For parents and relatives of a newborn baby, almost nothing in the world is as important as that tiny little human. They’re growing and changing every single day, and it’s tempting for family members to visit every chance they get. But babies are fragile, and we have to remember to take certain precautions before seeing them.
One frustrated mother recently shared on Reddit that she has banned her husband’s family from seeing her child, after they deliberately disobeyed her visiting rules. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies from concerned readers.
A newborn baby is exciting for the entire family
Image credits: EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)
But this mother has decided her in-laws aren’t allowed to see the child until they understand not to put her at risk
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Unusual_Stomach_5574
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)
Babies can become ill very easily
When a new member of the family is born, it’s hard for anyone to keep their cool. Everyone wants to spoil the child, take as many photos as possible, cuddle her, sing to her and more. But as adults, we also have a responsibility to prioritize the child’s safety. With their immune systems just starting to develop, babies are prone to coming down with colds during their first year of life.
In fact, Mary Anne Jackson, M.D., a pediatric expert at Children’s Mercy Hospital and Clinics in Kansas City, told Parents.com that babies often have 6-12 infections before they even turn one. “That’s up to 120 days of the year they may be sick,” Jackson noted.
Some of the symptoms an ill baby might develop are fussiness, fever, coughing, sneezing, reduced appetite, difficulty breastfeeding or taking a bottle and trouble falling or staying asleep, Healthline explains. And while common colds aren’t dangerous in newborns, parents should always take them seriously, as they can quickly escalate into conditions such as pneumonia or croup.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
It’s wise to keep visitors to a minimum for the first few months of a child’s life
Because it’s so easy for newborns to become ill, it’s important for parents and visitors to take precautions when seeing them. According to Dr. Marcia VanVleet, MD, MPH, there are no hard and fast rules about when babies can have visitors. But aside from immediate family or anyone who can help out with the baby early on, she recommends not inviting visitors over until the child is 3 months old.
“They’ve never been sick, never been exposed to illnesses, and as adults, we have to be careful and not come around them if we’re feeling even a little off,” Dr. VanVleet explains. “Babies can’t get a flu shot until they are 6 months old, and while they are carrying some of their mother’s immunities, it’s better not to take the chance.”
When visitors do come, it’s important that they call ahead and coordinate with the parents, wash their hands often before and during the visit, ensure they haven’t been exposed to illness for at least two weeks before visiting, make sure their vaccines are up to date, consider wearing a mask around the newborn, refrain from kissing the baby, and avoid staying for too long.
Image credits: Marcus Aurelius (not the actual photo)
Parents have the right to set boundaries on who is allowed to see their children and when
While it can be challenging to set boundaries with family members, the most important thing parents of a newborn can do is prioritize their child’s safety. Dr. VanVleet recommends that moms and dads set ground rules with visitors about when they can come and what the prerequisites are for their visits.
It may be uncomfortable to tell them it’s not appropriate to see the child yet, but parents can help relatives feel more involved in the baby’s life by sending lots of photos and videos, sending cards with the newborn’s hand or footprint and making plans for when they will be able to visit in the future. Family members can also send gifts for the child and parents if they’re not able to deliver them in person yet. Just because they’re sending love from a distance doesn’t mean they’re not an important part of the child’s life.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother has the right to keep her husband’s family away for 6 months to a year? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing family conflicts that come up when a new baby is born, we recommend this piece next!
Readers assured the mother that she made the right decision to protect her child
My daughter came home after six weeks in the NICU (wife's water broke at 26 weeks, delivered at 28 weeks). We have her with us and she is laying down blue and not breathing. My wife resuscitated her and we rushed her to the hospital. She had gotten the flu, likely from an older sibling (no, we never blamed anyone). Had my wife not known what to do, our baby would have died... saying that, f**k those in-laws! They knowingly ignored the safety of that baby. Had it died, do they think there would ever have been forgiveness?
They probably would have said, "It was God's will to call her home," then asked for the baby furniture so someone else could furnish their own nursery without spending a cent.
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As someone who had to take my best friend and her daughter to the hospital countless times for RSV that family is beyond selfish and Beyond stupid. RSV is no joke! Babies die all the time from that. Yes, their immune systems need to be built up, but not like that.
NTA nah your good don't let them anywhere near your baby. Medicine is pretty advanced, but that s**t is still life and death for an infant. You made the right call Mom.
My daughter came home after six weeks in the NICU (wife's water broke at 26 weeks, delivered at 28 weeks). We have her with us and she is laying down blue and not breathing. My wife resuscitated her and we rushed her to the hospital. She had gotten the flu, likely from an older sibling (no, we never blamed anyone). Had my wife not known what to do, our baby would have died... saying that, f**k those in-laws! They knowingly ignored the safety of that baby. Had it died, do they think there would ever have been forgiveness?
They probably would have said, "It was God's will to call her home," then asked for the baby furniture so someone else could furnish their own nursery without spending a cent.
Load More Replies... As someone who had to take my best friend and her daughter to the hospital countless times for RSV that family is beyond selfish and Beyond stupid. RSV is no joke! Babies die all the time from that. Yes, their immune systems need to be built up, but not like that.
NTA nah your good don't let them anywhere near your baby. Medicine is pretty advanced, but that s**t is still life and death for an infant. You made the right call Mom.
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