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It takes a special type of human to become a teacher. To choose that line of work and then to follow through and actually survive every day is bravery at its best. Your class is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get. It might be a mix of sweet, salty, sour, soft and hard, but many teachers will admit that despite the struggles, their work brings them great joy. They’re shaping and molding the next generation. And they deserve all the thanks in the world.
Someone recently asked teachers to share their most unhinged hacks: the ones that could make a first year teacher’s jaw drop, or have veteran educators slow-clapping in amazement. Hundreds of comments came pouring in. Some were really sweet, while others were plain savage. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best in a nod to all the teachers out there doing the most to survive and make sure our children thrive.
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#1
I drew a heart on the white board and if I (or another student) caught a student doing something kind, they wrote their name in the heart. At the end of the week, those kids with three or more names in the heart got to have lunch with me on Monday and share about their weekend. It changed my whole classroom dynamic and the toughest kids bought into it most. I had to keep making bigger and bigger hearts to hold all the names
rorschach-penguin 7 months ago
Maybe I'm cynical, but what's stopping people from writing their own names?
AsylumWalker 7 months ago
It sounds like it has to be witnessed by the teacher or another student
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Dragons Exist 7 months ago (edited)
What exactly was stopping kids from writing their own names, or friends writing their friends' names, without actually doing anything? Little kids (or even any school-age kids) aren't exactly known to be the most moral and integral people on Earth
Hmmm hmmmm 7 months ago
Probably a primary school so unlikely kids were left unaccompanied in classroom , not much opportunity would be the plan
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Harry Gondalf 7 months ago
We need teachers, sure. But ... California just removed the requirement that teacher's aides must read at the 6th grade level. A teacher I heard about (some time ago) quit her $37,000 job to work as a bartender, earning $65,000. Where was it, Minneapolis? All of the kids graduated with 'honors', and none have passed basic math skills since the year 2000.
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
I use the 'bucket-filler' metaphor with my students, as well as 'grow money' they earn for doing the right things, being nice etc and can cash in for different prizes.
Many teachers put their heart and soul into their work. They show up day after day for their students, and some go above and beyond in, and out of, the classroom. They are essential in shaping the future by bringing out the best in our future leaders. Yet, statistics paint a bleak picture of the state of education and the conditions that teachers are being forced to operate under.
According to the The Global Status of Teachers 2024 (GST) report, teacher shortages constitute a crisis with profound implications for education. A separate UNESCO report reveals that there's an urgent need for 44 million primary and secondary teachers worldwide by 2030. Sub-Saharan Africa is especially affected, warns UNESCO, adding that the region needs an estimated 15 million new teachers by 2030.
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#2
I used to teach high school seniors. One day I asked for quiet. Asked again. Raised my voice a bit and asked again.
Then I looked at a quiet girl in the front row and said at a normal volume, “Do you think it would help if I said ‘shut the f**k up’?”
The girl practically fell off her chair laughing. Several nearby heads swiveled toward me in shock.
“Did you just…?” “Wait, what? What did she say?”
I got multiple requests to say it again. I said, “Nope, you missed it. Be quieter next time.”
#3
I apologize when I've messed up, lost patience, raised my voice. I let my students know I'm a person, I'm fallible, and I show them what being accountable looks like.
North America and Europe are also battling, warns UNESCO. "Despite well-resourced education systems, these regions struggle to recruit and retain qualified educators, posing significant challenges to educational quality and equity."
The U.N. educational body revealed that many teachers are leaving the profession within the first five years. "Attrition rates among primary teachers almost doubled from 4.62 per cent globally in 2015 to 9.06 in 2022," notes the UNESCO report. Being overworked, underpaid, having poor working conditions, and a lack of professional support are among the reasons they're quitting.
#4
I always took kids out in the hallway for a private check-in when things went sideways. Half the time, the answer to “What’s going on for you today?” was a heartbreaking summary of the c**p they had been dealing with outside my classroom.
Taro Obanagi 7 months ago
No one ever did that to me and I was a mess since childhood to well into adult life 😭
arthbach 7 months ago
Taro, how's it going today? Are thing well in your life?
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Harry Gondalf 7 months ago
Imagine teachers spending 1 hour each week to give special help to a student. That would add 30-40 hours to their work week.
