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“My Husband Asked For A Divorce”: 42 Valentines Days That Did Not Go According To Plan
February 14th is this week, and that means social media is filling up with pictures of “perfect” couples, telling us what true love really looks like. And of course, some of those darlings are genuinely happy to be together and simply want to show off their charming partner. There’s nothing wrong with that.
However, what’s often forgotten during this time of year is that both casual dates and serious relationships come with disappointment, too. So to reassure you that the most appropriate expectations for Valentine’s Day may be none at all, we compiled a collection of the worst experiences people have had while celebrating this special occasion. One has to wonder: what did they do to end up on Cupid’s naughty list?
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#1
My then-husband spent days and days obsessing over a care package to send to our (female) friend while she was studying overseas. Thoughtful!
Then, he didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day. At all. And he was working at a FLORIST at the time!
I got mad and said I would have appreciated at least a gesture. He yelled, "I'll give you a gesture!" and raised both middle digits and stormed out.
Did I mention he was working at a FLORIST? When he got to work the next day, everyone was appalled and told him how badly he had screwed up. He showed up at my office the next day with a gigantic bouquet.
I was not overly impressed. He didn't need any help coming up with a thoughtful gift for our overseas friend that he obviously had a crush on.
this is pretty mild compared to all these other stories! But I never looked at him the same after that, and we split up a few months later.
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#2
I was with a girl who was absolutely in love with me, talking about marriage, pets, kids, etc. On our 3rd Vday, at dinner I looked at her and it hit me: I realized I had lost any feelings I had for her. Nice girl, cute, treated me great, would've made a fantastic wife...I just lost those feelings. Sucks to know it's not your fault the way you feel, but to realize this poor soul is going to be crushed. It's been 5 years and I still feel horrible about that.
Samantha H 16 hours ago
It was better that you found that about your feelings before getting Married and having Children. Feelings change.
Funnily enough, we're releasing this publication on what's known as Red Tuesday — the most common 24-hour period for breakups, according to experts, who say the looming holiday prompts people to reassess their romantic relationships.
“Break-ups happen because people don't want to fake their feelings on Valentine’s Day,” relationship expert Jessica Leoni said, expanding on a survey which found that 36 percent of people have broken up with their partner in the week leading up to Valentine's Day at some point in their lives, and that of those, 66 per cent decided to call it quits precisely on Red Tuesday.
#3
Guy I was dating at the time asked me to be his valentine and invited me for a date on Valentine’s Day - I said yes, he said “let’s get each other a gift!” Nothing expensive but I think it would be fun.” I said “ok I’m in!” I showed up with a heart shaped box of chocolates - he showed up with nothing. He laughed at me when I gave him the chocolates!!! And then he says “thanks for dressing up for me…” sarcastically. I was wearing cute jeans and a t shirt that fit really well (I looked good, I always like to look nice) meanwhile he was wearing a dirty sweatsuit that he worked in (personal trainer) with visible sweat stains and had not showered.
He then went on to say I bought “cheap” drugstore chocolates. At least I brought you a present! The gifts weren’t even my idea! I felt like such a dummy giving this guy a heart shaped box of candy, fully expecting to get something cheesy back like a rose or a teddy bear. Other people in the restaurant very clearly clocked what was going on - I got several looks of sympathy/pity from neighboring tables. I didn’t even know if I liked him yet - it was our third date!!! The freaking presents were his idea and I ended up looking like I was obsessed with him.
Before we ordered drinks I explained to him why what he did was bad and that if he likes a girl he should definitely never do it again. “Generally it’s considered rude for a person to suggest a gift exchange and then not actually bring a gift - makes the other person feel like a jerk and reveals the suggester to BE a jerk.” I also suggested he take a shower and wear some real clothes on his next date.
