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30 People Reveal What Parents Are Too Extreme In This Viral Thread About ‘Helicopter Parenting’
No matter how much they might love their kids, at some point, parents need to learn to draw firm boundaries. You can’t still baby your child when they’re in their 20s, 30s, and…40s. Except, unfortunately, there are some helicopter parents who do that.
Today we’re featuring some of the most extreme cases of helicopter parenting ever, as shared in this viral r/AskReddit thread. Scroll down to see just how intense some parents can get when it comes to protecting their little (and not-so-little) munchkins from the big bad world. And if you feel like sharing, why not tell us about the very worst cases of over-the-top parenting that you’ve seen, dear Pandas?
Helicopter parents get their name from the fact that they ‘hover’ over their kids and pay extremely close attention to their lives. No problem or challenge can be kept secret from them. No event will remain hidden for long. And God forbid that you stand in their way or you do anything to even slightly inconvenience their kids.
Bored Panda reached out to Lenore Skenazy to have a chat about helicopter parenting, why parents do it, and what can be done to stop it. Lenore is the president of Let Grow, the nonprofit promoting childhood independence, and author of ‘Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers can Let Go and Let Grow.’
“Parents don’t set out to helicopter—it’s boring, nerve-wracking, and takes a ton of time—but our society has made it almost impossible NOT to helicopter,” she told us.
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My brother was injured in a training accident in the Israeli army. It wasn't life threatening but it was a pretty messy injury that needed immediate care. For some reason the base commander tried to hide the injury and refused to send my brother to the hospital. Instead he sent him to the camp medic who took one look at my brother and said "here, have some morphine and holy god I'm going to call for help". My brother asked him to call my mom.
My mom, a military police colonel at the time, commandeered a helicopter along with a squad of MP's. She then flew up into Lebanon where my brother was based, landed in the middle of his base, ordered her way into the medical tent while setting the MP's outside as guards, loaded my brother into the chopper and evacced him out.
To be fair, she's a great mom who usually lets us fail on our own, but you asked for helicopter parenting examples and it doesn't get more helicopter parent than actually commandeering a helicopter to go take care of your son!
According to childhood independence expert Lenore Skenazy, modern society is structured in such a way that parents almost inevitably start helicoptering.
“Schools expect parents to drop off and pick up their children—at least here in America they do—and they often expect them to stick around for ‘Reading Buddies’ and various class events. Then, after school, if a child is not in some extracurricular activity or sports program, there may not be any other kids left to just play with in the park,” she explained the situation to Bored Panda.
“So even the non-helicopter parent ends up enrolling their kid in a sport or activity, too, and sometimes they are required to stay and watch, and sometimes the sport meets five days a week! And after that, there’s a lot of homework the parents are expected to oversee, and reading time, and teeth-brushing supervision, and pretty soon an adult has been by the child’s side, directing their every move, for most of the day.”
Mine. I was 20 years old and still not allowed out of the house without my mom, and I had to hold hands crossing the street. I never had a job, never learned to cook, all because I was in her words going to live with her forever.
I got a boyfriend, even though I'd never been allowed to visit anyone's house. Ever. She asked to see his SS and birth certificate to prove he was the age he said he was.
I told her I wanted to move out and she freaked. Called police and told them I was mentally unstable, told them I wasn't ready for the outside world.
The police believed her and it took me a full year to actually escape. I even had relatives parked outside at night to make sure I didn't leave.
I'm now 23 and slowly adjusting to the world but it's hard. I can cook but driving is hard. I have no social skills. I don't know how to talk to people.
And she still asks me to come home every day via text.
I was a manager of a bagel store. Had an interview with a kid, I think he was about 16.
His dad came to the interview, and basically answered every single question I asked the kid.
At the end of the interview I turned to the dad and said "You're hired.", look on his face was priceless. The kid laughed his ass off.
Lenore stressed the fact that helicopter parenting has become such a norm that trying to do things differently, the old-fashioned way, can land someone in trouble for supposed neglect.
“When a parent really wants to raise a ‘Free-Range Kid’—a kid with some old-fashioned freedom to do things like play outside or even help out by running an errand—they worry that some busybody with a phone will call the cops to report a neglected child! So I don’t blame parents for helicoptering. They are forced to by the way our modern world refuses to believe kids can do anything safely or successfully on their own.”
I had a mother turn up at my work place accusing me of racism that I didn’t hire her daughter. We’re a very multicultural practice and myself and 2 other people are white English, 6 Indian staff, 2 Greek, 2 Nigerian, 3 Chinese and 3 Pakistani. I took her to our photo wall of staff and asked her why she thinks I was racist and she said that her daughter “looked more Indian than the other staff”... Her daughter, who was more than qualified, didn’t get the job for a couple of reasons:
1 - She refused to put her phone away during the interview in case her mother phoned. 2 - Her mother phoned more than 10 times - she answered every call. 3 - She asked if she could keep her mum on the phone to listen into the interview in case she needed help to answer my questions.
