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Despite all the less than savory aspects of humankind and the prejudices we hold, there’s still hope for us, I feel. People can change and, sometimes, they change for the better. And that’s a dollop of light and magic in these dark and uncertain times.
Former racists opened up about what made them change their ways in a thread on r/AskReddit, and their stories give an important glimpse into how nobody’s ever beyond redemption. Scroll down to read their stories. When you’re done, let us know in the comments if you know anyone who has ever renounced their racist mindset in a similar fashion and why, dear Pandas.
I reached out to redditor u/Gamerbrineofficial, the author of the r/AskReddit thread, to get their opinion. They were kind enough to answer my questions. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with them.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My father's side was very racist, but it was a black neighbor who helped feed us when we were very poor.
As I got older, I realized she didn't even like us very much, but she was a mom who hated seeing hungry kids. That had a profound effect on me when I was small. How could black people be bad if they were giving us food? I decided my father was wrong at around age six.
Saddest part, I don't even remember her name. I wish I could thank her.
Mad Dragon 4 years ago
God Bless that neighbor who decided to feed the kids no matter what their parents were teaching them. Hungry kids are hungry no matter what their parents believe, and kindness towards kids is never the wrong choice.
Steve Riddle 4 years ago
Knowing that we all share the same DNA, and knowing that millions of humans are stuck on skin color is the ultimate in shallow thinking. In the Southern USA there's millions of white people who are part black from the slavery days. At lot of them who have blonde hair and blue eyes claim to be part Indigenous too.
Ross Hamilton 4 years ago
I live here in the UK - I became decidedly not racist when I realised that most of the immigrants in the UK actually contribute a hell of a lot more to society than the white english people who spend all day bitching about how foreigners took their job, whilst sitting on their a**e fiddling benefits.
The author of the r/AskReddit thread, u/Gamerbrineofficial, told Bored Pand about the inspiration behind the question that they asked. "I had just watched a YouTube video about an ex-Nazi and a Jewish person talking about their lives when I got the idea for the post," they shared with Bored Panda what got them thinking about life.
The redditor believes that exposing ourselves to new cultural experiences, whether through volunteering, travel, or other ways, can help make us more accepting of other people. "I think by embracing other races and cultures as human, we can work towards a better world."
RELATED:
#2
My story is a bit different from the others here. I was a skinhead since I was a kid..about 13. We ran in a gang and listened to both racial music and also nonracial music. We were a bit mouthy etc about race, but the place we grew up in was totally white. There was one Chinese lass out our whole school..about 1,200 people. It didn't take me too long to realize that the "they took our jobs" talk was a load of s**te as there were no ethnic people..and no jobs. So I did grow out of the racist thing myself pretty quickly.
It was only really when I went to university that I actually encountered different races. I got to work beside black and Asian guys, played football with Africans and Greeks and generally had a great time and met great people who I still keep in contact with. I think even though I didn't consider myself racist..I couldn't imagine me having black friends..or going on holiday with a group that included several Muslims, which I did do a couple of years back.
Wee funny story before I end about prejudices. I went to live in another city, and was just myself..talk to anyone. One night I got a cab. The driver was a Muslim in full Pakistani cultural gear. Skull cap, long gown etc. I thought, people are people and have the right to do or dress how they want, but I don't think we are going to have a lot o talk about, not much common ground. I gave him my address and sat back to chill out.
Guy turns round..you a Scot? I said yeah mate. Then he starts chatting about when he first came to England in the 60s before the majority of Pakistanis, he used to get picked on at school. The other guys who were picked on were Scots and Irish. So they formed a gang of the eight of them. From that day they could go watch football, go out at night, and generally stick up for each other. He said, that was a long time ago, and I still get a shiver when I hear Scots or Irish accents. Now he teaches kids at the mosque not to dislike white christians, and the best ways to mix and interact. We sat for 20 minutes when we arrived at my house and just shot the breeze.
I think that's when the last bit of bigotry left me.
deanna woods 4 years ago
The whole "they're taking our jobs" thing has always annoyed me and I am glad someone else sees it as bs. When I was a teenager, there were these ladies that were Hispanic and some of them could not speak English well and they worked at a local convience store making breakfast burritos. They were doing a job no one else wanted to do.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
In Germany it is especially "funny" because we literally imported foreign workers back between 1950 and 1973. German economy boomed and we had not enough workers.
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Andy Acceber 4 years ago
I think he probably means racist and nonracist. A lot of white supremacist cults have their own hate music with lyrics that bash everyone they've decided to hate. Racist music is an underground, but sadly huge, industry.
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Rage of Aquarius 4 years ago
The cabbie reminds me of my grandma. She always talked about learning Spanish as a kid growing up in a Massachusetts ghetto in the 60s. She came from a poor Irish family, and they were bullied a lot, but they always stuck up for each other.
KimB 4 years ago
Songs written and performed by bands which lyrics are exclusively racial slurs and generally just garbage and noise.
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M O'Connell 4 years ago
But a homogenous culture which actively places blame for its own problems upon absent people of another culture is inherently racist. I knew someone who one day felt the need to share that he felt many of our problems were due to "the Jews." I just stared at him and asked if he had ever even met a Jewish person before (the answer was 'no'). How convenient that all life's problems are attributable to people they don't know and who happen to not be around.
Load More Replies... #3
Not me, but my dad was quite racist to the local native group. My dad was a woodsman and felt the native land agreements were unfair, and didn't agree with their hunting and fishing rights/treaties.
At age 18 during my last year of highschool I was doing a lot of community volunteer work and my dad helped out managing a youth program with me. The parent group above us arranged for an event at the local reserve.
My dad begrudgingly went with me to the event to supervise the younger kids.
It was a transformative experience for him. We were invited to take part in a drum circle, did a bunch of ice breaker activities, listened to talks, met elders, and were served amazing food.
The band gave my dad a t-shirt and he proudly wore it so often after that, someone actually asked him if he was native. (he does have darker skin colouring from being outside but is still as white as they come)
Now my dad speaks out a lot against racism directed at native/indigenous folks. He's become very passionate.
On the one hand I'm really glad he improved but on the other I think it's sad he needed a personal experience of such magnitude to have empathy. It places the burden on THEM to educate US. But I suppose it's still better than him being racist the rest of his life.
KatHat 4 years ago
That's a really important observation there at the end. "It shouldn't have to happen to you, to matter to you." Being able to think about and care about others' experiences is vanishing and it's making the entire world worse.
Alphabet Soupy 4 years ago
It is. I live in Texas, and of course we have deadly shootings everyday, and without fail the people that are interviewed always say “it could have been me” and all I’m thinking was “but it DID happen!!! That person is dead! They’re gone! They had family! They had friends! They had coworkers they joked with! They had a LIFE!”
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DC 4 years ago
People should generally, instead of being ashamed, share their transformative experiences a lot more. I cannot deliver here, I'm glad I'm allowed to say so, but still - a transformation takes strength, will, insight and it takes being ready to transform, to leave old ideas that may have grown somewhat loved even ... it takes more to leave racism than it takes to never enter, and by the time you're able to understand it, already being against it... Therefore, cheers to your Dad!
King Kashue 4 years ago
That last bit is so important - **It is not the responsibility of targets of oppression and marginalization to also take on the burden of educating non-target groups**. It's great when someone is willing to do so, and thank everyone who does, but **IT IS NOT THEIR RESPONSIBILITY**. There are few more insidiously privileged attitudes out there than one of "Oh, I would have cared *if only* someone had brought the information to me and laid it at my feet - I mean, how could I possibly have known otherwise?!?"
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
So glad he was able to make this transformation. Sometimes personal experience is the best teacher
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Again, it's very hard to maintain prejudice against people when you actually interact with them. Also ironic that dad was unhappy about their land rights. Just shows you how skewed racism is, that he was okay with white people coming and completely dispossessing people of their land and their lives!
deanna woods 4 years ago
Sometimes in order to let go of hate,we need a better understanding of the people that we hate.
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
At least he wasn’t so bigoted that he refused to go to the reserve and take on board what he saw and heard.
I also wanted to get the redditor's opinion about modern-day racism. "I agree racism is alive in the 21st century (unfortunately) and has been alive since other races first started interacting with one another," they told Bored Panda. Despite the fact that there are people fighting for more tolerance in the world, u/Gamerbrineofficial doesn't believe that racism can ever be fully eradicated. "I do not think, sadly, that racism will ever be fully gone from the human race. It is a sad reality that there will always be hateful people in the world."
Previously, I spoke about accepting everyone, no matter our differences, with award-winning human rights activist and writer, Elizabeth Artif-Fear. She told Bored Panda that at the core of acceptance lie empathy, communication, listening, dialogues, and compassion. We have to strive to expand our social circles and move out of our own echo chambers and comfort boxes.
"It's important to meet, socialize, work with and get to know people from a variety of different backgrounds—people from different ethnic backgrounds, age groups, faith traditions, nationalities, etc. This helps us to learn about different views, beliefs, experiences, and values,” she said.
#4
This story is difficult to share. I am typing this at the request of my son.
I was raised as a racist. We lived in Southern California near a lot of minorities. My father was a union leader and I think his hatred of minorities came from his job, because the union was mostly white guys and they saw the minorities as trying to take their jobs. Whenever we would drive around and see them in the street, my dad would always point them out and talk s**t about them.
I grew up and had kids of my own. I was doing the same thing to them without realizing it. One day I came home and caught my 14 year old daughter screwing around with a black kid. I threw him out of my house and beat him in my driveway. The cops were called and I went to prison for assault. In prison, I saw how ethnically divided everything was, but my counselor was the one who basically shook me out of it. She helped me realize that continuing this hatred would really only hurt my own life. I tried to avoid the racial groups in my prison. I stayed on my own and earned my GED. In my classes I met a lot of minorities who had also never graduated high school. I listened to my counselor and got to know them and realized what a hard life they had. Before, I thought that they were just lazy and sold drugs for easy money. We went through a lot of the same struggles in our education.
When I got out, I started a construction company. I make an effort to hire both former cons and also minorities. I am trying to make up for the kind of things I have done in the past.
Natasha Hartman 4 years ago
Thank your daughter for me. I believe writing it down and saying it out loud will keep you in this path
#5
I met a holocaust survivor. He was a child at the camp in Sobibor. It was a life changing experience. Without it, I’d probably have ended up being part of the alt-right. Instead, I got a real wake up call and have taken to being a major supporter or human rights.
snipergun 4 years ago
Never forget what they went through. It doesn't change what happened and how bad it was, but the moment we forget it, nothing will stand between us and repeating same mistakes.
Karla Nelsen 4 years ago
Those mistakes are starting to be repeated in the US. :(
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Marek Yanchurak 4 years ago
It's certainly not any where near to being on the same level, but Trump's "big lie" here in the US (and similar disinformation campaigns around the world, re covid, etc, etc) are definitely of the same ilk as Holocaust denialism. Truth may not be pretty, but that doesn't make it not true.
deanna woods 4 years ago
There is a congressman that supports Trump's "big lie" that went to Hitler's bunker. He called it a "bucket list trip".
