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Has't thee ev'r been so malt-worm thee hadst the most wondrous idea? That, but in modern English, has become one of the most entertaining inquiries in the history of Reddit, and you wouldn’t believe what incredibly amazing ideas people had and then shared for the whole internet to see until you read them yourself. Thus, we invite you to check out our compilation of the most amazing ideas people had while slightly more inebriated than usual.
Sure, sure, some of these ideas and inventions were already present at the time when the visions came to these drunkards' heads. But can you imagine the feeling of Eureka! when you are certain that you just invented socks?!? Despite wearing them since the day you were born?!?! Now that’s a thrill and a height we all would like to feel someday. Besides inventing the wheel, some of these malt-worms did have some truly original ideas for restaurants, commercials, amusement parks, movies, and even wedding days to be remembered for decades to come. However, if we start naming them, you would simply express your disbelief in our tall tales, so you better read them yourself!
Again, all of these stories are very real and absolutely true (just like all the things on the internet) and were shared in this absolutely ingenious Reddit thread. We picked the greatest and put them on this list; however, you can still rank them to your liking by voting on the incredible ideas that stunned you the most. After that, share this article with your friends to either make their day that much more fun or inspire them to… Uhm, express their ideas freely, just like these people did!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
"Picking a different disease or illness each year and having a global competition to solve it. COVID made it seem like with everyone focused on one goal it gets solved faster."
TailsFangirl03 2 years ago
Making it a competition makes it even more likely considering how competitve the countries are...I mean, look how eager everyone was to get to the moon?
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
They tried making an online game to find a cure for cancer a looooong time ago
RELATED:
#2
"Stackable washer and dryer with the washer on top. The washer has a trap door that drops the wet clothes into the dryer below and starts automatically for you. Voila."
Pauly Donahue 2 years ago
I hear they don't do either very well, according to the British.
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PigSquatch 2 years ago
What happens when the washer doesn't drain completely?
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#3
"Subscription gas fillers. You pay a monthly fee and at night a truck comes by and tops your tank off. And you never run out or have to swing by a gas station again, just get home."
Demosthenes 2 years ago
This is called an EV and the “gas fillers” is a cable that connects your car to the wall socket.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
This is a great idea as long as the trucks that run around filling everyone's tanks up are EVs
Pedantic Panda 2 years ago
This is actually a thing now, I believe Zebra fuel is the name of the company. (UK)
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
That would save a lot space from centralizing the gas station to one department, but then we'd have to figure out how to do multiple companies as to not have a monopoly
#4
"Once while high, my friends came up with an online call center for people who have anxiety while high to call. It was named 'Trip Advisor.'"
ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ 2 years ago
ITS THE STAIRS, THEYRE TEN FEET IN FRONT OF ME, SHOULD I JUST LEAN A LITTLE FURTHER?
#5
"A night light for the refrigerator, if you opened it at night the light is much dimmer than during the day."
Sam Juan 2 years ago
This is actually genius. No longer will I be blinded when I try to get a late night snack
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
no longer will you have to worry about others waking up
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Bi-Polar Express 2 years ago
Mine has this. It also has cameras so you don't open it. There's a screen on the front that is light sensitive.
Rahim Carlock 2 years ago
They will eventually put a TV on the face to watch news while you're making breakfast won't they?
Lisa Green 2 years ago
Nope, just a light sensor on the outside of the fridge to gauge how bright the room is!
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Rahim Carlock 2 years ago
They will eventually have a TV on its face so you can watch their news while making breakfast. Or eating bananas with nothing else to do.
#6
"When I was in high school, after a lengthy hotbox one evening, I came up with the 'reverse candle' which would consume carbon dioxide and produce oxygen while also providing shade. Everyone truly thought it was a good idea so we wrote it out on paper so we wouldn't forget. Later, the next day I had realized we invented trees."
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Trees don't produce much oxygen, because they respire as well as photosynthesising.
#7
"Turn signals on grocery carts."
G M 2 years ago
Wouldn’t work in california. No one here understands how indicators function in their cars.
Rabbit Of ill Portent 2 years ago
My very first thought myself. While a good idea in theory, one also has to think "if people don't use them on their damn cars, what in seven hells makes one think they'd use them on grocery carts??"
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Rahim Carlock 2 years ago
Could you please put a screen on the cart so you know where you're going in the store to get what you want.
seriouslykarma 2 years ago
How about an alarm when it gets close to someone. Maybe my kids would stop running into my ankles.