How could she run a practice if she needed to have her mum help her at the interview?!
I have a hard time believing that. Why would anybody not tell her thank you, that's it, after like at least the second call?
I used to teach middle school. The teacher next to me had given a 6th grade girl a C on a paper because it didn't meet the proper criteria.
Mom was livid and came into the school furious about the grade.
After the teacher and Mom went back and forth about the grade, the Mom blurts:
"I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE AND I TOOK WRITING COURSES FOR FOUR YEARS, AND I WROTE THIS PAPER. ARE YOU TELLING ME I CAN'T GET AN 'A' ON A 6TH GRADE ASSIGNMENT?"
The teacher stuck to her guns, but never answered the question.
I have no idea why parents cheat for the kids. Sure you get a short term result while the kid learns zero skills and is crippled for life.
My wife being a teacher had to deal with this on a regular basis. Usually, she would have that parent do menial tasks so they would not bother the class. One parent became so overbearing (demanding to see lesson plans, making my wife take class time to re-explain subjects), my wife deliberately left a quiz out. This parent took the quiz and slipped her kid the answers. Knowing the kid was not a good student, my wife got the parent to fess up to taking the test and passing the answers. This went to the principal, and he banned her from the class. The parent made multiple complaints, even going to a district meeting. The school board held up the ban.
However, it’s not a done deal that we have to resign ourselves to a future chock full of helicopter parents. Lenore shared some spot-on advice with us on how to change the situation and create a healthier, happier family environment.
“The best and I think ONLY way to stop helicoptering is to gently push parents into letting go, even one time, so they can see how fantastic it feels to them AND their kids. That’s what The Let Grow Project makes happen,” she said.
“The Project is an independence-building program for schools created by the nonprofit I run, and it’s free! Any teacher, counselor, or principal can download The Let Grow Project right here. It’s basically a homework assignment teachers give their students that says, ‘Go home and do one new thing on your own, without your parents.’ The kids, anywhere from age 5 through 15, then talk with their parents about something they feel they’re ready to do but haven’t done yet, like walk to school, go to the store, climb a tree…you name it,” she went into detail about the Let Grow Project.
As a kid, my sister had a friend and went over to her house quite a bit to hang out with her. The friend lived in a very nice, quiet neighborhood.
After a day of hanging with her friend at her house, my sister told me that her friend’s parents had placed cameras in her room. The camera was also equipped with a microphone to not only hear what was going on in her room, but also to speak to the child.
My sister told stories after coming home about the Mom calling in to the room to sometimes tell them to stop doing an activity or to be a little more quiet. THIS WOMAN WAS WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE AND LISTENING TO THEIR EVERY CONVERSATION!
I feel bad for the girl, honestly. To me that’s a huge invasion of privacy, as well as it is extremely creepy in general.
If it were me, I’d throw every camera installed in the room straight out the window, or at the Mom. Whichever.
Military recruiting - the helicopter parents who would try to have us recruit their kid without their consent were staggering. Parents would call to make appointments for testing, and were furious when we said we had to speak to the kid. If the kid is a minor, the parents have to sign a waiver, and at that point we can no longer give any information to the parent, so some parents would call and pose as their child in order to get test results, book appointments, and so on. Some parents even tried to attend the testing with their child and were furious when we said no.
Then, invariably, when little Johnny got turned down for being a s*** pump with no initiative, we'd get an earful from Mommy about how their child is the most special human being on the earth. Those were the fun times when I could say "have you stopped to consider that Johnny isn't getting a job because he has no initiative or desire to be here based on a parent pushing him into a career he doesn't want, rather than him being allowed to make his own choices?" Usually didn't go over well, and then I'd hang up.
Why would people who are insanely overprotective send the kid to a job where getting shot at is expected? This sounds more like "the army will teach you discipline" kind of control freaks
Working summer orientation for my old community college, and we have new students register for classes towards the end of the session. Counselors are there to help with class selection.
This one mom was literally hovering over her son telling him which classes to choose and completely ignoring the counselor's advice, when she had [her son] stand up. She proceeded to sit down, and she herself started registering her son for his classes.
I tried to intervene, letting her know that we ask that the student [to] register themselves, and that he'll be doing online registration for the rest of his college career. I was told to f**k off.
Later, I pulled him aside and told him to change his password and swap into a class more appropriate for his placement exams.
It was this incident that triggered us to design a parent orientation to keep them away from their kids.
“You will not verbally assault the staff. You must leave immediately or be liable for criminal trespass.”