“You don’t see anything wrong with negging me for “not dressing up” while you showed up in nasty workout gear? my outfit is casual, but we are at a casual restaurant and I’m clean and I look nice. You aren’t even clean - I can smell you from across the table.” Good hygiene is kind of the bare minimum requirement as far as appearance goes in dating. He couldn’t even do that. got up told him to keep the chocolates and I left. Learned my lesson lol. He looked totally shocked that I was leaving and acted like I was a “dramatic” crazy lady. Since then I only get someone a gift when asked for secret Santa!! Otherwise, if you want to give me a gift, go ahead! If I want to give you someone a gift - I will make that decision on my own. Never again!!! I hope he ate the chocolates and cried and got a cavity.
#4
Probably not the worst, but definitely the most memorable:
I had newly started dating a co worker and while I was working on V Day, he had the day off. During my shift, I helped a hot guy who was a firefighter and we had a really lovely interaction. A few hours later, I got called to the front desk where a dozen red roses were waiting for me with no card. I just figured it was from my bf and when I got home, I called to thank him. He said, "What roses?" and there was immediately an awkward silence and an even more awkward conversation. Of course it turned out to be from the firefighter and looking back, I'm sorry I ended up turning him down.
The most common reason — cited by 31 percent of survey participants — was wanting to avoid the pressure and expectations that come with the holiday.
Meanwhile, nearly a third (27 percent) admitted they didn’t want to deal with the guilt of faking affection on the most romantic day of the year.
#5
A college boyfriend picked me up on Valentine’s Day, drove us to the local Waffle House, and proceeded to break up with me over dinner and then run out leaving me with the check. He made enough of a scene that another customer felt bad and paid for the meal.
#6
A guy asked me out on Valentine's Day with some flowers and chocolate in hand near the end of our highschool year. I had never received a romantic gift before, so at the time I awkwardly accepted his gift with a "thank you so much." He then got upset that I apparently did not immediately want to jump into his arms. I unfortunately forgave his attitude, thinking that maybe he just needed a chance and maybe it was my fault for not reacting with more joy that he bought me flowers and chocolates.
He ended up being a terrible boyfriend, and he absolutely loved to bring up that he got me flowers and chocolates on Valentine's Day, even though he never got me anymore gifts after we started dating. Anytime I made him mad or if we argued, he would hold it over my head about the flowers and chocolates he got for me *once* in our relationship, every single time.
I now hate receiving flowers from men and am happy to never get gifts from them ever again if that means they can't hold it against my head like a gun.
Huddo's sister 14 hours ago
I have never been interested in Valentines day, but I had one interaction similar to the first part of this story. I was about 16 and our school swimming carnival happened to fall on Valentines Day, so that was the theme (some people dressed up). Right at the start I had a guy, who I don't think I had ever talked to before, come up to me and give me flowers and chocolates. I was very embarrassed but I said thank you and he walked away. He didn't talk to me again at all that day, which I was fine with because it would have just been awkward. He did end up talking to me a few times, including on MSN, after that, but I wasn't interested. It was really awkward each time and I guess he finally got. the hint. I ended up giving my mum the flowers, because I don't like them, and I shared the chocolate with my friends.
“Rather than go through the motions of romance, they’d prefer to be honest — even if it means heartbreak,” Leoni said. “It’s also a time when people reflect on their relationship and decide if they truly see a future together.”
“Some feel trapped by Valentine’s Day and the expectations that come with it, and rather than putting in effort for a relationship they don’t see lasting, they cut ties instead,” she concluded.
#7
The ex-boyfriend who bought himself an iguana and the whole kit. He was so excited and made me close my eyes for “my” big surprise. I was livid, not only because I hate reptiles, but because he had no clue it was Valentine’s Day.
I went out of town the next day without telling him and went skiing with friends in Vermont.
DennyS (denzoren) 14 hours ago
I swear this was gonna end up as "and I released it into the wild" lol
#8
In high school I went out for Valentine's day with my then-boyfriend. We had been dating for almost a year, but this was the first time we ever really went anywhere (typical high school relationship I guess).
So we got dinner, and right before we left we exchanged presents. I was going to a fine arts school at this point so I had made him something in class that I was really proud of and hid a gift card to a store he loved inside. He gave me one of those $5 stuffed animals from walgreens and just kind of threw it at me, with no card or anything.
