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Women Are Calling Out 40 “Female Experiences” That Have Been Normalized By Society But Are In Fact Really Messed Up
Few things in our society ever get questioned. We get caught in its cogwheels in such a way that we don’t realize that our expectations, attitudes, and ideas about how things should be get distorted.
And when it comes to women, unwanted things and unpleasant experiences they have to go through are often so normalized, nobody makes a big deal out of it. You stop for a sec and wonder ‘how on earth did this happen?’
This exact discussion was sparked when one redditor asked women on Ask Reddit “What is something that women experience and is seen as 'normal' but is actually very wrong, and shouldn’t be as accepted as it is?” As you can imagine, women had a lot to say in that department and the responses started flowing in. Let’s see some of the most eye-opening ones right below.
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Being expected to be nice when a man is overstepping your boundaries. As soon as we express any discomfort we're made to feel we should be nice to them. Eg: it was only banter, lighten up, that sort of thing.
Downplaying how horrible periods can be. I've seen so many men act like women are being babies on their period and it's just enraging.
Wouldnt it be great if all men in the world had a day were they were on a period and could see how it feels?
No.
That's it.
The word no.
When a guy says no it's not usually questioned, they don't have to go into a long detailing as to why.
When a woman says no to pretty much anything they're either asked or they feel compelled to have to explain why their answer is no.
No is a complete sentence.
Dressing little girls in a way that makes it difficult for them to move around. Your 4-year-old should not miss out on valuable play because she doesn't want to mess up her clothes or hair. Her appearance should be the last freaking thing on her mind. It makes me so angry to see little girls having to sit on the sidelines while their brothers and male cousins play rambunctiously because their parents put them in a dress and expensive shoes.
Pressure to have kids. Lectures and being guilted if you don't want to. The weird idea some people push that motherhood needs to be the center of our lives.
Medical discrimination. Not believing woman’s pain or symptoms or saying they are completely related to your monthly cycle/hormones.
And thinking of woman primarily by their reproductive capacity. Yes, doctor I came in for this rash but sure let’s answer your question on family planning and my birth control options.
Woman: has incredibly large rash all over her body Woman: *happens to be on period* Doctor: coincidence? I think not!
"When a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you..."
JUST NO!!! Anyone that truly loves you will not hurt you mentally, physically, or verbally. EVER!!! They tell you this when you're young to prepare your for a dirtbag husband in the future and some women never get the common sense to see that it's actually a bully!
I know way too many women who think it's normal to have to do most of the housework and childcare, plus the mental and emotional load of household management, even if they also have an outside job. Also to manage their husbands as if they are children who can't be expected to remember to make appointments or buy their own clothes or things for the children or holidays or take care of menial tasks without reminders and help.
Women DO the housework and childcare while men HELP. This approach needs to change :/
Being expected to let men have sex with them but also shaming any woman who also shows a modicum of Libido. It's almost like society wants women to have sex but hate it at the same time and it's gross
In public spaces, when men put their hands on you so they can pass by. It's common in clubs and bars, but happens elsewhere, too. Funny thing is, a guy can't get past you without putting his hands on your waist. But, he can navigate a wall of men totally touch free. So creepy and intrusive
Spaghetti strap tanktops on a hot summer day being "provocative".... And the high school dress code
Agree with the spaghetti strap comment but also agree with having a basic dress code at high schools
I find it a bit insulting when you see a picture of a woman who is really pretty and you find out that she’s a top scientist or engineer or a doctor, something very prestigious, and a person says “ Wow, She’s pretty, I wasn’t expecting that!” What, like are smart people usually butt ugly? pretty girls can’t be smart? Wtf! I feel like that’s really common and needs to end.
My 14 year old daughter pointed out today how often my dad interrupts me. I hadn’t even noticed. She said, “yeah - all the men in our family interrupt and talk over you except dad.”
'I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?'.
The amount of sexual abuse and harassment that is rampant in our society. Most women I know started being harassed by men when they were elementary school students, and that is seen as normal.
Sexual harassment of women, ESPECIALLY young girls, isn't seen as normal. It of course happens which is atrocious and should absolutely be stopped but only sexual predators think it's "normal."
As a child boys pulling your skirt up.
Periods like they are something we should be ashamed of and not talk about.
