Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
We all know, rationally, that if a fly landed in our soup, the actual surface area it touched would be very small. At the same time, most of us also would probably prefer to not eat that particular bowl. As it turns out, this same principle is just as true when it comes to dating.
So we gathered the most interesting responses to a thread posted on BoredPandaHQ, asking netizens to weigh in on what causes women to rapidly lose interest in a man. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to head on over to the BP community and follow the page for more interesting threads and memes.
This post may include affiliate links.
RELATED:
#2
So many things…. if i had to pick one thing i’d say it’s when a man makes a rude “joke” about me and i get upset and then he acts like i’m too sensitive for not enjoying being insulted.
DearTumbleweed5380:
For me, when I turned it back around on him and woah - the sulking! The hurt feelings and the poor little me act. Don't give it out if you can't take it.
#3
Inability to communicate. Counter accusing instead of taking accountability for their actions.
Defiant_Industry1155:
Counter accusing is the actual worst.
OP:
Absolutely! 💯 It can be so shocking and confusing until you realize what they're actually trying to do. Toxic.
Sue Denham 2 days ago
Absolutely. And the person who can say "Yes, I did do that and I apologise for it," gets extra respect from me.
Ever wonder why a guy can go from prince charming to total cringe in the blink of an eye? That sudden stomach flip of revulsion is what the internet affectionately calls the ick. We posed this question to the good folks at Bored Panda HQ and gathered their thoughts. While it might seem harsh to dump someone because they ran for the bus with a backpack on or used a straw too enthusiastically it is a genuine psychological phenomenon.
According to experts at VeryWellMind, the ick develops when we’re suddenly repulsed by a specific, often “small” action. It often pops up during the early dating stages when you are still building an image of who someone is.
#4
For me, it's lying. Lie to me once, I will lose all respect for you.
loco_mixer:
No human in the history of the planet tells the whole truth all the time.
Mynameismommy:
True but there’s a huge difference between lying to save someone’s feelings when knowing the truth would do no good (in my opinion the only justifiable time), and just lying to get what you want or because it’s “easier”.
#5
I don’t like when they don’t have empathy for others especially empathy for children, animals and the elderly. I also don’t like mansplaining my profession to me when they know nothing of it.
#6
Lack of passion, stupidity, arrogance and a big ego. To name a few… oh and if he says he's an alpha male…🙄.
The concept gained massive popularity through reality shows like Love Island where contestants would suddenly find themselves repulsed by a partner for the smallest reasons. While some people argue it is just a shallow excuse to end things others believe it is our intuition signaling a deeper lack of compatibility.
#7
If he/she is an unwarranted ahole to waiters, or people on the phone who's job it is to help you and likely already deal with aholes all day.
Instant turn off.
Spock_s_wife1984:
That is so cringe. I also hate when people I’m with are jerks to servers, cashiers, retail workers or anyone in the service industry.
Doug Moyer 2 days ago
I've never worked in the service industry, but I spend a lot of time sitting at bars in breweries. The servers are busting their butts. Be nice and tip well (in the US)!
#8
Eat with your mouth open. 🤮.
chouxphetiche:
And lick every finger with a loud smacking sound.
#9
The absence of any sort of integrity.
Your brain might be picking up on subtle social cues or hygiene habits that do not align with your long term needs. In the responses you see here many women describe that precise second where the rose colored glasses shattered. Maybe he did a weird little dance or he was way too intense about a hobby that just did not click.
#10
Possessiveness and jealousy. It's not a compliment.
One-Load-6085:
The whole romance novel genre women love would beg to disagree...
Anon:
If you fear abandonment, seek therapy. Don’t make it your partner’s problem. They shouldn’t have to sacrifice their family & friends just b/c they have you.
#11
I lose interest when a man shows me he doesn't know how to listen. I'm not talking about deep conversations, I'm talking about simple details, like if I tell him something important and he doesn't even remember it, if everything revolves around him, or if he seems present but isn't really there.
dankeykang4200:
So ADHD is pretty much a deal breaker for you? It's fine if it is. Women born in December are a deal breaker for me. It's not because anything dumb like astrology. It's because my mother, my sister, my son, and Jesus all have birthdays in December. I can't afford another December birthday in my life.
Psychologists often suggest that the ick acts as a defense mechanism to protect us from investing in the wrong person. We often want our partners to be “good,” so we overlook warning signs. This way, our brains can give us a reality check. It is almost like your subconscious mind is performing a quick audit and deciding that the physical or social chemistry just is not there.
#13
Narcissistic behaviors and alcoholism.
Shark Lady 2 days ago
I lived with an alcoholic for six years, I don't recommend it. You can't change their behaviour until they want to get sober.
#15
Being a man boy. Having to be told what to do. Propping them up: ie having to make their Dr. appts. travel plans, grocery shopping etc.
Not being a helpful partner. Playing video games instead of helping with kids & chores.
anon:
It's gonna be weird when you have kids with a Man and then it turns out he plays video games instead of helping with kids
Crystalwitch60 2 days ago
Is this anon a freaking incel troll ? Cos he’s proving the points perfectly every one !
