Vegan Bride Uninvites All Meat-Eaters, Goes Viral For All The Wrong Reasons
Interview
Weddings are supposed to be about happy couples celebrating their love for one another. It’s their Big Day and they should enjoy the spotlight. However, if they sideline their guests or treat them poorly, it can backfire hugely. Like having their bridezilla story go viral on a bunch of social networks and in the media.
Case in point, one vegan bridezilla earned the ire of the internet after uninviting her omnivore friends and family from her wedding. Then, she bragged about it on the ‘Vegan Revolution’ Facebook page. This is proof that if you want to convince someone to change their diet (whether due to health or ethical concerns), looking down on them won’t help. Scroll down for the full story.
Bored Panda got in touch with redditor u/Lockraemono, one of the internet users who shared the entire discussion with members of the Reddit community. They were kind enough to answer our questions.
One vegan ‘bridezilla’ got a lot of hate on social media for how she treated her would-be wedding guests
Image credits: nikki gibson (not the actual photo)
She banned all omnivore family and friends from the event, and then bragged about it online
Image credits: Gelatin_MonKey
Here’s how some guests, who got uninvited, reacted to the entire situation
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
The bride later updated her original post
Image credits: Lockraemono
Here’s what some internet users had to say when they read the bridezilla’s posts
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Some of her former guests were unwilling to stay silent while she attacked them
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Chasse Sauvage (not the actual photo)
The bride continued to share her perspective about veganism
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Meanwhile, other people kept calling her out for how she handled everything
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Image credits: Lockraemono
Being overly judgmental and looking down on others is a horrible way to promote veganism. It only hurts the cause
People embrace veganism for a number of reasons. Some folks are big supporters of animal welfare and also want to protect the environment. Others might have changed their diet due to health concerns or simply because they prefer vegan food.
However, if your aim is to convince someone to become vegan, bashing them, yelling how they’re ‘murderers,’ and then bragging about how superior you are isn’t the way to do it.
When attacked or insulted, most people are going to get defensive or double down on their omnivore/pescatarian/vegetarian lifestyle instead.
Others might push back and argue their case. In any case, it’s not a good approach. To put it bluntly, most people dislike being treated rudely and accused out of the blue. They’re also probably not big fans of being uninvited from a wedding at the very last minute because they eat both plant and animal matter.
A more diplomatic way to show how awesome veganism can be would have been to have all the dishes at the wedding be vegan. Go all-out with the caterers on this one. Have a wide range of delicious, aesthetic dishes that even the biggest steak lovers would enjoy.
That’s how you get through to people: with delicious food and a friendly, welcoming atmosphere, not by acting judgy and holier-than-thou.
As BBC Future points out, omnivores tend to get along easier with vegans and vegetarians who choose their lifestyles for health reasons. Meanwhile, they generally feel that vegans and vegetarians who embrace their lifestyles because of ethical concerns are quite irritating.
This is why powerful vegan adverts that show how animals suffer at the hands of the meat industry can often backfire. Yes, some people will become more conscious of their actions and will either stop eating meat or reduce their intake.
Image credits: Hermes Rivera (not the actual photo)
Uninviting someone from your wedding is a big step. There have to be serious reasons to do so
However, others, when faced with this moral discomfort, will simply continue living the way they had before. They’ll look for ways to justify their actions and deal with the cognitive dissonance that they’re suddenly becoming aware of inside of them.
Uninviting guests is probably going to be awkward, no matter the situation. At the end of the day, it’s up to the happy couple to decide if they really need to shorten the guest list. However, they have to be honest about their reasons for doing so.
For example, if your guest turns out to be extremely disruptive and toxic, it may be grounds for asking them to sit your Big Day out. The same can be said about folks you’ve had massive arguments with in the run-up to the wedding.
Another reason to shorten the guest list would be if you’ve broken the budget or if your savings have taken a huge hit recently. This, of course, is understandable. However, it’s best to consider how many guests you can reasonably wine and dine at the reception before you send out all of those fancy RSVP invites.