After that we're walking to the car, he's taking up the entire sidewalk almost, so I'm trying to walk through the mushy grass (it had been raining) in heels. I fall in the mud, practically ruin my dress, and he laughs at me.
The worst part is that he didn't even take the present I worked so hard to make for him - he "accidentally" left it at my house when he dropped me off. I still have it, too.
#9
I realized that the Valentine's Day cards I had been receiving from my secret admirer for years were from my parents.
#10
Last Valentine's I spent with my ex. I made us a lovely dinner (lamb shoulder chops, roasted fingerling potatoes and a salad). He got home from work, ate and started a fight with me over nothing so he could retreat to a bar and hit on much younger women... I stayed home and cried, texted my mom about it and left for a few days to stay with my folks. I found out a couple months later he began cheating on me during that time...
#11
Mine’s probably very minor compared to others - my first Valentines with a boyfriend, in my early 20s, he asks me if I like stuffed animals. I say no because I’ve always found them annoying. He gets me one anyway. Like I said, minor, but a good example of why that relationship didn’t work out - he had a fixed idea of how things were supposed to go and just wanted any woman to fit into his picture as the girlfriend.
Laserleader 18 hours ago
Reminded me of a guy who wanted to marry me or any if my 3 sisters because he wanted a lot of kids to be his "army" and since my mom had 7 kids he thought we would too.
#12
Wife and I (fiancée at the time) got dinner, both got food poisoning, and spent the next day or two taking turns in the bathroom. Not quite romantic.
#13
Idk what was worse, the few years with my ex where he didn’t get me anything and threw a fit if my female friends got me something OR after I was newly single again going out with friends after agreeing we’d be each others valentines, I brought them mini teddy bears and candy hearts and they gave a “thanks” and tossed them aside, then at dinner they sat in silence the entire time because they didn't want to spend money at the restaurant THEY picked, I then proceeded to pay for our Photo Booth pictures together, silly me, they ran my card and ended up spending $40 worth of pictures only to ghost me a week later.
#14
My first valentines with a boyfriend at 16, I found out he was cheating on me cause he brought a valentine for another girl and tried to play it off like he felt bad for her. And then my first Valentine’s Day with my new husband, he told me he never loved me and wanted a divorce.
DennyS (denzoren) 14 hours ago
Idk if this is just me but even if its true, which if it is I wouldn't get married in the first place, I don't think that's something you should ever say to someone who you've spent umpteen years with in a marriage....you never loved her....that's one of the worst things to say.
#15
Last year. I had to take a cab to an abortion clinic, alone, because I did not want anyone to know. It was the worst day of my life.
#16
My husband asked for a divorce on Valentines.
tracy black 7 hours ago
me and my ex had been seperated i had the sheriff deliver his divorce papers in a nice red envelope with a balloon to his work lol
#17
Took her out to a Couples Evening dinner, we both were in our Nice dresses, and it was a race to get home as she is about to erupt from every available orifice. The local news ran a story a few days later about there having been a *minor* problem with the salmon for quite a number of people.
#18
I was in kindergarten and my kindergarden-girlfriend gave me a rose. And I don't remember why but I just began to eat this rose. It ended up getting beaten up by her and she left me.
#19
The guy didn't do anything for valentines day. At the time I didn't think much of it, because he always said he was broke. But then my sister pointed out some pretty damning stuff.
Problem 1: he works at dominoes. He knows I love pizza. He gets free pizza at work, and they make heart shaped pizza. At the place that he knows was my current favorite pizza place.
Problem 2: he worked at dominoes. Aka, he has a job. Aka, he could get 10$ for a freaking pizza.
Problem 3: After getting that job, he bought a whole new car. You have the money for a car but not a 10$ pizza?
Problem 4: YOU DONT NEED TO SPEND MONEY TO GO ON A DATE
I should've broke up with him way sooner.
#20
One of my exes saw me at a store and told me he still loved me… we had been broken up for 6 months at the time. And then was offended when I told him I wasn’t getting together with him again, and that we were over. So that was fun.
