Have you ever wondered how aliens would react to all of the peculiarities we, humans, have? Assuming there's no other place similar to Earth anywhere in the galaxy, human and extraterrestrial encounters could be quite awkward. Despite the fact that we sometimes see ourselves as rather boring creatures, as compared to what we imagine aliens and all sorts of supernatural beings could be, if aliens ever try to invade our planet, they are up for a surprise. Science fiction enthusiasts on Tumblr decided to prove how badass we actually are in the form of 'tips' given to possible invaders. Scroll down to read them!
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Human response to natural disasters is to just rebuild their buildings in the exact same places.
Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.
Humans drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as a microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… as a recreational activity!
Also to instill confidence and find the less desirable members of the opposite or same sex more attractive.
Removing a limb will not fatally incapacitate humans: always destroy the head.
Somehow reading this gives me a sense of security, albeit a bit 😊
Humans expose themselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening their skin.
Humans climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights.
Humans risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see their favorite musicians live.
Humans invented dogs. They took their one time predators and completely domesticated them.
Humans have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out.
A lot of ancient civilizations did boxing/fighting type sports. I imagine aliens would have something similar to test their strength
Humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to their extreme heartiness, they regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. Humans even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.
I woulkd like to introduce Leonid Rogozov. he was the only doctor stationed at an antarctic research base during the winter and developed appendicitis and had cut out his own appendix. He was helped by a driver and a meteorologist who handed the instruments and held a mirror so he could see. Operation took about 2 hours and he was back to duty in two weeks. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonid_Rogozov
Humans willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
Humans can and will use improvised weapons. See classified data labeled J. Chan.
Human strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but they don’t need to overpower or outrun you. Humans just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, they just plain don’t get tired.
That's basically how primitive man hunted. They couldn't keep up with their faster prey, but quickly caught up when said prey was resting.
Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.
Mating season is the winter; when its cold outside and nothing to do....
Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, humans can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”
Adolescents of the species responses were shockingly different. With the subject groaning, rolling of eyes, and constantly stating they know. A response that is far more annoying than the hatchlings.
Human bites can be fatally infectious even to other humans.
Humans can project bioweapons from almost every orifice on their body. Do not inhale.
Humans eat capsaicin (an active component of chili peppers) for fun.
True, and we are the only (known) animals to eat spicy foods on purpose.
Humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
Humans will eat anything.
Anything they can.. Anything they find tasty, if not then humans tried to cook it.
And if cooking doesn't work, there's alway deep-frying.
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Don't eat elephant ears (the plant). Bad things will happen to your mouth. Don't ask how I know this either
And yet those of us with too much taste or smell will often eat practically nothing.
ever had a slight burnt cookie? Head cheese? Bone broth?? Your missing out that shits great
Even if its considered by majority as inedible.. or harmful... There is always at leas one...
true with tide pods.... they should be dead after eating them.
as long as it's crispy, has a balance of sweet and sour, it''s fresh and locally produced. the satanist maniacs would eat anything but not because they are stronger than you (though would clown themselves to scare you) - because they don't want to abandon the huge privileges received by the loyal ones. Remember Warhammer 40k - the cruelty of the dark elves, the recklessness and distructive passion of the orks, the somptuosity of the elves who destroyed them in the end creating another chaos god, the ruthlessness and strict control of the humans and the lack of structure of tyranids, ready to assimilate anything, anyhow, not caring about where it would take them, with the single purpose of destroying anyone else? These are them and much more.
Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.
Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow.
Thinking logically.. Yeah, our limbs are not made to hit, punch and kick in the first place 😂. It's originally used to hold, create and use tools. Like rock spears n make fire 🔥
On a planet full of lions, tigers, and bears, humans managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Human jaws have too many teeth in them, so they developed a way to weld metal to their teeth and force the bones in their jaw to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then humans continue to wear metal in their mouths to keep them in place.
Humans use borderline toxic peppers to season their food.
Humans can reproduce at a rate of 1 per space year. Destroy infestations immediately.
But sometimes for unknown reasons the rate is higher. They call it twins
Humans heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
All humans have a scar from being hatched. They named it after aquatic warfare.
Humans can detect you even at night by tracking vibrations through the atmosphere.
it's called sound, but they make it look science fiction. And they are pretty lazy at this, too, like with all the senses - the only ones functioning are the orgasm and the greed. They help themselves with much technology, though, and they placed video and audio recorders everywhere - even in the oceans or forests.