“The family agrees on a Project and off the kid goes. The parent is uncomfortable for a little while and probably the kid is too. But when that child comes BACK—flushed and happy and proud—it breaks the ice of fear in BOTH generations! The parent is thrilled to see their child blossoming into a competent, confident young adult. The child is thrilled that their parents believed in them.”
Lenore shared with us this 2-minute video about “elementary school kids talking about their Let Grow Projects and parents saying things like, Now my daughter is having the kind of childhood I had. She DOES things now, she’s not just on a screen.’”
Meanwhile, another 2-minute video shows three teachers talking about how the Let Grow Project helped kids get back to normal after all the disruptions of Covid. “Finally, here’s an ‘at home’ version, The Let Grow Independence Kit, for parents to download, too. It’s free, too,” Lenore shared some resources that can help boost kids’ independence and help helicopter parents change their ways.
I knew a mother who kept her 5-year-old daughter in diapers when they went out of the house because she didn't want her using public restrooms. Because the girl sitting in her own excrement was much better for her health, apparently.
How will she send the kid to school? Or just homeschool and then send them to work in depends?
Had a mother call me to find out why her son didn't get the job.
He's 40.
And an attorney.
WOW!! Creepy beyond words!! Geesh! What is wrong with these people??!!
One lady we had over was shocked that my (at the time) 9 year old younger brother could dress himself and brush his teeth.
Claiming that he was “so mature” and that her daughter age 9, couldn’t do anything like that.
My mom immediately realized it was helicopter parenting and had a long talk with her. I hope that little girl has learned how to dress herself and do lots of other basics now.
I have an 11 year old with autism that can't do those things independently and trust me-i want her to. Parents who try to keep their kids dependent on them irk me
“The key is for parents to get over the terror of worrying ‘What if???’ and see reality—’What IS?’ The reality is that kids can do a whole lot more on their own than our culture gives them credit for. Their newfound independence will make your heart soar!”
Previously, Bored Panda spoke about parenting with blogger Samantha Scroggin, the founder of Walking Outside in Slippers. She explained to us that it’s vital that parents see their children as individuals. That means recognizing their own unique needs and giving them room to grow.
What’s more, it’s important to keep in mind that not all parenting advice is universal: what works for one family might not work for someone else’s kids.
My sister is a freshman in college, and her roommate has an absolute psycho helicopter mom. They're both on the cross country team and very good students. My sister said the roommate never drinks or goes out, but her mom tracks her through phone GPS and will text her constantly asking why she's at such and such place.
My sister said one time they were at Wal-Mart getting groceries, and her mom called her to ask why she was at Wal-Mart at 9pm. Another time, they drove to my other sister's (she lives in the same town) apartment to pick something up and the girl's mom called and starts yelling and asking why she's been sitting in a parking lot for 20 minutes. My sister said she'll constantly have to send pictures of them at the library to her to prove they're actually studying.
I just don't get that kind of smothering of your kid. I mean, if you want to check up on what they're doing then fine... especially if you're paying the bills, but dang, the poor girl can't even have a normal college experience and is constantly worried about upsetting her mom. It just all seems so unhealthy to me. I mean I had friends' parents who did that in high school, but once they're adults in college, you really have to cut the cord.
If she's a college freshman, she's an adult. I'd ditch the GPS tracking app.
While working at new student orientation in college, I was told a story from a previous year. The parents who attended orientation were housed separately from the students. One mom wanted to stay with her daughter and took the bed of another student. The mom told the student she can find somewhere else to sleep.
The student, not knowing what to do, ended up sleeping in a chair in the common area of the dorm.
My mom. When my mom and brother came to visit me in the city I I lived in at that time, in we went to a building that is a tourist attraction. She's already been there so she stayed down in some coffee shop while me and my brother went in to go to the top.
There was a really big line and while we were waiting he was telling me of all the times she'd go crazy because I would miss to reply to her for one day or so. We were joking that considering how long the whole tour of the building was taking, she'd probably already be talking to cops. When we got out, there she was, talking to a cop.
Because someone probably kidnapped two adults in a crowded building packed with security and tourists.
“I am trying to do more to meet my kids where they’re at, figuring in their personality and what their needs are for them personally. In the past, I would sometimes assume that I knew what was best for my kids, based on what the ‘average’ kid ‘should’ need or want. But kids can be so different, even within the same family,” the parenting blogger told Bored Panda during a previous interview.
A guy I know is 23. He has two moms. Adopted.
I'm not sure which mom is worse. One of them runs all his social media accounts. We would get messages from him that just sounded weird. When asked, he would have no idea what he said. He has a cell phone that can only call his parents and 911. Not allowed to drive. Anytime he goes somewhere new, his mom tags a long for a few hours to "check things out." He's only allowed to eat at certain restaurants, has to check in with his moms constantly.