When talking a rape, women are told things they should not do and things are directed at they are to blame for anything and everything that happens.
Being talked over.
You either talk too much or not enough.
Being sexualized at any age. Looking at you beauty pageants.
When you prove a man wrong, somehow you are villain because you hurt his pride.
beauty pageants are a total menace, not only are children forced into performing when they don't want to but their bodies are also sexualised in totally disgusting ways
Men hitting on you after you’ve made it clear you’re not interested but stopping immediately if they find out you have a boyfriend, so you must “belong” to another man.
Or saying that you must be a lesbian because you are not interested in them.
The fear of expressing too much comfort around male friends who might see it as a sexual opportunity. Too many of us experience this
Men pushing boundaries without consent during sex. "Accidentally" putting it in the wrong hole. Strangling. Hitting. Abusive misogynistic language. Pretty much every woman I know has had a man do these things out of nowhere towards them and they are supposed to accept it because it's "kinky" or something. And now it's literally 15 years old girls who are dealing with this trauma because of p*rn normalizing it as something boys are supposed to do to women, its completely disgusting
Not getting the help from doctors that we need to survive. A woman in my country died from cancer that was related to her undiagnosed endometriosis, but for years doctors just thought they were 'bad periods'.
This. It took me 10 years to get my endometriosis and adenomyosis diagnosed and another one to get surgery (and it went terrible due to a sexist doctor). By the time I got treated the endo wasnso bad that it was basically too late to help. I cannot work or have a normal life anymore because of all the doctors that ignored me or put my fertility as a bigger priority than my health
The expectation that women should wear makeup to be seen as professionals.
Aging isn’t allowed. It is the norm for men to grow older and look it but women are constantly pressured to look young.
Being firm often leads to a woman being branded as demanding.
Women having to come up with safe and clever ways to reject a man’s advances instead of being able to give a simple no and have it being respected.
Being a firmly committed single woman, sometimes I dread having to explain the whole "yes, I'm single, no, I'm not looking for a mate" conversation. I used to lie and say I was married or had a boyfriend, but many times they took it as a challenge.
Catcalling, it's gross and degrading.
I absolutely hate this. Not only that it makes us extremely self conscious, it is also considered sexual harassment.
Being with giant manbabies who do not know how to act like adults.
Ladies it is not normal to be with someone who argues with you, never cleans up after himself and expects you to do all of the housework.
Well we don't have to stay with them, at least. And we can teach them otherwise if they are willing to learn. Sad we have to think like that though.
Not being able to walk down the street at night with headphones on without carrying your keys as a weapon.
Not being able to walk down the street at night ALONE without carrying your keys as a weapon
The amount of money we have to pay for menstrual products. I remember being a poor university student having to use rolled up toilet paper because I couldn't afford pads or tampons, and menstrual cups were not a thing back then. $12 for a box of tampons doesn't seem like much, until you're living off KD, ramen, and rice, then it becomes a luxury.
The fact that women die of reproductive cancers more often than men because our pain and symptoms aren't taken seriously. So many health women lose their lives because their pain and suffering is considered normal, are told that what they're experiencing isn't bad because women are meant to experience pain and dysfunction.
It. Is. Infuriating. Periods are not a way to shove aside real problems. If something is wrong, it is the doctors job to take it seriously. No. Matter. What.
Telling me to smile when I don't f**king want to. But when I was younger I did out of discomfort.
Agreed, this is just so weird. You’re so pretty when you smile...
One thing I have dreaded since beginning. Like it was the first thing that caught my eye as a sign of normalised discrimination, was.. Whenever a guest arrived at my place. I or my sister was supposed to make tea or prepare some snacks. But my brothers played outside. I hated it so much.
Same. I hate the whole 'girls in the kitchen' expectation. I'm in there so my mother isn't doing all the work, but f**k it. My dad should know how to make something in the kitchen other than alcoholic beverages for hosting.
Inappropriate behavior from men, especially from a young age. If a boy hits a little girl he “just likes her”. That little boy grows up thinking there’s no repercussion for violence, and keeps hitting women. The cycle just goes on.
