Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“This Is Karma”: Woman Left To Pick Up The Pieces After Leaving Husband For Another Man
Interview With Expert
Early in life, we learn that every action has consequences. As we grow into adulthood, we get the occasional reminder in the form of sayings like, “You made your bed, now lie in it.”
A woman found herself in this exact situation when she left her husband for another man she believed would give her the life she had always wanted. She then realized that reality couldn’t have been further from her colorful fantasies, sending her into a profound state of regret.
As she looks back on her monumental mistake, she turned to the Reddit community for help figuring out how to live with the decision she made.
RELATED:
Life has a way of reminding us about the consequences of our actions
Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman learned things the hard way after leaving her husband for another man
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She realized her monumental mistake after reality started unfolding
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Wondering how to live with her decision, she turned to the internet for answers
Image credits: Gabby_2023
People leave stable relationships out of relief
We often think that people leave their supposedly stable relationships because they found something “better.” This is what the author let on, that she left her husband because the man she replaced him with offered her “amazing plans” for the future.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Gabriella Azzam, she may haveleft the marriage out of relief.
“It’s not that they necessarily stop loving their long-term partner, but something inside the relationship no longer feels fulfilling or emotionally safe, and they don’t know how else to fix it,” she told Bored Panda.
That lack of emotional safety may occur when the partner no longer feels they are the top priority. As licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship specialist Ramiro Castano explains, it’s when couples begin drifting apart and cause unhappiness, even in “stable relationships.”
Many people who leave their partners may think that “the grass is greener” with another person, a belief the author also held. She had grown infatuated with the idea of having a house, a baby, and a life together with her new man.
Castano gave a few reasons why the “grass is greener effect” feels convincing: the intensity of the moment feels like a sign from the universe, the moment of loneliness being filled is confused for love, and there can be a confusion of “ease” with the new partner, considering the struggles with the former. All of these are compounded by feelings of hopelessness.
Regret in these scenarios are feelings of grief, which should be dealt with accountability
Dr. Azzam says the regret of losing a relationship is akin to feelings of grief. It is especially likely when the fantasy of the new relationship collapses, and the illusion fades.
But in such cases, does a person’s attachment style affect their decision? Castano says it isn’t likely.
“What matters significantly more is how much and how long the lack of safety within that relationship is, because that is what ultimately creates the relational space for the outside person to fill,” he noted.
Realizing you lost someone because of your own doing is “sobering,” as Dr. Azzam describes. You are likely grieving the failed relationship more than the person who is no longer in your life.
According to her, the only way to move forward is through accountability.
“Genuine regret could show up as being more accountable without defensiveness, focusing less on getting your original partner back, and focusing more on understanding what harm was done and how to potentially avoid getting into similar situations in the future,” Dr. Azzam said.
The woman did seem to express genuine remorse for her decision. Only time will tell whether she gets back together with her husband, but if she doesn’t, this experience may serve as a lesson for future relationships.
People in the comments didn’t mince their words
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 4 hours ago
Look, if the marriage wasnt good enough to stay, it doesn't matter if husband was all in. It s***s new guy didn't work out but he helped OP realise she deserves to be seen and treated well it's too bad it didn't work out but that's always the gamble. Hopefully she can continue to figure out what she wants, needs and deserves and the next one will go better. It's so easy to rebound though, I hope she tries being single for a spell
linnetteavianna 23 minutes ago
I get paid over 220 Bucks per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. i never thought i'd be able to do it but my best friend earns over 15k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. the potential with this is endless..., COPY HERE➤➤ 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗝𝗼𝗯𝟭.𝗰𝗼𝗺
Load More Replies...
Emilu 6 hours ago (edited)
And that is why we think with our brains, not our genitals. (I did a dive on the Reddit thread, before people assume I'm being a bitch. This poster is getting exactly what she deserves. No, she's not being abused or anything akin to it. She made crappy choices and is now complaining that she has to deal with the consequences of them. Quote: "I don't really see love as a big factor in relationships but how secure they are..." She posts in an AMA from a rich person in Dubai asking them for money. Oh, and she's asking for medical advice because she feels sick from her stress. Stress over cheating on her ex-husband. You get the idea of what sort of person this is.)
Skogsrået 2 hours ago
The ex husband was 29 and she was 17 when they met. He cheated on her with prostitutes. The other man was also much older then her, OP needs to be alone and figure out who she is and what she wants before jumping into a new relationship. None of those men were good for her, i don't think she is bad person though. Be careful when you judge others cause you don't know what the future brings for you.
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 4 hours ago
Look, if the marriage wasnt good enough to stay, it doesn't matter if husband was all in. It s***s new guy didn't work out but he helped OP realise she deserves to be seen and treated well it's too bad it didn't work out but that's always the gamble. Hopefully she can continue to figure out what she wants, needs and deserves and the next one will go better. It's so easy to rebound though, I hope she tries being single for a spell
linnetteavianna 23 minutes ago
I get paid over 220 Bucks per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. i never thought i'd be able to do it but my best friend earns over 15k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. the potential with this is endless..., COPY HERE➤➤ 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗝𝗼𝗯𝟭.𝗰𝗼𝗺
Load More Replies... Emilu 6 hours ago (edited)
And that is why we think with our brains, not our genitals. (I did a dive on the Reddit thread, before people assume I'm being a bitch. This poster is getting exactly what she deserves. No, she's not being abused or anything akin to it. She made crappy choices and is now complaining that she has to deal with the consequences of them. Quote: "I don't really see love as a big factor in relationships but how secure they are..." She posts in an AMA from a rich person in Dubai asking them for money. Oh, and she's asking for medical advice because she feels sick from her stress. Stress over cheating on her ex-husband. You get the idea of what sort of person this is.)
Skogsrået 2 hours ago
The ex husband was 29 and she was 17 when they met. He cheated on her with prostitutes. The other man was also much older then her, OP needs to be alone and figure out who she is and what she wants before jumping into a new relationship. None of those men were good for her, i don't think she is bad person though. Be careful when you judge others cause you don't know what the future brings for you.
Load More Replies... You May Like Husband Throws A Full-Blown Tantrum After Wife Refuses To Do As He Demands “Am I Unreasonable To Want To Leave My Partner Over A Chocolate Cake?” Man Sends Distracting Wife To The Back Seat Before Something Tragic Happens, She Says It’s Humiliating
Jonas Žvilius
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Related on Bored Panda
30
7