#21
Got dumped on Valentine's Day.
He was apparently with someone else and decided to dump me on Valentine's Day.
#22
My ex planned a valentine’s day camping trip as my (january) birthday present. i thought that was super cute! then he invited 3 of his friends. (less cute!) like two days before the trip, one of his friends called to say he had covid, but he was still coming on the trip. i told him that i didn’t want to go camping with his friend and risk getting covid. i thought this was reasonable and that he would talk to his friend. instead, he told me i should just stay home :) (the cute is gone, along with my “birthday present” lol) they all went camping without me.
on actual valentine’s day, i went to hang out with my own friends and have dinner at their house. while my bestie was cooking, i was hanging out in the kitchen, just yappin. she had a candle on the counter that i did not pay enough attention to and yep! i accidentally caught my hair on fire, directly up the middle, leaving the middle super short and sides unscathed! luckily i wasn’t hurt (physically), just horrified. it smelled SO bad.
during the freak out that naturally ensued, he called me a few times. when i finally got myself together and called him back, he somehow made me catching my hair on fire about himself??? (still impressed as hell, honestly)
ended up crying and cutting my own hair in the shower because i had to go to work the next day. we broke up when he got home. i don’t think i’ll ever forget that one.
#23
In highschool, my first boyfriend on obviously wanted to break up with me but I was too naive to see it, so he decided to go around telling everyone but me he was sick of me, while ignoring my texts and threw out the baking I made for him on Valentine’s Day, and completely ignored me during school on Valentine’s, and soon as school finished he dumped me OVER TEXT, FIVE MINUTES BEFORE I STARTED WORK.
What is even more ironic is when I went out with my current boyfriend for valentines dinner my ex was at the same restaurant with his current girlfriend! He was looking so scuffy that my boyfriend didn’t recognise him lol, but I do hope he’s treating his current gf better than me :).
#24
In sixth grade I had a crush on a girl and I wanted to send her a rose (something the school did) but, I didn't want her to know it was me (my handwriting is incredibly distinguishable and I was really shy) so I paid one of my friends a dollar to write her name and "Happy Valentines Day, From Your Secret Admirer" on the card. He went to the desk set up at lunch and turned in the card. Everyone at my lunch table (I should have mentioned this took place during lunch) watched as one of the teachers delivered the card to Lauren. (for that was her name) We continued to watch as she smiled and giggled with her friends, she then jumped up and ran to the desk where they were selling the card/roses wrote some stuff down and then ran back to her table. A few moments later, the teacher got up and walked over to my table, she gave a card to my friend, (that I paid to write the note) It was from Lauren, she had recognized his handwriting, and wanted to go on a date. He got up and went to her table and accepted the offer.
They went on a date, and were "dating" (as much as 6th graders can be) for the rest of the year. She moved to El Paso at the end of the school year. Never to be seen again.
#25
I had been dating this guy for almost a year and this was the first Valentine's Day where I wasn't single. He went to a different college and lived about two hours away from me. I was planning on driving out there on Valentine's Day so we could spend the day together.
He came out to visit me the weekend before but I got violently ill. I spent the whole weekend throwing up bile and when I finally went to the hospital Saturday night, I had diabetic ketoacidosis. I spent the rest of the weekend plus some of the week in the hospital.
The ex-boyfriend grudgingly came out and visited me in the hospital after I b**ched him out on the phone. He didn't want to drive to Seattle to see me because he was afraid of driving in the city and it was a pain in the butt for him.
I was released the day before Valentine's Day and he still expected me to drive out, especially since I was missing school and work (because I could barely walk without passing out). I needed time to recover.
We ended up getting into this huge fight because he was being a selfish jerk. I'm still bitter about it three years later.
Crystalwitch60 14 hours ago
U seriously need to let that go ,bitterness n the past only hold you back , your not going that way. Focus on what’s in front of you now , life without a pos bloke !
#26
"I'm not interested in Valentines day, DO NOT GET ME ANYTHING, really, don't"
I believed her.
