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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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#9

Read Whatever You Want

Read Whatever You Want

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Hans
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are no "must reads". And, to add, the best way to attract children to become book-smart is to merely live in a household where you read, and to offer them to read to them. No need to enforce reading, which willl do more harm than good!

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also to not limit them to kids books (woth of course limits on very violent or sexual books). Most kids books are really childish and stupid and its understandable that kids/teenagers dont enjoy them. They made us read a ton of s**t in school that was writen as if we were 5yo. My mum always ket me chose my books and I always loved reading. But I didnt enjoy a single of the "age apropiate" books that they made us read in school.

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i think school made us all fail on #2. They really added some stinkers

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I first started getting into reading I would make myself read the full book even if I wasn’t a fan. Well that was until I was given a book called “The Thorn Birds” and omg it was the worst book I ever read and took me over 2 months to read it coz I hated it so much. I got it as a gift and the person said they purposely searched all over to get it for me, so I felt guilty. Well after that book, no more. Life is to short to waste time reading something you are not enjoying.

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Anna Banana
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me a while to get to that point too. Isn't it weird how we have to learn such simple things?

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LesAnimaux
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And read books more than once if you want to. And don't finish books you don't like.

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lara
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I buy a lot of books. For a lot of different reasons. But the absolute WORST thing I can buy is a boring book. I had to read this huge economics textbook for a survey course. OHMYGAWD, It was so boring I had to lay on my back with it propped up on my chest so that when I fell asleep it would fall forward and hit me in the face and wake me up. And I seldom read books people tell me are "really" good, because half the time they are only saying what somebody else said. A boring book is a waste of paper and a waste of time. And yes, I read a lot. Three or four books a week is not unusual. I have read books again and again. Reading a book is like going on a trip. The first time you go you are excited to get to the end. However, the next time you know where you are going so this time and all subsequent times, you pay attention to the journey and it is a "new trip" each time.

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CatWoman312
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except during school they force you to read books and idk if any of you have read “The scarlet letter” but it’s super hard to read.

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Berlinda Dunbar-Nye
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a Library lady for a very long time, this is the best referral I've ever seen ;-)

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deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to read a lot, but now I am burned out and don't read much anymore. It's probably from having to read things that I wasn't interested in.

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Sol
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who has the time....audiobooks baby;) dishes, driving, kids, walking a dog, gardening, house errands....audiobooks. I can't even tell which books I actually read anymore because it feels like I did read them. As long as the narrators don't suck & there are some unbelievably terrific narrators. Your local library has them for free online via Overdrive app, Libby, and Hoopla. ALL 100% free.

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Jo Johannsen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life's too short to read books you neither want nor have to read (instructions, textbooks, cookbooks, ya know).

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Happiness is making your own decision based on what you enjoy reading, not what makes others assume would make you happy.

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Vicki Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me many years to stop feeling guilty about not liking a library book. I'd still make myself read it. Waking up to the fact that I didn't have to was liberating.

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Jo Ellen Washburn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. I appreciate the lists of the "greats," but, really, anyone reading is a win.

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Caroline Driver
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And don't feel you have to keep going with a book just because you started it (Wheel of Time, book 2, I'm looking at you)

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read less now because of the internet, but I still read every single day, and I often have more than one book going at a time. I grew up in a household where there were books everywhere, including a set of encyclopedias—I loved sitting in the window seat and randomly picking something to read about. Also, I was entranced by the maps pages, the flags of the world page, and the different monies pages. I always wanted to travel and I have one last big trip coming up next year.

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Marnie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't know if you wanted to read it until you're done reading it, though.

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Kristin Malliet
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

5. If someone offers you a book, try it. If you like it, great Not a fan? Be honest. 6. Children’s books are not just for children. 7. Use the library. 8. Every car ride is another opportunity to listen to a book.

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Casey McAlister
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, and I really hate it when some people who read a lot act like they are somehow above everyone else because they are so intellectual and s**t. Most of us know how to read, Karen, you aren't that special.

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James F. Wilson Jr.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And even though I have been doing this for years I still have a long way to go for both list.

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KimTx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was my thinking in 7th grade. Give me a long list and ask for a book report on however many.... The Count of Monti Cristo? Nah, I will read the red Pony.

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Connie Martin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really hard to let go of "I should read this, it's a subject I'm interested in" when the book itself doesn't inspire me to read it.

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Noemie Houtekie-N'Da
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I should march against my school. (I love Fantasy, but the most Fantasy thing our teachers force us to read is Realistic Fiction)

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Another Fool on the Hill
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does the first point mean that I won't die as long as there is at least one more book I want to read??

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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