Wild Cream 7 months ago
Wait sorry, 1 hour per week adds up to 30-40 per week?
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#5
I am a Principal's Secretary, I coach, and I drive a bus. I am blessed with great students. But in the past [since I'm an hourly paid employee] on a rowdy buses I've subbed to help out ...I'd pull over, park, put my feet on dash and start reading a book.
When they ask... I say, "Y'all the ones that want to get home, I get paid by the hour. So ... I'm good to sit here and get paid to read until I can drive Y'all safely.".... instant calm cause they want to be home
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
My bus driver did this once or twice. We had a horrendous time on our bus. In Australia we use a regular public bus, in this case chartered for a school route. It was always really full, some days we would have been over capacity. We had people sitting on the space for bags as well as on the floor and standing. I would always get on last as mine was one of the first stops and it was virtually impossible to get past everyone to reach the doors otherwise. It was a challenge as well because I was so short I couldn't really reach the handles hanging from the ceiling so had to stand where I could hold onto the back of the seats.
Ross Shaw 7 months ago
I did this on the last day of school while subbing on a middle school (ages 10-13) route. The kids had a massive paper ball war on the way home, so I just pulled over and didn't start again until the bus was spotless. Radioed in to the garage so they knew what was going on in case any parents called in and got full support.
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
That works -- IF you don't have to get back to pick up a fresh load of kids at a different time and/or school. Which Husband did, when he drove bus in Colorado.
The Camera Man 7 months ago
I did something similar when I drove a School bus in Alberta. I got reprimanded and fired because, "Taking kids home after school is on their time, not yours."
#6
I start singing obnoxiously loud when my students won't stop talking. Works every time. I can’t sing, so they don’t wanna hear it
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Steadily lowering your voice's volume will get their attention too.
Education International (EI) spoke to 204 teacher unions across 121 countries to get a clearer picture of the current state of teaching conditions, and find out more about the crisis. "According to unions, the most significant factor contributing to these shortages is inadequate pay and compensation," notes the EI report.
"Additional drivers include limited career progression, ineffective management practices, excessive workloads, and low professional status—challenges rooted in the broader issue of the teaching profession's low status in many countries," the report adds.
#7
When a kid is on 10 and starting to realize they are on the wrong path, I keep it real. "You could easily get in trouble right now, and you'd deserve it. But I'm more interested in what you do next. Your next move needs to be your best move. So, what're you going to do to get back on the best path?" I got in trouble all throughout school and I wish somebody would've helped me decide my next move, instead of threatening me with trouble because that did not work.
veryvenasaur 7 months ago
This reminds me of the time a kid was doing something dangerous and refused to stop so I got out my phone and pointed it at the kid (no I was not actually recording that would have been mean) The kid asked what I was doing and I said, "I already told you not to do that. I'm certainly not going to climb up there to stop you. I figure the doctors will want to know how you broke your neck. Plus it will make a good youtube video." The reason it worked is one it was a final reminder to the kid that he was going to hurt himself but more importantly my perceived lack of care for his actions took the fun out of doing something he wasn't supposed to. It doesn't work on every kid but this kid loves to get a reaction out of me so the fact that I seemed to be fine with it took away the fun. (For the record I was mentally working through every way to minimize damage and catch the kid I wasn't actually ambivalent to the danger)
TMTMTMTM 7 months ago
What does "is on 10" mean? I went to the Threads discussion that this whole thing was stolen from. This was all the reply, and none of the visible replies explained it either.
Jesse 7 months ago
From context, being "on 10" means they're at the limit of what they can handle and could easily snap or have already done so.
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Kenneth Smith 7 months ago
And this is exactly how I raise my kids. You messed up. It's done. What are we doing to do now?
#8
“Can every one in the room who has a HS diploma raised their hand? Bachelor’s degree? Master’s degree?” Oh look it’s only me! Then why don’t you sit down and maybe learn something! Mmm ok.”
Michael Largey 7 months ago
"If this material is so easy for you that you don't have to listen, the Math Department Head can have you transferred to a more difficult math class. And I'm the Math Department head."
Harry Gondalf 7 months ago
"What good is a HS diploma if you can't read at the 6th grade level? Or get a decent job with even with a college degree (unless it's in STEM)?
