“What Tip Or Piece Of Advice Do You Constantly See That You Strongly Disagree With?” (31 Answers)
Some pieces of advice are popular and get given out for a reason, but most often everyone’s situation is different and the solution to their problem will be one of a kind.
Although that won’t stop people from trying to help with generic suggestions such as “just be yourself” or “work hard and you’ll succeed.” Redditors find them pretty annoying and list ‘wisdom’ they can’t agree with in a viral thread.
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When someone is upset or feeling down and people say “ there are bigger problems in the world”. Really isn’t helpful at all, if a person is already feeling down what good is thinking about more larger scale problems going to do for them?
"Only one human may suffer! Only the one that has it worst!" it's not a competition or that you feel better because someone has is worse or something are worse.. 😐
“never give up” .... sometimes you have to realize your efforts were futile and move on
'Respect elders' - just because people are older in age doesn't mean that they are smarter and deserve your respect. That's something that should be earned and should go both ways no matter the age.
A lot of older people have two definition of "respect": "treat as an authority" and "treat as a person". So when they say "If you won't respect me, I won't respect you", they mean "If you won't treat me as an authority, I won't treat you as a person".
That people only treat you the way to let them treat you.
Sometimes an ahole is an ahole, and there's nothing you can do about it.
"they're bullying you because they're jealous of you"
bs, kids bully each other because they are evil
'If you don't pay attention to the bullying, it will stop" - b******t!
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Not true. Sometimes it makes you weaker too.
Cancer didn't kill me, but it sure did hurt me in ways that will never heal.
"Man up" gets a special shoutout. Most of them in this thread there is at least some use for then. "Man up" just means "you're the wrong gender to be allowed feelings, shut up" which is literally always bad.
That you need to clean your plate. If you are full, STOP EATING. Otherwise, I think you forget the difference between being FULL and being STUFFED.
Family is everything. Popping out a kid does not grant you knowledge on how to raise a child. Terrible people have kids and expect to be be prioritized because "family". You can cut out toxic family members. You can choose your own family with friends who support you and give it to your straight. Life is too short to be chained to toxic people simply because you're related.
Family is like appendix: you do have only one, but if it threatens your health and well-being, you cut it off.
That everyone needs to go to college. It's great for many, but isn't a good fit for some, and it is entirely possible to be successful without it.
"You can do/be *anything* you want if you just believe and work hard enough!"
The opposite is equally bad tho: the defeatists who never even try because they're 100% certain they'd fail.
Telling new couples to "not go to bed angry". That is BS. No one is going to come to a logical and peaceful resolution in a disagreement while they are tired, disallusioned, and irritated. Even hostage negotiators know that sometimes you need to back away from the discussion and allow time for fresh air to pass.
If you and your S.O. cannot agree on something that is important to you both and it is getting late, agree to table the discussion for tomorrow. Go to bed and allow your sleep to relax and refresh your mind. If you don't cuddle that night, it is okay. The next day, you both will be able to hash out the issue with cooler heads and logical reasoning.
You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. I love my niece and nephews and sisters more than life itself. If I could just die right now, I'd celebrate. I hate myself, I hate the life I live, who I am, the way I look, everything. But damn if I wouldn't go to the ends of the Earth to make my family happy. Don't tell me I can't love them because I don't love me.
Am meteorologist.
Do NOT get under a highway overpass to hide from a tornado. It is possibly the worst place you could be. The wind gets forced into a narrow channel because of the bridge, and it INCREASES the wind speed, and likely ends up burying you in debris, not to be seen for 3 weeks when they dig your body out.
That stupid video from Andover KS in 1991 has killed so many people in the last 30 years...
EDIT: To answer a few FAQs from the replies:
* Do not stay in a car. If the tornado is strong enough to throw heavy things at you, it's strong enough to throw the car. You need to find a building. The car should be basically your last resort. It is better than literally standing next to the car, but even lying flat in a ditch is better than being in the car.
* Only in extreme cases would I ever advise trying to escape, as in leaving your home to get IN a car and get away. The path of a tornado is relatively narrow and quite erratic at times. By the time you're SURE it's going to hit your house, you have literally seconds left to react. If you leave sooner, there's just as good of a chance that you would have been fine at home.
* [Here's the Andover video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk5gvuraXzo). The part I'm talking about starts at 1:30.
Similarly: when driving with high speed cross winds you should speed up rather than slow down because that converts the side wind into a head wind. Shame the police officer didn't accept this when they caught me...
Pretty much all of the essential oil "advice". You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proven to work? Medicine.