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Lovin' Life 4 years ago
I have met a couple survivors of the holocaust and their story are so sad. I totally agree with snipergun. We must never forget as to not repeat the past.
deanna woods 4 years ago
One of my childhood friends is Jewish and I can't imagine how hard it is for her to hear people say that the Holocaust didn't really happen.
h to da izzle 4 years ago
i am german and i am still ashamed of what happened in these years even if i can't be blamed for it
Sheila McEnany Markowitz 4 years ago
My father in law, Jewish man, fought in WWII. He was shot down from the sky three times. One time he landed in the English Channel and survived almost three hours before being rescued. The last time he ended up in a prisoner of war camp for 14 months. He received many medals and honors for his service, as he was a true patriot, and as I mentioned, was Jewish. Stereotypes and prejudice serve the good of no one. They can bring great harm to those upon who they are leveled and make the ones holding such beliefs appear ignorant.
Lily Mae Kitty 4 years ago
my 1st grade teacher was a holocaust survivor and had the tattoo. She was extremely scary and mean and I didn't really understand at 6 what she'd been through.
#6
I was skinhead adjacent during high school. It offered me identity and a sense of belonging and purpose. Started becoming more extreme, identifying more with the idea of white oppression by “the Jews”. Then I had this sudden realization that my best friend was a Jew. And his family offered me more acceptance and belonging than I’d ever find in the movement. It was an amazing aha moment. To think that I was teaching myself to hate the people who showed me the most love was a little heartbreaking but it was an important moment in my life. I’ve never looked back.
Viviane 4 years ago
Back then, some just liked the look. Some were on the left. The shoelace colour was the distinguishing feature.
Load More Replies... DogMom 4 years ago
I was raised in a strict Christian household and that shaped my views on homosexuality early in life. It was in high school when I found out one of my best friends might be a lesbian when that started to change. I wasn’t willing to lose a friend over those views. I still wasn’t fully changed until I had a realization after university that people don’t choose to be gay. Once I had that epiphany, I became hardcore ally ever since. It all began with one person humanizing the group for me. Sad that it’s necessary but powerful.
Lovin' Life 4 years ago (edited)
Beautiful story! So glad you kept an open mind and accepted the love! Diversity doesn't mean you have to hate others. Always be kind.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Israel and Jew are not synonymous. Not all Jewish people support Israel. It's really ironic on a thread about racism to make a sweeping generalization like that.
Load More Replies...According to the human rights activist, volunteering and travel are two ways that can help us learn more about the world and how different people live.
“That's why initiatives in our local area such as volunteer projects, inter-community groups, interfaith projects, and social/youth clubs which enable us to meet as many different people as possible are so important. Authentic travel is also important but not affordable or accessible to everyone. Funded schemes, fellowships, and intercultural exchange programs may offer more affordable and accessible ways to engage," she told Bored Panda.
#7
Lets pretend you’ve never seen a platypus. But you’ve heard about them. You’ve heard that they have a bill and webbed feet. You’ve heard that they lay eggs. You’ve heard that they have a tail like a beaver. But you, yourself, have never seen one. You take for granted that these things are true because EVERYONE around you says they are.
I grew up in a super tiny farm town in the middle of nowhere. All 300 people in the town were white. My parents were racist. My friends were racist. My friend’s parents were racists. Even the vast majority of teachers in our k-12 school grew up in or around my town, and were racist. Guess what? With literally every single person around me telling me that black people were inferior, i thought black people were inferior. I took for granted that it was true, because it seemed unlikely that EVERYONE was wrong. Just like I currently take for granted that a platypus lays eggs.
When I was 10 I went to a summer camp a few hours north of me. There were black, hispanic, and asian kids there. Hell, I even shared a cabin with a black kid. I honestly thought I would get attacked at night. By the end of the third day of camp, I realized that other than talking a bit different, my black cabinmate was no different than my white cabinmates. And the talking a bit different thing didn’t bother me. I had family from other parts of the US that talked different from me, and it didn’t matter much.
This started a slow but steady realization in me that maybe my parents were wrong about things, and maybe people were just people. I’d like to think that I treat everyone with the same level of respect today. I sincerely hope I do, anyway.
Still not sure about platypus though
King Kashue 4 years ago
This is true in more subtle ways as well. Think of how media shapes our worldview. How much harder is it to imagine black men as leaders when they're not depicted as such in media. Or women. What happens when nearly all major films are directed by white guys? How does it shape our views when LGBTQ* folks are depicted only as victims or comic relief? How does it shape our views when half the time we don't even get to see Queer actors playing Queer parts? That's why representation matters. That's why Black Panther and Shang Chi are culturally relevant even though they're "popcorn movies" - it's *because* they're popcorn movies, it's because they're smackdab in the mainstream properties *and* films where everyone in front of and behind the camera are the people whose story is being told. Never underestimate the power of inculturated ideas - that they're not big/flashy/preachy/obvious/whatever *is the exact reason* they're so powerful.
deanna woods 4 years ago
If this person had never gotten that exposure to a black person, their mindset may have never changed. Just because everyone around says something doesn't make that something true.
Patti Vance 4 years ago
great way of explaining this issue. sounds like you should read 'plato's cave' as it is kind of the same message. ppl in a cave have only fire light. then, all they see are shadows on the walls of animals, people, etc. so all sorts of ideas are come up with as to what these creatures are and come to fear and hate them.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Another weird one...how can you hate someone whose culture you've never experienced? Like, what exactly is the basis of your hatred toward them when you've never encountered them?
Dodo 4 years ago
It's fear/hatred of the unknown. You see how many people would be ready to fight aliens? They don't have a damn clue what those aliens are like, but they're being fed the idea that they're scary.
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°CORLEONE° 4 years ago
The platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus), sometimes referred to as the duck-billed platypus, is a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal endemic to eastern Australia. (copied from Wikipedia) 😊
#8
A lot of my old racist tendencies were subtly taught through culture and peers. I didn't start changing until I finally realized what Dr. Martin Luther King meant in his speech: don't judge people by the things they had no choice over, judge them by the choices they make.
It's never somebody's choice to be born black, asian, middle eastern, Hispanic, gay, bisexual, or transexual. It's totally somebody's choice to want to see them wiped from the face of the Earth.
Mad Dragon 4 years ago
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
"It's a lot harder to hate than it is to love, but to love needs more maturity, and this is why hate is more abundant in the world" :).
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Kote McGlaughlin 4 years ago
This is beautiful but just a correction as a trans person. Transsexual is an outdated term implying that one has to go through full surgery before “truly being trans”. The correct term is transgender.
#9
I was 1 of 3 native people in a school with 300 people. I was harassed daily, got called a chug, squaw, dirty Indian and was told to go back to my rez. I've had food, bottles and other things thrown at me. My cellphone was stolen and smashed days after my parents saved up to buy me my own. Girls would try and physically fight me for no other reason than that I didn't look like them.
By the end of highschool I HATED white people. I thought they all hated me so it would be fine if I expressed the same kind of resentment and anger, even towards strangers who hadn't done anything wrong.
All it took to change my mind, was a trip to a national park with my dog. People were so friendly and kind. I couldn't believe it, people from all of the world were interacting with me and my dog. I was receiving nothing but kindness and love, especially from white people and children who wanted to pet my dog. That's all it took, was a dog to undo years of my racism towards white people. Surely if my dog could love any human he encountered, why couldn't I?
Kay blue 4 years ago
It's hardly surprising that OP felt how they did about white people. Being bullied all through school for not being white is going to have an affect on you.
Tonya Wallace 4 years ago
It's the same when White people complain about Black people being racist. Yeah we can be, but it's a defense mechanism more than hatred. I mean for real, Whites don't have a great track record when it comes to how they treat us.
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KatHat 4 years ago
I think hating your violent oppressors is not the same as groundless racism. You were being abused and you ended up hating your abusers. That is normal.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Except that thinking that all whites are abusers is racist and hateful. Understandable in their case but still bad
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
Here's the thing, reverse racism is very different from white-on-others racism. Because as you point out, you were mistreated, and victimized and bullied and discriminated against. No one could blame you for hating white people. Whereas with white racism, it's based upon nothing of any substance but gossip and stupidity. The two types of racism are not equal. I'm sorry for your negative experiences, and I'm glad that you've had positive experiences to counteract what you suffered before.
marianne eliza 4 years ago
Kind of depressing to realize that dogs are more intelligent than a good percentage of the people in this world.
Dennis Mikulus 4 years ago
Dogs are social lubricants. People are like 100 times more likely to talk to you if you are with a nice dog.
Caiman 94920 4 years ago
I grew up in the SF bay area in the 70's, everyone thought it was cool that my dad was Native American. Then we moved to Elko NV...the high school was so weird, the white kids didn't like us because we were part Native, the Native kids didn't like us cause we were part white, so my sister and I ended up with the 2 Jewish girls, one Black kid a couple of chicanes and the girl with Down's Syndrome. Some of the teachers hated the fact that I was one of the top students and thought I was cheating somehow. It was like going back to the 1800's, the school was so divided and after growing up in CA, I hated it. We moved to Idaho the next year, my best friend I made there was great but one day her mom made a remark about "this is why I don't believe in mixed marriages, referring to my white mom and brown dad....it blew. my mind. Really glad to get back to CA the next year
Patti Vance 4 years ago
experienced much the same thing as i was the only white person in an all black school. the only exception was one chinese girl. this was during the civil rights movement in oakland ca. i was bullied, harassed and, at one point, had my hair set on fire. we later moved to a community that had three black students in an all white school. my previous experienced made me realize what it was like for them and gave me the fortitude to stand up to those who tried to bully them.
Noir 4 years ago
Don't know why you were down voted just for sharing an experience that was about you facing racism. Take my upvote as an apology for those that like to color code racism.
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"If we only ever meet, see, and talk with people of exactly the same backgrounds we miss out on the varied nuanced diverse experiences of life. In such a context, we can't work to understand other people's needs, wants, views and experiences as best as possible. We're all neighbors and our diversity should be celebrated,” Elizabeth said.
“Learn a new language, volunteer at a non-profit organization supporting people from different backgrounds, and go out there and meet people and visit places (when safe to do so!)," she suggested some ways in which anyone can broaden their minds.
#10
I fell hard for a guy of color. Made me question everything - every thought I ever had. And while it didn’t work out I’m forever grateful for him and his compassion and patience.
Nicki 4 years ago
FACTS! The hubs grew up in a racist household, but he started dating me after he moved out (the first black girl he ever dated), and here we are almost 25 years, and two beautiful children later, and we are happier than ever! Love always wins 😉
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#11
I teach film to kids some times, and we come in and make a film with these kids in a matter of days. This one kid I had in my group recently was known as coming from a racist household, mainly against refugees (a big point here in Europe right now). He made some remarks here and there, and when watching the news got very focal against refugees.
