Has't thee ev'r been so malt-worm thee hadst the most wondrous idea? That, but in modern English, has become one of the most entertaining inquiries in the history of Reddit, and you wouldn’t believe what incredibly amazing ideas people had and then shared for the whole internet to see until you read them yourself. Thus, we invite you to check out our compilation of the most amazing ideas people had while slightly more inebriated than usual.
Sure, sure, some of these ideas and inventions were already present at the time when the visions came to these drunkards' heads. But can you imagine the feeling of Eureka! when you are certain that you just invented socks?!? Despite wearing them since the day you were born?!?! Now that’s a thrill and a height we all would like to feel someday. Besides inventing the wheel, some of these malt-worms did have some truly original ideas for restaurants, commercials, amusement parks, movies, and even wedding days to be remembered for decades to come. However, if we start naming them, you would simply express your disbelief in our tall tales, so you better read them yourself!
Again, all of these stories are very real and absolutely true (just like all the things on the internet) and were shared in this absolutely ingenious Reddit thread. We picked the greatest and put them on this list; however, you can still rank them to your liking by voting on the incredible ideas that stunned you the most. After that, share this article with your friends to either make their day that much more fun or inspire them to… Uhm, express their ideas freely, just like these people did!
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"Picking a different disease or illness each year and having a global competition to solve it. COVID made it seem like with everyone focused on one goal it gets solved faster."
Making it a competition makes it even more likely considering how competitve the countries are...I mean, look how eager everyone was to get to the moon?
"Stackable washer and dryer with the washer on top. The washer has a trap door that drops the wet clothes into the dryer below and starts automatically for you. Voila."
"Subscription gas fillers. You pay a monthly fee and at night a truck comes by and tops your tank off. And you never run out or have to swing by a gas station again, just get home."
"Once while high, my friends came up with an online call center for people who have anxiety while high to call. It was named 'Trip Advisor.'"
ITS THE STAIRS, THEYRE TEN FEET IN FRONT OF ME, SHOULD I JUST LEAN A LITTLE FURTHER?
"A night light for the refrigerator, if you opened it at night the light is much dimmer than during the day."
"When I was in high school, after a lengthy hotbox one evening, I came up with the 'reverse candle' which would consume carbon dioxide and produce oxygen while also providing shade. Everyone truly thought it was a good idea so we wrote it out on paper so we wouldn't forget.
Later, the next day I had realized we invented trees."
"Was stoned and listening to jazz and cooking with friends once. We got really into it and we were dancing around to the jazz and seasoning/spicing the food as we felt fit. We came up with the idea for a restaurant where all the chefs are stoned and allowed to freestyle. You order a dish and tell them what music to infuse it with. They put on that music, and get in the groove. And make your dish with the vibe that they’re feeling."
Why does this sound good? It should sound like a terrible idea, but somehow it doesn't? I'm confuzzled.
"Chicken nugget van. Like an ice cream van but chicken nuggets."
"Shazam for birds... Honestly, I still think it's a good idea."
"A pot or bowl with holes in it so that you didn't have to use a wire-mesh strainer to strain spaghetti. I had drawings and everything. People around me were like, 'S*it, this thing is going to make MILLIONS!'"
Next day: Dude, that's a colander.
what about a bowl with a sort of wire-mesh/colander at the bottom that emptied into a lower container that could be emptied, seperated, and washed?
"I ate acid and realized how much of our world is just containers for things. Houses are containers for people. Pockets, backpacks. Tires are just containers for pressurized air. I couldn't stop thinking about it."
"I was stoned and I came up with a brilliant low-cost solution to get fit without paying for a gym membership. Unfortunately, the idea was basically just going to the local park and fighting with the geese there."
"A friend of mine called me around 3:00 in the morning about a fantastic, groundbreaking idea he had for getting a sunburn on your feet. He wears Crocs a lot, so I was actually kinda interested. Socks. He was describing socks."
"A device that mimics what you sound like to yourself so other people can hear it. Like you can hear what other people hear through a normal recording. I wanted to make a device that lets other people hear what you hear in your head when you talk."
"My notes app is full of liquor/weed-soaked epiphanies and revelations from my younger years. My favorite reads, 'Any boy that has the pineapple is a good boy.'"
At least you had the good sense of keeping those thoughts off the internet lol
"Off-road roller blades, (like mountain bike style roller blades.)
