Being a grown-up is not just about taking care of yourself; it's also about considering how your actions affect the people around you. I like to think of it as juggling heavy dumbbells while riding a broken unicycle on a weak tightrope above a savage fire. Fun, right?
To learn which parts of this 'performance' people find the hardest, Redditor u/Frequent-Pilot5243 recently made a post on the platform, asking other users the following question: "What is an adult problem nobody prepared you for?" Turns out, a lot. From personal finance to relationships, continue scrolling to check out some of the most popular answers.
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Handling the decline and death of your parents
This is my worst fear. I cry myself to sleep somedays thinking about this
Same. It's actually one of the 'issues' that I'm working through with my therapist. I hope he has some panacea that softens the blow but I imagine it will just be a case of developing coping strategies. To say that it's something that we all have to handle, there isn't much talk about it is there? Hope you find a way to get some peace. You are not alone.
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Some people think their parents will just kick off one day, which can be sad enough, but a lot of times it doesn't happen like that. They get older and older, are sick at times, start failing mentally, and need more and more help. So there goes more and more of your free time. And ladies, if you're the only girl in the family, guess who'll probably end up doing most of it?
Or are the oldest, barely 21, and your parents aren't together and your dad dies suddenly, the day after your mom's birthday which is 8 days before Christmas. And you have much younger siblings as well that you have to take care of, 15 years told sister, 10 year old brother. And the last thing that your dad says to your sister is Heather help I can't breath. And the ambulance gets stuck in the driveway..sorry everybody I just needed to get that out.
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This... Theoretically we know it's coming, we are (sort of) preparing for that but then it hits like a rocket propelled hammer and we spend the rest of our lives trying to glue the shattered pieces of ourselves together.
A rocket propelled hammer... Describes what my daddy's death did to me exactly. Him in his 80s, me in my 40s, thought I'd be ok but I'm still shattered a decade later. I'll never stop missing him.
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Yes. My mother is 80 now. That vibrant, iconoclastic, rebellious woman who taught me so much about being an independent woman. She and I live 1000 miles apart. Some days she sounds great. Everything is still going on upstairs. But other days, she seems really out of it, too tired to engage, and losing those mental connections. It is all happening too fast.
I had practiced the hearing aid conversation so many times, but dementia blindsided me.
First, it was your pets. Then, one by one, your friends and other loved ones, including your parents. Eventually your spouse if you outlive them (otherwise, they face this when you pass). Hopefully not your children. Death is a part of life, and even though it can be overwhelming, you still need to come to grips with the fact that none of us is immortal. Sucks, but it’s true.
I've been having this fear for a long time, and then six months ago it came true out of the blue. My father got sick and was recuperating. He went to sleep, passed out and never woke up. Now I've been developing anxiety thinking about my mom.
The hurt doesn't go away. It does get better though! Remember the happy times with them, don't linger on the bad times, that's the best strategy
Talk to them, I swear at my dad occasionally when I'm fixing stuff for my mum. Where did you put the f'ing screwdriver you stupid sod?
Load More Replies... I found it harder to handle their mental rigidness in their old days.
This is a tough one! My mom has absolutely refused to learn anything about technology (among other things), and often bitches about how people waste so much time on "those damned computers." So instead of being able to stay connected with friends and family via social media and video calls and peruse all the fascinating stuff that's online, she complains about being left out and not having anything to do all day since she can't drive anymore and doesn't want to engage with all the nice people in her retirement community. I guess all we can do is make sure we don't become like them. Am I venting? Yes, so thanks for listening!
Load More Replies... I was raised by wolves, and I cut ties to my entire family when young thereby saving my sanity and life. Be thankful that you have lived long and good enough to be supportive when they need you. I know the pain of deep loss, it just makes me appreciate those I care for even deeper
Yes! It's a good time to think about your own death and try to find answers to some of the big questions.
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My mom died suddenly of a hemorrhagic stroke on Jan 02, 2022. Absolutely NOTHING can prepare you for their absence in your life. It feels like I've entered a parallel universe where everything just feels WRONG
My Dad died last month. Day after Christmas after a long terminal fight with cancer. I think the last 3 months helping Mom out with this poor shell of my Father was more tramatic than his death. So yes, did not expect the decline part - I didn't ever know it was going to get so horrible.
I was adopted and raised by grandparents. I'm only 33, 34 in march, and they're in their early and mid 80s. I'm terrified. They gave me so much more love than I'd ever had when they took me in at fourteen and I feel so ripped off that they're not my birth parents since I'll miss out on decades I would have had them. It hurts.