We were going to show a short documentary about refugees, and the teacher was preparing me that this kid could be triggered by this and be annoying. The documentary we watched was from the point of view of a kid just a few years older then the kids in this class. You saw him struggling to learn our language, living in close quarters and most importantly living far away from his parents. A big part of the film was about him trying to get permission to get his mother and sisters, whom he had not seen in years, here.
At the end of the film the refugee family was not reunited. After trying for years to no avail. The kids in the class were all devastated, but most of all this one ‘racist’ kid. He insisted on signing the petition to help the boy in front of the whole class, and was noticeably upset about the situation the boy lived in.
It warmed my heart to see him go against the hate he had been taught. Kids aren’t racist. They are just copying their parents. The empathy in a child is such a wonderful thing.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I see this a lot while interacting with other kids. They're just repeating what their parents say, they don't have their own opinions most of the time. They need to learn how to think for themselves, especially since many of them are anti-mask and anti-vax.
Agnes Jekyll 4 years ago
Contact--it's all about contact. People can be made into monsters, but only if you never meet or talk to those people.
Jofeen 4 years ago (edited)
A young boy I worked with very briefly once was 'a troublemaker, a bad lad, a real little s**t' and got lumped with me because nobody else could be bothered with him. But what he actually was was a sweet, loving, innocent little boy that was being groomed (age 5) by his extremely racist, not law abiding father to one day "take over from Daddy"... I honestly didn't know you could hear a heart break. I did my best to teach him some clear, memorable phrases that were dressed up as answers to his questions. Hoping that they'd be memorable enough at age 5 to just make him think when he was 15 and feeling lost and not knowing what to do. I hope everything worked out okay little man. I think about you, often and I always will.
#12
Being born in a brown family you'd think there's nothing to be racist about. I mean, we're already of colour who are we racist about? Well, you're wrong. Brown parents are racist of every other race. Black, Asian and even white people (yes, that's also racism as it is discrimination because of colour). So as children of brown parents we're also brought up thinking that any other race is bad, for whatever reason. (Not only colour but brown parents also discriminate because of religion, just wanted to add)
Anyways, in highschool I had a few friends who were a little darker in colour than the rest of us and my parents told me to stay away from them. But they were genuinely nicer than many other fake friends (it's highschool) so I liked hanging out with them. That's when I realized that it was a genuine wrong thinking and also that this will always be normal in my brown household so I chose to move to another country. I mean, there were many other reasons for me to get to this decision
Mohammad Ammar 4 years ago
This needs to be talked about. The global conversation on racism revolves almost entirely around poc in white western countries. This is partly why Asia is sooo racist. They don't see it as their problem. When the whole BLM thing was going on people here didn't even bother to reflect on their own actions. All I heard was " oh look at how racist those white people are". Colorism is huge here, religious intolerance is frightfully high and don't get me started on discrimination based on ethnicity and social class.
Kimi Tomminello 4 years ago (edited)
Raised by a Vietnamese mother, can confirm. To this day white people still get weirded out when I explain my mom is racist. I no longer have contact with her but it's still unreal to me how many people don't understand that "minorities" can be very racist.
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S. 4 years ago
Bangladeshi here, and I can back up OP's experience. Generally, some narrow minded people are discriminatory against, well, *almost* everything here: we're racist against black and white people, we don't care about the rest of Asians — not even Indians and Pakistanis, even though all three of us are desi / brown. If you're from any religion other than Islam, you'll be judged sadly. Women are still fighting for their rights, men who does anything feminine like wearing pink get mocked relentlessly, and I don't want to even mention the state of the LGBTQ+ community or the disabled here. I'm sorry for venting; I love my country a lot and I wholeheartedly believe that the majority of us are kind people, just misguided and narrow-minded, which I hope we'll be able to overcome. One reason why I'm glad I was allowed to access the internet at a young age is because interacting with people from different places has helped me to realise that these discriminatory thinkings are not OK.
Mimi La Souris 4 years ago
thank you for sharing this with us, little panda :)
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FABULOUS1 4 years ago (edited)
As a biracial woman I can say that most black people I have encountered hate biracial people. Its as if we need their permission to give us our black card or something. I have experienced more racism from white people but from black people the numbers are catching up. I had someone on social media say that we dont understand their struggles and therefore shouldnt consider ourselves knowing what inequality feels like.
deanna woods 4 years ago
That's total bs. You being biracial doesn't take away the fact that part of you is black. I am black and have absolutely no problems with biracial people.
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holly smethurst 4 years ago
So glad you point out that not only white people are racist. I see so much racism from black people on social media but if you point it out they come back with ‘we’re oppressed we can’t be racist’ we can’t culturally apporiate we’re black’ etc etc.
Rose Rosee 4 years ago
@Holly the reason why Black people can't be racist is because minorities have no real structural power. Meaning not bank owners, people in government etc. We can be prejudiced and a bigot. That's not to say as an individual can't have power over your life, but the structure of America is not based on Black/Brown people passing laws to hurt White people. As for culture, let's not go there.
Load More Replies... Sinkvenice 4 years ago
Not all brown parents are like this. I know that's obvious but it felt like it should be pointed out. Oh my goodness, some Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi people can be outrageous racists. Caste is still very much an issue in India; a very close friend of mine had her heartbroken recently because her boyfriend broke up with her after his parents told him she wasn't good enough for him due to her apparently lower caste. This was right in front of my friend! People like them can also be incredibly discriminatory towards people with darker coloured skin. This is apparently proof that these people have jobs working outside which is only what poor people do. The whiter your skin, the more likely you don't need to work, therefore the better you're treated.
Josy Bannon 4 years ago
I once lived with a very racist chinese girl, who wanted no immigrants in our home because "they are dirty". Also there is racism inbetween african countries/ enthnicities, the immigrants/refugees from more northern countries face racism in the south. There were lots of brutal attacks in 2008, 2015 and 2019.
Mimi La Souris 4 years ago
a french comedian speak about "the racist ladder" : north europe hates south europe, south europe hates north africa, north africa hates middle africa, and everybody hates chineses.
Cathy 4 years ago
And the French basically look down on anyone who isn't French or have an accent when they speak French (even when they are abroad and don't speak the local language). My experience attending French tourists in Spain.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
First of all, yes, racism and colourism exist. BUT, and it's a big but, do NOT assume that just because your family are prejudiced that every other brown skinned person is prejudiced. It is not true and it is harmful and dishonest to try to claim that your family represents the attitudes of all the other brown people in the world.
Stephanie Keith 4 years ago
There is a difference between racism and prejudice. People are thinking they are the same thing, when they are not. Just throwing that out there.
Microwaved Robot 4 years ago
I saw this, first hand, working for Asian Indians in the Hotel Industry. Not all, I know, but the ones that I dealt with were extremely racist against everyone who wasn't Indian. It was really bad. White Hotel Staff were treated as-I will be nice and say-Servants (not the other "S" word) and the Housekeepers were treated as if they were covered in the dirt they cleaned from the Guests who stayed with us. If they asked to use the telephone to call for a ride, Management would wipe the phone handset with alcohol wipes-after they were done using the telephone. Front Desk 'white' staff were treated slightly better, Front Desk of Color (not Asian Indian) were treated horribly by management until they quit. I have never been racist but it really opened my eyes and I while I understood what they had been subjected to, I never understood why they subjected others to their same treatment. They should have been bigger and better than that... and they were not.
#13
My parents were both closet racists (racist behind closed door/out of earshot) but we were taught other races couldn't be trusted as kids. I can remember my mum deliberately not inviting a Pakistani kid to a birthday party that sort of thing.
I was stereotypical angry white kid, around 15yo I started listening to Eminem that progressed into black artists I heard him duet with.
I genuinely give credit to rap music for making me realise my parents were wrong. Biggie, Snoop, Dre, Kanye and 50cent opened me up to a different path in life which ended me up with a Japanese partner so all's well that ends well.
LazyPanda 4 years ago (edited)
This is all great and well, but I personally don't think marrying out of your race is the ultimate "I made it out of racism" triumph. You get something in return out of marriage. These stories are much more touching (imo) without the triumphant marraige at the end. Show me you learned to love someone different from you with no promised exchange in return. I live in a community where people constantly hail mixed marraiges as the end to racism and I feel we are missing something there. Still happy they were freed from such hatred though! And through rap, I love it!
Carrie B 4 years ago
I think he's just saying that being racist limited his ability to connect with non white people and his marriage is proof that he no longer has those limitations.
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Aamna Shah 4 years ago
It's your parent's loss. Pakistani food is one of the most delicious in the world. They really missed out.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
I'm not sure that anyone's cultural education can begin or end with rap (please, lord, no). I'm not sure it's a good thing that anyone feels listening to rappers somehow cures racism. Worse still, having a Japanese partner really has nothing to do with it. The fact that someone has a friend/partner/relative of colour does absolutely 100 percent NOT mean that you aren't racist.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Only because I've read your other comments and agree with 99% of what you've written, I'll challenge you here. =) Think about how the public reaction and media coverage of rap started - especially in the 80s and 90s. Think about the racism inherent in "the news." Think about the racial tone policing of AAVE and other Black dialects. Think about the sex themes in rock, drug themes in indy, misogyny themes in country, etc. Think about how rap tends to get a bad name from the most provocative of its songs, but no other genre is held to the same standard. Rap gets bad name largely due to racism. I agree no one should end their cultural education with rap, but there's no problem starting there.
Load More Replies... #14
I started a construction job. Hispanics are some of the nicest, funniest people you’ll ever meet. The language barrier even adds to the hilarity. It was an eye opener that these guys are just trying to make a living and go home, just like me. Landing this job has changed my view on ALL races and I’m very happy it did. You can’t just HATE someone for their distance from the equator.
Jaclyn Levy 4 years ago
"You can't just hate someone for their distance from the equator." Boom. Nailed it.
Annamagelic 4 years ago
I like that last line, "You can't just HATE someone for their distance from the equator."
Randy Volz 4 years ago (edited)
I spent a majority of my adult life in service industry management. And I can tell you that the Hispanic men and women with whom I worked, worked harder than 90% of the Caucasians I ever hired during those years. And, no matter how menial, they took pride in a job well done.
Persephone 4 years ago
I have had the best experiences at a job with people of Hispanic heritage and additionally, Somalian heritage as well! The people who spread this hate, have been THE worst, most toxic people to work with.
#15
This isn’t a former racist thing, but I realized early on that color isn’t “only skin deep.” If you grew up in the late ‘80s and ‘90s this was a thing people said. Color is only skin deep. My friend cut his knee in gym class and it started bleeding. After they got it all cleaned up I saw that his skin color only went down like 1/16 of an inch. It’s only a couple layers of your skin. Under that he was as white as me. So yeah, that’s when I realized we’re all the same color under the first couple layers of skin. It isn’t skin-deep, it’s just the outer part of the skin.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
It's a very common white attitude to use whiteness as the default and compare everyone else to that whiteness. So this guy is white like you a few millimetres down, and that's what makes him ok? I know that's not what you mean, but that is actually what you said. It wouldn't matter if someone were black all the way through and had different coloured blood from me. Being like me is not what makes someone acceptable. Being human is what unites us.