We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it.
Ah, the Great Oxygenation Event, a.k.a. Oxygen Catastrophe, Oxygen Crisis, Oxygen Holocaust. This event happened when first photosynthesizing lifeforms began to pollute the atmosphere with their waste.
Humans deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke. Even in the face of said substances being carcinogenic, because they just don’t care.
Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics before they developed space travel.
Humans formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects they keep at bay from bothering them by death, often using little analouge traps.
The human mouth has over thirty outcrops of bone and powerful jaw muscles.
The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.
The prion contamination touches about one in a million people, so if you don't sleep with that one you will be safe. as for the rest, they take showers 2-3 times per day and the body odour is a criteria of discrimination. So no problem with that, you could even eat them if you want... On the other hand, if this place is so dirty it begs to be destroyed, right?
When showering, humans cup their hands against their stomachs, let them fill with water, then drop all the water at once. Or maybe that's just me who knows.
If "tumblr users" are now representatives of humanity, then I'm fighting for the aliens...
Humans keep the stupid of their species alive with safety rules. Then allow them to breed. They have doomed themselves.
We have pets, we let these little animals live in our houses, we feed them and clean up after them, we can never converse with them properly, we both communicate and use body language in a vastly different way, they never know our names but we love each other immensely and it works, it really works.
Salty drops start to run out of humans eyes if they become sad, scared or angry, and sometimes if they laugh.
Scarily, the salt water has different chemicals depending on what mood is causing the human to leak!
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Humans use products filled with sometimes toxic ingredients to cover up their skin and contour and reshape their facial features to achieve a more esthetically pleasing appearance
Large number of humans believe in a creative force they often call god. Those that do believe in such a force demand complete adherence to such an entity and incorporate said adherence into the moral foundation for sustained combat.
Humans mutilate themselves to draw weird body drawings, for hanging shiny rocks on their ears. It hurts, but they really desperate to show off to other humans.
Humans think themselves self-aware, but they almost universally cannot disassociate their emergent consciousness from its organic host. As a result, the physical shell is almost universally the weak point of their mind. Positive and negative reinforcement with pain stimuli is effective in most cases.
Humans often incorporate their highest aspirations of morality into the desire to engage in combat giving them the strongest motivations to continue a fight.
Humans can continue to fight in even the most adverse conditions. Depriving them of food, sleep, water subjecting them to extreme weather conditions often only strengthens their resolve.
It really doesn't. Morale isn't bolstered by lack of food and sleep deprivation, and even if it was combat effectiveness decreases rapidly with such adverse conditions.
Load More Replies... When showering, humans cup their hands against their stomachs, let them fill with water, then drop all the water at once. Or maybe that's just me who knows.
If "tumblr users" are now representatives of humanity, then I'm fighting for the aliens...
Humans keep the stupid of their species alive with safety rules. Then allow them to breed. They have doomed themselves.
We have pets, we let these little animals live in our houses, we feed them and clean up after them, we can never converse with them properly, we both communicate and use body language in a vastly different way, they never know our names but we love each other immensely and it works, it really works.
Salty drops start to run out of humans eyes if they become sad, scared or angry, and sometimes if they laugh.
Scarily, the salt water has different chemicals depending on what mood is causing the human to leak!
Load More Replies... Humans use products filled with sometimes toxic ingredients to cover up their skin and contour and reshape their facial features to achieve a more esthetically pleasing appearance
Large number of humans believe in a creative force they often call god. Those that do believe in such a force demand complete adherence to such an entity and incorporate said adherence into the moral foundation for sustained combat.
Humans mutilate themselves to draw weird body drawings, for hanging shiny rocks on their ears. It hurts, but they really desperate to show off to other humans.
Humans think themselves self-aware, but they almost universally cannot disassociate their emergent consciousness from its organic host. As a result, the physical shell is almost universally the weak point of their mind. Positive and negative reinforcement with pain stimuli is effective in most cases.
Humans often incorporate their highest aspirations of morality into the desire to engage in combat giving them the strongest motivations to continue a fight.
Humans can continue to fight in even the most adverse conditions. Depriving them of food, sleep, water subjecting them to extreme weather conditions often only strengthens their resolve.
It really doesn't. Morale isn't bolstered by lack of food and sleep deprivation, and even if it was combat effectiveness decreases rapidly with such adverse conditions.
Load More Replies...