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
That's optimistic... People don't indicate while driving several tonnes of motor vehicle, why would they do it when hunting cheetos and beer?
#8
"Was stoned and listening to jazz and cooking with friends once. We got really into it and we were dancing around to the jazz and seasoning/spicing the food as we felt fit. We came up with the idea for a restaurant where all the chefs are stoned and allowed to freestyle. You order a dish and tell them what music to infuse it with. They put on that music, and get in the groove. And make your dish with the vibe that they’re feeling."
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Why does this sound good? It should sound like a terrible idea, but somehow it doesn't? I'm confuzzled.
PigSquatch 2 years ago
Awful idea you want Cheetos in your Chocolate pudding?
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Bi Frog 2 years ago
10/10 would try, idk if it would be good though. It would be a fun restaurant to go to on a date
Rabbit Of ill Portent 2 years ago
Same. I would try it, it would absolutely be a memorable date for sure, but I wouldn't have the highest of hopes and you're damn right that pun was intended
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Donkey boi 2 years ago
'Excuse me waiter, I ordered the Rock 'n' Roll beef, but this is clearly the 'Heavy Metal' beef'.
dianneelizabethlee_1 2 years ago
Most Chefs are stoned. It's the only way to cope with 12 hour shifts and the 40' heat.
Jp@nda 2 years ago
Exactly, i don't know if i trust a chef that isn't high, or has a little belly
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Kendra Miller 2 years ago
There is a restaurant in Japan the employes people with dementia. The workers are so happy to be interacting and helping people. There are lots of signs warning/explaining so guest understand that what they order is probably not what they are going to get, but it's all part of the experience, lovely people, great food, just never know what you're going to get.
#9
"Chicken nugget van. Like an ice cream van but chicken nuggets."
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
my friend just said "I know what to call it - the mobile mcdonalds"
#10
"Shazam for birds... Honestly, I still think it's a good idea."
Donkey boi 2 years ago
I'm not sure it would be useful to the every-day person, but it would be interesting. At least then I'd know what type of noisy bastard of a bird is shouting at me when I'm doing the goat's dawn feed.
Kamila Podolak 2 years ago
I don't want to advertise a specific app so search for it.. It's there, and yep I usually use it to check what type of noisy bastard is waking me up 😅
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
For a split second..I imagined lightning striking through birds and getting buff
#11
"A pot or bowl with holes in it so that you didn't have to use a wire-mesh strainer to strain spaghetti. I had drawings and everything. People around me were like, 'S*it, this thing is going to make MILLIONS!'" Next day: Dude, that's a colander.
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
what about a bowl with a sort of wire-mesh/colander at the bottom that emptied into a lower container that could be emptied, seperated, and washed?
Hey! 2 years ago
Okay, I don't have this one brand but the same concept. Pan-with-S...d7ca30.jpg 
#12
"I ate acid and realized how much of our world is just containers for things. Houses are containers for people. Pockets, backpacks. Tires are just containers for pressurized air. I couldn't stop thinking about it."
Hacknslaashing 2 years ago
I decided that the best decor for the hang out room going forward would be balls. And I was right. Much more fun. Dollar store clerk definitely knew something was up with us though.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Haha, love it! And as long as you weren't being a pita, I'm sure the clerk didn't care. The clerks at my closest grocery store are never sober. They're fun, while they're scanning they've always got some silly question like "what mythological creature would you want as a pet"
Load More Replies... Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Well, apparently acid is considerably more borimg than the music made it sound.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
And *all* work is moving things (real or virtual things) from one place to another.
Whiskey Tango Delicious 2 years ago
Oh now great, guess what I'll be doing for the next 2 hours...
corgiobsessed00 2 years ago
Morbid thought this caused: Our skin & muscle are just a container for our skeleton and our skull is a container for our brains. I'm under caffeinated and exhausted. 0_o
Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
the world often appears to be a container for stupid people ...
#13
"I was stoned and I came up with a brilliant low-cost solution to get fit without paying for a gym membership. Unfortunately, the idea was basically just going to the local park and fighting with the geese there."
Xenon 2 years ago
Wild goose chase, get your cardio in. When they inevitably turn on you and want to fight, then your run and get yet more cardio in. Geese are pretty bad a*s, you really wouldn't want to fight one, you'd likely lose.
Rayisnotokay 2 years ago
I saw an ad for a car right above this post and stared at it for a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out what the joke was
#14
"A friend of mine called me around 3:00 in the morning about a fantastic, groundbreaking idea he had for getting a sunburn on your feet. He wears Crocs a lot, so I was actually kinda interested. Socks. He was describing socks."