Birth control. Side effects and horrible horrible possible risks
I mean, the complete double standards we have for women as mothers as opposed to fathers. There’s a lot to be said but for example, we tell moms it’s normal to sacrifice damn near you’re whole entire body/career/hobbies/life for the kids but men are somehow not held to the same standard? Idk if I’m explaining well, I’m a tired mom.
I must be missing something. Because when I became a father I sacrificed everything for my children. Anything that I wanted to pursue that didn't involve a little girl was off the table.
That people think they have the right to comment on how a woman looks or what she is wearing. There have been way too many times where someone feels they need to point out my 'physical flaws' just because. For example: acne, dark circles under my eyes, body/facial hair, paleness, etc.
Being lectured in public by a total stranger for my ''sloppy'' clothes while I was on my way to work on a stage set.
The constant picking apart of womens appearance by basically everyone and holding women to insane beauty standards (extensions, false lashes, makeup, drawn on eyebrows, contouring tricks to change your face, dye your hair, dress sexy, don't dress too sexy, wax your privates, dye your hair, stay in shape, have a big butt, tiny waist, push up bras, get fake nails, on and on and freakin on)
When I was teenager everyone was impressed with my huge eyelashes ("Are they real?!"). Now every girl has bigger fake lashes so it's not a big deal :(
My eyelashes are really long too but not as long as fake ones, so at least nobody thinks I'm wearing fake ones.
Load More Replies... But the question is WHO are you trying to impress by doing all of that and WHY do you care what they think? If you are doing it to attract men, then you may want to ask yourself, if the men you attract are interested in having you do all of that, then is that they type of guy you really want. Wouldn't it be better to do what makes you happy and then find a guy that likes you for who you truly are?
When I see those contouring videos I always wonder what their romantic partners will think "the morning after" when all that crap layered on their faces comes off.
i feel that way about shapewear, like, sure you look perfect with your clothes on but what happens at home when gravity takes over again? i don't understand it at all.
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"by basically everyone" - I'm glad that was included because besides the obvious men, I think women also do this to other women.
Women seem to do all of this to impress other women. As a guy, I'm telling you that most of us don't like the majority of this crap. Your fake nails, lashes, extensions, drawn on eyebrows, etc etc are pretty ridiculous from a guy's point of view. A girl rockin' her pajamas with a messy bun is way more appealing than this costume of makeup and fakeness that women dress up in.
You can put alot of blame on the infuencers today for that. Today's body morphology is the worse its been in my life time and I'm 71. It truly sucks.
Definitely! I have a friend who sells fake eyelashes and they look SO corny.
And in every cartoon every girl has fair skin and blond hair. Yet boys are different, why?
This only works if you let it. We reinforce this delusion by buying into it. Don't.
When I was growing up small bums were desirable. Now fake big ones are. The ‘ideal’ will change yet again and some women will go under the knife to fit in with what men and women’s fashion magazines present as the ideal.
"Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’." -Erin McKean. One of my favorite quotes ever.
Amen to that! Can't we just love & accept ourselves a little bit more?
Omfg this. Look pretty, not that pretty, thinner, too thin- look more feminine, not feminine enough. "Geeeee your entire outfit is perfect but under a microscope you have one tiny thing out of place so it's just no good." Or, "geee I don't see any flaws- I hate you so much."
Absolutely true, and it becomes truer as we get older. Men become more accepting of women as individuals with all their individual variations, and women become more determined to retain the beauty of their youth. Women police other women's appearance. Men have very little to do with it, except perhaps in some social circles - I'm assuming this because I haven't seen it myself in all my years. It's time women stopped judging other women by their looks.
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Easier said than done when it's ingrained and constant
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Yes Dillion we know you're a victim. You keep telling women what a victim you are even though you tell us how much you've abused women. We get it. You feel victimized by every women that's ever said no to you. We get it. Poor guy can't dictate what a women does w her body how sad for you. Can't believe women have the audacity to say no to such a special guy.
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Being polite to creepy men. There are so many things that can go wrong and I've read too many stories of women being killed for not taking a guy's number
Basically you're f*cked if a creep takes an interest in you. If you say no, you should've given him a chance to show he was nice (so you had it coming). If you say yes, you accepted his advances and you should've known he was a threat (so you had it coming).
People speaking over them, and/or the inherent ‘brush off’ that “if a woman says it it needs to be verified somehow.”