No matter how much you prepare for it, its still gonna be devastating.
Watching my dad to through an amputation, get better then lose his life suddenly to something completely unrelated was heartbreaking. The fact that he'd been in hospital for a month then having a heart attack as I was dressing him to go home was the worst part. He died twenty four hours after that heart attack, unconscious and in the ICU. At least he's at peace and no longer in constant pain.
My husband and I are dealing with aging parents and I know our 60's is going to be helping them so much more. It's sad to see and depressing. This all has helped a lot thanks to everyone that left a comment.
I hope you get to be in your 60's. My Mom died when I was in my early 30's and my Dad in my mid 40's. Knowing I have so many years of sorrow ahead of me brings its own anxiety.
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My abusive mother made my life a living hell. The day she died was a big release for me. If only it had happened @ birth, things would have been much better.
Already had to deal with this. My mom died suddenly in 2011, heart failure related to flu. I think. The hospital wasn't very clear. Then again, they were the ones who kept her waiting for 8 hours out in reception before getting her treatment, so I say it's that which killed her. Anyway, it's just my dad now, who's gonna be 82 this year. And while I'll miss him when he pops off, the one I had nightmares about losing was my mom. And that nightmare already came true.
I just know I'm going to be a wreck when the time comes for my mother.
My dad is almost 80, my mum is 76 but has numerous health problems along with Alzheimer's. I care for her most days and I think how I will cope once she's gone and how I will deal with it. My dad was very ill over Xmas and it was scary having to face the face my dad or mum might die fairly soon.
It's just heartbreaking. My mom had four strokes in one night just before New Year 2017 and lost a lot of her abilities like reading, dialing a phone, using a cell phone. She can handle a Roku okay, but she was brilliant 160+ IQ. She's been a smoker for 50 years and has congestive heart failure. She keeps getting hospitalized, but because the strokes hit her judgment and impulse control, she always starts smoking again. I quit buying her cigarettes and got her a vape, but she can't see well enough to plug it in. So I just wait, knowing one of these days soon she's going into the hospital and not coming out. I'm curious what others's experiences have been.
I lost my mother 4 weeks ago. 34 years she was my person. Best friends. And now life makes no sense. I keep checking my phone for a text from her. I never imagined I would lose her and it was so sudden, I couldn't prepare. I'm heartbroken and grieving so many things my kids won't experience with her. If anyone has advice please share. I'm still in a bit of a daze and have covid so I'm extra sensitive and emotional right now. :( love to you all.
The body dies, the soul does not. I find comfort in that knowing and still feel close to those I love who are no longer in their bodies.
Not yet 60 and already lost my daddy. Mama is not far behind. It's nothing, however, compared to losing a grandchild. Mama has lost one and I've lost 2.
Yep. Mom is declining and still tough as nails. I wish she had better role models for aging gracefully. I hope I am better at it....these past couple of years have been extra rough-of course
My father passed away. My brother couldn’t be in the room because of COVID. We were assured that if the time was coming we would have 48 hours and all be in the room. My brother and I stayed in a hotel. I talked to my sister and all was good; breakfast ordered, labs good, I hung up. Started to walk to the bathroom and my sister called and he was gone. That fast, that sudden. My brother and I ran to the car leaving everything and raced to the hospital, running as fast as we could across the parking lot and to my dads room. He was gone. They tried every rescusitation efforts they could for 23 minutes. This was over a year ago right after Christmas. I remember every detail, every move of every person involved. Continuously plays in my head on a loop…. You can’t prepare for this. You deal with this.
This actually worries me but because of the way my now adult son would feel if I died. My daughter would be sad and upset but my son will likely be traumatized beyond belief for the rest of his life. He's a proud Mama's boy. There has been a running joke in the family that if I die he will jump in the casket with me. How he will react when I pass away haunts me every day.
This is so hard. My dad doesn't remember me and I haven't heard from him in years, he moved somewhere. Mom forgets everything and is sometimes a danger to herself. My sister and I have become the parents.
We've done this twice in the past 3 years with my dearly missed in laws... Second time just last month.. my husband is 43. Nothing prepares you... Nothing
My biological mom passed away a few days ago (I’m adopted but had contact with my bio family and met her when I was 18). Both of my adoptive moms are alive and older than my bio mom so it’s hitting weird. Especially since last year we thought one of my adopted moms wasn’t going to make it after a series of huge health scares. Death sucks
It's a very real issue. I always knew my parents had health problems, they've never been great, especially since my dad has had cancer. But when I moved back to my hometown two years ago I saw how bad it's gotten. And seems to just keep going downhill since. My sister and I are equally convinced that unless they make drastic changes now (and due to how depressed both of them are about their health issues it won't happen), neither one will be here in 5 years. After losing all our grandparents, it's hard to deal with.