Once you catch the ick it is notoriously difficult to shake off because it affects your base level of attraction. It turns charming quirks into irritating flaws that you just cannot unsee. While some minor icks can be managed through open communication many people find that the feeling is a point of no return. It serves as a reminder that dating is often as much about what we cannot tolerate as it is about what we love. So if you find yourself suddenly turned off by the way he holds a sandwich just know that you are definitely not alone in that experience. We’ve put together a community on Reddit for Pandas to share their thoughts on questions like in this post and to share memes and interesting facts, so head on over there for more.
#16
Constantly talking over me and not letting me get a word in. Making excuses.
Crystalwitch60 2 days ago
👍that’s lack of respect totally and comes with the doors >>>>>>>that way use it !
#17
Perpetual victimhood.
zububonsai 2 days ago (edited)
"Boohoohoo, all my coworkers are bad...and my neighbours.... and politicians all want my worst... the immigrants are stealing my job..." Yep. Find the common denominator.
#18
Being a hypocrite, exploitative and controlling. I was v close with a guy and then he hit the trifecta in one giant meltdown, which went over a few days. Suddenly saw him in a completely different light and never felt the slightest physical attraction again, and only felt revulsion. It also made me re-evaluate our past and pretty much everything he'd ever said or told me in a *very* unflattering light.
#19
Finding out he values his mommy's opinion more than the opinion of his significant other.
Anon:
Pretty deluded to think a guy would automatically value your opinion higher than the womam who created and loved him unconditionally for 30 years; you seem to have a scarcity mindset.
#20
When a man feels he "trapped" me, then stops working, stops taking care of himself, turns into a sorry little man-child. Then acts all offended when I either walk with nobody's help, or find someone better. No honey, you brought it all on yourself. Leave my name out of your mouth 😂.
iseefractals 1 day ago
lol or he realized who you actually are and decided the cleanest escape route was allowing you to think it was all your idea.
#24
Feeling taken for granted, lack of respect, lack of support.
BlazingJav:
Feeling taken for granted can be confused for a man feeling safe and secured with her partner.
Anon:
What? So men taking women for granted? Just means they feel safe ? That’s a new one, cool!
#25
The toilet seat. It’s usually the toilet seat.
EmpiresofNod:
I was married at 16 and one day my wife fell into the toilet because I left the toilet seat up and I heard it. I never left the toilet seat up again. Even now after all these years when my nephew uses the toilet, I tell him to stop using my bathroom. He then asks "How do you know I used it?" I respond with "becasue you left the seat up. Do you have no respect for the ladies in the house?"
Shark Lady 2 days ago
Ttirreg: some people go to the bathroom at night without turning on a light so as not to wake up others in the house, or so you don't get that horrible blinded feeling. Everyone should be putting the lid down before you flush so you don't end up with p**p/urine particles flying around your toothbrush.
#26
Bad breath. Or a particularly bad kisser.
Spock_s_wife1984:
If he has bad breath, he’s a bad kisser by default.
MoMcB 2 days ago
Yeah but there’s also the wet kisser, who leaves your face soaking wet. Kissed one once, never again.
V 2 days ago
But have you ever had a cold sausage tongue kiss? It was like he was jabbing me in the mouth with a cold, cooked sausage. This was 20 years ago but it still sends a shiver down my spine in a not good way.
Load More Replies...
LillieMean 2 days ago
Yuck. A disgusting memory from my teenage years just came back to me. I kissed a dude who thought it was okay to use his tongue to explore my teeth. I hope he didn't become a kinky dentist. Worst kiss ever.
zububonsai 2 days ago (edited)
I don't completely agree with this one. My turn-off would be specifically: bad oral hygiene. But there are a lot of health conditions causing bad breath you can't brush off with a tooth brush: tonsil stones, digestive/stomach issues ... I would be graceful about it. // Plus, your "bad breath partner" can be a talented kisser and doesn't NEED to kiss you wet with tongue on the mouth, there are a lot of other lovely places on your body which appreciate a loving kiss *wink, wink*.
#27
- comparing me to his mom
- being rude
- Lying.
#28
When he values his masculinity more than me.
Michael Largey 2 days ago
The problem is with him seeing any sort of conflict between the two in the first place.
#29
For me, ego disgusts me, bad moral compass, rudeness… and sometimes just being too “into me” is a turn off. Honestly, anything! I’m a “vibe” person, always tuning into my gut feelings about the situation. It’s just the way the Weinstein wobbles.
Ok_Departure504:
You seem like the kind of person that would create a very toxic relationship.
#30
When I’m not feeling like I’m wanted and special. We don’t want to tell us, we want to feel it all around us.
#31
If he tries to play that push and pull game — trying to get you to chase him for basic conversation. Childish. Blocked.
#32
One nasty joke at my expense. Anything in the ballpark of gaslighting. Hit me once in anger.
Welcome to my past. No you do not get another chance.
InternationalBet2832:
Women pick fights because they want to be reassured their man is strong enough to fight off enemies. This is a big red flag for a man. If a woman knows she'll be thrown out if she fails to control herself, he'll control herself. Otherwise she'll scream her head off.