#15
"A device that mimics what you sound like to yourself so other people can hear it. Like you can hear what other people hear through a normal recording. I wanted to make a device that lets other people hear what you hear in your head when you talk."
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
YES. Let's all sound normal and not like the freaks that we sound like to everyone else.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago (edited)
It'd be kinda sad most of the disconnect with my voice is that it sounds way more masculine in my head
Donald Crocker, Jr. 2 years ago
Look up a device called the neurophone, also read "angel don't play that HAARP" which I think mentions it in a side chapter. It's supposed to make electrical impulses that can be directly interpreted by the brain as sound, but re: your idea, since that frequency range is what the brain thinks sound in an appropriate biofeedback device can record you reading silently in your head, then it's just a bit of AI signal conversion to turn it into actual sound.
Whiskey Tango Delicious 2 years ago
Didcomfoundet*(white noise)^gobbledee'verb'confusion. <-- On a normal day.
#16
"Off-road roller blades, (like mountain bike style roller blades.)
#17
"My notes app is full of liquor/weed-soaked epiphanies and revelations from my younger years. My favorite reads, 'Any boy that has the pineapple is a good boy.'"
BrandyAKAmom 2 years ago
At least you had the good sense of keeping those thoughts off the internet lol
Hey! 2 years ago
Your notes app reminds me of a gift I gave my oldest son. I decorated the front and back of a notebook (~5x8) with weed stuff and put jokes at random places inside so that when he's high - is that the term? - he'd find those jokes hyper funny and the rest of the pages/lines could be for epiphanies like this post. He loves it! And actually my daughter and her BF thought the jokes were pretty good without being high, so that's a plus.
V 2 years ago
Do I know you? I have vague recollections of pineapples going around parties when I was younger. Lol. Or was this just a thing for a while?
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
It is a thing, it's a signal. Do a search for upside down pineapple. This makes me wonder about inviting someone over for pineapple upside down cake, or bringing it to a pot luck. he he
Load More Replies... #18
"Banana rental. I thought people would love to rent bananas to display on their counters and/or coffee tables. I was absolutely certain I had just hit on the idea that would let me retire early..."
Nilsen 2 years ago
Well, in the late 18th and early 19th century you could rent a pineaple to display in your home if you wanted to impress someone. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/65506/super-luxe-history-pineapples-and-why-they-used-cost-8000 https://www.ianvisits.co.uk/articles/when-lononders-would-rent-pineapples-instead-of-eating-them-36529/
Rahim Carlock 2 years ago
They used to be wax now they're plastic, rent a banana yourself. Digital is based on mock-ups movies use a lot of fruit.
#19
"I ran upstairs and yelled at my husband, 'Why don’t they make mittens for feet?!' And he said, 'You mean socks?' And I said, 'Oh yeah, socks.'”
seriouslykarma 2 years ago
And you can get toe socks, my favorite, which I always describe to people as gloves for feet.!
#20
"When I did shrooms, I came up with the absolutely GENIUS idea that NASA should employ young children and send them to space for missions. They have more natural curiosity and aren't jaded yet by adulthood and they might notice things that a more experienced astronaut would miss because they'll look from a different perspective. I was convinced I needed to e-mail NASA right away and tell them about my brilliant epiphany."
Donkey boi 2 years ago
This actually holds merit. I can't remember who it was, but someone once said 'Research scientists are the kids that used to say "Why? Why?" over and over until you went insane, only they never grew up, they just got a bit smarter'.
#21
"I once was very high and thought I came up with a groundbreaking idea. I was eating nachos, they were messy. I thought how cool would it be if there was a nacho sandwich, where the bread would be chips, and inside would be filled with all of the delicious nacho toppings. I sat there for 10 minutes thinking I had revolutionized nachos until I realized that I just invented tacos in my mind."
#22
"I have two: Turning a toaster sideways and putting in mini pizzas to cook bake them rather than microwave them so they don't end up soggy. All the crumbs from the bottom of the toaster slid onto the heating element and smoked like crazy, setting off my fire alarm at 3 am. ( I guess I never dumped the crumb tray). Carbonated soup."
3 Trash Pandas in a Trenchcoat 2 years ago
Just get a toaster oven??? Also carbonated soup sound awful.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
would carbonated soup have to come out of a bottle? I remember a while ago they had soup cans you basically drank out of through a little hole.
Cuppa tea? 2 years ago
Once while camping, I mistakenly bought sparkling water instead of still. Suffice to say - that first coffee was some experience in making and tasting.
