Every workplace is a microcosm of society. On the one hand, you have your awesome peeps who can become your best friends. But you also get people who are far from the embodiments of politeness, common sense, and empathy that you’d expect everyone to have. Unfortunately, being high up on the management ladder doesn’t make you immune to this or from harassing employees.

Twitter user Alexis Conklin started up a viral Twitter thread asking women to share the times that their male coworkers and bosses made them uncomfortable. Scroll down and have a read at the weird and creepy interactions, dear Pandas. And if you’re feeling brave, share if you’ve had similar experiences at the workplace in the comment section. Alexis’ thread got more than 72k likes and was retweeted over 95k times at the time of writing. This just goes to show that the discussion she sparked was relevant to a lot of people.

"I started working in the food industry as a server in 2016 just to work my way through college. It has its pros and cons, like every job. The most consistent issue that I saw both in my specific workplace and those that my friends worked in is that more managers than not are inappropriate with staff. This goes for clients, 'regulars' who come in, other positions within the company, etc.," Alexis told Bored Panda.

We also reached out to psychologist Frank McAndrew who told Bored Panda that, to simplify, there are two kinds of guys who make their female colleagues feel uncomfortable, and explained what can be done to make them stop. Read on for our full interviews with Professor McAndrew and Alexis.

#1

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

emilycarsonb Report

Kennedy Longworth
Community Member
4 weeks ago

That's awful! Hope you are feeling okay!

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#2

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Natierbaker Report

Viviane
Community Member
4 weeks ago

This is horrible. No words.

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#3

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

lil_miss_riss_ Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Guts!

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"Some guys are completely clueless that what they are saying is being received negatively and that it is making women uncomfortable. This can be corrected very quickly by clearly explaining that the comments/questions are uncomfortable and also explaining why they are inappropriate. It is important to do this very early in the relationship, because if it is allowed to continue for a while, suddenly saying something about it becomes awkward. These guys want to make a good impression, and they will change their ways," Professor McAndrew said.

However, he pointed out that the second type of guy is more problematic than the first. "They know they are being rude and they enjoy being the 'bad boy,' and making their coworkers uncomfortable is exactly the point. Ignoring these coworkers completely may work because it takes their fun away, but these guys may ultimately have to be dealt with by actions from the higher-ups," the psychologist explained.

That's why it's important for the staff working at human resources to have procedures in place for dealing with harassment. "If HR is unable or unwilling to step in, it is important for coworkers who are not directly involved to speak up and make it clear that the bad actor risks being socially ostracized from his colleagues if he doesn't clean up his act. It is always unfortunate when the only solution to these problems becomes a legal one."

#4

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

DerJoshibaer Report

KombatBunni
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Of course it’s okay to share! Nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever..it doesn’t matter what your gender is, harassment is not okay!

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#5

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Rrrrrica123 Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Wow, a female boss who condones that behaviour is surprising enough, but then to be such a terrible mom on top to put her daughter in a position to have to deal with that too....

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#6

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Jessie_Marie12 Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I bet that he is one of those idiots who is so entrenched in his sexist views that he doesn't even begin to understand that his behaviour is out of bounds and that these are not compliments, nor that any woman could possibly get upset over being treated like this.

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Alexis stressed the fact that she didn't want to speak negatively about men as a whole or to imply that they're all 'unprofessional.' "The tweet has been taken out of context many times and I regret my word usage because the notion that was implied by many was not my intention," she specified.

"However, in my specific situation, along with other women who I am friends with, it’s been female staff employees and male superiors, coworkers, and clients/'regulars' when it comes to sexual harassment, advances being made, flirting, being made uncomfortable, etc. I realize it is not this way in every situation as well. I would also like to include that I am very much aware men are in the same situation as we are at times and their experiences are just as important as ours," Alexis went into more detail about what her intentions with the Twitter thread were.

She was inspired to create the thread after talking with her other coworkers and friends in the food industry. "I think issues such as these are often swept under the rug and it is a conversation that needs to be talked about. Countless women said they were still made to work with their abuser after coming forward. Some women were fired by the manager who was sexually harassing after standing up for themselves. Some had to quit their jobs just to get out of the situation. All of which are completely unacceptable."