He doesn't see any issue with this... I almost think its a form of abuse. He is not an independent thinker... he relies on everyone else to make decisions for him. Smart kid too.
It is abuse, and sadly those who have known it their lives often don't realise that it is. One of my old flatmates was being financially abused and he never saw issue or saw it as abuse, he even claimed that it was good for his mother and step father to control his finances because they had convinced him that autistic people like him were unable to control their impulses and that extended to spending. So sad.
yup my ex did this to me. wanted 100% oversight of my finances. guess waht, now I am no longer with her I am 100% climbing out of debt. oops.
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It is abuse. The problem for the guy, as I found out myself under different circumstances, is that this is all he knows, so doesn't see the abuse. I was almost that age when I realised that not every household had almost nightly screaming matches, violence and threats of violence.
Bless your heart! I hope you are healthy, and FREE, now and not living in that horribly, abuse situation!
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I worked at a science museum that had hands on for kids.
The aim of the game was for the child to solve a problem by themselves. Like "can you get x to do y", they make something, test it, and figure out how to make it better.
One day a woman comes in, practically dragging her five year old son. She sits him down beside me and starts poking me on the shoulder and I'm talking to another family.
"Tell my son what to do," she says, standing over him. I tell the family to hold on a sec, as I explain the challenge to the newcomer. The whole point is to work autonomously, so it was alright, and I was used to working with a few rude/pushy parents so I wasn't surprised. I tell the kid the prompt, tell him he had a wide range of materials...
But no. The woman wants me to tell him every step of the process. "Tell him the answer! Tell him the answer!" she says repeatedly, grabbing his hands to make him fold paper, or reaching for my own.
I start getting mad. "Ma'am, the goal here is to learn the scientific method. Make a hypothesis, test it, make conclusions and try again."
"But you already KNOW the answer," she says, "tell my son! Or I'm calling your manager!"
I don't even have a manager. In the mean time, the poor kid is looking so embarrassed. Ever time he tries to start something for himself, his mom reaches for his hands and tells him to wait for me to tell him what to do. The woman was so afraid of him failing when the whole point was to learn from one's mistakes. I'm so worried about how he'll deal with mistakes growing up, with her around.
He will simply stop trying to even do the task. If you don't try you can't fail. Or he will get frustrated, move out as young as possible and never speak to her again
I'm 18. My parents make me have an app that tracks location and speed in vehicles and such. I'm also in college about 3 hours away from home.
One night at around 8 pm I decided I was going to go get some pictures at the lake literally across the street from campus, less than a 2 minute walk. The second my foot hits the other side of the street I get a text from my mom asking me what I'm doing. Stuff like this happens all the time. Cool! so not weird at all to know that you were watching my location at that exact moment!
Things like this are the reason I have really bad anxiety.
So now I just spoof my location 24/7 because it's really unnecessary to ask me where I'm going or what I'm doing every time I leave my room.
“My 6-year-old daughter, for example, is very organized and a bit of a perfectionist. She also needs lots of attention and affection. While my 10-year-old son is a sometimes wild but also very sensitive and artistic soul. He needs his space. They are night and day,” Samantha shared a bit about her children.
“I have learned I need to adapt my expectations of them and goals for them based on their individual personalities and quirks. I can create space for them to be who they are, and I believe this acceptance and customized attention will benefit them in the long run as they develop into teens and then adults.”
Tales from the classroom:
1. That time a parent argued with me when their child cheated because I didn't specifically say that copying homework was cheating.
2. That time the parent clearly wrote the entire essay for her child.
Parents, let your kids fail and learn.
My sister was friends with this girl in middle school whose mom would put her tampons in for her because she was worried she wouldn't do it right. Tampons, not pads, not that pads would have been normal either.
My aunt will not let her children play outside because they might get bitten by mosquitoes. Consequentially, they're 12 and 13 and don't know how to ride a bike.
Ugh.
I worked at a small community library. A kid lived in the building across the parking lot from the library. He would leave his building, walked the ~150 feet to the front door of the library, come to the desk and use the courtesy phone to call and report to his mom that he got to the library safely.
I remember the day that he didn't do this, she came flying into the library like 5 minutes later FREAKING OUT that her son had been kidnapped and we needed to find him.
My dad won't even let me walk my dog and whenever we pass another dog while we are going on a walk, he tells me and my brother to get behind him
Was moving in freshmen to the dorms (if you agreed to move the newbies you got to move in 3 days early and beat the rush)
Man approaches me "is this a co-ed dorm?"
"yes..."
