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Any grownup should have a wide range of skills at their beck and call. Everyone should know how to take care of themselves and their loved ones, whether it’s just another mundane day or an actual emergency. Stuff like knowing how to sew on a button, cooking a meal that’s more sophisticated than making cereal, taking care of your verdant garden (and what not to do, say, if you come across a bear).

Unfortunately, some people still divide up some activities and behaviors according to gender, based on some pretty ambiguous assumptions. This idea sparked a discussion online after redditor u/international_red07 asked everyone to share some “unmanly” things that are actually the opposite. Scroll down to read what people had to say about this. 

#1

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise I have a beard that would make sasquatch jealous. I like scotch whiskey, Dominican cigars, and American motorcycles. I worked most of my adult life as an ironworker. But none of that is the manly part:

When my daughter was 3 to about 6 or 7, it was common for me to go to work with my nails painted every color of the rainbow.

Letting your little girl paint your nails is manly as f**k, gentlemen.

punksmostlydead , halfpoint Report

#2

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Supporting women's rights. Real men don't need to control women.

sagan_drinks_cosmos , RODNAE Productions Report

#3

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise If someone tells you something is “unmanly”, tell them a real man would be secure enough in their manliness to not give a s**t what they think.

TheMan5991 , Hannah Nelson Report

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Samuel Pelatan
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's not for men ? Well, i'm a man and i'm doing it, what else do you need for it to be manly ?"

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It’s really peculiar to realize that some everyday tasks get stuck with labels like “manly” or “unmanly.” We’re talking about basic skills that help someone be self-sufficient.

Everyone needs to eat, so you’d better learn how to cook and bake. You might need to mend your clothes, so knowing how to use a needle-and-thread simply makes sense. Who doesn’t enjoy watching their vegetable garden thrive? And why should someone’s gender determine whether or not they should like singing or dancing as a hobby? Someone’s gender doesn’t come into it—these are all very human things to do.

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#4

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Ordering a fruity drink.

“A real man orders a beer!”

No, a real man orders whatever the f**k he wants.

Incredible_Mandible , cottonbro studio Report

#5

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise When I was a kid I was once at a clothing store and I saw a pink men’s shirt. I said out loud “what kind of men wear pink shirts???” and my mom said “secure men”. For some reason that always stuck with me.

anon , Jimmy Jimmy Report

#6

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise "NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT"

-MR. TORGUE

smiling_at_cheese , Ketut Subiyanto Report

When you start attaching gender to these activities and skills, you end up making everyone less independent. At the same time, you put people under a lot of pressure to ‘conform’ to how their social circle or culture views masculinity and femininity. Now imagine the stress someone has to deal with when they’re faced with entirely different cultural expectations when they move somewhere else or join a new social circle.

Objectively, boiling an egg (cooking) isn’t manly or unmanly. Neither is moving your feet (dancing), using your vocal cords (singing), or watering flora (gardening). However, our surroundings, family, and upbringing shape how we perceive these activities.

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#7

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise I had guys tell me it's unmanly to use/carry an umbrella.

Those wet, insecure bastards can go screw themselves!

IntergalacticPopTart , Nikita Ananjevs Report

#8

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Being an attentive and involved father. I can change a diaper one handed and I'm proud of that fact.

probabletrump , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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Trash Panda 🦝
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's give a shout out to all the fathers who don't call spending time with their kids "babysitting"!! 🙌🙌

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#9

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Reflection and apologizing when you're wrong.

playdoughfaygo , Alex Green Report

According to a 2006 study done by The Pennsylvania State University, the social rules of gender continue to play “a prominent role” in leisure activities like sports. The researchers found that “girls experience greater social latitude in their sport participation than boys.” In other words, society sees it as more acceptable for women to participate in masculine activities than the reverse.

“Girls and women are at less risk for gender stigma if they pursue masculine activities than boys and men if they pursue feminine activities. This may be due to a higher social value and status assigned to masculine activities and the efforts on the part of girls and women to gain respect by achieving in a traditionally masculine field,” they write.

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Broadly speaking, boys and men who stray from masculine norms raise questions about their masculinity. So they have less flexibility when it comes to participating in “unmanly” sports and recreational activities.

