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These 23 Office Items Are So Wrong, They Make Your Soul-Crushing Job Feel Right
Article created by: Eligijus Sinkunas
The modern office environment can often feel like a beige box designed to slowly siphon your will to live, one fluorescent flicker at a time. It’s a world of lukewarm coffee, endless meetings about meetings, and the subtle tyranny of the shared printer. But what if, amidst this sea of sensible staplers and soul-crushingly dull motivational posters, there existed tiny beacons of absurdity? What if the key to surviving the 9-to-5 grind wasn't another productivity hack, but rather, a collection of items so wonderfully terrible, they loop right back around to being utterly brilliant?
Prepare yourselves, because we've ventured into the deepest, weirdest corners of the internet to unearth the kind of office supplies that HR probably wouldn't approve, but your inner chaos muppet definitely will. We're talking cow paperclips with their own UFO, dragon head staplers ready to vanquish boring memos, and mood indicators that let your colleagues know exactly what kind of day it is without you uttering a single, passive-aggressive word. These are the finds that scream "I have a personality, and it's slightly unhinged but mostly harmless," and honestly, isn't that what every desk truly needs?
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Review: "These things are awesome, everyone loves them that sees them. I'm a master Mason by trade and had to have a cube of these on my desk in my office. My grandson loves playing with them when he's around and building like his pappy!!! Fun for everyone..." - Jason Diehl
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#2
Because You Deserve Recognition For Surviving Another Week Of Office Shenanigans, Even If You Have To Buy Your Own 'Whitest Sneakers' Dundie Award
Review: "My son is a big Office fan - gift for his home office." - Amazon Customer
#3
Conquer Your Most Mundane Paperwork With The Completely Unnecessary But Undeniably Awesome Power Of This Dragon Head Stapler
Review: "Got this for my mom for mother’s day! She loves it! It’s a lot heavier duty than I figured it would be. It’s made very well! Plus it looks amazing! Highly recommend." - Athena S
#4
Survive The Soul-Crushing Monotony Of The Work Week One Groan-Worthy Pun At A Time With This Essential Punny Daily Desk Calendar
Review: "Bought this for my sister in law and it’s been a massive hit! Our group of gals looks forward to the daily update 🥰" - Camille Watson
#5
Add A Touch Of Goth Glam To Your Otherwise Mind-Numbingly Dull Task Of Opening Office Mail With These Surprisingly Sharp Skull Scissors
Review: "LOVE the details on these SKULL scissors!!! These are great quality and look really cool! The scissors are nice and sharp and I would definitely recommend and will most likely buy a second pair for myself since I gifted these ones to my sister for her birthday." - Adrienne
#6
Because Every Soul-Crushing Spreadsheet Deserves A Tiny, Amphibious Observer Who Probably Gets Your Pain, You Need This Miniature Desktop Frog
Review: "Everyone at my office loves him." - Olivia Lonardo
#7
Your Desk Has Opinions, Probably A Lot Of Them About Your Coworkers, And It's High Time It Got A Sarcastic Desk Sign To Express Them For You
Review: "Got it as a gift for a coworker that was moving. Was exactly as described and a super cute going away gift." - Kristine T
#8
Your Most Boring Documents Are About To Get A Much-Needed Injection Of 'Aww' And A Subtle Hint Of Your True Cat-Person Identity Thanks To These Cat Paperclips
Review: "Not only are they cute, but they function really well too." - Melissa
#9
Your Urgent Memos And Passive-Aggressive Reminders Can Now Be Delivered With A Touch Of Creepy-Cute Whimsy Thanks To This Unforgettable Ceramic Doll Dry Erase Board
Review: "Fun, great size for desk, perfect for my needs!" - MamaDebbieB
#10
For Those Days When Words Just Can't Express Your Current Level Of 'This Meeting Could Have Been An Email,' This Desktop Mood Indicator With Its Expressive Animal Photos Will Do The Heavy Lifting For You
Review: "Great gift for coworker at office. Nice color pictures and just the right size to place on a desk." - Lisa J
#11
Pretend You're A Super Spy Destroying Classified Documents (Instead Of Just Shredding That Passive-Aggressive Memo From Brenda) With This Satisfyingly Low-Tech Hand Crank Paper Shredder
Review: "I love it. I shred all my receipts. This little shredder helps me avoid keeping a stack to shred in my big shredder. The small shredder works every time and is fun to use." - Renella S. Kendall
#12
Because Verbalizing 'I'm Surrounded By Buffoons' Might Get You Fired, This "Hr Authorised Ways To Tell Your Coworkers They're Dumb" Book Offers Some Slightly More Diplomatic (And Hilarious) Alternatives
Review: "As someone who works in HR, I bought this for my boss and he loved it! Thinking about buying a second copy to keep for myself." - Morgan Bailie
#13
For When You Need To Send A Clear, Concise Message To The Office Wanderers That Your Concentration Is More Fragile Than A House Of Cards In A Hurricane, There's This Essential Do Not Disturb Door Sign
Review: "I had other co workers that swore by these and I decided to get one and I love it." - Shawn
#14
Let Your Pens Achieve Their Peak Fitness And Inspire Your Own (Probably Nonexistent) Workout Motivation With This Hilariously Buff Squat Rack Pen Holder
Review: "Totally adorable. Easy to put together and it actually hold pretty good. Got this as a novelty present for someone that has it all and they loved it." - Ane
Review: "Gave this to my bff/coworker for Christmas and she absolutely loves it. We have already had several great laughs while we ponder the life mistakes we made that led to us working in this absolute dumpster fire of a job. 10/10 highly recommend!" - Jessica
#16
Look, Your Tps Reports Are Already An Alien Concept, So Why Not Lean Into The Madness With These Cow Paperclips That Come With Their Own Adorable Abduction-Ready UFO Holder
Review: "Love the little cows and how silly it is in my office!" - Marissa Razo
#17
Your Desk Is Probably A Chaotic Mess Anyway, So At Least Your Headphones Can Look Regal Chilling On The Tail Of This Adorable Cat Headphone Hook
Review: "My coworkers are super envious of Ginger when the see her perched on the corner of my computer screen, holding up my headphones." - Tiffany Miller
Review: "Just as described, love it perfect desk conversation starter. Everyone comments. Love it." - Tammy Jones
Review: "My work computer goes to sleep super quickly and also disconnects from the VPN if no activity. Now I can go to lunch and not worry about having to log back onto the system! Easy to use, works great, I actually didn't think it was working because it is so smooth and quiet." - jamiemp76
Review: "I thought this was cute and it is a fun addition to the desk. It is sturdy and worth the cost." - Shannon
Review: "Cute vacuum desk just perfect on my desk. It works really good by cleaning up dust and small little trash." - Gene Thao
#22
Let The Force (And A Wise Little Green Dude) Keep Your Important Binders And Manuals From Toppling Over In A Most Un-Jedi-Like Fashion With These Yoda Book Ends
Review: "The person I got this for loved it. Its really cute." - Amazon Customer
#23
Your To-Do List Might Be Terrifying, But At Least Your Reminders Can Be Purr-Fectly Adorable Thanks To These Cat Sticky Notes
Review: "I love this compact folder holding multiple sticker notes. I got the li ed ones. Perfect for marking a page for later, adding a quick note and compact size makes it easy to travel with." - McBeth
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