in respectful ancestry research, also I wouldn't want my family members subjected to unpleasant gossip and I'm sure you wouldn't either. That goes for Luke Hancock commenting below too.
If you don't want to subject your family to gossip you shouldn't sell your whole life to the media. It's that simple. People gossip, so if you don't like it, keep your private affairs private.
OJ Simpson was a hair dresser??
OJ was a hair dresser?
I heard rumors that he was a football player who was also acquitted in a murder trial.
She did do DNA testing! And her mother really is her mother. I thought that was hysterical. Her motherhood was not in question, and never was.
I thought it was OJ?
I'm surprised they haven't done that yet honestly, whether it ends up being true or not
Maybe they have.
'Be gentle and considerate of folks." Best advice ever, anywhere.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
And when that doesn't work, I find swift and brutal violence gets results.
The thing that most people don't appreciate when they do these tests is that they're giving the companies that conduct them their complete medical genetic make-up forever. Not only that though, the companies can infer with fair-to-amazing accuracy the medical genetics of relations who have deliberately avoided being tested for their own person and private reasons. This information is a Pandora's box, and it can and will be used in the future in ways that most people today cannot fathom. Our societies are not prepared for the fall-out from this technology...
That is true, but I do believe that you have to click the little "I agree" box on the site to allow this. I did 23andMe and MyHeritageDNA company's tests and I remember having to agree to things. I didn't mind. I don't care. Let them use my DNA and genetic code for whatever reasons they need-- it might help people in the future. I've got nothing to lose, after all. And I'm glad to be a part of it all.
I feel the same, Molly. I have several autoimmune diseases. They have no cure. No current effective treatment. No research done to see whether they're hereditary or not, and are frequently misdiagnosed. If my DNA can help my children, grandchildren, or someone else's babies one day to not live in pain and suffer like I am, then giving up my genetic information is worth it.
If it would be for the good of all. But if it is, we do not know. You have nothing to lose? Well, your idebtity and your freedom!
I am always sceptical about these things. The first thing I think this could and probably will be used for is medical insurance companies. They will know what people in your family died from and refuse to insure you. On the other hand medical research could benefit, also finding the best candidates for clinical trials.
Dian Ella Lillie, This is something that I hadn't considered. Can you show me where your research has led you to this conclusion? I am generally interested in this topic. I haven't done a test yet but have been tossing it around for awhile now. I am wondering if there is something we can do now to prevent this from happening in the future.
I wouldn't take this test for all the tea in China. You are giving away something very private, to a company you don't know, for no good reason. In the near future it could be used for soooo many evil things, such as rejecting your medical insurance because of your genetic profile... The best thing to prevent this from happening is simple: DO NOT GIVE AWAY THIS KIND OF CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION. NEVER.
Maria Hermida, if and when, ANY government will decide to collect DNA samples of its citizens, this will be done (or is now in process) WITHOUT asking YOUR permission. You are a number for them, nothing else.
There have already been reports about how these companies are cooperating with various authorities (local and federal) without court orders. They just show up, ask for it, and it's given to them. There are laws preventing various law enforcement agencies from sharing this sort of information, but done of those laws bar private companies from giving it to said agencies. Or insurance companies. Or anyone. A number of criminal cases have been solved because the authorities had DNA evidence left by a perpetrator and when it was compared to test results from these companies, it pointed to a relative of someone who had a DNA test done by one of the companies.
Related to what Dian says: www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2017/03/14/gop-bill-could-force-employees-to-undergo-dna-testing-or-pay-thousands/#5ef07b0c71fe
I have taken the 23andMe test. You have to agree to have your results aggregated to be used for medical and genetic testing. If you click 'no', it isn't used. I have several autoimmune diseases. They have no cure. No current effective treatment. No research done to see whether they're hereditary or not, and are frequently misdiagnosed. If my DNA can help my children, grandchildren, or someone else's babies one day to not live in pain and suffer like I am, then giving up my genetic information is worth it. For the most part, any connections with these companies are done from pharmacetical companies and research laboratories who receive aggregated (non-personalized) data, stripped of your actual identifying information, in order to research diseases, cures, and treatments. Everyone freaking out is jumping on a conspiracy bandwagon. Notice, many say they haven't taken the tests- meaning they haven't seen the member's only side of the sites, where you have to agree to when/if/how to share.