According to ‘Bride & Groom Direct,’ it’s best if you uninvite someone in person. Give them as much of a heads-up as possible. You really don’t want them to spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on flights, clothing, and accommodation for a wedding you don’t want them to attend in the first place.
In the meantime, don’t play around the issue. Be as straightforward (but polite) as you can. They deserve to know the truth about why you’re uninviting them. However, you should not feel like you have to justify your decision: don’t argue with them.
If you genuinely want to change your relationship with the person in the future, give them a chance to change. Invite them to brunch or dinner after your wedding and honeymoon. See how you feel about the person then.
Image credits: Al Elmes (not the actual photo)
“Exposing people to actually delicious vegan food would be a more productive step since that doesn’t invoke guilt, which makes people defensive”
Bored Panda asked redditor u/Lockraemono for their thoughts on why this particular story keeps going viral on the internet, time and time again.
According to them, the story “probably keeps cropping back up because it feeds into the narrative that vegans are insufferable, and folks love to hate on vegans. Not that I find vegans insufferable, but that’s the reason I think it gets so much traction.”
Meanwhile, the redditor shared their thoughts on what the vegan bride could have done to stay true to her lifestyle while also making her wedding guests happy.
“Make the wedding vegan (food, venue, decoration, outfits all conforming to vegan ethics), or don’t associate with non-vegan folks all the time rather than just on her wedding day,” u/Lockraemono suggested.
The internet user also shed some light on how someone might go about convincing others to give veganism a try.
“I don’t think it’s a thing you can convince someone of unless they’re already on the fence as it’s such a personal choice, and people make it for so many reasons,” they said.
“Points about the environmental impact of the meat industry, or health benefits, could be mildly convincing. Probably, exposing people to actually delicious vegan food would be a more productive step since that doesn’t invoke guilt, which makes people defensive.”
Here’s how some other internet users reacted to the story as it continued to go viral
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I can feel the crazy and the stupid oozing through my screen.
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I don´t hate vegans, you do you. But if they calling me a murderer just because I continue eating meat they can f*ck right off.
I hate one vegan but only because he's a cockbag. Not because he eats kale.
Load More Replies...
In one of the comments she said her family is anti-vegan, but if that's true it's because she made them that way. I believe most omnivores are indifferent about vegans, as long as the vegans extend the same courtesy to omnivores.
Yep her insistence that she tried to educate them for two years reads as “pestered them incessantly”
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He may be partaking of a big cup of the crazy Kool-aid himself.
Load More Replies...
I'm reading this differently. That last FB comment has me wondering if this girl has been brainwashed and forced into this marriage and has been conditioned to cut all ties from family in such a dramatical and absurd way. Read the comment. She's 20, moved away from home, CHANGED HER NAME, was LC or NC with family, they were overjoyed to receive an invite and then it was retracted following such drama? This screams some sort of abuse to me
Changing names and disowning family to join a group centered around extreme social/political views is very popular with the current 25-and-under crowd. Brainwashed yes, forced -- doubt it.
Load More Replies...
The woman isn't a vegan because of moral or ethical reasons, she is a vegan as a cult. It has every hallmark of a cult, including the claim that they are Being Oppressed Because of Their Beliefs, accusing non-cult members of made up atrocities, and cutting off all friends and family who are not part of the cult. I wonder which veganism website or organization did the woman join that encourages veganism as a cult.
The inane and insane tone of her rants points to cultish behavior too...as well as nutritional deficiencies. Most recent medical studies have concluded that vegan diets are not healthy for humans, who are genetically and evolutionarily omnivorous, and recommend a plant-forward, omnivorous, whole foods diet.
Load More Replies...