#7

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Casserly_Rock Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

That's terrible

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#8

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

ssusansad Report

Joseph Kuhlman
Community Member
4 weeks ago

1. By the cfo? Good god! 2. Years?! I no longer have hope for humanity.

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#9

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

kammyl2002 Report

Joseph Kuhlman
Community Member
4 weeks ago

How do you “accidentally” grab someone from behind? Without falling over, I mean.

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Alexis said that she was saddened, surprised, and shocked by the amount of attention her thread got on Twitter recently. She also revealed that she's proud of all the women and men who came forward with their stories. However, she also feels angry on their behalf. "Conversations covering these topics should be discussed more and talked about and brought awareness to."

According to Alexis, there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with 'creepy' coworkers; you have to deal with everyone on a case-by-case basis. "Going to management can work unless it’s the manager acting a certain way to make the employee uncomfortable. Then it’s a gamble with hoping you’re believed by the higher-ups. If it’s a coworker, HR or again a manager. Even then, it’s hoping that it gets taken seriously and a course of action is taken again whomever is being complained about."

She said that her personal experience in the food industry has shown her that she and her colleagues are pretty much left to stand up for themselves with customers, unless they cross the line by causing a scene or grabbing one of the employees.

#10

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

LBmothertrucker Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Not true, he's a -10.

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#11

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

dixiechick547 Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Those sorts of people still exist. I know professors who women are told not to be alone with. Its an open secret and nothing is done. Usually for the same reason, the publish a lot or attract large classes

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#12

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

flashlightdad Report

Alex T
Community Member
4 weeks ago

:-: i hope u have a better job now

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"With this, I’ve learned that being your biggest advocate is one of the most important things you can be for yourself. When it comes to regulars, I personally feel more outspoken and able to handle the situation on my own. Coworkers are tricky because it makes the overall work environment a dark and complicated one," she explained that things are hardly easy when it comes to colleagues.

"I’ve been lucky enough to have some superiors who I am about to feel comfortable going to but I know for many men and women that isn’t the case. I wish I had a better and more clear cut answer. It’s a messy situation. The first start of finding a solution is discussing the problem, though," Alexis said.

"If there’s anything I could let the men know who are, or have been, made uncomfortable by a woman (or even another man) in the workforce, it would be that their situation is just as important to talk about. I think a lot of men were put off by the tweet and were given the impression that their experience is lesser than, or not as important, which was never my intention."

#13

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

my_names_missy Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

A predator using his job as his hunting grounds. Sick.

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#14

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

sonia_isabellee Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

It doesn't matter if you're 16 or 56, this is never ok

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#15

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Gemvis69 Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Yuck!

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Being in a state of “hyper-vigilance” can be mentally exhausting because we’re on the lookout for danger and predators.

While some creeps might be beyond saving (though some would argue that everyone’s capable of redemption), others are simply socially misguided. The latter may have good intentions, but they’re absolutely clueless about how to behave in social settings.

The answer in both cases, then, can be a strong HR team who are willing to mediate any conflicts and provide guidance to any coworkers that need that bit of help to act in a socially acceptable way.

#16

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

LydByrd Report

Viviane
Community Member
4 weeks ago

You're right to leave a potentially dangerous situation. Write up reports and send them to HR. They might not do anything for a while, but he may eventually be fired if enough complaints reach higher ups. If he's touched anyone in a gross manner, that could be sexual assault.

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#17

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

KandaVegeta Report

Viviane
Community Member
4 weeks ago

It's a myth that heterosexual men don't mind any kind of female attention.

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#18

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

yaboiLordHall Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Good.

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#19

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

shedge_10 Report

Alex T
Community Member
4 weeks ago

i have no hope for humanity

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#20

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

mariijb_ Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I would have printed the company's code of conduct (assuming there was one) and highlighted all the areas that he was violating, and left it on his desk.

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#21

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

celina_tro Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Damn that must have made you feel nauseous and lucky to get away at the same time.

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#22

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

nobody_no1cares Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

The sad truth is that all these insecure men who behave like this are also suffering because they will never have a good and fulfilling relationship with any woman in their whole life. Without mutual respect, how would it possible?

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#23

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

SterveErwern Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 weeks ago

How awful

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#24

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

JT_Tyrrell Report

Aeon Flux
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I’m glad his harasser was punished. I just wish it were easier to hold men accountable, though.

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#25

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

donalynnmardel Report

Kimberly Young
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Send the screenshots to the wife too!