Bewitched One 2 days ago
w*f is that reply? So, basically, you think it’s okay to hit a woman? There are shorter ways of saying it bud
#33
Shallow conversation.
Grape Walls of Ire 2 days ago
Geez, you generally can't be deep and philosophical when you're trying to write up a grocery list.
#34
He consistently takes more than 12 hours to message me back. Total turn off.
KatSaidThat 2 days ago
Circumstantial. What if you are texting him at 6pm when he just went on shift and is not allowed to play on the phone? You need to have a conversation about it. If it still happens, then yes, sack him off.
#35
Too complicated of a lifestyle: constant travel, weird work schedule, pets, workaholism, family enmeshment, a stressful job, restlessness, weekends away, poor eating and the inevitable health conditions, dreams of owning livestock. At that point it doesn’t matter if they’re fiscally stable or honest, a net negative.
#36
Shaking her hand when he’s trying to hit on her.
I was at a beer garden and some dude was hitting on me and straight up offered me a handshake. I was all, “Ok. No thanks!”
Imaginary-Carpenter4:
A handshake is such a traditional, normal interaction, which you have every right to refuse of course, but there is nothing weird about it in my opinion.
What do you think ?
Ace 2 days ago
Pretty much the same old, same old, but why has BP decided to claim credit with the "Bored Panda Community"headline when it's yet another list copied straight from Reddit?
Kiki Likes Sweets 2 days ago (edited)
Yeah,thought that too as I've never seen any of the user names before, but clicked on Bored Panda HQ and found that its the Bored Panda reddit page, and its all from there. They're now the real community, apparently, and we're just the BP plebs.🤔
Load More Replies...
Must Be Bored Again 2 days ago
Breaking trust. Doesn’t have to be an affair. Secret spending, hiding money, eBay a****t, actually set up secret PO Box to send and receive items. We were married, not dating! Nothing weird, just collectables or things that interest him. Why hide it?
Phantom Phoenix 2 days ago
Hi Justin, BP author, Just letting you know that it's "weighs in", not "weights in"
Neopet22 9 hours ago (edited)
Most of these are for sure red flags even for friendships btw but I wanted to add my own. Recently I was asked on a date by a guy who seemed pretty assertive which I am not used to but didn't mind. He hit on me at the bus stop and we didn't talk much but we were supposed to go on a date, initially I thought it was nice he made the decision where to go and what time but later I realized it was kind of a red flag to me. A first date should be about both people choosing a place they would like and make sure there's mutual respect in choosing the time and place. He never asked me which area I live in to even know if I can get to that place myself (mind you he didn't even know I was driving otherwise it's 45 minutes by bus and in -30 degrees where I live is not ideal).
Neopet22 9 hours ago
Guess my point is that it's cool being assertive but make sure you also take other persons condition into consideration. Not even checking if I have a way to get there tells me all I need to know
Load More Replies...
Michael Danhauer 1 day ago
I think that over 95% of these are bad behaviors that both genders commit.
Ace 2 days ago
Pretty much the same old, same old, but why has BP decided to claim credit with the "Bored Panda Community"headline when it's yet another list copied straight from Reddit?
Kiki Likes Sweets 2 days ago (edited)
Yeah,thought that too as I've never seen any of the user names before, but clicked on Bored Panda HQ and found that its the Bored Panda reddit page, and its all from there. They're now the real community, apparently, and we're just the BP plebs.🤔
Load More Replies... Must Be Bored Again 2 days ago
Breaking trust. Doesn’t have to be an affair. Secret spending, hiding money, eBay a****t, actually set up secret PO Box to send and receive items. We were married, not dating! Nothing weird, just collectables or things that interest him. Why hide it?
Phantom Phoenix 2 days ago
Hi Justin, BP author, Just letting you know that it's "weighs in", not "weights in"
Neopet22 9 hours ago (edited)
Most of these are for sure red flags even for friendships btw but I wanted to add my own. Recently I was asked on a date by a guy who seemed pretty assertive which I am not used to but didn't mind. He hit on me at the bus stop and we didn't talk much but we were supposed to go on a date, initially I thought it was nice he made the decision where to go and what time but later I realized it was kind of a red flag to me. A first date should be about both people choosing a place they would like and make sure there's mutual respect in choosing the time and place. He never asked me which area I live in to even know if I can get to that place myself (mind you he didn't even know I was driving otherwise it's 45 minutes by bus and in -30 degrees where I live is not ideal).
Neopet22 9 hours ago
Guess my point is that it's cool being assertive but make sure you also take other persons condition into consideration. Not even checking if I have a way to get there tells me all I need to know
Load More Replies... Michael Danhauer 1 day ago
I think that over 95% of these are bad behaviors that both genders commit.
You May Like “That’s When I Called 911”: 69 Creepy Dates That Made People Run For The Hills 40 Times Cheaters Got Caught After One Small Slip-Up Gave Them Away "Didn't Ask Me A Single Question": 51 First Dates That Crashed And Burned Like A Shooting Star
Gabija Palšytė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Related on Bored Panda