#9
Occasionally I choose a "Class Representative" for the day. Students don't know who it is, but I tell them I'm watching this student all day for following directions, trying their best, and respecting their classmates. At the end of the day, they can earn a prize for the whole class. Everyone wants to be the person caught doing those things and I can usually get a normally rowdy student to calm down.
Taro Obanagi 7 months ago
My teacher did this in fifth grade (a long time ago so fuzzy ofc) and also told everyone separately that they are the chosen one (in recess)
Caro Ansaldo 5 months ago
I have 9 courses of nearly 30 students in Argentina. I can't get prizes for everyone or I will go bankrupt... But the idea is great!
EI says that although teachers are widely acknowledged for their essential contributions to society, unions report that they are often undervalued compared to other professions and perceived as an unattractive career choice for younger generations.
"According to unions, challenging working conditions—including excessive workloads, large class sizes, insufficient respect, and mental health challenges—exacerbate this issue," reads the EI report. "These systemic problems are frequently overlooked by governments, further compounding teachers’ negative experiences and contributing to the global teacher shortage."
#10
Call the parent and give them great news about their kid! FIND SOMETHING good to say! Praise them for raising a well behaved scholar! A positive phone call home even when they don’t deserve it has been my go to hack!
If I need to call again for a correction I now have the parent’s buy in.
#11
There was a substitute teacher (former Marine). Due to an injury, he had to wear a plastic corset around his torso. He was sent to a class that had the reputation of being uncontrollable. He went there for the first time, wearing his suit. The class really was noisy and annoying…the teacher sat down and didn’t say a word. A breeze from the windows made his tie fly around a bit. He then picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest to fix it…The class was sweet as sugar from that moment on
Kim Kermes 7 months ago
I've known Marines who would do that through their tie, shirt, and t shirt. Tip: with all that fabric, if you do it right, it barely breaks the skin. PS: there are retired Marines and Marine veterans. There are no former Marines. They're particular about that.
nottheactualphoto 7 months ago
From what I understand, "former marine" is preferred. The nemesis phrase is "ex-marine."
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GrammarPolice 7 months ago
You don’t need a capital for work unless it’s at the start of a sentence.
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#12
“That sounds like a you problem.” - by this time in the year, my middle schoolers have heard this so much that they start saying it to each other when they make an excuse… I had one kid even come to me and say “I have a me problem, but I don’t know how to solve it.”
The crisis is not to be taken lightly, warns UNESCO. It's leading to larger class sizes, overburdened educators, educational disparities, and is putting financial strain on educational systems worldwide.
In the United States alone, there were over 55,000 teacher shortages entering the 2024-2025 school year, while around 300,000 other teaching positions were being staffed by non-credentialed personnel. That's according to K12 Digest.
#13
I just shadowed a teacher who on the first day of school started a hand raising system so she doesn't have to ask everytime what they want.
Raise 1 finger for help w material or assignment, 2 for bathroom, 3 for I feel sick. She just points at the kid and nods yes or no, never skips a word on her lesson plan.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
I had a student suffering from severe intestinal problems. I gave him a desk by the door and told him "If you need to go, just catch my eye and go. If you can't catch my eye, go anyway."
PandaGoPanda 7 months ago
Wish my daughter's elementary teacher had been like you.
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This one comes from my mom, and it’s absolutely brilliant. There’s a kid in her class who thought farting was the most hilarious thing they could do. So, she pulled them aside and sincerely asked “Is everything okay? Is there a medical issue I should know about? Do your parents know? I’m happy to call your mom and explain it for you so you can get help.” If they call your bluff, do it, but make the call seem like you are genuinely concerned.
T'Mar of Vulcan 7 months ago
I get this because I'm one of those people who can't stop them from coming out. However, some kids can fart on command, on purpose. And they love doing it because of how disruptive it is. It's those kids the OP is talking about.
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#15
When teenage boys start rough-housing, I tell them that it's okay to wanna touch each other so much but they need to do it on their own time. Then they're too busy insisting they do NOT want to touch other dudes --and also trying not to offend me, their queer English teacher-- to continue disturbing my class :)
Dar Mal 7 months ago
maybe not. I said this once and got the most outraged and homophobic call from a father about me calling his kid qu33r and something-something-Jesus-something....