“Don’t worry, things will get better” haha, tell that to the people who cried for help only for help not come/work for them.
Some things do get better, but not everything.
"Just play the game," especially in an office setting.
There's something to be said for fitting in and getting along. We all have to make concessions for society to work.
HOWEVER. People who perpetuate the idea that your workplace is toxic and political by design and that the only way to navigate it is to be a sociopath are part of the problem. And we all know that person who says they're above the drama but they never do anything to quell it nor do they ever stand up for anything they believe in for fear of "starting s**t."
Nobody likes conflict. If voicing a reasonable opinion to a reasonable person or defending yourself against underserved criticism is "starting s**t" or "not playing the game" then congratulations. You work in a toxic environment.
I dunno. Tacit support of horrible situations just irks me.
Good things come to those who wait
I knew a woman who stayed at a dead end job for not enough pay with a boss who constantly disrespected her in a city she hated all because she was "waiting for god to open a door" for her.
“We have to respect other people’s values”
Speak to the cannibals, slave owners and terrorists. They would be very delighted with this favorable social gospel of providing them the conducive space to perpetuate and propagate their murderous customs and creed. Why are we even clearing out cannibalism and cannibalistic tribes? There are things we just should not even condone, not to say, giving respect to those barbarism. Understand and empathize, maybe, but respect?
"Practice makes perfect"
If you're not practicing something the right way, you won't be perfect at it.
Perfect practice makes perfect. Practicing something the wrong way re-enforces the error instead of correcting it.
"Follow your heart" literally the worst advice to give someone.
Your heart is deceptive and illogical, never follow your heart unless your brain is involved as well. If you just do everything on a wim without any plan or reason you'll get yourself into a lot different situations and 8/10 times they don't go well.
DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
Your brain is far more capable of subtle self deception than your heart. Your heart reacts to how you feel and while your feelings may not be appropriate they are the honest manifestation of your state of being. I agree, following your heart is not the best path but failing to listen to your heart when considering your choices is disastrous. Your brain is capable of logic but morality and ethics are beyond logic, they are conscience and its your heart that tells you your conscience is being pricked not your head.
"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel."
What if that light is a train?
"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life"
The only people who don't work are people who already have money, they can afford to do what they love.
Meanwhile, the majority of us are stuck in this weird limbo where we had a passion/developing skill early in life, were told to study it academically and subsequently lost our taste for it and are either working out of our field of study or in it and both instances we're miserably cobbling together a living and have had our passions either eliminated or severely reduced.
I'm not opposed to the idea that people are driven from day one to pursue a certain field and are able to both put in the work and maintain their passion for it. But I don't like it when parents encourage their kids to adapt this mindset from day one. Instead I would focus on exposing them to a variety of activities and experiences and have them prioritize which ones they can tolerate and do well career-wise in realistically to support the constructive activities that give them joy and stimulate their minds.
Enjoying in what you do for a living is a luxury many don't have. Some of us are passionate about something from day one; others reach retirement age without ever experiencing what it's like to have a fulfilling job. I don't plan to interfere with my kid's career choices, but I would love, for her sake, to fall into the first category like me because loving what you do makes so much difference for you life quality.
*Drink more water, more, more, even if you're not thirsty.*
None of the X-cups-per-day rules are based on empirical evidence. Just drink when you're thirsty and you will be fine.
It is possible to drink to much. Urine should be yellow, not clear.
"Screw what everyone else thinks about you; you're perfect just the way you are."
This one falls into gray area a bit, because while yes, you shouldn't judge your self-worth on others' opinions of you, sometimes it is a good idea to listen to what they have to say. Sometimes people just suck--terrible personality, lack of basic hygiene, disrespecting others, etc. and they would benefit from changing so they don't hurt themselves or other people.
How people view you is important, and how you behave and appear in public will affect how society views you. Sure, you can walk out of your house without having a shower for a month, in old sweats, and sneering at the morning sun, but most people will have a negative reaction to you; that's just human nature.
So yes, you should feel free to present yourself how you wish, but don't expect everyone to accept you.
All the bs quotes about "don't let others dull your sparkle, other people don't understand what you're trying to achieve, if they don't benefit you cut them off" most of the time these quotes just enable narcissists to be selfish and not consider others. Just don't be an a*****e it's not hard.
If you truly believe that that’s what people mean most of the time, you’ve been deriving too much pleasure from dulling others’ sparkle.