"Banana rental. I thought people would love to rent bananas to display on their counters and/or coffee tables. I was absolutely certain I had just hit on the idea that would let me retire early..."
Well, in the late 18th and early 19th century you could rent a pineaple to display in your home if you wanted to impress someone. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/65506/super-luxe-history-pineapples-and-why-they-used-cost-8000 https://www.ianvisits.co.uk/articles/when-lononders-would-rent-pineapples-instead-of-eating-them-36529/
"I ran upstairs and yelled at my husband, 'Why don’t they make mittens for feet?!' And he said, 'You mean socks?' And I said, 'Oh yeah, socks.'”
"I once was very high and thought I came up with a groundbreaking idea. I was eating nachos, they were messy. I thought how cool would it be if there was a nacho sandwich, where the bread would be chips, and inside would be filled with all of the delicious nacho toppings. I sat there for 10 minutes thinking I had revolutionized nachos until I realized that I just invented tacos in my mind."
"When I did shrooms, I came up with the absolutely GENIUS idea that NASA should employ young children and send them to space for missions. They have more natural curiosity and aren't jaded yet by adulthood and they might notice things that a more experienced astronaut would miss because they'll look from a different perspective. I was convinced I needed to e-mail NASA right away and tell them about my brilliant epiphany."
"I have two:
Turning a toaster sideways and putting in mini pizzas to cook bake them rather than microwave them so they don't end up soggy. All the crumbs from the bottom of the toaster slid onto the heating element and smoked like crazy, setting off my fire alarm at 3 am. ( I guess I never dumped the crumb tray).
Carbonated soup."
Just get a toaster oven??? Also carbonated soup sound awful.
"Burrito tape! Like a salsa-flavored sticky rice paper strip to keep your rito tight."
Some engineering students at Johns Hopkins University already invented this.
"An oculus rift sort of virtual reality game where you'd play as a tiny person, about the size of a thumbtack. The big reveal would be that you'd climb your own body, sit in the holes that your eyeballs would be in, and see the world from the point of view of where your own eyeballs are. But like... we already do that... with our own built-in eyeballs."
"Kindergarten - senior homes combined."
This works, has benefits for both, especially the seniors. Forget which channel done it but was called "old people's home for four year olds" or something similar.
"A food truck specializing in egg rolls the size of burritos."
"Me and 2 friends were extremely high and extremely hungry. We put all our money together and said that we would buy the most amount of food for the amount of money we had gathered.
We had a total of £16. So our thought process was we could order 16 portions of chips (French fries for you Americans). We had to call the takeaway 3 times before they would believe that it wasn't a prank. We convinced them we were throwing a party. The takeaway finally delivered it and me and my other friend were too high to go to the door so we made friend 3 go by himself. All of the lights were off and there was no music playing so the delivery driver delivered 16 portions of chips to 1 man alone from his perspective.
Needless to say, 16 portions of chips is too much food between 3 people."
"Whilst high I came up with the idea of making pens with white ink that would cover up any mistakes on white paper... realized not only that it had been done already but that I had one in my backpack next to where I keep the pen I used to write down the idea."
"I had this amazing thought, so we wear shoes, but under the shoes, we need to wear socks. So why can't they just make socks that are shoes? Remove the need for a separate shoe. One layer. Convenience. No need to put your socks and shoes on in the morning.
So a waterproof sock with a sole and grip on the bottom.
So a shoe."
"Drank so much that I thought I had blood poisoning, I was screaming for a blood transfusion in the middle of the woods in Russia. Only one other person there spoke English, he told me the next morning I was freaking everyone out by asking for a blood transfusion."
I think this is normal. Anyone else wanna go do this in Russia with me?
"I actually still have this one I wrote in my notes from when I was really high: 'TV Show about underwater politics with seals.'"
"I was high when I realized that everyone's pain and suffering was based on feelings. If we could discard our feelings, then we could eliminate suffering. This probably would cause more problems than solve."
"A documentary where people explained why their passwords were what they were."
I can believe people would actually leak out their passwords if asked on the spot, in front of a camera. It could be like a social experiment to show how overly honest people can be when they feel they have to make quick decisions. Being on camera and participating in something not everyone will be included in gives them a false sense of a prospective reward if they do. That's my hypothesis. Just like those people who have been going around asking people their careers, income and how much is in their bank accounts.
"Trampolines instead of crosswalks on every corner. Society wouldn’t have to stop traffic, foot or car. Cars can keep driving and pedestrians can just jump over the streets."
