Woman Thinks She Has A Perfect Marriage Of 20 Years Until Husband’s Dirty Secret Comes Out

Infidelity ruins marriages and families solely because of the cheating aspect. But some cases become even worse when they result in an affair baby. According to some sources, only 2-3% of affairs result in children, yet these stories are the most likely to become heartbreaking and scandalous.

When this woman found out her husband cheated on her nine years ago and had a son with his colleague, she was beyond heartbroken. But when he asked her to raise the 9-year-old as her own, she lost it. Still, feeling guilty and pitying the boy, the woman asked netizens to weigh in on whether she was being too harsh.

A family’s idyllic life was ruined by news of a husband’s affair 9 years ago

Couple embracing on a beach, smiling and happy, illustrating themes of husband hiding an affair and secret family dynamics.

Image credits: Glenn Guiao / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The affair with a colleague resulted in a baby boy, and the husband expected his wife to take care of him now like he was her own

A personal Reddit post expressing shock and pain after discovering a husband's secret affair and hidden child.

Text excerpt describing a wife sharing background about her marriage and adopted children before revealing a hidden affair.

Alt text: Text about a wife describing her strong relationship with her husband despite challenges over the years.

Couple shares affectionate date nights while balancing jobs, parenting, and intimacy in a comfortable family life.

Surprised woman with brown hair and wide eyes, representing a husband hiding an affair for 9 years and secret revealed.

Image credits: Anna Tarazevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text describing a husband hiding an affair for nine years that resulted in a child with a co-worker.

Text about a husband hiding an affair and the doubts his wife has about believing his explanation.

Text about a husband hiding an affair for nine years and the impact on his secret and family life.

A man hiding an affair talks seriously with a woman in a bright room, reflecting tension about the secret and new family roles.

Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Alt text: Woman shares story about husband hiding affair for 9 years and now facing new challenges with secret child and family.

Text on a white background describing a confession about turning a guest room into a boy's room and introducing him as a new brother.

Text excerpt about a husband hiding an affair for nine years and the boy needing a new mom and bedroom.

Woman covering face in distress, symbolizing pain from husband hiding affair for 9 years and family secrets emerging.

Image credits: Fa Barboza / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text on a plain background stating uncertainty about a boy who is innocent and did not choose his parents.

Woman locks herself in bedroom feeling hurt after husband hides affair and secret child for nine years.

Alt text: Woman expressing conflict over husband's infidelity and feelings about caring for the child from the affair

Text post discussing paternity test confirming boy is husband's son in a long hidden affair case.

Image credits: Embarrassed_Ask8092

A man and woman sitting on a bed, the woman looks upset while the man tries to comfort her, indicating relationship tension.

Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Very few couples are able to reconcile and raise an affair child together

Some spouses are capable of forgiving an affair. In fact, according to a 2019 survey, 30% of couples touched by infidelity say they tried to patch things up. However, only 15.6% actually survive infidelity.

But when you have to live with the physical proof of your spouse’s infidelity every day, reconciliation can become even harder. Some experts even call this a permanent reminder of betrayal of love and trust.

Whatever the wife chooses in this scenario, it’s very unlikely that there won’t be any pain, hurt, and setbacks. Relationship experts say that it’s possible for the couple to raise an affair child as their own, but that it will most likely be a hard and arduous process.

Clinical psychologist and the Director of Psychology at UCLA Medical Center Dr. Michael Wetter, PsyD, emphasizes communication as the most important element. A vital part of reconciliation is also the cheating party taking all responsibility for their actions and commit to build the relationship up from the ground again and stay in the relationship.

“The spouse who has been cheated on has the right to express how they feel [in] difficult moments,” Wetter explains. “They should be able to say that this is tough for me, and over time, those difficult moments fade.”

From experience, Wetter says that couples staying together in such a situation is not the norm, but rather the exception. A more common result he sees is the couple getting divorced, but still raising that affair child together as a blended family.

“It might be where couples divorce and figure out how to navigate coparenting but in a new light as opposed to trying to stay in marriage where [there] are a lot of hurt feelings,” he went on.

Feet of a couple under white bed sheets, symbolizing a hidden affair and secret relationship in a bedroom setting.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

There are three main reasons why individuals choose to cheat

Another dilemma that the woman in this story could not figure out was why the husband cheated. According to her, everything seemed so perfect, so what drove him to betray her and their family like that?

Kelly Armatage, Therapist & TEDx Speaker, previously explained to Bored Panda the reasons why some individuals cheat.

• They’ve been raised to believe that cheating is okay. Some children who grew up in families where there was infidelity might form the belief that being unfaithful is not a cardinal sin. According to Armatage, studies have shown that people who have at least one parents who cheated on the other are twice as likely to be cheaters themselves than individuals who grew up in families with faithful parents.
• It’s their way of dealing with low self-esteem. Feeling desired may give some people a sense of control. “Often for these people, cheating can be a coping mechanism and an attempted means to feel validated, desired and needed,” Armatage told Bored Panda back then.
• They lack intimacy in the marriage. After many years in a marriage, attraction and sexual desire can fade. Emotional connection lessens too, as routine and responsibilities kick in, forcing the couple to spend less and less time alone. “Unsurprisingly, dissatisfaction in the bedroom or a waning desire to be sexually intimate with your partner may be a risk factor for cheating,” Armatage notes.

The husband already took a DNA test and confirmed the child was definitely his

Screenshot of an online discussion about a husband hiding an affair for nine years and its impact on family dynamics.

Screen capture of a Reddit conversation discussing a husband hiding an affair and its impact on family dynamics.

Comment explaining a husband’s hidden affair for nine years and advice on confronting the secret and relationship issues.

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Text conversation discussing a husband hiding an affair for 9 years and bonding secretly with a surprise kid.

Text excerpt discussing a husband hiding an affair for 9 years and the impact on family and paternity issues.

People sympathized with the woman, saying that this kind of betrayal is unforgivable

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Text post discussing the impact of a husband hiding an affair on family dynamics and children’s reactions.

Reddit user discussing a husband hiding an affair and the complicated family dynamics involving a new child and new mom.

Comment about husband hiding an affair for nine years and involving the affair child in the marriage discussion.

Comment advising to leave husband who hid affair and take responsibility for secret child, emphasizing loyalty and consequences.

Alt text: Online comment discussing a husband's long hidden affair and its impact on family relationships and trust issues.

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Comment discussing a husband hiding an affair for years as he plans a bedroom and a new mom for his secret son.

Text advice on dealing with a husband who hid an affair and a new child, focusing on boundaries and personal peace.

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Comment discussing husband hiding affair for 9 years and challenges of caring for child needing a new mom and bedroom.

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Comment advising divorce after husband hides affair and expects wife to raise his child from the affair.

Comment discussing emotional impact of a husband hiding an affair for 9 years and the resulting family challenges.

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Comment about husband hiding affair for 9 years, needing a separate bedroom and new mom for secret child.

Screenshot of a social media comment about uncovering a husband’s hidden affair through bank records and credit card checks.

Comment discussing husband hiding affair for 9 years and dealing with betrayal, secret child, and new family dynamics.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing excuses for infidelity and discussing moving a child in after a husband’s hidden affair.

Comment discussing guilt and betrayal in a husband hiding an affair, advising to plan and seek a lawyer to leave.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband hiding an affair for nine years and its impact on the family.

Comment advising that the husband who hid an affair for 9 years needs a separate home to raise his child.

But one person thought she’s taking away his dream of having a biological child

Comment discussing forgiving a husband for a hidden affair and accepting his biological child into the family.

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