"I asked for my daughter to be in the all female dorm"
"Oh i understand sir, that's actually right across the breezeway. Usually it's in Building X but X is being renovated so they moved it here. That entire wing is only female"
"But she could walk over here and it would be coed"
"...well yes sir, she could walk anywhere she wanted to"
".................I'll tell her she's not allowed to walk this way"
A 13 yo kid down the street. His mom, dad, and grandma were always with him. ALWAYS he had NEVER been away from them even when they have a nanny to watch him one of them was there. The kid was never on his own for anything and the creepiest thing I saw them do? We had them to a party in the park and when the 13 yo asked for a hot dog the mom FREAKED out(not because it was a hot dog, some parents have dietary restrictions) because I served them whole! She took the hot dog from his hand and cut it for him in little baby bites(like I would do for my 1year old at the time) Then handed it back to him like she saved his life. Let me get this straight he was a normal teen with no mental impediments. The dad took him to the bathroom with a gallon of sanitizer and baby wipes and make "sure" the by washed his hands.
These people hold regular jobs one is a lawyer, one admin at our local hospital and the grams was an exec with the state attorney. They were from the Bay Area which we have a LOT of transplants from but they seem to have taken it to the next level helicoptering weirdness.
My first room mate in college had a helicopter mom whose helicoptering bordered on abuse:
1. He was born deaf, she never allowed him to learn sign language because she would 'always be there to protect him' and 'he needs to live a normal life, not a deaf life' (her words, not mine.) He was pretty good at lip reading, and could vocalize remarkably well given how profound his hearing loss was.
2. She pulled me aside and very seriously asked me to inform her any time he talked to a girl, she said he has 'problems' with girls trying to take advantage of him.
3. Insisted he say good night to her every night, which meant he had to be on instant messenger (deaf, so he couldn't call without using a specialized typing phone) with her for at least an hour every night or else she'd call our room phone in a panic looking for him.
My mother got me kicked out of the Army after learning I was going into a role where I might see combat. Cavalry Scout ( 19-D ). She contacted two Senators, worked her way through the chain of command until she got to my CO and apparently pissed off my CO to the point where I received "special attention". I spent 3 months in the reception battalion ( first stop before boot camp ) in a LOS vest ( Line of Sight, was pink with reflective tape and generally reserved for flight risks and suicidal people ). After a 15 minute visit with one of the psychologists, I was deemed to have Major Depressive Disorder and received an Entry Level Separation discharge. On the last day, my CO went through my paperwork, found my DD-214 and ripped it up so I couldn't reenter the military. I come from a family who's served continuously in the military for 5 generations until me. I was 18 at the time.
This is so sad. Really feel sorry for this person. Destroying your child's dreams and ambitions is cruel and wicked.
A few years ago we were hiring for an entry level help desk position. A nice kid came in with his mom. I very politely offered her something to drink, and a place she could sit. She was NOT invited to the interview itself. This lady started to get very aggressive about being in the room, and the poor kid was getting embarrassed. My final answer was that he was no longer being considered for the position, and she lost it. Our receptionist called the police, and they were there within a minute. She called down a little when the police arrived, almost as if she had been through this before. They nicely escorted her off the property, and luckily we never heard from her again.
Fifth grade overnight trip to nature center. A kid's mom went (was only parent that wasn't a teacher to go) and had a complete meltdown when she was told that her kid would be sleeping in a cabin with other kids and not her... She was told this before [the] trip as well. Four teachers per cabin, basically overnight school. She basically spent the entire night outside watching the cabin, really creeped everyone out...
Man, the rants she went on [on] Facebook... at least her friends and family called her out on her nonsense. [I] imagine quite a few people got blocked that day.
The entire point of camping is that you are away from your parents and spending time away in a free environment. The only time I've seen kids be with their parent(s) constantly during camping is if they are special needs kids and can't do basic takes by themselves (eating, using the restroom, medications, etc). I do remember one parent when I was at a camp when I was little just parking their huge truck (a very nice silver Toyota) where the buses would come in and just watch their kid do everything. I even remember her intervening a couple of times when we set up to play ground hockey or when we went to play soccer. The poor kid always looked like he'd rather be buried alive than sit through his mother tell the counselors off.
My stepmom brushes my brothers' teeth. they're 14 and 12.
They need to learn to do it, and the mom needs to let them be independent
Ooh I've got one. My mom is a nurse at an elementary school. She has a student who is allergic to a lot of stuff, so it would be understandable if his parents were a bit cautious. His parents, however, are absolutely awful and overprotective. His mother will remove him from any activity that causes him even the slightest anxiety. They give him literally anything he wants in the world, and don't make him do anything, to the extent that he believes he doesn't have to do any schoolwork whatsoever, and tells his teachers that someone will just give him a job when the time comes. He's a fifth grader with no actual credit for the grades he's already gone through. He's been dropped by three therapists, because his mother makes it impossible for any therapist to get anything done with him, because he obviously has mental health issues. His mom routinely lies about the reasons the kid isn't in school, but doesn't let the kid in on the lies, so he inadvertently exposes his mother on a liar on a weekly basis. The kid is almost 11 and has very few of the skills that a kid his age should have. The school system has essentially given up on this family.