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
I did the toaster pizza thing, I hate microwaves for anything other than popcorn.
Jennifer Clark 2 years ago
The sideways toaster thing exists. It's the Ninja Foodi 2 in 1 flip toaster
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
my friend (the same one as earlier) just said to me "oh I know what to call carbonated soup-- poison." I oughtta say I have to agree with him (but then again I'm picky enough to have the same opinion for soup in general..)
#23
"An oculus rift sort of virtual reality game where you'd play as a tiny person, about the size of a thumbtack. The big reveal would be that you'd climb your own body, sit in the holes that your eyeballs would be in, and see the world from the point of view of where your own eyeballs are. But like... we already do that... with our own built-in eyeballs."
Dumpster Fire 2 years ago
There's some good "high-induced" ideas here, but this one might be where the list should end.
#24
"Burrito tape! Like a salsa-flavored sticky rice paper strip to keep your rito tight."
Theoretical Empiricist 2 years ago
Some engineering students at Johns Hopkins University already invented this.
#25
"Kindergarten - senior homes combined."
Pedantic Panda 2 years ago
This works, has benefits for both, especially the seniors. Forget which channel done it but was called "old people's home for four year olds" or something similar.
Awesome At Being Autistic 2 years ago
Channel 4. It was very inspiring. I forgot all about it until you mentioned it.
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Huddo's sister 2 years ago
There are a couple being built in Victoria at the moment. I think they also include a shared gym.
Mahstah-Blahstah 2 years ago
Kids are notorious for spreading illnesses. Elderly are more susceptible to viral infection. Not necessarily a great mix, but does have some merit in regard to mental health.
DrGirlfriend 2 years ago
Dementia and Alzheimer's patient can be violent and hyper sexually active. Not an great combo if you like your kids
Demosthenes 2 years ago
This is some unicorns and rainbows s**t. Sounds cute and I’m sure it makes a neat TV show but horny old men with senility and 5 year olds with helicopter parents would lead to abuse and legal action in very little time. Putting two groups of people together who need to be cared for does not equal care for both groups.
Maltaros 2 years ago
Nope. There are actually very few pedophiles out there. The whole panic has been exacerbated by a twenty-four hour news cycle that tells you of every story across the world like it was in your backyard. And then they neglect to come back and tell you that it wasn't at all a case of pedophilia in reality, it was something uptight parents misinterpreted (or a parent getting back at the other parent).
Load More Replies... #26
"A food truck specializing in egg rolls the size of burritos."
Tim Geene 2 years ago
Wish granted: Taste of Soul Egg Rolls in Oklahoma City. Restaurant and food truck.
Load More Replies... Terra Raizor 2 years ago
Maybe taquito size, burrito size sounds difficult and messy to fry in a truck
QuanτumSpace2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣ 2 years ago
I’ve had that (or at least a sushi roll/burrito combo)! It was actually good
#27
"Me and 2 friends were extremely high and extremely hungry. We put all our money together and said that we would buy the most amount of food for the amount of money we had gathered. We had a total of £16. So our thought process was we could order 16 portions of chips (French fries for you Americans). We had to call the takeaway 3 times before they would believe that it wasn't a prank. We convinced them we were throwing a party. The takeaway finally delivered it and me and my other friend were too high to go to the door so we made friend 3 go by himself. All of the lights were off and there was no music playing so the delivery driver delivered 16 portions of chips to 1 man alone from his perspective. Needless to say, 16 portions of chips is too much food between 3 people."
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I'm stuck on the fact you can get a portion of chips for 1 pound! A 'minimum' chips in Australia is the smallest you can get at a fish and chip shop, and it is too much for one person and costs about $6.
#28
"Drank so much that I thought I had blood poisoning, I was screaming for a blood transfusion in the middle of the woods in Russia. Only one other person there spoke English, he told me the next morning I was freaking everyone out by asking for a blood transfusion."
Silvermidnight 2 years ago (edited)
I think this is normal. Anyone else wanna go do this in Russia with me?
#29
"Whilst high I came up with the idea of making pens with white ink that would cover up any mistakes on white paper... realized not only that it had been done already but that I had one in my backpack next to where I keep the pen I used to write down the idea."
#30
"I had this amazing thought, so we wear shoes, but under the shoes, we need to wear socks. So why can't they just make socks that are shoes? Remove the need for a separate shoe. One layer. Convenience. No need to put your socks and shoes on in the morning. So a waterproof sock with a sole and grip on the bottom. So a shoe."