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#26

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

em19ily Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited)

I know things like this are more embarrassing than infuriating when you’re 16. But please, try to encourage all young people working anywhere to always report inappropriate behavior by coworkers—-especially older ones who 1) are flirting with jail and placement on the sexual predators list, and 2) are old enough to f*****g know better!

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#27

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

fleshsmoothie1 Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

When in doubt - always blame it on the victim, eh?

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#28

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

ohyeahsindi Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

WTF?

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#29

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

LadyClockwork Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

That's because your "friend" was also making inappropriate comments in the group chat

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#30

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

momziess Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Why do men do d**k pics? Does it ever get them what they want?

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#31

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

ktariina_ Report

KombatBunni
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I would have kneed the bastard in the crotch three times and told him I was being funny..what an a$$hole 🤬

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#32

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Rosie_Ferrell Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited)

I would’ve said “You talk to your mother with that foul mouth?” See, if he complains about me being insubordinate, I can tell HR/the big bosses exactly why I said it, and make him and the other foul mouths squirm, having to explain exactly what they were saying and doing to make it happen.

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#33

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

godawgs1976 Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Lol what? You thought nothing of it? I would not be able to do anything but think something of it.

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#34

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

goddessbella7 Report

togcrewsc
Community Member
4 weeks ago

sometimes its fine if u say u r if it gets them off ur back. ive had to do that a ton (and im pan so) but i trly am dating another girl rn

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#35

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

em19ily Report

RJ
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited)

An old creep made those super funny comments when I was young and when I told the other guy that was the reason I left after a week, he got mad. It was just humor. I went to their competitor lol.

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#36

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

MaliyaOjo Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

She didn't want to make him feel bad .... *sigh* Yeah. Women are brought up to support men. Men are brought up to support other men. Teach your daughters that they have the right to stand up for themselves!

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#37

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

PghLesbian24 Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 weeks ago

If you've been sent porn by senior staff you have the tangible evidence of sexual harassment. Report them to HR and the police. If that fails put it on social media. "Hey guys, I'd like to share a message mr.Jones from accounting sent me today."

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#38

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

gemlesschosen Report

CatWoman312
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Super creep

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#39

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

Emily56289128 Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Yeah, I’ve often wondered what makes some employees—-usually the worst ones—-so Teflon-coated. Relative? Lover? Blackmailer? Connected?

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#40

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

LittleDreamGemi Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Good on you for standing up for yourself!

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#41

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

emilycurrierx Report

S.
Community Member
4 weeks ago

This should be illegal, WTF!?

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#42

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

solermarcus1 Report

Mark Serbian
Community Member
4 weeks ago

No matter what the men say, they always know it.

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#43

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

digital_drugzx Report

S.
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Can he be sent to jail?

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#44

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

carolinekinney Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Good, and I hope they give a heads up to every place he applies for afterward.

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#45

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

maggieford_ Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited)

Yeah, but aspirin won’t get your d**k cut off by a group of my friends and relatives. Unless you actually want to sing soprano.

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#46

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

cdizzle257 Report

Jane Doe
Community Member
4 weeks ago

There was a letter like this on Ask a Manager. A guy wrote in to say that in a spurt of anger he said this to a young, new female employee. His question, "I know I have to apologize...I shouldn't have yelled." Oh, OK.

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#47

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

ilikiwidiot Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited)

“Overly friendly” to other girls and you means inappropriately “friendly”. Gather evidence, record when, how, and to whom, and report it to HR. The store has security cameras, so if you give them dates and times, they can back it up with video proof. Be quick about it, though, because most security cameras only store video for anywhere between three days and one month.

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#48

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

cilantrodelrey Report

Katrina B.
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Yep! I had a cut on my wrist, with a bandage over it and a customer asked if I tried to commit suicide

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#49

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

shelbayy22 Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
4 weeks ago

That’s why I go to the gym in comfortable, loose-fitting, somewhat worn out workout clothes no makeup, hair pulled back off my neck and out of my face. I’m there to exercise, not flirt, so leave me TF alone, creep.

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#50

Women-Expose-Creepy-Bosses

finnreilly01 Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I mean, a baby is a special thing, I can't speak for them, but this one doesn't seem as bad as the others, unless he continued pushing it. Still not appropriate to question if someone is pregnant at work.

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