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Jojo on the Gogo 7 months ago
I'm an 8th grade PE teacher and use this line on my rowdy boys all the time. Works like a charm!
"The global teacher shortage demands urgency," warns UNESCO, adding that more attention needs to be given to recruitment, teacher motivation, well-being, retention, training, working conditions, and social status.
"Creating attractive career pathways with equitable access to professional development, autonomy, and purpose is crucial in sustaining teachers' motivation," reads the UNESCO report. "Recognizing the multi-faceted nature of this issue and proposing comprehensive strategies is crucial to finding lasting solutions."
#17
One day one of my students cussed at me. I did not say a word to him. I called his mother and put her on speaker phone and said “what did you say to me?” I don’t even think I said hello. He was silent!! We were good from that day.
Coralinea 7 months ago
That depends on the mother. Just this week I had a call with one who, upon hearing that her son kicked a student who was already on the floor answered "well, he probably had a bad day, it's not like he does this every day".
Michael Largey 7 months ago
A teacher in my department caught a student chearting on a test. When the mom came in for the mandatory parent meeting, she just grinned at the teacher and said "Well, how do we get around this?"
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My first year teaching keyboarding the kids popped off the keys on one keyboard and rearranged them to say “u mad bro”. I took all of the keyboards out, printed out keyboards on paper and made them type on paper for a few days. It was miserable but they never damaged my computers again
Education International, meanwhile, is calling on policymakers to prioritize investments in teachers’ working conditions and elevate their status to ensure equitable and high-quality education for all. "By addressing these challenges collectively, the teaching profession can be transformed into a sustainable and respected cornerstone of society," says EI.
#19
When I taught highschool, fine art (painting, drawing, pottery etc) and had students be disrespectful, not following directions, I would let them know they have shown me they want to be my assistant for the day. They dont want to learn thats fine, they will learn a trade/skill and get to work. I made them do every odd job, sweep, dust, reorganize closets. Worked like a charm everytime and some semesters I had the cleanest rooms in the school
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
No, that's teaching them that their choices have consequences.
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#20
I looked a female student who was “acting out,” right in the eye and said to her, “I see you and all you need is love and attention.” Her entire bad girl demeanor melted and I was able to build with her from that moment.
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
One of the most important things a teacher can do to help students is to build a caring and honest relationship. In early education in Australia, our learning framework is called 'being, belonging and becoming' because all the outcomes fall into those categories. First outcome is 'children and young people feel safe, secure and supported'.
#21
My number one hack to help students course-correct with dignity:
If a student of any age swears in front of me or makes a joke that is more edgy or unkind than they had intended, unless they are being deliberately cruel, my usual response is, “If you could go back ten seconds in time and do/say that differently, would you?” The response is always a yes.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Many high school students would say no. And I was certainly one of them.
#22
I only had issues with specific students, and a few of them I was in a texting level relationship with the moms, so when they’d get out of hand, I’d silently walk over to my phone, draft a message in moms message thread, and silently walk over and show the student the text before hitting send. I never once had to send any of those drafted texts
#23
I had the *student* call the parent on my room phone and report the behavior/issue so I didn’t have to.
Only had to do that once; word spread quickly.
#24
Me: We need to make a phone call home.
S: So what? Nothing will happen.
Me: Not your home. I’m calling my home so you can explain to my husband why you think your disrespect toward me is acceptable.
General Anaesthesia 7 months ago
"He's a marine and he just stapled his tie to his chest this morning. He might want to meet you."
rorschach-penguin 7 months ago (edited)
This is just unhinged. Why would any problematic student care what their teacher's husband thought about them? And why would they actually explain anything that happened, if they weren't going to get in trouble regardless?
Michael Largey 7 months ago
A student can deflect a surprise approach if you give them time to think about it. The trick is not giving them the time.
Load More Replies... Gianna B D 7 months ago
Crying to your husband, who isn't even involved in the situation, is not a great way to earn respect.
#25
Call and responses to get their attention.
EX- me: It's peanut butter... Them: Jelly Time!
Me: And a HUSH fell over the crowd...Them: Huuusshhh!!
Me: AVENGERS... Them : ASSEMBLE!!