Dina Simoné 4 years ago
I can accept that as a metaphor for something deeper, but If he means that literally then I cannot relate to this statement. We dont have to look or even be the same to be one human family.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
This is the same as many people who claim "not to see color." If you refuse to see color, you can't see racism. It doesn't make it go away. More importantly, your race is a part of you. It's okay to as proud of that as you are of your freckles, green eyes, or curly hair. As I once read from a Black author, "When you say you don't see color, I hear you don't see me."
Microwaved Robot 4 years ago
What bothers me is that 'white' people spend so much time in the sun or on tanning beds so that they can have darker skin while at the same time they have no consideration or love for persons of color. Humans are Human no matter what their skin color, religion or Country of Birth
Lady of the Mountains 4 years ago
It must have been a pretty deep cut to see white under there
#16
Sesame Street. I'm not even joking.
Was raised in a slightly racist household in a pretty racist state.
Seeing kids of all colors playing together made me wonder why my mom wouldn't let me play with certain people.
It kind of snowballed from there.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
Sesame Street has been pretty progressive through its history and ALWAYS put the social and cultural education of children at the top. Look at all those bigoted dickheads getting all pissed off at big bird, or about the muppet with same sex parents. They are teaching children about honest world and human values and they don't get swayed by politicians or angry interest groups. I applaud them for sticking to their guns for 50 years despite pushback by people with theirs heads up their asses.
David Butler 4 years ago
Australian here. I watched Sesame Street so much as a child, people are amazed by my "American" accent.
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King Kashue 4 years ago
Yeah, there's a reason why Mississippi tried to ban it. https://www.wlox.com/2021/11/10/b-is-banned-mississippis-historic-battle-with-sesame-street/
Luthor 4 years ago
Another Australian here. Sesame Street and Australian Play School were the only television shows I let my then toddler (now 25 year old) watch unattended. Why? Because I knew I could trust the message those shows sent, the premise on which they were created. Both shows came from a place of love and acceptance and a desire to actually help children. If we had Mister Rogers I would have embraced his show too, sadly he was not broadcast here in those days.
Persephone 4 years ago (edited)
Thank you, Jim Henson: you left us too soon, but taught important lessons to good people to continue spreading love and acceptance!
#17
I used to be pretty racist. I would say things like “I’m not racist, I just think black Americans have a culture problem”, or “I’m not racist but why don’t they listen to cops?” Just things like that. Like always making excuses for the oppressors but never allowing a single excuse for the oppressed.
What got me out of it was just working in retail and being exposed to other people and ideas. I learned to put people first. Put people above culture, put people above tradition, put people above current systems. If you do that, really learn to value human life, you will end up a progressive every single time
Na Schi 4 years ago (edited)
Funny that it was retail - though good. The one thing retail taught me was that pigs came in all shades and colors. There is no different in race: demanding arseholes (aka customers) with no manners can be found everywhere.
Sasha 4 years ago
Actually i worked retail in a a very busy winners. Obvs min wage mostly and almost all women, massive mix of all sorts of races/people. My coworkers were some of the most hardworking kind people ive ever met. We got a new cash manager at one point. Without realizing it (hindsight 20/20) i was really mean to him at first cause it didn't seem like he knew what he was doing. Looking back it was probably at least subconsciously also that he was a guy and muslim with a heavy accent, he would get breaks to go pray (its canada). He just kept smiling. Incredibly kind man, once i got over myself we were good friends. He always smiled, always said hi, always noticed if you were down and asked if everything was ok, sincerely. I learned he got basically like 4 hours sleep every night between working so hard and going to college. He asked me if he should go study English at a college program. I told him no. His English was actually amazing, perfect grammar, great word library. Just with an accent.
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Jaclyn Levy 4 years ago
This is so perfectly written! <3 Put people above everything else. Love that.
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
Omg yes retail for me too. Though this may not be as diverse in other areas. But retail taught me to get along with just about anybody - skin types, religion or lack thereof, various levels and different flavors of ability, various classes, genders- all so different, still good people. In short you can't usually judge someone by any one thing.
#18
I met, fell in love with, and married a black woman. I was extremely ignorant and did not believe there was a race problem in this country. Then again I grew up with an extremely comfortable privileged life. Then once I started getting the same looks and stares and comments from being with her, yeah trust me it’s a huge problem.
KatHat 4 years ago
I'm glad this person learned but the wording here is unfortunate. No, I don't need to "trust you" because you finally EXPERIENCED it so now believe it. I already believed Black people when they told me it was a huge problem. LISTEN to others' experiences.
H Edwards 4 years ago
I had a maddening conversation with an older member of my family the other day. He was trying to say that racism didn't exist when he was a child in the 50s and 60s (UK not US) and it's a new thing. His evidence? He had a Black best friend when he was ten and he didn't notice anyone treating him differently. I had to give up on the conversation, it was like banging my head against a brick wall. My family's latest thing is calling me the thought police when I refuse to engage with a certain topic. Fun times.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
As this man has realized, racism is not something that needs to be witnessed by white people in order to be valid. When people of colour tell you what they are experiencing, you need to believe it, whether you have experienced or witnessed it yourself or not. If you deny a black person's experience because it hasn't been your own experience, then you are perpetuating racism. That includes saying things like "I'm sure it wasn't that bad," and "yeah, well I've experienced prejudice too."
#19
My friend was an on again off again Trumper last year and kept posting about how "hero" Luke Skywalker and a few of us told him Luke literally had a school of jedi of all different races and backgrounds and sexes, you root for him as a fictional character but support the Emperor of real life and he got real quiet.
Olga Dremina 4 years ago
You could just ask your friend to check Mark Hamill himself Twitter account, where he called Trump Tangerine Palpatine))
AxleMunshine001 4 years ago
Yes, Palatine was an egomaniac autocrat, but at least he wasn't stupid. Trump on the other hand would have been Force choked by Vader for being a complete incompetent moron.
Load More Replies... Otter 4 years ago
There are a lot of hardcore Star Wars fans who don't understand a damn thing about what the Jedi stood for. They despise anyone who helps others, thinks of the common good, displays humility, or who fails to worship the Tangerine Papatine, they're in touch with the Dark Side.. yet they worship Luke. I think it's because he's the only adult male virgin in pop culture.
Leah Helbig 4 years ago
Ok and biden is not racist? What?! They are the same racist old white elite men who are pieces of s**t. Our society will never change and racism will continue until we get new leadership and it can't be with people like them needs to be common folk like us who are real as f**k
#20
Growing up I was told that all the woes of my state were caused by those ( ethnic slur)s. We would drive through the poor area of town and it would be pointed out to me that " they make everything worse. they are like cockroaches". Something about these claims just didn't sit right with me and when I was old enough to look things up online I realized everything I was told was truth was just regurgitated Fox News. The more I looked things up, the more lies I saw. Nobody would listen to me when I tried to show them. I think they know deep down, but racism is an easy scapegoat for the world's problems.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
The elite have always benefited by pitting their subordinates against each other. When the working class whites were at the bottom of the social echelons, it was a great opportunity for them to have another class of people at whom to direct their disdain and blame for their circumstances. Fact is, the only enemy of any of the people has always been the super rich elite, who have profited off the labour of all our backs, black, brown and white.
Persephone 4 years ago (edited)
P**n the issues off on a scapegoat, so you don't have to take responsibility for fixing them, or contributing to them; Gaslighting at its finest.
Jessica Bertram 4 years ago
i am going to need to see your sources for that, Dave. none of that sounds right.
Load More Replies... #21
My parents were/are racist. I grew up in a “Christian evangelical” household. Despite living in a diverse city (London) my parents would say the most disgusting things. And of course, I said the same things. I didn’t know any better - until I educated myself. Now I call out the racisms and homophobia - but it’s exhausting being the person who made mum cry again. My mum died a while ago, and although I do miss her and have fond memories of her - my overruling memories of her is when she was toxic and racist/homophobic. My dad is the same, but is less vocal about it.
My parents were the typical I am not racist I have black/Asian friends. I always used to say, what do you think your black/Asians friends would say if they heard what you said behind closed doors.
One time - I moved country. And I was really new to the country so didn’t speak the native language. My mum FaceTimed me and was complaining about how she is fed up of not hearing English in the streets and all these immigrants taking our jobs.. blah blah blah. I couldn’t believe she was saying that - to me, an immigrant who didn’t speak the language. Racists are just f**king stupid. There is zero logic in their way of thinking.
LazyPanda 4 years ago
I too am constantly baffled by this false religion called "Christian Evangelical"
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James Kistler 4 years ago
Hey God, glad to be here in heaven. Just one question, who is the middle eastern guy on your right? OH, SO YOU DON'T KNOW MY SON?
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Beautifully written, my friend XD. Also, Mary and Joseph are Middle Eastern as well, along with St. Peter, St. John the Baptist, etc. All the early saints were, pretty much.
Load More Replies... Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
They are right. There is no logic. 10,000 years ago, being weary of a different skin color may have been a defense mechanism or just human tribalism, but now, where all cultures are on full display and we all know we are just humans alike, there is no place for racism.
Charlie Taube 4 years ago
Filthy oil blooded bolt boxes will take our jobs!
Load More Replies... #22
Little nervous posting this, ngl. I served Marine infantry for four years and deployed to the middle east. I got out about 6 years ago and idk if racist is the right to describe me then, but its pretty close. I hated everyone from the middle east. Didn't matter religion, age, gender - I hated all of them. If they were born in the US, I had no feelings against them, which is why idk if its racism or "regionalism" or something. Maybe I'm trying to shift blame, but I feel like it was not all my fault. We were trained to not think of them as people, and seeing them in country wounding and killing my fellow Americans really had a way of warping my opinion.
I got out of it by growing up and experiencing diverse cultures in college. The world is a huge place. If I can go out of state to this university and meet people from other states, other countries...they are good people from places I've never heard of. It just makes sense that there must be good people in the middle east as well. It took a few years of softening up, but the hatred wore off. I look back and im at least a little disgusted with myself. I never acted out against someone or committed a hate crime. It simply wasn't fair of me to think the way I did. But tbh a lot of things aren't fair to a poor boy from the middle of a flyover state fighting in a war. I'm glad I changed. I'm not glad I was ever that hateful in the first place. Its not one of those "im glad I experienced it so I could grow" situations. It was just bad.
Mohammad Ammar 4 years ago
This is so scary. These were the people who were supposed to liberate the middle east and Afghanistan? Yikes.
Kevin Hickey 4 years ago
It was never about liberation. There are plenty of people in the world who need to be liberated, but they're not living on a large amount of natural resources.
