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“Always Play Along”: 40 Women Reveal The Strict Rules Of Girl Code That They’ll Never Break
Interview
What makes women special? Perhaps it’s true that they’re made of sugar, spice and everything nice. Or it could be their unwavering dedication to anything they set their minds to. Or maybe, it’s the fact that they follow a strict code that unites them all together.
Women on Reddit have recently been sharing sacred, though often unspoken, laws of “girl code” that they would never break. We’ve gathered their rules below, from helping out any woman in need, even if she’s your enemy, to putting friends before men. This list is a crash course in how to be an ally to all women. So enjoy scrolling through, and be sure to upvote the pieces of girl code that you wouldn’t ever break either!
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#1
If a random woman I do not know comes up to me and starts talking to me as though we’ve been homies for years, then we’ve been homies for years.
I’ve had quite a few women come up to me and my friends for safety to get away from someone. I will ALWAYS play along.
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#2
I am a middle aged woman who was at my doctors surgery waiting my turn. Saw a much older lady in a wheelchair with a man old enough to be her son with her. She looked distressed but it was a doctors surgery so I did not think much of it. I then realised that the lady was trying to make contact with me - she gestured towards me - took me a while to realise - so I went over . She asked me to accompany her to the toilet. The gentleman with her was her son and she was embarrassed. She sobbed because she was so relieved that a woman realised her situation- she did not want her son in the toilet with her. This is the code we should never break - no matter how old you get - let’s hope a sister is there to help you keep your dignity.
#3
One of my girl code things from way back:
If a guy cheats on me with a girl and she didn't know about me when it happened, then she and I are not enemies. It's 100% on him and not her. I met one of my best friends this way. She had no idea about me and she apologized to me when she found out. Like girl, I don't want to fight you, and now he has two women mad at him. He did us both dirty.
To find out how this thread started in the first place, we got in touch with Reddit user Lady_Opiniosa. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share what inspired her to start this conversation.
"I was having a chat with my colleague, and she said something like 'she won't break a girl code over some boy,'" the author noted.
We also asked if there were any girl code rules that she would never break. "There are many, but I will list a few," she said. "First, no dating taken men. Second, helping out with creeps and predators is a must. Third, helping out with period-related concerns is non-negotiable."
#4
I always tell a woman if I think an item of clothing or hair style or hair colour or accessories look stunning on her. I lack positive feedback in my life so much that I just want to give it - yes girl, I love your shoes, they look awesome on you and pair well with your clothes. Lady, your absolute mane of red hair is gorgeous, have a great day, I wish I could paint you! Miss, your red earrings complement your white hair so well, lovely detail!
And then I smile and leave because I'm a straight married woman that just wants to show a little appreciation for the details that people put in their appearance. It's a shame not too many people do that in a way of pure aesthetic appreciation.
#5
If I see a super drunk or incoherent girl being led somewhere by a strange man, that's my friend. I'll get her home safe, thanks.
Crystalwitch60 2 weeks ago
w*f is Anne’s problem on this thread , girls DO NOT GO TO HER if u ever need help ,cost ain’t gonna get it clearly , she’s a right mardy mare 🙄
#6
If they have something in their face or if their skirt is tucked into their underwear… TELL THEM!
KrazyChiMama 2 weeks ago
I’ve done this one…I have told many discretely about lipstick on teeth and stopped a bridesmaid from walking around a casino with her skirt tucked in her pantyhose.
Finally, we asked the author what she thought of the replies to her post. "I absolutely enjoyed reading through the comments and replies," Lady_Opiniosa said. "I was so happy that women were coming forward and most of us agree on the same things. I also felt bad that some guys were unable to handle those types of conversations."
#7
If someone asks for a pad/tampon and you have a spare? You. Give. It. To. Them. Doesn’t matter if they’re your No.1 enemy. You give it to them.
Bartlet for world domination 2 weeks ago
I even got a tampon from a stranger in a tram once. Aunt Flo has been an irregular visitor (I'm in my fifties) so I was caught off guard and I looked for the woman with the biggest bag. She had one, and of course it was no problem.
