Husband Is OK With Letting Wife Die Instead Of Giving Her A Kidney, Loses Her To Another Man
Many couples vow to have and to hold for better or worse, in sickness and in health, but few imagine at that point what challenges the future might hold.
For this redditor, it wasn’t her spouse who ended the relationship when her health took a turn for the worse. She herself realized she no longer felt the same way about her husband after a friend donated his kidney for her—something her husband refused to do.
Any relationship can turn upside down at any point, especially after a life-altering event
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This woman’s world was turned upside down when her friend donated a kidney for her
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwra-Fox-2800
The majority of individuals on the waiting list for an organ transplant are waiting for a kidney
Unfortunately, according to the American Kidney Fund, there are over 106,000 people on the waiting list for an organ transplant in the US alone; out of them, the vast majority—roughly 92,000 individuals—are waiting for a kidney.
Based on last year’s data, the kidney was both the organ that the majority on the waiting list needed and the organ that was transplanted the most over the year 2023. Others included the liver, the heart, and the lung that lined up respectively according to both the number of people in need of one and those who were lucky enough to receive it.
Unfortunately, getting on the list is just one of the steps towards a better life quality for people with medical issues. The American Kidney Fund emphasized that finding the right match from the list depends on numerous factors, such as the age of the recipient, the blood type of both of those involved, and the size of the donor kidney compared to the size of the recipient’s body, among other things.
A beam of light in a situation as grim as this, though, is that it’s possible for a living person to become a kidney donor. As a matter of fact, it reportedly is the most commonly donated organ by a living person, which they have given away to a relative, a friend, or even someone they don’t know.
Many people seem to support the idea of organ donation even if they haven’t registered to do it themselves
Despite not being actually obligated to—which some netizens in the comments made sure to point out—spouses reportedly comprise the largest group of living kidney donors. Research revealed that after taking the big step, the majority of them said that the relationship with their partner remained unchanged or took a turn for the better.
While spouses and others close to the individual in need of a transplant often become their guardian angels, strangers do, too; sometimes thanks to the relatives of said angel. After losing a loved one, family members can choose to donate their organs, that way providing hope for and often even saving the life of another person.
Some individuals opt for helping others themselves by registering to be an organ donor in the case of their death. Data suggests that roughly six-in-ten Americans are registered to become an organ donor, even though the absolute majority—roughly 95%—are in favor of such a deed.
Be that as it may, every person has their own reasons whether to become an organ donor or not, as likely did the OP’s husband. But while he chose not to undergo the testing required to see if he was a good match, the redditor’s friend stepped in, which eventually resulted in the OP’s life taking another unexpected turn.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP via Reddit and will update the article once we’ve heard back from her.
The redditor revealed more details in the comments
Fellow redditors seemingly split into camps over whether or not the OP was a jerk in the situation, quite a few didn’t think so
Others weren’t as supportive of the redditor
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I don't even want to be in the same room as the people who say YTA.
Right? "Leaving your spouse is as bad as cheating." Eh... No. It really isn't. This is exactly what you're supposed to do instead of cheating - separate to investigate and then making a conscious decision.
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This is a two way street. The YTA voters all make the claim she can't demand that he risks his health to save her life. And that is absolutely true. But she didn't make that demand. She fully accepted that he didn't want to risk it, that was his right. But the thing is, he isn't entitled to her staying with a person who puts their own comfort over her life. Just as much as it is his right to say no thanks, it is her right to say no thanks. Those people want all the rights for OP's husband and none for her, and that tells you exactly which of them they think is worth more. And it is not OP. It is completely legitimate to decide that you'd rather want to be with a person who loves you so much they'll give their kidney to you, even if it is just out of gratefulness, and not wanting to be with a person who rather watches you die than taking a risk. Those NTA people and the husband all want to have their cake and eat it too. But OP wants to share the cake. And she found someone who shares
the one that said "you took a sacred vow" really blew me away. I guess the husband didn't take any vows, just OP. i wonder what they would say in an opposite situation, that he has a right to her kidney because she's his wife (aka property)?
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Totally NTA, if you commit to spending your life with someone, to cherish and to love, in sickness and in health, I'd like to think you'd give up a kidney for them or *at least* get tested to do that, rather then see them suffer. No idea why people say YTA
@Joanna Dark. Do yourself a favor and go read that again. The husband never even got tested. He was fine with his wife dying. Id give whatever organ I could to my wife it would help her. you are incredibly delusional.
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I don't even want to be in the same room as the people who say YTA.
Right? "Leaving your spouse is as bad as cheating." Eh... No. It really isn't. This is exactly what you're supposed to do instead of cheating - separate to investigate and then making a conscious decision.
Load More Replies... This is a two way street. The YTA voters all make the claim she can't demand that he risks his health to save her life. And that is absolutely true. But she didn't make that demand. She fully accepted that he didn't want to risk it, that was his right. But the thing is, he isn't entitled to her staying with a person who puts their own comfort over her life. Just as much as it is his right to say no thanks, it is her right to say no thanks. Those people want all the rights for OP's husband and none for her, and that tells you exactly which of them they think is worth more. And it is not OP. It is completely legitimate to decide that you'd rather want to be with a person who loves you so much they'll give their kidney to you, even if it is just out of gratefulness, and not wanting to be with a person who rather watches you die than taking a risk. Those NTA people and the husband all want to have their cake and eat it too. But OP wants to share the cake. And she found someone who shares
the one that said "you took a sacred vow" really blew me away. I guess the husband didn't take any vows, just OP. i wonder what they would say in an opposite situation, that he has a right to her kidney because she's his wife (aka property)?
Load More Replies... Totally NTA, if you commit to spending your life with someone, to cherish and to love, in sickness and in health, I'd like to think you'd give up a kidney for them or *at least* get tested to do that, rather then see them suffer. No idea why people say YTA
@Joanna Dark. Do yourself a favor and go read that again. The husband never even got tested. He was fine with his wife dying. Id give whatever organ I could to my wife it would help her. you are incredibly delusional.
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