For prospective US-based law students: going to the best school you get in. I hear this time and again. This is really horrible advice for most people. Firstly, most people shouldn’t be going to law school, period. Secondly, rankings only matter if the difference puts you in or out of a top 14 ranked school. These top 14 schools benefit from better employment opportunities with elite firms (known as big law) and better opportunities with federal clerkships and academia. However, a lot of these jobs actually suck (like you will die internally suck). And going to these schools pretty much guarantees you’ll have over $200k of law debt. So for most people that go to law school (which again, shouldn’t be many people), I often say to go somewhere that minimizes your debt. That should be the biggest consideration for most people.
"live every day like it's your last."
Begrudgingly doing something because you think you'll miss out is pretty toxic and desperate behaviour, not to mention selfish in certain situations as well as impulsive.
I prefer "live every day like it's your first," meaning free of prejudices or judgement. You're an open book who is curious about your surroundings and also has no pre-conceived notions about the new things you'll encounter.
I don't necessarily think that's what the saying means. It's simply a reminder not to put off things that are important or enjoyable. Tomorrow isn't promised, hell, later today isn't promised, so if you have something you want to do, and can, do it.
Our high school chorus director had a large group but no tenors.
So he constantly advised bass-baritones:"Keep trying to sing higher and eventually you'll be able to sing tenor."
(Since then, I've known other choir directors who've coerced baritones into attempting high-tenor parts, despite the strain on their vocal cords, just to "cover" the part in performance.)
The end result was a chorus with baritones that had chronic sore throats and who were discouraged trying to do something unnatural for them just to "please" the director.
Unless it was an all male choir, I feel it would have been better to get some of the altos to sing tenor
The deluge of advice everywhere on motivation and passion. The idea that motivation is a prerequisite to accomplish any task/goal and that one must constantly be chasing this mental state of 'Aha! I'm finally motivated, let's get some work done.'
I don't find that to be a very useful axiom to base such popular advice. I find that sentiment to be damaging actually when it comes to mental health and productivity in general.
Surely motivation in the general sense of the word exists: it's just not a reliable thing to depend in terms of being efficient or productive. I'm more motivated when I get things and that boosts my confidence as well. Many a time action leads to motivation. Not vice-versa necessarily.
'Follow your passion'
I kinda hate this. It's a double standard, and is only really helpful towards those who are already going to do what they're 'passionate' about whilst being harmful towards people who didn't exactly end up where they wanted to in an idealistic life. This advice assumes everything is perfect. Giving an example, if someone has hit a low point in their life, this advice could be seen as punishing them for reminding them that they could be better instead of being happy of where they are.
I know I've explained this horribly, CGP grey talks about this an explains it a lot better than I do (though I can't seem to find the source, I believe it was in a Q&A video)
To summarize; >Those kinds of [successful] people who are 'passionate' about their work find this advice meaningless. They're going to do what they're 'passionate' about anyway. So this advice is useless to its exemplars while being *anti useful* to everyone else, making most people feel bad about their lives and their work by setting an *impossibly* high bar.
This expresses my point (where i fail to) perfectly.
Don't go in a direction you hate because you expect it to lead to a good job. If you hate accountancy, even a 'good' accounting job is going to be miserable. If you hate sick people, it doesn't matter if RNs are always in demand. There maybe lots of RN jobs, but if all of them would make you miserable, that doesn't do you much good. Look at what day jobs you think you could do without wanting to kill yourself on the way to work. Maybe that's IT, maybe it's being a plumber, maybe technical writing. Yes, look at career paths an employability, and don't expect to be able to follow your passion, but pick something you don't hate the thought of. Also - do some googling, and work out what jobs in your 'passion' career are actually like. Love to cook doesn't mean you want to be a chef.
"Never stop hoping" I personally found that hope can turn toxic.
Hope is the worst. Hope brings false happiness and expectations, only to have it crushed by reality. Hope can turn to obsession, fanaticism, being unprepared and constantly feeling let down. I've given up on hope. I dream, but not expect anything good to come of it. I still strive to make my and my family's lives better every day. I dint sit around hoping it will get better.
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One should be, don’t take medical advice from the internet. Tied with, don’t get your mental health support from the internet.
"Never stop hoping" I personally found that hope can turn toxic.
Hope is the worst. Hope brings false happiness and expectations, only to have it crushed by reality. Hope can turn to obsession, fanaticism, being unprepared and constantly feeling let down. I've given up on hope. I dream, but not expect anything good to come of it. I still strive to make my and my family's lives better every day. I dint sit around hoping it will get better.
Load More Replies... One should be, don’t take medical advice from the internet. Tied with, don’t get your mental health support from the internet.