#8
Visibly overwhelmed mom at the store? Offer help or reassurance that she’s doing a great job.
The day before Christmas Eve I did this to a woman in line at the grocery store
with two toddlers, an overflowing cart at the front of the line, and realization she’d forgotten something. I asked her if I could run and get it as a friend could hold my spot in line. The place was packed. I came back with a green onion cheeseball, picked up a dropped toddler shoe, and let her know she was doing great. She crumbled into tears. Moms support moms. Always.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
I'm not even a mom, but I'm a middle-aged woman, so I use that to "comfort" stressed moms. I just nod wisely and say "yes, it's one of those days, hm? That's just part of it.", as if it was no biggie (and let's be honest - 10 minutes of noise in a bus are nothing, in terms of actual problems).
#9
Even if we aren't friends anymore, I'll never spread your secrets. They go to grave with me one day as I promised.
#10
I will never give out someone's contact information without their permission.
#11
Several years ago I was getting gas after going to the dog park. I remember seeing a lady who happened to be there getting gas. As I was coming back outside she starts talking to me like we know each other. We start talking about our dogs and stuff. After a few minutes, she thanked me saying some creepy guy wouldn't leave her alone.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
Glad you helped he out of that situation, just a shame there is no available way of dealing with the creepy guy
#12
I will never ever ask a woman when her baby is due, unless she tells me she is pregnant.
Justanotherpanda 2 weeks ago
This, never ever assume. It's so very painful for everyone involved.
#13
If a guy asks when a female coworker gets off work or whether she is working today, I've never heard of a living soul by that name. If she wants you to know, you'll know.
quentariel 2 weeks ago
In our work it's forbidden to give any information about any of our workers to anyone. We can't tell even whether the person works there, or are they currently there or anyrhing. The genders of the people don't matter.
#14
No woman left behind. Ever. It’s a broad one that covers a lot;
1) walking *all the way inside* during a drop off to home
2) we came to the bar together, we are leaving together
3) we didn’t come to the bar together, but you’re clearly drunk and alone and I found you? We’re together until I find you a safe person or you sober up
4) you’re being harassed? Hey girl! It’s been so long, how are you?
5) there’s a physically dangerous situation I see happening? I’m intervening. Sometimes if I’m smart I’ll call cops first. I’ll be honest though, in an emergency the most responsible and logical move of “calling cops *first*” doesn’t kick in until it’s over.
6) I will 1000% make ***everyone uncomfortable*** to protect someone from a bad situation.
I teach my sons these rules, too. I don’t want them caught off guard when other women do this for each other. I also want them to protect their friends - male and female - that they go out with or happen upon while out.
Desanera Starling 2 weeks ago
People sometimes need backup. Or a witness. Or an alibi. Doesn't always have to be a guy.
#15
Never leave a woman behind.
A few incidents spring to mind, the time I saw a woman alone crying, cornered by two men outside at night, I put myself between the woman and the 2 blokes, walked her to a nearby club with doormen, called her a taxi and paid for her to get home.
Saw a woman being mugged in the wee small hours of the morning, a group of about 5 or 6 blokes were on the opposite side of the road and ignored the whole thing & walked off, so I ran down the road to her, stayed with her to try and comfort her until her husband arrived.
I know I've not made the smartest moves in these situations, and it could have gone very badly, but not leaving a fellow woman alone in a situation that could or already has escalated to physical harm is deeply ingrained .
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
This starts with being sufficiently alert and aware, to spot potentially bad things going down.
#16
If another woman asks me for the name of my perfume/where I bought my dress I will always tell her.
Gives me the ick when people gatekeep those things.
#17
If any women asks me to do a “check” with their pants , I’ll always check. I’ve had strangers ask before and I’ve had to ask strangers.
#18
If I know another woman's SO has cheated, I'm telling her. Doesn't matter who she or the cheater are to me.