My guess is the kid almost died a couple of times and this is the reaction. I went to school with a boy whose younger sister had leukemia and this is what her parents did. She recovered from the disease but was never a really functional person and he was forced to give up things to her all the time
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These are very sad. So many of the parents are robbing their children of self confidence and the ability to grow as people, and are replacing their potential with fear. (And yes, as NsG points out, entitlement.)
Helicopter parenting is creating a generation of insecure, co-dependent, chicken-hearted, marshmallow-livered Milquetoasts who soil their pants upon seeing their own shadows. Children need their independence. They need to experience failure and disappointment, to make mistakes so they can learn from them. I was fortunate to be a "free-range" child. My father gave me greater freedom as I matured and demonstrated self-control and responsibility.
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Once I worked with this client, the client was a small child. It was a guardian ad litem case in which the court appoints a guardian lawyer for a minor child. I had a list of questions to ask the child and the mother would absolutely not leave me alone. She wanted to sit in, she wanted to answer and finally I went and got the attorney who immediately removed her from the room. By the way, this was a Munchhausen by proxy case.
I stopped. Too many fall under "abuse", and, yes, it's abuse if the parent fosters unhealthy codependency, controls a child to that extent, etc., b/c it's not parenting ------ it's hostage-taking.
None of this can be described using the term "parenting." Your job as a parent is to teach your children to handle life as an adult without you, not to be there every second to do things for them.
For sure, Nikki. You hit the nail square on the head! None of these abuses fall under any type of "parenting". Straight up, horrific abuses on a deep, psychological level! They should burn in hell for the damage they are inflicting upon these innocent children!!
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My boss had a 13 year old son that was not allowed to take the school bus because it was too dangerous. He was grounded for 3 months for reading Harry Potter. He is not allowed to stay home if they go to the store, he must go everywhere with them. He was also not allowed to go to other people houses without parental supervision even if his friends had an older sibling around to watch. Issue came up that their one baby sitter went to college and all the available, local babysitters were all around his age and they couldn't find a babysitter that was over 16, which the mother wouldn't let her son be with a girl alone that was near his age. My boss would also spend hours and hours calling in favors and begging people to hire his wife, and this was on a 6 month cycle because every job she ever had was terrible and she couldn't continue to work there. In the mean time he is burning bridges with every department. They both had PhDs. It was insane.
Hard reality these parents (at least the ones that don't rise to outright abuse - which is several) need to understand: Being controlling and snooping and not giving your kids any privacy or autonomy doesn't make them safer or less likely to be in trouble or better prepared for life - it just forces them to be better at hiding s**t from your overbearing intrusions (and makes it more likely in their adulthood, you'll only see them at the holidays and otherwise be cut off entirely).
There's a disproportionate amount of women (mothers) on this list... And I can name 5 women in my life who have tried everything they could to destroy my life. Funny thing, it's never the men that have had a problem with me. I wonder if the fact that I'm also a woman might have anything to do with it? Are men this crazy when dealing with other men?
The men(dads)are usually violent ones They're the ones that disproportionately physically hurt the kids, sexually assault them and kill them.
Load More Replies... A lot of these aren't "helicopter parenting," they are just straight up abuse.
Helicopter parenting is not competent parenting nor is it "just out of love." They often deprive their kids of experiences they had themselves and deprive them of opportunities the kid's peers are having. It is done semi deliberately to keep the kid dependent and attached and to deprive them of life skills and wave the "look what I've done for you" for the rest of your life. When the parents work had and have good money they will tell you you had nothing to complain about because you wanted for nothing. They think they're such good parents because they never gave a curfew. If you blow up the phone ever 30 minutes, and never let kids go out, there's no need for a curfew is there? My parents would send my sister to an event to pull me out, say they were flying over if I didn't text back at midnight if I went to sleep, gave me money for savings so I'd be able to get my drivers license but the day I got it they forbade me from driving the car so I would never truly learn and be Mobile
My mother called me a wh*re and treated dme that way and every other name in the same semantic field when I was a virgin for years, she went to q University appointment with her other daughter, she enrolled as a mature student at the same university I went to, the Prof was rude to them because of it but now I see his point. when we lived jn the country side there was a bus that took you to thr city and when I wanted to walk to the bus she would say "I'll take you" and deliberately miss the bus and just wash over my complaints "I'll take you to the next one!!! I'll just drive you to the city!" And the list goes on and on and on. When you finally start making your own money you realise you don't have to live under some one else's twisted logic no matter how much they harass you, they try and tell you you've become a princess just because you're working. These parents never nrver have good relationships with their adult children. It's usually never good or bad but just stony silence.