Life prepared me for this .my mother died when I was 5, and my father died when I was 18 . I have always acknowledged their existence .Cos death is but a temporary separation .As it comes to us all.
Also, it become difficult when your friends start losing their parents too. You are able to share your experiences and support each other.
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Be nice to them while they're around, make lots of good memories. Ask for their recipes, learn the things you relied on them to know. Tell them you love them, spend as much time with them as you can, for the love of god take pictures, take videos. You won't believe how quickly you forget someone's voice. I wish I was able to be an adult and have that much time to prepare. I lost my father in 2016 and my mother in October of last year. I'm 17.
Yeah it’s even worse if your the last of a large family and your mom is so far gone she can’t really remember you very well but she can remember your older siblings.
Losing my mil and watching what my wife went thru tormented me when my mother passes I know nothing will prepare me
Can't avoid it. Be honest about your health with eachother too!
Not to forget the decline and death of friends, siblings, pets and in the end yourself. All male relatives, including my dad, died between 65 and 70.years old. I am today 55. Not much math to do ☹️
I'm lucky in that respect, I'm counting the days til the bastar*s are all dead. No tears at their funeral, but I will be bringing a pre-prepared bottle of my own urine to pour on their grave.
We managed to get in contact with u/Frequent-Pilot5243 and they were kind enough to have a little chat with us about their viral post.
"It indeed is a good question and people replied with a lot of honesty," the Redditor told Bored Panda.
"As much as I would like to take the credit this isn't an original post. It is a repost; somebody had asked this question a year or year and a half ago."
Having to make dinner every. F***ing. Day.
Life is all about maintenance. Your body, your house, your relationships, everything requires constant never ending maintenance.
Didn't know that other adults have the emotional intelligence of teenagers and its almost impossible to deal with logically
Indeed, even we covered a thread that virtually asks the same question.
But the answers that this one has received make it a totally new discussion.
"I didn't expect it to blow up like this," u/Frequent-Pilot5243 said.
But some of these issues probably wouldn't even arise if paid more attention to their roots. Approximately 3 in 4 adult or young adult children who experienced a mental health challenge indicated at least some of the challenges occurred before the age of 18, and approximately half of them said that their parents never sought treatment for them, while approximately three quarters said that they wished their parents had done so.
Of these folks, approximately 67% said it was because they would not have suffered so much during their teenage years, approximately 66% said that they would be better equipped to handle their current problems, and approximately 64% said it would have better prepared them for adulthood.
So problems begin early on in our personal journeys. “Transitioning into adulthood is enough of a struggle. No one should have to battle their mental health at the same time,” Debbie Thomas, EdD, APRN, based in Louisville, Kentucky, explained the numbers in a statement.
If only we were better at noticing them...
Almost all of your friends wont be life long. No one really talks about how common it is to lose touch with people or grow apart. Most of your life will be spent either making new friends while losing old ones or being alone.
The more life you’ve lived, the faster time seems to go.
This! Exactly! How was 2020 2 years ago!?? I haven't even finished digesting 2019...??..??
That turning down the radio, when you are lost in a neighborhood helps you see better.
How easy it is to feel stuck in a bad situation (job, relationship, etc) just because the cost and effort of getting out can seem daunting. And sometimes you just have to accept a figurative bowl full of s**t because you can't afford to blow up your life.
How prevalent depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation is. At this point I think every adult has been through it at some point in their lives.
Lack of purpose.
All your young life you are given purpose of passing exams and learning, then all of a sudden you are thrown into the world and told to find your own meaning.
I feel this so badly. Since I became too ill to work or study I feel absolutely useless. I could get used to being unemployed but working in our garden for food/animals. But being only able to do housechores, and with a lot of difficulty, has broken me. My life now is emptying the dishwasher, laundry and tyding up a house that is never clean.
The kitchen is always dirty. You’ll clean it at least three times every day.
Figuring out what makes you happy. Everyone keeps trying to get you to do things you're good at, or that makes you money, but never to pursue what you enjoy
O.M.G. Yessss This. This is exactly how my whole adult life has been but couldn't explain it as well as this.
Working full time, but still not being able to afford the basic necessities of life.
Stop talking about Republicans versus liberals and start agreeing with each other on how screwed up the payment system is in the US maybe if we stopped arguing we could get something done. I'm talking to both you iconoclast and jmdirks.