"Beer rocks. When drinking at an outdoor place, using plastic cups, you put fancy rocks in your beer so the cups don't blow over. Genius."
Small tungsten cubes that you can just pour out into a sive at the end to be washed up.
"Dog food for dogs, by dogs."
"Running for my local school board. I had a lot of issues with the way education works in our country and believed the best way to fix the system was by running an honest campaign and promising to fight for the change that would help kids learn better.
Ultimately, I sobered up and realized an (at the time) unemployed, stoned 24-year-old with no kids was not the best candidate."
"To have a fast food spot that sold frozen meals already cooked. Like you can order a heated up hot pocket, toaster strudel, chicken pot pie, etc."
"It was a taxi app called Sleeper Service. It's like Uber but with a removable stretcher-like bed in the back. A cross between an ambulance and a hearse."
"I got high one time and thought of a great business idea where everyone pays money to a pot and one person wins it all. Turns out the lottery already exists."
"I don't drink or smoke, but a friend of mine was drunk and picked up a guitar, started playing, and thought he wrote the song 'Walk' by Pantera."
"I remember a story here years ago where some guy decided to write down every epiphany he had on drugs. When he read them sober it was things like, 'The earth and sky meet at the horizon.' He was really disappointed."
"Not me but Paul McCartney. The first time he got high he apparently discovered the meaning of life and immediately went to write it down. When he woke up the next morning he looked at the paper and it said: 'There are seven levels.'"
"I was high.
I made some killer mac and cheese and I saw that I had some bacon, so I cooked up the bacon and cut it into small pieces, and put it on the mac and cheese. It was so god damn heavenly that I forgot bacon bits and bacon bits on mac and cheese already existed.
have you ever tried cutting the fat off a packet of bacon, frying that up, and feeding the bacon to your dog or cat if you have one. it is some of the best s**t i have ever tried, but way too expensive. good for a zoo of some kind though.
"Like 10 years ago when cupcakes were wildly popular, I was drunk at a wedding that had a cupcake tower of a cake and I was like, 'What if we make cupcakes bigger?' More cupcakes to enjoy and everyone wins right?
I thought of cake."
"Sugar bags. Like tea bags but for sugar. Tea and two sugars? One tea bag, two sugar bags."
"A thing you put on the laptop charger that gets hot which keeps your cheese dip hot."
I probably still have this somewhere! Kinda like a small hotplate you plug into a USB. It becomes hot and it can help you keep some stuff, like drinks, warm.
"I had i great idea about what was needed to get all the European countries together in a union. Then I sobered up."
"Backwards auctions where you start the bidding on the highest end of the range and drop incrementally. The first person to bid wins."
This sounds like a fun party game! Everyone starts with a specific amount of money, and you want to obtain objects while also not spending all your money. The price slowly drops, and you have to guess whether or not your opponents will bid!
"I made a soup sandwich while really high before. The soup obviously just destroyed the bread's integrity, and just fell out of the sandwich. That was the first time in my life I realized just how dumb I am."
"My amazing idea was like a compartment or box where it just gets really hot inside and cooks food without the need for any water at all. Later on, I remembered ovens exist."
"Not sure if/not I was affected at the time but when much younger I theorized a universal language. Then I found out about Esperanto. Was like 100 years too late."
"Reverse microwave oven. Your food is too warm, cool it fast! Want to make ice? Come to think of it, I’d buy it."
"I thought of something that I thought was the funniest stuff. A video or comic where one guy takes a pepper packet, opens it, and pours it into his eyes. When his friend starts freaking out, he goes, 'Haha, tricked you, it’s actually salt.'"
"Usually I make big plans that cost a lot of money and then promise sober people that we will do them. So they start to look forward to the plans, I sober up and regret all of my decisions yet still have to follow through. Most recently was that I promised my sister that I’d bring my daughter to visit her in Florida. $2000 later, I have a sunburn."
"High as a kite once and overdid it a little, so I was nauseous and had to combat the munchies. Got the idea that we needed a breathalyzer - like device that could tell you how much you smoked so you knew your limit before it hit you."
There's a thingamajig that tells you if you still have some in your breath or blood - not sure Weed-Home-...3dbd47.jpg 
"A couple of friends and I were drunk at my house when we were 16, and forgot there was a can of Fanta in the freezer. We couldn’t open it so my friend used a can-opener to drink it. My drunk self was mind-blown."