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
The art teacher at the school I work at does 'Mona' and they respond 'Lisa'. The one other teachers are using at the moment is 'focus 1' and children clap once, 'focus two' clap twice.
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I’ve seen some teachers on TikTok do this 😆 just a handful of phrases that the kids have an adorable response for that quiets them down and gets them to pay attention
#26
If you interrupt the audiobook more than once you BECOME the audiobook and read aloud as I interrupt you when I feel like it.
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Why are you using an audiobook? Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? Shouldn't you be having the students read the book out loud anyway?
Jaya 7 months ago
When learning foreign languages you need to practice understanding spoken text too, not just written text. We would often have to listen to a tape with conversations, and then answer questions about that conversation. Maybe an audiobook is like this too?
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#27
Our PreK-1 building is right behind ours, so when my 4th or 5th graders are struggling with basic classroom rules, like raising hands, lining up, etc. I threaten to walk them over to the other building so those younger kids can show them how it's done.
#28
Full names in your most paternal voice possible. I have a kid to this day who will stop moving dead in his tracks because knows if I see him doing something he's not supposed to, he's going to hear all four of his names. Hes junior now. I had him in 7th grade. Especially works if they got named after their grandparent
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I have a full name that some people don’t realize is my legal name, because I go by a shortened version of it - it’s not quite as simple and obvious as Jess for Jessica, it’s more like being called Libby as a short for Elizabeth. When someone uses my full legal name it actually makes my heart stop for a moment because historically that means I’m either in trouble or dealing with adult things like doctors and lawyers 😅
#29
Swearing just ONCE with middle school students in a very appropriate setting gets their respect every time. “I can’t stop you from speaking or force you not to swear. But can you please stop saying f**k every other f**king word”.
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
One of my very, very sheltered Catholic high school students spent a summer in Dublin on a work-study scholarship working in a pub there. I warned her that in the pub she would be hearing an f-bomb about every third word. When she returned, I asked if I had been right about the every third word. "No," she replied. "It was more like every third syllable."
Ross Shaw 7 months ago
Reminds me of a "Doonesbury" cartoon from the Gulf War, in which an officer in the National Guard is called up to active duty. He says to an NCO, "I don't even remember how to use the F word!" The sergeant replies, "Easy sir, just like a comma."
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
Like so many of the posters and commenters here! Every other word is f**k. I am just sick of it. Browse a dictionary or thesaurus, learn some new words!
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I actually love swear words 😊 I think it’s so interesting that we took a handful of sounds and turned them into forbidden words haha. It’s crazy how you can even lower your perception of pain while swearing loudly during a painful event (like medical procedure etc). I love how expressive and harsh-sounding the words are too. I’m a bit of a weirdo though haha, I’m not offended when I hear others making arbitrary mouth sounds that our culture has deemed “bad.”
Load More Replies... #30
Years ago, when I taught middle school, I was a speech and theatre teacher. My classes were very active and participatory, obviously. Transitions could be difficult. One day, I had been working on the set for our upcoming play during my prep and I had a roll of duct tape on my arm when I went back to my room. I had forgotten it was there. My students arrived and were struggling to get settled. After asking them to quiet down so we could get started two times, I stood at the front of the room, leaning on my desk and put on my “teacher look.” It works kind of like the wave—a couple of students notice and get quiet, then a few more notice, and so on. When they were all quiet, I realized that the roll of duct tape was still on my arm. Before I started talking, I took it off and placed it on the corner of my desk. I never said a word about it, just left it there. For the rest of the semester.
Of course, they all knew it wasn’t a threat and that I would never threaten much less actually use the duct tape, but they seemed to take it as a visual reminder to be quiet.
#31
If a student swears in my (elementary) classroom, they get to call home and repeat the word EXACTLY as they said it. If they can say it in class they can repeat it to a parent.
I also ask them which parent they’d prefer I call for good news and which for bad news.
Caro Ansaldo 5 months ago
I had a student whose father went to school to talk to another teacher and the principal. THE STUDENT told his parents "We will talk at home..."
Wild Cream 7 months ago
“In 2023, the majority of children in the US, 71%, lived with two parents. This represents a significant increase compared to previous years, reaching its highest level in decades. In contrast, 21.5% of children lived with just their mother, and a smaller percentage (4.6%) lived with their father only.”