Blondie23 2 weeks ago
I agree with this, I lost a couple of friends over this because they were not ready to hear it. One time I told a girl her boyfriend was cheating she got so mad she stop talking to me... fast forward about 15 years and she found me on facebook and apologized to me. She ended up marrying that dude and he cheated the whole time and they got divorced. She realized I was right. I told her no need to apologize and that I was sorry I couldn't have prevented that. Long story short..ALWAYS tell the women if you know. It's better in the end!
#19
I was in a public restroom the other day and went into a stall where the door wouldn’t lock, and a girl standing in the restroom just came and offered to hold it closed for me lol.
Andrew Keir 1 week ago
And make a thing about reporting it. Tell them you live locally and will check it in a few days. Sometimes the world needs temporary Karens - just don't make a habit of it.
#20
Met a girl in an airport in NZ who was scammed out of a ticket on a fake airline website. English wasn’t her first language. It was March 2020 so the airport was chaos, everyone trying to get home, flights getting cancelled as counties were closing borders. I stayed with her as long as I could going counter to counter trying to sort it out before I had to run to my gate for my flight out. I couldn’t help her more than that but sometimes girl code is just making sure another woman isn’t alone when it gets really scary. She did get it all sorted out and got back home.
#21
If a girl compliments me, I will smile and compliment her back.
Jean Jacket 1 week ago
Yes! And/or maybe an extra detail like where the complimented item was purchased or if it has pockettssssss
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#22
If a girl brings her new beau to the group, you only ever tell stories which show her in the best light possible, even embellishing slightly to make her shine. Leave all the embarrassing stuff out and if anyone else in the group tries to bring it up, you shut them down. Never be a crab in a bucket.
Sally Moen 2 weeks ago
Oh I remember reading that story! The bucket of crabs, all stretching to reach the lip of the bucket to escape, then a small group form a chain to stand on top of each other, so that others can crawl over them, until one crab knocks the bottom crab over so the chain collapses. It's a depressing story until I recognized it was a cautionary tale of what NOT to do with your life
#23
Believing them when they say they were victimized. I mean, I believe men too because it affects everyone.
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
Yes always belive men to , cos if does happen to them , but I loath the word victim!! If we made it out alive WE ARE SURVIVORS ❤️
#25
1. Never hit on your (girl) friends' male interests or boyfriends.
2. Never use something said in confidence "against" them.
3. Your friends hold a special place in your life and heart that is only theirs and should remain theirs, unaffected, even when you have a family, husband or kids.
#26
My house is available for you at any time.
You need a night away from toxic family? Your living situation is tied up with a bad partner? You want a spot that's just quiet and you don't want to interact with me at all? You didn't plan on getting drunk while you're here but now you are? Your house doesn't have aircon and it's hell degrees outside? You just want company or a cuddle or somebody to lend an ear and a shoulder while you cry?
Even if I'm not home, if I get that call, I'm telling you where my spare key is and mi casa is su casa.
Elmina 2 weeks ago
My BFF and I have this arrangement. Any. Time. No questions asked. If you don't feel like talking, that's cool. If you need a cuddle and a cry, I'm here. If you want a snack or 7 bottles of wine, I'm in! Can I run you a bath with loads of bubbles? Whatever you need, whenever you need it. We've been besties for 26 years now.
#28
If we're close to each other at a bar, and you don't have any other women with you, I'm keeping an eye on your drink as much as I'm keeping an eye on mine.
#29
I won't date or sleep with your ex, even if you say you're ok with it.
Edit: Please stop replying to this comment that you think it's ok to do. I don't care. The question asked the code that *I* follow. I don't care if you follow it or not, I follow it. That's it.
#30
Whenever i’m at the club in the girls bathroom and there’s a girl in there asking if she should get back with her ex, the answer is always NOOOOO.
#31
One time i was teaching a yoga class and a girls leggins had ripped without her noticing. She was not wearing any underwear and there was a guy behind her. Bless the guy, he was also uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. As soon as I noticed and was sure that the leggings had really ripped, I guided the rest of the class to "find child's pose and close your eyes" kind of thing. Then went over to her and told her super quietly. To be fair, she took it reeeaaally well and we even laughed and then she got up and left the class with her yoga mat covering her behind. The guy behind her was visibly relieved too.