Grant Slade 18 hours ago
On the same lines as "I'm not mad at you, !!!!!!!" or "Go if you want to, I'm not stopping you !!!!!"
#27
When I was at university, my boyfriend at the time phoned me up on Valentines day whilst on his break at work and dumped me. I asked him if I had done something because it came from nowhere, but he told me his break was up and couldn't talk anymore. So he just hung up.
Coward.
#28
My ex boyfriend would always be "busy" on valentines day and then the next day he would buy all the sale valentine stuff at half price.
(That is not why we're ex, but he was consistently stingy with me while demanding that I treat him like a king).
DennyS (denzoren) 14 hours ago (edited)
I can't blame him for the sale stuff because like...it is a commercial day but you could at least tell her that's what you're doing. The last part he's just being a d*******g).
#29
Got dumped the day after Valentine’s Day 2 years ago. It was also the day before her birthday which I had spent a small fortune on.
Jocelyn Webster 5 hours ago
Kudos to you OP for planning.. sorry from a female, that she was a d**k.
#30
Probably the time that my gf stopped by a 'friend's' house after dinner for 'fifteen minutes' to 'say hi' and ended up spending the night there. Just friends. Yeah. Right.
#31
In high school I was crazy about this one girl. But she had a boyfriend, so I stayed firmly in the "trusted friend" category.
Well, early February comes around, and she breaks up with her boyfriend! We plan to meet up for dinner a day or two before Valentine's day. I'm stoked, I buy her a Valentine's day Teddy Bear, and I'm seriously gonna ask her out, tell her my feelings, etc. Well I pull up to her house, and she comes out, and the first thing she says to me is "Me and my boyfriend got back together, aren't you happy!!"
That. Sucked.
#32
First valentines day i had a boyfriend he dumped me. only he didn't even do the dumping, but made my friend tell me when i arrived to meet him with his gift. ah, high school.
#33
Last year the guy I was dating was planning to be out of town on Valentine's Day for work, so I was teaching a 3 hours ceramics class. For the few days leading up to Vday, he's dropping hints like he may fly in to see me to celebrate. Instead, he calls me during the 30 minute break in the middle of my ceramics class to break up with me to go back to his ex-girlfriend in a grand gesture because of the holiday.
So last year I cried while teaching a ceramics class because I got dumped on Valentine's Day.
#34
In fifth grade, I didn't receive a single Valentine's Day card in my cubby while everyone else did
DennyS (denzoren) 14 hours ago
Yeah, don't feel bad, I've never had any valentines stuff all through school so you're not alone....but you know what's just as good? Half price chocolate on the 15th!
#35
My wife asked me to get her a soda at the gas station this morning, but she forgot to meet me there. So I was just standing there with a fountain soda waiting for my wife. Just thought "I got stood up on Valentines day, by my wife, at a gas station." Little bit of a low point.
#36
Mine was a couple of years ago in middle school when we had a Valentine’s Day dance and me and one of my crushes were talking like a week before the dance. I made an elaborate plan to talk to him and get to know him but it soon went down hill when he just wouldn’t talk to me and talk to his friends. Later, close to the end of the dance, he said “don’t ever talk to me again, I want nothing to do with you.” After that I just stopped being elaborate and now I am upfront most times.
#37
Last year, I was working on Valentine's day as a server. Boy, oh boy was it awful. It was filled with tears, from men to women to children. I was like... This can't be real life right now. I served more napkins than food.
If you're going to have an emotional breakdown in public, do it at the grocery store like the rest of us! Don't do it in front of an innocent bystander that would rather be with their husband on the day of love instead of awkwardly trying to do anything to ignore the tears as I ask "if you're ready to order" or "how your meal is".
#38
I’ll share one where I’m the bad guy, at least one of them. I’m currently “single” but talking to one guy who I’m making dinner tonight and still head over heels in love with my ex.
