Hey Pandas, AITA For Getting Mad At My Brother-In-Law Over Expensive Treats I Bought For My Kids?
In my family, we are quite budget-conscious, especially since my husband lost his job last year due to Covid layoffs. We have two kids, and managing our expenses has been a bit of a struggle. Despite this, we agreed to let my brother-in-law, “Jake” (38), move in with us temporarily after his divorce. He’s always been a bit of a freeloader, but we couldn’t turn him away in his time of need, especially when his marriage to his ex-wife ended so unfortunately. The arrangement was simple: he would contribute to household expenses and buy his own groceries.
Jake has a sweet tooth and a penchant for expensive, gourmet snacks, which are a luxury we can’t afford currently. So, last month, I indulged my kids and bought them a small box of premium chocolate cookies, a rare treat in our home. I stored them in a high cabinet, out of sight but not out of reach for a treat after their upcoming exams.
A week later, I noticed the cookie box was almost empty. Surprised, I asked my husband and kids if they had eaten them, but they all firmly denied it
Image credits: Egor Lyfar (not the actual photo)
I wouldn’t have been mad if they themselves ate it. I had my suspicions about Jake but didn’t want to accuse him without proof.
Then, two days ago, I came home early from work and found Jake on the couch, watching a movie and munching on the last of those chocolate cookies
Image credits: Mollie Sivaram (not the actual photo)
I confronted him, and he just shrugged, saying he thought they were for everyone and didn’t think it was that big of a deal since he also contributed to the groceries with his money
Image credits: Toa Heftiba (not the actual photo)
I was livid, not just because of the sweets, but because this was a repeat pattern of disrespecting our boundaries and taking advantage of our hospitality over the course of the last few months. When I brought this up, Jake became defensive, claiming that I was overreacting over a few chocolates that no one cared about. But for me, it was about the principle and the constant disregard for our struggles and efforts to provide for our family while accommodating him at the same time.
Pandas, AITA?
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There seems to be more to the story (as hinted) but even like this: At no point in history in no family ever have good cookies, hidden in the high closet, been "for everyone". He knew what he was doing and that makes him the AH.
NTA. A few chocolates would have been fine but not almost the whole box! He should apologize and you should set some very clear boundaries.
And they were clearly hidden, he knew those were a controlled substance!...that what we call the goodies in my home.
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If you hid them in a high cabinet where no other snacks or food is hidden, common sense would tell someone to ask if it's ok to eat them. Sounds like you need to renegotiate the way groceries go in this situation. If he "contributes" to the groceries, then he can just buy his own groceries and put a sticky on or have his own shelf in the fridge/cabinet. It sounds like he is contributing but eating more than he contributes since he ate the whole box.
There seems to be more to the story (as hinted) but even like this: At no point in history in no family ever have good cookies, hidden in the high closet, been "for everyone". He knew what he was doing and that makes him the AH.
NTA. A few chocolates would have been fine but not almost the whole box! He should apologize and you should set some very clear boundaries.
And they were clearly hidden, he knew those were a controlled substance!...that what we call the goodies in my home.
Load More Replies... If you hid them in a high cabinet where no other snacks or food is hidden, common sense would tell someone to ask if it's ok to eat them. Sounds like you need to renegotiate the way groceries go in this situation. If he "contributes" to the groceries, then he can just buy his own groceries and put a sticky on or have his own shelf in the fridge/cabinet. It sounds like he is contributing but eating more than he contributes since he ate the whole box.
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