"Man-splaining". My former boss tried to explain the industry specific accounting program I HAD CREATED to me. I was like, "Oh, really? OK. Show me how to run this report". And of course he said he didn't know how. I ran him through another few hurdles, just to make my point. And after conceding that he really didn't know how to do anything, I was like , "Really? Because I do. Wanna know why? I wrote the f*****g program".
The way pregnancy is treated like an illness. I feel like if men had to go through childbirth there would be more medical advancements in the field. Also, women’s childbirth injuries are often never treated seriously because the child is prioritized. Many never fully recover.
This is definitely a problem that varies across nations/regions. The biggest injury issues still ignored (IMHO) are pelvic floor damage that results in bladder/bowel dysfunction and pain,if not spinal nerve compression issues.
I’m in the UK, I love running but I pretty much can’t train past a few months as when my fiancé is home at 4:30pm it’s dark, I can’t run on our old railway path when it’s dark! It’s annoying but normal to me now, but for a man? Yep run on your own at 5pm no worries
Handy hint: get some workout gear clearly branded with a martial arts club. Even better, also go to the martial arts club. There was a wonderful story in the UK news a few years back of a young woman attacked by what turned out to be a serial rapist as she went through a (park, I think? It was a while back so can't remember the details). She was a trained martial artist and beat the s**t out of him. This is one negative aspect of being female we can change.
Note: this post originally had 107 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
The double standard that sexist men have for women. If we are career oriented they get angry because "feminism has ruined women" and complain about women not being at home anymore. But if you are a homemaker they call you lazy or a golddiger.
Maybe because I'm older now (it did take me a long time to learn), but I don't give a f what people think anymore. I do/say what I feel is right to me. Who cares about society or people I'll probably never meet again in my life or are simply not important enough to me. End of.
I remember being 16 overhearing girls in my class repeatedly bragging about their older boyfriends being so big and muscular. I even remember them talking about guys who were less bulky than their boyfriends (but bulkier than me) saying things like: "I hope for his sake he will grow a decent pair of shoulders one day. So he'll be more attractive." Needless to say being 1,80 metres (5,9 ft)and weighing in at less than 60 kilos (132 pounds) I had body issues as a teenager. Not that I want to p*ss all over this post downplaying womens issues. Judging people by their bodies is bad to do to both men and women. I'm just saying I know many men who have been dealing with these issues too. And this post, like many others, is framing men as perpetrators and women as victims while the truth is way more complex.
I agree, and I know other people will rag on you about your opinion and such, BUT! posts like these are supposed to bring awareness to women's issues, instead of downplaying them. Of course, as I was scrolling through, I had noticed that men had been displayed as rude, obnoxious instigators, when that is simply not the case. All men aren't like this, but some are, and that's the problem.
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Being expected to be the notetaker in work meetings. Older managers at my work always instruct women employees to be notetakers. Somehow, they never assign that task to the men -- even men in the exact same job as women. Oh, and if they ask for a volunteer to take notes, it's like all the men forgot their hands work. There's absolutely no reason that job should constantly fall on women.
Then it should be politely, but firmly pointed out that the manager is making assumptions. Chances are they don't even realise that they always ask women to take notes. Make them aware of their bias, and make it public. Suggest a suitable men to do the job instead. If you remain passive, you are failing to change anything.
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I am literally going to start counting the "women are victimised, men are bad" articles that appear on this website on a daily basis.
Once men start treating us properly this articles will disappear.
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The "girls can't play videogames" "girls can't play in the rain" "girls can't have fun just sit there being pretty" thing. It angered me so much as a child hearing that. let me get messy and muddy and happy like the boys.
You know what's normalised but shouldn't be? Men suffering silently. Being blamed. Always having to stay quiet because 'men don't get abused'. They may not get abused' as OFTEN but it is usually far WORSE. People just need to be open, and the listeners must be supportive and kind. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Absolutely. I had a friend whose girlfriend hit him on purpose with her flipping car, and if he'd been a woman, he'd have everyone he knew up in arms, the police come to the house and arrest him, etc. But with him, the doctors checked him out, police said forget about it, and no one else cared (except me). That is when I realized we need to stop talking about "abused women" and talk about "abused partners". Men get far less support in every way (emotional, financial, law, etc.) In my friend's case, it was made worse because he has very dark brown skin and the doctors said the bruises wouldn't really show in photos in order to make a case. So, couldn't the doctor simply testify to it??!! Also, there has to be some way to deal with that, right? Not just, "Well, we don't know how to prove injury on dark skin".