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Robert Trebor 7 months ago
whether you like it or not, the kids know how each of their parents will react to such a report.
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#32
When I taught elementary and the kids were too loud, I would just start whispering. There’s always one kid who asks “Miss why are you whispering?” And I would respond “why are you all yelling?”. 99.9% of the time it would quiet down.
#33
If the class is unresponsive when you ask a question: “I know you don’t know the answer. But if you DID know, what would it be?” Hands shoot up.
#34
My daughter’s former school does the “POW and wow” circle with her students. The kids get an opportunity to tell the class something good or bad that they want to share, and the kids get to either celebrate or offer support to their classmates.
Original Kinkster 7 months ago
I'm pretty sure that POW doesn't mean prisoner of war in this case but can someone tell me what it does mean?
Kim Kermes 7 months ago
I guess Pow as in comic books being hit and knocked down?
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#35
When a student talks over me: "Everyone quiet down please X obviously has something very important to say and we don't want to be rude and interrupt."
Or
"You clearly seem to be an expert on this so please go ahead and teach this lesson for me cuz I could definitely use a break."
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 7 months ago
I was that annoying combination of a good student but a disruptive joker. My maths teacher once did the "well perhaps you'd like to come out here and take the lesson?" thread with me, and it backfired when I went to the front and started organising the handing out of worksheets. I think she saw the funny side, and I did then sit down and shut up.
Deta Rossiter 7 months ago
this works a treat. each time. What i did though is i changed seats with the little chatterbox. in front of the class they seem to have lost their ability to talk
#36
A colleague once had a poster in her high school classroom that said, “I match energy.” When needed, she’d stop class, point to the poster, and say, “Meet me halfway.”
#37
"Everybody stand up at your desk
Now cover your eyes with your left hand
Now point your other hand north!"
"Now put both your arms down at your side
Only two of you were correct
That means you don't know what you thought you knew, and that's why you're here
Let's get started."
#38
If you need to borrow a pencil, you have to give me something as collateral. A shoe will do. You get your shoe back when my pencil is returned to the spare pencil box. Don’t like that option?! Bring your own pencil.
Caro Ansaldo 5 months ago
I love this! I stopped lending stuff to my students because they always give it back to me broken, if I am lucky enough to get my whatever I lend them...
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I had a teacher that did this but you had to give up a shoe - she always had a handful of shoes behind her desk 😂 I forgot about that until I read this
#39
“Let’s take that attitude of yours and bring it down to where your grades probably are so that at least one thing matches today.”
The danish woman 7 months ago (edited)
That's a terribly thing to say to a child, or an adult. A very negative approach.
#40
A student complained about doing work and said his mom thought it was ridiculous. I told him he could put it in the pile I file my other complaints. He asked where it was, I placed a trash can by his desk and kept walking.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
"Time to dispute, amend, or discuss any policy or decision of the teacher is not available during class. The student may make an appointment after 3 p.m. for any such conversation. Students who do not comply with this policy will have such an appointment made for them."
#41
“You are testing the limitations of my coffee.”
#42
When a class is driving me nuts and I’m at the front of the room, I’ll just turn around and place my head against the board for a few seconds (to make sure they all notice I’m doing it) and then *lightly* tap my forehead against the board. It’s unexpected but they also get the message
#43
I tried the “if you’re ugly keep talking” in my favorite class. The inmediate silence was deafening
Sam Trudeau 7 months ago
And then there's the kid on the bus when other kids won't stop, who yells "noisy kid say what?" (I remember doing this once as a joke)
#44
Retired HS ELA teacher: plagiarism really started to become a problem (and this is before Chat GPT). Instead of me making the call home to it, my rule was that the student had to take their phone into the hallway and call their parent while I stood there. I would tell them my policy at the start of the year, and remind them of it as the year went on. By April, when reminded of the policy, there would always be some kid in the back mumbling, “and she means it!”
Ace 7 months ago
Thanks. I guess it's like creative writing or literary analysis.
Load More Replies... #45
When I couldn’t get them to focus and my “good teacher” methods to redirect failed, I calmly walked into a corner in the classroom and loudly cackled like the witch dive bombing Emerald City. Then I turned and calmly returned to teaching like nothing happened.