Load More Replies... Yep. The moms are Karens, the dads are Karen's husband and the kid is screwed.
I was just going to say, do you want karens? because that's how you get karens. [*with apologies to anyone who happens to have that name and not fit the stereotype which is just a meme which will probably blow over in a few years and does not apply to all persons named karen but is just a shorthand for this kind of behaviour.]
Karen's used to pertain to the racist can I speak to the manager honor my expired coupon kind of woman. Now it's being said about any woman that has a complaint or sticks up for themselves. I've been asked if my name is Karen numerous times when I criticize trump supporters or disagree w people in general but yes entitlement is bred through ignorance for sure. No my name is not Karen lol
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When i was 23 i was very much in love with a man of another race. We had plans to get married. My mother called his mother and told her i was mentally unstable and she should try to convince her son to break up with me. Neither mother was thrilled about the fact we were different races. We continued to be together despite the opposition however when my mother knew that wasn't working she accused him of being a pedophile. I had a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Of course this was the last straw and we broke up. We are still what i would call close friends twelve years later but nothing romantic.
At age 21 I moved provinces to attend university at a big city. My mother basically sat on messenger all day every day just to see when I signed it. Every. Single. Time. Where are you? Why are you not at home? My family had an absolute meltdown when I announced I was deleting my Facebook account. 2 years ago my hubby accepted a great new job in my hometown, the house we had set up wasn't ready for a while so we were in my parents finished basement. Because of my old job I was used to a very late schedule and had trouble. So I did what I used to do: took my dog for a walk at 1am. I had been out for 20 minutes when my phone exploded with phone calls and messages. My dad had gone downstairs to check on me (hubby was at work), saw I wasn't thee and proceeded to go out looking for me and called everyone he knew. I was 33 and had lived in a large city for over 10 years! I had been on vacations in foreign countries!!!
This kind of behavior before I left home is why I jumped at the first opportunity to get away. It took me years to find who I am as a person, to learn how to do anything, like cooking and cleaning, to find any sort of confidence. When I moved back to my hometown I had regulations they had to follow and they haven't followed any of them. I recently discovered my dad drives by the house daily to see evidence of me being home. As if my overprotective psycho dog doesn't bark at any noise she hears.
Load More Replies... And remember, folks: These kids are going to be the people charged with your care in your old age! That's a nightmare to think about, isn't it?
To my "Panda Family", please forgive my outburst! I was just sooo angry and filled with uncomfortable outrage at the stories you all are sharing. I do sincerely apologize!
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These are very sad. So many of the parents are robbing their children of self confidence and the ability to grow as people, and are replacing their potential with fear. (And yes, as NsG points out, entitlement.)
Helicopter parenting is creating a generation of insecure, co-dependent, chicken-hearted, marshmallow-livered Milquetoasts who soil their pants upon seeing their own shadows. Children need their independence. They need to experience failure and disappointment, to make mistakes so they can learn from them. I was fortunate to be a "free-range" child. My father gave me greater freedom as I matured and demonstrated self-control and responsibility.
Load More Replies... Once I worked with this client, the client was a small child. It was a guardian ad litem case in which the court appoints a guardian lawyer for a minor child. I had a list of questions to ask the child and the mother would absolutely not leave me alone. She wanted to sit in, she wanted to answer and finally I went and got the attorney who immediately removed her from the room. By the way, this was a Munchhausen by proxy case.
I stopped. Too many fall under "abuse", and, yes, it's abuse if the parent fosters unhealthy codependency, controls a child to that extent, etc., b/c it's not parenting ------ it's hostage-taking.
None of this can be described using the term "parenting." Your job as a parent is to teach your children to handle life as an adult without you, not to be there every second to do things for them.
For sure, Nikki. You hit the nail square on the head! None of these abuses fall under any type of "parenting". Straight up, horrific abuses on a deep, psychological level! They should burn in hell for the damage they are inflicting upon these innocent children!!
Load More Replies... My boss had a 13 year old son that was not allowed to take the school bus because it was too dangerous. He was grounded for 3 months for reading Harry Potter. He is not allowed to stay home if they go to the store, he must go everywhere with them. He was also not allowed to go to other people houses without parental supervision even if his friends had an older sibling around to watch. Issue came up that their one baby sitter went to college and all the available, local babysitters were all around his age and they couldn't find a babysitter that was over 16, which the mother wouldn't let her son be with a girl alone that was near his age. My boss would also spend hours and hours calling in favors and begging people to hire his wife, and this was on a 6 month cycle because every job she ever had was terrible and she couldn't continue to work there. In the mean time he is burning bridges with every department. They both had PhDs. It was insane.
