MIL Is Left Sobbing On The Floor After She Showed Up To Wedding Wearing A White Dress And One Bridesmaid “Fixed” It With Some Red Wine
Among the many etiquette rules guests are supposed to abide by during the wedding, not upstaging the bride is at the top of the list. It’s her time to shine, and nobody should be stealing the spotlight. But often, people do surprise the happy couple on what is known as one of the most awaited days of their lives, and not necessarily in a good way.
A chaotic incident with all the ingredients for a drama-tinged cocktail — toxic family members, tantrums, revenge, and red wine — is a perfect example of that. Although it’s an old tale posted on the ‘Just No MIL’ subreddit five years ago, it definitely sparks further conversation.
“This story is about my friend’s MIL, and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a wild ride in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions,” the bridesmaid Theloniou5 recounted about the big day, and you already know it’s gonna be good.
Turns out, the lady decided to do the one thing that’s a definite no-go — turn up to the occasion wearing a white wedding dress. As you can guess, the bride instantly burst into tears, and the user knew she had to take matters into her own hands. Below, you can read the full story featuring the over-the-top MIL, and then let us know in the comments how you would have reacted in this situation.
After a MIL attempted to upstage the bride by showing up in a white wedding dress, this bridesmaid felt she had no choice but to take matters into her own hands
Image credits: Fallon Michael (not the actual photo)
Here’s how everything went down, in the woman’s own words
Image credits: cottonbro (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Theloniou5
“Not all heroes wear capes,” one user commented, while others jumped in accord to applaud the bridesmaid for her brave act. People immediately called out the MIL for her out-of-touch behavior, and some even invited the user to their own nuptials to have someone there who could save the day in case any relatives cause a scene during the occasion.
As the majority of readers expressed after reading the story, you shouldn’t wear a white dress to a wedding unless you’re the bride. Or, at least, have gotten permission from the newlyweds to do so.
Although there are no strict guidelines on what the guests can wear, as it’s entirely up to the happy couple what one of the most joyful days in life is going to be like, wearing white is usually frowned upon.
“In general, guests should not wear white to a wedding out of respect for the bride,” Emma Arendoski, founder of The Wedding Guide for the Handmade Bride, told Bored Panda in an email. But what if you found a stunning light-coloured dress you simply can’t wait to show off when someone else ties the knot, you ask? Well, the wedding planner noted it’s best to put that aside for another celebration. “Some even advise against similar colors, such as ivory or champagne.”
Speaking of the situation in question, Emma explained that the best way to handle people who try to draw attention from the bride is by ignoring them rather than focusing on their actions. “While not proper etiquette, guests are free to wear what they like; while it is not good etiquette to wear white, I don’t recommend causing a scene by spilling wine or similar.”
“In this situation, the MIL will look foolish, as guests will see she is trying to undermine the bride,” Emma added. “Pay no attention and enjoy your wedding day: don’t let anyone try to ruin it!”
But as the bridesmaid detailed in the post, the issue with this story is not only that the MIL decided to steal the show during the big day, but that she did it to ignite drama. Previously, we had a chat with Sam Owen, a global relationships coach and author of Happy Relationships: 7 simple rules to create harmony and growth, about why weddings are notorious for creating conflict within the family.
“Tensions run high as so many members of the wedding party can feel personally invested in the occasion because it’s their son/daughter/brother/niece/bestie, etc.,” she told us. “The wedding can set the precedence for how you’re going to handle all of your significant relationships going forward. So with that in mind, people in your wedding party do sometimes utilize your wedding to assert their importance in your life, and test boundaries.”
Although the MIL definitely went out of her way to push the bride’s limits, Owen explained it’s best to keep a level head when handling similar unfortunate instances. “If you have to deal with difficult situations, be respectful and compassionate in your requests and make sure you make fair requests rather than hostile demands so that nobody can think or say you were in the wrong,” the coach advised.
“If you don’t trust people you’d have to invite, like family members, from ruining your big day, it is your special day, so consider having a wedding without anyone there other than any witnesses required,” Owen concluded.
After reading this wild story, people jumped at the chance to share their reactions
I particularly love how the flower girl started snapping photos of the MIL having a tantrum. I also very much appreciate that the husband was on board with this.