Things like that... aaaalwaaays.
#32
Putting someone else down to elevate myself or make myself feel better. Actually this is in general for any person. Something I would never do, it goes against what I stand for and my morals.
#33
I will yell at a man for you. Your boyfriend, a stranger, your friend with benefits, doesn't matter. You're right and if you want me to have your back, I will.
If a guy friend of mine was creepy to you, you're right and he's blocked (after i've yelled at him).
If you feel unsafe, I'll sit or walk with you wherever you need me to go.
Crystalwitch60 1 week ago
Right Anne ur pathetic now !! seriously , when someone else is in trouble my safety don’t matter !! I’m helping ,or sorting it out , ( hospitality work for well since I was 16 , untill 14 yrs ago I’m 60 ) the amount of time I had to jump the bar n play bouncer ,I lost count ,so wind ur neck in ,someone needs help IM HELPING unless it’s u then ur own ur own troll
#34
Fanning and commiserating with coworkers or strangers when they have hot flashes. Nobody teaches you about perimenopause or menopause, you’re just thrown to the wolves to suffer. I’m just like “I got you, girl” and get them cold water, fan them whatever. I feel like treating it like it’s normal and not embarrassing or taboo helps us all.
Ali 2 weeks ago
I heard it referred to a few weeks back as having 'hagitude'. I think it was ment as an insult, but I have been embracing it. I am old enough to be annoyed 'manners' require me to behave like it's not happening. I was of a generation where girls were expected to stay silent about puberty issues and that was wrong. Most of us cope better knowing we are not alone.
#35
If a guy messages me and I've seen evidence that they already have someone I will screenshot and ask if they are in an open relationship.
#36
I had a friend who made out with a guy at a bar, exchanged numbers etc. The day after, his fiancée calls, asking why she's in her fiancé's call log. My friend lied and said it was whatever innocent excuse, something about her helping him find his phone. It would've cost her 0 to save that girl from a marriage to a cheater and a liar, but she chose the option that made her look less bad to a complete stranger and worse to us that knew her.
Blondie23 2 weeks ago
yeah that's a tough one. I remember in college a friend of mine slept with this guy that I worked with. I thought he was engaged but he kept acting like they broke up so I was like whatever.... fast forward a couple of week and he and his fiancé were at the bar. Turns out they had not broken up she was just out of town for a couple of weeks. I told her about what he did and he was pissed at me. I didn't care, she needed to know. They eventually broke up and I like to think I saved her from marring a d****e bag!
#37
Let her know if gym leggings are see through!
#38
Getting involved with someone who's already taken. I've always walked away no matter how much i liked them or even when they begged me to stay.
#39
My best friends husbands are not my friends! We can be cool but at the end of the day I have my girls backs and that’s all.
GalPalAl 2 weeks ago
I have a friend whose husband died and she got remarried. I am not fond of her new husband. Whenever I visit her, he tries to buddy up with me (platonic), but I am not there to visit him and we are not friends. Her former husband had enough sense to not try to dominate the conversations when he was allve and I visited.
What do you think ?
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
I really wish attention wh0res like anne would find something useful to do with their lives.
marianne eliza 2 weeks ago
I don't think it's a female. Sounds like an incel to me.
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Strack Attack 1 day ago
Who is this Anne that everyone is talking about? Sounds insufferable 😂
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
You could have wondered why it is so important for women to develop this code, especially in terms of mutual protection. But no, you rather would sh/t on others because they don't protect you enough in your opinion. Get ra.ped as often as we are and we will discuss this, you t**t.
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Earonn - 2 weeks ago
I really wish attention wh0res like anne would find something useful to do with their lives.
marianne eliza 2 weeks ago
I don't think it's a female. Sounds like an incel to me.
Load More Replies... Strack Attack 1 day ago
Who is this Anne that everyone is talking about? Sounds insufferable 😂
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
You could have wondered why it is so important for women to develop this code, especially in terms of mutual protection. But no, you rather would sh/t on others because they don't protect you enough in your opinion. Get ra.ped as often as we are and we will discuss this, you t**t.
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