Come to think of it, each season has its own weather jokes. Spring brings allergies and wet sneakers, summer is for freaky tanlines and mosquitoes, fall is for being under the weather, and winter is for freezing your behind off. Yeah, we know, those are all the cons of the seasons, but you wouldn’t want to make funny weather jokes out of something that’s genuinely pleasant, right? We thought so! So, let us present to you our magnificent list dedicated to jokes about the weather - there’s a good chance that you’ll find most of them highly relatable.
Basically, weather jokes can be divided into two groups. One would be for when it’s hot and the other for when it’s cold. Now, hot weather jokes might sound alluring when you’re in the depths of winter, but truthfully, thinking about being sweaty all the time and having zero energy to do something due to a heatwave is all but pleasant and inviting. As for the cold weather jokes… Well, it’s never fun to imagine yourself being dressed in so many layers that you become Patrick the Starfish and only having the mobility to be rolled around rather than to walk on your own two feet. Sorry, we did try to come up with redeeming points for extremely hot and freezing cold weather, but there seems to be none! All the better, though, as this way, we get more silly jokes to laugh at.
Now, scroll down below to check out our selection of the very best weather jokes ever. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote! And since we’re pretty sure your friends would like to laugh at these hilarious jokes, too, share this article with them.
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Why do we Find Weather Jokes so Funny?
You know what, this is a no-brainer at all! Even those of us living in bustling cities have no way of escaping the happenings outside our walls. Yup, although you might be cuddled up on your couch in your favorite PJs on a cold winter night or basking in the glory of your AC when it’s scorching hot outside, the weather still very much affects your life.
As with any huge part of our lives – be it food, love, or sleep – we always like to dedicate some good quality jokes to them. Partly because we establish control over things we cannot otherwise influence, thus making them simpler to understand, and partly because laughing at shoddy weather makes it that much easier to bear!
Arguably, a huge chunk of us hate freezing weather more than one that’s pleasantly warm, and you’ll see that jokes about cold weather dominate the ranks on our list. There are even winter jokes for kids in here because even they get bored of all the sledding and skiing and unbearably short days!
Q: Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
A: Because she expected some change in the weather.
Why are the Weather Jokes so big in England?
A cliche we’ve seen so many times in movies and a trope so often used about small chat - the English and their seemingly endless fascination with whatever weather is outside. Be it foggy or soggy; it seems that Britons never lack descriptions or weather jokes to talk about conditions outside, and there are plenty of excellent jokes about the English weather.
If you found yourself which weather joke or a phrase is the most commonly used by the weather experts across the pond, it’s this one:
It’s raining cats and dogs.
It’s true! Over 2,000 Brits were asked to name the phrase they used the most to describe the weather, and it seems they’re most perturbed by rain. Aren’t we all, though?
Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch?
A: Icebergers.
I could see that on the menu of some burger place somewhere :).
What Makes a Good Weather Joke?
Why, a dash of snow and a couple of sun rays! But all the lousy jokes aside, there are some essential parts to creating a good joke, and weather jokes are no exception. So, here’s what makes an average quip into a hilarious joke:
Element of surprise – disrupting all expectations, a plot twist, or a surprise right at the end of the joke is what usually makes everyone laugh;
Timing – and by timing, we don’t necessarily mean the right time for your excellent joke, but the way you deliver it. Pause before the plot twists and watch the laughs doubling.
Relatability – now, this is especially important when talking about weather jokes! A real southerner would never get a joke about being snowbound, while a northerner might even get a little bit sad because of your joke on warm, sunny days.
Wordplay – or weather puns! Funny puns always get people laughing, so if there’s a chance, incorporate one into your awesome joke.
And always remember that a sense of humor is a very subjective thing, and some people might like your jokes about the weather, while others might find them bland. But that’s a-okay! Keep your silly jokes clean, inoffensive, and respectful, and you’ll hit the mark.
Also, if you’d like to be prepared for any situation with a relatable joke, continue scrolling through our funny weather jokes list!
"Vacationing in Vermont, I picked up the local paper to check out the forecast. It read: Today: Sunny, 76. Tonight: Not so sunny, 55." - Norrine Trono
According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we'll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.
Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
Because if they travelled slowly, we’d have to call them slow-i-canes.
There’s a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.
It’s called Monday.
"On a fishing trip to a remote lake in Northern Quebec, I asked the outfitter, “Do you stay here during the winter?” “No,” he said. “The snow gets too deep. We can’t get supplies in. Like many Canadians, I go south for the winter.” “Oh,” I said. “Where do you go?” “Vermont.”"
Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
"We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out." - Lew Schneider
"Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation." - Kin Hubbard
"It’s been raining so much in Los Angeles that the Chia Pet I threw in the garbage is now blocking my entire driveway." - Jay Leno
"Why does moisture destroy leather? When it’s raining, cows don’t go up to the farmhouse yelling, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”" - Jerry Seinfeld
Concerned about what will happen to cities if the polar ice caps melt? Don't be. New names have already been chosen.
Atlantis City, New Jersey.
Pariscope, France.
Sail 'Em, Massachusetts.