#10

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Sewing. When you're stuck on a boat in the Pacific during WWII, you'd better know how to stich up your own uniform. Source: both of my grandfathers.

DrSmartron , Ron Lach Report

#11

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise I love growing flowers, sewing, cooking, baking, and other activities that are viewed by some as "girly" activities. I also love traditionally manly things like fishing, building furniture, mowing my lawn, etc.

A long time ago I was upset by some of my friends ribbing me for liking to do "girly" things. My dad handled this by teaching me that the manliest thing a man can do is "whatever the hell he wants".

thedopfien60 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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Serial pacifist
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are some of the best stress-relief activities. I pity those who do none of it

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#12

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Buying feminine products for your SO. I have no shame buying tampons or pads when I do the grocery shopping, which is always. Men that get all embarrassed or won’t do it are the “unmanly” ones.

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Many of these issues are rooted in social expectations. To oversimplify things a bit, men are expected to never be perceived as vulnerable, weak, or soft. They’re also pushed to be aggressive and competitive. These are traits that some interpret to be examples of toxic masculinity.

Healthy masculinity, on the other hand, is exemplified by self-reflection, embracing emotions (whatever they might be) instead of repressing them, and being comfortable with having one’s opinions challenged. 

#13

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise I heard cooking for your family labeled as unmanly due to men wearing an apron around a gas stove, by the same people who grill for their family while wearing an apron around a gas grill.

Qimmosabe_Man , Gary Barnes Report

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ADHORTATOR
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like cooking for my family, there are even some dishes my wife won't cook because they are my speciality :-)

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Donkey boi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wear an apron, because I have 4 dogs and live on a farm. Got to have something clean between me and the food!

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Channo Sagara
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cooking for your family is unmanly? Who came up with this b******t? Majority of professional chefs are male.

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Tiffany Persaud
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Y'all saw Disney's "Turning Red"? I want to put "Looking for my Jin" on my dating profile. I shall. Dude wears a flower apron and takes passion in cooking his meals because he likes it and you gotta respect that.

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Edgar Rops
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If anything is unmanly, it is a gas grill. Charcoal all the way! Besides, you can recycle old, unnecessary bits of wood into it.

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TheElderNom
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom always did the grilling. While my father can cook and is very good at it, he really doesn't have a talent for grilling. Ten years after the divorce his results became okay, still no where near my mother's skills though.

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And i was like WTF!!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pfff i looove food and i love to cook, maybe even better then my gf (she is a gread baker). No excuse for that

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Rahim Carlock
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of you know how to cook most of the time,male or female. It's about whoever holds the knife 🔪.at the time .work together.

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Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents shared household stuff. My mom had a job outside the home. Whoever got home first on weekdays did the cooking and the other on the weekends. Because we moved frequently that would change depending on where we lived. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 can we live in a place where dad gets home first on weekdays? He was a great cook. Mom? 🤮

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Dekker451
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently being outside makes all the difference? I have no idea why though.

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Daft Mosquito
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here I don't understand the problem at all. Not to sound sexist, but true: best chefs are somehow male. More attention to them because they're male? Doubt it. It goes on since Middle Ages. I do not say everyone's a cook but a normal, regular guy has to have an ability to cook one or two complex recipes. Barbeques don't count. I mean Cooking. 5 ingredients or more? Believe me, young dudes, that's the way to conquer a woman. Especially if you would continue practicing this skill for her, for years. Another upside: you'll be eating exactly what you wished.

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mysterious
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this is a weird one. My dad does most of the cooking, not because my mom can't or anything, just because he likes to cook.

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Andrea Careless
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love my husband and it’s fine that he doesn’t cook because he does things I don’t. But I’d be very happy if he liked to cook! Lol

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John Blackheart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont wear an apron when I'm cooking for my family that might explain All the grease stains on my tie dies 😆

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Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cooking is for women. But you can be a chef just fine.... how did that standard even start?

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Isaac Harvey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad formed his own recipe for homemade fries. There are (currently) two variants, one of which uses only salt, and the other uses both salt and a spice called "Garlic and Herb seasoning blend," from the spice company Dash.

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Mario Strada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am the home cook and glad of it. I eat better. My daughter calls me for recipes.

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Icecream Sarang
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My spouse and I split this. He loves to cook, and it makes him happy to see his family enjoy his food. The kitchen looks like a hurricane hit it afterwards, but the food is good!