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Lilly Swaim 4 years ago
I know several Vets with this mindset as well, they aren't racist in my mind, more like programed to identify the "enemy" Even years after returning to normal life, I'd see them tense up when we'd walk past a group of middle eastern looking people, they'd get all nervous and defensive if we had to walk down blind alleys or near homeless camps. It's very sad that these people are programed, but no deprogramming happens, they are just left to deal with this without the support they should get, add in PTSD and combat training, and I can understand why so many Vets join extremist groups, it's just like how they spent years of their lives just after they became adults. Very sad.
Stephanie Keith 4 years ago
It's programmed to be racist and hate. It's both! They are being taught to be this way and that's all there is to it. Denying it only allows for it to continue and more people to doubt what's really happening. People need to spread the word and what's really going on. That way everyone knows and can make a choice to not be apart of something like that.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
Government propaganda is real. In order to get ordinary young men and women to sign up to go to war, you have to convince them that there is an enemy that is a threat to them, their loved ones and their way of life. Young people are more susceptible to this kind of black and white thinking, which is why they form the vast majority of frontline military. Problem is, it tends to lump separate groups and peoples into a mass in a "them versus us" conglomerate. Then the war is over and you come home, and turns out nothing was what it was sold as, and ex-military are left trying to figure out how to exist in the real world, without all the propaganda.
Barbara Skolly 4 years ago
Many WWII Canadian vets carried a dislike and distrust of Germans and Italians for the rest of their lives
#23
I was a lower case r racist growing up. Not a cross burner or anything like that, but I had biases, I made tons of jokes and comments, and as shallow as this sounds I wouldn't even watch porn if it featured anyone of color.
what broke it for me was my early adult life. I worked s**t jobs and dealt with occasional homelessness. I ended up having to spend time with people of color. A lot of it.
It's hard to stay angry and bitter when you work with people for years, alone with them for hours at a time every night. You find common ground even if you try and fight it.
It starts with overhearing them talk about s**t you like too, smelling their dinner while they're on break and going "damn that smells delicious.", seeing s**t in the newspapers and hearing them express similar feelings.
No matter how much you try and dehumanize them, you just can't fight the eventual realization that they're just like you, with maybe a few quirky differences.
Jenny Pugh 4 years ago (edited)
"We have more in common than which divides us". Jo C o x, British MP who was murdered by a white supremist.
#24
Travelling. To actually experience the culture of other people is a brutal eye-opener.
Nicki 4 years ago
This is why every year (except for the last 2, for ummm...reasons 😊) I travel with my kids all around the world. I want my kids to know that there are some awesome places and cultures that extend beyond the US. I hope they chose to live abroad or at least want to travel the world. Next stop (hopefully), the Czech Republic!
#25
Echo chambers and lack of diversity. I grew up in the 90’s in an area with a tiny black population. The older people were racist, and the younger people just repeated what the older people said and didn’t have any experiences with black people that could have changed their minds. Not to mention it doesn’t help when the news blasted black crime all over the television every night to help fuel the divide.
I started thinking for myself and learned to judge people based on the person they are. I read books, and philosophies, and simply educated myself. I also started noticing that the white supremacists were always the least supreme looking of the white race. Trash breads trash.
Jaclyn Levy 4 years ago
Yep. I grew up in a similar time and looking back I realized the only time black people were featured on the news or TV in general were in mug shots.
Nicki 4 years ago
yup! I grew up watching the news and seeing only criminals or sports figures. I wanted to scream at the TV and say, "we are more than this!!!"
Load More Replies... James Kistler 4 years ago
How can they think they are superior when there is not a full set of teeth in their entire family tree?
Channon Doughty 4 years ago
I'm from the Appalachian South (VA), there are more racists with all their teeth, from the highest and lowest "social" classes, and every "class" in between, who are completely racist and have it all wrapped up in a neat little "biblical" bow. The toothless stereotype let's them all of the hook.
Load More Replies... Otter 4 years ago
One of my least favorite thing about the modern world is that social media allows everyone to create their own "echo chamber"! They link only to people who share their beliefs, and the bots direct them to news that reinforces whatever mindset they have. It's worse than living in a monoracial small town.
#26
Interacting with other races. Was racist against Mexican people because the first one I spoke to was a d**k. Loved black people cuz one of my best friends was black. Then I worked with the laziest slobbiest black guy, and the most honest hard-working Mexican dude. Then I remembered that a lot of white people were d**ks, and a lot of us were lazy. And then I met this Indian dude. He smelled. Awful. Every day he smelled terrible. I also am capable of smelling awful and I've been a d**k to people, and I've been lazy at some jobs. I'm a person, everyone else is also a person, really doesn't matter that colour they are or what they believe in. I'll disagree with some people and I'll agree with others. We're all people.
#27
I was raised in a close family setting and didn’t have many friends. Went to school but never really did anything. Made good grades. Dropped out 9th grade really went full on conservative and racist. I mean my whole family still is so it was just casual talk for us.
Then I went to college, met a lot of people, did a lot of finding myself. I knew I was a lesbian years ago when I was 18. But when I was in my late 20s early 30s I went to college and really found myself. Realized that’s not how I wanted to live. I was socialized with lots of people from lots of different backgrounds and lots of new perspectives. And found out that within myself I was an angry person due to my past traumas and didn’t like that part of me. And almost changed overnight. I don’t laugh at my families racist jokes anymore, I don’t hang out with them much unless they come to my house, I’ve moved past it and have grown up and matured.
I’m not perfect but I’m no longer a racist. And I no longer blindly say all cops are good. Husband and I argue quite a bit over that. He was a police dispatcher for 20 years. He sees the bad ones but says it’s only a few. And in recent years we’ve both realized it’s more than just a few.
PurpleDoople 4 years ago
You knew you were a lesbian but got a husband? Like are you bisexual? Did your label change? You need to give context
Kimi Tomminello 4 years ago
Not all marriages are based in passion or lust. I'm ace and tend to lean lesbian with romantic feelings but am married to a pansexual man. We love and need each other deeply without any sexual overtones and it works beautifully for both of us. 15 years and counting.
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Lilly Swaim 4 years ago
I'm confused, she dropped out of school in 9th grade but went to college by 18? Lesbian but with a husband? How did she find herself exactly?
Diana 4 years ago
I think she was just talking about knowing she was a lesbian since she was 18. She actually went to college in her late 20s.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
If the good ones cover for the bad ones, then the entire well is poisoned. Stand up for what's right and speak up when something's wrong.
#28
I realized that I didn’t dislike black people for being black...I disliked pretty much everyone regardless of color. Just lived in a s**tty area and everyone was s**tty. Left and everything got better.
#29
Leaving home. My mom is Japanese and raised me Japanese, racism and all. I left my house late 17y/o and now that I’ve lived on my own, I grew to be myself, and with that, grew up mentally.
LazyPanda 4 years ago
As stated by Mohammed before, I really appreciate all the shares that go beyond black and white. As a black person, I have unknowingly offended or harmed people of other cultures and gratefully had friends to expose things to me or resources available to make me aware. There are ways to be racist, prejudice, or ignorant in all directions unfortunately
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
So true, it's like everyone thinks racism is only a white thing. Asian background for me as well, and of all the things I am happy they passed on to me, I declined to inherit the racism culture part.
#30
I come from a non-practicing Christian background and grew up in a small town where everyone was white as well. Though I never personally experienced outwardly racist sentiments from my family, I did not personally meet someone with different skin color than mine until I was 19. That's 19 years of development and never personally interacting with someone of a visibly different race. There was 1 black family that moved to my town when I was about 11 and I found out years later they sadly had to move due to racism. I'm sure that was very isolating for them. Thanks to a weird, archaic, low-tech device called a 'television' I was exposed to African Americans by way of Family Matters, The Cosby Show, and 21 Jumpstreet. Carl Otis Winslow's outbursts cracked me up. I never much cared for Urkel and his antics, Carl was my 'average dad next-door' hero. Theo Huxtable was an early tv crush, and as I got a little older, I adored Judy Hoffs! She was the coolest cop chick on tv and wanted to hang out with her at that modified church headquarters. I still watch the show just for her character, and to recognize filming locations and scenic backdrops from Vancouver. Not to mention some of my favorite vocalists are Mixed Race/African American/Jamaican or from the Bahamas. Through the entertainment I consumed, I just accepted that there are people out there, vastly different than myself that I was always curious about them. I just always assumed people who weren't having vile racist poison poured down their gullets and had access to cable, movies, and MTV would experience different people the same way. It's nice to know there's hope for people to come out of that. I'd like to believe that racism, is one small jagged fragment of the human condition that has never taken hold in my mind and I hope it never does.
Jaclyn Levy 4 years ago
YES! Oh my gosh I loved those shows and looking back I'm so glad they were marketed as just shows and not "and now for our black family show!" It was just shown as normal TV. I loved Sister Sister, Cosby Family, Family Matters, Fresh Prince, The Proud family, even Single Living. So so good. Representation matters!
Lilly Swaim 4 years ago
Sister Sister! I didn't get along with my actual older sister. I always thought it'd be great if I could have Tia and Tamara as my sisters, we could be triplets, even though I'm obviously white as milk, they were my dream sisters
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#31
My grandma grew up in Virginia in the 1900s. Being racist is just the default setting. Nana loved her family more than anything, though. So at one point in the late 1980s, she met her first not-100%-white grandkid, and discovered she still loved him. She made astounding late life progress accepting that darker skin toned people were not only people, but family, friends and welcome in her house.
#32
I’m not nor have been racist but I heard this story from a similar post a little while ago, and wanted to share. A guy and his racist buddy are big sci-fi nerds (star trek Star Wars mass effect etc). Racist buddy says something along the lines of “man don’t you wish races and cultures could exist like this in real life”. Guy replies “you can’t even appreciate the races and culture that are on the earth today, and you think you’d treat them differently?” And apparently this causes racist buddy to reevaluate his entire perspective on life. I loved this story cause I always believed sci-fi and fantasy helps rationalize real world issues and makes people understand that we are more similar then different, and now I have at least one good piece of evidence.
Daria B 4 years ago
Wow, if you're a racist and "love" Star Trek.... you... completely missed the point of Star Trek. O.o
Leodavinci 4 years ago
Yep. Even if he hadn't expressly stated it, throughout the series it was clear that addressing racism was one of the main points Gene Roddenberry had for doing ST. The episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" made it glaringly obvious..
Load More Replies... #33
Started high school and had a crush to someone who said I'd be hotter if I wasn't racist. Kind of a s**tty reason but I'm glad it provoked me to question things
#34
Grew up in a small conservative town of 99% white people In the 70’s. when I went to college and met people of different backgrounds and spent time with them my views began changing. This is also when I starting realizing the Bible wasn’t factual. Took about another 20 years to become a liberal atheist but here I am and it’s very eye opening.
