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Woman Refuses To Pay For Stepson’s Surgery After Husband Tells Her That She Can’t Buy His Love
Abusive and disrespectful spouses, unfortunately, exist. They are often mean-spirited towards the person they supposedly love and vowed to cherish for the rest of their lives, and seem to see no wrong with what they’re doing.
This woman endured abuse not only from her husband but also from her teenage stepson. Even after offering financial help when the family was in dire need, her intentions were put into question.
Things only worsened for her after she refused her husband’s request for monetary assistance, as she was made to come off as the villain.
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A woman had been dealing with disrespect from both her husband and stepson
Image credits: prostock-studio (not the actual image)
She was insulted even after offering financial support
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Her husband later came back to her for monetary assistance, which she rejected
Image credits: Frosty_Woodpecker628
Emotionally abusive men fit a particular profile
Certain personality traits and unpleasant past experiences may cause a person to develop an abusive personality, which they can take out on their romantic partners. However, men who tend to be emotionally cruel to their significant others share particular traits, according to the Connections for Abused Women and Their Children (CAWC).
These traits may include low self-esteem, frequent oversensitivity, unrealistic expectations, and adherence to patriarchal gender roles.
The possible gender superiority complex may be the reason why the husband initially rejected his wife’s offer to pay for the stepson’s college expenses. He may also be battling self-esteem issues because of his inability to provide for the family due to his financial struggles.
However, his wife was bearing the brunt of whatever he was going through at the time. Emotional abuse often carries scarring effects, from guilt and shame to a lack of emotional security. Worse, they pass it on to another person and repeat the pattern.
Anyone who’s endured any form of abuse from a loved one is encouraged to make themselves the priority. According to licensed clinical social worker Stephanie Payne, LCSW, it’s about finding a safe space that’s far away from where the mistreatment constantly occurs. More importantly, it’s about knowing that your feelings matter.
Payne also advises creating an exit plan, which involves having a packed bag with essentials that you can easily grab and leave the house with. This is especially applicable for those who also endure physical abuse and fear for their safety.
“Give yourself some compassion and grace. Be kind to yourself since the abuser is already being very negative towards you,” Payne wrote in her article for Choosing Therapy.
At this point, the woman would be better off leaving her husband and stepson, both of whom seem to have a blatant lack of respect for her.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
The woman provided more details about her story
Many people sided with her, with some advising her to leave
But some thought she was out of line for refusing to help a sick teenager
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
The YTAs don't seem to realize that Ethan is not a "child" any more. He isn't still 16 years old. If OP's mathing is correct, Ethan is now 21 years old. He is an adult. His own father isn't technically responsible for helping pay for a medical expense, let alone the stepmother that both he and his father pushed away years ago. Does it suck that Ethan needs surgery? Yes. But he's not a helpless child like some of the YTAs seem to bizarrely think so.
Trillian 5 months ago
He wasn't a child at 16 when he thought it was okay to treat her like that. And the father either standing by or joining in.
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Alexandra 5 months ago
I'm always astonished at how people can muddle things up just to make it suit their intentions. This is just 'actions have consequences', nothing more, nothing less. The stepson has made it clear he doesn't like nor respect his stepmother, so there is no reason for her to pay for him. There is also no relationship to be build on paying for his surgery, because there is no basis for rebuilding a relationship on : he just doesn't like her. That's it.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
The YTAs don't seem to realize that Ethan is not a "child" any more. He isn't still 16 years old. If OP's mathing is correct, Ethan is now 21 years old. He is an adult. His own father isn't technically responsible for helping pay for a medical expense, let alone the stepmother that both he and his father pushed away years ago. Does it suck that Ethan needs surgery? Yes. But he's not a helpless child like some of the YTAs seem to bizarrely think so.
Trillian 5 months ago
He wasn't a child at 16 when he thought it was okay to treat her like that. And the father either standing by or joining in.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 5 months ago
I'm always astonished at how people can muddle things up just to make it suit their intentions. This is just 'actions have consequences', nothing more, nothing less. The stepson has made it clear he doesn't like nor respect his stepmother, so there is no reason for her to pay for him. There is also no relationship to be build on paying for his surgery, because there is no basis for rebuilding a relationship on : he just doesn't like her. That's it.
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