Junior year my best friends parents left for 2 weeks, 5 of us had the house to ourselves and kept cases of beer (in cans) out in the back yard in a snow bank, it partially froze, we poured what didn't freeze into a a glass... got hammered faster....
"Breakfast pasta. Noodles stir-fried in butter served warm with maple syrup."
"Got so high that thought I solved the key to being happy. I wrote the answer down in my iPhone notes and checked it the next morning. 'Everything we do is just a feeling.'"
"My friend got high and decided to take the air filter off his car because more air, more combustion in the engine = faster car. He actually did it. He drove that way for a while. He didn't get more speed but did manage to get a seized - up and ruined engine."
I'm just impressed he figured out how to take the air filter off whilst high!
"I was thinking about pollution and how they should invent the machine that converts CO2 to oxygen. Using solar power. Yeah..."
"Doritos pizza, I didn't know what part of the pizza was Doritos but it was in there."
"Exacto-spoon. It is an exacto knife only a spoon."
"I wrote a song I thought was really beautiful... turned out it was, 'Carry On My Wayward Son.'"
"Mini M&M’s melted inside of a flour tortilla."
"Magnetic brake pads for your car. I don’t think it would work as well as I originally thought it would."
"My friends and I got crazy high/drunk one night and convinced each other to open a Bar and Sports grill right off our exit in our small town. Everyone thought it was great. The next day we woke up and only one guy was serious the rest of us knew it was nothing more than a high fantasy."
"I was on acid and had a revelation that I had to make the next google. I have no idea what it means to be the next Google but regardless it felt like the best idea in the world. The feeling of checking my notes app the next day for the grand idea I had and seeing ‘be the next Google’ was hilarious."
"So eagles have super good eyesight, right? Like being able to see rabbits and mice from miles type eyesight.
I theorized that you could use the ‘reward specific behavior’ type stuff to train eagles to identify things that would normally be hidden to the human eye.
Like snipers, AA placements, people, etc.
Then I got sober and realized how much of a nightmare that would be to actually do."
"Instead of electric bikes, why not just have people that’s gonna work out push normal bikes?"
"One time when I was tripping I wrote down this whole page of numbers and swore it was the answer. The answer to what I don't know lol I just kept saying "it's all about the digits.'"
"My grand idea was to put caramelized onions in my hamburger helper. Yeah, it was good but not as mind-blowing as I thought it would be when I was high as a kite."
Remember how you could “page” cordless phones if you couldn’t find it. Why my friends has this not been implemented for TV’s to page the remote? Like Sony, Samsung they all made cordless phones. They have the technology…Really hoping the right person sees this. Been talking about it for decades and still it’s not a thing.
like, damnit why cant i just phone my car keys when i lose them? there are keyrings and stuff that allow you to press a button on a wall mounted remote to make them beep. attach one to your remote.
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If I urinate while drinking beer, I am helping save the planet by recycling
My friends are convinced that 2 of my drunken ramblings was actually stolen and implemented. I suggested to my friends that TV be more realistic about it's timeframes 'How did he get from one end of the airport to the other so fast... In an air-vent? It's BS!', My idea was, a TV show that takes place in real time. Each episode is an hour long and shows the story unfolding as long as it takes to do it. 2 years later the TV show '24' Came out. My other idea was a TV show that shows people watching and reacting to what's on TV, now we have 'Goggle box'.
Remember how you could “page” cordless phones if you couldn’t find it. Why my friends has this not been implemented for TV’s to page the remote? Like Sony, Samsung they all made cordless phones. They have the technology…Really hoping the right person sees this. Been talking about it for decades and still it’s not a thing.
like, damnit why cant i just phone my car keys when i lose them? there are keyrings and stuff that allow you to press a button on a wall mounted remote to make them beep. attach one to your remote.
Load More Replies... If I urinate while drinking beer, I am helping save the planet by recycling
My friends are convinced that 2 of my drunken ramblings was actually stolen and implemented. I suggested to my friends that TV be more realistic about it's timeframes 'How did he get from one end of the airport to the other so fast... In an air-vent? It's BS!', My idea was, a TV show that takes place in real time. Each episode is an hour long and shows the story unfolding as long as it takes to do it. 2 years later the TV show '24' Came out. My other idea was a TV show that shows people watching and reacting to what's on TV, now we have 'Goggle box'.