Liz Clarke 2 years ago
The socks have a purpose- feet get sweaty and stinky and socks are much easier to clean than shoes.
Nopety 2 years ago
https://us.vibram.com/shop/shop-all-products/mens-fivefingers-1/ exists. I often wear these without socks
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
Maybe a way to keep wicking socks in there, maybe with velcro, with an observant pad underneath and then you'd only have to wash the "sock" part once or twice a week and replace the pad. Might be too much hassle.
#31
"I actually still have this one I wrote in my notes from when I was really high: 'TV Show about underwater politics with seals.'"
#32
"I was high when I realized that everyone's pain and suffering was based on feelings. If we could discard our feelings, then we could eliminate suffering. This probably would cause more problems than solve."
Hungry Salmon Shark 2 years ago
Last time we got rid of feelings cybermen tried to take over the world/universe.
Sweet_Dee 2 years ago
And this is why thought work is so vital to mental wellbeing. Thoughts = feelings = suffering/actions etc. But, feelings are still important to understanding what they're trying to tell us. Just don't let them control you. Take them with a grain of salt pretty much. Good luck out there lol
Hey! 2 years ago
Yeah, I don't think so. The pain in my elbow after a horrific accident is real and still is 15 years later. I'm missing pieces so it's not fluid movement in there.
BrandyAKAmom 2 years ago
My daughter (7) had a high fever last week and woke up in the middle of the night a bit delirious, went to the restroom and saw her reflection in the mirror and stated: D: look at my hair. it looks crazy. M: that's okay, we all have crazy hair when we are sick. D: all crazy people are actually sick. I was like, yes. Yes they are.
#33
"A documentary where people explained why their passwords were what they were."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I can believe people would actually leak out their passwords if asked on the spot, in front of a camera. It could be like a social experiment to show how overly honest people can be when they feel they have to make quick decisions. Being on camera and participating in something not everyone will be included in gives them a false sense of a prospective reward if they do. That's my hypothesis. Just like those people who have been going around asking people their careers, income and how much is in their bank accounts.
nuberiffic 2 years ago (edited)
"well my employer makes me change it every three months, which is why my password is boobfart123456!"
TailsFangirl03 2 years ago
My passwords usually have to do with fictional characters and I signed in with google for BP.
#34
"Trampolines instead of crosswalks on every corner. Society wouldn’t have to stop traffic, foot or car. Cars can keep driving and pedestrians can just jump over the streets."
Silvermidnight 2 years ago (edited)
We'd also learn about accuracy and aerodynamics. Survival of the fittest.
Whiskey Tango Delicious 2 years ago
Challenge accepted. I hope you have good medical insurance, we do NOT
#35
"Beer rocks. When drinking at an outdoor place, using plastic cups, you put fancy rocks in your beer so the cups don't blow over. Genius."
Thomas Bentley 2 years ago
Small tungsten cubes that you can just pour out into a sive at the end to be washed up.
G M 2 years ago
Could help keep your beer cold too if you froze them. If you solve for the chipped teeth issue you might be onto something.
PigSquatch 2 years ago
Just make cups that are heavier on the bottom. No rocks no chipped teeth problem solved.
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nuberiffic 2 years ago
Or maybe some kind of heavier drinking vessel, perhaps made of something durable and easy to clean like glass. We could call it a "silica-based liquid containment device".
#36
"Dog food for dogs, by dogs."
Awesome At Being Autistic 2 years ago
One of my dogs eats his own poop, so he's pretty much got that sorted.
#37
"Running for my local school board. I had a lot of issues with the way education works in our country and believed the best way to fix the system was by running an honest campaign and promising to fight for the change that would help kids learn better. Ultimately, I sobered up and realized an (at the time) unemployed, stoned 24-year-old with no kids was not the best candidate."
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I'm not sure what our equivalent of a school board is, but it is usually very hard to get people to volunteer as president of the parents and friends associations, so I think they would be open to even someone unrelated to the school taking it on.
#38
"To have a fast food spot that sold frozen meals already cooked. Like you can order a heated up hot pocket, toaster strudel, chicken pot pie, etc."
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
Will they heat the pocket so that it's not boiling or still cold in the center, or are we going for an authentic homestyle replica?
#39
"It was a taxi app called Sleeper Service. It's like Uber but with a removable stretcher-like bed in the back. A cross between an ambulance and a hearse."
JD Cass 2 years ago
On a sunny day, maybe after playing outside, riding shotgun...pretty pretty sleep
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
I would literally pay to not be able to sleep. Can NOT sleep in a moving car for my life.