I laud peoples' attempts at leading an ethical life but few go deeply into researching the many common products that use animal by-products. After less that 10 minutes I found these: tires, plywood, Wine, beer and cider, Orange Juice, Sugar, Bread and bagels, Chewing Gum, Disposable Razors, Condoms, Toothpaste, Shampoo and conditioner, Make-up, Many kinds of Medication, Shopping bags, Electronics (gelatin is used in metal processing to improve the metal’s structure - like cadmium in batteries.), Fabric softener, Dijon Mustard
They should also research how much habitat would have to be destroyed to grow crops if everyone went vegan. Cattle can co-exist with wildlife nicely, and graze a wide variety of native vegetation, but when land is cultivated the farmer removes everything that's growing there to make room for the crop.
Load More Replies...
Dad very glad he has to pay a grand total of $200, tops. Some tofu on a stick, a random celebrant, and you can talk her into wearing a hessian sack as the only cruelty-free option.
Sounds like she just doesn't want anyone who is not vegan in her life. She is making a decision that she is entitled to. Don't know why she is posting it online though, just quietly make the decision that you will no longer communicate with anyone who is not vegan and move on with your life.
Well, the stuck her foot in it by inviting all these people first … and THEN disinviting them as the wedding approached. Can’t figger out WHY she invited people only to disinvite them, not to mention her bridesmaids! What the hell is she smoking?
Load More Replies...
5 years ago? Does anyone have an update? Was there an actual wedding with 3 guests? Are they still married? Is she still vegan? So many questions.
Load More Replies...
Vegan, derivative of Vegetarian, the etymology dates back from the hunter gathering days, the birth of civilisation. In classic neolithic it means Bad Hunter
I’m gonna save “bad hunter” because it keeps making me giggle! 😆 But then so does this brain-dead “bride” saying she doesn’t want people who kill animals at her wedding. The only animals I kill are the rats around the property. I live in NYC. Even if I WANTED to hunt my dinner, the only place I have to hunt is the Bronx Zoo. She, on the other hand, is killing all manner of plants left and right. She’s the murderer; I am not.
Load More Replies...
I've been to a few vegetarian weddings before (not fully vegan). They had meat dishes reserved in a separate spot for those who can't just have a vegetable meal alone but astonishingly, the vegetarian dishes were the ones that needed refreshing most of the time (not too say meat dishes wasn't enjoyed but weren't replenished as much as vegetarian dishes). The newlyweds always considered others but also took the chance to promote their lifestyle as much as possible. In the end, everyone had a great time and went home with fulfilled stomachs. Bridezilla over here is just a plain killjoy. Meat-eating murderers with blood on our hands, huh? Well, call me Jack the Carver then because I'm about to carve myself a side of delicious chicken and lamb shawarma. SMH!
What's a four letter word used to refer to certain women that ends in "unt?"
"Aunt," but I like the way you think.
Load More Replies...
So she could very publicly uninvite them, of course.
Load More Replies...
People like her are why people have negative feelings towards vegans.
When people save you the effort of cutting them out of your life by cutting you out first.
No awareness of California's water plight while enjoying your almonds and avocados? No empathy for the mistreatment of the migrant workers who pick and pack your veggies? How about the foreign children laboring for pennies a day to make your clothes? Or who mined the rare minerals for your cell phone so you could rant online about you self-perceived superiority? If we all stopped eating meat tomorrow, who's going to pay to feed and care for the billions of domestic animals around the world? They can't be released into the wild, you know. What about the people who will starve or experience nutritional deficiencies without meat and dairy in their diet? Purists suck.
I'm reminded of the college roommate I had, who made it clear she was only there long enough "to get her MRS degree (get engaged)." She was raised in a devout Mormon family, and accepted the proposal of a lapsed Catholic. His mother was talking to a coworker, who was Mormon. Coworker said, "You realize, if they're getting married in a Mormon temple (that was the plan), that none of your family can actually attend the ceremony, right? Only Mormons are allowed inside the temple." He'd already agreed to convert to Mormonism to make her happy, but apparently she'd neglected to tell him that his entire family would have to convert too, otherwise they couldn't attend the wedding. And she was adamant about getting married in a Mormon temple. I never did find out if they went through with it or not. For his sake, I'm hoping not.