Hard reality these parents (at least the ones that don't rise to outright abuse - which is several) need to understand: Being controlling and snooping and not giving your kids any privacy or autonomy doesn't make them safer or less likely to be in trouble or better prepared for life - it just forces them to be better at hiding s**t from your overbearing intrusions (and makes it more likely in their adulthood, you'll only see them at the holidays and otherwise be cut off entirely).
There's a disproportionate amount of women (mothers) on this list... And I can name 5 women in my life who have tried everything they could to destroy my life. Funny thing, it's never the men that have had a problem with me. I wonder if the fact that I'm also a woman might have anything to do with it? Are men this crazy when dealing with other men?
The men(dads)are usually violent ones They're the ones that disproportionately physically hurt the kids, sexually assault them and kill them.
Load More Replies... A lot of these aren't "helicopter parenting," they are just straight up abuse.
Helicopter parenting is not competent parenting nor is it "just out of love." They often deprive their kids of experiences they had themselves and deprive them of opportunities the kid's peers are having. It is done semi deliberately to keep the kid dependent and attached and to deprive them of life skills and wave the "look what I've done for you" for the rest of your life. When the parents work had and have good money they will tell you you had nothing to complain about because you wanted for nothing. They think they're such good parents because they never gave a curfew. If you blow up the phone ever 30 minutes, and never let kids go out, there's no need for a curfew is there? My parents would send my sister to an event to pull me out, say they were flying over if I didn't text back at midnight if I went to sleep, gave me money for savings so I'd be able to get my drivers license but the day I got it they forbade me from driving the car so I would never truly learn and be Mobile
My mother called me a wh*re and treated dme that way and every other name in the same semantic field when I was a virgin for years, she went to q University appointment with her other daughter, she enrolled as a mature student at the same university I went to, the Prof was rude to them because of it but now I see his point. when we lived jn the country side there was a bus that took you to thr city and when I wanted to walk to the bus she would say "I'll take you" and deliberately miss the bus and just wash over my complaints "I'll take you to the next one!!! I'll just drive you to the city!" And the list goes on and on and on. When you finally start making your own money you realise you don't have to live under some one else's twisted logic no matter how much they harass you, they try and tell you you've become a princess just because you're working. These parents never nrver have good relationships with their adult children. It's usually never good or bad but just stony silence.
Load More Replies... Yep. The moms are Karens, the dads are Karen's husband and the kid is screwed.
I was just going to say, do you want karens? because that's how you get karens. [*with apologies to anyone who happens to have that name and not fit the stereotype which is just a meme which will probably blow over in a few years and does not apply to all persons named karen but is just a shorthand for this kind of behaviour.]
Karen's used to pertain to the racist can I speak to the manager honor my expired coupon kind of woman. Now it's being said about any woman that has a complaint or sticks up for themselves. I've been asked if my name is Karen numerous times when I criticize trump supporters or disagree w people in general but yes entitlement is bred through ignorance for sure. No my name is not Karen lol
Load More Replies... When i was 23 i was very much in love with a man of another race. We had plans to get married. My mother called his mother and told her i was mentally unstable and she should try to convince her son to break up with me. Neither mother was thrilled about the fact we were different races. We continued to be together despite the opposition however when my mother knew that wasn't working she accused him of being a pedophile. I had a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Of course this was the last straw and we broke up. We are still what i would call close friends twelve years later but nothing romantic.
At age 21 I moved provinces to attend university at a big city. My mother basically sat on messenger all day every day just to see when I signed it. Every. Single. Time. Where are you? Why are you not at home? My family had an absolute meltdown when I announced I was deleting my Facebook account. 2 years ago my hubby accepted a great new job in my hometown, the house we had set up wasn't ready for a while so we were in my parents finished basement. Because of my old job I was used to a very late schedule and had trouble. So I did what I used to do: took my dog for a walk at 1am. I had been out for 20 minutes when my phone exploded with phone calls and messages. My dad had gone downstairs to check on me (hubby was at work), saw I wasn't thee and proceeded to go out looking for me and called everyone he knew. I was 33 and had lived in a large city for over 10 years! I had been on vacations in foreign countries!!!
This kind of behavior before I left home is why I jumped at the first opportunity to get away. It took me years to find who I am as a person, to learn how to do anything, like cooking and cleaning, to find any sort of confidence. When I moved back to my hometown I had regulations they had to follow and they haven't followed any of them. I recently discovered my dad drives by the house daily to see evidence of me being home. As if my overprotective psycho dog doesn't bark at any noise she hears.
Load More Replies... And remember, folks: These kids are going to be the people charged with your care in your old age! That's a nightmare to think about, isn't it?
To my "Panda Family", please forgive my outburst! I was just sooo angry and filled with uncomfortable outrage at the stories you all are sharing. I do sincerely apologize!
Load More Replies... 