#40
"Closed caption for the radio."
#41
"I got high one time and thought of a great business idea where everyone pays money to a pot and one person wins it all. Turns out the lottery already exists."
#42
"I don't drink or smoke, but a friend of mine was drunk and picked up a guitar, started playing, and thought he wrote the song 'Walk' by Pantera."
Rougarou Cher 2 years ago
I had a friend do this with Chloe Dancer. Did not believe me and then I got a call the next day telling me I was correct.
#43
"I remember a story here years ago where some guy decided to write down every epiphany he had on drugs. When he read them sober it was things like, 'The earth and sky meet at the horizon.' He was really disappointed."
Terra Raizor 2 years ago
It's your brain hashing out all the concepts that you know are fact but never truly understood 😆
Jon Rindfleisch 2 years ago
Back in the 70's a gym teacher I had said he tried pot in college (along with some beer) and had an epiphany about the meaning of life which he managed to write down... he said days later when he he was sober he remembered the paper, it said "if I stand on my tippy toes I can touch the ceiling.
#44
"Not me but Paul McCartney. The first time he got high he apparently discovered the meaning of life and immediately went to write it down. When he woke up the next morning he looked at the paper and it said: 'There are seven levels.'"
#45
"I was high. I made some killer mac and cheese and I saw that I had some bacon, so I cooked up the bacon and cut it into small pieces, and put it on the mac and cheese. It was so god damn heavenly that I forgot bacon bits and bacon bits on mac and cheese already existed.
Thomas Bentley 2 years ago
have you ever tried cutting the fat off a packet of bacon, frying that up, and feeding the bacon to your dog or cat if you have one. it is some of the best s**t i have ever tried, but way too expensive. good for a zoo of some kind though.
Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
read it again. feed the BACON to the dog or cat. the fat goes into the person.
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#46
"Like 10 years ago when cupcakes were wildly popular, I was drunk at a wedding that had a cupcake tower of a cake and I was like, 'What if we make cupcakes bigger?' More cupcakes to enjoy and everyone wins right? I thought of cake."
Hacknslaashing 2 years ago
Being Jon constantly sounds exhausting. It's okay to take a Dave off.
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#47
"Sugar bags. Like tea bags but for sugar. Tea and two sugars? One tea bag, two sugar bags."
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
I am all for the idea, but more to the tune of 'refillable teabag'. For me, it's three sugars and an extra half-spoon of tea.
#48
"A thing you put on the laptop charger that gets hot which keeps your cheese dip hot."
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
I probably still have this somewhere! Kinda like a small hotplate you plug into a USB. It becomes hot and it can help you keep some stuff, like drinks, warm.
Xenon 2 years ago
Had one that got fairly warm to keep my coffee warm, I hate cold coffee. Not sure it would be warm enough for cheese dip though.
Load More Replies... Rougarou Cher 2 years ago
My Mac Mini at the office used to get really hot so when I brought a sandwich for lunch I'd leave it there to get it warm for lunchtime.
#49
"I had i great idea about what was needed to get all the European countries together in a union. Then I sobered up."
#50
"Backwards auctions where you start the bidding on the highest end of the range and drop incrementally. The first person to bid wins."
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
This sounds like a fun party game! Everyone starts with a specific amount of money, and you want to obtain objects while also not spending all your money. The price slowly drops, and you have to guess whether or not your opponents will bid!
Geoffrey Widdison 2 years ago
These actually exist! They're called Dutch auctions, or clock auctions (because a clock-like meter is sometimes used show the asking price). Unlike most drunk ideas, this is not only workable, but has real advantages.
#51
"I made a soup sandwich while really high before. The soup obviously just destroyed the bread's integrity, and just fell out of the sandwich. That was the first time in my life I realized just how dumb I am."
Kaniwani 2 years ago
I remember in "Friends", Monica made Ross a sandwich where she soaked a slice of sandwich bread in turkey gravy and put it in the middle of the sandwich between the meats, cheese, and vegetables. Perhaps you can do the same thing but soak it in soup instead.
Kaniwani 2 years ago
PS: Just be sure to gently squeeze out the excess liquid beforehand or else it will get soggy and messy when you bite into it.
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Jonn Thundergun 2 years ago
Soup Sandwich is what you get called when you're doing dumb s**t in the Army.
#52
"My amazing idea was like a compartment or box where it just gets really hot inside and cooks food without the need for any water at all. Later on, I remembered ovens exist."