I think these tests have resulted in criminals being found through similarity in DNA. I guess if you aren't a criminal and don't have criminals in your family you really don't have much to worry about. I know adopted kids are finding parents that may or may not want to be found. And children of sperm donors are finding out they are related and the donors really didn't want anything to do with them.
I've also read that DNA companies are already striking deals with insurance companies... imagine not being covered because you carry the gene that may give you a particular disease?
Debbie, they are also finding identities of cold case John/Jane Doe through similarity in public DNA results. I'm definitely in favor of both those uses.
Not to alarm you, but many places already have your genetic makeup. They also know when you're sleeping and when you're awake. No, that's not a joke.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I agree. Far too many paranoid people on here.
Welcome to Gattaca...
Cool movie.
People are forgetting the very easy and simple get-around to this. Take your test anonymously with a fake name and there is no link back to you. No scary insurance rejections, no scary Big Brother interference. And if you're worried that you'll still be "in the system", again, they have no connection from your DNA to your identify. And if they DO...AND you've give false information then there are bigger issues to worry about. I administer tests for several people who have used pseudonyms, I purchased the tests and it's all done through my account with my email and my address.
And then several family members also do it, and as a result of their results, both your real identity AND alias are on record.
Oh, we fathomed it back in the nineties. "Gattaca" is that future. Genetic testing will be used to determine the entire course of a person's life, including whether they are born. Question is, will we ever be ready and can we really stop the inevitable.
Random thought: Gattaca looked like a society pre-Brave New World to me. These two stories feel connected.
Agree 100%
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I just ordered a 23and me kit on Christmas Day before the sale ended. Now I’m a little worried. I didn’t buy the Ancestry one, because everyone knows the Ancestry Co is part of the Mormon Church and they are compiling all these historical records, and DNA info and storing them FOREVER due to their religious beliefs. I thought I could dodge that with 23and me. Oh well : /
Ancestry is owned by members of the church, not the church itself. The church compiles historical records, not DNA. We believe that families can be together after this life, so we seek out records to help us trace our family. We then perform the ordinances on their behalf. DNA testing is neither required nor encouraged. Also, if you set your Ancestry info to private, no one, not even the church, can see your info. I am much more comfortable with the Ancestry test than the 23andMe test. Did you know that hidden in the failed healthcare reform bills of 2017 was a little section that would have allowed employers to test and have access your health DNA tests? What do our bosses need with that info?
Send kits to the Kardashians.... Now that would make FANTASTIC TV.... especially when Khloe's father wasn't a lawyer but a hairdresser....
Send them to politicians. I bet that'd be one big pile of dna-cr*p...
Im not the first to say this, and I wont be the last! NO Kardashian TV is fantastic TV!!! I think we have ALL seen enough of that ridiculous family! (and no matter how outrageous the results, nothing would be a surprise to ANYONE!)
Now thats the only way you will catch me watch the karTRASHians
It took me a couple of minutes to check that Khloe Kardashian did 23andMe, she was 58 percent European, 41.6 percent Middle Eastern. I have no interest in the Kardashians but I do in respectful ancestry research, also I wouldn't want my family members subjected to unpleasant gossip and I'm sure you wouldn't either. That goes for Luke Hancock commenting below too.
If you don't want to subject your family to gossip you shouldn't sell your whole life to the media. It's that simple. People gossip, so if you don't like it, keep your private affairs private.
OJ Simpson was a hair dresser??
OJ was a hair dresser?
I heard rumors that he was a football player who was also acquitted in a murder trial.
She did do DNA testing! And her mother really is her mother. I thought that was hysterical. Her motherhood was not in question, and never was.
I thought it was OJ?
I'm surprised they haven't done that yet honestly, whether it ends up being true or not
Maybe they have.