That's what sells the story for me because that's exactly what I imagine a 12 year old doing when seeing a grown woman throwing a tantrum!
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I do hope the groom mans up and goes low-/no-contact, especially if/when children show up. Can you imagine the way Grandma would go to lunatic lengths to interfere with her DIL's parenting?
There are many stories of MIL wearing white, and even worse an actual wedding dress...i found that so creepy, like why would the MIL wanna be the bride? Of her own son???
I have to say here that dear MIL is mentally ill. Every single thing she did in that story was beyond normal. One thing - maybe - but everything? Nope. She needs a therapist who will help her see just how abnormally hideous she has been. I'm not surprised that everyone just backed off when she had her tantrum. Was everyone that afraid of her that they couldn't tell her what a toxic a*s she was being? She sounds unreal. I read one great reddit story about a bride who heard that MIL was going to wear a white gown at her wedding. She changed ALL the dresses, so that the bridemaids all wore white and she, the bride, wore pink. Even the groom, who was in on it, wore a matching pink cummerbund and tie! guess MIL in that tale went ballistic as well. What is it with these MILs? I'm a MIL and I wouldn't dream of interfering in my kid's wedding like that. I mean - what the hell?
What a total Monster of a Mother in Law!! To show up in an actual wedding dress for her sons' wedding what on earth was going through her mind? Its like something from a Charles Dickens' novel. As for the friend who threw the red wine, I would have taken one for the team too!
Don't hate me for this question. I know it's unforgivable to wear white to a wedding if you're not the bride, but do they deserve revenge? Does it really distract from the bride? Wouldn't it be easy to say, "Sorry, you can't be in any photos because two wedding dresses would confuse people"? And won't everyone look at them and think, "Wow, that is a petty, pathetic woman"?
If a woman shows up in a white dress, without checking with the bride first, she knows what she's doing. So, politely telling her that she can't be in any photos just wouldn't work. They are there to f*ck things up.
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If MIL showed up in all white, I would've told her to change or leave. How petty can a grown adult be to wear white at your kids wedding. Wtf
You say 'change or leave' and MIL says 'No'. That's what would happen. This is not a reasonable human. You can say a great deal but it can't make someone behave the way you want them to. Sometimes you have to go with sabotage.
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What a complete phyco. She sounds like she wanted to marry her son. The "accidentally ruin " of the dress is perfection. Good on you.
Ugh, I wore a white lace sun dress to my cousins wedding years ago when I was 13. Noooobody told me I wasn't supposed to do that! I always feel bad when I think about it to this day that I may have upset her by doing that. Whyyy didn't my older sister or mom tell me Oh heck no, go change, you can't wear a white dress to wedding!
I just don't understand Mother in laws like this SMH . All they do is push their sons away
If you think this is bad then you should see the posts about Mother in laws trying to KIDNAP their grandchildren because they disapprove of their Daughter in law. There was even a post that took place during the pandemic, I can no longer find it, about a grandmother who told her own grandchildren that SHE was the new mom and the kids' actual mom left because they were bad, the actual mom was working overseas during the pandemic and was unable to get home so her and her husband had to hire a lawyer and the "grandma" was no longer allowed contact.
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Tiny correction: A chuppah, also huppah, chipe, chupah, or chuppa, is a canopy under which a Jewish couple stand during their wedding ceremony. It consists of a cloth or sheet, sometimes a tallit, stretched or supported over four poles, or sometimes manually held up by attendants to the ceremony.
I could've used you 27 years ago when my step-MIL showed up to my wedding in a full length white gown. Nobody saw her until the church so nobody knew. Nothing anyone could do. She also brought her 27 ish year old boyfriend someone just slightly older than her step son, my amazing husband.
It would be epic if a bride once would find out a mil or mob was planning to wear white. Conspire to have everyone wear white instead and the bride to wear a diff color or even a black gown on her day. Men all in tux or suits of black or a single color or hue of one. With white dresses all around. Then the bride standing out that way. I heard one where an ex came in red and the bride had the ladies in her party also in red. Mil to wear white and a custom dress is just sooooo over the top wanting to be the center of it. I would have almost wished they let her carry on in the white gown to look like a huge marshmallow all day. And secretly take photos of her so unflattering and some separate too from the main wedding.