#53
"Not sure if/not I was affected at the time but when much younger I theorized a universal language. Then I found out about Esperanto. Was like 100 years too late."
#54
"Reverse microwave oven. Your food is too warm, cool it fast! Want to make ice? Come to think of it, I’d buy it."
Gay-Trash-Panda 2 years ago
but like a freezer with an alarm and timer and it goes fast
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Lincoln Adams 2 years ago (edited)
Haha, I thought of this actually not even drunk and me and my dad were legit trying to theorize how it would work and still be used as a microwave. Still haven't came up with results
Max Fox 2 years ago
The problem with cooling something really quickly is that heat is simply motion at the atomic level. So you hit something with a lot of very fast-moving particles, and it heats up. The more energy you put in, the more particles and the faster they are. However, to cool things off, all you can do is slow the movement from the outside in, by surrounding your food with molecules which are slower. That always takes more time. There is simply no way to "reach" inside an abject and slow the atomic motion of the particles that are there. You can do the opposite - send wave particles deep into an object to get the atoms moving.
#55
"I thought of something that I thought was the funniest stuff. A video or comic where one guy takes a pepper packet, opens it, and pours it into his eyes. When his friend starts freaking out, he goes, 'Haha, tricked you, it’s actually salt.'"
Lene 2 years ago
At one birthday I held, my then-bf and two of our friends came up with the idea of dripping red wine and vodka into eachothers' eyes. There was screaming and laughing and yelling. Lol. Turns out the eyes with red wine got back to normal faster than the vodka-eyes. And then I served layered cake with green and red whipped cream on. It was an interesting birthday, I suppose.
shakti trevor 2 years ago
Hows bout designer body bags? Ghouls by Gucci, Corpses by Chanel, Vampires by Versace...
#56
"Usually I make big plans that cost a lot of money and then promise sober people that we will do them. So they start to look forward to the plans, I sober up and regret all of my decisions yet still have to follow through. Most recently was that I promised my sister that I’d bring my daughter to visit her in Florida. $2000 later, I have a sunburn."
Jonn Thundergun 2 years ago
It's not so bad when you know you're leaving in a couple of days.
Load More Replies... #57
"High as a kite once and overdid it a little, so I was nauseous and had to combat the munchies. Got the idea that we needed a breathalyzer - like device that could tell you how much you smoked so you knew your limit before it hit you."
Hey! 2 years ago
There's a thingamajig that tells you if you still have some in your breath or blood - not sure Weed-Home-...3dbd47.jpg 
#58
"A couple of friends and I were drunk at my house when we were 16, and forgot there was a can of Fanta in the freezer. We couldn’t open it so my friend used a can-opener to drink it. My drunk self was mind-blown."
Jon Rindfleisch 2 years ago
Junior year my best friends parents left for 2 weeks, 5 of us had the house to ourselves and kept cases of beer (in cans) out in the back yard in a snow bank, it partially froze, we poured what didn't freeze into a a glass... got hammered faster....
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
You redescovered the earliest form of alcohol refinement.
Load More Replies... #59
"Breakfast pasta. Noodles stir-fried in butter served warm with maple syrup."
#60
"Hot Cheetos dust for popcorn sprinkling."
#61
"Got so high that thought I solved the key to being happy. I wrote the answer down in my iPhone notes and checked it the next morning. 'Everything we do is just a feeling.'"
#62
"My friend got high and decided to take the air filter off his car because more air, more combustion in the engine = faster car. He actually did it. He drove that way for a while. He didn't get more speed but did manage to get a seized - up and ruined engine."
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
I'm just impressed he figured out how to take the air filter off whilst high!
#63
"I was thinking about pollution and how they should invent the machine that converts CO2 to oxygen. Using solar power. Yeah..."
Thomas Bentley 2 years ago
alge, this one sea slug that does the same job...
Load More Replies... #64
"Doritos pizza, I didn't know what part of the pizza was Doritos but it was in there."
#65
"I was on acid and had a revelation that I had to make the next google. I have no idea what it means to be the next Google but regardless it felt like the best idea in the world. The feeling of checking my notes app the next day for the grand idea I had and seeing ‘be the next Google’ was hilarious."
#66
"Exacto-spoon. It is an exacto knife only a spoon."
seriouslykarma 2 years ago
Actually, I would use that. My first thought was for things like pie or frittatas. Sometimes a spoon is too dull to cut through everything but using a fork leaves you with a bunch of crumbles that slip through the tines.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Here you are with a good solid reason and my brain thinks "to scoop out eyes easier"
Load More Replies... #67
"I wrote a song I thought was really beautiful... turned out it was, 'Carry On My Wayward Son.'"
