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If you think your city is wild, just wait until you see what other people are dealing with.

Thanks to Citizen app reports — where everyday people post local incidents in real time — we now know humanity is somehow both worse and way funnier than we thought.

From “27 goats causing a traffic jam” to a man fighting a cactus outside 7-Eleven, here are some of the most ridiculous real alerts people have shared.

We hope you enjoy this chaotic masterpiece as much as we did.

#1

Report Of Man With Pants On Fire Either A Pathological Liar… Or Just Extremely Unlucky

Report Of Man With Pants On Fire Either A Pathological Liar… Or Just Extremely Unlucky

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    #2

    Man Throwing Cupcakes At Cars Sprinkle Your Rage

    Man Throwing Cupcakes At Cars Sprinkle Your Rage

    Report

    TheReader19
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Silly people, open your windows and catch them. 🧁

    #3

    Juveniles Throwing Pickles At Albertsons When Life Gives You Pickles, You Start A Food Fight

    Juveniles Throwing Pickles At Albertsons When Life Gives You Pickles, You Start A Food Fight

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    Highfalutin Heron
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely need to be alerted if a loved one is near a pickle throwing incident

    #4

    Woman Armed With Five Frying Pans She Came Prepared For A Five-Course Battle

    Woman Armed With Five Frying Pans She Came Prepared For A Five-Course Battle

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    TheReader19
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone left the toilet seat up

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    #5

    Twenty Pounds Of Feces Dumped On The Sidewalk San Francisco, Ca When You Have Beef With The City… And The Plumbing

    Twenty Pounds Of Feces Dumped On The Sidewalk San Francisco, Ca When You Have Beef With The City… And The Plumbing

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    #6

    Women Throwing Bricks At Each Other Jamaica, Queens, NY Sometimes You Skip The Drama And Head Straight For Demolition

    Women Throwing Bricks At Each Other Jamaica, Queens, NY Sometimes You Skip The Drama And Head Straight For Demolition

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    #7

    Man Refusing To Leave H&m After Opening A Beer Retail Therapy + Open Bar = A Dangerous Combo

    Man Refusing To Leave H&m After Opening A Beer Retail Therapy + Open Bar = A Dangerous Combo

    Report

    #8

    Person Punched While Dancing In The Street Apparently Not Everybody Appreciates Performance Art

    Person Punched While Dancing In The Street Apparently Not Everybody Appreciates Performance Art

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    #9

    Woman Threatening A Person With A Flower Pot Florals? For Aggression? Groundbreaking

    Woman Threatening A Person With A Flower Pot Florals? For Aggression? Groundbreaking

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    #10

    Man Wielding Two Chopsticks In Police Custody Deadliest Utensils Since The Spork

    Man Wielding Two Chopsticks In Police Custody Deadliest Utensils Since The Spork

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    #11

    Man Slaps Chihuahua Justice For The Tiny, Furious

    Man Slaps Chihuahua Justice For The Tiny, Furious

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