Not exactly everyone, but close enough: https://www.boredpanda.com/bride-wearing-pink-wedding-mother-in-law/
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Years ago, the guy I was dating at a time had a sister who was getting married. MOB wore an off-white dress, that looked absolutely nothing like her daughter's bridal gown, so nobody cared, and she didn't "detract attention away from the bride." It's pretty clear that this MIL, however, has a few screws loose. Husband/Wife would do well to stay very far away from her--complete NC.
You, Dear Lady, are the kind of friend everyone should have, esp. in/at their wedding! You are now a legend!
I love the response: "Deport to where? The hospital?" Lady, you are quick.
I think the MIL has mental issues. She sounds awful! She might need psychiatric care.
I don't really understand what women are thinking when they do this. If you're malicious enough that you want to upstage the bride, you wear something spectacular, but not something as obvious as a white bridal dress. All that does is make everyone think you're incredibly rude and are deliberately trying to ruin the wedding.
Do you think this one is actually true, though? I keep reading these stories about crazy mils wearing white to dils weddings, and it just smacks of cheese like a bad disney movie. It's almost too cliche to believe.
I have to ask, in the coments the OP says they are not catholic, they protestant, however ( and this is the question i think British people can answer ) protestants are still catholics, just not Roman catholics, im only asking because Im legitimitly courious.
Protestants and Catholics are both Christian, but Protestants are not Catholic.
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It's stories like this is why I no longer attend weddings. NO I will not!
I'm trying not to think about what it says about me, but stories like this are *exactly* the weddings I want to attend.
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She said in the comments that it was because she's middle eastern.
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I don't believe this story. Bribing the bartender, solo cu filled to brim( did she spill on her own dress as she was making her way to confront MIL?)Overweight MIL who can hardly make it up the stairs trying to fight a young woman, quiet, sweet friend willing to let her cause this scene on her wedding day? None of it rings true.
I particularly love how the flower girl started snapping photos of the MIL having a tantrum. I also very much appreciate that the husband was on board with this.
That's what sells the story for me because that's exactly what I imagine a 12 year old doing when seeing a grown woman throwing a tantrum!
Load More Replies... I do hope the groom mans up and goes low-/no-contact, especially if/when children show up. Can you imagine the way Grandma would go to lunatic lengths to interfere with her DIL's parenting?
There are many stories of MIL wearing white, and even worse an actual wedding dress...i found that so creepy, like why would the MIL wanna be the bride? Of her own son???
I have to say here that dear MIL is mentally ill. Every single thing she did in that story was beyond normal. One thing - maybe - but everything? Nope. She needs a therapist who will help her see just how abnormally hideous she has been. I'm not surprised that everyone just backed off when she had her tantrum. Was everyone that afraid of her that they couldn't tell her what a toxic a*s she was being? She sounds unreal. I read one great reddit story about a bride who heard that MIL was going to wear a white gown at her wedding. She changed ALL the dresses, so that the bridemaids all wore white and she, the bride, wore pink. Even the groom, who was in on it, wore a matching pink cummerbund and tie! guess MIL in that tale went ballistic as well. What is it with these MILs? I'm a MIL and I wouldn't dream of interfering in my kid's wedding like that. I mean - what the hell?
What a total Monster of a Mother in Law!! To show up in an actual wedding dress for her sons' wedding what on earth was going through her mind? Its like something from a Charles Dickens' novel. As for the friend who threw the red wine, I would have taken one for the team too!
Don't hate me for this question. I know it's unforgivable to wear white to a wedding if you're not the bride, but do they deserve revenge? Does it really distract from the bride? Wouldn't it be easy to say, "Sorry, you can't be in any photos because two wedding dresses would confuse people"? And won't everyone look at them and think, "Wow, that is a petty, pathetic woman"?
If a woman shows up in a white dress, without checking with the bride first, she knows what she's doing. So, politely telling her that she can't be in any photos just wouldn't work. They are there to f*ck things up.