Last night, I met up with the ex to watch an episode of our favorite show. We decided to go out for a nightcap drink after. While at his neighborhood bar we run into a girl he’s been on a date with since the breakup. I got insecure and hit on another girl at the bar right in front of him and his friends.
Neither he or the other girl were even really talking. He was the bad guy in a lot of our relationship issues but last night was on me.
Now I’m begrudgingly bringing that energy into guy 2s valentines night.
I know it’s messy and I need to do better but this is where I am at the moment.
#39
I asked a girl out on Valentines day with a gift I had hand made (LED's, Microcontroller, soldered it, the whole nine-yards).
Didn't get to go out to dinner with her on Valentines day :/
Rejected. And it still hurts.
DennyS (denzoren) 14 hours ago
It does but she wasn't the one for you. You'll find someone that likes it and you. (I assume, I haven't found that person yet so like, you and me both buddy lol)
#40
Told him how I felt about him after being in love with him for a year. He told me he just wanted to be friends. (This is after we’ve dated before and he’s told me he loves me and the whole 9 yards.) Then he started acting like a jerk.
I don’t know how to feel or what to do because he’s my best friend but he’s also the only person I’ve ever loved the way I do and I’m kind of crushed.
Jane Doe 11 hours ago
He is not your friend. He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want to look like a jerk, so he's going to keep letting you hang around. It would be kinder for him to say he doesn't want a relationship with you and make a clean break so you can move on. I say this with kindness, move on. You will be happier even by yourself over keeping hope alive by seeing him, talking to him...it's like picking at a scab. Let yourself heal.
#41
Well here is my story:
I became best friends with a wonderful girl 3 years ago. Last Valentine's Day I planned on taking her out to dinner and dropping the news on how I felt about her. She told me being friends was for the best, I was sad.
We ended up going out later in the school year (Senior at the time).
#42
I have broken up with two people on Valentine’s Day in past relationships. So yeah I just don’t celebrate anymore.
Partypants 9 hours ago
Why on Valentine's both times? I understand there's never a perfect time to break up but twice on Valentine's??
What do you think ?
Phil Green 6 hours ago
I do not understand this massive fixation with St Valentine's Day. My wife and I don't even notice it. We have been together for twenty-six years and there has never been a single day when we haven't told each other how much we love one another. I am sixty-seven now, but I love her more than the first time I ever told her I loved her. If you can only show your love in pieces every so often, it's time to re-evaluate yourself.
Unicorn 10 hours ago
I have never celebrated it in any way. I suppose I'm just not a romantic.
Kiss Army 6 hours ago
My husband and I decided very early on that Valentine's Day is a dating person's holiday and that our anniversary is our hand-picked day to celebrate our love without all the commercial hype and expectations that go with Valentine's Day. For our anniversary we usually go somewhere together or pick a joint gift that we have been wanting for the house or of that nature and it has suited us perfectly for over 30 years. (Our anniversary gifts have varied from elaborate trips to a new riding lawn mover but they have been chosen together and made us happy.)
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 4 hours ago
I refuse to do Valentines, having been a server. The entire thing is best off buried.
Phil Green 6 hours ago
I do not understand this massive fixation with St Valentine's Day. My wife and I don't even notice it. We have been together for twenty-six years and there has never been a single day when we haven't told each other how much we love one another. I am sixty-seven now, but I love her more than the first time I ever told her I loved her. If you can only show your love in pieces every so often, it's time to re-evaluate yourself.
Unicorn 10 hours ago
I have never celebrated it in any way. I suppose I'm just not a romantic.
Kiss Army 6 hours ago
My husband and I decided very early on that Valentine's Day is a dating person's holiday and that our anniversary is our hand-picked day to celebrate our love without all the commercial hype and expectations that go with Valentine's Day. For our anniversary we usually go somewhere together or pick a joint gift that we have been wanting for the house or of that nature and it has suited us perfectly for over 30 years. (Our anniversary gifts have varied from elaborate trips to a new riding lawn mover but they have been chosen together and made us happy.)
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 4 hours ago
I refuse to do Valentines, having been a server. The entire thing is best off buried.
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