Some vegans can be like the Taliban. Do it MY way or begone! As a murderer, if I was uninvited, there would be no wedding gift, nor any subsequent family gatherings (as she changed her name, therefore not family anymore). She had better not extend an olive branch in 5 years when she needs some free babysitting.
This bridezilla would be funny if she wasn't so irritating. Leaves home and changes her name? Uninvites you to the wedding? No wedding gift, not a family member of murderers anymore. Just don't extend an olive branch in 5 years when you need a babysitter.
Whatever her reasons in this particular case - a wedding shouldn't be for the family but for the couple getting married. If they don't want anyone there it's their right, it's their day. I don't buy the need of having to share your wedding with people you don't like.
If she did not want them there, she could have not invited them in the first place. She invited a bunch of omnivores, and now she's very publicly uninviting them to make a deranged point about veganism.
Load More Replies... I can feel the crazy and the stupid oozing through my screen.
Load More Replies... I don´t hate vegans, you do you. But if they calling me a murderer just because I continue eating meat they can f*ck right off.
I hate one vegan but only because he's a cockbag. Not because he eats kale.
Load More Replies... In one of the comments she said her family is anti-vegan, but if that's true it's because she made them that way. I believe most omnivores are indifferent about vegans, as long as the vegans extend the same courtesy to omnivores.
Yep her insistence that she tried to educate them for two years reads as “pestered them incessantly”
Load More Replies... He may be partaking of a big cup of the crazy Kool-aid himself.
Load More Replies... I'm reading this differently. That last FB comment has me wondering if this girl has been brainwashed and forced into this marriage and has been conditioned to cut all ties from family in such a dramatical and absurd way. Read the comment. She's 20, moved away from home, CHANGED HER NAME, was LC or NC with family, they were overjoyed to receive an invite and then it was retracted following such drama? This screams some sort of abuse to me
Changing names and disowning family to join a group centered around extreme social/political views is very popular with the current 25-and-under crowd. Brainwashed yes, forced -- doubt it.
Load More Replies... The woman isn't a vegan because of moral or ethical reasons, she is a vegan as a cult. It has every hallmark of a cult, including the claim that they are Being Oppressed Because of Their Beliefs, accusing non-cult members of made up atrocities, and cutting off all friends and family who are not part of the cult. I wonder which veganism website or organization did the woman join that encourages veganism as a cult.
The inane and insane tone of her rants points to cultish behavior too...as well as nutritional deficiencies. Most recent medical studies have concluded that vegan diets are not healthy for humans, who are genetically and evolutionarily omnivorous, and recommend a plant-forward, omnivorous, whole foods diet.
Load More Replies... I laud peoples' attempts at leading an ethical life but few go deeply into researching the many common products that use animal by-products. After less that 10 minutes I found these: tires, plywood, Wine, beer and cider, Orange Juice, Sugar, Bread and bagels, Chewing Gum, Disposable Razors, Condoms, Toothpaste, Shampoo and conditioner, Make-up, Many kinds of Medication, Shopping bags, Electronics (gelatin is used in metal processing to improve the metal’s structure - like cadmium in batteries.), Fabric softener, Dijon Mustard
They should also research how much habitat would have to be destroyed to grow crops if everyone went vegan. Cattle can co-exist with wildlife nicely, and graze a wide variety of native vegetation, but when land is cultivated the farmer removes everything that's growing there to make room for the crop.
Load More Replies... Dad very glad he has to pay a grand total of $200, tops. Some tofu on a stick, a random celebrant, and you can talk her into wearing a hessian sack as the only cruelty-free option.
Sounds like she just doesn't want anyone who is not vegan in her life. She is making a decision that she is entitled to. Don't know why she is posting it online though, just quietly make the decision that you will no longer communicate with anyone who is not vegan and move on with your life.