Load More Replies... If MIL showed up in all white, I would've told her to change or leave. How petty can a grown adult be to wear white at your kids wedding. Wtf
You say 'change or leave' and MIL says 'No'. That's what would happen. This is not a reasonable human. You can say a great deal but it can't make someone behave the way you want them to. Sometimes you have to go with sabotage.
Load More Replies... What a complete phyco. She sounds like she wanted to marry her son. The "accidentally ruin " of the dress is perfection. Good on you.
Ugh, I wore a white lace sun dress to my cousins wedding years ago when I was 13. Noooobody told me I wasn't supposed to do that! I always feel bad when I think about it to this day that I may have upset her by doing that. Whyyy didn't my older sister or mom tell me Oh heck no, go change, you can't wear a white dress to wedding!
I just don't understand Mother in laws like this SMH . All they do is push their sons away
If you think this is bad then you should see the posts about Mother in laws trying to KIDNAP their grandchildren because they disapprove of their Daughter in law. There was even a post that took place during the pandemic, I can no longer find it, about a grandmother who told her own grandchildren that SHE was the new mom and the kids' actual mom left because they were bad, the actual mom was working overseas during the pandemic and was unable to get home so her and her husband had to hire a lawyer and the "grandma" was no longer allowed contact.
Load More Replies... Tiny correction: A chuppah, also huppah, chipe, chupah, or chuppa, is a canopy under which a Jewish couple stand during their wedding ceremony. It consists of a cloth or sheet, sometimes a tallit, stretched or supported over four poles, or sometimes manually held up by attendants to the ceremony.
I could've used you 27 years ago when my step-MIL showed up to my wedding in a full length white gown. Nobody saw her until the church so nobody knew. Nothing anyone could do. She also brought her 27 ish year old boyfriend someone just slightly older than her step son, my amazing husband.
It would be epic if a bride once would find out a mil or mob was planning to wear white. Conspire to have everyone wear white instead and the bride to wear a diff color or even a black gown on her day. Men all in tux or suits of black or a single color or hue of one. With white dresses all around. Then the bride standing out that way. I heard one where an ex came in red and the bride had the ladies in her party also in red. Mil to wear white and a custom dress is just sooooo over the top wanting to be the center of it. I would have almost wished they let her carry on in the white gown to look like a huge marshmallow all day. And secretly take photos of her so unflattering and some separate too from the main wedding.
Not exactly everyone, but close enough: https://www.boredpanda.com/bride-wearing-pink-wedding-mother-in-law/
Load More Replies... Years ago, the guy I was dating at a time had a sister who was getting married. MOB wore an off-white dress, that looked absolutely nothing like her daughter's bridal gown, so nobody cared, and she didn't "detract attention away from the bride." It's pretty clear that this MIL, however, has a few screws loose. Husband/Wife would do well to stay very far away from her--complete NC.
You, Dear Lady, are the kind of friend everyone should have, esp. in/at their wedding! You are now a legend!
I love the response: "Deport to where? The hospital?" Lady, you are quick.
I think the MIL has mental issues. She sounds awful! She might need psychiatric care.
I don't really understand what women are thinking when they do this. If you're malicious enough that you want to upstage the bride, you wear something spectacular, but not something as obvious as a white bridal dress. All that does is make everyone think you're incredibly rude and are deliberately trying to ruin the wedding.
Do you think this one is actually true, though? I keep reading these stories about crazy mils wearing white to dils weddings, and it just smacks of cheese like a bad disney movie. It's almost too cliche to believe.
I have to ask, in the coments the OP says they are not catholic, they protestant, however ( and this is the question i think British people can answer ) protestants are still catholics, just not Roman catholics, im only asking because Im legitimitly courious.
Protestants and Catholics are both Christian, but Protestants are not Catholic.
Load More Replies... It's stories like this is why I no longer attend weddings. NO I will not!
I'm trying not to think about what it says about me, but stories like this are *exactly* the weddings I want to attend.
Load More Replies... She said in the comments that it was because she's middle eastern.
Load More Replies... I don't believe this story. Bribing the bartender, solo cu filled to brim( did she spill on her own dress as she was making her way to confront MIL?)Overweight MIL who can hardly make it up the stairs trying to fight a young woman, quiet, sweet friend willing to let her cause this scene on her wedding day? None of it rings true.
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