#46
I tell everyone who is talking to “stop flirting” boys, girls, boys and girls, girls and girls, boys and boys. It’s iconic.
#47
School social worker here. I tell some of my kids, ain’t NO WAY you’re worried about the next person with THESE grades. Keep your head in your business
Ace 7 months ago
I do hope you're not teaching English. Anyone translate this to something understandable?
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
The English is fine. It's information that's missing. Like who is the "next person" exactly?
Load More Replies... #48
"I don't know what show you're watching but my show is the one you paid for."
OneHappyPuppy 7 months ago
Teaching programming but using your pointer (finger) as a pointer instead of an actual pointer (laser/mouse)? Absolutely barbaric
Original Kinkster 7 months ago
I'd debate this point as I'm paying for my Netflix but I didn't pay anything for going to school or university...
#49
This is going to sound so dumb but rain frogs.
When there is child discourse among kids in my classroom, I play rain frogs videos. It eases the tensions and allows me to intervene without yelling.
Frog butts always win.
superfluous 7 months ago
I guess they mean disagreement when they say discourse? Wouldn't this just encourage bad behavior so the kids could watch frog butts?
#50
They have to fill out a “Refusal to Work Form” and sign it when they’re playing around and not doing anything. Then I send it to their parents and say “this is why you’ll see a Z for today.”
#52
Rug cleaning videos. If I need my class to calm in the morning, I ask them to figure out how many rinses it will take to clean a rug.
#54
You’re doing a lot of talking for so many missing assignments. If you spent half the time you do yapping to give some real opinions in writing I bet your grade would actually surpass the number of [insert social media] followers you have. (You could also insert number of points scored at a game if they’re an athlete.)
-HS English (but really works with freshmen)
#55
H.S. Teacher Once you hit March April you get flagrantly disrespectful I call you by your grade “Ok 8… how you got all this “sense” but you older than your grade?
#57
I teach Pre-K, when my kids act up, I make them turn 3 years old again, and they have to earn becoming a 4-year-old
RomanceRadish 7 months ago
Hopefully only for serious repeated infractions. This would be very genuinely upsetting to a preschooler.
Sam Trudeau 7 months ago
Ah, the funny part of teaching kids who believe everything you say. What happens if they're actually 3? (September half of the year gives kids old enough to join school at 3)
#58
One of my former students from 20 years ago is now my friend. She remembers one burn I told her “Explain to me how the student with the highest IQ has the lowest grade.”
20 years later and she still remembers it
#59
A kid can’t keep an attitude with bubbles being blown at them.
#60
My favorite right now is the announcement “I’m on whatever you’re on twin so let me know how WE are acting” they tighten up quick.
#61
"If you're in this room with me, you're going places. Soon you will begin to diverge from friends of yours who don't pass through this doorway. You can date them, ride to school with them, sit with them in the cafeteria, and like their posts, but if you're here with me, you're taking the highest road possible. I am grossly overqualified for this job. Let me say that again. I'm grossly overqualified for this job. But I'm here with you, and you are everything. You're welcome. Let's get busy."
Wombat 7 months ago
That would have made me want to vomit as a teenager, Still does. if you're a great teacher, show it, don't tell it.
OneHappyPuppy 7 months ago
Yeah, I had a professor at uni just like this. All talk, no do
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#62
“Omg! We are so happy to have [student’s name] here! Come on up with that expertise and teach the class!” and then I go sit down and wait. And wait. When they don’t do anything I say “Yes, the correct response was sit down and keep your mouth shut.”
#63
It is so much more effective to whisper to that disobedient student than to raise your voice. Every time!
#64
After about 1/2 way into the year when my grade 5’s know me and we have a community we yell “ shame” when someone does what is very unexpected. It works.
#65
I'm sarcastic AF. When students give me attitude I look behind me dramatically and say who are you talking to like that???? No one is behind me and I KNOW you're not talking to ME like that!! It works well 99 % of the time. I've also stopped repeating myself and will just glare at a student until they comply.
#66
Offer to contact parents by calling them by their first name. Or if they’re loud, “Do you need a hug?”
At this point in the year, “Y’all better turn your crazy off before I have to turn mine on.”