Adult life being basically a permanent to-do list that just keeps on getting bigger and bigger
Without a support system, your mental illnesses alone can render you homeless.
So can a dozen other situations. It’s not hard to become homeless these days, what’s hard is dragging yourself out off that hole and not having it be your default go to when the s**t hits the fan. There is a YouTube channel titled Invisible People, run by a guy who experienced homelessness and got back on his feet, he now interviews homeless people. Although their stories can be hard to hear, it can really shine the light on how things like predatory lending, medical debt, divorce etc can land good hardworking people on the street.
Daughter with behavioral and mental issues. Then she got pregnant at 16. It was a roller coaster ride…very trying and about kicked my [butt].
My husband had esophageal cancer and then 9 years later had 14 brain lesions. Both times his survival rate was low, but he’s still here.
Feel like I’ve been in survival mode for years and years. I’m kinda tired now.
That I can horrifically f**k my neck up just by sleeping at a funny angle
Being 60 years old and still having to deal with people that act we’re still in high school. I can’t stand back biting and temper tantrums, and it seems even worse from 50 and 60 year olds. It’s embarrassing and I thought it would end, but apparently drama never ends
This may just be because I’m on the spectrum but networking for jobs. My parents had the same jobs since I was born so I never saw them or anyone else look for one that wasn’t a temporary job for a college student so I didn’t know. I thought hard work would basically show employers I was worth hiring and despite burning myself out I still lost out to people with half my ability because they were more sociable was baffling to me for a long time.
I'm close to 50. Would have been nice to be better prepared for some of the ways your body starts to change that don't normally get talked about. For instance, your teeth will start to shift from the general aging of your gums
I’ll say this: as a kid you think adults have it all together. Turns out we are just winging it.
My dad killed himself 3 days after my 31st birthday. And I still had to wake up and be a mother and a functional human being. Still have to.
There is no preparing for that.
That people will actively work against their own interests and/or the interests of society.
Growing up, you look at well adjusted adults and think “wow, these people know what’s going on and will help us all get to a better place.” Now? You realize there are a bunch of really stupid folk out there.
Getting burnt out
How much you have to clean. Like you are always cleaning something. I hate it
That once you are "stable" your life is f**king groundhog's day. Every day is basically the same. Same person I already married, same house I already have and already decorated, same job every day, same foods over and over. Same damn shows and movies and songs... Boring and sometimes I have a crazy spell because I just can't stand it... dysphoria sucks.
I love the stability and predictability. I now have the peace of mind to enjoy free time, being it arty, outdoory or cuddly. I'm all there and experience it to the full. Real connection to me, to nature or to someone else.
Being asked why I'm single and have no kids like I'm some sort of alien.
Just say "they died" and end all further questioning! And hopefully embarrass the nebby noser.
You can clearly see the systems that are in place to prevent you from advancing, but they're effective in preventing you from advancing.
Being an adult feels extremely lonely
Yes. I found a fellow Asperger to marry and now I'm not lonely anymore. I dread the day they'll die though! I block that train of thought though as that day is not here now. Live in the moment. Invite yourself over for coffee at the neighbours. There are many nice people out there.
How to fight with a partner. I just shut down because I don't know how to handle it.
As a kid, I was taught, if you work hard, you can buy a house and move out once you’re 18. I wish I could tell little me that isn’t gonna happen anytime soon haha
Unfortunately many of us weren’t told that working hard is only one part of the equation.
Feeling like I’ve already seen every plot known to man and so movies are very predictable and not as enjoyable as they were when I was younger.
Not having a lot of free-time or time by myself.
I don't have kids and this is one of the main reasons. I am an Adverse Childhood Experiences survivor and know myself well enough to know if I don't get regular time to myself my coping capacity goes down to near zero. Time on my own is used to decompress and process so I can keep on an even keel and not be a concern (or honestly just a plain nightmare) to my loved ones. It helps me maintain reality and own my emotional/mental state. I used to feel ashamed I "couldn't cope like everybody else" but now I just own it.
How to handle existential crisis and the looming thought of my own death and the deaths of those around me.
Live in the moment, in the now. You're not dead right now and neither are they. Your stress isn't a solution to these eventualities, it's not practical at all. You may stress when it happens, not before. And I assure you: you will be OK when it happens, because that time too is lived in moments and not as an avalanche. You are OK. You are built to experience life in moments and they're always in the here and now. You are built for this. You're a natural too and you will find so once you let your controlling mind back off a bit.
Imposter syndrome. And then realizing that likely every expert or professional you’ve ever really trusted also probably has imposter syndrome and knows much less than you think they do. This became very apparent to me during the pandemic when I realized that our governments and our medical professionals don’t have all the answers and we’re all just figuring things out as we go.