LazyPanda 4 years ago
Breaks my heart to see the sheer amounts of people being taught and believing that God (guns) and racism are synonymous. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28 This is what Christianity actually says. There's actually an extensive letter in the New Testament of Paul convincing a slave owner to free a slave based on Christ's teachings (Philemon)
#35
I was raised by racist parents and grandparents but I just grew up and formed my own ideas. Public school helped, most of my friends were Mexican as we lived in a mostly Mexican town growing up. It wasn’t a big realization or anything After I turned 9 I stopped believing in god, stopped being racist. By 12 I was interested in politics and left leaning while my parents are die hard republicans. I just formed my own ideas and didn’t let them brainwash me.
#36
My parents. When I was a kid, both of my parents were in grad school and extremely busy, so my paternal grandmother spent a lot of time taking care of me. Unbeknownst to my parents, she filled my head with racist stuff about how I shouldn't be friends with blacks or Latinos. Just stick to befriending the other Indian kids, though whites were acceptable too. One day, I said something about black people that caught my parents off guard (I don't remember what) but my parents asked me where I had learned that and I told them. They talked to her and she never really changed her ways. This ultimately led to my parents no longer letting my grandmother live with us or be around my siblings and I without their supervision, because they couldn't allow such a negative influence helping to raise us. My parents talked to me about why what my grandmother told me was wrong. It didn't take too much to get me back to being a normal, non-racist person because I genuinely liked many of the black and Latino kids in my class.
#37
My brown godfather found out [I was in a skinhead group]. He confronted me about it crying. Disassociated with those a**holes then and there (I was like 16) Had my american front tattoo covered up by a reddit alien recently.
#38
My parents are pretty racist and I just parroted whatever they said without really thinking. Then I went to a school that was 50% black. They were generally pretty loud and rowdy and one of them did not respect personal space but they weren't bad people like my parents told me and I realized they were full of s**t. I also saw that the school was practically segregated. All the white and Asian kids were in the school's special program which had its own fancy new building with fancy new smartboards and shiny new textbooks. The normal part of the school was pretty much all black and Hispanic, the teachers were apathetic, and there weren't enough textbooks for a class, and the textbooks that were available looked like a rabid dog on meth tore through them. That didn't sit right with me.
#39
Met black people, met asians. Realized they're just people and it took more energy to hate them irrationally than it did to just... Not. From there it was easy to not be racist against others.
#40
I wouldn't say I was super racist, but I was raised in a family that seriously looked down on blacks and it may have colored my views a bit. I just accepted they weren't as smart, made dumb financial decisions, more physical and more prone to being violent. Stuff like that. Then I found out the guy I was gaming with online for years was black. Super intelligent guy, PhD student, total weeb, and a damn good ADC to my support.
Rose Rosee 4 years ago
I will never get used to anyone thinking a person/people are dumb just based off their complexion. It makes no sense. And as for making stupid financial decisions, again makes zero sense. Being racist is a real mind f*ck.
#41
not me but - my grandad was a very racist white old man, who attempted to push his beliefs onto his children. my dad kind of followed suit, but when i ask him about it, he says he knows he’s “in the minority” and “that racism isn’t ok” so i really don’t understand where he stands - anyway - my uncle went on to have 3 children with his wife from zimbabwe, and my auntie had her daughter with a man from nigeria and 4 children with a man from kurdistan. my grandad has been a lot less racist since then.
#42
I come from a family of racists. They spoke of other (than whites) races using ethnic slurs as common as commenting on the weather. When I was about 5, my older brother and i went into the local bakery to pick up an order for our mom who was waiting in the car. A black boy was in front of us in line. This was something i hadn't often seen and i said very loudly to my brother, look it's a n-r! My brother quickly shushed me,which made me very confused, but it was the crushed look on the boy's face that made me start to question my family's viewpoint. Over 40 years later, I have a very diverse friend group, but still feel shame on how I made that boy feel those many years ago.
#43
It happened slowly over time, so slowly that I didn’t even notice it until it had consumed me. I went to a college that was > 50% POC, which was located within a poor, mostly Black neighborhood. I got along fine with POC students: we worked together, hung out together, partied together, etc. But as time went on, I developed prejudiced and racist attitudes towards the “locals,” as I referred to them. It originated with several instances of my close friends being brutally mugged / assaulted, enough to put them in the ER for several days. I became afraid and angry, and that anger eventually morphed into hatred. My moment of clarity came after my roommate was assaulted. I was recounting the story to a friend, and then he asked me, in a hateful tone, “were they Black?” to which I responded, in an equally hateful tone, “what do you think?” After those words came out of my mouth, I didn’t even recognize myself. I had always considered myself a progressive, and here I was talking like a racist. It didn’t take me long to realize the truth: I WAS a racist. I think that was the most insidious part of it: I had managed to convince myself that I wasn’t racist, despite the fact that I treated every POC who wasn’t a student like they were a threat, and despite the ugly ideas and prejudices that were forming in my head. I was blinded by my anger for my friends, and I could no longer see myself. I’ve done a lot of introspection and self education since then, and I’d be naive to say that I’ve completely purged myself of my biases, but I am in a much better place than I was.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Good. The Internet can be your friend in these matters. Educating yourself is wonderful, and very easy.
#44
I grew up in Utah County, UT. I am white, male, and Mormon. My father was from San Diego at a time when a lot of immigrants started to flock to California. He use to tell me the stories of the stupid black guys in the job corps, the Mexicans that were taking good jobs and the gays grooming young men in LA and turning them gay.
The fathers in Mormon families are the end all be all of the knowledge. How could I ever think differently? I had very racist and homophobic thoughts And POV up until 2007ish and changed my whole POV when the prop 8 issues came up.
No, I didn’t sit there and chant white power but I really did think that being a white male in Utah made me better than everyone else who wasn’t.
Seeing how s**tty the true belief’s of the Mormon church coupled with real empathy made me never want to be like my dad to his core.
It makes no sense to me when we are all human dealing with being human. I hate that I have an advantage because I was born white. I can’t change it but I can try and show anyone I come in contact with that it shouldn’t matter what color anyone is. I can’t change anyone but I can show people you can be different and just care about everyone.
Randolph Man 4 years ago (edited)
Mormons voting for Trump and Sen. Lee is all you need to know about their beliefs. The LDS church is a business conglomerate worth over 100 billion dollars. Go Google "Largest landowner in Florida". You won't get much done in Mormon land unless you pay your membership fee. Go look here how "diverse" they are: https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/leadership-and-organization/ "The God I believe in isn't short of cash...mister" - Bono.
Virtually Fabulous 4 years ago
This makes me sad... I am a mormon (though I don't agree with several of our beliefs such as the Family Proclamation, which is very homo- and transphobic). I don't like seeing all the hate my church gets, when the majority of the community and beliefs are positive and supportive. It is individuals like the father who cause problems, so please don't base your perspective of my church off a few shitty people and outdated beliefs that will hopefully be updated soon. I know my post doesn't exactly align with this story, but I just wanted to put my perspective out there.
M Rae 4 years ago
Utah went for Trump by a larger margin in 2020 than they did in 2016, they watched that Orange Abomination for 4 years and still went "yup, that's our guy". You're excuse is the same argument for cops, just a few bad apples. Nope the whole damn tree is rotten, your church is sitting on over 100 Billion, with a B! dollars and still wants it's 10%, even from a kids $5.00 allowance they want their cut. When my mother couldn't pay her tithe they assured her that that was ok, just leave them her 20 irrigated acres in her will and all would be well. Money grubbing power hungry woman hating racists is the vast majority of your church, I'm ex Mormon and I've seen it for 50 years.
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#45
I wasn't racist but my mum was. I had a middle-eastern friend and she realised she's not a terrorist and she realised that race doesn't make you a terrorist - being a terrorist does
#46
I’m from Ireland.. I used to think it was funny using words like ‘paki’ for anyone who wasn’t white. I moved to Australia at 25 and became friends with people from many cultures/ skin colours/ sexuality etc… I visited home a few years ago and was horrified by the way people talked. For me, the racism was just the way people talked, but also having no experience for people who weren’t white and from were most people in Ireland are used too
Luthor 4 years ago
Australia gets a bad wrap for racism. Rightly so, we have a history, the abuse of first nations people and the White Australia policy. But generally I find that we are a much more integrated culture. Are there loud racists and an inequality? Yes. But most people do not believe this to be right. The majority are not racist... just maybe not as proactive on the political front as we should be.
#47
Grew up in a small remote town. Racism runs rampant when everyone is the same and you rarely meet anyone who’s different than you and the 900 other people. Once I moved away I realized the culture of my town was the problem, not the other people. I also got a formal education which really helped. In Canada, our schools teach its students basically nothing about the atrocities committed against our indigenous people. This only increases the amount of racism.
angry_waffle 4 years ago
In my area, that has begun to change. About 3-4 years ago it became mandatory to learn about these atrocities.
Luthor 4 years ago
That has been happening in Australia for a decade or so now.. Any University degree has a requirement of one semester on Indigenous history and culture. More should be done but it a good start.
Load More Replies... #48
I was only ever online racist because I spent way too much time on 4chan during my impressionable years. Beyond being a joke I never really understood or fully believed it. One thing I have learned that made me understand race wasn't the issue is that there's stupid people in every walk of life and the biased opinions of racists are cherry picking to fit their world views.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
There are stupid people wherever you walk, and extremists in every religion. Hating all for the actions of few is pointless.
#49
Fear. I grew up in a rural town, my dad was a racist and surprisingly I wasn’t yet. I of course had my bias towards everyone but I hated how my dad spoke of so called…well you know the word. Then I had an experience that would take me about 9 years to reverse the consequences. I was a really introverted kid so I didn’t really talk in school, however in social studies one day I was walking along the back wall of the class during a project and awkwardly walked past a black classmate. I smiled to be friendly and the response was him football smashing me into the concrete wall and kicking me while saying racial slurs. I still remember him walking away laughing “f**kin’ white boy” Yeah so after that I just despised black people and had a distrust of everyone not white; from age 11 to 21. It wasn’t until I discovered my love for philosophy and fell in love with a Muslim woman that is the best person I know that I changed. We’re not together just friends though due to religious restrictions; which is more than fine. Philosophy taught me “We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.”
Leodavinci 4 years ago
"Religious restrictions" are not more than fine. They are part and parcel of the same problem. And that last paragraph is not "philosophy", it is "a" philosophy... and not one I share, except for the "to obstruct each other is unnatural" part and only that part. We are not cogs of a greater whole. We are complete unto ourselves. Society/culture are merely collective aggregations of us and our individual activities. Neither is an entity deserving of the sacrifice of any individual for the so-called "greater good".
Sylvanticx 4 years ago
As a religious Jew who will abide by tradition and not marry a goy, it is someone's personal decision as to whether or not they choose love over faith. It's not that we think that we're better for dating within our tradition, it's because we love our faith and want our children to be brought up in that faith. We want people who have the shared experience of being part of our religion. It's someone's decision whether or not they want to marry outside of their religion, it's a matter of personal choice, and no one should be shamed for abiding by religious restrictions.