#67
I will turn off the AC and I don't care if we all roast!
#68
Mine (8th grade) only work if you've been at the same site for a while. When I've called a kid's name at least a couple of times & they don't respond; I call them by a sibling's name. The snapped head hangs in shame once I let them know it was deliberate. OR someone's acting up, pull out phone, "Hmm. Let's see what your family has to say about you." "I don't care if you call my parent." "Oh, I'm not doing that. I'm texting your older siblings&cousins. I'm sure they'd like to know about this."
Original Kinkster 7 months ago
Am I the only who's not okay with when a treacher threats to bully their students?
#69
Former Para educator, elementary level here. If a class I had was out of pocket, I would start a timer on the smart board. When someone talked, I would restart the timer. In addition, I would also tack on extra time if a studen wanted to test my patience. Depending on behavior, some could warn it back. I covered a lot of classes. When other teachers passed by, they were always amazed how quiet and respectful the students were.
superfluous 7 months ago
What happens when the timer is done? What does 'watn it back' mean? WHY were the students quiet?
#70
"There are whole bunch of majors over that way (points out window) where you won't have to learn this."
#72
The momentum of compliance. Even the most aggro student is in your thrall once you make them adjust even one small thing. Tuck a shirt in, straighten a collar, pull pants up - they all work like magic
#73
“There has not been a machine invented that can measure how little I care.”
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
Hmmm.... how to translate this means using other actions to show you DO care. Otherwise, why would I as a student want to listen to you?
#74
1st year teacher & this one usually get them … me: “do you have ears?” student: “yes” me:”so why aren’t you listening?” then get real quiet
#75
“Hey, do you need some ziploc baggies so you can save some of that drama for your mama?”
#76
Asked a kid if he needed me to bother Ann at Bank of America. He didn't want me to bother her, so he got it together
#77
In a joking manner (and depending on the kid) I tell the “be careful, I know where you live.” Doesn’t work with everyone, but with the right kids it gets their attention.
#78
Kindergarten teacher here:
"Go on try to hit me, I hit back." I don't actually hit back, but they never wanna find out.
Phantom Phoenix 7 months ago
Do you honestly think it's a good idea to threaten small children with physical violence?
#79
My English teacher caught a student doing homework for another class while she was teaching. She stopped and SHREDDED it in front of the class - that definitely stopped that behavior
Phantom Phoenix 7 months ago
imo that teacher was disrespectful and had an ego issue she needed to get over. The natural consequence of a student doing other homework in her class is that they might miss something she teaches. Explain that and empower the kid to make their own choice. Meanwhile, doing homework isn't likely to be disruptive to the class, so carry on Teach
T'Mar of Vulcan 7 months ago
I take away the book and give it to the teacher whose work the child was doing. If they were copying another child's work I take away both books. So they get into trouble twice - from me and the other teacher.
What do you think ?
Piwakawaka 7 months ago
As a teacher, I am disgusted with most of these. The majority are either bullying or shaming students, neither of which are effective or setting a good example. If your students aren't engaged, ask yourself why. What are you doing to get them thinking and learning? If you build a good relationship with your students, they tend to respect you more.
Gianna B D 7 months ago
The many of these, of retold from the students' perspectives, would be right at home in a "worst teach I've ever had" thread.
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
Some of these are absolutely brilliant -- and variations could be used on other rude or disruptive people. If you think they're bullying, you obviously never had a rude or disruptive classroom -- as long as you stay matter-of-fact when using them. I only wish I'd known a few when I was substitute teaching; it would have helped so much.
Piwakawaka 7 months ago
As a teacher, I am disgusted with most of these. The majority are either bullying or shaming students, neither of which are effective or setting a good example. If your students aren't engaged, ask yourself why. What are you doing to get them thinking and learning? If you build a good relationship with your students, they tend to respect you more.
Gianna B D 7 months ago
The many of these, of retold from the students' perspectives, would be right at home in a "worst teach I've ever had" thread.
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
Some of these are absolutely brilliant -- and variations could be used on other rude or disruptive people. If you think they're bullying, you obviously never had a rude or disruptive classroom -- as long as you stay matter-of-fact when using them. I only wish I'd known a few when I was substitute teaching; it would have helped so much.
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