The intricacies of workplace politics.
I never realized how much school tried to condition us for the corporate world until I worked in the corporate world. Washroom breaks controlled: check. Expected to stay seated at your desk: check. Don't question the teacher/manager tells you: check. Meager, small "incentives" (gold star/free coffee/pizza days): check. Micromanaging: check. Disregard for medical care: check.
Chin hairs. They are an obsession. I tweeze them in a magnifying mirror several times a day. NOBODY told me females would have to deal with this. I feel like the bearded lady some days!
Or finding a long, mysterious, long, fine hair on some random part of your body, like your arm or nose, or below your eye, leg, back. Like wtf. I thought that was a witch thing.
Having to work 5 days a week. Who the f**k made this the norm. We need a 4 day week
Not having a pre-defined goal once I was out of college. Growing up my goals were set for me: get through elementary school! then middle school! Then high school, and get into college and get a degree, then get a job, and then...? Vague "advance in your career, buy a house, find a spouse, have a kid or multiple, then retire." At 22 I had no idea how to break that down more granularly. Until then the biggest choice I'd had to make was my college major - even my choice of school was mostly determined by scholarships and location! And then I had to find and choose a job all by myself! And then decide for myself when to leave it and find another! It was overwhelming.
My best advice I gotten from a friend is go to a career resource centre. Volunteer somewhere. Relax and just let things fall into place once you've made a move. Don't try too hard or make things too complicated for yourself.
You may have heard from your older relatives that when you get older, itll be your turn to take care of them. You never really understand just how much it takes until you're in that position.
Planning meals. It’s such a chore to feed yourself every day, planning your meals, budgeting meals, and making sure you like it and don’t get sick of the same meal because it was tasty and easy to make
How did I never notice that there was dust f**king everywhere? I swear to go I turn around from dusting and there’s more dust. I can’t keep up with our house. We are 2 adults and a dog. Dining room is in constant disarray because that’s where we let the dog go outside. Amazon packages pile up. why am I so f**king tired? We sre 26 and 32.
That no one gives a s**t how smart you are.
As a kid, everyone makes it sound like you're set for life if you're smart. No. You're set for life if you have a good work ethic, know how to stay motivated, and are fairly smart. That's when you make s**t happen.
Being too smart too early can actually impede you. I didn't figure this out completely until I was almost 30. And now, at 34, I'm just starting to really hit my stride.
My whole childhood, through highschool and even most of college, I could do no studying and still get As and Bs. And everyone told me how I was going to be so successful and it was so great that I was so smart. But I never had to work hard so I never learned to.
And guess what? Companies looking to hire you DO NOT GAF if you're smart. They care that you can do the job and do the job well and have the potential to grow.
You are held to account for bad behaviour for which you are negligent even if you had no intention to cause harm. As a lawyer, I see this all the time. People don't think they're responsible for mistakes. You are.
THIS, a million times THIS. The sense of entitlement by some, the dodging of responsibility by others. Why the hell is it so hard for so many to own their mistakes and not just fling it on to others or just deny they are responsible. It is especially infuriating when our government helps the wealthy and abusive get away with murder *PG&E CEOs and surgeons like Dr. Christopher Duntsch, leaving a pile of injured and dead people in their wake but no attorney to help them because the medical peeps successfully lobbied the US government to reduce malpractice awards. WTF!?!??
One adult problem nobody prepared me for is how expensive everything is. I always thought that as an adult I would be able to afford the things I wanted, but it turns out that's not always the case! I've had to learn how to budget and save up for the things I want, and it's been a difficult process.
My parents worked full time jobs and our house was still clean, our laundry was clean, we had a full meal on the table every night. My mom did all that. My dad did all the stereotypical man role stuff like fixing and laboring but my mom kept that house running while she worked full time.
We have kids and full time jobs and a big house and I cannot keep up. I get a meal on the table every night because the children have to eat but the rest gets so out of hand SO fast. Today I said to my kids “we need to get this house cleaned up this evening when we get home,” and one said “we just did that yesterday.” Yeah dude, you’ve been busy living your best 7 year old life.
Getting sick is too expensive.
Getting sick for a long time is costly anywhere. Being sick from birth even worse. Every year you are sick you lose pension fund, time to save money, for trainings, promotions, raises. And depending where you live after a few years being sick you either don’t get money, get reduced money, or just existential minimum. And even if you get back on your feet, you are a risk factor to some companies, thus have a harder time getting a job.
Having to care for yourself when you're sick.