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I stopped reading at #43. It's so completely normal to experience any of this on a daily basis. Just frustrating.
I’ve complained twice about this specific git, yet no reply.
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Being a "Big, Beautiful Woman" and automatically being friend zoned. Like someone who is overweight doesn't want a romantic relationship, or the men are afraid their friends will make fun of them for dating a larger woman?
I’m going to be a little frivolous for a moment just to show how sexism can hit anyone, male or female. Two of my best friends were boys I’d grown up living near to. Guess which game I could not join them in? I knew very well why I couldn’t but they did quite get it. Some parents had some very awkward questions to field that day.
Or even better yet, anything that isn't about all white people being horrible or all Americans being horrible. You are clowns.
What does this article have to do with Americans? Sexism happens in every region of the world. What about forced marriage in places like India? Or the sexism that happens in the UK?
Load More Replies... Bored Panda. I hereby defy you to post any ad about men being mistreated by women.
How about an article where we discuss the double standards of society where it's assumed any list of "complaints by women" must be derogatory toward *men*, and any list of complaints by men must be derogatory toward women?
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Since I had a narcissist for a mother and grew up in the 50-60s where women didn't have a life, a lot of these existed 100 times worse than now. There was a boy who followed me home every day from school, with his male friends and shouted "fatty fatty 2 by 4" and sang "409" as my weight. My mom did nothing...saying maybe I was fat and deserved it. I had endometriosis and tumors on my uterus. I was in terrible pain from age 15, each month, but because a male doctor told her that someone my age couldn't be in that much pain, she labeled me a "crybaby" and "wanting attention". When I had a hysterectomy at age 50, I was in surgery for 3 extra hours and 2 extra surgeons were brought in to untangle the endometriosis around every organ in my body. The doctor came to me after surgery and said "the pain must have been unbearable, why didn't you talk to anyone?". I told him I did and my mother was sitting right there and just shrugged her shoulders and said " she was a liar all her life"
Not sure if this has been mentioned, because I haven't read all of the comments. It annoys me that it's ok for a 50 yo male marries a 20 yo woman, but if a 50 yo woman marries a 20 yo male it instantly becomes wrong.
Why can a woman not complain about anything without so many men jumping on the defensive. A lot of the problems discussed are perpetuated by women as well as men, so this is clearly not a ‘all men are jerks’ kind of post. Also of course some men are treated badly but that is not what this article was about. It’s like someone telling you their wife has just died and you respond with ‘well my great grandma died 8 years ago, so what?’.
The double standard that sexist men have for women. If we are career oriented they get angry because "feminism has ruined women" and complain about women not being at home anymore. But if you are a homemaker they call you lazy or a golddiger.
Maybe because I'm older now (it did take me a long time to learn), but I don't give a f what people think anymore. I do/say what I feel is right to me. Who cares about society or people I'll probably never meet again in my life or are simply not important enough to me. End of.
I remember being 16 overhearing girls in my class repeatedly bragging about their older boyfriends being so big and muscular. I even remember them talking about guys who were less bulky than their boyfriends (but bulkier than me) saying things like: "I hope for his sake he will grow a decent pair of shoulders one day. So he'll be more attractive." Needless to say being 1,80 metres (5,9 ft)and weighing in at less than 60 kilos (132 pounds) I had body issues as a teenager. Not that I want to p*ss all over this post downplaying womens issues. Judging people by their bodies is bad to do to both men and women. I'm just saying I know many men who have been dealing with these issues too. And this post, like many others, is framing men as perpetrators and women as victims while the truth is way more complex.
I agree, and I know other people will rag on you about your opinion and such, BUT! posts like these are supposed to bring awareness to women's issues, instead of downplaying them. Of course, as I was scrolling through, I had noticed that men had been displayed as rude, obnoxious instigators, when that is simply not the case. All men aren't like this, but some are, and that's the problem.