#68
"Mini M&M’s melted inside of a flour tortilla."
#69
"Magnetic brake pads for your car. I don’t think it would work as well as I originally thought it would."
#70
"You know about powdered sugar right? I taught to make powdered salt."
Xenon 2 years ago
That has possibilities. Powdered sugar is nothing more than finely ground sugar with a bit of corn starch to keep it from caking. I prefer chunkier salts like Malden though.
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
I prefer a brick sized compressed block that I cab just lick on.
Load More Replies... #71
"My friends and I got crazy high/drunk one night and convinced each other to open a Bar and Sports grill right off our exit in our small town. Everyone thought it was great. The next day we woke up and only one guy was serious the rest of us knew it was nothing more than a high fantasy."
#72
"So eagles have super good eyesight, right? Like being able to see rabbits and mice from miles type eyesight. I theorized that you could use the ‘reward specific behavior’ type stuff to train eagles to identify things that would normally be hidden to the human eye. Like snipers, AA placements, people, etc. Then I got sober and realized how much of a nightmare that would be to actually do."
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
I remember that some pigeons were trained to pick out "wrong" pills in a manufacturing sort line and were more accurate than people or cameras, but couldn't be used for the quality control jobs because... they're pigeons. Also don't forget how homing pigeons helped where radios and letters failed, until the enemy started randomly exterminating them.
#73
"Instead of electric bikes, why not just have people that’s gonna work out push normal bikes?"
#74
"One time when I was tripping I wrote down this whole page of numbers and swore it was the answer. The answer to what I don't know lol I just kept saying "it's all about the digits.'"
Jon Rindfleisch 2 years ago
By a strange coincidence I just watched that movie tonight.... So long and thanks for all the fish
Load More Replies... Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
you need to invent an organic computer to work out what the question actually is. you could call it earth. beware of vogons.
Silvermidnight 2 years ago (edited)
"It's all about the digits." 174839539947264178294376435435...
#75
"My grand idea was to put caramelized onions in my hamburger helper. Yeah, it was good but not as mind-blowing as I thought it would be when I was high as a kite."
Francine Govan 2 years ago
Don't think there's much in the way of savoury food that wouldn't be improved by caramelized (or fried onions).
What do you think ?
Dee 2 years ago
Remember how you could “page” cordless phones if you couldn’t find it. Why my friends has this not been implemented for TV’s to page the remote? Like Sony, Samsung they all made cordless phones. They have the technology…Really hoping the right person sees this. Been talking about it for decades and still it’s not a thing.
Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
like, damnit why cant i just phone my car keys when i lose them? there are keyrings and stuff that allow you to press a button on a wall mounted remote to make them beep. attach one to your remote.
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Der Kommissar 2 years ago
If I urinate while drinking beer, I am helping save the planet by recycling
Donkey boi 2 years ago
My friends are convinced that 2 of my drunken ramblings was actually stolen and implemented. I suggested to my friends that TV be more realistic about it's timeframes 'How did he get from one end of the airport to the other so fast... In an air-vent? It's BS!', My idea was, a TV show that takes place in real time. Each episode is an hour long and shows the story unfolding as long as it takes to do it. 2 years later the TV show '24' Came out. My other idea was a TV show that shows people watching and reacting to what's on TV, now we have 'Goggle box'.
Dee 2 years ago
Remember how you could “page” cordless phones if you couldn’t find it. Why my friends has this not been implemented for TV’s to page the remote? Like Sony, Samsung they all made cordless phones. They have the technology…Really hoping the right person sees this. Been talking about it for decades and still it’s not a thing.
Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
like, damnit why cant i just phone my car keys when i lose them? there are keyrings and stuff that allow you to press a button on a wall mounted remote to make them beep. attach one to your remote.
Load More Replies... Der Kommissar 2 years ago
If I urinate while drinking beer, I am helping save the planet by recycling
Donkey boi 2 years ago
My friends are convinced that 2 of my drunken ramblings was actually stolen and implemented. I suggested to my friends that TV be more realistic about it's timeframes 'How did he get from one end of the airport to the other so fast... In an air-vent? It's BS!', My idea was, a TV show that takes place in real time. Each episode is an hour long and shows the story unfolding as long as it takes to do it. 2 years later the TV show '24' Came out. My other idea was a TV show that shows people watching and reacting to what's on TV, now we have 'Goggle box'.
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