I was 19, roommate was away for the weekend, and I had the most awful stomach virus. Nobody around to help.
Even when you live alone, and grocery shop on a regular basis, there will never be anything you feel like eating.
Yes, because in the back of your mind you’re calculating how much effort it will require to cook and whether the effort is worth the result.
Weight gain.
This is a cradle-to-grave situation.. Biology and time are involved, but our culture, with all the processed foods, stupid advertising, and crappy school lunches, is the biggest problem. Proper nutritional instruction needs to begin in kindergarten, home ec classes need to come back for boys and girls, and school gyms need to be equipped for all students, not just the jocks on the football team. And put swimming pools in all middle and high schools. Too expensive, you say? We seem to have money for everything else.
Birthdays will stop being fun and are gonna be a constant reminder that some day you'll get very old and then die...
I was unprepared for how much taxes reduce your retirment. We spend roughly $1000.00/ monthly between taxes and insurance, just to own stuff we already paid for. You will NEVER live anywhere free. Our system is designed against it...
Being judged for what I do with my hard earned adult money. Also the feeling of walking in a room and being seen as THE adult. My mind isn’t prepared to be the one w the answers.
Always get this feeling my bank is snooping in my account and making judgements. That has been confirmed a few times. "Umm... you're in your overdraft, currently. You need to leave money in there. It's supposed to be used for emergencies only." NAAAH. REally? Well, I need my rent paid and my stomach is rumbling. I'd say those are pretty important to use money on, thank you.
I was not prepared to have this much hair in places I do not wish to have hair.
Being able to do so many things because I'm an adult but too tired to do any of them.
That you spend most of your waking hours on activities you'd rather not be doing (work, chores, commuting, etc.)
Why the f**k does my back hurt all the f**king time and why does my nose and ears have hair ?
Why do so many things require different kinds of soap?
Shampoo = hair soap
Body wash = body soap
Toothpaste = tooth soap
Laundry detergent = clothes soap
Dishwasher = special soap
Washing dishes by hand = another special soap
Mopping = floor soap
Carpet cleaner = carpet soap
Washing my car = car soap
I AM ALWAYS BUYING SOAP.
Basic car maintenance.
Should I fill the gas up now on my way home, or tomorrow in my way in?
S***ty mental health and constant existential crisis
So many people knock the institutional churches, but having a spiritual life makes mental health and the existential crisis easier to bear. Don't discredit faith just because of the hypocrites. Religion and faith are two different things.
Being without your Parents
Aging parents
and grandparents. My grandmother begged me to move to Indiana to care for her and my grandfather. She had 13 kids and over 100 grandkids that lived within 50 miles of them. TBH, if I had not been married with a good job, I would have done it. She died Aug.6, 1989. The day before my birthday.
Losing/Making friends after you’ve outgrown the bar scene.
Also, the amount of friends you lose after getting married was a shocker, too. They just stop inviting you out or even over to their houses.
lol and the excuse they give for not coming over is priceless "We LiVe AcRoSs ThE rIvEr. It'S tOo FaRrrrrrr."
Your bills are wrong. Someone counted wrong or forgot to file a form and now you must pay hundreds of euro extra for electricity unless you get on the phone and argue with a stranger before 5pm today.
Cheese is so expensive
Rent
I didn't know rent would be so high, and all the extra requirements there are just to get accepted: credit, rent history, job longevity, income rate. And if you're missing something you'll need a cosigner, where you're locked into needing one forever because all your tenancy history and rent payment credit goes to the cosigner.
That your parents, if they live long enough will look to you to be the adult in the room.
Depression as an adult, at least as a kid you get healthy amounts of attention and love, and as a teenager you get to have a group of people to spend time and look away.
Being on your own in that abyss really is something I could have never envisioned
Paying sales tax when you buy a vehicle and then subsequently having to pay property tax on the same vehicle each year.
Where did all my friends go?
find new ones. They convene around common interests, join a club. Also neighbours are mostly nice people. Internet is good too.
I thought for a long time that 65 was a magic age--you could stop working, and get a LOT of money, that you had never saved. Like the government just gave it to you. Of course Social Security is like that, except for the "LOT" part.
Something needs to change in our society or I dont see how we can continue. Most young people I know is poor and has terrible emntal health. How long can we keep this up?
I believe something is gonna change whether people want it to or not.
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I LOVE the freedom that comes with ageing. Choosing which social rules I find important, ignoring the rest.
I don't think you can be fully prepared for adulthood. Parents should (try) to educate their children on how to handle "life" in general. What and how to behave: in general, conflict, etc. Give them tools.
