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Woman’s Had It With BIL Tearing Down Her Brother, Finally Claps Back During Thanksgiving Dinner
Holidays are all about enjoying them with your family, but these happy vibes can turn sour pretty quickly. That’s probably because we spend more time than usual with our relatives, so obviously, it can spark friction and sometimes even lead to unnecessary conflicts.
Just look at this family gathering during Thanksgiving, which instantly turned into a whole drama fest, all because of this woman’s brother-in-law. She finally put him in his place for constantly insulting her brother, but little did she know that it would reveal a darker secret. Scroll down to find out what really happened!
More info: Reddit
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Sometimes, the happy vibes during a holiday can instantly disappear because of bitter family drama
Image credits: Max Harlynking / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster’s 32-year-old brother-in-law always mocked her 22-year-old brother for having his life “sorted,” and did it again during Thanksgiving dinner
Image credits: Calm-Application1926
Image credits: Antonio Verdín / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Everyone brushed it off as humor, but the frustrated poster finally had enough and called her brother-in-law a self-loathing jerk
Image credits: Calm-Application1926
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It instantly sparked tension at the dinner table as her sister accused her of being rude and even asked her to apologize to him
Image credits: Calm-Application1926
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her brother thanked her, but the whole family said that she shouldn’t have said it, and the surprised poster soon found out why
Image credits: Calm-Application1926
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Apparently, her brother-in-law had violent tendencies, and he had emotionally mistreated and controlled her sister in the past
Image credits: Calm-Application1926
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Due to her retort, he got so aggressive that he broke things, which scared her sister so much that she called up their parents to take her away
Image credits: Calm-Application1926
However, much to the poster’s sorrow, her sister felt that “things would go back to normal” if she just apologized to the toxic man
Today, we dive into quite a serious story as the original poster (OP) tells us how Thanksgiving got dramatic with her family. The thing is, her 32-year-old brother-in-law, who had started a business, always insulted her 22-year-old brother, who was finishing premed, for having his life “sorted.” However, everyone brushed it off as “humor” when he did it again during Thanksgiving dinner.
The poster was so annoyed that she finally called him out for “projecting his issues on her brother,” and boy, did it annoy him. Her sister immediately jumped in and accused her of being rude. Although her brother thanked her, he said that he was used to it, which hurt her more. That’s why when her family asked her to apologize to the man, OP just refused.
Little did she know that it would reveal something dark about the guy. Much to her horror, the poster found out that he had a history of violence. Apparently, he had been emotionally cruel and controlling towards her sister in the past. The reason everyone walked on eggshells around him was not for his sake, but to protect her sister from his “anger.”
In fact, her retort sparked his fury, and he violently broke things to the point that it scared her sister. She called her parents and asked them to take her away, but when OP went to visit her, she was totally surprised. The poor woman truly believed that if the poster just apologized to her husband, things would go back to normal!
Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Sadly, stats show that nearly half of all women (48.4%) in the US experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Moreover, it has also been found that sometimes, emotional mistreatment is a stronger predictor of PTSD in women than even physical violence. It states that 7 out of 10 women who have faced this cruelty will display PTSD symptoms.
Experts also warn that emotional cruelty is often used to erode a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. They further state that it can create psychological dependency on the toxic partner. That’s exactly what happened in this story. The woman was quite willing to go back to her cruel husband if her sister just apologized to him.
Research has also revealed that unaddressed effects of emotional violence can lead to mental health conditions over time. These may include social anxiety, depression, eating disorders, complex PTSD, or, sometimes, it may leave the victim feeling shameful. It’s so sad to think that a man’s actions can actually ruin his wife’s life even when she is not at fault.
Also, the way that he kept mocking OP’s younger brother just for having his life sorted, shows that he was simply jealous of the younger guy. Overall, I think I definitely agree with Redditors that the guy is a massive red flag, and his wife needs therapy to realize what a bad apple he is. What about you, though? Do you agree with their verdict? Let us know in the comments below!
Folks online didn’t shy away from calling out the brother-in-law’s behavior, and many claimed that he was a massive red flag
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 hours ago
I was with someone like OP's BIL for 24 years. Over TWO DECADES. You CANNOT "just apologize and everything will go back to normal" because the other person's "normal" is LITERALLY ábusing you. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, grovel, abase yourself, or debase yourself - it's never enough, AND it never changes anything - all it does is make the person temporarily "calm down" and return to their NORMAL patterns of ábusing you. I used to make the most elaborate "apologies" for my "mistakes" (which were such things like not turning the stove to the exact notch he wanted it turned to) - I used to make apology cards, write apology poems; I even once "programmed" a song he liked into Minecraft (with redstone) as an apology gesture for something I did wrong. NOTHING changed. If OP "apologizes", all it means is that his sister will return to the same ábuse she has been enduring for years. IT WILL NOT CHANGE.
Ace 4 hours ago
Yes, a return to the "normal" level of emotional a***e and control is not a desirable outcome here. The very fact that the AH BIL is blaming his wife for her family's behaviour is a red flag big enough to make it clear she needs to get out of there.
Load More Replies...
Michael MacKinnon 4 hours ago
The YTAs and even the ESHs seem to be missing the main point that BIL is an a****r. Repeatedly yelling and breaking things in front of the victim (while maybe not crossing the line of physical contact) still makes them a victim. Sister needs to get out of this, maybe this is the opportunity, but apologizing is not the path towards it.
Marnie 5 hours ago
Just a quibble on wording: OP says the BIL has "violent tendencies....Nothing physical". Violence is by definition a physical act (i.e. physically harming another living creature). So, this makes no sense.
Nova Rook 4 hours ago
Organizations like the World Health Organization (WHO) define violence broadly as the intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, that either results in or has a high likelihood of resulting in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment or deprivation.
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 hours ago
I was with someone like OP's BIL for 24 years. Over TWO DECADES. You CANNOT "just apologize and everything will go back to normal" because the other person's "normal" is LITERALLY ábusing you. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, grovel, abase yourself, or debase yourself - it's never enough, AND it never changes anything - all it does is make the person temporarily "calm down" and return to their NORMAL patterns of ábusing you. I used to make the most elaborate "apologies" for my "mistakes" (which were such things like not turning the stove to the exact notch he wanted it turned to) - I used to make apology cards, write apology poems; I even once "programmed" a song he liked into Minecraft (with redstone) as an apology gesture for something I did wrong. NOTHING changed. If OP "apologizes", all it means is that his sister will return to the same ábuse she has been enduring for years. IT WILL NOT CHANGE.
Ace 4 hours ago
Yes, a return to the "normal" level of emotional a***e and control is not a desirable outcome here. The very fact that the AH BIL is blaming his wife for her family's behaviour is a red flag big enough to make it clear she needs to get out of there.
Load More Replies... Michael MacKinnon 4 hours ago
The YTAs and even the ESHs seem to be missing the main point that BIL is an a****r. Repeatedly yelling and breaking things in front of the victim (while maybe not crossing the line of physical contact) still makes them a victim. Sister needs to get out of this, maybe this is the opportunity, but apologizing is not the path towards it.
Marnie 5 hours ago
Just a quibble on wording: OP says the BIL has "violent tendencies....Nothing physical". Violence is by definition a physical act (i.e. physically harming another living creature). So, this makes no sense.
Nova Rook 4 hours ago
Organizations like the World Health Organization (WHO) define violence broadly as the intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, that either results in or has a high likelihood of resulting in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment or deprivation.
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