Floodelphia, Pennsylvania.
Helsunki, Finland.
Sao Marco... Paulo, Brazil.
"For her summer job, my 18-year-old daughter arranged interviews at several day-care centers. At one meeting, she sat down on one of the kiddie seats, no simple task for most people. The interview went well, and at the end, the day-care center director asked the standard question, "Can you give me one good reason we should hire you?" "Because I fit in the chairs." She got the job." - Judith L. McKay
“A friend of mine did his pilot’s exam just after a storm and flew through a rainbow. He passed with flying colors.”
Why can’t meteorologists forecast the weather?
They are too busy studying comets and meteors.
What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?
Hurricanes with cataracts.
If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can’t see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining.
If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.
Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?
To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail.
Q: What did the hail storm say to the roof?
A: Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles.
"No, I’m not walking on string-cheese stilts. These are just my first bare legs of the season." - Una LaMarche
"If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him." - Bob Hope
"While editing announcements for a newspaper, I came across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma. Aside from all the wonderful activities the kids could enjoy, such as canoeing, swimming, crafts and more, it promised that its lakefront property offered something the kids probably did not expect: "breathtaking views."" - Christy Nichols
If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
The conductor.
"It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs."
Q: Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
A: Udder disaster!
"As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”" - Phil Noyes
"We all grew up in a town on the New Jersey shore and spent our summers at the beach, swimming, surfing, hanging out with friends. One of my friends loved the season so much, we began calling him Mr. Summertime. "What happens when summer is over?" someone asked. I thought for a minute, then said, "In September he becomes the Fall Guy."" - J. Cummings
"I was getting ready for a tag sale one summer day. Since it was so humid out, I decided to stay inside my air-conditioned house and mark the special stickers I had bought for the sale. Then I slapped them on my blouse, ran outside, stuck them on the appropriate items and rushed back inside. I did this until every item was labeled. Later that day a UPS man came by the house with a delivery. I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he seemed ill at ease. It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker still attached to the front of my blouse. It read "Make me an offer."" -Mary E. Koppelmann
"While in the men's room at a beach park in Florida, I noticed they had a plastic baby-changing table installed on the wall. Apparently, some sportsmen had co-opted this politically correct amenity for their own use. Above the table was a sign saying: "It is unlawful to clean fish on this table."" - Cliff Revell
"When I overheard one of my cashiers tell a customer, "We haven't had it for a while, and I doubt we'll be getting it soon," I quickly assured the customer that we would have whatever it was she wanted by next week. After she left, I read the cashier the riot act."
"Never tell the customer that we're out of anything. Tell them we'll have it next week," I instructed her. "Now, what did she want?"
"Rain."
What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze.
"It was so hot in Beverly Hills, people were frying egg whites on the sidewalk." - Matt Wohlfarth
"On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die."" - Quin Gilbert
"My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods. "Listen to me, Matthew," his mother said sharply. "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?" Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, "Okay. Disney World."" - Leah Hallenbeck
"The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends — generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. "Well," he replied, "you better start thinking about it. You'll be thirty before you know it." "But I'm closer to twenty than to thirty," I protested. "I won't be thirty for eight more years." "I see," he said, smiling. "And when will you be twenty again?"" - Marshall K. Essig
"On a recent vacation at a resort with my in-laws, we planned to spend an afternoon at the pool with our kids. We wanted to bring our own drinks, but were unsure of the hotel's policy. My brother-in-law called the front desk, and assuming everyone was familiar with the brand of ice chest he had, asked if it was all right if he brought a Playmate to the pool. After a pause the clerk asked, "Does she have her own towel?"" - Tina M. Digiovanna
"Some people just aren't happy unless they have something to complain about. I stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the beach in California -- an idyllic spot, you would think. But while I was waiting to check out, I heard the manager ask another guest, "Did you enjoy your stay?" "Not really," the man said grimly. "I'm sorry to hear that," the manager apologized. "What was the problem?" "The surf was too loud."" - Daniel Vargas
"I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in Hawaii with the Air Force. He was explaining how the troops were learning to scuba-dive. They used the buddy system, he said, and occasionally dived into shark-infested waters. Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, "What do you do when you see a shark?" Said my son, "Swim faster than my buddy."" - Joan Nozkowski
"I was with a friend in a café when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What good are car alarms when no one pays any attention to them?" I wondered aloud. "Some are quite effective," my friend corrected me. "Last summer, my teenager spent a lot of time at the neighbors'. Whenever I wanted him home, I'd go out to our driveway and jostle his car."" - Sheila Moore
"Before heading on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long the protective eye shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye. Gazing at myself in the mirror the next day, I thought, "Man, I look like a clown." I had almost convinced myself I was overreacting -- until I was in line at the grocery store. I felt a tug at my shirt and looked down to see a toddler staring up at me, "Are you giving out balloons?" he asked." - Nina Secviar
"Our first day at a resort my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?" "Sure," she said, "but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first."" - Louis Allard
"Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave." Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?"" - Janice Palko
"Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead."
"He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our phone machine click on."
"Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house."