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Peter Kovak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cook at home, and I'm happy when I see everybody liking their fingers and fighting for the last piece.

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Roger9er
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're not able to cook for your family, no matter what you look like...come on man, that's just sad

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Mike Robinson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't wear an apron, but I am the cook. Stay the f*^k out of my kitchen.

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Panaeolus Dream
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf?!? I have never heard this... I know so many men and women that cook.... funny enough non of them wear aprons....

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#14

My friends were amazed at how I "allowed" some drunk guy talk to my girlfriend for like 10 minutes at a festival. Bro, why the f**k would I care, she didn't seem distressed and enjoyed the conversation and I'm not insecure. She'd tell me/let me know if she was uncomfortable and needed help. I don't feel threatened, I have nothing to proof and my girlfriend is not some possesion I need to protect from other men.

Going up to the guy and doing whatever just makes you seem to radiate insecurity to me. Not manliness.

Your_Black_Nemesis Report

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Alexander Salt
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was at my local pub, and a woman came in with her guy friend (I didn't make assumptions about their relationship). I loved her tattoos and wanted to compliment her on them. I checked with both her guy friend and her if either one minded. Neither did.

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#15

Holding your friends accountable and calling them out when they’re being a d**k towards women or just in general.

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pink_panda
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner called out one of his friends for making racist jokes with a group of buddies. Not sure if the friendship is the same but damn, am I proud of him. That kind of conviction is hot as hell.

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#17

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Hygiene and cleanliness. I live on my own and I love having a clean and neat house.

TheMonkophile , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#18

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Wearing sunscreen. Nothing looks dumber than a guy who’s so afraid to seem “girly” that he gets turned into a lobster.

an_ineffable_plan , Kindel Media Report

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Dilly Millandry
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Skin cancer isn't pretty. I know a few people who have had this. Sometimes people go to the doctor because they have a sore or a cut from shaving that just won’t heal, which turns out to be a basal cell cancer. Use sunscreen - even if you tan easily.

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#19

Being gay. I mean u are a man and you like man's. What could be more manly

Flimsy-Recover-7236 Report

#20

Ballet. Those dudes are strong!

neocondiment Report

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Trash Panda 🦝
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Several football coaches make their players take ballet. The flexibility, core strength, and leg strength ballet does for men is ridiculous.

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#21

I’ve always been more attracted to “manly” but smart and funny. I was dating an honorably discharged marine who is now a pastry chef for maybe 2 weeks when I mentioned he’s the best of both worlds. He’s manly and strong but also smart and gentle. His response: “I know. I built this narrative.” Known each other for 14yrs, dated for 7, married for 5. Absolutely in love.

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#22

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, being good with kids, being patient, crying, hugging your good guy friends

National_Square_3279 , Vanessa Loring Report

#23

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise When my dad was a kid, a bully told him to meet him after school for a beating. Dad simply never showed up and went directly home instead.

ugagradlady , Mikhail Nilov Report

#24

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Being there for your kids

doravec88 , August de Richelieu Report

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#26

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Walking away from a physical fight, instead of getting involved/the whole “I could put you in hospital but I won’t” nonsense. A true “alpha”, if you must use that word, doesn’t need to assert his dominance like that.

tihurricane , Keira Burton Report

#27

Gardening.

I've also been called a homosexual by multiple other guys for saying I like gardening.

exit-life Report

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Samuel Pelatan
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm always amazed how homophobes can't tell the difference between "gay", "not manly" and "feminine".

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#28

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Taking care of your skin. I hate how some of the guys I work with and serve with (I'm in the army) give me s**t for using products for my face and skin. But they also wonder why I get told I look like I'm 25 even though I'm almost 36. Because I take care of my body.

Reasonable_Spare_870 , Ron Lach Report

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Mario Strada
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally, I only use a special type of cream as an aftershave, but if a guy told me he used multiple skin care products, I wouldn't care either way. Use an angle grinder if you like. I still don't care.

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#30

Toxic Masculinity Deems These 30 Normal And Healthy Behaviors ‘Unmanly,’ Yet People Online Think Otherwise Respecting boundaries.

Unsolicited_Spiders , cottonbro studio Report

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