Load More Replies... Being expected to be the notetaker in work meetings. Older managers at my work always instruct women employees to be notetakers. Somehow, they never assign that task to the men -- even men in the exact same job as women. Oh, and if they ask for a volunteer to take notes, it's like all the men forgot their hands work. There's absolutely no reason that job should constantly fall on women.
Then it should be politely, but firmly pointed out that the manager is making assumptions. Chances are they don't even realise that they always ask women to take notes. Make them aware of their bias, and make it public. Suggest a suitable men to do the job instead. If you remain passive, you are failing to change anything.
Load More Replies... I am literally going to start counting the "women are victimised, men are bad" articles that appear on this website on a daily basis.
Once men start treating us properly this articles will disappear.
Load More Replies... The "girls can't play videogames" "girls can't play in the rain" "girls can't have fun just sit there being pretty" thing. It angered me so much as a child hearing that. let me get messy and muddy and happy like the boys.
You know what's normalised but shouldn't be? Men suffering silently. Being blamed. Always having to stay quiet because 'men don't get abused'. They may not get abused' as OFTEN but it is usually far WORSE. People just need to be open, and the listeners must be supportive and kind. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Absolutely. I had a friend whose girlfriend hit him on purpose with her flipping car, and if he'd been a woman, he'd have everyone he knew up in arms, the police come to the house and arrest him, etc. But with him, the doctors checked him out, police said forget about it, and no one else cared (except me). That is when I realized we need to stop talking about "abused women" and talk about "abused partners". Men get far less support in every way (emotional, financial, law, etc.) In my friend's case, it was made worse because he has very dark brown skin and the doctors said the bruises wouldn't really show in photos in order to make a case. So, couldn't the doctor simply testify to it??!! Also, there has to be some way to deal with that, right? Not just, "Well, we don't know how to prove injury on dark skin".
Load More Replies... I stopped reading at #43. It's so completely normal to experience any of this on a daily basis. Just frustrating.
I’ve complained twice about this specific git, yet no reply.
Load More Replies... Being a "Big, Beautiful Woman" and automatically being friend zoned. Like someone who is overweight doesn't want a romantic relationship, or the men are afraid their friends will make fun of them for dating a larger woman?
I’m going to be a little frivolous for a moment just to show how sexism can hit anyone, male or female. Two of my best friends were boys I’d grown up living near to. Guess which game I could not join them in? I knew very well why I couldn’t but they did quite get it. Some parents had some very awkward questions to field that day.
Or even better yet, anything that isn't about all white people being horrible or all Americans being horrible. You are clowns.
What does this article have to do with Americans? Sexism happens in every region of the world. What about forced marriage in places like India? Or the sexism that happens in the UK?
Load More Replies... Bored Panda. I hereby defy you to post any ad about men being mistreated by women.
How about an article where we discuss the double standards of society where it's assumed any list of "complaints by women" must be derogatory toward *men*, and any list of complaints by men must be derogatory toward women?
Load More Replies... Since I had a narcissist for a mother and grew up in the 50-60s where women didn't have a life, a lot of these existed 100 times worse than now. There was a boy who followed me home every day from school, with his male friends and shouted "fatty fatty 2 by 4" and sang "409" as my weight. My mom did nothing...saying maybe I was fat and deserved it. I had endometriosis and tumors on my uterus. I was in terrible pain from age 15, each month, but because a male doctor told her that someone my age couldn't be in that much pain, she labeled me a "crybaby" and "wanting attention". When I had a hysterectomy at age 50, I was in surgery for 3 extra hours and 2 extra surgeons were brought in to untangle the endometriosis around every organ in my body. The doctor came to me after surgery and said "the pain must have been unbearable, why didn't you talk to anyone?". I told him I did and my mother was sitting right there and just shrugged her shoulders and said " she was a liar all her life"
Not sure if this has been mentioned, because I haven't read all of the comments. It annoys me that it's ok for a 50 yo male marries a 20 yo woman, but if a 50 yo woman marries a 20 yo male it instantly becomes wrong.
Why can a woman not complain about anything without so many men jumping on the defensive. A lot of the problems discussed are perpetuated by women as well as men, so this is clearly not a ‘all men are jerks’ kind of post. Also of course some men are treated badly but that is not what this article was about. It’s like someone telling you their wife has just died and you respond with ‘well my great grandma died 8 years ago, so what?’.