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#50
Wasn't racist, just ignorant.
Small town of only white folk, every town over same thing. The only things I knew about other cultures and races was from movies (life before the internet).
Turns out movies grossly exaggerate things. Not all black guys are in gangs. Not all Indian guys run convenience stores. Not all Asians are matheletes. But you would never know otherwise. When I first moved to a city and meet diversity, I definitely embarrassed myself a few times and admittedly, was cautious around certain minorities for no reason.
Now I love exploring different cultures. Their food and customs and all that jazz is neat and some of my good friend are all sorts of nationalities.
#51
Ooh i can finally answer one of these in a serious way. So I was raised in the bible belt by a super far-right dad. My mom and sister were pretty normal but growing up I hated Obama and I was on the email list for a couple of groups that were extremely pro-second amendment and far-right. This seemed normal to me and all throughout high school, i acted like a jack a** to people in my school who weren't white or supported a liberal agenda. Eventually, I went off to college.. took a year off.. and moved back in with my dad while I saved up money to hike the Pacific Crest Trail on the west coast. During that year that I took off, I interacted with so many minorities and liberals and people who I would have hated in high school. But after living a ‘hippy’ lifestyle for 2 months while hiking the PCT and even living at an “Eco-Feminist-Hostel” in Hawai’i for 2 months I became a lot more chill. Now I'm no longer racist and I'm a lot less likely to judge someone for their beliefs no matter what they are.
#52
Fellow native Kansan here. While my town was bigger this is exactly how it was for me too. I moved and my exposure widened. Then I got a job working with a girl from inner city Chicago. Her life was like a movie that I couldn’t even imaging having to endure but she and I had personalities and values so similar that we quickly became best work friends. I learned a lot from her and most of it came down to shut up and listen. It’s such a simple lesson but people are people are people and it dawned on me that everyone I grew up with was wrong. This last summer was eye opening to me because I finally understood it’s not my place to do anything g but listen. The white people pushing back and nay saying on the American black experience are wrong and I finally get it. I would argue most mildly racist people don’t know what they are doing.
Lilly Swaim 4 years ago
Listening and understanding is a cornerstone of being a good person, just goes to show that racists are not good people on the inside
#53
I was one of a few white kids in a largely Hispanic community and school. I got mistreated pretty badly, as did the other white kids. It was enough to change my opinion of Mexican people. fast forward to real life: I work in a restaurant now and my Mexican coworkers are the hardest working, genuinely kindest people I have met and never once have an ounce of complaint even when we're all tired and overworked. the dishwasher does extra stuff for me when he doesn't have to simply because he's a kind person and he knows I'm busy. the Mexican cooks are more likely to make food for everyone around lunch time, f**king delicious food. I have so much appreciation for the culture and mentality of Mexican people now that I couldn't find when I was younger due to mean and immature children that bullied me for being different.
#56
I was raised to not be racist. I didn't even recognize being white as a child, I told people I was peach colored. I had bestfriends who were black, Spanish, middle eastern. Then I went into a group home. My friend was jumped for being white, I was made fun of, I got hit a lot, was told I was a no good whitey, got yelled at walking down the street, called snow bunny, got called honkey, hady food stolen for being white, was told I could never understand hard times. And for a long time it made me bitter and judgemental. Now that I'm out of those situations I don't generalize anymore and I'm back to my old self.
#57
Spent a month as a minority. It's pretty disconcerting to have everyone turn to look at you everywhere you go. I spent a month in an Asian country. I didn't see another white person for a week. Even though there was no animosity, it was just tough being "the strange looking person" day after day
#58
I moved from the backwoods of upstate Pennsylvania to South Florida. I didn't meet someone other than a white person until I was about 18. Moving away from a sheltered place changed everything.
#59
Just grew up. was a bit of an angry lonely kid found the the right wing on the Internet and as a teenager they gave me someone to blame for all my problems and something to be apart of fast forwards to the present day I've got some real world experience and I've done a total one eighty I'm basically a border line socialist I've interacted with people of different races and backgrounds and have realised people of different races and backgrounds aren't the enemy and that we are compatible
#60
It’s kind of hard to articulate but I’ll try. I grew up and still live in the Bible Belt in a predominantly white area. I grew up being taught that the KKK was evil but also hearing racist jokes every now and then and the people around me laughed so I thought they were funny too and would even pass them on. It didn’t happen overnight but there was this slow realization that these jokes are not funny and it’s NOT ok to have a feeling of superiority over someone because of skin color or cultural differences. The middle aged white people in this area are so ignorant of how they sound. The same people that tell racist jokes would be butthurt if they would be called racist. Someone that I know fairly well was trying to be super PC and she called black people “the coloreds” because she thought that was better then just saying black. It was so cringey.
#61
I was extremely racist in 6th and 7th grade. I had a strong hatred for East Asians, African American, and Caucasian people for no good reason. My parents also didn't express any form of racism, which just makes my actions even more ridiculous. I would constantly harass this East Asian girl, making fun of her appearance and telling her that she ate dog. I would also refer to Caucasians as "crackers" and would make slavery jokes in front of the African American kids. So yeah, I was a pretty terrible person. I changed after two events occurred. The first was when I got into a race war with an African American girl. I made a really racist joke about dark chocolate, which led to her telling me off. She didn't mention my past history, which led to the principal letting me off the hook. Later that day, we had a liturgy (I went to a Catholic school), and my crush was there. An African-American kid was trying to be nice and let me sit next to her, but instead I pushed him over and told him to get hanged. Eventually, my crush and a teacher overheard my remark, which led to me being taken out of the liturgy and sent to the office. I was later given a detention for my remarks, and that detention became Saturday school when the girl told the teachers of my past behavior. A few months later, I was still unchanged. I just stopped teasing the African-American kids. One day, I went to the East Asian girl and made a joke about her belonging in a sweatshop. Clearly annoyed, she told me off. I was immediately suspended, and my parents decided to take me to a behavioral counselor for my actions. After this incident, I reformed myself. I apologized to everyone I had harassed for the past two years, and stopped my racist behavior. I left the school one year later, as I wanted to leave the past behind. I learned to accept everyone of all colors, and no one should be treated poorly because of the color of their skin.
LazyPanda 4 years ago (edited)
I would really like to hear more about what this transformation process was. It's kind of tacked on at the end with a lot of the bad parts described. Is it bad that I don't believe them? Something's off. Racist in only 6th and 7th grade, for one, is...interesting. This person maybe adjusted their behavior but I can't be sure about the ideologies
Lilly Swaim 4 years ago
A school actually DID something about this kind of behavior? And it was a Catholic school? WOW that is shocking!
#62
Grew up without much exposure to those from other cultures and inherited some biases from my parents/family. I fixed it by going to college in another state where I was surrounded by a much more diverse set of people and being open-minded.
#64
I grew up in Utah. I didn’t see or meet a black person until I was 10 yrs old. We had Mexicans and native Americans, mostly Navajo around us. There was plenty of racism towards them. We had a neighbor whose office was adorned with all kind of KKK posters and paraphernalia. The hate that was spewed on those posters scared the s**t out of me. Though I liked to joke about other races, I couldn’t understand such hate.
#65
Not a former racist,friend was. He hated everyone different to him. He had an accident which damaged his spine. He had to learn to walk again. It took two years. He married his nurse after his treatment ended. I was his best man at his wedding. They have three lovely children. Godfather to the oldest. His wonderful wife is dark skinned
#66
I saw Home Alone. After that I loved white people.
#67
One on one time with white people. I had bad experiences with white peers when I was a kid. I was always left out and felt ostracized. As an adult, I still feel that way sometimes. It helps to have one on one time with acquaintances and friends who are white. You get a better sense of their inner monologue. By finding common ground, you make better assumptions about them even in their absence.
#68
I had low self esteem, and no friends. The skinheads at my school were nice to me, and treated me as one of their own. I adopted their beliefs as sense of belonging. Well, actually I was never racist, never. I would however go along with it, because I liked them, they were my friends and I did not want to lose them. Eventually my self esteem improved enough that I no longer felt a need to conform to a group I disagreed with, just to have friends. Ironically it was having these skinhead friends that built up my confidence. On the plus side when I finally left the group, most of them had abandoned their racism, as if it was just a passing fad.
LazyPanda 4 years ago
Stories like this concern me. If you were willing to participate, you were racist. Racism is a lifestyle, not a cloak you put on and off.
Luthor 4 years ago (edited)
That is a really simplistic attitude. People will do all sorts of things to belong, to find a friend. It can be as simple as saying you like Pokemon when you don't or as extreme as not saying anything when your core group behaves in a racist manner. A sense of belonging does not mean acceptance and I think this persons story shows exactly that. Racism is not always a "lifestyle".. often it's a moment in time in order to belong to something, anything. It happens all over. Not every person who has displayed or accepted racist behaviour is a lifelong bigot and to claim otherwise is an insult. You know what? You can pull off that cloak of racism... just take off the jacket.
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Buren 4 years ago
Exposure and widen your experience are the keys. The world is out there, one shouldn't be determined by colors, cultures, races or religions. There are bad and good people with every face.
Daria B 4 years ago (edited)
This is very true. Sadly, however, my experiences have made me more alert towards those African men who approach me, because, so far, most of them just tried it with me in a selfish, unpleasant way. Not been assaulted, which is a good thing (not that I fear that, just stating this as a little piece of info for anyone reading this comment who might have a dramatically wide imagination). I had no problems with African looking Americans, though, the USA people, they were nice. Still, I don't immediately jump to assumptions, but my awkward self might get the best of me sometimes and I can look as a racist. I find it embarrassing, but what can I do? Can't adapt to everyone and in every situation. (For context, I am Mediterranean European in Korea, and these encounters happened all in Korea, my second home my whole adult life.)
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Summer Mason 4 years ago (edited)
So my husband.....grew up with an extremely racist/homophobic father. Its taught on that side. His great grandfather was a dragon in the kkk. When he grew up he was attacked in downtown knoxville for being white on the black side of town (by three large black men, I'm talking about my husband) when another big black guy ran and helped him fend off the attackers. He then apologized to my husband for their actions and they became close friends. Soon after my husband meet a gay guy through his ex wife. They became best friends. Recently our middle son came out bi. We are totally cool with it. My dad had a simular experience. But when he got into the military he became best friends with a gay black soldier. Who is like an uncle to me. He protected his secret in the military so he was not discharged. My dad raised me totally different than he was raised because he realized all of his idealism was horrible wrong growing up.
Mari 4 years ago
Rascism is mostly fear, once you get to know the people, this fear will disappear. Good for your husband and dad!