Well, the stuck her foot in it by inviting all these people first … and THEN disinviting them as the wedding approached. Can’t figger out WHY she invited people only to disinvite them, not to mention her bridesmaids! What the hell is she smoking?
Load More Replies... 5 years ago? Does anyone have an update? Was there an actual wedding with 3 guests? Are they still married? Is she still vegan? So many questions.
Load More Replies... Vegan, derivative of Vegetarian, the etymology dates back from the hunter gathering days, the birth of civilisation. In classic neolithic it means Bad Hunter
I’m gonna save “bad hunter” because it keeps making me giggle! 😆 But then so does this brain-dead “bride” saying she doesn’t want people who kill animals at her wedding. The only animals I kill are the rats around the property. I live in NYC. Even if I WANTED to hunt my dinner, the only place I have to hunt is the Bronx Zoo. She, on the other hand, is killing all manner of plants left and right. She’s the murderer; I am not.
Load More Replies... I've been to a few vegetarian weddings before (not fully vegan). They had meat dishes reserved in a separate spot for those who can't just have a vegetable meal alone but astonishingly, the vegetarian dishes were the ones that needed refreshing most of the time (not too say meat dishes wasn't enjoyed but weren't replenished as much as vegetarian dishes). The newlyweds always considered others but also took the chance to promote their lifestyle as much as possible. In the end, everyone had a great time and went home with fulfilled stomachs. Bridezilla over here is just a plain killjoy. Meat-eating murderers with blood on our hands, huh? Well, call me Jack the Carver then because I'm about to carve myself a side of delicious chicken and lamb shawarma. SMH!
What's a four letter word used to refer to certain women that ends in "unt?"
"Aunt," but I like the way you think.
Load More Replies... So she could very publicly uninvite them, of course.
Load More Replies... People like her are why people have negative feelings towards vegans.
When people save you the effort of cutting them out of your life by cutting you out first.
No awareness of California's water plight while enjoying your almonds and avocados? No empathy for the mistreatment of the migrant workers who pick and pack your veggies? How about the foreign children laboring for pennies a day to make your clothes? Or who mined the rare minerals for your cell phone so you could rant online about you self-perceived superiority? If we all stopped eating meat tomorrow, who's going to pay to feed and care for the billions of domestic animals around the world? They can't be released into the wild, you know. What about the people who will starve or experience nutritional deficiencies without meat and dairy in their diet? Purists suck.
I'm reminded of the college roommate I had, who made it clear she was only there long enough "to get her MRS degree (get engaged)." She was raised in a devout Mormon family, and accepted the proposal of a lapsed Catholic. His mother was talking to a coworker, who was Mormon. Coworker said, "You realize, if they're getting married in a Mormon temple (that was the plan), that none of your family can actually attend the ceremony, right? Only Mormons are allowed inside the temple." He'd already agreed to convert to Mormonism to make her happy, but apparently she'd neglected to tell him that his entire family would have to convert too, otherwise they couldn't attend the wedding. And she was adamant about getting married in a Mormon temple. I never did find out if they went through with it or not. For his sake, I'm hoping not.
Some vegans can be like the Taliban. Do it MY way or begone! As a murderer, if I was uninvited, there would be no wedding gift, nor any subsequent family gatherings (as she changed her name, therefore not family anymore). She had better not extend an olive branch in 5 years when she needs some free babysitting.
This bridezilla would be funny if she wasn't so irritating. Leaves home and changes her name? Uninvites you to the wedding? No wedding gift, not a family member of murderers anymore. Just don't extend an olive branch in 5 years when you need a babysitter.
Whatever her reasons in this particular case - a wedding shouldn't be for the family but for the couple getting married. If they don't want anyone there it's their right, it's their day. I don't buy the need of having to share your wedding with people you don't like.
If she did not want them there, she could have not invited them in the first place. She invited a bunch of omnivores, and now she's very publicly uninviting them to make a deranged point about veganism.
Load More Replies...
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