I feel that the problem is that parents in the last decades hid too many of their problems to their kids so they grew up thinking that life was going to be fair and easy. You shouldnt burden your kids all the time of course but its not ok to make them believe that life is always good.
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When you became 50 but it feels you were 30 just 2 months ago.
How much is sucks not being able to punch another adult. Some people really deserve to be punched but assult is illegal.
Am I the only one that has a kid could never imagine themselves as adults? Couldn't imagine the kids or the car or the house payment? Paying taxes and the 9-5? I'm very much an adult and still can't see it.
All it took was 2 elections and 1 bad term for me to discover that roughly half the people in this country are nuts.
This kind of post needs to come with a warning lol. Reading these all together is enough to trigger depression if you’re that way inclined. Yes, adulthood can be hard and a lot of work, but it can also be extremely rewarding and being massive joy. Reading this post makes it super easy to forget that
You are absolutely right Natalie!! Being an adult, even with an ordinary mundane life, gives you opportunities to discover great things!
Load More Replies... And many kids don't listen to their parents when they try to explain what to do to be successful.
Load More Replies... A general feeling of losing control over your own life because of all the things you HAVE to do, are EXPECTED to do or MUST do to maintain everything is what gets people the most. It's like your freedom is taken away from you. I'm probably speaking from privilige but I feel that lots of people could take back more control over their life than they think they can. I mean, you can't just get up and dump your kids and husband, but you CAN reevaluate just how much of a disaster will unfold if you DON'T immediately do this or that.
I love that this ended up being a board where many if us could share. I've only found this site a month ago but I've been very happy here. Nobody selling things, very few political discussions and strife between people. Ivd found such amazing strangers here! And this post was just a place where we could all share our same experiences. I know I probably talked lots but I felt safe! Less judgey people here. I love it!
I never thought I'd wind up with a chronic illness that forced out of a job I spent 9 years and a lot of money preparing for. Also a wife who worked through two pregnancies full term to help me do it. Yet, here I am. The hardest thing anyone will have to accept about being an adult is that life wasn't, isn't and never will be fair.
Here's on for me: Realizing that college students look like babies to me. I'm only 33 but it makes me feel like something recently uncovered in a tomb in Egypt.
Oh, and your parents thought that you were an a*hole in your teens. Then you think your teens are real a*holes. And they will think the same about your grandchild.
From a certain age you are much more relaxed than before... but at the same time some things annoy you all the more. I'm in my early 50s and really couldn't care less what others think of me. On the other hand... there has been constant construction going on somewhere in my neighborhood for almost 5 years now and the heavy construction vehicles are increasingly ruining our paved street ... which really annoys me.
No one ever tells you when you're a kid how expensive rugs are. Seriously, why do they cost so much?
I'm missing one for the ladies. Some of us have been and others haven't been prepared for getting periods. I was. Thought it was a good thing. I knew I was to expect bleeding monthly. Didn't know I was to expect feeling like s**t so many days in advance that for half a month I'd feel happy and on top of the world and the other half crying all the time and craving chocolate and feeling all together miserable. Every month again. Year in year out. Now I look forward to see this misery end, but when I look at ladies who are older than me I wonder if that would make me happy because they all (at least in my surroundings) become nagging sour pusses with marital problems so now I'm like: is that what I'm looking forward too?
It's honestly scary how relatable most of these are. I mean it's good to know I'm not alone but it's more depressing in a way. We need to do better. We need to work on humanity. Work on SOCIETY.
Having been raised to be ready for the apocalypse, and on a farm (mostly), I can say that my childhood prepared me to be an adult by age 10, and I'd have liked to be a kid a bit more, but ... A pandemic hits, and I was basically, "OK, got this," and on life went/goes. Would've been nice to be a "kid" more, but that wasn't our option.
All the comments above is because you are all snowflakes and lazy, typical millennial excuses for your mental health.....your generation is useless and always complain about how things are so hard, and its hard to be an adult....just think how many generations before you survived with far less than you have.....bad internet connection and you all cry and seek a social worker.....f me......part of life..suck it up snowflakes
Most of these come from bad parenting and being an atheist. Both suck and make your life miserable. You can change it tho...
When we started giving out participation trophy's to kids for just showing up. Now it seems like everyone thinks they deserve everything everyone else has and they lose their minds when they can't have it. Just because your parents are well off, doesn't mean you will be.
Something needs to change in our society or I dont see how we can continue. Most young people I know is poor and has terrible emntal health. How long can we keep this up?
I believe something is gonna change whether people want it to or not.
Load More Replies... I LOVE the freedom that comes with ageing. Choosing which social rules I find important, ignoring the rest.