Load More Replies... snipergun 4 years ago
So, plenty posts here and I see no single one about Netherlands. Literally most mixed culture probably on this world and they're racist as hell. Won't be active most of the time, but the jokes, thinking of other races (not so much religion I noticed they seem to be pretty ok with different beliefs) its unbelievable. And if you happen to be dutch of different race they'll easy do it in front of you about "others" and tell you not to be offended because that's not about you, that's about those "others". I'm whiter than 70% dutch people but I happen to be foreigner and it's unavoidable and ridiculous. And wait till you hear their opinion about slavery... Anyway, it is a problem. Everywhere.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Yeah, I kinda avoid the Netherlands after my one and only visit so far. Lovely country until they see me (dark-eyed) also dark-tanned. I'm that "otehr". Ummm.... Wow. And, oh, yeah, they apologized to Africa, so slavery's all fixed. That was another thing I heard. As they told me, a US citizen, how racist my nation is. I'd sooner hang out with my UK in-laws, who are at least non-hypocritical about being racist sh*ts.
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Jo Choto 4 years ago
If you are white, the chances are that you have absorbed some aspects of racism just by being alive in the world. I would urge everyone, regardless of your background, to learn more about implicit bias (there are tests you can take online). Even those who are champions for equality will have areas of ignorance of bias, without realizing it. Read about racism. Read about white privilege. Listen to first hand accounts of people of colour. The truth is out there, waiting for everyone to find it.
Eiram 4 years ago
Actually, white has nothing to do with it. Being alive and human means you will be in contact with it.
Load More Replies... Sinkvenice 4 years ago
I grew up in a small town and was one of only three "non-white" kids at school. I'm mixed race, my dad is white, my mum is West Indian and I look really ethnically ambiguous, people who have tried to guess have said pretty much every country on the globe. I got a lot of racist abuse, all three of us kids did. There was a Chinese girl who's family ran the local Chinese takeaway and there was an Indian girl who's family ran the local Indian takeaway. My dad was a doctor and my mum was a nurse, I got abuse for that too as apparently my parents, especially my mum, shouldn't be successful. It was bizarre. It never put me off white people and I did have a circle of friends consisting of musicians and artists. That was great, if I didn't have them I don't know how I may have felt.
Summer Mason 4 years ago
I'm so sorry that you where treated that way. I hate to constantly apologize for us white people being ignorant as fk sometimes, hopefully you find peace now days being you.
Load More Replies... Natalie Kudryashova 4 years ago (edited)
Great variety of stories, but I do think the title is over-optimistic. Racism is not just something you switch out of completely in a moment of enlightenment to become an ex-racist. Prejudices are deeply entrenched and internalised to the point of becoming unconscious biases that you can. Art and exercise despite your best intentions. The work to unlearn them is an ongoing need rather than a handful of encounters that helped you see the light
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Very true. It's a lifelong process, and everyone makes mistakes. I remember a time I was trying so very hard not to be racist. A kid in my class wanted to wear a racist Native American costume for Halloween so I dove into the entire history of genocide and how that wasn't cool -- in front of my Native friend who was understandably pissed that I just casually brought up genocide. My intentions were good, but I was definitely still ignorant and hurt her. Learning not to be racist is a lifelong process.
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buttonpusher 4 years ago
Few years ago neighbours moved in. A couple from Ghana and their young kids same age as ours. Eventually our kids were at the age where they wanted to play together outside and part of me was kinda worried one of mine would say something innocent but might be taken as inappropriate as our area is mostly white. Nope, all got along great. Lovely kids too. And my kids did eventually ask me about the skin colour difference and once I explained it was "ok" and that was that.
Tres D 4 years ago
As a white kid in a 95% all black high school I can tell you how it is to be the victim of severe racism. DO NOT TELL ME BLACK PEOPLE CANT BE RACIST!!!!
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Being isolated due to one's race (or perceived race) *sucks*. That said, racism is not just about whites vs blacks or blacks vs whites. Within some cultures, the *shade* of one's brown-to-dark-brown skin is an issue. TLDR: Sucks to be the one treated as The Other. Don't do it to people. Especially if you know how it feels.
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purple zebra 4 years ago
I am fortunate to say that I grew up oblivious to racism. I grew up in NYC with friends and neighbors from all races, cultures, religions, etc. which was delightful.Never once did I feel someone treat me differently because of my skin tone nor did I know that treating someone differently because of skin tone was still a thing. It was something that we learned about in history class and in books but didn’t experience first hand. It wasn’t until I was an adult and moved to other states, first PA and then NC that knew what that was like. It was disheartening and made me sad that Southern kindness was only a stereotype I had read about in books. It has made me more hesitant to put myself out there and make more friends because you never know what a stranger’s experience has been like and how they might perceive you before you’ve even managed to get a word out. I wish all children could grow up in the bubble I did. The beautiful melting pot bubble that was my childhood.
Buren 4 years ago
Exposure and widen your experience are the keys. The world is out there, one shouldn't be determined by colors, cultures, races or religions. There are bad and good people with every face.
Daria B 4 years ago (edited)
This is very true. Sadly, however, my experiences have made me more alert towards those African men who approach me, because, so far, most of them just tried it with me in a selfish, unpleasant way. Not been assaulted, which is a good thing (not that I fear that, just stating this as a little piece of info for anyone reading this comment who might have a dramatically wide imagination). I had no problems with African looking Americans, though, the USA people, they were nice. Still, I don't immediately jump to assumptions, but my awkward self might get the best of me sometimes and I can look as a racist. I find it embarrassing, but what can I do? Can't adapt to everyone and in every situation. (For context, I am Mediterranean European in Korea, and these encounters happened all in Korea, my second home my whole adult life.)
Load More Replies... Summer Mason 4 years ago (edited)
So my husband.....grew up with an extremely racist/homophobic father. Its taught on that side. His great grandfather was a dragon in the kkk. When he grew up he was attacked in downtown knoxville for being white on the black side of town (by three large black men, I'm talking about my husband) when another big black guy ran and helped him fend off the attackers. He then apologized to my husband for their actions and they became close friends. Soon after my husband meet a gay guy through his ex wife. They became best friends. Recently our middle son came out bi. We are totally cool with it. My dad had a simular experience. But when he got into the military he became best friends with a gay black soldier. Who is like an uncle to me. He protected his secret in the military so he was not discharged. My dad raised me totally different than he was raised because he realized all of his idealism was horrible wrong growing up.
Mari 4 years ago
Rascism is mostly fear, once you get to know the people, this fear will disappear. Good for your husband and dad!
Load More Replies... snipergun 4 years ago
So, plenty posts here and I see no single one about Netherlands. Literally most mixed culture probably on this world and they're racist as hell. Won't be active most of the time, but the jokes, thinking of other races (not so much religion I noticed they seem to be pretty ok with different beliefs) its unbelievable. And if you happen to be dutch of different race they'll easy do it in front of you about "others" and tell you not to be offended because that's not about you, that's about those "others". I'm whiter than 70% dutch people but I happen to be foreigner and it's unavoidable and ridiculous. And wait till you hear their opinion about slavery... Anyway, it is a problem. Everywhere.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Yeah, I kinda avoid the Netherlands after my one and only visit so far. Lovely country until they see me (dark-eyed) also dark-tanned. I'm that "otehr". Ummm.... Wow. And, oh, yeah, they apologized to Africa, so slavery's all fixed. That was another thing I heard. As they told me, a US citizen, how racist my nation is. I'd sooner hang out with my UK in-laws, who are at least non-hypocritical about being racist sh*ts.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
If you are white, the chances are that you have absorbed some aspects of racism just by being alive in the world. I would urge everyone, regardless of your background, to learn more about implicit bias (there are tests you can take online). Even those who are champions for equality will have areas of ignorance of bias, without realizing it. Read about racism. Read about white privilege. Listen to first hand accounts of people of colour. The truth is out there, waiting for everyone to find it.
Eiram 4 years ago
Actually, white has nothing to do with it. Being alive and human means you will be in contact with it.
Load More Replies... Sinkvenice 4 years ago
I grew up in a small town and was one of only three "non-white" kids at school. I'm mixed race, my dad is white, my mum is West Indian and I look really ethnically ambiguous, people who have tried to guess have said pretty much every country on the globe. I got a lot of racist abuse, all three of us kids did. There was a Chinese girl who's family ran the local Chinese takeaway and there was an Indian girl who's family ran the local Indian takeaway. My dad was a doctor and my mum was a nurse, I got abuse for that too as apparently my parents, especially my mum, shouldn't be successful. It was bizarre. It never put me off white people and I did have a circle of friends consisting of musicians and artists. That was great, if I didn't have them I don't know how I may have felt.
Summer Mason 4 years ago
I'm so sorry that you where treated that way. I hate to constantly apologize for us white people being ignorant as fk sometimes, hopefully you find peace now days being you.
Load More Replies... Natalie Kudryashova 4 years ago (edited)
Great variety of stories, but I do think the title is over-optimistic. Racism is not just something you switch out of completely in a moment of enlightenment to become an ex-racist. Prejudices are deeply entrenched and internalised to the point of becoming unconscious biases that you can. Art and exercise despite your best intentions. The work to unlearn them is an ongoing need rather than a handful of encounters that helped you see the light
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Very true. It's a lifelong process, and everyone makes mistakes. I remember a time I was trying so very hard not to be racist. A kid in my class wanted to wear a racist Native American costume for Halloween so I dove into the entire history of genocide and how that wasn't cool -- in front of my Native friend who was understandably pissed that I just casually brought up genocide. My intentions were good, but I was definitely still ignorant and hurt her. Learning not to be racist is a lifelong process.
Load More Replies... buttonpusher 4 years ago
Few years ago neighbours moved in. A couple from Ghana and their young kids same age as ours. Eventually our kids were at the age where they wanted to play together outside and part of me was kinda worried one of mine would say something innocent but might be taken as inappropriate as our area is mostly white. Nope, all got along great. Lovely kids too. And my kids did eventually ask me about the skin colour difference and once I explained it was "ok" and that was that.
Tres D 4 years ago
As a white kid in a 95% all black high school I can tell you how it is to be the victim of severe racism. DO NOT TELL ME BLACK PEOPLE CANT BE RACIST!!!!
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Being isolated due to one's race (or perceived race) *sucks*. That said, racism is not just about whites vs blacks or blacks vs whites. Within some cultures, the *shade* of one's brown-to-dark-brown skin is an issue. TLDR: Sucks to be the one treated as The Other. Don't do it to people. Especially if you know how it feels.
Load More Replies... purple zebra 4 years ago
I am fortunate to say that I grew up oblivious to racism. I grew up in NYC with friends and neighbors from all races, cultures, religions, etc. which was delightful.Never once did I feel someone treat me differently because of my skin tone nor did I know that treating someone differently because of skin tone was still a thing. It was something that we learned about in history class and in books but didn’t experience first hand. It wasn’t until I was an adult and moved to other states, first PA and then NC that knew what that was like. It was disheartening and made me sad that Southern kindness was only a stereotype I had read about in books. It has made me more hesitant to put myself out there and make more friends because you never know what a stranger’s experience has been like and how they might perceive you before you’ve even managed to get a word out. I wish all children could grow up in the bubble I did. The beautiful melting pot bubble that was my childhood.
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