I don't think you can be fully prepared for adulthood. Parents should (try) to educate their children on how to handle "life" in general. What and how to behave: in general, conflict, etc. Give them tools.
I feel that the problem is that parents in the last decades hid too many of their problems to their kids so they grew up thinking that life was going to be fair and easy. You shouldnt burden your kids all the time of course but its not ok to make them believe that life is always good.
Load More Replies... When you became 50 but it feels you were 30 just 2 months ago.
How much is sucks not being able to punch another adult. Some people really deserve to be punched but assult is illegal.
Am I the only one that has a kid could never imagine themselves as adults? Couldn't imagine the kids or the car or the house payment? Paying taxes and the 9-5? I'm very much an adult and still can't see it.
All it took was 2 elections and 1 bad term for me to discover that roughly half the people in this country are nuts.
This kind of post needs to come with a warning lol. Reading these all together is enough to trigger depression if you’re that way inclined. Yes, adulthood can be hard and a lot of work, but it can also be extremely rewarding and being massive joy. Reading this post makes it super easy to forget that
You are absolutely right Natalie!! Being an adult, even with an ordinary mundane life, gives you opportunities to discover great things!
Load More Replies... And many kids don't listen to their parents when they try to explain what to do to be successful.
Load More Replies... A general feeling of losing control over your own life because of all the things you HAVE to do, are EXPECTED to do or MUST do to maintain everything is what gets people the most. It's like your freedom is taken away from you. I'm probably speaking from privilige but I feel that lots of people could take back more control over their life than they think they can. I mean, you can't just get up and dump your kids and husband, but you CAN reevaluate just how much of a disaster will unfold if you DON'T immediately do this or that.
I love that this ended up being a board where many if us could share. I've only found this site a month ago but I've been very happy here. Nobody selling things, very few political discussions and strife between people. Ivd found such amazing strangers here! And this post was just a place where we could all share our same experiences. I know I probably talked lots but I felt safe! Less judgey people here. I love it!
I never thought I'd wind up with a chronic illness that forced out of a job I spent 9 years and a lot of money preparing for. Also a wife who worked through two pregnancies full term to help me do it. Yet, here I am. The hardest thing anyone will have to accept about being an adult is that life wasn't, isn't and never will be fair.
Here's on for me: Realizing that college students look like babies to me. I'm only 33 but it makes me feel like something recently uncovered in a tomb in Egypt.
Oh, and your parents thought that you were an a*hole in your teens. Then you think your teens are real a*holes. And they will think the same about your grandchild.
From a certain age you are much more relaxed than before... but at the same time some things annoy you all the more. I'm in my early 50s and really couldn't care less what others think of me. On the other hand... there has been constant construction going on somewhere in my neighborhood for almost 5 years now and the heavy construction vehicles are increasingly ruining our paved street ... which really annoys me.
No one ever tells you when you're a kid how expensive rugs are. Seriously, why do they cost so much?
I'm missing one for the ladies. Some of us have been and others haven't been prepared for getting periods. I was. Thought it was a good thing. I knew I was to expect bleeding monthly. Didn't know I was to expect feeling like s**t so many days in advance that for half a month I'd feel happy and on top of the world and the other half crying all the time and craving chocolate and feeling all together miserable. Every month again. Year in year out. Now I look forward to see this misery end, but when I look at ladies who are older than me I wonder if that would make me happy because they all (at least in my surroundings) become nagging sour pusses with marital problems so now I'm like: is that what I'm looking forward too?
It's honestly scary how relatable most of these are. I mean it's good to know I'm not alone but it's more depressing in a way. We need to do better. We need to work on humanity. Work on SOCIETY.
Having been raised to be ready for the apocalypse, and on a farm (mostly), I can say that my childhood prepared me to be an adult by age 10, and I'd have liked to be a kid a bit more, but ... A pandemic hits, and I was basically, "OK, got this," and on life went/goes. Would've been nice to be a "kid" more, but that wasn't our option.
All the comments above is because you are all snowflakes and lazy, typical millennial excuses for your mental health.....your generation is useless and always complain about how things are so hard, and its hard to be an adult....just think how many generations before you survived with far less than you have.....bad internet connection and you all cry and seek a social worker.....f me......part of life..suck it up snowflakes
Most of these come from bad parenting and being an atheist. Both suck and make your life miserable. You can change it tho...
When we started giving out participation trophy's to kids for just showing up. Now it seems like everyone thinks they deserve everything everyone else has and they lose their minds when they can't have it. Just because your parents are well off, doesn't mean you will be.
